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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (April 30, 1898)
------- r w w- m I TRIAL BY FIRE. aud general nn.l wiiic old cap- the heroine In nicely read Hues talus who hold Hint IsnW'l Hntnp- was rejected i.r h..r -m, , . , , i ' ., . ' . " " 1vlievllOI ,u ...u i o.uu umi HiH)ke He r practice. So the audi graced the froul'er. and In We tl.nt; and It laughed lie proposed to a in! perfection ,-plIEUE are colonels and majors three of them married ami CflnirillJI 111111 BO II If ftltl f'MtW ' I ft-"- den was who ever prm-cu mr- mm m race Hint; and It laughed their time most women seemed attrat- Wlun the laugh hud subsided, the uve Tf "i- urase ironi in knees. IU walked She bud been brought up la garrisons to the footlights and sighed and large cltloa, aud by the time sl.e. "Ah! well." he said, "I have one wan 2'J she knew the world rather well. I crumb of comfort. I am not the only Moreover. he knew uicn-not girls andj mnu lu thU place who It lu the sumo women, but men. fix." Because she had been allowed to live! The astounded Ardsley looked nliout jn posts during most of what should him, nifd he picked out the entire num have teen her boarding-school days, j ber by their faces. Miss Ilanimlen and because she was pleasant to look ujh)D and converse with at nu age wlu-n most girls are Impossible, men bad fallen In love with her pretty nnu'h ever since she could rcmcmltcr. It was said that she bnd refused all the bachelors In all the frontier regl menis. This was not fur from the truth. A woman who had married one of the rejected ones said that refusing was a habit Miss Hampden bnd form ed, and that It licgan to look as If she might never break herself of It. In the nature of things this wns re pented to the girl. Her Rood temper wm one of her charms. "It Is so much beter a habit than accepting them all," he argued, sweetly. Nevertheless, she wondered If there were not some truth mingled with the malice. Put Lieut. Loting was the last victim of her practice. Ho proposed to her, unfurl unit My for himself, just after he had met young AnUley. "I thought this morning that maybe 1 would marry you." said Miss IIninp den. "Hut I've changed my mind, some way. "Weren't you Just a trifle prompt In determining my Intentions?" he asked "lias the event proved me wrong?" ihc returned. He lost his temper. "You are spoiled," be said. If you knew how often I have hoard that! Yet I do not think I am. I am simply sincere, and you are a little too vain, all of you. to grasp the difference. I like you awfully well no, now, don't misunderstand me. I don't love you. And you are too nice a fellow to be married to a girl who only likes you. No," she repeated, "I do uot think I'm fpoiled. I have been so placed that men were making love to me at an age when other girls were playing with dolls. It's partly because I am pretty and partly, largely, because there are so few women out here. When I have been In the East I haven't made much iiroppcd- in-r head lu her buuda and laughed with the rest. Hot ween the acts, Ard-dey made In anities and learned the truth. He was - j i -f . l'ON T 111! A GOOSR, JACK. : IT,- . BOU1MSO AS IK IIKII HEART WEI1B IT TKltl.T IlllOKKX. r a sensation. I've grown a bit hard ened, prrhai. Custom has dullel the tdgo which was fearfully keeu and tutting, at flrst-of being told that I m breaking a heart. Hut. though I m only 22. pve lived to see dozens of you marry and be happy. You'll do the ii me." "0, no, I shall not," moaned Lorlng. "O, yes, you will. Jack. And I shan't Mud. Now I've promised to dance this lth the new Mr. Ardslcy, and If we bitten with a dealre to obtnln the un attainable, aud he was not one to dally lie went behind the scenes. horn ure you going home with Miss Hampden?" "I fear no one will take me after the light Mr. Craves has put mo In "May I do so?" She nodded, and Ard&ley went bnek to his seat. "So you have refused the entire army?" he asked, as they walked home, "Not quite." 'The eutlre department?' "Well, a fair percentage of It," she admitted. "Are you going to refuse me?" "I can't say until you are offered." "I offer niyself now." "And I accept you now." "Good enough! Will you announce our engagement to-ntght at supicr?" At the risk of belug adjudged Insane yes, I'ut on this ring until I can get you another. It will tit your middle Anger. Now I am In earnest." "So am I." she wild. They were very much In earnest, the event proved; and the garrison derived unmixed pleasure from the total, un conditional, obvious surrender of MIjm Hampden. She was as open In her In fatuation as she had always been In everything else. And Ardsley was equally Infatuated. He took back the class ring and gave her a diamond which cost lilin three months' pay. They were altogether happy. So, Just a fortnight lefore the day arranged for their wedding, the gods demanded the llrst payment on their loan. Ardsley was ordered off on a scout. Miss Hampden clung to Ardsley and cried like a little girl, and did not 1 have In the least like a woman who had seou countless scouts. And she let him go to the wars remembering her stand- lug with her arm against the wall and her bead upon her arm, sobbing as If her heart were utterly broken. Ardsley did not come back from the scout. lie was In a fight on what should have bech his wedding day. Others were killed and their Iswlles were recovered and burled, but Ards ley's body was never found. There wns a tale that a lire had been seen on the battlefield the night after AMrteys ring. The fire did not Uxicft m ieuer. i understand now why they never could tell me which was his kruve. i.eucrai Droke tho string and picked up the cla ring from among the scattered U-iublos. The squaw was chattering and whining and clawing around on the earth. Tho General held the ring out to his wife. She raised the dark eyes that had leen so bright and happy the hist time It had bevn held oui 10 nor. "Can I have It?" she askn.1 The General put It In ber hand, and iue ii no citwi'd over It. "Tbauk you." she saidl'tlea Glolie. WILL MEASURE DEW. I.lttla Alti-k. .... ncuiotr uurcuu. Hereaiter the gentle dew cannot de ni uigni uor a Hake of snow fall without being registered on the Minne apolis went tier station rain gauge. Will mm luriisic, a memlcr of Weather ob server Uutrum's hlalT. has Just ik rfeet n llMl.. ...II , . .. - uujuiu-i io uie rain gauge ;iimiion uiHclilnery, which will hereuftir make It Double to n.elsi..r umoiuieiy so small a precipitation as a thousandth of an Inch. In fact the minuteness of Its registration Is only minion ny uie delicacy of tho scuU. uiaker's art. Mr, Carlisle has frequently noticed that short and gentle, but jH-rfectly ap preciable rainfalls have occurred with out suowing any registration, (in tin. other hand he has noted that tdlcht n-c luminous are sometimes made when there Is no moisture falling. The regis tratlou Is effected by means of nil elec trlcai conmvtlou betweeu the scales of the exposed ruin gauge ami a graphic representation device In the ollh-e lie low. Tho rain gauge Jar rests ou one arm of a pair of delicately balanced scales. Kaln falling lu the Jar disturbs uie iinlance, the Jar side settles aud thereby closes on electrical circuit which causes the registering device to record a certain amount of rain. At the same time the balance Is automatic ally restored. Mr. Curllsle ascertain ed that at times the pressure exerted on the bottom of the Jar by wind eddies had exactly the same effect ns the. U-iilivl.f .t . .1.. ffk .., . . 1 .. , mc iiuu. ii wis ouvious mm what was nwdod wns a device that would distinguish betweeu wlud and rain. After much experimentation Mr. Car llslo hit upon the scheme of Introduc ing In the electrical circuit some addi tional clock work, the effect of which Is to delay the graphic register the sec onds. That Is to say Hint If a certain nmount of rain Is caught by the gauge receptacle It will be the seconds be fore It Is recorded. If the pressure ex erted on the scales was really that made by collected water It would still remain at the end of that ix rlixl. If on the other band the disturbance of the scales wns momentary and due to wind pressure, they would regain their equilibrium during the the seconds and no record would lie made. The ma chine can bo adjusted to any length of time. Mr. Carlisle's attention Is now attach ed to the otllclal rain gauge and works udmlrably. It Is probable that the In vention will be applied to all govern ment rain gauges. Minneapolis Journal. piay out here any longer every one will the encounter, nnd lu the midst of the f !!.'n .!!'! L"S '"'I'l'oned." flre troe wth a form which might " uow wnen tney see me. I i 'on t lie a goose, Jack. It's only the cart that Is trying to take Itself seri ously that exhibits the pain." I "l'oa't discuss a subject you know Mhlng about. You have no heart.". I As Miss Hampden walked off with ", sue Knew that l.orlng wns have lieen that of a man against It. There were Indians grouped around It. Miss HamiHlen never heard the story. She never even guessed at what had happened uutlj twenty years nfter ward. She was the superb and spiritless wife of a mighty general, and she was k-...,... . 7 i h-a i. 1,11 ,,oy' rres" rr0IU accompanying her huslwiul on a tour r- uwi. as nMV in powir nnpd nr me world as the brass buttons on his plouse, was the man she was going to Fe- lie WOllllI IoVB linr nt nmnn It to he fro red that It did not enter iier nu that be mlcht not. Kim mw n lag. "Is that your class ring?" she said. "Vis," he told her. "May I see It?" "e gave It to her. nnd whlln she ex- Willed It he ftfl t find arimtriul ur MVua pmiHk.n raised her eves and met his. einilied. but It n liko nn Biiillo uha hi ever liestowed on a man before. He f'ked nt j,,,. irrnvi'lv. nnd lvr Mod closed tlghtlv over the rlnir. In a anient she was studying It again. 1 uKe ths. It's unusual," she said. ' Bin glad von tlilnk n m I mn. r'yed the design." He expected to be p a that he was clever. Indeed!" Wll nil h nl,1 nn.t lhn pdlfferently. "ow cool! 1 rather thouiht vou'd !IPrcg surprise, nnd o-lve m some Feillt. 1011 IPO nn ,l.ll,.l.wl tn flnttnii- f ouiu seem." ' m not. Hut I don't think It would lave been tlntertnir tn l mpnrliiiwl Mint fou hav done It. It struck me as le Pfjiulte the thing you would naturally That Is very pretty." If Is terfw,l, .A b ' bapiK-ned, od,Uy enough, that Ards- T C n Jl nis.1 .. . . . . . m . i - .. uul lu jjave Dpnrt oi .hiss I reputation by the next gnt. ne was nAvXj aakj t0 a nowiMKe of It. There were private theatricals In the "P room, and Mlsa Hampden was the filing lady. Now the suitor was quite "ereJ- nd be meant to play a Joke P 'hose In ttl ailitlpn,- tt-hn nnt fad Uker ,,,. . Vl" v t of lusiectlon In the West. They were at an agency one day, and were visiting 'MAT I SBK IT?" 81IK ask an cuoi.lt. the tepiH-s. It was the agency of the In dians tlmt young Ardsley had fought two decades before; aud the General's wife was nerving herself not to show that she remembered this. The General was examining the trin kets that bung on a string around the neck of a half-blind squaw. j "Here Is a West Toint class ring!" be exclaimed. His wife related her words of twen ty years pa.st. "May I see It?" she asked, coolly. She took It In her hands and turned It about. She coidd make out the design, though It seemed to have passed through some heat that bad melted It. There was no doubt In her mini Neverihelss. she looked Inside. The heat bad not affected It there, and the Initials were quite plain even yet. -D. A-." sit said; "It was Difid Otve tho Stupid Hoy a Chance. Here Is a lessou and perhaps eiuvur- ngeuietit for parents who have a stupid tKiy, for uo doubt there are a few stu pid boys In the world, even amid the lights of this closing century. It Is said that when Isaac Harrow, one of the greatest of Kngllsli preachers, was n boy, his father thought lilin very stu pid, aud 111 to say If It pleased God to take from lilin any of his children he 1iomh1 It would lie Isaac. Hut Isaac was not takeu; be grew to U one of the greatest preachers of England, a professor lu the University of Cain bridge and a teacher of Sir Isaac New ton. It Is well to remember that a lwy Is not necessarily stupid because he Is pronounced stupid. He may be stupid ly. Judged. The tire of Intellect may kindle slowly; It may seem to lie smol dering under n heap of ashes, hoHleMs ly suppressed. Genius does not always shoot up like a skyrocket. It may come like the rising of the sun to meridian splendor, slowly, steadily. Do not Is' discouraged by the npimrent stupidity of the boy or girl. Give him or her a fair chance. The first movements ol the gn-at sea-going vessel nre apparent ly awkward ami hesitating, ns she trie; to turn to get out of the harbor. Hut watch her graceful, splendid move mcnts ns she plows the ocean or wonth ers the storm. Moreover, a attipld Judgment of a boi Is damaging to him. To call lilin i dunce, n blockhead, an Idiot, Is vcri unwise ns well as unkind. It may ills courage him. may for a long time ixira lyae his efforts, may even permanentl affect his character. Give the stupli lioy a chance, and It will be known er long whether he Is really or only ap parently stupid. Ha pi 1st Courier. PRUIT CURES. fba Kffeit on Health of Almond, Grapca anil Mnu ttcrrlcs. According to a celebrated health ex pert, blauched almonds gave the higher ' nerve or brain and musclo food, and the man who wishes to kcp his gralu IKiwer will do well to Include tlieiu lu his dally bill of fare. Juicy fruits give more or less the higher nerve or brain food, aud are eateu by all men whose living depemls on their clear-headed ness. Apples aupply the brain with rest I'ruues are said to afford proof against nervousness, lint nre uot muscle feed. lug. They should lie avoided by those who suffer from the liver. Hut It has been proved that fruits do not have the same effect iqiou everybody. Homo men cauuot eat apples without suffer lug rrom acute dyhpei.la. "Fruit cure" Is a form of treatment which Is quite tne rage lu coutluciital Kurope now with ix-rsotis suffering from real or Imaginary maladies. The New York Times nays lu refer ence to thU oue of the laici fads: "lu the tenth century, au Investigator has discovered, many medical authorities became enthusiastic In their writings over the remarkable curative virtues of grapes; while a certulu Van Sweeten of a more modern date. Is nald to have rcconiniiudcd lu special cases the eat ing oi iwciity pounds or strawlierrlcs a day. The same geiiilemau also reports a case of phthisis healed by strnwber rles, and cites cases lu which maniacs have gained their reason by the exclu sive use of cherries. These Instances siivor rather of Uie ridiculous, but there Is uo doubt that the so-called grape cure for ludigcatlou and other evils Is carried on lu many places on the conti nent, and that inutile betake them selves to Meran, Yevay, Hingen, or to Italy and the south of Frauce. with the Intention of devoting six weeks to the cure, during which time they are ex pected to have gradually accomplished the feat of consuming from three to eight iMiunds of grajN's dally. Gmes are said to exercise a salutary action ou the nervous system and so favor the formation of fat-that Is to aay. when fruit of good quality Is employed; If the grapes are uot sullkieutly rle and nre watery aud sour, the patleut may lose rather than caln weight. The valuable results obtained by a fruit diet In cases of dyspepsia are duo to the fact that the noxious germs habitually present lu the nllmeutary canal do uot thrive In fruit Juices." that fruit Is a most valuable article of food cannot be denied, and that many diseases may In- greatly lionofltod by a diet largely conqiosod of fruit Is true enough. It Is a fact, too. Uiat the majority of people eat more iuent than they require. Meat eaten once a day Is sulllcleut for a person not engaged la manual lalsir or who doca not take much strong outdor exercise. A large number of the complaints contracted owe their origin to the consumption of rood which entails a greater drain ou the gastric Juleca than the system Is able to withstand. The cures attribut ed to the grape occur for the most part with those who are accustomed to high living, and nre really owing to the fact that the organs of digestion nre given a much needed rest. Scmt-ttarvntlon wouiu answer tne purpose almost ns well. For the icrsoii whose work He chiefly Indoors, a mixed nnd varied diet Is most conducive to good health. Med leal Itecord. hit contract he preached a sermon on "Sunshine from Hot ween the Weels," and at the close he announced to his bearers the name of the wheel ho rode and advised them to gvt only good ones. The good xopo of Louisville, Ky., wero recently Ktart led by the appear ance on the streets of that city of a stylishly dressed young womau with a pipe In her mouth. The pip,, was of briar root, with sliver mountings and a curved amlier stem. The good qual ity of the toliacco which the young woman smoked has ttoen ntttwted by masculine observers who caught a whiff of Its rich aronm. surrosE we smile. FRENCH BRIAR PIPES. HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM THE COMIC PAPERS. 1'Uaaant Incident Oicnrrln lbs WurlJ Orci-K.jln. that Are Cheer ful to Old or Vounu-l'unnj telec tiona that Everybody Will fcujoy. Almost ftiarniirairrd. Clara I thought he would never kiss me. "How long did you have to wait?" "Fully the minutes." rW l liellUliop's Triumph. The late Hlshop Selwyn delighted to tell the following racy Incident In l.ls vnrled experience: While Hlshop of Lltchlleld he wns walking one day In the Hlnck Country, and observing a group of colliers seated by the roadside In a seml-clrcle, with a brass kettle In front of them, Inquired what was going IMsek, Hoheuita, Is probably tho only "tingles ' town lu the world. In con sequence of a death from hydrophobia the authorities ordered every dog lu the place killed A remarkable long-distance telephone talk was that betweeu Captain Jacques lu New York aud Simon Luke lu the cabin of his submarine lioat, the Argo naut, eight miles out lu Haltlmore har bor aud sixty -five feet under water, When a man has reaclnd SI years and has worked nt blaeksmlthlug un ceaslugly for sixty-live years one night excuse him If ho abandoned the anvil evermore, but a smart old fellow down In Maine asks uo release In these cir cumstances aud continues merrily on. J tost on a municipal legislators are considering the ndvlsnlrtilty of isirrow lug IT.'Si.iNK) for tho establishment of twenty playgrounds for the children of the streets. The committee ou cities favorably reported a bill providing foi this Improvement. A prying correspondent has discover ed lu Iiscataquis County, Maine, a family of six children, the oldest of whom (twins) nre not yot quite 4 years of age. Other twins nre two years younger, nnd the others 4 weeks. In each case of the twins there are a Iwy and a girl. It Is said that a flower has beeu found In South America which Is vlslblo only when the wind Is blowing. The shrub ls'Iongs to the cactus family, and Is nliout throe feet high, with a crook at the top. When the wind blows a number of beautiful flowers proirudu from little lumps ou the stalk. A letter from Japan says thir, al though It Is only eighteen years since the first ncwKmcr was published In Japan, there are now 575 dally nnd on. "Why, yer Honor," replied a grave- looking member, "It's a sort of wnger. weekly newsiaicrs. There are tnlrtv- Yon kettle Is a prize for the fellow who five law magazines, eleven scleutlllc can tell the biggest lie, and I am the ! lx-rlodlcals. thirty-live medical Journals umpire." Amazed and shocked, the good bishop said reprovingly: "Why, my friends, I have never told a lie thut I know of since I was Ixirn." Then was a dead silence, only broken by the voice of the umpire, who snld In a do-lllM-rato toue, "Glo the bishop tne kettle." Korean Pap r. Korean paper Is suierIor to that of either China or Japan, In both of -hlcb countries It Is In demand for umbrella covers, roofing aud as a substitute for window glass. The difference between what a man things of himself aud what other peo ple think of him Is a good deal like what a man asks for a piece of prop erty and what the other man offers to give. Single men are always drafted Into war first. This may cause a lot of old bachelors to hurry op and get married. Bad atory -tellers aw! poor rolatlona ax often considered Lorta. and an equal niunls-r of religious news papers. The late Justice I'aulels of New Y'ork was one of the many imtsoiis uflllctcd with the dread of being burled alive. "I request," he wrote In his will, "that Interment shall lc delayed until after my decease shall have obviously and certainly taken place, and excluding reliance as to that fact ou tho opinion of any physician, as such opinions have so ofteu proved to be mlntakcs." It Is related of I'resldent John Ty ler's nephew, William Tyler, who died a few days ago lu Conkllng, Washing ton County, Tenu., at the age of Ki years, that he had lived all bis long life In the house in which he was Iwru, aud that the building was onco owned by John Sevier, the pioneer, who there planned with ColoneIsaac Shelby, In 17tXJ, the battle of King's mountain. A minister In Springfield, Mass., Is said to have rccvlved a bicycle as a present from the manufacturer on con dition that It should tie advertised by bJui fruui the pulpit. They Don't Come from France and Are Not Ilrlarwood, "The manner lu which an article mav (Vine to be uulversally sold under a name to which it Is not legitimately entitled and that, too, without any In tent to deceive ou the part of either the dealer or the manufacturer," remarked a well known tobacco man, "Is Illus trated by the trade lu pipes. Nliu tenths of the wooden pliies sold now adays are called, ami the most of them are branded. 'French briar.' Hut there Is no such wood as French briar, and consequently there are no Flench briar pipes. The wood from which the pipes are made comes from that section of the globe Wintering on or adjacent to the Adriatic Sea ami Its botanical name Is Hruyere. The pronunciation of the word Is as If It were spelled 'bii-ya. but It soon became corrupted Into briar,' and by that name the pipes made from It have W-en known ever since. The fact that manufacturers In France were the llrst to utilize the root for the benefit of smokers of the 'weed' gave rise to the French' part of the generally accepted designation. For a good many years, though, nearly all of eUlu Uie Trench briar' pipes sold In this country have been manufactured here, the wood being Imported lu blocks. Notwithstanding nil this. If you accuse a smoker of wooden pipes of possessing n pipe that Is made from anything but the root of a briar bush grown lu France It Is ten chances to one that be will get mad and tell you that you don't know what you are talking about." A Wonderful Nolnr Kog nn. At Long wood, near Huston, last Mon day a solar engine of Ingenious con struction, which has lieen under con struction for several months, was given a highly succi-ssful test with cold water lu the Wilier, the formation of strain being almost Instantly. The gauge reg- j iHUi-ea a pressure or alsiut eighty the IHiumls lu half an hour, which drove the engine steadily, doing the work of nWuit two-horse power. The engine consists of threw partsa reflector, which concentrates the heat. cylinder for generating the steam nnd a device for keeping the sun's rays constantly In focus ou the cylinder. In the machine set up nt Ixmgwood 'here Is n heavy Iron framework, which sup ports a series of glass mirrors, arranged lu n semicircular sheet twenty-two feet In diameter. This mirror Is nearly i.s high ns It Is wide, and the framework on which It Is placed Is so adjusted that It will follow the sun In Its circuit, nnd may be adjusted by hand from week to week to follow Uie declination of the sun. This iKillcr Is one of the peculiar fea tures of tho solar machine, which would puzzle any oue unacquainted with hcllodymuulc. It Is of copper, nWitit eight Inches In diameter and as long ns the curved mirror, lu the focus of which It Is placed. Owing to the fa.'t that that mirror Is made up or Inuumer nblo facets of glass the cylinder te celves light on every part of Its surface, cutting out any area of shadow at the back and having the direct sunlight lu front. riilhidelphlu IYckh. t'nirollluli1e. Judge Is It true, my man. that you quit the gang aud reformed? Prisoner It's a solemn fact, yer Honor. Iey give me de Job of plckln' women's (nickels an' I couldn't tine tnore'n one or two a mouth. I had ter look fur soiucthlu' else ter do. 1 'droit Free Tress. Ill Intrrot. "Are you taking much Interest lu the Spaiilsli-l'uhuu war?" Inquired the Eu ropean statesman. "1 should nay I am!" replied the cap italist; "compound luterest." Washing ton Star, Found Out. Visitor (In Insane as) lum) How long have you beeu Inside? luniate-Kver since the people on the outside found out that I knew they wero crazy. The llltrcrcnrc. Customer What Is the difference be tween those two lints? Clerk About the only difference Is lu the price. One Is marked a dollar high er than the other. Customer So I see a marked differ- lie Had Thar. "Were yon ever caught In a sudden squall?" asked a passenger of tha atenmlioat captain. "Well, I rather guess ao!" replied the ca plain. "I'm the father of tbree pairs of twins!" ' he Wa an rnderatndy. Smltb-So your wife has gone on a three weeks' visit. Jones Yes. Smith Dou't you miss the directing hand of the household department? Jones Not at all. Her mother Uvea with us, and she didn't go on a visit. At tha Opera. She Yon don't understand German, do you, Mr. Illnks? Little ltlnks No er not much. She I wondered at you applauding so vigorously when the principal actor snld he was too ludlsposcd to continue. Judy. A Keaonahla Hope. "Yes," snld Mr. Glillplns. "I think my sou Daniel has a bright future ahead of him." "How's that?" "lie's Just got the ngency for onu of tho iKst kinds of store polish I ever saw." Quite a IHffcreni-o, 4f J Jut III Luck. "I nercr saw such a chronic kicker us Jcuktna Is." "What's his latest grievance?" "He found a $3 bill this morulug aud Is grumbling W-cauie a man to whom he owed ja.75 saw him pick It up." flhc Couldn't One What It Wit, Mrs. Maundsley-Do your daughter and her husband live happily together? Mrs. Oldham Alas, I'm afraid not. My duughter says they do, but every time I go to visit them there seems to be something present to mar the aeren tty of their lives. Drawing ComparWona. Charley My pupa Is tho kindest limn lu the world, I bet. He says he'd give every dollar he's got to make me happy. Willie .My papa's Wtter'n Uiat. He never blows nliout the things he done when ho wus a lsy. Shorty How far Is It to the poatof- flee? "About twenty minutes' walk." "For you or for ine." New York Press. A Hlrenk of I. lick. Hlock I had great luck nt tho races to-day. Morgan-Picked a winner, ch? Mock No; but when I reached the track I found I'd left nil my money at home In my other trousers. Morgan That's jour Idea of luck, Is It? Hlock Yes; nnd tho W-st part of H was I didn't know a bou! there and couldu't borrow a cent. They (let It Honestly. "Why la It that womeu always lay so much more stress than men do upon the value of a pedigree?" "They Inherit It from Eve, I guess." "From Kve? I don't see what she bud to boast of In that line." "It wasn't much, but aha wasn't mndo out of clay, whllo Adam was. and I'll Wt she never got through re minding him of ber superior origin." The Wemedy, "Kiss Itlolilo lor Me." Col. Klcbard C. Parsons, Jr., whom tho President nominated for Secretary of the emWissy at Home the other day, Is the son of Col. Itlchard C. Parsons, of Cleveland, Ohio, who was years ago In Congress from that district, and was one of the most lutliaite friends of Sirretary Salmon P. Chase. Chase formed a strung friendship for tho young Cleveland statesman that was severed only by his death. Older Washlngtuulans and frequenters of tho capital recall, says tho Chicago Inter Occin, during the reWdllon and the early days or reconstruction, when Par sons, as the guest of Chase, was a fa miliar figure uiKiii the streets nnd In ollliial society. Then, as now, ho was noted for his Hillshcd manners ami aihk-Ii, nnd particularly for his dress, which was laiuiiess. M careful was Col. Parsons In the sehs-tlon of what he wore that he attracted the attention of President Lincoln, who sMike of him one day to Chase, who waa then Seen-- tary of the Treasury, as "the licst- driwscd man he ever saw." The last letter ever written by Chase was addivsscd to Oil. Parsons. The hlef Justice was at Hie home of a near relative In New York, W'lng on his way homo from the Fax!, will I her he had gone lu the Iiom of benellt.lng his health. The letter was written about an hour ImToi-o he was stricken with the dlsniHe that killed him. In It he sH.ke of his love for Parsons and his family, nnd he closed by writing: "Kiss Richie for me." This was a reference to Col. Parsons' son, Richard C. Par sons, Jr., who was then a tisldTer. This letter l preserved by Col. Parsons, aud money could not buy it. Hi Assurance Old Hlllyuns What assurnnco have you to offer that you really love my daughter? Anxious William Why, I have prom ised to come and live with your family as a member of It for her sake. I wouldn't do Hint for mere money, 'pon my word. Keep n if It. Mlsa Truegood Are you obsorvlng Lent? Mrs. Fllckerson Yes; I've had horri ble luck. I haven't won a prlxo at a card parly since It began. "1 1 I'ndecorateil, Miss Wllllstou How Is It, colonel, that you havo no medal? All the oth er olllcers lu your regiment have lots of them. Col. Copeton Well, you see, I don't belong to any bicycle clubs and never made, a century run In my life. She Are there not moments In your life when you are not satisfied when there Is something lacking? He ies, Indeed! She At such times I always lake ref. ugo In music. And what do you do? Uo-I advertise!-II el t ere Wolt. Kllthtcoii llldliiiiullnll. fulfil Flrat Ona a Hecnrd. Jock What an original girl MaWd Decker Is I Fred I never noticed It. Jack-I projioaed to ber last night. and she didn't say that she bad hoped we mignt always be Just good friends. Too Dangerous, "Why Is It that Davidson never goes out with tho Wys any more?" "He has dovehqied a habit of talking In bis sleep about things that be does lu bis wuklng hours." How It Waa. Browne Smith riust lead a double life. He soya no gives that man money for )Mllcy'a sake. Towne Yes; that man la Smith's In surance agent. New York Kveulug Journal. Destructive Australian Ants. The roof of the Australian museum at Sydney, which hud W-en destroyed by termites, or "white ants," bad to be re placed with a coveting composed large ly of steel aud copH-r. Itcceiilly It was discovered that these destructive little real ii res had ulso ruined the under pinning of one of the luqiortunt floors of the museum. 1 he work of the term ite Is peculiar In that It Is carried on In the Interior of the tlmW-r and doc not reveal Itself until the structure Is nliout to fall to pieces. Noncommittal. Carrie I ld John come up very close to you when he proposal? May Well, I hope you don't think be went across the street and shouted bis love over to me. The Greek Z. "When these principles are trium phant," yell.-d an agitator, "we shall have comfort and happiness from Can ada to Mexico, from the Atlnutlc to Io order to t ullill . the Pacific, from Alpha to Oiuabul" Mrs. Josh Perkins (on a visit) I will take this Clerk-Cash! Mrs. Perkins See here, young feller, you lieedu t shout nt me like that. Can't ye give me time to take out my pocket book? New York Journal. It Waa Rather HuagcatlT. Jack I thought you were engaged to Miss Delllbbons? Tom So I was; but It's off now. Jack What was tin trouble; did she break the engagement? Tom No; I did. I hnpMned to be In the store where she Is employed the other day and heard her cull for "cash." A Modern Miracle,!- i Mrs. Churehlelgu Our new mlnbWer possesses the most wonderful persua sive lowers I ever knew a man to oa-Bess. Mrs. Homer Indeed! In what way lias It Ih'cii demonstrated? Mrs. Churchlelgh-Why, he has only been Willi us three weeks anu has suc ceeded lu couvertlug every member of the choir. The Meal Reason. "I have Just found out why artists and poets wear their hair long." "Why Is Itr "They cau't get It cut for nothing." Not Very Kncnurauinif, aiotner vt en, proiessor, do you think you will be able to make a musi cian of my daughter? Professor Alas! madam, I fear not. Mother Why do you Bay that, pro- lessor T ProresMor Three score aud ten la man's ulloted number of years, and I am now 53 years old. Tha tluia la too hurt, madam. Good Advice to Youna Authors. It Is possible to give good advice without Intending to do It. Some time ago an Inspiring writer In New Zealand wrote to Mr. Itudyard Kipling for ad vice which might enable hlin to suc ceed In the occupation be had chosen. In dbe time be received the following note from Mr. Kipling: 'No man's advice la of the least W-n- (flt In our business (and I am a very busy man). Keep on trying till you either fall or succeed." Mr. Kipling could bardly have snld more If be had written the man a let- br to cover a ream of pnier. ' The young author who Is ambitious of literary success, and who baa It In him to succeed, will not be discouraged by repeated rallurea; but will learn something from every failure, and per severe uutll ho finds appreciation. If he never finds such appreciation, the proof Is pretty osltlve that be does uot possess tbe qualifications for suc cess; and he naa naruiy wasted bia time, since beyond question be enjoyed tha work, or ba would not bava dona It Golnic Around the World. A traveler can now go around tha world in lift daya.