it A A mi ill .i ....
V
III! All rlRlit! Now
i, innir!" said tin
pay parrot.
I regrei iu -
, i . fikimir man that
Snip, the dally milk is tbe
fJVrn.t in the luteal up-to-
Si'S-nln-nt least, no,
" word slipped ut
Tan' "., tl right -M of BO.
' ..... In receipt of a pell-
,., mull private Income to boot,
anchor In my present abode
..,istln t weathering many
Yi murm yet.
. nirli.Mit ii known relation In
willingly fe" m wltb the
k10 lSt K1..M.M pick up my
! slangs!.!.' '" M frlen,, nD,,
;fft dipt. Travers. late It. N..
' ttt left one "f ''K9 OU ,l,e
Lm of Africa wlille rapturing a
ai pensioned on in n.. m..
,th:in myself, and now lived
, ilster-a most comfortable
fit, fair, and or thereabout
jdjuiiiliis house to mine w
r'llimd of guidon. We bnd al
,1 n well together, our tnstoa
wltioiis were Hlmllar. apd we
' met durUm our naval careers.
.... ..... ..nflinu! v ttenn
t er i nan u" c"
tod with, but. noing i" '
.like her lirtlicr, we were soon
-ml j.
Travers an 1 myself had each
:e parrot bis tbe common Afrl
it. with a red-tipped tall, and
y purer variety, wltnoui a trace
hut otherwise similar.
1 gut lone settled down In my
tirten. aud got every""" 8I"I
Sir what seemed so to me a very
ni dleretKv, as 1 know to-day
almost unconsciously at first,
to fct-t what a lonely old Isieh-
1.15 ami what a set-off to all my
.longings the figure of Miss
Travers would !e by my H re
ft it lust here the course of my
Am began t' inuke Itself felt.
slivnrss in the presence of tbe
I i had dogged my footsteps
r earliest recollections. Give
of wind In the bay of Hlseay,
In III the tropics, or twenty
jl it.ion deck, wet through to the
I dipt. Mauley, late or tbe r.
serviic, will thank you for It,
i!-r life well worth living; hut
user of delicate attentions to
sex, Intensely ns he Inwardly
their pretty ways. Cnpt. Man-
not, no, he certainly does not,
to advantage.
A fund of pets generally, I
antipathy to cats, especially at
am not aware that our neigh
was particularly beneficial In
t or other qualifications to
:istitution, but I know that mi
' Inhuman enough to start an
caiinonade on my numerous
I visitors, I was frequently mi-
eel a respectable night's ret.
nal Min k and white Tom de
fines! efforts. If average cats
' lives, I inn sure this one must
'lap nineteen, and I began to won
sit sort of uncanny being this
"M liad no objection to letting my
ifl'iss apparently through Its
:liiut suffering any Inconven
lat after nil It must have been
marksmanship, for one after-
law my enemy quietly walking
p fence that divided my back
Jjroni rant. Travers' '
on it.
simile
f
1
Punctually Bt 3 o'clock I jonne.1 ,,.
Hpruces, uttlre. and wltl, a .mar, ,,"
er lu my buttonhole--,;,,,. ,
waallpped over the ,.,,,". MUJ
Itacbel was there. looking as fresh ,Mn
I I """"W with the dew
which I consider a very pretty
...... nan.. ,t. welcome with
"', "in lies, i Here, I.,, -,, tile
....... y parrot in it cage. ,, ,.,., ,
j..-. u.nmciu I tie Nlillliner bouse. 1
...... u.Micci unit It bud I ii B(.t 011l ,
-......-.. . siiai on all tine .lays, nu.l
.r us i (M,u, Nw ,,!,; ,,,, Ir.11H
r-i.ii . miiKe me think they bad any
liiispeci my imposition.
'"""'"" Willi my In,,. ,,, t
nml nvnlil.,,1 ...i ...
4 nonet. or u , anv
uy wnutever.
nv,. . .
mi an right; my old friend
eueery anil MUs Hacb-l
liiioHcu me great attention. I ,m,i
hear I'olly rubbing her beak up and
uuwn i ue wires of tbe cage, and swln
...g oiicKwanis ana forwards lu
metal ring.
i 1 1. . i... . . .
.ue ineui i apt. Travel's went
indoors to get bis supply of ticcessarli
ror tbe evening, and, turning to me,
.hiss i ravers commented:
iiy-ine-oy, tapt. Jlanley. how Is
your parrot? I have not seen It out lu
the garden lately."
i felt my heart beating a bit faster
but with every semblance of outward
calm I mji It :
o; tne fact Is, It s not been at all
well; In fact. It Is dead."
"Dead:" she exclaimed. "Well,
never. What did It die of V"
l really Uou t know," I replied. "It
died quite suddenly about a week l'o,
"I hope our I'olly Isu't going to follow
sun, sue continued. "She has been
very dull and quiet the last few days,
out seems a tut more lively this even
lug. I don't think she has xkeii
word all the week."
Ihank goodness!" I Inwardly ejacu
lated.
iiiings wore beginning to look a bit
awkward, and I east about for some
thing to change the course of coiiv.
mi hum. i a in not a qtilcK thinker,
however, and before I could collect my
wits .Miss Travers continued:
"Dear, dear, to think your poor Pol
ly s dead! Well, I am sorry! I should
be sorry to lose you, I'olly, dear," she
said, addressing the parrot. "But, real
ly. (.'apt. Mauley," looking me straight
iwtunlty was too good to be
quietly getting my nlrgun I
l''adv aim
this time, and without a
rpuss dropped on to m v flow-
i t dead as the proverbial door
filiation, however, was of short
i for to my horror and dismay,
j-'ling to pick up his unfortu
'f waud give It decent burial,
l't niy shot bad passed right
Villi unlucky animal and killed
f lxir's parrot, which had been
itl'Hun Itself In a little summer-
" ' atood at the bottom of the
t i
'1 MEAN THAT IS TO SAY VOC.
SIR.
; '4 staggore.l at my position; I
Parrot was n minr,,,0 C,
.Mlss Travers. and hnw I nonlil
' w.alu uiy careliwsiipsn I mni.i
foe. Suddenly a wav out nf
J," i"'-eiueu useir to my
T ' 1 Hastened
''f- I knew
"W. a 1(1 Uniit l I.- I .. -
"" oe iiuck ior
"ile tlnio i ... . .
A " 'iiiiryiug uiuoors
yS inv ni-t. .,nHHn4 ....
I ivfii !. ....i... ...
iNiiineu tne end or Its
ri1' Ink In iniitaftn.. nr it ,i...
r'lnrad.'. ami il..,n.,
i " 1 Ktenned ll'i.ti
ul.stlii,!l.,i the living for the
7 '. mile i I in,ni.i . .i
Scat. I.. - "seiml
-ti. own irnpi...n .
to put It Into
that the Traverses
Tne
Scow
I1 my parrot would not rendllv
strangers. n,i I ho,P(, tlmt
?"!t had L-ot ..i
" It would have forgotten
r aeeonmlisl,,,, .,,,,. o.
trlskir. '
lies the head that
Vl. sang sotllP nrwt n-lin
never wore n...i.u.
!ltean .. .". ".
I 0 the torture of my mind,
fl ' ."" !l '''urse of duplicity.
i'l'eabe.! f roses.
:",ni'r;' the end of the follow
" t I happened to be out In
."" I saw my old friend come
umiTi ii,.. , ...
, - .-c i-atn or his own
t ainirarrv-onp rvltv
'"V T ...
- wis r..i,.e, criwj;
4 . aI"aln, you're quite
I " s ,(
In to In
she waV
en up? Bachel has
" J;,r'Ut Cl.nil
It v..,,- . .
uenitn, as
e.i;iH' in ue i. .
, e wrong.
'"",Q l,it p,,orlJr"
1 t ill rds sllppe.1 out.
ii ' ; 1 1,",'n n right as nine-
''at particular sum should
s; "U)re f'tltude than its
t7,iTr Wq ble to
ui tiie way.
'i'-u "',',1, IK'll:'Is' Mid Capt.
la d ; t,)rue over ,be u,"n'
il ! f rp:i ln ,,le "iimnior
A It 1 lla11 In after
.rJ rU a f'xxl glass of
.ur niahtoan
r" ,
In the face. "I can't make our Tolly
out. Sometimes I could almost believe
she was a different bird. She hasn't
once seemed pleased to see me all the
week."
I felt the blood rapidly rising to my
checks and forehead, but I trusted to
my tanned complexion for It uot to
show. I feebly replied; "Perhaps she's
moulting."
It was an unlucky slip. "Well, now
I come to think," said Miss Travers,
"I noticed that Its tall looked much
paler after Its bath the other morning,
aud the water was quite red. Is that
a sign of moulting?"
"Yes, I often used to notice !t about
my own parrot."
"But I thought your bird had no red
about It," she pursued.
"Confound the woman's perslstnce,"
I thought, but I stammered; "I mean
that la to say you see I've noticed It
In nil red parrots I have ever come
across. They shouldn't be bathed at
all; It Injures their constitution."
"Oh! I thought you recommended It,"
she said.
So I had, dozens of times. "Only for
the gray ones," I said, forming a con
venient distinction on the spur of the
moment.
Miss Travers didn't seem Inclined to
pursue the subject further, much to my
satisfaction, and then there was a d-MJ
pa use.
During the whole of our con versa .-'on
the subject of It had not ceased to con
tinue Its antics In the wire sage.
Whether It was the sound of my voice
that paused It to be thus excited 1 do
not know, but at this opportunity It
burst In with "III. hi!"
I was getting desperate, and could
think of nothing to change the sub.M't;
and yet If I didn't say something I
was terribly afraid the parrot would
A bicycle boll sounded down
road.
"Are you thinking of getting a
cle, Miss Travers? I said.
"No. certainly not," she rep
can you ask nuch a question':"
Another awful pause, during
I mopped the perspiration from
brow.
"Ra-Ba-Ha-'hel, I love you
In clear tones from behind
The wretched bird had
act tone of my voice.
"Capt. Mauley! Sir!" said Miss Trav
ers, raising herself to her full Ave few
one and one-half Indies. "PM '"" ''"'
dress that remark to nie, sir':"
I had. however, utterly collapse-l.
and. burying my head In my hands. 1
leaned down on the little r-und laMe
.i..,t of llie innir old slid1
"PV";.. ;:, . ... heart, i
In --r:er
rour. that', dvnd-t .hot It. I didn't
n,ean to. Can r,i .. ",:
ie lie I y;,v. U
"A" right: All righir-mm theaolemn!
role- of t. 1Prt ,,llm, mp
' twus i-o!!y that made that remark
st now. n, i. Itl,,ev, fc
the truth, If I don't. Rach,l,ldor.a.
1 love yon." I
' veIllri,, , Uk
nnding In r ,.,,., ni, ,h , '
" on on her f, mde mo hope that I
lid not l-H.k quite su- li a 1, l,(V,t)j. a I
h-r .-yes,,, i f.-tt T .li.l in mv own.
Moving nearer. I ,-lasped her hand,
ami. as It . , wltlnlra wn, I put
one arm gently round her ample waist.
'Now, -e shu'n't be long," nld tho
gray parmt.-TIt Iliis.
CLOTH FROM CAT-TAIL
A New C.e fr le it,,,,,,,,, bntl'rettj
Wilier I'laot.
Very f,.,,-, probably, are aware that
the fur, or vegetable down. f the ,r.t
tail kg marketable article, superior lo
feathers or cotton fr many purposes.
It Is not quitf s valuable or us.ful as
eld-rdown. ,t n approaches it very
closely, nu.l Is- ebenper than anv of the
three. Ah a matter of fart, a great
many pcophj are to-day using artU les
covered with cat-tall pn.du.U who
have no Idea where the material comes
from.
It Is a vast extent of country, com
paratively speaking, from which tho
cat-tall to gathered. It comes .rom the
swamps
that put
SCIENCE OF THE ANCIENTS.
Tool Fnnn-I In Kurie-I i sitiprit the
Pauit Wo I j To day.
Prof, (ioodman eiy the thing that
most Impressed liliu. when lltiiig
Pompeii, was tbe resemblance between
many of the Implement of l.N'ii jears
ago and those of to-day. On looking at
the linu tools grouped togeiber In an
old factory there, be could almost lin
aglue lie wan gazlug Into a modem n-t-l
shop, exivit for the fact that there was
a heavy coating of rust on the Iron.
Sickles, bill-books, rakes, forks, axes,
spades, blacksmith's tongs, hammers,
soldering irons, planes, shovels. .ie,
lire much like those used to-day. but the
most marvelous instruments found are
thohe for surgery, beautifully cmvui-' I.
and of design exactly Hlmllar to tlie
recently patented and reinvented. In
cre.'bt. as It may appear. l'omp..ians
had wire ropes of perfect eonstruoiion
Their bn-n.es reveal great skill and ar
tlstlc talent. The bronze brazier mid
kitchener had boilers at the side. an. I
taps for running off the hot water.
Kuers and urns have 1-een discovered
with Interior tubes, aud furnaces pre
cisely like the nrrniigeuicnt now In
v-gue In Meam liollers. Metal sjfes
had suliMamlnl locks. Many of the
lock aud keys are most Ingenious, and
some very complex. The water supply
of Pompeii was distributed by mean's
of lead pipe laid under the streets.
There were many public drinking
fountains , and most of the large houses
were provided with immiii. i,,,,,,.-
niong tne numerous cr-eks ul lue,u '"-''hg of very b-Miitlful design.
-ii ironi me ueiflunre nar t
. ...
....in .Horns uiver to Cape May. The
average amount gathered In the season
Is a ton a day. The work of gathering
and transporting It. and then weaving
It Into the many forms which it must
take before becoming salable, consti
tutes a considerable Industry.
'tie of the most elaborate uses to
which this material is put Is that of
covering sofas. Very many of the sup
posed plush-covered divans are really
covered with a fabric of cat-tall. It
wears better than the plush, and Is In
finitely cheaper.
The same argument that applies to
the sofa Is applicable to the pillow.
Very often, however, such pillows go
by another name.
Sofa pillows, also, nretnade of cat
tall, because a pillow avowedly cov
ered with cat -tall would probably be
regarded with tempt. Call It Alas-
kan plush, however, or Shetland wool
that has been treated by a new process.
nnd It will sell readily enough, and give
good satisfaction, too.
The family album which graces the
center table lu the parlor of so many
farm hoiwes Is also In many Instances
adorned with cat-tail covers, although
the housewife cannot be cnuviueed they
are not plush, she has doubtless -aiil
almost as much as if they were what
she supposes, ami naturally she scoffs
at any person who hints that she has
been victimized.
It Is becoming a prevalent custom to
use cat-tall fur on the tmck of hand
mirrors and brushes, which have here
tofore been backed with phuih. Some
say that the substitute Is really proving
better than the original. Tbe head
rest. too. seen on the easy cha r. Is often
of cat-tail -and It is none tbe l-ws com
fortable for that.
Another article for which the cat-tail
Is used Is the bed quilt. The elderdowu
quilt Is an old-time article of luxury.
The cat-tall quilt Is every whit as com
fortable, and cost about one-quarter as
much. In New Jersey, at least, the
housewife fully appreciates the value
of the cat tail quilt, however much her
less well-informed sisters may scoff at
the Idea. -St. I.ouls (ilobe-Democrat. j
the
blcy-
d; "how
which
my
Cflllie
my kick.
caught th' ex-
in distress touche.'
don't know.
tones:
"This" very
ley."
but she added,
unexpected, C
out no longer.
apt
Mm
t nniiltl hold
"Miss BaUd." I cried. "I m a i
derlnj old hypocrite. My parrot tan t
'Corporal iel Ilia Grrtchrn.
One evening lately the Kniperor Will
iam was walking before the harracks
of the life guards at Berlin, without at
tendance. A corporal recognized him
and saluted him. 1 be Kmperor ap-
proncbed the man and said:
"Why do you look so sad, Corporal.'
Tbe Corporal did not reply. The Km
peror continued, smiling, "You must
certainlv have some very great grief."
Yes, your Majesty," replied the Cor
poral, "I would marry my sweetheart,
(iretchen, the daughter of our sergennt
major, but be will not give bis consent
because 1 am not a sergeant."
And you love her greatly? asked
William.
Oh, yes, very much Indeed.
Then you can go to your future
father-in-law and tell him that tne
Emperor has nominated you sergeant.
Wheu the Corporal returned io nar-
racks he found on his bed the distinct
ive marks of hl n-w rank, which the
commander of the battalion had scut
there by the Emperor's command.
Charcoal I'roin Leather.
The manufacture of charcoal of an
Important commercial vanie, rroiu mm
liinn leather waste or scrap, that Is, as
charcoal produced from leather has
been found to be of such peculiar value
In certain processes of tempering, a
plan has been brought forward for util
izing the waste leather which accumu
lates in shoe shops, etc., by converting
It into charcoal. The plant for manu
facturing this kind --f charcoal consists
essentially of a metal retort, something
like those" for the production of Illumi
nating gas. n n.l the cost of such an
lit Is cHlcmanii uoi o in u' ii
wlille one man unaided
Captured the (Jang.
"When 1 tlrst went to New Mexico,"
said the capitalist, who owns a goner- .
on slice of the beef trust. "I was a :
young adventurer looking for anything I
good from a gold mine to a soft oiliclal
position. At Albuquerque I happened
to fall In with the Sherdf Just when be
badly needed some help In arresting a
couple of desperado., and I lent S ,
, baud. He took me r ght under bis
wing as a tenderfoot who hail and,
but needed protection. Through asso
ciation hU admiration crew till he
urged nie to liecome a deputy and try
to ferret out a gang of counterfeiters
about fifty miles youth. They knew
him, but I was a stmnuer. 1
"The Job suited me at that time, and j
within a month I bad so Ingratiated
myself with the chief of the gang that '
lie made me a member of good stand
lug. There were ten of tbein when I
Joined, ami they had a tine layout In .1
cave that could only be discovered by
accident. It would have been au easy
matter lo communicate with the Sheriff
and have him send out a big posxe. but 1
I was recklessly anihitloi: to capture
the whole outtlt and enjoy the attend
ant glory. The only pciM-n I took into
my contldence was a young doctor, wh-i
was an Easterner like myself, and bent
on w resting a fortune from Hie . bailees
then so abundant In the West. Ile
mixed me iqi some ponder that I
imagine were prewired from the same
formula as are the knockout drops now
lu line.
"One evening when the men were all
busy I walked Into the cave with a big
Jug of whisky diluted with the doctor's
powMcrs. I told the fellows thai I
wanted to pay my Initiation fee. ln n
short time they were all lost to the
world. I tied tlicm band and foot, and
then made a chain gang of them with a
couple of tough lassoes. When I
marched them Into Albuquerque the
town went wild and the Sheriff Issued
a verbal proclamation proliMiltlng any
able-lsidled male citizen from going
to bed that night. Never was there a
deeper red or more coats of It put on a
town. I was good for all I wanted at
the hands of the people, and there t
laid the foundation of my fortune."
Detroit Kree Press.
Powerful Fond u' Clams.
There Is a resident of Kent's Corners
In the town of Scltuate who is ex- 1-
Ingly fond of the succulent bivalve
which has made Bbode Island so fa
mous. I-nsl Sunday morning he placed
a bag and a clam rake lu a wl I-
tiarrow, which he trundled down
through the mud of Hope and the val
ley villages to Itlverpolnt anil thence
PROOF OF SINCERITY.
How an Officer Finn.! ti c T. at of n"
lii-l ill I iit.il kin.
lu the d iy of the "old army" on the
frontier, when military posts were
sometimes hundreds of indes from any
civilized plicc, there w.ts l;lt!e lo do
lu the way of amu-cmem in the winter
lime, when llie post was snow l-ound.
and It was then Ilia I the reputation the
army has for card playing and -Irink-In,-
was gained. Ami It Is true that a
great deal of both un done ai that
lime.
It was !n these days thai an event
transpired that showed that the princi
pal actor had the coinage of his con-vh-tlotis,
and that he was most certain
ly born under a lucky star. It was
after a very "wet" slag dinner party,
ami all bad partaken most freely of
the wine, ami. strange as it may seem,
the subject that came up for .llcnson
was the Mohammedan rcl glon. The
Mussulmans believe lu fate. To llietn
a man's fate is written above, aud the
time of his death Is set. and nothing
can advance it. Well, this belief had
been dsi iissed long and earnestly. The
pros and cons bad been gone over at
length, till one olllcer wauled to know
of what Use was reason If every one
was bom with a tag of destiny at
tached. One olllcer finally arose and
said there was no use of discussing
the matter any further; the only way
was to make a practical lest of the
question, ami that he would give him
self as a subject. Could a man will
fully dispose of his life when the fatal
moment had been chosen at his birth
from iikive?
lie could get no one to try the ex
periment oil him. I'lnally a wager
was made.
"Who w ill pay you If I lose?" said the
subject, as be drew his pistol aud
showed that It was loaded, lie placed
tbe pistol againsl bis temple and pulled
the tracer. The pistol. missed lire.
"A Joke." yelled the crowd.
The fatalist smiled, ami. reeocklng
the pistol, aimed il with a steady baud
at the clock on the wall. Ile II rod. au I
the bullet crashed through the center
of the dial.
"Apologize to me How." he said. "I
have wmi llie bet. I always believed lu
fate." Louisville Courier Journal.
.Moved lo a Hal, r Place.
While replenishing his linen at the
men's furnishing department the tine
looking old gentleman tlrst chuckled
and then Indulged In hearty laughter.
This calbsl for an explanation and be
gave It. "Pardon me, young man'" be
said In his old school manner, "bill I
never enter a place of this kind without
recalling a bitter experience of my own
of which I can now ntVoid to see llie
ludicrous side.
"I once clerked for a big wholesale
bouse In Philadelphia. When 1 told llie
proprietor, who bad shown a kindly In
terest In me, that 1 had decided to go
Wist ainl try to work up a business of ,
my own. he advised me to make a dial
In the Pennsylvania oil Held, toward
which the lirst great rush had set In. Ik
would furnish the stock and I was to
Kiy when I could. i
"My business block was a long, low,
narrow building of wood, but I packed
It with the usual equipment of a cloth
ing store and took lu money with both
hands, for llie mushroom village ihroiig
eil with speculators, well borers, well
blowers, engineers, surveyors, day la
borers, gamblers and camp followers.
I bad visions of fabulous wealth when
there broke loose the worst gang of
thugs nnd robbers that ever delicti the1
law. They burglarized my stoic three i
times In ns ninny nights before 1 would
believe that lightning struck twice hi
the same place. Then I hired a watch
man, weighted It 1 in down with revolv
ers and started for the county scat to
stir up the authorities. While I was
away my watchman helped tbe gang
loot the whole establishment ami haul
the plunder away lu wagons. I could
find Just three linen dusters and sit
cheap neckties. I packed them lu a
shirt box, sent them to the sheriff, came
to Pctrolt and prospered."-1 let roit
Free Press.
LET -US ALL LAUGH.
JOKES FROM THE PEMS
I ARIOUS HUMORIST.
OP
I'lruaiint Incident (crarra taa
World Over - fu jiitaa thai A ra Cheer
ful lo Old or Young KiinnT
tclcctiona tliul You Will KnJuJ.
Iter Word of Praia.'.
"Miss Cayenne complimented you
very highly nfier you told that story at
the dinner table," icmai'k.sl the young
man.
"She liked that story, did she?"
"No. Hut she thought It Illustrated
a very admirable trait In your charac
ter. It allowed that you never went
back on an old friend." Washington
Star.
Ilnatnraa Mrthoda,
Itystandcr Wasn't that a pretty stiff
price you asked that mail for those
(dines?
Storekeeper Yes, that's business.
They're not good for anything, so, of
course he won't come again. Therefore
we might as well get as much as w e can
out of hi in. Boston Transcript.
Irtcrulo Wmurr.
"If you haven't been takln' a bath I'll
eat my hat!" declared Mr. Weary Wat
kins.
"Cu-'ks I'll have tuovn atseotud
Up. I'ldn.il liri.
"TVhut d'ye nifin by It!
"Election U; I bill's all." hid! a Scr
olls Journal.
trurl.
Hard lo li.-cldc.
Mrs. Mulligan - Do ye feel better this
morning. Mm. H'Toole?
Mrs. O'Toole-l do, and I lieu again I
don't.
Mrs. Mulligan That's Kid, fur It's
ha mid to know w hether to say Ol'm
sorry or glad. Harper's Itazar.
"Ilirrc I'hrcra for the Fat I.aJjr."
In Ilia hliavinu llriiah.
lle-ll-iw the blithering blazes did
my shaving brush get full of sand, I
want to know?
She Oh! Some must have accldcnlal
ly got Into It when I was using It to
la i her my bicycle tire to llnd where the
puncture was. Indianapolis Journal.
4 fH
you notice now well
carved the turkey at
Mr.
dlu-
She- Ild
New 'money
tier?
lli-Y- lie evidently spent bis ear
ly life lu a Jolnt
Not Krllrc.l.
"You needn't put on so many airs."
said a '" model to a "IHl wheel. "You're
only llxed over with a new chain and
saddle."
"That may be." replied the Tsl wheel,
modestly, "but for all that I'm not re
tired yet."-New York Journal.
IilftVrciiee M a Pell.
"It was so dark lu tbe parlor when
young Or. Plummcr came In that I
didn't notice he bail shaved off his inns
tuche."
"Didn't you? I felt the dllTereiiia
while you were getting a light."- Cleve.
laud Plain Dottier.
Nol Half.
Artist I flatter myself this last pic
ture of mine Is an excellent one.
Another artist -My dear fellow, you
don't Hatter yourself half ns much as
you Mailer the plclure.-Itoxbury Ca
ret to.
THE LATE MR. BROWN
A Queer Vermont Township.
In Windsor County, Vermont, is
via Appoiiaug to the frozen shores of !,( n queer a town as there Is lu Hie
Cowesett Pay. I'niled States. Its name Is llalllmore,
The Ice covered the bay, and the S-'lt- nnd It possesses little of Interest save
; uate man was compelled to wheel his n hlslory lu which none of Its Inhale
barrow along the beach almost to W ar- Hams express the slightest pride. Hal-
More Fun.
Mother Instead of beating the cat,
Willie, I wish you would amuse your
self with your doll.
Willie Yes; but when I beat the cat
he howls, ami the doll doesn't. Hus
ton (ilobe.
Prnaii cllvn Drllahta.
I'ud ly I was talking with old Bruce
Just now. lie's a nice old gentleman.
He says he does not think that he ever
told a lie In his life.
Duddy He has a great pleasure be
fore him. Itostou Transcript.
wick light before be found a place
whero be could dig. His qu s was siie
cemful, however, for when he readied
Pbeulx on his return Journey the bar
row contained a I ag filled with a b' slid
of as ulce, big, Juicy clams as the dig
ger averred he's "ever sot oyiw on."
He said he "didn't mind the tramp,
the day was flue." He "wanted a mess
' o' clann and went and dug 'em, that
wuz all."
tlinore Is fairly old, as American towns
go, having been set off from Caven
dish ami organized In ITU.'!. It then had
ilT.'i pr.'sumably ambitious and hopeful
Inhabitants, but every census taken
since then has revealed a steady
growth-downward, lu Ihiki the p'ncii
bud lost one citizen, and llie subsequent
record stands as follows: In l.Hlo, l'n7
Inhabitants,; IHHH. "ill; is;ii., 171); IMO,
l.-i.'.; lH.-,0, Yl lSiKl, 1 Hi; 1S70, K"I; ISSl.
In
A IHaturber Kquelchad.
"What did you stop that clock
your room for, .lane?"
"Because, mum, the pLigiley thing
lias some sort of lit every moriiln,'
ilium, Jest when I wants to sleep,"
Detroit Kree Press.
A Ucograiililcul Note.
Kent's Corners Is some sixteen or 71, and IS'.hi, f,l. I o-day Hie number Is
seventeen miles from w here the clams f,;i. and one of the .V.I spends bis w inters
wpre du2. and the distance covered
suggests that some folks In S-'ituaie
re "powerful fond o' clams." Provi
dence Journal.
eqiilpm-'i
..v 1
can eiisllv operate the whole. The
shrinkage of the leather In thus becom
ing charcoal Is said to be not more than
r,n per cent.
Ills "Inn."
...Mr, d'lt iey," sn M the Rev.
rath-r Mi Miirph.". "why do I never see
pvrick at church now':"
Mrs. (i Itooicy sl k her bead sadly.
Is It anarchism?"
. V.,rse than th-t. yer riverence.'
is It atheism?"
War--, y-r river-n-e."
-What Is It. '""
i. i, ..omatlMii. "-Pittsburg
Tel, graph.
Mule In ll-pensst'le In War.
V 'i-ersiau a-giiu't '"' 't' ",urca
, s-rin-e i"-tucle. Kvery three sol
W en -n donkey. Mr there Is nelth-
' .. r ....ininlss.irlat. On
O baggag" mini
i -.is- s ,.. np Id r
,1,1s d.-nkey is !"" "
,ith .S 's pr" ri" ' "" '
1 ,&,si..l.all t he veil-d wife of .
I...rid.s t:ie o-.i-i.
and woman marry, the
to d.scover who Is to
Most Widely Copied Poets.
The crltliw affect to look down upon
newspaper poetry, but after all the
newspaper versifier Is the poet of the
people. The magazine pod m-ier wins
such a close place In the bear's of the
great masses. The crlt.es found fault
with Eugene Field, but He people
mourned his loss as that of few poets
hail been mourned. Afi-r all. perhai.
the people are r'ght. and popularity Is
the true test of poetry, for the poet's
mission Is to toiidi the hearts of bis
readers, and the great, r the number
of his readers the more m arly acli.cved
his aim. Judging by tic v iit to which
their verses are copied, the most popu
lar newspaper I is are Prank I.. Stan
ton. Will T. Hale nnd Prank Putnam.
Each writes a poem as h s dally task,
and each poem Is reprinted In a score
of newspapers, Insuring an audience of
a tnlllloti for e:i' ii one or Ills
Such an edition Is beyond the
nearly
verses
In the Soldiers' Home at Hrattlcboro'.
Nothing ever happened lu (he town,
not even a crime, nnd It has no distin
guished sons or daughters. The houses
are (tea tiered over the territory Im lud
ed within Itultlinore's limits, nowhere (
funning anything like a village, and
there Is no stoic, no church, no post
olllee, lmr even a cider mill. The pen- ;
pie are prosperous enough, as Vermont ,
farmers dellne prosperity, but they
keep moving away whenever oppor
tunity offers, and nobody ever moves
In. It Is twenty years since a wedding
took place there. -Hostoii Kvelilng
Transcript.
Progress.
He who truly honors the past cuniiot
afford to ibsplse or overlook anything
that has an upward and onward ten
dency, or that carries lo further head
way that which has already made so
inU' h advancement. If the conserva
tive man points to llie fallacy of much
that Is attempted, to the mistakes and
blunders of zeal without knowledge,
aud even to the seeming injury caused
by unfortunate experiments, we can
fiond Medicine.
"Well, nurse, la tho patient taking;
that tablespoon fill of brandy that I or
dered lil in till morning?"
"Itatber, doctor. He's twenty ahead.
Pun.
Wh lie Turnrd lu Ilia Orara.
He died, the bright comedinn.
Who'd shot so much bright folly,
And on hia tombstone they Inscribed:
"Here lies a good, 'stiff' Jolly."
Detroit Free Press.
On Her Mind.
"Tho leading lady seems to have
something on her mind."
"Yes, her divorce trial and the mati
nee are set for the same hour and she
l wondering which she will give to her
understudy." Detroit Journal.
Pelf-Kvld tut.
Mrs. Illande-Tbey say that Maglln
married for mouey.
Mrs. Kwarvu Anybody could see that
who ever saw hia wife. Ilostuu Tran
script. A llrara Rlrt.
"Your daughter, Mr. Hanker, Is very
cohl aud coy toward men, It seems to
nie."
"Quito so. She Is a brave defender
of my uillllons."-Pllegemlu Itlnetter.
Johnny- firandinnmnia, Is heaveti
marked on the map?
Ijramlmamiiia -llless the boy, no!
Johnny -Well, I've Just found hell -only
they spell It with a "u."-Tbe
Sketch.
Chronicle
k-'
i.i:
W'
i, a mini
. .1 l.....'ns
" . The supremacy. That point dpo.-
ed of, there is peace.
wildcat dreams of those wno write '"i" , .
or wnose worn uwu io n km ....... v-
eoiiipiitiimehts of a transition sinte, and
are but the light chaff which Is soon
blowu away, leaving the good and
heavy grain for future service. j
Millions of Minor Cnlna.
A few years ago 4'iQ bronze
2-eent pieces were set afloat. Three
million of these are still outstanding.
Three million .'t-ccut nickel pieces are
cattcrcd o'O' the t'nlted States, but It
la very rarely tl.Q one Is seen.
A promising mine w ill as surely rutv
mau In time a a promising noise. ,
nnatua for magazines
appears first In books.-Chicago Times
Herald. UlhVrent f.rio T fiolit.
Twenty-four rat B"l'l Is all gold;
2'J carat gold has 21' parts of gold. 1 of
silver sod 1 of n.pper; IS carat gold has
18 parts of gold and 3 each of silver
and copper; 11! carat gold is half gold
nd has 3U, purls of silver and S of
copper. Its specific gravity Is about
15; pure gold l l'J.
No niaa can become great, iinlcfryhe
I Deoola exaggerate bis best points. I
Only a Ml-lit Chance.
"Splffeiis has quit the photography
business and Is now a llorlt," remark
ed McSwillig.'iii.
"(lb, well," replied Sqillldlg, "It Is not
nnidi of a slep from poses to posies."
Pillsburg ( broii Idc Telegraph.
K. v i-ocity.
"If you have a milllou you can get in
to the four hundred."
"Yes, and If you have four hundrnl
you are likely to stay In tbe million."
Harlem Life.
A I'mlue nf I'lrtjr.
Tom Is Miss Saintly really as ploua
as people Ihlnk she Is?
Ml hd li, yea; I'm certain She Is.O
Turn - What makes you so sure?
Kthd - Why, ber clothes fit her horribly-.
New York Times.
Square.
"You recall the trader with the chin
whiskers? Yes? Well, It turns out
that he was a swindler."
The other lieiilglited savage shrugged
bis shoulders.
"I Imagined as much," ho rejoined.
"Indeed, I remarked to my wife when
wc bad llnkshed li 1 ill that I didn't feel
an If I had eaten a square meal. There
are Instincts that can't be deceived,
you know." Omaha Tribune.
Haw to Trll.
"You should have been with us on
some of our autumn excursions," she
was saying.
"Did you gather any mushrooms?"
asked Willie Washington.
"Yes. Can you tell a toadstool from
a mushroom?"
"Soinetlmiw."
"How?"
"Ity looking at the obituary column."
Washington Slur.
Item Day Abolished.
The Preiich simpleton, Mous. Callno,
sometimes turns out ft) be a wlsiynan.
Some of his frleii Jj were recently talk
lug about the terrors of rent day.
"Kent (Jay used to be terrible to me,
too," mild Mous. Callno, "but I have
found a way Q deprive It of all Its ter
" "How do you do It?" they all asked.
"I pay my reut the day before," h
Qswervd. .