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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (March 27, 1897)
it A A mi ill .i .... V III! All rlRlit! Now i, innir!" said tin pay parrot. I regrei iu - , i . fikimir man that Snip, the dally milk is tbe fJVrn.t in the luteal up-to- Si'S-nln-nt least, no, " word slipped ut Tan' "., tl right -M of BO. ' ..... In receipt of a pell- ,., mull private Income to boot, anchor In my present abode ..,istln t weathering many Yi murm yet. . nirli.Mit ii known relation In willingly fe" m wltb the k10 lSt K1..M.M pick up my ! slangs!.!.' '" M frlen,, nD,, ;fft dipt. Travers. late It. N.. ' ttt left one "f ''K9 OU ,l,e Lm of Africa wlille rapturing a ai pensioned on in n.. m.. ,th:in myself, and now lived , ilster-a most comfortable fit, fair, and or thereabout jdjuiiiliis house to mine w r'llimd of guidon. We bnd al ,1 n well together, our tnstoa wltioiis were Hlmllar. apd we ' met durUm our naval careers. .... ..... ..nflinu! v ttenn t er i nan u" c" tod with, but. noing i" ' .like her lirtlicr, we were soon -ml j. Travers an 1 myself had each :e parrot bis tbe common Afrl it. with a red-tipped tall, and y purer variety, wltnoui a trace hut otherwise similar. 1 gut lone settled down In my tirten. aud got every""" 8I"I Sir what seemed so to me a very ni dleretKv, as 1 know to-day almost unconsciously at first, to fct-t what a lonely old Isieh- 1.15 ami what a set-off to all my .longings the figure of Miss Travers would !e by my H re ft it lust here the course of my Am began t' inuke Itself felt. slivnrss in the presence of tbe I i had dogged my footsteps r earliest recollections. Give of wind In the bay of Hlseay, In III the tropics, or twenty jl it.ion deck, wet through to the I dipt. Mauley, late or tbe r. serviic, will thank you for It, i!-r life well worth living; hut user of delicate attentions to sex, Intensely ns he Inwardly their pretty ways. Cnpt. Man- not, no, he certainly does not, to advantage. A fund of pets generally, I antipathy to cats, especially at am not aware that our neigh was particularly beneficial In t or other qualifications to :istitution, but I know that mi ' Inhuman enough to start an caiinonade on my numerous I visitors, I was frequently mi- eel a respectable night's ret. nal Min k and white Tom de fines! efforts. If average cats ' lives, I inn sure this one must 'lap nineteen, and I began to won sit sort of uncanny being this "M liad no objection to letting my ifl'iss apparently through Its :liiut suffering any Inconven lat after nil It must have been marksmanship, for one after- law my enemy quietly walking p fence that divided my back Jjroni rant. Travers' ' on it. simile f 1 Punctually Bt 3 o'clock I jonne.1 ,,. Hpruces, uttlre. and wltl, a .mar, ,," er lu my buttonhole--,;,,,. , waallpped over the ,.,,,". MUJ Itacbel was there. looking as fresh ,Mn I I """"W with the dew which I consider a very pretty ...... nan.. ,t. welcome with "', "in lies, i Here, I.,, -,, tile ....... y parrot in it cage. ,, ,.,., , j..-. u.nmciu I tie Nlillliner bouse. 1 ...... u.Micci unit It bud I ii B(.t 011l , -......-.. . siiai on all tine .lays, nu.l .r us i (M,u, Nw ,,!,; ,,,, Ir.11H r-i.ii . miiKe me think they bad any liiispeci my imposition. '"""'"" Willi my In,,. ,,, t nml nvnlil.,,1 ...i ... 4 nonet. or u , anv uy wnutever. nv,. . . mi an right; my old friend eueery anil MUs Hacb-l liiioHcu me great attention. I ,m,i hear I'olly rubbing her beak up and uuwn i ue wires of tbe cage, and swln ...g oiicKwanis ana forwards lu metal ring. i 1 1. . i... . . . .ue ineui i apt. Travel's went indoors to get bis supply of ticcessarli ror tbe evening, and, turning to me, .hiss i ravers commented: iiy-ine-oy, tapt. Jlanley. how Is your parrot? I have not seen It out lu the garden lately." i felt my heart beating a bit faster but with every semblance of outward calm I mji It : o; tne fact Is, It s not been at all well; In fact. It Is dead." "Dead:" she exclaimed. "Well, never. What did It die of V" l really Uou t know," I replied. "It died quite suddenly about a week l'o, "I hope our I'olly Isu't going to follow sun, sue continued. "She has been very dull and quiet the last few days, out seems a tut more lively this even lug. I don't think she has xkeii word all the week." Ihank goodness!" I Inwardly ejacu lated. iiiings wore beginning to look a bit awkward, and I east about for some thing to change the course of coiiv. mi hum. i a in not a qtilcK thinker, however, and before I could collect my wits .Miss Travers continued: "Dear, dear, to think your poor Pol ly s dead! Well, I am sorry! I should be sorry to lose you, I'olly, dear," she said, addressing the parrot. "But, real ly. (.'apt. Mauley," looking me straight iwtunlty was too good to be quietly getting my nlrgun I l''adv aim this time, and without a rpuss dropped on to m v flow- i t dead as the proverbial door filiation, however, was of short i for to my horror and dismay, j-'ling to pick up his unfortu 'f waud give It decent burial, l't niy shot bad passed right Villi unlucky animal and killed f lxir's parrot, which had been itl'Hun Itself In a little summer- " ' atood at the bottom of the t i '1 MEAN THAT IS TO SAY VOC. SIR. ; '4 staggore.l at my position; I Parrot was n minr,,,0 C, .Mlss Travers. and hnw I nonlil ' w.alu uiy careliwsiipsn I mni.i foe. Suddenly a wav out nf J," i"'-eiueu useir to my T ' 1 Hastened ''f- I knew "W. a 1(1 Uniit l I.- I .. - "" oe iiuck ior "ile tlnio i ... . . A " 'iiiiryiug uiuoors yS inv ni-t. .,nHHn4 .... I ivfii !. ....i... ... iNiiineu tne end or Its ri1' Ink In iniitaftn.. nr it ,i... r'lnrad.'. ami il..,n., i " 1 Ktenned ll'i.ti ul.stlii,!l.,i the living for the 7 '. mile i I in,ni.i . .i Scat. I.. - "seiml -ti. own irnpi...n . to put It Into that the Traverses Tne Scow I1 my parrot would not rendllv strangers. n,i I ho,P(, tlmt ?"!t had L-ot ..i " It would have forgotten r aeeonmlisl,,,, .,,,,. o. trlskir. ' lies the head that Vl. sang sotllP nrwt n-lin never wore n...i.u. !ltean .. .". ". I 0 the torture of my mind, fl ' ."" !l '''urse of duplicity. i'l'eabe.! f roses. :",ni'r;' the end of the follow " t I happened to be out In ."" I saw my old friend come umiTi ii,.. , ... , - .-c i-atn or his own t ainirarrv-onp rvltv '"V T ... - wis r..i,.e, criwj; 4 . aI"aln, you're quite I " s ,( In to In she waV en up? Bachel has " J;,r'Ut Cl.nil It v..,,- . . uenitn, as e.i;iH' in ue i. . , e wrong. '"",Q l,it p,,orlJr" 1 t ill rds sllppe.1 out. ii ' ; 1 1,",'n n right as nine- ''at particular sum should s; "U)re f'tltude than its t7,iTr Wq ble to ui tiie way. 'i'-u "',',1, IK'll:'Is' Mid Capt. la d ; t,)rue over ,be u,"n' il ! f rp:i ln ,,le "iimnior A It 1 lla11 In after .rJ rU a f'xxl glass of .ur niahtoan r" , In the face. "I can't make our Tolly out. Sometimes I could almost believe she was a different bird. She hasn't once seemed pleased to see me all the week." I felt the blood rapidly rising to my checks and forehead, but I trusted to my tanned complexion for It uot to show. I feebly replied; "Perhaps she's moulting." It was an unlucky slip. "Well, now I come to think," said Miss Travers, "I noticed that Its tall looked much paler after Its bath the other morning, aud the water was quite red. Is that a sign of moulting?" "Yes, I often used to notice !t about my own parrot." "But I thought your bird had no red about It," she pursued. "Confound the woman's perslstnce," I thought, but I stammered; "I mean that la to say you see I've noticed It In nil red parrots I have ever come across. They shouldn't be bathed at all; It Injures their constitution." "Oh! I thought you recommended It," she said. So I had, dozens of times. "Only for the gray ones," I said, forming a con venient distinction on the spur of the moment. Miss Travers didn't seem Inclined to pursue the subject further, much to my satisfaction, and then there was a d-MJ pa use. During the whole of our con versa .-'on the subject of It had not ceased to con tinue Its antics In the wire sage. Whether It was the sound of my voice that paused It to be thus excited 1 do not know, but at this opportunity It burst In with "III. hi!" I was getting desperate, and could think of nothing to change the sub.M't; and yet If I didn't say something I was terribly afraid the parrot would A bicycle boll sounded down road. "Are you thinking of getting a cle, Miss Travers? I said. "No. certainly not," she rep can you ask nuch a question':" Another awful pause, during I mopped the perspiration from brow. "Ra-Ba-Ha-'hel, I love you In clear tones from behind The wretched bird had act tone of my voice. "Capt. Mauley! Sir!" said Miss Trav ers, raising herself to her full Ave few one and one-half Indies. "PM '"" ''"' dress that remark to nie, sir':" I had. however, utterly collapse-l. and. burying my head In my hands. 1 leaned down on the little r-und laMe .i..,t of llie innir old slid1 "PV";.. ;:, . ... heart, i In --r:er rour. that', dvnd-t .hot It. I didn't n,ean to. Can r,i .. ",: ie lie I y;,v. U "A" right: All righir-mm theaolemn! role- of t. 1Prt ,,llm, mp ' twus i-o!!y that made that remark st now. n, i. Itl,,ev, fc the truth, If I don't. Rach,l,ldor.a. 1 love yon." I ' veIllri,, , Uk nnding In r ,.,,., ni, ,h , ' " on on her f, mde mo hope that I lid not l-H.k quite su- li a 1, l,(V,t)j. a I h-r .-yes,,, i f.-tt T .li.l in mv own. Moving nearer. I ,-lasped her hand, ami. as It . , wltlnlra wn, I put one arm gently round her ample waist. 'Now, -e shu'n't be long," nld tho gray parmt.-TIt Iliis. CLOTH FROM CAT-TAIL A New C.e fr le it,,,,,,,,, bntl'rettj Wilier I'laot. Very f,.,,-, probably, are aware that the fur, or vegetable down. f the ,r.t tail kg marketable article, superior lo feathers or cotton fr many purposes. It Is not quitf s valuable or us.ful as eld-rdown. ,t n approaches it very closely, nu.l Is- ebenper than anv of the three. Ah a matter of fart, a great many pcophj are to-day using artU les covered with cat-tall pn.du.U who have no Idea where the material comes from. It Is a vast extent of country, com paratively speaking, from which tho cat-tall to gathered. It comes .rom the swamps that put SCIENCE OF THE ANCIENTS. Tool Fnnn-I In Kurie-I i sitiprit the Pauit Wo I j To day. Prof, (ioodman eiy the thing that most Impressed liliu. when lltiiig Pompeii, was tbe resemblance between many of the Implement of l.N'ii jears ago and those of to-day. On looking at the linu tools grouped togeiber In an old factory there, be could almost lin aglue lie wan gazlug Into a modem n-t-l shop, exivit for the fact that there was a heavy coating of rust on the Iron. Sickles, bill-books, rakes, forks, axes, spades, blacksmith's tongs, hammers, soldering irons, planes, shovels. .ie, lire much like those used to-day. but the most marvelous instruments found are thohe for surgery, beautifully cmvui-' I. and of design exactly Hlmllar to tlie recently patented and reinvented. In cre.'bt. as It may appear. l'omp..ians had wire ropes of perfect eonstruoiion Their bn-n.es reveal great skill and ar tlstlc talent. The bronze brazier mid kitchener had boilers at the side. an. I taps for running off the hot water. Kuers and urns have 1-een discovered with Interior tubes, aud furnaces pre cisely like the nrrniigeuicnt now In v-gue In Meam liollers. Metal sjfes had suliMamlnl locks. Many of the lock aud keys are most Ingenious, and some very complex. The water supply of Pompeii was distributed by mean's of lead pipe laid under the streets. There were many public drinking fountains , and most of the large houses were provided with immiii. i,,,,,,.- niong tne numerous cr-eks ul lue,u '"-''hg of very b-Miitlful design. -ii ironi me ueiflunre nar t . ... ....in .Horns uiver to Cape May. The average amount gathered In the season Is a ton a day. The work of gathering and transporting It. and then weaving It Into the many forms which it must take before becoming salable, consti tutes a considerable Industry. 'tie of the most elaborate uses to which this material is put Is that of covering sofas. Very many of the sup posed plush-covered divans are really covered with a fabric of cat-tall. It wears better than the plush, and Is In finitely cheaper. The same argument that applies to the sofa Is applicable to the pillow. Very often, however, such pillows go by another name. Sofa pillows, also, nretnade of cat tall, because a pillow avowedly cov ered with cat -tall would probably be regarded with tempt. Call It Alas- kan plush, however, or Shetland wool that has been treated by a new process. nnd It will sell readily enough, and give good satisfaction, too. The family album which graces the center table lu the parlor of so many farm hoiwes Is also In many Instances adorned with cat-tail covers, although the housewife cannot be cnuviueed they are not plush, she has doubtless -aiil almost as much as if they were what she supposes, ami naturally she scoffs at any person who hints that she has been victimized. It Is becoming a prevalent custom to use cat-tall fur on the tmck of hand mirrors and brushes, which have here tofore been backed with phuih. Some say that the substitute Is really proving better than the original. Tbe head rest. too. seen on the easy cha r. Is often of cat-tail -and It is none tbe l-ws com fortable for that. Another article for which the cat-tail Is used Is the bed quilt. The elderdowu quilt Is an old-time article of luxury. The cat-tall quilt Is every whit as com fortable, and cost about one-quarter as much. In New Jersey, at least, the housewife fully appreciates the value of the cat tail quilt, however much her less well-informed sisters may scoff at the Idea. -St. I.ouls (ilobe-Democrat. j the blcy- d; "how which my Cflllie my kick. caught th' ex- in distress touche.' don't know. tones: "This" very ley." but she added, unexpected, C out no longer. apt Mm t nniiltl hold "Miss BaUd." I cried. "I m a i derlnj old hypocrite. My parrot tan t 'Corporal iel Ilia Grrtchrn. One evening lately the Kniperor Will iam was walking before the harracks of the life guards at Berlin, without at tendance. A corporal recognized him and saluted him. 1 be Kmperor ap- proncbed the man and said: "Why do you look so sad, Corporal.' Tbe Corporal did not reply. The Km peror continued, smiling, "You must certainlv have some very great grief." Yes, your Majesty," replied the Cor poral, "I would marry my sweetheart, (iretchen, the daughter of our sergennt major, but be will not give bis consent because 1 am not a sergeant." And you love her greatly? asked William. Oh, yes, very much Indeed. Then you can go to your future father-in-law and tell him that tne Emperor has nominated you sergeant. Wheu the Corporal returned io nar- racks he found on his bed the distinct ive marks of hl n-w rank, which the commander of the battalion had scut there by the Emperor's command. Charcoal I'roin Leather. The manufacture of charcoal of an Important commercial vanie, rroiu mm liinn leather waste or scrap, that Is, as charcoal produced from leather has been found to be of such peculiar value In certain processes of tempering, a plan has been brought forward for util izing the waste leather which accumu lates in shoe shops, etc., by converting It into charcoal. The plant for manu facturing this kind --f charcoal consists essentially of a metal retort, something like those" for the production of Illumi nating gas. n n.l the cost of such an lit Is cHlcmanii uoi o in u' ii wlille one man unaided Captured the (Jang. "When 1 tlrst went to New Mexico," said the capitalist, who owns a goner- . on slice of the beef trust. "I was a : young adventurer looking for anything I good from a gold mine to a soft oiliclal position. At Albuquerque I happened to fall In with the Sherdf Just when be badly needed some help In arresting a couple of desperado., and I lent S , , baud. He took me r ght under bis wing as a tenderfoot who hail and, but needed protection. Through asso ciation hU admiration crew till he urged nie to liecome a deputy and try to ferret out a gang of counterfeiters about fifty miles youth. They knew him, but I was a stmnuer. 1 "The Job suited me at that time, and j within a month I bad so Ingratiated myself with the chief of the gang that ' lie made me a member of good stand lug. There were ten of tbein when I Joined, ami they had a tine layout In .1 cave that could only be discovered by accident. It would have been au easy matter lo communicate with the Sheriff and have him send out a big posxe. but 1 I was recklessly anihitloi: to capture the whole outtlt and enjoy the attend ant glory. The only pciM-n I took into my contldence was a young doctor, wh-i was an Easterner like myself, and bent on w resting a fortune from Hie . bailees then so abundant In the West. Ile mixed me iqi some ponder that I imagine were prewired from the same formula as are the knockout drops now lu line. "One evening when the men were all busy I walked Into the cave with a big Jug of whisky diluted with the doctor's powMcrs. I told the fellows thai I wanted to pay my Initiation fee. ln n short time they were all lost to the world. I tied tlicm band and foot, and then made a chain gang of them with a couple of tough lassoes. When I marched them Into Albuquerque the town went wild and the Sheriff Issued a verbal proclamation proliMiltlng any able-lsidled male citizen from going to bed that night. Never was there a deeper red or more coats of It put on a town. I was good for all I wanted at the hands of the people, and there t laid the foundation of my fortune." Detroit Kree Press. Powerful Fond u' Clams. There Is a resident of Kent's Corners In the town of Scltuate who is ex- 1- Ingly fond of the succulent bivalve which has made Bbode Island so fa mous. I-nsl Sunday morning he placed a bag and a clam rake lu a wl I- tiarrow, which he trundled down through the mud of Hope and the val ley villages to Itlverpolnt anil thence PROOF OF SINCERITY. How an Officer Finn.! ti c T. at of n" lii-l ill I iit.il kin. lu the d iy of the "old army" on the frontier, when military posts were sometimes hundreds of indes from any civilized plicc, there w.ts l;lt!e lo do lu the way of amu-cmem in the winter lime, when llie post was snow l-ound. and It was then Ilia I the reputation the army has for card playing and -Irink-In,- was gained. Ami It Is true that a great deal of both un done ai that lime. It was !n these days thai an event transpired that showed that the princi pal actor had the coinage of his con-vh-tlotis, and that he was most certain ly born under a lucky star. It was after a very "wet" slag dinner party, ami all bad partaken most freely of the wine, ami. strange as it may seem, the subject that came up for .llcnson was the Mohammedan rcl glon. The Mussulmans believe lu fate. To llietn a man's fate is written above, aud the time of his death Is set. and nothing can advance it. Well, this belief had been dsi iissed long and earnestly. The pros and cons bad been gone over at length, till one olllcer wauled to know of what Use was reason If every one was bom with a tag of destiny at tached. One olllcer finally arose and said there was no use of discussing the matter any further; the only way was to make a practical lest of the question, ami that he would give him self as a subject. Could a man will fully dispose of his life when the fatal moment had been chosen at his birth from iikive? lie could get no one to try the ex periment oil him. I'lnally a wager was made. "Who w ill pay you If I lose?" said the subject, as be drew his pistol aud showed that It was loaded, lie placed tbe pistol againsl bis temple and pulled the tracer. The pistol. missed lire. "A Joke." yelled the crowd. The fatalist smiled, ami. reeocklng the pistol, aimed il with a steady baud at the clock on the wall. Ile II rod. au I the bullet crashed through the center of the dial. "Apologize to me How." he said. "I have wmi llie bet. I always believed lu fate." Louisville Courier Journal. .Moved lo a Hal, r Place. While replenishing his linen at the men's furnishing department the tine looking old gentleman tlrst chuckled and then Indulged In hearty laughter. This calbsl for an explanation and be gave It. "Pardon me, young man'" be said In his old school manner, "bill I never enter a place of this kind without recalling a bitter experience of my own of which I can now ntVoid to see llie ludicrous side. "I once clerked for a big wholesale bouse In Philadelphia. When 1 told llie proprietor, who bad shown a kindly In terest In me, that 1 had decided to go Wist ainl try to work up a business of , my own. he advised me to make a dial In the Pennsylvania oil Held, toward which the lirst great rush had set In. Ik would furnish the stock and I was to Kiy when I could. i "My business block was a long, low, narrow building of wood, but I packed It with the usual equipment of a cloth ing store and took lu money with both hands, for llie mushroom village ihroiig eil with speculators, well borers, well blowers, engineers, surveyors, day la borers, gamblers and camp followers. I bad visions of fabulous wealth when there broke loose the worst gang of thugs nnd robbers that ever delicti the1 law. They burglarized my stoic three i times In ns ninny nights before 1 would believe that lightning struck twice hi the same place. Then I hired a watch man, weighted It 1 in down with revolv ers and started for the county scat to stir up the authorities. While I was away my watchman helped tbe gang loot the whole establishment ami haul the plunder away lu wagons. I could find Just three linen dusters and sit cheap neckties. I packed them lu a shirt box, sent them to the sheriff, came to Pctrolt and prospered."-1 let roit Free Press. LET -US ALL LAUGH. JOKES FROM THE PEMS I ARIOUS HUMORIST. OP I'lruaiint Incident (crarra taa World Over - fu jiitaa thai A ra Cheer ful lo Old or Young KiinnT tclcctiona tliul You Will KnJuJ. Iter Word of Praia.'. "Miss Cayenne complimented you very highly nfier you told that story at the dinner table," icmai'k.sl the young man. "She liked that story, did she?" "No. Hut she thought It Illustrated a very admirable trait In your charac ter. It allowed that you never went back on an old friend." Washington Star. Ilnatnraa Mrthoda, Itystandcr Wasn't that a pretty stiff price you asked that mail for those (dines? Storekeeper Yes, that's business. They're not good for anything, so, of course he won't come again. Therefore we might as well get as much as w e can out of hi in. Boston Transcript. Irtcrulo Wmurr. "If you haven't been takln' a bath I'll eat my hat!" declared Mr. Weary Wat kins. "Cu-'ks I'll have tuovn atseotud Up. I'ldn.il liri. "TVhut d'ye nifin by It! "Election U; I bill's all." hid! a Scr olls Journal. trurl. Hard lo li.-cldc. Mrs. Mulligan - Do ye feel better this morning. Mm. H'Toole? Mrs. O'Toole-l do, and I lieu again I don't. Mrs. Mulligan That's Kid, fur It's ha mid to know w hether to say Ol'm sorry or glad. Harper's Itazar. "Ilirrc I'hrcra for the Fat I.aJjr." In Ilia hliavinu llriiah. lle-ll-iw the blithering blazes did my shaving brush get full of sand, I want to know? She Oh! Some must have accldcnlal ly got Into It when I was using It to la i her my bicycle tire to llnd where the puncture was. Indianapolis Journal. 4 fH you notice now well carved the turkey at Mr. dlu- She- Ild New 'money tier? lli-Y- lie evidently spent bis ear ly life lu a Jolnt Not Krllrc.l. "You needn't put on so many airs." said a '" model to a "IHl wheel. "You're only llxed over with a new chain and saddle." "That may be." replied the Tsl wheel, modestly, "but for all that I'm not re tired yet."-New York Journal. IilftVrciiee M a Pell. "It was so dark lu tbe parlor when young Or. Plummcr came In that I didn't notice he bail shaved off his inns tuche." "Didn't you? I felt the dllTereiiia while you were getting a light."- Cleve. laud Plain Dottier. Nol Half. Artist I flatter myself this last pic ture of mine Is an excellent one. Another artist -My dear fellow, you don't Hatter yourself half ns much as you Mailer the plclure.-Itoxbury Ca ret to. THE LATE MR. BROWN A Queer Vermont Township. In Windsor County, Vermont, is via Appoiiaug to the frozen shores of !,( n queer a town as there Is lu Hie Cowesett Pay. I'niled States. Its name Is llalllmore, The Ice covered the bay, and the S-'lt- nnd It possesses little of Interest save ; uate man was compelled to wheel his n hlslory lu which none of Its Inhale barrow along the beach almost to W ar- Hams express the slightest pride. Hal- More Fun. Mother Instead of beating the cat, Willie, I wish you would amuse your self with your doll. Willie Yes; but when I beat the cat he howls, ami the doll doesn't. Hus ton (ilobe. Prnaii cllvn Drllahta. I'ud ly I was talking with old Bruce Just now. lie's a nice old gentleman. He says he does not think that he ever told a lie In his life. Duddy He has a great pleasure be fore him. Itostou Transcript. wick light before be found a place whero be could dig. His qu s was siie cemful, however, for when he readied Pbeulx on his return Journey the bar row contained a I ag filled with a b' slid of as ulce, big, Juicy clams as the dig ger averred he's "ever sot oyiw on." He said he "didn't mind the tramp, the day was flue." He "wanted a mess ' o' clann and went and dug 'em, that wuz all." tlinore Is fairly old, as American towns go, having been set off from Caven dish ami organized In ITU.'!. It then had ilT.'i pr.'sumably ambitious and hopeful Inhabitants, but every census taken since then has revealed a steady growth-downward, lu Ihiki the p'ncii bud lost one citizen, and llie subsequent record stands as follows: In l.Hlo, l'n7 Inhabitants,; IHHH. "ill; is;ii., 171); IMO, l.-i.'.; lH.-,0, Yl lSiKl, 1 Hi; 1S70, K"I; ISSl. In A IHaturber Kquelchad. "What did you stop that clock your room for, .lane?" "Because, mum, the pLigiley thing lias some sort of lit every moriiln,' ilium, Jest when I wants to sleep," Detroit Kree Press. A Ucograiililcul Note. Kent's Corners Is some sixteen or 71, and IS'.hi, f,l. I o-day Hie number Is seventeen miles from w here the clams f,;i. and one of the .V.I spends bis w inters wpre du2. and the distance covered suggests that some folks In S-'ituaie re "powerful fond o' clams." Provi dence Journal. eqiilpm-'i ..v 1 can eiisllv operate the whole. The shrinkage of the leather In thus becom ing charcoal Is said to be not more than r,n per cent. Ills "Inn." ...Mr, d'lt iey," sn M the Rev. rath-r Mi Miirph.". "why do I never see pvrick at church now':" Mrs. (i Itooicy sl k her bead sadly. Is It anarchism?" . V.,rse than th-t. yer riverence.' is It atheism?" War--, y-r river-n-e." -What Is It. '"" i. i, ..omatlMii. "-Pittsburg Tel, graph. Mule In ll-pensst'le In War. V 'i-ersiau a-giiu't '"' 't' ",urca , s-rin-e i"-tucle. Kvery three sol W en -n donkey. Mr there Is nelth- ' .. r ....ininlss.irlat. On O baggag" mini i -.is- s ,.. np Id r ,1,1s d.-nkey is !"" " ,ith .S 's pr" ri" ' "" ' 1 ,&,si..l.all t he veil-d wife of . I...rid.s t:ie o-.i-i. and woman marry, the to d.scover who Is to Most Widely Copied Poets. The crltliw affect to look down upon newspaper poetry, but after all the newspaper versifier Is the poet of the people. The magazine pod m-ier wins such a close place In the bear's of the great masses. The crlt.es found fault with Eugene Field, but He people mourned his loss as that of few poets hail been mourned. Afi-r all. perhai. the people are r'ght. and popularity Is the true test of poetry, for the poet's mission Is to toiidi the hearts of bis readers, and the great, r the number of his readers the more m arly acli.cved his aim. Judging by tic v iit to which their verses are copied, the most popu lar newspaper I is are Prank I.. Stan ton. Will T. Hale nnd Prank Putnam. Each writes a poem as h s dally task, and each poem Is reprinted In a score of newspapers, Insuring an audience of a tnlllloti for e:i' ii one or Ills Such an edition Is beyond the nearly verses In the Soldiers' Home at Hrattlcboro'. Nothing ever happened lu (he town, not even a crime, nnd It has no distin guished sons or daughters. The houses are (tea tiered over the territory Im lud ed within Itultlinore's limits, nowhere ( funning anything like a village, and there Is no stoic, no church, no post olllee, lmr even a cider mill. The pen- ; pie are prosperous enough, as Vermont , farmers dellne prosperity, but they keep moving away whenever oppor tunity offers, and nobody ever moves In. It Is twenty years since a wedding took place there. -Hostoii Kvelilng Transcript. Progress. He who truly honors the past cuniiot afford to ibsplse or overlook anything that has an upward and onward ten dency, or that carries lo further head way that which has already made so inU' h advancement. If the conserva tive man points to llie fallacy of much that Is attempted, to the mistakes and blunders of zeal without knowledge, aud even to the seeming injury caused by unfortunate experiments, we can fiond Medicine. "Well, nurse, la tho patient taking; that tablespoon fill of brandy that I or dered lil in till morning?" "Itatber, doctor. He's twenty ahead. Pun. Wh lie Turnrd lu Ilia Orara. He died, the bright comedinn. Who'd shot so much bright folly, And on hia tombstone they Inscribed: "Here lies a good, 'stiff' Jolly." Detroit Free Press. On Her Mind. "Tho leading lady seems to have something on her mind." "Yes, her divorce trial and the mati nee are set for the same hour and she l wondering which she will give to her understudy." Detroit Journal. Pelf-Kvld tut. Mrs. Illande-Tbey say that Maglln married for mouey. Mrs. Kwarvu Anybody could see that who ever saw hia wife. Ilostuu Tran script. A llrara Rlrt. "Your daughter, Mr. Hanker, Is very cohl aud coy toward men, It seems to nie." "Quito so. She Is a brave defender of my uillllons."-Pllegemlu Itlnetter. Johnny- firandinnmnia, Is heaveti marked on the map? Ijramlmamiiia -llless the boy, no! Johnny -Well, I've Just found hell -only they spell It with a "u."-Tbe Sketch. Chronicle k-' i.i: W' i, a mini . .1 l.....'ns " . The supremacy. That point dpo.- ed of, there is peace. wildcat dreams of those wno write '"i" , . or wnose worn uwu io n km ....... v- eoiiipiitiimehts of a transition sinte, and are but the light chaff which Is soon blowu away, leaving the good and heavy grain for future service. j Millions of Minor Cnlna. A few years ago 4'iQ bronze 2-eent pieces were set afloat. Three million of these are still outstanding. Three million .'t-ccut nickel pieces are cattcrcd o'O' the t'nlted States, but It la very rarely tl.Q one Is seen. A promising mine w ill as surely rutv mau In time a a promising noise. , nnatua for magazines appears first In books.-Chicago Times Herald. UlhVrent f.rio T fiolit. Twenty-four rat B"l'l Is all gold; 2'J carat gold has 21' parts of gold. 1 of silver sod 1 of n.pper; IS carat gold has 18 parts of gold and 3 each of silver and copper; 11! carat gold is half gold nd has 3U, purls of silver and S of copper. Its specific gravity Is about 15; pure gold l l'J. No niaa can become great, iinlcfryhe I Deoola exaggerate bis best points. I Only a Ml-lit Chance. "Splffeiis has quit the photography business and Is now a llorlt," remark ed McSwillig.'iii. "(lb, well," replied Sqillldlg, "It Is not nnidi of a slep from poses to posies." Pillsburg ( broii Idc Telegraph. K. v i-ocity. "If you have a milllou you can get in to the four hundred." "Yes, and If you have four hundrnl you are likely to stay In tbe million." Harlem Life. A I'mlue nf I'lrtjr. Tom Is Miss Saintly really as ploua as people Ihlnk she Is? Ml hd li, yea; I'm certain She Is.O Turn - What makes you so sure? Kthd - Why, ber clothes fit her horribly-. New York Times. Square. "You recall the trader with the chin whiskers? Yes? Well, It turns out that he was a swindler." The other lieiilglited savage shrugged bis shoulders. "I Imagined as much," ho rejoined. "Indeed, I remarked to my wife when wc bad llnkshed li 1 ill that I didn't feel an If I had eaten a square meal. There are Instincts that can't be deceived, you know." Omaha Tribune. Haw to Trll. "You should have been with us on some of our autumn excursions," she was saying. "Did you gather any mushrooms?" asked Willie Washington. "Yes. Can you tell a toadstool from a mushroom?" "Soinetlmiw." "How?" "Ity looking at the obituary column." Washington Slur. Item Day Abolished. The Preiich simpleton, Mous. Callno, sometimes turns out ft) be a wlsiynan. Some of his frleii Jj were recently talk lug about the terrors of rent day. "Kent (Jay used to be terrible to me, too," mild Mous. Callno, "but I have found a way Q deprive It of all Its ter " "How do you do It?" they all asked. "I pay my reut the day before," h Qswervd. .