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About The new Northwest. (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 27, 1881)
- - THE NEW yORTH WEST, THURSDAY, OCTOBER 27, 1881. CUHRKNT DRIFT. METRICAL MELANGE V . MISCELLANEOUS ADVERTIHEMENTH. T Sitting down on' a hornet' ret Is stimulating but not nourishing. 1 - A tender-hearted man would always turn aside gather than step on a wasp when he wan barefooted. - There Is only one May to make a boy keep quiet, and that Is to set him to work yelling to scare- : crows. , ' . , , ). ' '' - Almost' any man can send a boy on an errand, ; tut only ill wealthy have leisure to spare to wait for blta to gel back. -fA ftundav school bov. unin beinir asked 'what iftdelhe Tower of Pisa lean, replied i VlJecause of the famine in the land." - . '-P- . Beecher says' "w pray too much." ThU ex plains why.the average newsaper man's breeches lways bag at the knees. - t; ' The reputation of a roan Is like his shadow gigantic when it precedes, and pigmy (n Its pro portions when It folpws him. rJAj'old adage says that "courtesy opens many lors." True, and it's Infernal discourtesy doesn't hut them aga I n.-r-Uott on ir$t. ProfeHMorUUev says kerosene is sure death to Insects In airtageMCi--,tniay be In stages, but how -mbout In hotels 7lAiwcU CiUzen. XdowntowninarrrWho-w'ent-to church - last fiunday, remarked afterward that he preferred the organ to the preacher, lie said there seemed to be a&top to the organ. . J Gold is Judgel,of Its fineness by comparison with a carat, the human heart is measured by the teat', and some heads are suggestive of the gentle abbage. Jlonton Tiniet. " . . -L. When a Chicago woman wants a divorce, she gets witnesses to "wear that she has Just discov ered her husband to be a St. Iuls man, and the Court releases her from the disgusting mesalliance -t once, lloton-ltt. ,,. ; L -. The little town of -Elmr In Switzerland, which was almost ntirely overwhelmed by a landslip ome months ago, is threatened with another catastrophe of the same nature. The devoted town mightwlthxeason, be called Slippery Klmr Beware "of ' theTandlady who merely 'keeps ' boarders for company' or "because the house is . too largej.! ILyou have ho flesh to lose hunt up some sensible person who makes' a business of .' running a boarding-house,, and Is not-ashamed to ay so. Philadelphia Sews. " AMrr JohnirtdnreTt!MwaierrM ichhaa gone to England,' w.h'ere sho proposes to collect three ' hundred or four hundred servant grrls to bring Lack with her. It Is not more servant girl that America wants.' What thls'couBtry really sutlers for is somebody who can successfully boss one of them. Chica Jo Tribune J ' Mrs. O'Brien publishes a card, at Hock Island, .111., to say that Methodism Is a failure. She has been brought to that way of thinking by the con duct of the Rev. Mr. Meredith, who converted her, Induced her to elope from her husband, and finaTy . deserted her. She has humbly returned to the - Roman Catholic church. V- " An old gentleman, finding couple of his nieces fencing with broomstickspsald: "Come, come my dears, that kind of accomplishment will not 'ald you In gettlpg husbands-1 JL know t, uncle," responded one of the girls, as she. gave a lunge, "but It will help to keep our husbands iu order when we get them." A grandfather, coming to read his paper found that he had mislaid his spectacles, and thereu (Km declared r "I have left toy glasses somewhere and can't read the paper." A little four-year-old girl, outside and look froo ze window and I will hold ze pater up-s rat you can read It." ; A young Biddeford man propose! for. thehaad r hi i -.1. 1. .. t . . ..a ... oi a iH'auiiiui gin iskik v wuk replying, he said: itl await your answer with bated breath." The girl, "who Is a good deal of a humorist, sald,:MWell, MrV Man, you will have to bait your breath with something besides high wines and Llniburger cheese to catch, your hum ble servant. Oood-cvenlng." A girl at Anderson, Ky., desired a new-hat trimmed profusely wlth'bright-cplored feathers, according to rihuHngfahlon; but hftd.no money -to buy tliem.A in1lliant-huel rooster came her way, and she killed him, plucked his feathers; and adorned the hat exactly to her liking. But the owner of the fowl had her arrested, and she "wore he-hat Jn cpurtyjnstead of church, as she1 had Intended.- " '-V ' ' A Board of Directors of a railway are jh session. The means of obviating the frequent accidents on the ros1 being under discussion, and a very ex pensive system of signals having been proposed, "Iet us nee about thls'fSays one of thejttoard "What are the average 'damages for every one killed ?" He is told, and he at once falls to calcu lating with pencil and paper. In a few minute he emerges -with an air of -decision. "Gentle men," he remarks, "there Is nothing further to be aid about it. ; I find that your -signal system for the prevention of accidents would coqt the com pany much more than the accidents themselves. The question is settled." French Paper. MrsTAciiED Giria "Yes," said a St. Louis professor, wlfca asked about the frequency of such cases, "there are a considerable number of ladies afflicted with beardsT The trouble usually occurs In women who are of dark complexion, and more frequently in middle age than In youth. When .you see a dark woman with large, bushy-4 eye brows, which nearly grow together, you may be pretty sure that she can grow an Imperial if she will only' take the necessary pains. . Hirsute adornments are not so frequent in young women, although they sometimes occur. A girl often has a heavy growth of down upon the upper lip or chin.- ii annoys her, and she is feeling it and pulling' it continually.. Terhapa she endeav ors to clip It with a scissors, or, In some , cases, to shave It. The result is a heavier growth prominent mat u must be removed. the hair, makes its appearance Is on the upper lip or chin, although it sometimes appears on ine siae of the face, and even on the throatV -In the course -Atitty-firnjt tpo t hgvf, Af n more than one woman ' who could raise a heavy beaixilfTshenly'wlshedt 10 cultivate it." . : " ... . 'u-ii Ti- PI -Hbtrt her saktt If s mn- twenty, strong at thirty, learned at forty and rich at fifty, he will never be handsome, strong, learned or rich In this, world." Statistics. Ob- ,.A PACK OF LEYPS. ? , A iiicmImV drooping of the . ' '.'.,-.t ' A timid flutter at nurpreyea, " A half a aoore or inor of . .. - Koins tider word pot ever wvy - . Call forth appropriate repjeyeij L. Willie rountlena kliutea eiuplimtfye - -.t Then to a dollar atore he hey,e; ". A ring that look tike gold be beyea? HArk to hi rhartner'he quickly flerea, ' 4.- Upon her dlglta put the preyea, ' . With rapture he cannot dUgpyea, "' , And thlnka he'a hainty; we aurmeyea. -"Klrvatftfjltitilieay Journal. t ORSERjVANT "BRUDDKR QARDNEI " I)e tig sunflower may rUe, above De inodeat Mater 'vine, ... , And brag about hla Sunday clotbea" I ' And, j? ut on air wTflne Hut when de Winter- howla around, And tie anow Ilea at.de doah, I)e big aunflower, oh I where ant bet r" Ie Mater haa de floMh." ( A XVER'H l'lIILOMOritYTT 'The' nlghf'wua' beginning to 'lower; My heart waa o'er! udenf with woe; I climbed the ateop atepa of a tower, .- Jtud guxed on the city "below. r Falne glel.t . I would leap thro' the distance, rs lown,down to the cruel atonea whirl, Rut a man only hath one existence, . And the wide world hath many a girl PROPHETIC HISTORY.' "VThenrreald'eii t "A rt h ar to led thla Inud,- Hffwas-agoodty-chtef ; ; ; He put In Jail the atar route band. And bung ach treasury thief. LltehJUUt Monitor, -r- A CORN DOIKJER." ; - i There was a young girl from Bordeaux, "With eorua.on-her little, pink teauxf , Thejr.gave her audi pain " The tears raullke rua Down the bridge of herelegant neaux. J,Ier lover a youth fnm Cologne-?' Fled wildly. and . left heralognels ' When he found thatjjef feet : , With corna were replete; With nevera word he had floghe. .' . ; They aent for a doctor from Lynn. "T . Aa ahlnlng and neat as pynn ; He looked at her teaux, The source of her weuux, . . And Indulged In a gratified grynn. II prescribed for this maid from llordeaux, . And cured all her little pink teaux ; And now It Is aald They two will Im wald, -And from aorow and grief And repose. - . THK MAD. MAD Ml'HE. Out on the margin of moonshine land Tickle me, love, In these lonesome vlba . Out where the whlng-whang loves to stand, Wrltlngjils name with hla tail on the sand, . And swiping It out wHh-til-4iogerlsh hand Tickle me, love, la. these lonesome ribs. ' the-Tfi blier of gungs and kkst- TIcTrle me, love. In these lonesome ribs Or what'ls the sound that the whlng-whang seeks, Crouchlng'low by the winding creeks. And holding his breath for weeks and weeks T Tickle me, love, In these lonesjime. ribs. i " . .' ' ? r . .. Anoint him the wealthiest of wralthy things I , Tickle me, love, In these lonesome rtbs ' TIs a fair whlug-whangess wlthfbosphnr rings, -And bridal Jewels of fungs and stings, " And she sits, and as sadly and softly sings. As Hie mildewed whirr of her own dead wings. -Tickle mejlear; - -"f " . ; Tickle metiers i ... . .-Tickle me, Jove, Jn my lonesomS ribs t tiob Burdrttf,.afler Swinburne. IlUMANIf AIR-GOODS All Kind of Ladieg Front Piecei, Scalpettet, ..- ,'. Wivfel and XfonUgiiea, in Natural Curly Hair L i The most complete stock of ' II XJ M A. IV HA I It 0,0 O r S ! " , ' -, .In the Northwest. V10-W0RK A SPECIALTY. -Wi TLJEVa, 333. a.w ,A00, T No. 04 Morrison Street, Portland. COIN 18 THE GREAT LUBRICATOR or BiautESM. XS EXCIIAXOE TnEREFOR, : - - . - "... . HIM CO THE PRINTER Is prepared to execute all manner of work In hla line and The most frequent place where ainUiwI bianUies lu the most satisfactory manner. Try him. rorget not the pn Wsklasrta KtrMi, SfwrtlasMl. Macat Inea and Musle Rooks bound In the best stylea." IiPgal Blanks of all kinds for sale, and Catalogues aent on appltcaHoni..,. - felOU sruR mm Ji"a ak3 ctiAKiawm Ht'llADI sY CO.. . 9W Third atreetPtC Salmon "an"3 TayTor; rrfIsn;t)"regoi. Ilka, Velvets, Utlea ireasea. tlaaks, MaaUIIss, reaiken . aa wests lletklag . . Cleaned and Dyed In any Shade or Color. Nj, - Thr3 - Northwestern Marriage Insurance Go. OF PORTLAND, OREGON. - iNhHirojuTKnuxDKit iw laws of oreoon. - 's-' , Charter Perpetual Capital, SI 00,000.00. rtSr.twT" . . OFFICER8 1 CHAHLlHEGELlrrestdettte :T JAME KTKEU Treasurer. c . vv HENltV ACKEHMAN, Vice-President "ATB. ORO.SS, Secretary and Manager. . DIRECTOR8 1 'J. WrWl I A ImLEY; of the law firm of Whalley, Fechhelmer A Ach. 'HENRY A4?KKHXlAN, of Hi Ackerman A Co., Wholesale Crockery, etc. -MF HTEEU Cashier FlrsOJatlonal Bank. -' - H. JULU'8 MEYER, of Fleokensteln.A Meyer, Wholesale Liquors. I CHARLES HEGELEy-of Alisky A Hegele, Wholesale Confectionera. - 1OLICIEH OF FROM ONE THOtTHAND TO TEN TIIOCHAND DOLLARS) EACH IHNUKD TO UNMARRIED permms of giMxi moral character upon payment of an aunual premium of $5 on each thousand for males under 19 and females under IS; and frt per yeitr on each thousand for all alve those ags, for the Unit four years; after which only II iter thousand will Im chanted during unmarried life. In addition to these annual premiums, and commencing next Febrtiury, n monthly rate, graded according to nge, will also he levied uiMtn eHch UKW of Insurance, vis.: X all under UyurM,2ciUsJJ years.! cents; Li years. W cents; It years, .7 cents; l.t years, S5 cents ; iri years, II IS j 17 years, IX at W years. It 3ii 1 years. SI ft); 'Ji toiyeant, l ft) ; 25 to .t years, II 7 : and all above Si years, 13 00 per month. Jht- ttotUttK pulU'lii's of iu or Icms are not, undvr pain of forfeiture, allowed to marnr within six months front the date of niif-h Mllt'y, and t hi we lioidlmc imi) Iclus of a irreatrramouatlhaji I Vtare not al lowed to marry within the first year. IVtllrle are piiyahle nt the end of tfie year in which marriage occurs at the rate of 2ft per eenl for every year from the date and amount of m lev. after which, all further 4nteret ccasea. For example;- A, who Is ti years old. takes out ST policy AtnriiHt t, forSltks). puylnv SH. on the flint of Feiimary following he commences; paying monthly does of II hi, and then marrhn. It Im'Iiiu six Mtonths from the dale of his olley f he still continues to pay It M) per month on til the tlrxt of AiiKi)Ht, IHKi. when he re-lves one-fourth the amount of his policy, less four annus! premiums, leaving him fiM net, havliiK only pnld out 115, nd hi. Mlcy Is I lien canceled. B Is of the same age, and takes out a like policy at the ssme time, but mnrrlc the second year, and receives twice s. much aa A did.. V takes out a like pollev.and marries) the third year thenHfter, re4ivliig three times as much lHneflts as A, or three-fourths the amount of hla Inaurance. Dalao lakes out a slmllnr policyytmt- full to nutrry until the end of the fourth year thereafter, when he receives the full mount, IliXM. K toon out a tMtlicy of at the same time, paid five times ks much premiums and monthly duea, but recclvt:d,.Nccordiiig to date of marriage, five times aa much benefits ; and soon for any other age. or amounts. Fartlcs residing where no agency has yet been estatill.hed may procureipollclea by sending direct to the home offloe or ivearcNt agency, giving ilate and place of birth, and at the .ame time remitting by money order, rcglatered letter or check I-' or Iri. according to age as stated above, for each IHMIof In.urance deslrtd. t'ontracls made on the present basis will not le nlfccled v hii v lilttli-r THtemf monthly dues which may hereafter le deemed liecesiiary. TlrhTTsTiureTy a Tioine iiixlUiitlon, and tl)e. namenof the officers, directors and references given In circular, with Its stock eapihtlHMW a MitUiUutluuru4iitit:xiX.lU perfei:trpllHblllty. .' ; Knergetlcni:ents"wBiitel everywhere. All authorised acnta are under bonds, and carry Ihelrcommlsslons with them; Aa to the fetiNUillltytof this plau of Insurance and the ability of the company to promptly meet all its engagements, or for any other particular), address .. - - A. 5. CROS8. 8eOret.ary. Homk Orrn-K ltoim &I, t'nlon Block (entrance on Mark street, Portland; Oregon. , N O T I C E T O M l IjIj I N E U S . We are now opening our ..or.. MILLINERY GOODS! IMPORTED DIRECT -FJROM THE EASTERN HANI77ACTUEEE8. Special Inducements Offered to MUllnen 8tartisf Bualnei. The Freahna of pur Coode and the ttivypnoea must tlon of all Cloae Buyers rajsiMrw Atten- LEWIS & STRAUSS, 'XQtX"r3BriertQx,tr ESTABLISHED (807. -T. SHINDLER A CHADBQURrJE, Manufacturers of Furniture, : IdtALJtRJLIS, Carpeto, Furniture KVlirrorG. Bed- ding, etc 1 SdllOOLDKSKS AXrJPECIALTY. - tSTHontl lot Cntulofruo find Trloo-LtMt."wt Ware-rooms extend through 90 feet, from Flint to Front streets, between Morrison and Yamhill, l"ortland, Oregon. J . V A N B E U lip E N , "? No. 107 Pint Street, Portland, 6r." " " Diamonds, Watcheo, - Jewelry, Silverware. a- 'ArriTal of a beantiM selection of newest deilgns in ererjr line. Prices below all competition. Importations direct from Europe and the East Special Attention called to the collection of Pine Diamonds and New Honntings ael5 jossrn BvaxnAKn. PACIFIC '', MORTON M. SPACLMKO. MARKET. BTJE lhArTj Butchers and Paokers, And Dealers In All Kinds of F REX 1 1 AVO CURED ME ATM, BACOK.IIAMB LARD, 3Band 37 B Street, Corner of Second, rOltTIiATI V,' OREftOJfr- Hpeclal Attention given to Mupplytng Hhfps. ' salt U .A . Northwest corner Front and Alder streets, . Is the. Only Usee In Portland where you can get ENLARGEMENT OP OUR QTORE. OLDH Mm. laa First Mi ...DKALEE IK CROCKERY, GLASS AND PLATED WARE, r - Tho Celebrated "Hcc" OIL THUROTATtlOiTAURANTrrKr- J V they are now located In their New and Knlara-ed hv hoom, adjoining their old stand, and Invite the Inspection of the pu bile. . , " Bsyl ' ,t .1 most remarkable fulfillment. All work warraated. - Jyl UOOD BQUAII MEAL TOR It CIXTfc TJOE IIOOE PILLO.