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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 27, 1883)
TBI BITUES. Imetby filet one mora. tr gol'U-n t t I I p. my own fair Una . Thy iuuny nolle Mill gieot M 01 J or On ery bind. Ths lonif, grey, inwful mew Ml welrtif drooi from whli moolla bloom; Imlo U 't myrtle tod oreuge Ium lbetrrichpwiume. From lrrT )tmlne bowr Bright buuimlugbird with radial plumigs Tfcnd" g'MO Imtm, lb red pomegranate floaer Like Jewoli bwun. with not of wild deliybt Tb nv.lrg blid pur out fan Ihnlltni wd, 1 Uau tb wuipuurlll Ibio all U ulnhl Hliwalli prolong. Bat wllh whit tear-dlmmed eyes 1 m thy bird, tby fiiwem. o sweet "".f ! Keaibf l'd liht of tby blue lunbrlght iklei 8uiUinluo grey. with howy bert I com. 'Ww.pliiK my bopei f irlorn mourning nf Wdi oui worn ud id. bin toy southern h jme, Youlb'ijoyiill (led. Dear mother ! on thy breut. Wntrtfd of toll wid otre, LlfVe Utnp bnrnt low. L ami oniy more tbe It nder, poaoelul ret Of long igo. Dlck'on. A CLEFT MICK. No. thuro was no doubt abont it; I had drank a great deal more than wait gxl for nie, as my aching bead and parched mouth only top painfully proved. It was not the lobster salad I aeorued tlio deception; it waa the cbara lane. I bad always maintuiued that pir.nics wore a mistake, and now I waa certain of it. l)o not niisondorstaml me whon I aay Eicnios are a mistake. Your roal, rural, lf impromptu picnic with a few inti mate friends in some pleasant spot, away froni tlio huin-drum of every day life is pleasant enough; but what I inveigh gainst ia that Bet feast of Inxuriea, oon , veyod iu a porfootly appointed luncheon ' bak.t to soma hackneyed foasting-pluoo by "pampered menials," and in which tho ouly variety from every-day luchoon ; ... l .!... It I Aiilun rt ii n nnnnm. lortable position, instead of the ortho lox oomfortablo one. And this had been the aaa yesterday. Besides, the company bod not beon to my tusto. Imagine a ingle man, or, indued, any man, pio nicking with three engaged oouplos. Could (ho most oontentod of mortals fcavo been happy under each eiroum Uroes? True, there had been a fow odd mid dloagod outsiders, but what of that? Ah I whut indeed? And ni my memory began to collect Its aoattcrod particles I had more caue than ever to curse that piooio We hail been up the river, a patty of twelve yes, that waa it and finding that uo blaudislimonta on my part could distract the course of true love of any one of tlio thrco engaged misses from their faithful swains, I had e'on boon obliged to fall buck upon one of the wM" members of the party. Urged on my wild career by dosporution and fre quent glasses of champagne, I had made viniout love to a maiden lady of-well, of u orttiin ao. Sue had been too agreeable; thut was her only fault. What might I not have committed myself to in my ifforts to drown enuni! Who know? Perhaps I had proposed to her. Well, bIih had been very oharming, why not? Groat hoavens! sho waa forty if Mho wb a day, aud perhaps bahl-por-imp sho was "made up." At least, I ruML-mbor she appeared to possess a cer tain amount of good looks, but how was I to know that those dark lashos were not tho result of antimony, those lan Crushing glanoos, bulla donna; that complexion, arscnio; thoso delicate white hands, bismuth? and now, I re membered that I had promised to call upon ber. She lived at Kensington. Happv thought; perhaps I had mislaid her uddress. I jumped tiff my chair with moro alaority than I had thought pos'iblo, nd rummagod in my pockets tor tlio card she had givon me. She aid, with a bewitching smilo, that alio waa unite 'sure I should forgot tho ad dress unless I had that card. No such luok, there it was, only too palpable to the naked eye. I sat down again to tho protouse of breakfast I had boon muking during these reveries. An unwelcome kuoex at tho door followod by mowt nnwelooiue intruder, put an abrupt cud to them. "Hollo, Charlio, old man," exolaimed my hated visitor, "how are you? Look mmsU; boon up all night, or what?" "Oh, go to tho deuoo," I answord testily. , "Thuoks; you always were a hospital kind of fellow, but I bad I ardly ex rwoted so warm a rooeption as this. ' (I Hhonld not add that the spokesman vaa my cousin, which tuay aocouut, per haps, for the laok of ooreaiony between no.) "Woll, I toll yon what it is, Ralph, I m awfully dow'n on my back, and dou't want any of your chaff this morning." "Oh, if it's a matter of a tiver or so, whv did you uot say o before? You know you may always count on me to oliliw you at a pincii. Homi. mvdiiar fellow, it ia not that I mi a little off color, that's all. Don t VOU Si'O " "Whaw w, I thiuk I do seo nowl A woman in tho ease, of oonrso. What tut awful duffer I must have been not to have seen it at 11 rat! (How I hato the familiarity of rela tionshiD which seems to arrogate to it Jt tho right to pry into and expose all one a personal affairs, liolieve me, rela tions are u cret mistake. I felt at this moment that I would gladly havo attend' 1 the execution of one and all of win3 There was the irovernor doar old man I be alwavs took savage delightin toll- mg me that I should live to' make fool of myself one day, and there ia generally abulf truth in wuat tho old roan ob sMrves. but tbe susuicioa that disagrees fcle home truths are true does not make thrnn any the more paUUbla to lb re cipient of them, uoea H7) "Look here. Ilalph " I said. "I am atoi in the hnmor for humbug this morn tag, so let us drop the subject of my appearance and its cause altogether Uav you seen the coy?-' "Yes, sw him just as he waa going at for his mornina constitutional. lie feokad 'fit' enough." I winced at this overt dig at my ten dor arot. "Woll; suppose yon go downstairs and caoke while I finish breakfast, and then well tee how to past an hour or two 11 r tormentor was gone at last, thank frlncw, but what was the torment of ku presence to that of my own mind: There was no getting out of it. I must call upon my elderly cbaimer, and that without delay. The longer matters were put off the worse they would appear. I went downstairs and fonnd ftalph smokiag. Bah! I could not have smoked this morning to have saved my life. "I suppose you have nothing to do up till luncheon time. Ralph? Will you oome for a d rive? I Lave a morning oall to pay." "Thought so; but why wouldn't you speak the truth at once? Who is she?" "Time enough for you to know when you've seen her," I answorod surlily. "Will you come? ' I shall have to leave you outside." "All right, old man; anything to fur ther the interests of a friond. I don't mind playing Leporello to your Don Juan for once." We drove to Konsington. The bril liant sun seemed to mock my gloomy thoughts, and my spirits fell to zero aa wo approached the house. "Was Miss Damian at homo?" "Yes, Miss Damian waa at home." My last loophole of escape waa cloned. I entered the house, and had not been seated five minutes when the door opoued, and a porfeot vision of loveliness greeted my astonished gaze. Picture to yourself the most beautiful creature your eyos ever rostod upon, or your imagination conjured up in the form of woman, and apply the result to tbe pretent case. Her eyos, bor complexion, ber flgurel But I will not attempt to describe them for fear thoy should clash with your in dividual ideal of beauty, and so dostroy the illusion. She could not have beon more tnan nineteen or twonty. Was this my "eld erly charmer" of yestorday? No there must be somo mistake. Tho vision came forward with a Ber apbio smile of ill-disguised amusement at my evident astonishment. "Miss Damian?" I stammered. "I am Miss Damian, Mibs fcthel Da mi. m in mv ft ii n I'M bouse, aud mv aunt desires me to express hor regret at being unable to see you this morning. She caught a alight cold on the river yestor dav, but she hopes you will call again very soon. '1'l.ot viIkaI What can I liken it to in ordor to convey an idea of its mellifluous sound? All the old similes of nigbtin gales and running water pale before such porfootion. I am .liilt.-T mun I am distressed be yond measure or what an extremely warm uay. "You artnear to find it bo; I had thought it rathor cool." "What I moant to say was" i was pe- inmlnn mnrn AnnfllKflil. and Btumbliuf? deeper into difficulties at every step) "what I meant to say was iuai l ouguiio l, in,l.,lit.i,1 tn ulmnqt nnv ncaident tuuvwvw. -- , which was tho moana of introducing me to Miss Damian's nioce, although I had no idea of cxproasing anything but ro- grtit at iuiss Damian a uiness. Oiil a'niniiHA. 'aeoiise:' so no more oomplimonts to me at my aunt 'a expense now cuil llie picuiu go uu; r'" vented from going, unfortunately." "It was UOllgnilUlI oaveu lurgivu me for tho falsehood!) "Indeed, I am in.1liijl to vour aunt for all tho pleas ure I oxtraoted from it. Without hor it would have been dull enough. "Ah, my Aunt Barbara has been add ing yot anothor viotiin to, her train of ad mirers, I Beol'' " hut do you moanY wureiy "Yes. it is mv naiuful duty to inform vou that Aunt Barbara ia a coulirtuod ilirt. Papa used to ssy that his sister Barbara would ilirt with a pair of tongn (.. inir f .invtliinis hnttor. and she has iui . t.. i w . j o cono on praotioiug her amiablo weak- n .. . ! T 1 1 T I ...11 nt'SS tliroilgn 11I0. inueuu, x inv vuii her that my timo is spant in loiiowing hor around like a shoep dog to play pro priety. Do not bo alarmed, sho means nothing Herious. It is hor only foible. VV.i i nin mn dh nttnched to one an other, and she is always in all things my very dear Aunt Barbara." Tho charm of tho spoauer a tuannor en tirely carriod off any sense of brnsquerio that this uuconvontional declaration tniht have other wiso impressed me witu. 'IM.a i.wi ..linn Iwiincr lirnkpn. I Silt on. talking with my vision, quite oblivious .... j . ...... l..ll. to tho turoes Ot liupaiienoB mm imnu J -1.1 t... f....Knfl. A.iti.ln tn IllA hansom. At last it was tune to go. "I may can again, may I not?" ii.iurt itn. nr Aiini iturunra win met ereativ disiippoiutod at your lack ol fealty to bur." I loft tho liuuso over neaa ana esrB iu l...... T l.n.l ln.in in lnvn mnnv timea bd- fore; iu fai-t, I had always been falling in love ever Binca j was unoou, nm iuu :..... il.oca tn n.i doubt n.inut it. V nu..,l I., nulr tvlmt limit f!llirlill." - 1 I cxoluimed K.ilpU, as 1 Douudoa mto me hansom, lor Aocepiou is wruum iu bug" capitals all ovor your iaoe. if.iinii it in is an inon "Ah! thov most of thorn are, T notice, until they are married." J deigned no reply totuis msuiiing re mark, but drove tmcK iu sucnt ecstacy, i..-l.i.r lt .lnl. to hi own meditations. tui.o.'n - - ; " ll.it mini atv.Kil IlilK ltd IUnilll llitl VI II IT iju vivij .'ivi . rf - bitter, and the reaotion of my miserable . . . . I position upon tlio last Olissnu umir was harder to b.'ar than before. Why, it waa rvor so much worsel Hero was I pledged perhapa to tho aunt, while I ws lesperateiy lu love wuu mo uieco. ro- l... mnr.la tli.it hit vision bad V HI I I'V I ...w " " " , ' nl(.n.1 r.nrarlina InT mint's foible, as she termed it, but even this could not offer any strong solace to me. uow l.l ulio kiwiw tn lmt extent matters bad eone? There was no help for it, I must go to tiie governor nae me remrumi n.iir1 i .1 nnnfoii mi ililnnima evon at the rik of being called every epithet riiinwiiv wi mo I'lmu ni r.j w. . . .... . . I. 1 f.ii ' in iiih ptin.iNiTA TuxittuaiarT. 11 Mi'ttinir in tlta llhrtrv Tfnlt Jia mam .111111. m " ' - ---- n (ntnlnr.lil nV Mnsation creeiiiDtf over me, and an inexpressible desire to got behind mysolt aa 1 openea too uoor and walked, or rather edged, myself into the room. All my courage waaooiiog out at my finger tips like lion Aores . ti, irMMMf ttiA matlnr was over the bet ter for me, however, so I broke headlong into my uumrostuu. it flrat nt nnnrki the olJ man was furiona. I always bad been fool, and now I was going to commit tue greatest folly of all, and tie niyeelf op to aome woman old enough to be my mother, of wkr.tn nnlisulv kn ftnvthinir and who. " UWIU HWWU "J - - OI ' . for all we could guess, might not be re pcUble.M and so forth, in the usual msnner of irate fatbera, when they have . . . . . 1 ' : - . .. got me wnip-oanuui moir cnuiwnn. I bore it all meekly enough, and at last calmed the explosion by throwing my pelf upon bis raeroy and asking him to help me out of tho fix. The ruse was successful. "We must boo my eldorly cbarmor to gether: we had better call to morrow. No? Well, the.i the next day, and he would see what there was to bd done." ' And so ended the intorview between tbe governor and myself. I felt relieved, but I sould not feel at rest until this dreaded call was over. The governor was very good all that day. He generally turn up trumps at a crisis. The next day after lunch be proposed a sroll in the Row, as he said, to distract my attention from this painful and ab sorbing topio that engrossed it. . We had beon walking up and down, stopping now and then to groet some passing friend, wbon I suddenly saw my Vision before me. It could be no other; there was not face among all the beau ties present that could be compared with, or be mistaken for, hers. She was sitting tinder the shade of one of the great elms, daintily dressed in some diaphanous, croamy-white material, and looking more bewitching than ever. And that lady sitting beside her why that, of oonrso. was she to whom I believed myself engaged, my eldorly charmer. In my self-accusing hour of remorse I had done hor injustice. There was no "make up" there. She was dressed in good taste, as became bor age; any dis interested person would have pronounced ber a decidedly elegant womau, well preserved for forty, if, indeod, sho were as much, and with no jmall pretensions to good looks. 1 started involuntarily and the gov ernor observed it. "Well, Charlie, what s amiss now? "WIit " T answered, cro wine suddenly BOirlot all over, "there she is!" "Where?" "floAi- fhoro nittlntr nnder that tree and talking to that lovely girl in white." "Now lor it, my boy; wirouuce me. I walked forward and raisod my bat. "Miss Damian " "Oh, ho we have met sooner thau we expected. Mr. Carew; accept my opolo- gins for having a oold yesterday when yon called, yet i can naraiy oiame tue eold, for it was caught at the picnio and is now gone, and ' bad it not been for the picnio we would not have met you and you would not have called at all. I dare say mv nninn did the honors for me better than I should have done them myself." All answer that I could make to this was to look rapturously at Ethel, and mumbled inarticulately to miss xjb- mian. There was certainly a touch of oo mmtrv in Aunt. Barbara'a SDGCOb. but it was tho permissable ooquotry, of a lady who knew her position ana couiu mum tain it. I introduced the govornor by way of my idiotio confusion, aud the conversa tion booame genoral, or rather broke up into twos, for I soleoted the vacant chair next to Ethel, and left tho irovernor to Miss Damian altogether. You may not believe me, dm ic is per fectly true that I forgot all about my dniininm from the moment I plunged into that heavenly tete-a totowith Ethel, and wns oblivious ol all snrrouuuings. At last my trance was brokou. iuiss Damian loaned forward aud point odlv addressed me. "I am tolliug your father, Mr. Carew, that he must clnnge places with you and trive me a chance of renewing onr pleasant acquaintance of the day before yosterday. The governor did not soem to have ex erted himself muoh in my case; he was beaming all ovor with an expression ol i?r.iti(ieil vanitv. evidently not the result of a battle fought in my favor. I tore myself away from Ethel's side and changed seats. "Do you think I am going to lot my preaux chevalier of the picuiu imagine he is going to snoive mo in iuai easy iasu ion 10-dny Had you a very bad head ache yestorday morning, Mr. Carew? I know you attacked that champagne a great deal too sovereiy, nasty as 11 was, but no matter; compliments aside, con fiim tliut inni-ilinntttlv bored at tho feust. and that you only fell back upoa mo as a pis aller, pour passer le temps. r.u gaged lovers are the most soltish crea tlio world, certainly. No. VOU wou't-will, thon, I shall keep you to every word that you uttered to mo on thut occasion. i,Uood ueavens, now h tlinn T had urouostid to " w o I ' a 4 her!) "Do you remembor all that passed as vividly as do; II so, your ueau is a stiouger one than most young men's of yonr age.' What in the world was sno driving at, I woudorod had I proposed to her or mitv Tf Mn tvliv ! iil r)ia adont this ma ternal tone toward me (I was 25!) and if aot, what did this occasional ooquotry of manner portenuf "llii von know. Mr. Carew. that al though I have directed several remarks to you, and asked you at least two very tiliiin n nnstions within the last five min utes, you have remainod absolutely mute?" What had been the uso of my intro ilncinu the irovernor if this wastneauug mira ii f dmbarmssment in which ho had left me? lie had not even smoothed the way for an explanation. I collected my senses -there was no iimiii. "Mina 1 human, l betran son- .""... .. : r . ously, "believe any in oi me mat you please; perhaps tbe champagne was not omul" fl h:ul not 8 toil ued to con- aider the quality at the time); "but my memory ia not so faulty as you imagine, and at least accept my assurance that anrtUiiiir I nttere.1 to vou the dav before yesterday I am prepared to aland by uow, and if the devotion of a life can ' She interrupted me with an incompre hensible smile. "Ah, that is what yon II nr lint how ran I rilo anv deoend- "j . - - i r , ence on such expressions when you sens the first opportunity to leave me for the society ol my niece r a "Miss Damian, believe mo" Mr. Carew. I will believe noth ins now. but see. your father is going, and it is time for Ethel to be re tnminir with ire. Good-bv for the rres unl in.l if ion or ronr father eara for for our society, come and lunch with us one day next week. II nr.. tti trnrnrnnr em nn in limn for the invittlion, which he accepted with a positive chuckle ot delight. So I had committed myself and could not now retract. Farewell, Ethel, my vision of light, farewell to all my hopes and drens for the future, henceforth Father," I exolaimed, with a digni fied sneer, as aoon as we were left alone, "permit me to expresa my gratitude for theable manner in whiohyou have bullied me upon the most trying occasion of my life." , , "Why, you young cub; you don t know when you are well off. Miss Damian is a perfectly charming woman. I had no idea from your description that she could be such a delightful creature. 'Made up,' indeed, you puppies of mod erns soem to think that no woman who has outgrown tbe follies of the school room can retain a vestige of natural beauty." "Thank you," I replied, sullenly, "but whatever Miss Damian'a preservative qualities may be, I have no wish to marry a woman old enoujru to bo my mother." "Yon hive only yourself to thank in tbe matter, and must abide by the conse quences. Don't blame me. As It hap pens, you have done by accident perhaps the wisest action in your life, and selected a wife in every way fitted to enhance yonr position and keep you out of mischief." 1 cloarlv saw it was no uso to go on arguing with the governor while be was in this mood, so wuq a uaii-smoioareu ejaculation, which was not a blessing, l let the matter or op lor a time. For Several days after this I wont about with a Lang-dog expression which seemod to cause no littlo amusement to my. eousin Ralph, who was forever pop ping in upon me and rallying me upon mv uppearanoo in a mannor which he.no doubt, thought very witty. I wonder I did not kill Ralph when I look baok at that time, lie richly deserved . The irovernor and I bad accepted Miss Damian's invitation to lunch for the fol lowing- Wednesday. I waa rother at a loss to understand his evident impatience for the starting hoar to arrive as soon as the day came round, lie had disappeared unusually early to make Ibis toilet, I thought, as I eat .. .. 7 ii . i:i .,,.1,'n r.. SmOKlOg IU lUB uorury iuii luuuug ii from comfortable at the prospect of this lunoheon with my elderly botrothed. While I was engaged iu mis manner, the irovernor entered, dressed to a state of discomfort that almost looked like anticipating the wedding. "Why. dad. 1 exoiaimou, - i nover - . . i r , V saw you look so young ueiorei xuu seem to have cast off twenty years of vour life with your old ooat, just like a snake. Where did you get inai garuenia from?" 'Nonsense, my boy. nonsense; there is nothing unusual, I suppose, in making one's self look respectable; but what are von doinar here. Charlie, at this hour? xou oucbt to ue reauy to start, auu ior aroodnoss sake throw away that cigar don t want to go to Alias jjamian s recking of tobacco." (Tho governor never used to object to tobacco at any time of his life; he was an inveterate smoker himself.) It wants more than halt an nour to the time. I replied, nonohalantiy; "no hurry; wo shall be there quite soon euongh. "There, that s lust the way witu an yon modern young mey; you ought to be ashamed ol yourselves, wnen i was vounor it was considered an atrocious V . . i 1-1- breacu 01 good manners to Keen a muv waiting, but you youngsters are all so stuck up in your own oonccit that I be lieve it ia a part of religion to go lute evervwhero for the satisfaction of cre ating an excitemout, just like a parcel of young misses, but 1 don t intena any of these degeuerato habits to influence me. Go and make yourself presentable at once, and Tor hoaven s sake U30 some eau de Cologne to banish that disgrace ful odor of smoke sir Miss Damian's ia not a pothouse." I slunk upstairs without further parley and made the necessary alterations in my drcsa: then we drove off together to Kensington. Who shall say that acting is oniy no nuirod by practice? I bolive Charles Mathews himself could not nave scuooieu his natural instincts to nffect a greater air of polite emuressement than I man agod to infuse into my greeting to Miss Damian. Aud Etbel Iwasobligod to command my feelings still more severely with her, oerhaos not anite so successfully, for I felt the tell tale blush mount to my face, and my baud trembled visibly as I clasped her dainty fingers for the space ol the orthodox few seoonus. Luncheon was over. It had not gone off so badly as I hud anticipated, all things considered. The governor had been more animated than I ever remem- herad having seen him. and ho most con siderably monopolized nearly a 1 Miss Dam an a attontion dunug tue meai. Now he bad. apparently with somo re luctAnce. civen tip his seat next Miss Damiau to me. We were sitting half Hlniiiod bv a screen, aud Juthel was making conversation in ber graceful man n,r with the irovernor. "Aud so I nm really to believe that you hold to the declaration you mado to " . . i ... u itr. n . -,..0' me up me river msv ww, iur. 'Can you doubt me? Did I not repeat it to vou in all earneatnesa in tue itow only a fow days ago, Miss Damian?" "You are a very cuivairous young man, the apt pupil of a chivalrous father I wonder if you mean all you say, ana still more I wonder if yon distinctly re member what you really did say at the picnic I havo always bad my douuts on that subioct. "Mis JJarnian, do yon wisu me to re peat it now? "Certainly not, for I am sure you ooold not if you tried; but to relieve you of all further anxiety on the subject, I will tell you, not all that you said, for that would be to repeat too mucn good humored nonsense, but the one itn portant declaration which evidently weiuhs so heavily upon your con science." "I am all attention." "Well, you confided to me, of course ia the strictest secrecy, that you never ootid marry any woman if you though she were capable ot consuming as much lobster salad as any one of those three voung ladies did. against whom you seemed to bear such a fcrudge for re fusing to flirt with yon in the Tery pres ence of their "fiances." There, I thought you would feel relieved, but it i a very bad compliment to me to let it oe so ap nimnL" Good heavens! and was this all? Had I hrnn makiuir mvself miserable and ob jectionable to all my friends for tue past week, and for nothing? Even my habitual self control failed me now, and the expression of delight on my cooct- nance no doubt deservedly called forth MUs Damian reproof. I waa a free mau again, yet nonor lor- ado mo to jump at the position too "You cannot think," I said, "that this littlo misunderstanding oan alter the re lations between us?" "Relations! what relations? I don t un erstand you, Mr. Carew." "Surely, you could not have mistaken the nature of jay offer to you the other day in the Row?' r. . . .. .it mi at la She burst into a little nt oi lauguier. 'Yon foolish boy. do you take me for an ogress? Could you not see thut I was only amusing myself ? I value the freedom of my maidenhood a great deal too muon to part with it so easily. An old maid I am, and an old maid I mean to be to the end of the chapter. Besides, de you hink I have no eyes ? I am far too ex perienced in reading 'the signs of love' not to havo observed wbeie your heart ia fix-'d, perhaps not without good grounds." And the looked expressively across tho room to wuere jjiuei was sit ting. "Love at first sight is no such un common occurrence after all, is it, Mr. Carew?" I raised her taper band and reverently kissed it. "Miss Damian, you have taught me a most gracious lesson, and I hould be most ungrateiui not to prout by it. Believe me this time when I as sert that my allegiance to you is, in an othor form, stronger than ever." "That is well, and now go and talk to Ethel, and leave ue to amuse your father, that is more in the fitness of things." And I was in a delirium oi aongnc ior the rest of the afternoon. What need to say how often I called at the bouse in Kensington after this? Indeed, I could not, if I attempted, inoiign tuat i at last "screwed my courage to the sticking place" and obtainel the one word from Etbel that was wanting to make my hap piness complete. Uur wedding took place in tue loiiow- ing month, wuu tne usual orange blossoms, white lace, fees and frippery. Thut abominable Ralph was my grooms man. The laugh was all on my side now, and he has never to this day suspected the real facts of the case, when be drove with me to Kensington that morning after the pionic, and waited oatside the house in a hansom. "Oh! Charlie." exclaimed my Ethel as we started for Paris on onr wedding trip, what a good thing it is yon married me, for now I shall make such an excellent chaperone for Aunt Barbara!" When we returned to London, tbe old governor was tbe first to greet us. I could not make out what bud come over bim, bo seemed embarrrssed, and anxious to avoid meeting my eye, and turned the conversation whenever it touched upon Lome topics. At last when we were aione ne came up to me aud put his band shyly upon my shoulder. "Charlie, my dear boy, don't call your father an old fool, but ou see the house was lonely after you left it, and 1 had no companion to amuse me in your absence, and so, and so in fact, Charlie, Miss Damian is now Mrs. Carew, and your stopmother." "Bravo, governor!" I exclaimed, "and a charming stepmother, too; accept my best wishos. So. vou see. Auut Barbara did not re quire Ethel for a chaperoue after all! Templo Uar. F0BE10.1 NETTS. ' Fish dinnors are fashionable i0 En land. 8 EluoatioD in England is estini.i cost (11 per Load. . few day i mu . xuo pun gave auuienco a ago to WW ltuliau priests. The French government bag plced about 170 judges on the retirod list. Tho United States exhibitors obtained twenty-seven of tho 5223 awards at thg Dutch exhibition. One of the Marquis Tseng's disput. to the Chinese government is said to cost 825,000. a've Insomepaits of Russia it ii believed that if the bride tastes the cake on the eve of the wedding ber husband will not love ber. Paris bonnets are now provided with a mansard, in which is stored the knot or coil into which tbe hair is twisted on tlit top of the head. Parie is to be delighted by bull fights after the Spanish fashion. The director of the hippodrome has imported a party of bull fighters from Madrid. The Empress of Russia has just or dered a cloak of sablo fur trimmed with gold and enriched with precious stones the whole oost boing placed at $13,000. The Mongols have at last iavdaed Paris. A Chinese restaurant has been established there, at whioh one may feast on dessioatod eggs and bird's nest soup. ' Millocker's operetta, "The Beggar Student," is fast approaching its three hundredth night iu Berlin. It has si ready yielded the composer a profit ot 50,000 florins. Queen Marguerite of Italy, was re oently so courteous to a westerner who was presented to her that the latter now calls her a "democratio daisy." The power of compliment could no further go. Profegsor Huxley, on hearing recently that there were many new houses in the best part of London which bad no con nection with the main sewer, remarked that be hoped the London sanitary pro tective association might soon obtain power from parliament to hang a few builders. At Deptford, England, the other day. when a coroner was about to swears jury, be opened a book which was (ap plied by the landlord of tbe tavern at which the inquest was held, and discov ered that, instead of tbe New Testament, it was a copy of "lristiam Shandy." It was some time before a copy of tbe right book could be found. A Religious Vandcrbilt. A Moody and Sankey hymn, rousingly and melodiously sung, stopped me along side of tho Grand Central depot. There waa a noisy baugmg of baggage on tue sidewalk, where a wagon was being un loaded of trunks with reckless celerity; street cars were rattling past, travelers ware making a train time hubbub; but the devotional vocalism made itself heard over all opposition. A brief investiga tion enabled me to locate it under ground. Descending by a stone stairway, between ono that led to a oaruer suup and other that was the entrance to a restaurant, I was astonished to nnd my- solf in a churoh right under the big rail road station. It was of a size to aooom modaft two or three hundred persons. A platform held a lecturn and a cabinet organ. The walls were neatly frescoed in an ecclesiastical style, and an inscrip tion said "Live in deeds, not years. The floor was carpeted and the pews were in walnut. Altogether it was a handsomo plaoe of worship, and the con gregation was correspondingly good looking, though evidently containing a wide range of financial conditions. It . i -i i . wns auouc eveniv amueu aa iu oeca Young fellows and girls in clothes that foil a little short of prima fashionable ness, or if cut just right were mado of cheap material, were in a ueciueuiy siL'htlv predominance, in a Iront seat ware a row of contrastingly dressed per .. i sons, tuougu tneir ricuness oi uppurei waa all in auite good tasto. Iu tlicir midst was a bearded, ordinary man of nearly forty, to judge by appearances. I recognized bim as Cornelius Vanderbilt, tte eldest sou of William H. Van derbilt. His preseuce was nothing un usual. That cellar ehuich is his own. Cornelius is a Presbyterian, with strong indications of dovoutness. Religion is not plentiful in the Vanderbilt family, and he has nearly all there is of it. Ho believes that it is wicked to ruu trains on Sunday, but has made no progress in bringing his latuer to mat way oi tuina- inc. tr ailing in bis etiorts to uuristianize travol on the Vanderbilt linea, he con cluded that the next best thing to closing the Grand Central depot on the Sabbath was to open a church in it. imam a. readilv gave bim a cellar, and this be fitted no in the manner described. It was a prayer meeting that I went to. A girl of fourteen kept the singing well to gether by ber clever use of the organ, and I have seldom heard revival bymns more inspiringly rendered. Much less confident and telling were tbe words of a young minister, who made tbe only con siderable address. He told ns that he was from Kentucky, and all that was pertinent to tbe Vanderbilta in what he aid waa that Christ did not come to the rich and powerf al, but to the poor and lowly. He thanked God for that Whether it was tbe boldness of such an utterance in a Vanderbilt'a church or whether merely ordinary fervor dis tracted bis mind from temporal sur roundings, it is certain that he lost sight of the platform's limits and inadvertent ly stepped off the edge, nearly jerking his head off bis shoulders by the sudden change of aix inches in his level. New York Letter to the Albany Journal. Just for a Joke. Philadelphia ladios are learning boss ball. One of thorn has caught her hus band out several times already. Statistics show that triplets occur only once in V.JUU birtiis. lue jttocnester Post-Express imagines that a poor nua with 6,'J'Jy children might feel very un easy. A Boston housemaid, who, about to leave unexpectedly, was urged to givo a reason for it, simply said: I can't stay, the young ladies speak such bad grain-mar. Teacher: Define the word excavate." Scholar: "It means to hollow out. Teacher: "Construct a sentence in which the word is properly used. Scholar: "The baby excavates when it gets hurt." "Did you notice the aesthetic appear- ance of Miss uiuaignsu. Auiyr asxeu the high school girl. "I noticed a pim ple on her nose," replied Amy, hut I didn't know the dictionary word for it." "What are you going to do when you grow up it you don t Know uow 10 cipher?" asked a teacher of a slow boy. "I'm going to be a school teachor and make the boys do the ciphering," was the reply. "Mamma," said Harry, "whats the difference between goose and geese Why. don't you know?" said four year old Annie; "one geese is gooso, audi whole lot of gooses is geese. "Why. Smith, what a dreadful state of intoxication you are inl" "This a dreful state of 'toxication? Just oughtor seen me th'other night. This's only a ter "tory." CtU crfiiit "Ah. Mrs. B.. did J0U keep a diary during your visit to the country?" Mrs. B., indignantly ao. sir, Ididn t. The family bougui uw from the neighbors." It was on the piazza of the Grand Union, Saratoga: "How beautifully that woman sings," said one ladv to another, who was in gorgeous attire and blazing with diemouds. "Is she a mezzo-soprano? ' "No. I guess not. I think she is a Swede," leplied the other. A minister hearing a boy saying, "Bother those mosquitoes," reproved him, saving that like all other creatures they wV- doubtless made for some good end. " diat iu iy be," saiJ the hoy, "but I don'i like tiio end that I f l t aDT rate." "Dear me!" cried Mrs. Blossom, as she laid dowu the paper, "it does seem to too : if tliosi state militia fell )1 re alway- iu troub'.o. He e's an account ol a recent inspection where the company turned out fifty-three men. Too bad, ain't it." "No," said Mrs. Shoddy, "I don't care so much because I never had any chil dren; I never liked children you kno. But I should like to have one, so that 1 could have a nurse in a lsoe cap to take care of it when I go to the sea shore. It's bo stylish, yon kuow." Ckdab Distbict, NaviDi. A new mining district haa recently boon organ ized in tbe Antelope range of mountains, about eighteen miles from the Humboldt House, and named Cedar District. Xears ago rich float rock was fonnd io that sec tion, but nothing was done towards fol lowing it np or prospecting the range This summer Jehial Smith found soma galeoa ore partly oxidised near the blun. which led bim to prospect for a mine. He succeeded in finding a body of galena ore twenty feet wide, and carrying Ircm cinntnftiflO In silver to the ton. has been at work for aome weeks pros pecting his find, and be is of the opinion ihat it is one of the largest bodies of ore ever found in the state. The mine . is about two mile, frm Bi Anient Springs, in a range of mountains heTi covered with cedar timber, and frc which the district darW w " Wwnemusc Silver State.