IBEBh
If
SECTION TWO-PAGE FOUR
THE COOS BAY TIMES. MARSHFIELD. OREGON. FRIDAY, AUGUST 6, 1915 EVENING EDITION.
The Central Avenue Booster
VOIi. 1.
CENTRAL AVENUE, FRIDAY, AUGUST U, 101.1
m
FOR"
quibb's
ervice
atisfaction
HflP
afety First
urety
always
EE
Never Monkey
THE CENTRAL AVENUE DOOSTER
Anoth
i
Mae
s JJuzfrsa
"The Owl"
Frank 1). Cohan.
Tho C'oiil nil Avoutio Drug Kioto
Published Every Friday in tlio Inter
est of Coos liny In General and
Central Avontio In jmrtlcular.
Subscrliitlon Price. Your good will,
and membership In tlio Dooster Club
Entered at tlio Postofflce as strictly
DON'T
Don't laugh nt those who niuko mlstukoB mill btuinblo on tlio way,
For you nro npt to follow tlieni and almost on any day;
Don't think tlio others Hlilftlng sun d, while you nro solid rock,
And don't forget, for heaven's) sak o, that any fool can knock.
i First-Class matter; there is nothing I
Second-Class about Central Avcnuo,
tr.
Everyone needs, and cannot afford to be without a
Tricolator
tammammmamammmmmm
for making
COFFEE
Because it makes the best Coffee
Always the same Fits Any Coffee Pot
It's inexpensive and "Fool Proof."
OlKvarat & Weaver
Exclusive Agents
Corner Third and Central. Phone 199.
WAR IIULLETIXS
In Europe
The battle- wages day and night,
I The fearsome wnr pot always bolls
Once they were spoiling for a fight
Now they arc fighting for spolltt.
i J. T. Hnrrlgan says tlio Russians,
I beloved Allies of his nativo laud,
jnult Warsaw so they could got n
I bettor run at the foo a little later
on.
"It Is nmuslng," remarked n
pro-German the other day, "to hear
j some of those fellows who couldn't
I buy a steerage ticket on a Coos
' Hlvor scow howl about tho rights of
Americans on tho high seas."
LORD JOHN TACKLE 'EM 1IAKIII
GAN nnd Cupt. Tako-a-.Inb-at-'Ein
.Macgcnu. the well-known English
sympathizers aro all set for tho Eng
lish drive against tho Dutch.
Count von Sengstacken says: "Yes
thu Oermnn war saw sawing at War
saw looks like a whlpsaw, the worst
that Hnrrlgan ever saw."
SMILE-A-WHILE
RUSINESS VS. WAR
i Vtis i iwvn ti Vtjsx iu na i iur i i x'jiusuau iiiiviiu.
4
TolN a ,Jolo. Don Lawyer told
us n Joke on Al Myers this week
and wanted us to print It. At loaLt
he said it was n Joke.
SMILE-A-WHILE
A Needed Discovery. Yo scrlbo
can say from painful experience that
ono of tho greatest needs of today
Is "twilight sleep" In the dentl.d's
chair.
SMILE-A-WHILE
"When you are PRESSED for Good
Clothes, go to
Jay Doyle's Place
fill call anywhere any time.
mil Central Avenue Phone 2.-.0-X
.-v o 7
Dasadlv;
anta
.MAN Is at a disadvantage when ho
has no money with which to tako
advantage of tho many opportunities
that coiun his way "HEAT. OP
PORTUNITY conies only to the man
with ready money." Why not start
saving Right Now and be ready. Wo
will help you along by giving you
t per cent on your savings.
I wont into Oswald's butcher shop,
And said "When will this warfare
stop?"
Hut all that Oswald had to say
Was: ".Mutton chops aro fine today!"
Next Into Cook's Grocery I went,
And talked of Europe's nriunmcnt.
lint Ooorgo he slowly shook his head
"These eggs aro fresh," was ull ho
said.
And by and by It dawned on mo
That In this country of tho free,
Tho wise men mind their own af
fairs, And let tho other lands run theirs.
ANON.
smile-a-while
Some Joko One of our wise cit
izens says tho name of Central Aven
ue's suburbs should bo ch'nnged. Ho
says that it should bo "Marshfllled"
instead of "Marshfleld."
SMILE-A-WHILE
Not Looking" Well Our reporter
this wk thot ho had an Item but ho
didn't. Al Myers has been looking
rwful solomn lonesomo like Just
as though something awful might
luivo happened. However Al wouldn't
tell anything worth printing.
SMILE-A-WHILE
Got Skinned Our esteemed
HERE'S -A SCRAMHLE
(In California a citizen has peti
tioned to havo his name changed.
His namo Is egg.)
He's sort of egg-cited about it.
Ho calls his six kids tho half-dozon,"
Some of thorn aro bud but nil of
thorn nro "fresh." His namo Is un
doubtedly eggs-BBperatlng nnd it
would be ensy to go broko with n
name liko that. He lias been beat
en no doubt, and whipped often.
Now aud then, wo venture, ho man
ages to scramble home.
SMILE-A-WIIILE
ACCOMMODATING
aret Nationa
IBank
Of Coos BayJ
Central Avenue Marshlicld, Oregon
Make Your Home Beautiful
i Ijiuii .Mower mid a Sprinkler will i( much toward-, keeping your
I lawn In flue shape,
Wo have them In the host umKcs, .lust look at our window.
LB
Central Aveuuo and Itroadwny.
MRSH E
HARDWARE
When In
Want
of Fire, Life and Ma
rine insurance which
insures, see
SENSTACKEN
the
Insurance Man
"Meet Me at The
Smokehouse"
j That'H what we want you to tell
. your trlends. Use our chairs, use
Jour lobl or telephone. We ifre only
too glad to be of service. Wo have
!II the big league scores eery eve
ning. I
If you want the latest inagtulnos,
,u good smoke, the best that an up-
to-date tobacco shop can furnish or
1 1 enjoy a good game of billiards
or pool, we will ho glad to havo
you drop In.
Gene Crosthwaite &
Jim Kellond
FRED M'CLFES, J Ir.st Assistant.
"Tho telephone girls in this town
are very accommodating, aren't
inoyf" remaiKeii iv traveling man
at the Chandler to Clerk Van Ouyu.
"They certainly are," replied
Charlie, "when thoy can't reniom
bor the number you ask for (hoy
always give you something Just (is
good.
SMILE-A-WHILE
fellow townsman, Davo Stafford, got
a bad skinning this week. Wo don't
mean that eny ono slipped nnythlug
over on him In n trado, because, if
you know Davo you know that's im
possible. However ho took n day off,
last Sunday ( tho first ono since tho
last time ) nnd went to tho beach
and tho sunshino and tho sea breez
es havo got him to peeling to beat
tho band.
SMILE-A-WHILE
And So They Wore Weil. Clar
ence Ash, city editor of our esteemed
contomps, Tho Times, nnd Miss
Maude Mastick, hooded Cupid's tall
at Portland last Mcrday p. in. Thoy
are now nt Lakeside, trying to look
as though they had been married
n long tlnio. Tlioy will bo at homo
to tho gns collector, book agents, In
curanco solicitors and their friends
at 438 Hall aveni.o next week This
wedding was tho culmination or a
collogo romnnco begun nt U. of O.,
without any thought of what might
happen.
SMILE-A-WHILE
AL MYERS says "The weigh of the
transgressor Is about fourteen
ounces to tho pound."
SMILE-A-WHILE
F. . FLETCHER, who Is some
flour In tho gnrden of life, paid
us n call ono day this week, but
that wiib nil.
SMILE-A-WHILE
FRED WEAVER told uh last week
that ho know whore there were
two deer up In tho Drowsier Val
ley. Later Ho promised us
Bonio of tho venison If wo wouldn't
put it In tho paper.
SMILE-A-WIIILE
C. J. FUHRMAN, tho well known
Coiiulllo druggist, was seen on
our street yesterday having Jit
neyed over from his fair city with
that popular transportation artist
Fred Slaglo.
SMILE-A-WIIILE
A. T. HAINES Is homo from a
thousand-nillo Joy rldo with Frank
Horton nnd he says that nowhere
did ho seo any artery of coni
merco that compared with Ccntral
Avenue. A. T. is a genuine
booster.
SMILE-A-WIIILE I
A Regular Vacation
To visit our Soda Fountain
Clean, invigorating and pleasant surroundings art
you find here. The thirst disappears in a iffyJfl
l.... ..., Imln In linnll nAH ' """ft
IIUW yUll llcUU IU UIMir. innruj.
a Dw n( Clnffnrrl'o nnlininilQ Pnnfh clmnl.i l
h "r. ":,,:"" u,"u " J wuu"en
lllliuii uc.ior.ui.
Olaliui u o vjoeailui y v UUIUi)n
l'lione
Central Avenue
FRANK COHAN returned Inst week
from Portland and forthwith tried
to Introduce ninny metropolitan
manners. While In tho Roso City
ho did considerable Joy riding
on tho Columbia Highway which
ho says Is a very good road mid
possessed of much scenic grand
eur. SMILE-A-WIIILE
GEO. COOK ,snys life is Just onu
strenuous thing after another
with htm these days. Just as
soon as he gets busy with tho
basement of a now building along
comes County .Moobo Day and Ho
promises that It is going to bo
tlio biggest nnd best yet. Tlio
Germans taking Warsaw Isn't In
It with tho Mooso taking Dundon
next week.
SMILE-A-WIIILE
Ol'll VAUDEVILLE
I
Tlio SinokehoiiM' Sketch Team
"Hullo, Hazel!"
"How did you know my name Is
Hazel?"
"You look like n nut. Dy tho way,
Hazel, aro you married?"
"No. .My husband Is a travollng
salesman. Ho married mo when I
was u society girl."
"Wero you a society girl?"
"O, yea! Wo were one of tho first
families in town as you drive In!"
SMILE-A-WIIILE
-rWrW'4H4,4,r''"rH
HUNDREDS Of
Marshfleld Housewives
SAY OUR .NEW
Imperial
Flour
IS THE REST
OX CODS DAY
Ilu j on tiled n sack?
none nu order tomorrow morning
HAINES
Central Avenue. Phono Ml
McKcmvitVi Hunting Trip. When
Harry McKeown took his old ruizlo
loading shotgun and started for
RcodBport wo expected some sonsu
tioiial and ndventurous talcs o die
Umpiiin trails. Uut nfter walking
l"i miles wo learn (that Is Harry
walked IS miles, not us,) wnni ho
wont to load up ,hls gun to shoot a
mountain bear ho was flabbergasted
to discover that ho hud wont and
forgot to bring anv powdor wl.h
him, so after indulging In terrlblo
ptofnnlty, Harry returned homo In
disgust. His sore hand nieutlnnod
WORSE AND WORSE
"A bachelor Is usually n man who
has been crossed In love," remarked
In last wk's Iloostor was occasioned Geo. R. Anderson In u philosophic
"DILL ARNOLD, who can furnish
paving for any section this side
of tho material that Is used in
hades Jitneyed to tho county seat
yesterday and gave tho county
court a bid on a samplo inilo of
Paradise roadway. S. C. Small's
hid was smaller, howovor, and
"Dill" then Jitneyed buck again.
Hotter luck next time, Dill. Wo
know how It Is ourselves with
that county court.
SMILE-A-WHILE
by shaking hands with Warren Rood
who squeezed It turrlblo hard. Wo
uro sorry to disappoint our readers,
but they can easily seo that it w.is
Harry's fault and not ours that ho
forgot tho powder.
A PROHIH1TION PAGEANT
"Dad" Welch has suggested a
plan of parade or march of triumph
on January 1, when Orogon goes
dry. Tho parade to form as fol
lows: Wearing Whlto Ribbon Uniforms
Jack Carter Dill Shoupo
Coos Day Hand Playing
"When Oregon Goes Dry"
Cnpt. .Macgeun on a Float
Grand .Marshal
In Auto run by dry batteries
exclusively.
Ornamental Floats
Carrie Nation and Her Llttlo Hatchet
(Paper .Macho Group)
With Escort of Llvo Dnrtendors In
Chains
Tho First Water Wagon to Cross the
Plains in MO
With Escort of Reformed Alkali
Ikes and Doadwood Dicks
Elks Hand L. L. Thomas, Leader.
Playing
"It's a Long, Long Way to
Tlpsy-Rary
Fearless Daring Fletcher
Wearing a Wreath of Water Lilies
and surrounded by a group of
elderly maidens singing
"Lips That Touch Grape Julco May WANTED
Always Touch Ours."
Horrible Examples
SMILE-A-WHILE
Sl'RE THING
mood.
"Yes," roplled Huss Towor, who
was In hearing distance, "And a
married man is ono who has boon
double-crossed."
SMILE-A-WIIILE ,
PRESSED.
Pressed out of moasuro and pressed
to all length;
Pressed bo Intensely It seems, be
yond strength;
Pressed In tho body and pressed In
the soul,
Prcssod in tho mind till tho dark
surges roll.
Pressed by foes and pressed by
friends,
Pressure on pressure, till llfo nearly
ends.
Pressed into business and pressed In
tho strifo,
Pressed Into thinking you should
hnvo a wifo
Pressed by your creditors and pres
sed too, for money,
My whole llfo seems pressing, now
Isn't It funny?
JAY DOYLE.
SMILE-A-WHIL
ROOSTER WANT ADS
4
LOST Somewhoro on Coos River,
one package of smoking tobac
co. No roward tfor its return, as
I havo n now package now. Ad
dress A. Y. M caro Dooster
offico.
Man to milk sea cows.
Address Oceansldo Dairy, at
Dooster offico.
In this I think wo'U all agree,
That bo you sago or bo you fool,
We'd all fall mighty short If wo
Wore measured by the Golden
Rule.
Harry Nasburg.
DR. W. A. TOYE, 4
DENTIST 4
Hours 9 to 12; 1 to 5.
Doom 201, IrvliiR Dldg. 4
Central Avenue. Mar.shfleld 4
Just. Arrived
New Crop 1 9 1 5 Tea
SWEET AND KLAVOHV
JAPAN TEA
THE CHOICEST. YOC HAVE EVER TASTIII)
Only 60c Per Pound
ALSO A COMPLETE LINE OF CHOICE FRKSII .'m;TS
(JREEX VEUETAHLES
Phone your ordeis early.
cook's n
GROCERY V i
ROMPT
OPULAR
ROGRESSIVE
Phono 181).
DC LUCE? I TVC FORTH!
aa ix m--!W u BEST
Myrtle Wood Novelties
FOR SOl'VENIHS
JEWEL DOXES, NUT DOWLS, CARD TRAYS, N.Vl'lil.V fM
CANES, (.'LOVE AND HANDKERCHIEF HOXKS, TADUJj
CHESTS, CHAIRS, VENEER AND LUMHER IX Till! Midi
Special Order Work u Specially
Phono tI7."-.I. 22(1 CenlMl .lis
A N S C O F I L M S
Satsuma Plums
. . . 35
For Canning
Per Basket
A Fl'LL LINE OF FINE FRESH Fltl'ITS AND CIIDIfl! fiKHI
THINGS TO TEMPT A JADED APPKTITI!
NASBURG
GROCER!
Corner Central Aveuuo nnd Setfu'I
Street.
Get Insurance that Insures
That's the kind I write. You take no chances
E. I. CHANDLER
COKE BUILDING
Flro Insurance, Lllo ,iutl Accident Insurance, Suiely HonJs, Ul
Ed Meade.
Kandy Noot
ABSOLUTELY FREE
Stingy pcoplo nro not booster,
Tlio knocker Is simply n mult;
With each lm of PngMoyV c.mdy,
I Klve you a piirplo peanut.
Ed. .Monde, Gnjfler.
Noble Theatre.
Central AvenuJ
CENTRAL AVFNI1F MUSIf STORE
PIJNOS .ORGANS, VICTROLAS, RECORDS, SHEET
MUSIC AMD EVERYTHING IN THE MUSIC LINE
we win ne glad to arrange terms if you cannoi
nav all cash.
Thomas Musir rtomuany
Consolidation of noy llt Aeu ,, w K ,,. Muslc 8W
IW Central Aveuuo.
PLAIN TO TAKE"
AT THE
The Bui
a Good Menu Central iM""
HI
PfPP?f-ftfPjw