Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (May 14, 1898)
Eugene City Guard. I. L cam I'll em.. Proprietor. IT70KNK CITY 0RKC1ON The spanl-h color appropriately nro red and yellow- blood and cowardice. The Kmperor of China In known aa the brother of the mm, but ho U not "no wuk" ' No matter wMch diplomatic shell poor old China ilckM up, the pen will not tie under It. It isn't the Olcatlul's game. Minister I'oIo'h statement that nil American newspaper men should be bunged la too sweeping. There are hi III a few exception. Mr. Moody nay It Is easier to con vert n man thiin to convert a woman. Who doubt It? There I M much more from which to convert a man. Down In Kentucky a bank cnhler ha Ihi'H convicted tiinl denld a new trial. If a poor defaulter who can't atetil enough to protect hluiHelf. "Do American wive coumUIi-t their husbands nuri'ly a bread whmentV" us Its a LoodM paper. If the American wife la Wedded to an English Juk-' H"-' dOMD'L A Maryland man uddenly died the other day while IhiikMiik heartily at a Joke. The dlpatche do not tell wliat the Joke waa, but It mUHt have been perfectly killing. A California thief wild til plunder for M and with the money .aid on honest debt. A s.siti an the moral of thl Incident ha been Mtudled out It w 111 be duly announced. The other day a coroner" Jury re turned a verdict that "the decedent came to hi death by Is-lug Hlnick by a ml I road train In the hunda of a re ceiver." That must bo u deadly wciiikjii. A Washington scientist wanta all American sutaddlury coin made of nickel, lieciiUHc they would bo "durable and velvety to the touch." There' the rub! What l really ticcdtsl la a culu that I hard to the "touch." "Kver alnce 1 wa a child," remnrk Mrs. France llislgson llumett, "I have felt an overwhelming ctiac of rcaponal blllty for the universe." IVrhapN that la why Mr. Ilumtt ha grown tired of assuming the reioulbUlty of a bus bund. A cnndhhlte for tl fflcit of Clover nor lu a Southern Statu ha a single plank In his platform: "Simple, una dultcmtcd, unpurehneublo, unbiilldoz able manhood." An UOtUMl working tu in ma ry for every one, candidate or voter. Tin1 extraordinary safety of the mails la Illustrated lu the hlritory of the Hound Robin of the class of '41 Yale, which In gfty three yinrs of travel across the continent one hundred and tlfly time ami Journeyed more than live bUItd fMl thousand miles without once boJBg lost. Spain has DOW a population of about 111,11,1111 people, and of these. accord lug to a recent report of the Spanish Government, nearly B, 000,000 profess no occupation. QrandOM and beggar alike disclaim the plebeian virtue of dally toll. There are nearly 100,000 registered beggars, half of 1 1 la 'III fe male, lu this poor lltle land, nml OD0 third of tin1 entire population I entire ly unlettered. The "ancient social canker" of Contempt for work and w orUer has eaten the life from Spain. One man with a brace of pistols and the Inclination to use them put to night the bandlti who itopped n train lu New MtMtlCO the other week. Here 1 ih'W Hiiixrt for the theory that n little ordinary OOUCagC dlsplayisl by passengers, train crews and express messengers will furnish all tussled pro tOCtloU against (he rllllluus who so oftOO MKCOOd In duplicating on laud the achievements of the old sea rover. Tin-re Is not the faintest excuse for tho docility almost Invariably shown when trains and stages are attacked. One result of the lliianclal depression one of (he gissl things that ofU'11 conic out of evil has Iss-n the back to the laud mcveineiit among urban pen pie. The Illusions that drew thousands from the farms to the cities have DOM hnttcrcd by the hard conditions eu tnllisl by the panic. The vital, ever present, lliixscapilble necessities of life lire bread and butter, and these the city can glc only at Second hand. Whatever storm may strew the Indus trial sea with wreck, food, shelter and clothing are assured io the man on the farm, while the Idle workman of the city must walk the streets lu vttiu search for work. It has long Iss'ii the fashion to pluce upon menu and dinner curds ikrtfhtW and quotations to suggest topics of con Verm ttMi but Parisian lumtiwea have adoptisl an oppOOltg COtUaa, Their form ula reuds. "While sitting at table, peaking on the subjivt of the Hre.vfus quest loii Is forbidden." In like fashion Oatketine II once poatctl on the walls Of the 1 lei milage: "It Is forbidden to have an III tempered air, to exchange unkind word, to ssitk III of any MM whatever. All quarrels must la left at the thsir w ith hat ami sword." How beautiful to Is' a dictator: Yet even In this land of free sHcli, the IK Lome ladtacrethai suggeata the wisdom of dictatorship over one's ow n tongue. Illinois was the second State In the production of coal last NU, the total nradnet iing imttm ton, rntned at the mine at fU.tT'J.oSl. or an aver age of 72 cents a tou. Pennsylvania st.ssl at the head of the list, wl(h a prodnel af M.fWjffW tons of brtnml nutia. valued at taT.taM.tvat, Kri average COSt Of 70 Cents a ton at I lie in 'li, -s It Will surprise people to learn that West Virginia stands third In .tutl prediction of all (be t'uncd Statist, her total reach log 13.050. U7 (ous. valn.sl at tH.(K17.(U7. an average of (VI cents a ton at the mines, which was the lowest of any Stale lu the I iron. Ohio cm I cost an average of 7N cents, and. although (he total w as 1.3t0,U00 tuna lee than was mined In Weal Virginia, It sold for near ly $l,liO,oiO more money. Alain ma tandN number live In the order of pro ductlon. Then come Iowa, Maryland and Indiana. Coal I mined In twenty nine Mates and Terrllorb-a, and the national product lat year waa I'-'- . 78M ton. valuel at $r.W,0!H,7(r7, or Mil ly $1 a ton at the mines. Of thla f.Z 1 408 toil wa anthracite, produced lu I'euiisylvnula alone. The average coat of mining anthracite waa fl.HA a Ion, and the average coat of bltumluou wa 81 cent. Out In Oregon they pay f.'i.ll a ton for iiiIiiIiik coal. In .ebraka f.'l.iW and In California The Increase In the touting,, wtit out hint year wa a little mon than .'I M-r cetil., while the anthracite product decreased nearly ",:0,UUU tona. Amendments to the Constitution of the I 'lilted Htate. frequently pTOpOWd by thisaists and visionaries, Heldoiii command enough uprt to reii-lve rlou con side rut Ion. There I a sound conservatism, which fortunately I pop ular, ftfnlfrft mishlllng with the text of that historic Instrument which I the great charter of our Institution. There I now upon the calendar of the Senate, however, a Joint resolution, which has rorclvod the favorable report of the Judiciary OOBIHlMat. and which has iM'hlnd It the force of Its provision for a possible exigency. This amendment, which It Is ppipoxcd to submit to tint IcgUdutiire of the several Stales for their approval, Is floolgliod to misd the contingency of the death of n I'resldeiit cloct, Is-twisii the time when the ebs- toral college casts Ms vote, early In .Itiu uary, and March 1, the date of the In auguration. t present, there I no pro vision by which another President could Is.' elected, and Congress has no authority to supply the dcllclcncy. Tho rroaldent-tdect occupies a piwltlon of pftCOlhxr refsnslblUiy ami of smslble danger. Had the plot to ussu1nulo btnooln at Baltimore on hi way to Washington succoedisl, there would have Iss'li no legal iiiethisl to CDOOM Ida suceet.sor and a state of iiiuirchy would have preceded the civil war. Had Blaine bee i aomtnaUod by the tftnneap oils convention and elis-ted, there would have DOM a similar dilemma, as his lamented ibiith OOOOTBd on Jan. 99, Four Presidents of the I'ulted Slates have dhsl within a few wis'ks after their Inauguration. It would Mem, therefore, entirely wise to confer In ex press terms iis,n Congress the power to "provide for the case where there Is no peieoa wtitted to hold the office of I'resldeiit or Vice President, declaring What oMcer shall then act as Proal dent." The constitutional lawyers of Congress may split hairs to tln-lr Imiliis' COOtettt over the precise form and lan guage of this amendment, but Its ptir isise Is a plain ns It nissl Is obvious. on the shores of North Lnboc, a little town In eastern Maine, there has been established an enterprise that Men! to suggest limitless possibilities. It Is a "plant" for extracting from sea water, by a secret process, the single grain of gidd which every ton contains. Since the undertaking Is novel, nil the appll aOOaa are necessarily crude; lull even How the yield of gidd Is said to lie re niUnefntlVO, As a business proposition It seems, at llrst thought, an absurdity to "treat" u ton of water for tin- lake of a grain of gold. Manifestly, bow ever, the elilerpi 'UM ITOUM I"' subject to the same general Condition! that de termine, any, the ndi Isahlllly of iiiln tug low grade ores. Ami the marine miner. If we may so speak, has the ad Mintage of tin exhailstless "claim;" for the total inns of sea water I estlmal ed at nearly one and n half million million millions tuns. The new expert Went Is not only Interest lug lu Itaolf; It Is slgiilllcaut, as a probable prelude to othet effort to recover the riches i held lu tills mighty reservoir. No one but the scientist can comprehend the wealth of the waters and even he lies Hates to attempt to measure It. Itut lie Is able to mime, In addition to gold. more Hum twenty valuable compo llelits of the ocean sal!. These, besides the chlorides and sulphides of sodium, magnesium, potassium uu, calcium, which are the principal components, Include nreeulc, lithium, rubidium, cm slum, silicon, boric acid, bromine, lo dine, fluorine as acid, and the oxides of nickel, cobalt, manganese, aluminum, zinc, silver, lend, copper, barium and strontium us basic compounds Should circumstances ever seem to cull for the null. hi. .ii of these treasures, science will Hud the way. It Is likely, Indeed, that long before (he need of them arises, commercial enterprise will have been attracted to this hew Held of ex ploltatlon Which Is capable of adding so largely to the wealth of the world. There have bevu pessimist who argued that In the distant future In creasing population might exhaust natural resources. They did not real l.o that man has but Just begun to get acquainted With hi dwelling place. The sea, a well a the hind, may some day satisfy all the needs that are known to the present age, and meet new demands of which we do not even dream. The Omen nf ico. At Jlddiih 111 Arabia, the Mohaiiitm dans locate the grave of Pve. A small tempi.-. Utterly OUt Of proportion to the Moslem conception of the llrst woman (they plain she was HO fis-l I .-ill Is erected almve the ashes. The structure Is In tad repair, nut If It mined often lu Arabia, Mother F.vo would have a rather damp resting place. As It is, a big pnln tree has forced Its way through the room. The sst Is (he DtCCCO Of a seven j car pilgrimage. ou June 8, which is alleged to be (he anniversary of the death of M. the disirs of (he temple remain Open all night. Ou that night the spirit of P.vc mourns for the loss of her miinl. rcl sou. In fear and trembling the pll grim listen to awful sounds of la mentation emanating from the tomb. There arc usually In the throng one or two scoffers, who claim to rccogtilic the voices of the priests In the doleful walls, but their opinions do not carry j j weight with the majority. "Nop." said Mr. Ibvkwell. aa he Wiped hi glasses. "I'm afruht John's ' college education ain't gxiln' to do him ' much good, after all." 'Why, Mian," his anxious wife triad, "what makes 1 you say that?" "He admitted In the ' store yesterday (hat there was still a i few things I knew more abou( than ' him."- Cleveland U-oder. Cupid Introduces more house bills . tuau all our Cougreaauieo. HATS OFF I nt off! Along the street ther comes A blare of bugles, a riiOh' drama, A flash of color beneuth (In- k; lists off! Tint 11. i g Is passing by I r nino and crlm in snd white It shines, Over the steel tipped, ordered line. lints off! i The colors la-fore us fly; Hut more than the Hug is passing by. Hea fights and land fights, grim ami great. Fought to make and to sare the state; Weary marches, and sinking ships; Cheers of victory ou dyiuf Hps; Psys of plenty and days of peace; March of a strong land's swift Incrense; E'l'lnl Justice, right and Isw, Stately honor and reverend awe; Hign nf a nation, great and strong ' To ward hsr people from foreign wrong; I'ride und glory and honor, all IJve lu the colors to stand or fall. Hals off! Along the street there comes A blare of bugles, a ruflle of drum, And loyal hearts are heating bigb; lists off! The flag Is passing byl Youth's Companion. AN ARTISTIC ENDING. Hi: sun Nhoiio under her hat and made her abode her eyes with her hand, u she lookis) up ut me, atandlng by the edge of the river, "Now, Mr. Omway," hImj said, "ure you j ut to sure you can manage a anotl" "I'll promise you n new frock, Mlae Delia, If I Bpae4 you," sold I, gallantly. "lkin't la- rash," she laughed; "per hap I'll think u new frock well worth a wetting." "I KiM If 1 up et v.. II," I replied; "If you upsot yourself, 1 cry off thu bur guhi." "I'm sure you'll never bo so mcun as to argue the -uuse of Uie damage," Mid DeMai "anyway, I'll risk It." "1 feel a little afraid." rihe said, as I gave her my hand to help her ulsianl. I am liiellmsl to Uilnk, however, (hat her licsitatlon wus nut altogether due to nervousness, but was u little I u tl tl mead I'y (lie fact that she has the pret tiest little feet lu the world und was wearing I he very daintiest of brown hoe, which eDOWOd to the bent advan tage, on she sbssl lu timid uncertainly, one foot on nhorc and one slsisl oter the canoe I confess the attitude was fascinating to me, more especially as It necessitated a Very distinct pressure of my steadying hand. I was the more convinced that iho timidity was uffecttsl when she even tuully settled herself among tile cush ions lu the Isiw of the canoe, for all the world an If to the manner horn. In deed, as I slopped warily In the center of the craft I u ii sure 1 was really the Uiore nervous of the two, but then I could Judge of my -liorteoinlngs as a canoeist fur la tter than she. "Now, then," I said, "are you tjulte sure you are comfortable'" She gave a last simsitb to the fold of her brown skirt, g.ive a little sit to tho sleeves of her white blotire, and lay back against the red cushions with u sigh of content, "Yes," said stie, sweetly; "1 am ready." 1 let go the luft of RTasa to which I hud been clinging, panned off gently With my paddle, ami we were fairly float, The sunshine sparkled on the water, the leave of tlM trees waved ever mi softly in tin. breoaci the bright colored dragon Hies darted hither and thither, while along I lie bank the Is-es Hew Inn fruldly from How or to How or. as If they only kept themselves awake by luces aunt bu..lug. "Isn't It delightful?" murmured lie Ma. it I, Indeed," I anaented, but would have done mi more truthfully If the DOW of (lie canoe had not displayed so great u reluctance to keep straight up the river. The epiaah of the water from the pad die was wonderfully soothing, und my fair companion chsosl her ejraa, Direct ly she did so, politeness no longer do barred me from gazing my till at her uplurms.1 face. 1 looked admiringly, taking mental utock of her charm. How softly her dark eyelashes swept her olns-k -how ciMpicltlshly curved her month -how dainty the suspicion of a dimple either aide her how delicately turned her chin how becoming the red cushion to her wealth of black hair yea, undoubt edly her nose was retrousse, but a tig for your stately Often' bi-autie! there I a fascination in the crash Into the bunk went the lw of the canoe, and the subject of my reverie opened her eyes w Ith the start. For the life of me I cannot steer a cam' and thtuk of something else at the same time. My the greatest g.ssl luck we were not upset. "1 am most awfully sorry," I atum- mered, "1 was tiiNtrly asleep," she said. "1 can't think w hat happened; It was dreadfully careless of me." "O, It realty doesn't matter." she re DHed, with a great go.s.1 nature. 1 paddled clear of the Kink and vow ed such a collision should Ml occur again. Hclla, however, made no fur ther attempt to go to sleep. "How smoothly the river run," she aid though (fully. "I'nllke the course of tme love," I added, rather weekly, It was not a very apposite remark, but then I knew the topic of hive waa a dangerous one for nie, ami so. foolhar dy, I courted It, as the moth the candle. There was a pause In the con versa Hon) while I successfully negotiated a iu. Men band In the river. "It's a great pity. Isn't It?" gajjfl He lta. "What Is?" I lunnlred. "Why, that the course of true hive never runs smooth." "O, but It does sometimes, really." I aaerted, lappaaa Km lore nml reaiiy true, then," said she. "Nowadaya, books and plaje m arly always end unhappily.' "O. well." said I, phlbwopblcally, "there are two aorta of love; there Is a passionate love, full of presentiment. which makes a man morbid and melaa choly, and forces him a thousand times to cure the fate that bringa It to him bet Uila aort of lovo U too lofty for a , workaday world, and the only artistic .' ending In a tragic one. . . a a ,,..11,. n.tUT -, . I i am airani i ism-o mwm " again by holding forth In tnl way, but she ouly gave I be polltfel poaalMn yawn, aa she said, "And what about tho oliier?" "The other," I went on, taking care to watch (be course of the MDOn, "Is a tender pustoral love, which makes a man cheerful and take rosy vlewa of life, causing him to thank heaven ev ery day that such a love ha fallen b) bis lot, aud the artistic ending Is wed ding Ml and domestic happiness." Delia baa the sw.stest gray brown eyi-s, and It U an extraordinary pleas ure to loot Unto then longer than is ac tually ncceaaary while listening to. or making, a remark; only, ejs-aklng f artistic endings made me fed quite cer tain there wus a more artUtlc ending lo such u look than mutually to drop our eyes. I wa Just thinking aliottt this, and how very graceful some girls bik lu a canoe, when, like a f'l. I let my puddle catch lu n weed. I enih-uvon-d aa geu tly aa possible to extricate It, but Iho wistsl proved obstinate. Delia grew nervous und snt up In the ciiimh'. "O, pleaoo be careful, .Mr. Conway," she cried. I pulled a trifle harder, but to no najipgna, Then i lost patlenoe. I gnv the pndtfjg a sharp Jerk, the WOOd gave way all too suddenly. Delia gave a lit tle scream, ami I clutched wildly at the side of the canoe lu a vain attempt to keep my balance. ... It was ull over lu a moment, and when I any all, I Include Delia, myself, and the canoe. j Fortunately, we were close to the Iwtik ! and the water waa shallow. I scram- bled ashore und heliKsl Dellu ou to dry land us U'st I could. "Iteally, Mlsn Dellu," I sutd. feeling unutterably fisdlsh, aa I caught tin painter of the canoe and rescued t'c floating puddle, "I'll never forgive my self for this; I wish you were u man und could swear at nie." "What an awful fright I must look. snld ssir Delln, putting back her wet hair from her face. I murmured of "Venus rising from tho se;t," but IndlstliK-tlj', suddenly doubting the propriety of the allusion. "Dent forget your bargain, Mr. Con way," said she, rihaklng the water from her Isslragghsl skirt; "will you order the frock or shall I aud scud you lu the blur I know it wn not n very suitable oc casion to do anything so serious ns make an offer of marriage; also, that It wa a very prosaic way of putting It, but. npon my word, I couldn't help It. "I wish you would give me the right to pay your bill," I an Id. Delia bluxlnsl and then he laughed. "I dou't think I mind If I do," hu said. We were both very wet and lth very muddy, but 1 hsikcd Into those nfore nientloiusl brown eyes, ami this time she didn't turn away, for I discovered the more artistic ending- I put my arm round her waist and kissed her. Ma- dnma Miss Kinma Thursby, the oiuv fn MOM singer, owns a minor bird, whoaa health i oarefuuy Inquired after by Ml Thursby'H friend, lu fact, a child of the household could not receive more attention. Minor waa given to Miss Thursby In QartnaUy, lie I a plain, black little fellow, with a yellow licnk. ami ha the entire run of the unit MB! In which Mis Thursby lives. What he lacks In Is'iinly he makes up In Intelligence, but his humor must al ways lie consulted. W hen It pleases Mm be will sit on the ruck of the piano, sing snatches from "Romeo and .lull et." trill beautifully, and make Imlta Hons of the banjo. Minor Is full of par tlnllty. and culls "cranky, crankv" to those whoso appearance Is nut to hl taste. He also Is devoted to children. nml when those that are rlaltlna Mlaa Thursby go away be takes It as a ht Konal Injury and sulks for n long time. Colonel Hubert (1. IngereoU deem the dog to 1k the natural servant and Companion Of man. To Ids favorite dog Husk the Colonel communicated much of bis Intelligence, and the dog respond cd to him a to no one else In fact. It was rather it Joke among the Colonel's friends Hint Husk knew Is-tter than to exhaust his gray matter on any but hi muster. Husk, as he grew old, wus great ly troubled with rheumatlam in hi shoulder, so that he found going up stair painful to him He would, there fore, walk totbeelcviitorln the colonel' ok) bourn on Fifth avenue ami wait patiently for some one to come ami pull him up. During the lust three years of hi life he wa attended regularly bv n dog doctor, and when he dhsl hi funeral wit n large one. lie w as taken by the family up to their summer home at IHibh'a Ferry and laid at rest In a beautiful sot overlook tag the Hudson HI grave I uow market) by a pretty tombstone. Richard Croker, of New York, the fa mon Tammany lender, in com moo with many Other well known men. has a fondness for pets. His selctlon of them also show bin to Ih w ithout u paratttton, for be I especially iartlal to a parrot, and a black cat. and ihvlaros tint, although the parrot I tmnpoaod to lie Inhabited by an evil spirit. It Is au amusing bird. The parrot which Mr. Croker owns Is rery remarkable. He paid HBO for her and uauil her Kate, In harmony with her gay, dash gag personality. She slugs, duties. Is nMjMttllh, and ha a keen sense of hu mor. Backlog the uunl repertoire. Kate sings as her piece do resistance sweet Maria." giving it the true lata nation of devotion. Neither does Mr. Croker agree with the M..n prevalent In Uermauy about black eata. Where they are ahminod as omeus of evil, exs.'lallj If they pns the cradle of a shvplug child, and are supposisl to foretell the approach of death by appearing at the bead of a sick person. To Mr. Croker a black cat suggests success. In the days of old Tammany Hall one was always to he seen prowling alsmt. and as guardian ) of the good luck of the place was treat cd with the utmost coiishteratlyn. The the eipert boxer of the uelghborbood. cat nppn-ciai,s. III po-ltlon and was PENSIONERS' COMPLAINTS, some of the Oarer letter Received br the Kuieau. A good many nm-er letters are tW reived at the pension office, nearly all of which are tucked In the flJOl which contain papers rclutltig to a mllllou cuwh ruys the Washington Htar. lome time ago u widow who had worked bard to get a pension became posescd of the Idea Ihat the postmis tress of her town was her enemy. He I the letter she wrote the Commla iloncr of PetiNlona: "I WU taj ya how old sojer WldOWl are tretcd by our BadbodOd pontmlstrla she are only fourthclasa anyhow, and keel a stoar redenge ull the postal curds & letter too, which we cunt not get our imper tel he have the sumo red herself. She report to Com. Pen loua that my hul n died of devilment Wteh are a lie be die of the army an he war more plouser then our Hcdhcded postmlstrlH." A Katisu man write the penslou of Boa the following: "I ws by the uewapnpatl that you say you are going to try to get Congri'w to put a atop to the present opportuni ties which the luw offers o women to secure pensions for life from the Pulled Suites bv marrvlna an old soldier. What the devil do you mcun. sir? Do you want to lose your scalp? Of course you will be opposed. We were assured lust full that In case of McKluley's elec tion, his administration would lie friendly to the old vets, und BOW you propose to deprive muuy of us of our only chance of helping to perpotonta u r.ne of heris's, and the pleasure of eventually Is lng pottisl to death by a nice young woman. Do you thtnk the people will tolerate such an outrage? "Hut, my dear sir. If you must ni-om-meml such a law, can't you make an exception of old bachelors- that's n gisid boy? Two of my dear neighbor and myself settled here In the wllder ms .it the close of the war and when the country Iss-nnie settled leu year later we hud 'lost our grip.' I am 68 years old, und the other fellows are past 50. "And uow, O comrade! do not, I pray tht-i-. attempt to deprive us of our only nope to over securing the consolation so necessary to gladden our thrilnlng years. For of course, you know there I nothing uhout old fellow like 0UT- Mlvet to Induce young women to inurry uh If they cannot get a penslou." I n - and Ml lit... In the choice of texts and hymne clergymen Hud It necessary to exercise considerable care, less they give of fense to some of their hearer. Hut lu the pood duy when ministers were nc Cttetomed to preucb nt their tlocka rather than to theni they did not hesi tate to choose text which conveyed plain home truth. There Is n goisl story (old of u Highland mlnlHter who wtl bidding farewell to bis Hock. He told them that then- Wtl little lore of Ood among them, for Qod hud tukou none of them to Himself since he cutnc among themj that there was very little lOTO among themselves, for tbOTO had I io marriages since be enmo to tho district; and that there was very little love of their minister, for his stipend wus small, and they had not Increased It by a mny. He was leaving them to become chaplain ut Inverness Jull, und he would now proceed to Id text: "I go to prepare it ptaci for you." A cleric who wits uliout to wed on the Sunday previous to his marriage preached an ehspient sermon from the text: "lie went on his way rejoicing." On the following Sunday he had appar ently changed hi tune, for hi text ou that occasion wa. "Oh. WfOtehod man that I uiii." At the next ineetlutr of the Presbytery he WU severely Chaffed by hi clerical brethren, but thought to get the Is-tter of them by quoting the text, "I wish that all men were not ul moat, but altogether, uch as I ant." A ptlck w lttts.1 brother, however, uddisl to the hilarity of the meeting by cry ing out, "Finish your quotation, Mr. C , 'Except these Isind.' " On one occasion a minister happened to give out ns his text the words, "He glveth His beloved sleep." Usiklng alOOnd the congrega tion, and obcSI'llng a considerable number of the nwnben already nod ding, be suddenly stopped and said. "Hrethren, It Is hard to realize the tin- bounded love which the Lord appean to have for a large portion of this cou gregatlou." Teacher Bttifted (be Topic. The Sunday school teacher Peached 11 point IO the lesson w hen hud she was dwelling upon the future reward of Hume who Is'luivisl proH'riy here, when the audacious small Imy, who fnspient tiioct Sunday cbiil, sjsike up ami naked if nil good people went to heaven. "Ccnainiy," replied hi teacher, Well, has my gTunduiothor gw heaioti?" perslettsl the youngster. "Stindy she has, my Imy, f h,. n gi woman. M to ana nana t, declared the loving youngster; "there she Is there"' fit II over The teacher turned to other phases of the lesson. Coiigreguttonallst. Women' lUIr Inprvrtng, It Is now said that women's hair Is becoming more beautiful in color every year, and N No growing thicker and longer. Thl I said to he due to the mall, light honneta tht women wear (Yrtaln It is that ulr and sunshine Im prove the color and texture of the hair Sun bleaches the hair, and Venetian beauties always dried their ruddv locks In the snu. thereby letting that "tint so much admired called Venetian red Of course sunshine w 111 not bleach dark hnlr. bin It gives a deeper color to all kinds ot m- , and win bright,.,, ami brown hnlr. iirt to the Qunn Queen Victoria has IICPiilif.k.1 Jnbll.s. gift from a urlvate ,u.s, , .......... I . 9 Nil' 1 signet ring of Qu.vti Mary 11.. wire 01 vtiillain III. The hetor gave her majesty the same col dlatnoud siKiici ring r H eltrletta MusU u-... . Charles l.'s rrnaen, ten years a. ' On the Molar Plr.. holly--lwn't Imagine whin ,.,., ne so atupld tonight me so MlilpM to ulght Mis (.'uttltig W,.n pm AIout the Is-st thing .llvaaltt 1.. .a .von ran , " ' "'at he works aa w.ll alouetuwheu be U watched. ' PROFITS AT MONTE CAHLtA .. Indicated by the l.oorinou I'rice of the Kninchle. One can form some Idea of tho enor mous prottts made by the gambling hell t Monte Carlo by studying the torraa on which the lYInee of Monaco lux cr.intisl a prolongation of the conces sion under which this Infnmoua estab lishment exist. The present coueoa Hloti expire In 1918, but the sharehold er think It wise to Insure a further eoncaaelon before that date. The terma, j which were preaented and rutlllod tho other day, are n follows: The o0,"o0 tor the concession, plus "O.OOO allowed for the expense of the government of the principality, are to Is. continued, together with the allow goa I for public works, lighting, umlu lommce of the Institutions, etc., amounting In all to another o0,000 or 60,000 per annum. In uddltlon. the CiiHlno Company undertakes to pay over Immediately to the Prince In bard cush the sum of 4U0,UU0, und further 1 to spend 2UO,KiO upon DUblk works 1 In the ibape of opening up new uve nues and treet In part of the princi pality, Indicated by the Prince; to spend MO,000 lu the const ruction of a new theater and opera house, thl to be completed in time for the exhibition of WOO; to hand over to the manager of the theater of Monte Curio 1,000 for each performance, thl sum to be spent exclusively In the payment of special artlata, the company to further bear ull the cost of the chorus, orchestra and scenery. Finally, the company under takes to pay over to the prince In cash 000,000 In the year 1M3, which was the date of the expiration of the old contract gruuted by the Into Prince I flharkn IX The Casino Company Is therefore culled uiiu to And uu additional um of l,itO,00O (without counting tho grunt to the manager of the theater) us thu price of the new concession. The Prince nlso luslsts upon having In fu ture a direct voice in the management of the concern. lie Is to be cousulted In the appointment of lth the mnn- uger uud directors of the Cuslno Com pany; he Is to havo the right to nom luute the manager of the theater; to bo consulted lu the engugenieut of the ur tlsts und the chef d'otchestrc, aud, most Important of nil, he Is to buvo control of the "publicity" department. The company spends about li.000 In "siuarlug" (he continental press uud putx-biislug Its bcuevolcut neutrality In the matter of gambling. The Prince In sists upon his right to Issue to these Jouruals which nre In the puy of tho concern such notes and paragraphs aa bo may thiuk proper, London Mull. Tho Lady and the Tortolo. Fearful and wouderful has Ixvn the decorative wear of woman everywhere through the nges. 8he has woru skew ers In Hie nose of her, rings on the toes of her. She has tied a snake uround her neck and tangled llretlles In her hair. Hut she has Defer, so fur as our record goes, served her lovely self up to us eu tortue till now. Hut now, It BM'Uis, tortoise Is going to be Inn sense her only wear. Of course, the tortoise she wears Is the live variety the dead. In this case also, would soon cease to Interest her. The live tortoise comes to her from the Lundos. It llrst pusses through the hands of her Jeweler tho Dnadorned tortoise Is not beautiful. Tho J m.ut bus as yot been deitee! ciunlik Jeweler ilts the tortoise with a filigree emit of mull studded with precious stones. The animal Is then secured by a Hue gold chain. The wearer attaches tho chain to nn ornamental hook In her dress, tirst taking a turn with It round her own neck. The resplendent tor toise then ftil tills Its mission by exhibit ing Itself 111111 the wearer's shoulders to the extent of Its tether; and thus enables lovely woman to exhibit her self at what, we should hope, will bo the extent of hers. It has struck the French Society for the Protection of Animals that to havo Its shell set thlcWy with precious stones, nnd to he fastened by n gold chain to the corsage of the wearer, must U distasteful, If not positively painful, to thu tortoise. I,ogal step hnve therefore bitm taken to put a stop to the practice; but the Jeweler and their fair clients will not yield without a tight. They assert that so fur from being Inconvenienced by enr- rjuig a row diamonds and rubles on its cumpnoe, the tortoise enjoys the distinction, and not being glveu to over much locomotion the chain has no ter rors for it, while auy little discomfort It stirrers is more than counterbalanced by dainty fare nnd good treatment London Pall m1I Unsette Cheap IrfHlglng Mouse. What the ultluiiitc effect of establish ing cheap houses for men In large cities will be Is u mutter for serious thoiiht The certainty of cheap and oomfort able living will stimulate the already trong tendency of village and agricul tural populations toward the cities and what does this mean but more 'nnd more uccesslou to the already over crowded ranks of workers, with the In evitable consequence of a lowering f wuges? Hsks Vogue. New York bus .,1 rvudy s,'u this cou.,iiHon brought '"'"( by the chief Bowery lodging houses; the drift city ward of ull el..,sso8 of workers Is uow so swift that the laborera In the vineyard are too u.r: ous. and the workers are In conso wuence t the mercy of capital. The problem to be detailed Is whether tho community and the nation ari. to Ih Isnllt.sl by this mitt! Ill 11 ir I UfO in the city. Many Intelligent work ers along sociological and Industrial lines condemn the cheap ho,,,,, for men ou two grounds: That It lowers warn and that It encourage celibacy. rroln Which It will Is. s,s,, that lu these ,h Of complex social conditions phiia'n hropy m,,ia tot, tempered by an ill teUlgent apprecntlon of the social rl q.ulrcments "t only of the time but Z classes as well. Po'lce aa Hhark Caiohera. Among the multifarious duties which dennnd the attentteo of the Calcutta POMC, ; the .capture of sharks In T0 HoofUj tlmis a place. Muring the past WOng years rewards huv,. Jg t the destruction of those martno '-"" eaters, and ns-ently . PWinnntltM down a scale for these payments. 1080 An Atchison man believes that If he should I go ,0 war. and be shot In th hack, he wdjrecelveheck pension The od founu,n wU, RESULT OFANART8T. iileo 10 u Haw y,,,,,,, after lrec-,l u'.i, "V A tho rail rnttn, gtyhahly (r corridor of an uptown 1,,.,' , " and watched the hum.. . . 'Mt; ' II !,, Wor,' trousers Irwr. ul ""'It iiiniiKMiisi mien nilster. " Ikt," wild the tall man, "'fMlirj. w,'"t I mn ouiy iin-sneq madly, b. U'lir.l 11,1,1 ll'll: ... . ., M na ...... .,,., . alltles of polite society. 1 ow.m lutlon to my proHout condi,!." witty artist, William Carroll" 10 "Was It Ids wit or his sM, helped you?" 11 "Ills witty comments mad,. mM)Hu. then act. ragbtorteuyearH,; and Hurrett were plavlng iuT1 gugouxmt ut a theater In this dt was a raw youth from Illiutrfl? ' earned ten dollars a week In nn u. lug house. Of course, I with letters of Introduction ami 1 met aonie exisdlei . N i for an orchestra wnt, exTHs-nni.'1 8 Joy u great treat, but It KM tl 1 mi it mi rr:mslrii' limn T My and tho woiitlu-r was tmimy u "My wunlnilK? wo m J tl 1 1 ( . n O'lfllllPil tl Uakl . . . 'I dnL.r MM II m , . '"I , innisors bagjw.. the knees, mid I am sure t pr(l).otJ anything but an edifying spetUclt 1 went In Just ns the orcbeatn btm', piay aim uinrciieu down the agfaj "The uslier eyed me In a iksh!I, and iiooplo I saw smiled at nje. jJ, aa soon as I was HoutH I notiisv rnenii nivirny nml bowl. II,. rncua noaruy nnrn bowed. He m uk uui uv-ver even retunktl my rsuuie. ijie uuiy WHD Dim I00U amused. I snw mver:il other who 1 ne uini iin-j HlllllitMs nie tl.r. atoly. In my Ignorance I coo, nit aglno what It all meant. I became coinrortaiue ami men polled off linen onawT, 1 wo men near nielaaf. wl, und I hmird one any: "Look at tk Juy with tlie cardigan jacket on. W. aer ir no Knows who Hbakapoui UT "Ik"twen the acts I wuJkid In lobby, but those who know uiearokU speaking to me. I became aware lag, ly that my clot lies w ere ngatut at The next day I -went to Carroll' via) ruvoa against snobbishness. 'Wij nun 1 wear uny aimi or clothn wttn- out being snubls-dr I asked, liu.it ply wus aplgrnintnntlei " 'Well, you cannot Iss'tiuse etabltj are stables und boudolni are h doirs.' " Tho Minute Parts of a Waick, The watch carried by the arerm man, says the Joweler' Kevler, composed of irlnety-elght plecei, 134 Its mauufjuTtutv emlirinvs more thu 2,000 distinct and separate optfatfcm Some of the smallest screw an a minute that the unaided eye cannott tlnjnrlsh them from sbs'l flllno e specks of dirt, I'nder n powerful aa nlfylng gluss a pcrtVvt screw ha! vealed, the silt In the head of traldH 2-l(XiOtlw of an inch wide. It tan 806)000 of these screws to wdpu pound. The hairspring Is a strip of the fia steel, alxnit nine and a half Inches kti 1100th of an inch wide, and 27-limaj of an Inch thick. The manufactmf thesu springs requires great still ui care. The strip Is gaug,sl toDO-lOWa of an Inch, but no mctwurliiy to of flue enough gimglng to drtermlne l fondiundby the size of tho BtripeWtle strength of the Uuislnd .spring rill in A 20-1000th tart of tin Inch dlfferrare In tho thickness of the strip natal difference lu the running of a waul it about six minutes au hour. Tho value of these springs, vphsoto- IshMl aud placed In watch,, U en mous in protsnrtlon to tho material ma waiich they are made. A eunuiattal will give a good Idea: A ton of d made up Into hairsprings, whtn h wnvtclM's, Is worth more than tr! nml a half times the value of the an weight In pure gold. Hairspring vto wtilglis one-ttwentleih of a grain W Inch. One nule of wire wdgha M than half a pound. Tlie balance gives Ave vlbrattoeiff cry second, three hundnsl every b ute, 18,000 every hour, 132.000 erfl ,ln nT.A 1 K7 IU1 AllO ovofV VtW -1 I each vllwatlon it rotate abontomaj t H ...I.I..I. ,.,l;,.s 1I7,I". ,1 10111 iu Linns, j 000 overv voar. If tills be conipainfj with a locomotive with six foot drKK whixds. It will be seen how stupewW is the amount of labor K'rforml these works. Lot t he wheels until they have given tho same rum of rcvolutlonn that a watch docs In your, and they will have covered lag tance equal to twenty-eight comi'W circuits of the cartli. Hr Theopv Offensive. A o-lrl vhn has theories litis til-19 her mind that of one of them, at l ! uli MII MW ncnln slsvlli In I'0'1 m--t- . . am. if -c aoanopoqy s ieu, uw i"" met au elderly but still youthnM Hearing man. who Is u power lu n1 r,. ., . 1 ,,n hair. mi a uv conversation iuiuoi v - -the hiolt of loiir. "Yon em, toil a mnii's character (f the way baldness begins with bla anuoiinccd the young woman t Ills I !'! 1 a .i.,i,. 4-ii,ii,iu imrliTtit Hl ..l .., nt th.. iTJW'll t head llrst." bald at l 'And suppose he grows tomiihvfl flrstr' iiskisl the eldenj f Ueman, whoso hair Is really 'llWS hang. J 'Ht ' o..l.l Ha t-,iitnir woman, I"" HnJv "lin'a n r, illtTel. tlt s-1". " ., t ..'. mon vho gre -l I", R 1 0 O i, (OflU .' - " , J nW,i l,l fnaiiliiiKM llrsf who Wtln utter scoundrel nt betirt." "Hot " lw.,in her listener. ..1. , .t my r.fil na"" VIl, lie 11111 couvi.o she went on. . ... . . .. .. o.on 1UB. ' mil ne s ti 01.0- j same. IXm't you agrc. with m' UH The elderly gentleman rose. voice trembled a little. -Young lady," he said. "I toupee." . Glass Umbrellas. . , ,...f.,r.. lotlE f'3' 11 is nitnorisi nun M( ...I 114' umbrellas will te in gene..,. --- Is, umbrellas covered m 1 bit ll spun glussclotn. 1 Dl H ; ufford no protection from . the sun. but they win 1 ; , ' .,,- that I tirf vious aiivaniage moo. can be botd'ln front of the fa . . ..( and SI meeting the winu ami r ". niu Hma Ika user will ''C awe ejgnVJ that he does not run Into unoi Individuals or lamp posts. Many a good reeolutioD ha bet'" 1 tared by a single "smile.' 1 ffjfj fgnl ' I