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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 29, 1882)
T fiJE OLD V LLSTKIt K!REIE.
11 wrrinr b.t tbir ftatit f blond, -
M'ilh maiiuMftiriuM thread,
TVv're nnt t)i only lienwi, they
Who fnllowril or who led.
Dut give to nielli rfallaut boys
K.ir whom lew wurdi in wid,
The faithful boya. the fciarlM boys,
. Tbe boya who wra Ui red.
Now time haa chan d their youth to ag,
But atill their hearu art gi-eeo
At when in lonxyenrapawd away,
"They ran with the Machine."
Anil 'round the board in joka and long
Tbe merry houra are mI;
The lailhful Inyi, the fcarlcas boya,
The boy who wore the red.
Join bandi all around t Fill the pumper up I
Beside the bright ana -adore,
We're bore again, old oomiadua true,
Af in the data of tore
Health to the living onea wt give,
Good memoriea to tbe dead;
The faithful boya, tbe fearltna boya,
The boyi who wore tbe rod.
IJfAUE TO BOTH.
Dick Power dropped bis Iotlcr with
groan. It full ly the side of its long,
slim envelope' on the table. Tbe en
velope bore upon its bark tbe faint ira
pression of a dove holding in its bill i
floating ribbon, upon tbe ends of which
wus written, in a quaint, but one Jitti
hand, the direction. "To Mr. Richard
A train the vouncr man groaned, thro
ing bis arms on the table and hiding bis
distressed face in his sloeve.
Tbe other occupant of the room sat
with his bonis on the window-sill aud bin
chair tilted back at a fearful anglo. lie
smokod, raised his eyebrows, looked at
his miserable companion, aud went on
The letter, half folding upon its pre
me and lady-like creases, lav faco up
ward, and the lines betrayed thi same
quaintly girlish handwriting, ull the
down strokes primly shaded, each capi
tal fancily twirled. "Dear Richard," it
began, Qrakorisbly, and it said, tear
fully, "I haven't beard from yon for so
long." There was a touch of tenderness
in every sentence, and a something that
told how simple the writer must have
been. Somehow it all gave rise to a pio
ture of a sun-bonnet aud a calico dress
a pair of timidly aflfectionato eyes, and
peaked ohin with a dimple in it. On tbe
next page tbe lottor went on plaintively
"Grandpa isn't very well since he had
that sioknoss last winterand when bo
cough so it shakes him all over. And
oh! Richard, I'm afraid bo is never go
ing to be well again. Wouldn't it be
dreadful to have him die and me alone
without you?" Then followed a wealth of
confluence in the words: "Uut, it
grandpa should die, I should come
straight to you, and oh, bow happy we
would be then, wouldnt we Wander
ing on in this loving strain till tbe end
of the third page, the letter dosed with:
"AfTectionatolv, your own Manny."
Byandby the young man in the tilted
chair, eyeing his friend meditatively,
"Your letter don't seem to mako you
nappy, somehow, Dick.
"Ob, Alt if you could only know
what a villain I am!" was the rejoinder
in a mulllcd tone from the folds of his
At this one eyebrow went np and one
came down. "Well, it s very likely, lie
looieu lazuy turongu in window at a
group of loungers before the hotel oppo
Nile, and then continued iudiflerentl
"What's it all about, anyhow?"
"Jnat road that!" was tbe reply, as
Dick passed, "affectionately your own
Martby's" letter toward him.
Fisher read tbe letter through caro
fully. "I should say this was very
sweet little girl," he remarked, mus
ingly. "bo she is, so she isl" said Dick
straightening np. "She's just the sweet
est and most confiding little thing iu the
world, is Martha, That's what dancing
with tbom, making love to them and
dreasing like a dandy when you ought
to be in tbe Green mountains, wearing
butternut and carrying Martby's milk
pail." Dick groaned in anguish of spirit.
"And I've always told her I coul Jn't af
ford to oome alter her quite yet. Give
it to me, yon can't hit too hard; but, oh I
do help me out of this scrape,
"H -lp you out? Well, I should think
you'd be glad to be in it. Just to think
of that little Vermont blossom, turn
ing like cream and maple sugar, I'll war
raut, if blossoms ever do taste; just
think of her dropping down any miuute
among all the furbelows, the frizzos, tbe
paints and tho powders of the ladies in
"Oh, Lord Al, don't barrow up a
fellow ho. I dou't believe you imagine
yet how doep I'm iu for it. T hero's
Kata Richardson, now, when you Ulk
about flowers; she s a tiger lily ; she's a
red cactus; she's a tea rose; abe's mag
nificent; she's goraeous; die's radiant.
Ah. Al Fisher, can't you see how I lovu
"And she?" the question was like a
flame aoringing from a bed of coals.
"Well, I jiiHt thought I never was so
in love in my life. I wasn't sure about
her; but one night a montu ago I wan
carried away. I forgot all about Marthy
and I asked her to marry me. By George!
she said she would, and I should have
been too happy altogether, if. afer my
first trsusport. little Marthy hadn't oc
curred to me again. Now I'm engaged
to both of them, don't you see, aud it's a
deuce of a mesa. I wouldn't give up
Kate if I oould. and I don't see how I
could give up Marthy if I would."
A silence full between the two then, in
which the falling of a cigar ash might
havo echoed, and the twilight, stealing
down, came like a veil over ailenco.
It was fully six mouths later when
Kate Richardson, walked into a sleeping
car at Omaha, followed by baggage and
a porter, Her stop was so quirk und
confident, her accoutrements were so ap
propriate, aud the porter followed, her
with so deferential an' air, that the pas
sengers, making themselves comfortable
on either side the aisle, looked alter her
with great respect for her atyle. "Very
common aort of people; shan't make the
acquaintance of any of them," Miss
Richardson thought, as aha observed
them in a glance without seeming to.
She paused near tbo middle of the car.
"Put my things here," she said to
the porter. "I Lave the whole section,
and yon may pile them all on the front
She ant down upon the back scat, aud
apread her skirts comfortably, took out
her silk handkerchief and wiped tier lips,
siirhnd as enduring a penance, smoothed
tbe collar of her ulster, and thought
what boro orossiug the continent was
Tho prominent setting of a ring risible
under her glovs made one forefinger
notioeable. and it might have been ten
dorness or not, but sho placed hor elbow
on tbe arm of tho seat and rested her
liix nion it.
In tbe meantime tbe car was rapidly
filling There was much talk between
passengers and porter, and from her
aquare of window she could see pilee of
trunks being carted forward. By and
by the cars gave a little shake and quiver
; - . .1 - - .1:
aa 11 rouHing; men jr, ui.lj,
gliding motion, and then Misa Richard
son became consoious that some one
snoke to her. It was a voice thut was
an apology Itself as it said: "Ob,
if von please, ma am. its a mis
take, and I've mado so many mistakes;"
and it was almost a cry for holp. It had
color in its cheeks and lips, a little,
little mouth, and a shy light in its hazel
eyes. It carried a portmanteau, and the
porter towered above all with a patro
Miss Richardson was disturbed. "But,
Porter," said she, "I had engaged tho
whole of this section. I don t want any
one in with me. I shall have no place
for my things.
The hazel eyes were turned piteouslv
npon her, but the voice was tinged with
a bit of dignity, albiet touohed with
tears, as it answered: "ever mind; per
haps there's another half section nnoo
"They ain't no other, 'thout it's a
gentloman's in tho lower berth, if yon
don't mind thut, niiss," said the porter,
The distressed free was a picture.
"Oh. verywell," interposed Miss Rich'
ardson, in a bored tone; "I suppose I
shall be able to manage, and I dare say
we shall be comfortable enough.
Tbe portmanteau was placed as snug
neighbor to the stylish straps in the front
seat, and tbe little woman made herself
quite small tn the corner furthest from
her grand companion, never so much as
attempting to steal a glance at the win
dow monopolized by Miss Richardson's
elbow. Bot presently she leaned toward
Miss Richardson and touched her slioul
"I'm very much obliged to yon," she
said, gratefully, "and I am sure I shan't
incommode you any more than I can
Mjss Richardson made her a gracious
answer, and became interested in her
At length she vawned, and closed it.
The afternooii was passing. The scene
was nob in billowy green and stretching
plain, and across the green level the day
was mellowing awsy to its close, the
sunlight falling upon it like winnowed
gram. Miss Kichardson lult tne timid
and confiding little touch again npon her
arm, and turned to meet with her hand
some eyes the wistful, appealing ones
looking toward her.
"Would you let me go into the dining
room to dinner with vou? asked tbe
flute voice with a trembling of apprehen
sion in it.
"Oh, yes," said Miss Richardson,
smiling. "I'd just as lief you would as
"Oh! thank you bo much," was the
reply, alter a breath of relief, 'tl should
never have courage to go in and eat
alone. The waiters are in such a hurry,
and I dou't know where to sit, aud I cau
never find my own car when I'm ready
to come back!"
So it was that Miss Richardson came
to have a charge, and, somehow, so
much clinging timidity opposed to her
own independence seemed a sort 01
bond. Before the second day was out
sho had given her dainty and pretty com
panion a petting tap or two, short and
contentetl laughter ripplod up between
them, confidential undertones of talk
Sagged from oue to the other, and finally
isa Richardson leaned forward and
I haven't any idoa what your name
is. 1 thiuk it ought to be Posy,
And then the small woman laughed as
she answered: "It isn't though, it's
Marthy Marthy Fairobild."
And then the magnilioent gorgeous,
radiout Kate replied, just ns sho would
have caressed a bird' "Ah! and I shall
call you Marthy, then shall I not?"
.Not one dim thought of warning bad
she, not a single swift fooling of reooil,
sho knew not 'that aba was bugging to
hor heart a rival she who held sway
among men with waltz aud tete-a-tete
But under the feet of thoso who tread
volcanoes tho ground will Homo times
break; one cau not forever safely walk
the edgo of the precipice; thin ice will
They were sitting side by side, ns
sual, one evening; the window framed
calm, mild star. Sitting so silently.
ow struuge if they had known each was
saying over and over the Mime name.
The star was shining kindlv shining
and twinkling like an eyo mildly shrewd,
and then it gave place to another and
another, till the nilit sky seemed
shaken full with a lustored dust. Pres
ently Miss Richardson began to hum a
little, iu her soft contralto, and Marthy s
bird-like soprano took it up like a carol.
under a breath. The men undei the
dull lamp in the further end of tbe car
held their fingers on their cards for a
moment, and tho fretful baby ceased its
crying. Two women hushed gossip
ing, aud stared, and, under pretense of
a thro, the pausing porter turned down
tbe fl tmo in a lamp while ho stopped to
"Marthy," said Miss Richardson, very
gently, "where did you learn that? It's
such an old-fashioned.sontimenUl thing.
I shouldn't wonder it it bad been a love
song in 177G."
"Oh, yes; I shouldn't wonder if it bad.
I learned it way back iu Vermont oh,
how far away that seems now ! I used to
sing it with Richard but that seems
only yesturday, thoagh it haa been years
and years. I've never told you about
Richard, have I? Ilia name is Powers,
and it ia he that I'm coming to California
to meet. A long, long time ago, when I
waa such a little girl, I scarcely remem
ber it, some kind of Biokneaa broke ont,
and mother and father took it and died.
I can just see mother lying with a white
flower in ter hand as they closed the
coffin lid, aod then in a day or two
some woman said aha wondered
what was to be done with me.
J Somehow or other I got to gramdpa'a
in among the hills, and the cows
that gave me living. Grandpa was
just my mother to me over again, and
there I stayed and woa so happy with
him. I have always been a little girl,
and I shall never bo anything else.
When I am an old woman it seems as
though I shall still be a little girl. How
it all came about I never oould imagine,
but it waa just as the flowers came np in
the snring. and aa the fruit act ripe in
the fall. Orandpa said one morning be
should have a young man come to help
me with the milking, and before night 1
knew Richard; and, somehow. I think I
mnst have been ripening ready to know
him. for my heart was all open to mm
from the first. lie came up to me wbm
it was twilight, and said ho. 'Good even
ing, Marthy,' and then I seemed to fall
into a flutter, and to feel that he seeintd
to know it Oh! I can never tell you
bow Richard seemed to me. Every
night, after that, as I went along the
meadow path be came and said, 'Good
evening, Marthy just so; and I took to
listening so hard for his coming that my
hoart hurt me, and boat in my lips and
cheeks, and all the time grandpa never
knew. One day tbe sky was so bluo and
the air was so sweet I was certain tbat
something was going to happen, and
whether it was the birds singing or my
heart boating out a rhythm I do not
know, bnt in a moment I seemed to be
standi-g among the flowers, for Richard
Lad taken me in bia arms.
"Oh, life had just begun to me then.
and not one day since, not even the day
grandpa died, haa been all sorrow,
tbongb dark days then have been, too,
for in a few weeks more my ltichard
went away, so that by and by he could
marry his 'bud of a girl' that's what he
always called me. Oh, how tender and
true be is! What a grand place his
heart is to live in! What a little qneen
be has crowned me! His letters have
been so loving and so sweet that one can
never como without carrying me tbrongh
the space of heaven; and they were snch
sorrv littlo ones I could write in answer.
80 many noble women must have loved
"aim. Bnt he has loved bis little Marthy
all the time. Ab, Miss Richardson, '
and her earnest, reverent tone deepenod
in its half whispor, "can you imagine
anything at all about vhat I toll you?"
"No, replied Miss Richardson, bit
terly, "for there is no romance, not one
grain of it, in my life. Tbe romance I
bad was spoiled just a short time ago.
Keep your faith in yonr Richard, Marthy,
but I have nono loft for man. You must
go on now and let me know the rest."
"I wonld rather die than lose my laith
in Richard," said Marthy tremulously.
"There is such a little more to tell," she
went on then; "all the time his letters
told me be could not afford to como; ho
was waiting in hopes, aud. oh. if the
timo was to him as to me, then to both it
was a dreary, dreary waiting. And
grandpa began to fret; he wanted to see
me married before be died. But one day,
a month ago, bo died, and left me
alone with the cows. Then, to show
Richard how much I yet loved bim, and
bow little I cared whether he was rich
or whether he was poor, I wrote him a
glud letter, tbat I woa coming to him
at lost. And, ob, I am coming to him
soon, soon. When I reach the end of
my journey, there he will be to take tte
home his home. I can almost boo him
now, so glud to find me again."
Sho was moving rostlessly about like
the wind, and her hands were winding
their fingers about each other, her eyes
shining, aud her chiu with its cleft point
ing into a ray of the moon.
"I think I know your Richard, said
Miss Richardson, by-and-by. "Ho is
tall, handsome man with blonde eyes
and hair, und a pleasant, bright way
with him. You know I live in Sacra
In a few minutes tho porter came
along again, and Miss Richardson gave
orders to have only tbe lower berth
mado, "for we will sleop together to
night, Marthy, she said, quietly.
so all the night long sho lav awake.
with her arms arouud little Mur.hy. All
tho night long, thinking and thinking,
she lay with the sweet breath of the
trusting child woman falling on hor left
hand tho baud wus now shorn of its
"I loved him, too, she cried to her
self, suddenly, and then the arm tight
ened upon tho child-heart beating uuder
it, aud the throb ran through her like
an appaul for mercy. The cars tramped
into and through the night, and oy-and-bv
tho morniUK came, as fair and fresh
as though Kate Richardson had not made
a sacrifice the night before.
V bun the train pulled into the depot
at Sacramento, Miss Richrrdson espied
Dick Powers waiting, and by his side
was Al. Fisher. He was haggard and iu
1 stress ; he was thin, and had grown
five years older than when sho had left
him two months before, lie saw her.
too, and ran along by tho window, grasp
ing the hand she held out to him.
'Oh, katol Kate!" be pleaded, im-.
She went to the door to meet him, and
drew him along the aislo. "Dick, here
is Marthy," said she.
He looked at the wild rose blooming
so sweetly for him, and as he saw the
hazel eyes brimming up with drops, the
falling cornets of tho shy mouth quiver
ing, tho old sweet beonty grew upon him
again, and a hungry smile dawned in his
"Oh, Marthy! little Marthy I" he mur
"At last, dear Richard, at last!" she
cried, and he gathered her in his arms.
Al Fisher took Miss Richardson home,
and she was'gravely polite and smiling
all the way. But it wus two years be
fore sho allowed him to draw the last
drop of bitterness out of her hourt; aud,
evuu then, she gave the last kiss before
hor marriage to Biby Msrthy.
Powers never would think of calling
her any name beside Kate Richordson.
Tbe Arkansas lawyer, especially in
cross-examination, is considered superior.
"'ion say tbat you live in the State?
"Take the witness." fArkansaw Trav
Ml sit' A5D JUTKIVOU.
"I am sure there can be no harm in it,
Maria a cheek was slightly Hushed as
abe spoke the words, and something that
was almost a tear, gave a humid softness
to her hazel eves, sue was a sngut, aei
icato tountf cirl. slender and willowy in
hor figure, and with a complexion that
was transparently pale, save when some
sudden emotion sent tbe crimiton tide
over iU surface. Her dress of deep
mourning was plain, and even coarse in
its details, but there was womanly taste
down to the very arrangement of its som
"Harm? of course thero is no harm,"
sixl.ed Mrs. Cooper, mcchumcally rais
ing her handkerchief to ber eyes. "But
who wonld ever have supposed that
Harry Cooper'a daughter would be re
duced to giving muvio lessons, aud to
advertising for pupils in the daily news
papers? If your poor, dear pupa had
"But, mamma.only listen!" said Maria
taking up the paper; "it is nothing so
very terrible, after all 'Wanted, a few
pupils cn tbe piano, at moderate prices.
Apply, by lotter, to JU. U., street.
You see, mamma, I bave only given the
initials of my name."
"It is just as degrading," sighed Mrs.
'I do net see any degradation," plead
ed Maria, earnestly. "Since it has be
come necessary for me to earn our daily
lavud, where is the harm of availing my
self of one of the accomplishments on
wbioh so much money has been expend
ed? Indeed, mamma, I feel quite proud
to think X can make my knowledge of
"Just like you, Maria you never had
the least bit of aristocratic blood iu
you!"graoaned tho lady in tho widow's
cap and bonikizine draperies. "You are
the very counterpart of your poor, dour
Maria, who had been gazing listlessly
out of the window, suddenly sprung up
at this moment.
"Mercy on us, child! what's the mat
ter?" "It's the postman, mamma, he is com
ing hore. Perhaps my advertisement
may have been answered who knows?
Ibis is the second day of its insertion,
Sho ran lightly down stairs, and
opened the door before the red-armed
servant-maid had got fairly across the
"M C ?" said the postman in
quiringly, as he sorted a note from his
Maria caught the letter and ran up to
her mother's room with it, her eyes
Bparkling with animation.
"A real, veritable answer, mamma
my first pupil! What do you think now?
See, I am to go to Fifth avenue this
afternoon at 3 o'clock to give three les
sons a week. The writer wishes to know
if I consider three dollars a lesson
enough. Enough! Why, mamma, I feel
rich! Isn't it splendid?"
"Who is it?" languidly questioned the
"The lotter is signed C.Harvey
probably some lady who wishes her littio
girl to attain a knowledge of music,
mamma. Thut is quite encouraging."
Mrs. Cooper, however, only heaved a
deep sigh, and stitched industriously
away at her sewing, with an ominous
shake of her head.
As the hour-hand of the little gilded
clock one of tho few relics they had
ventured to preserve of more prosperous
days jumped toward the figure three,
Maria arranged her pretty hair with even
more care than she usually bestowed,
aud donned bonnet and shawl, to set
forth on her mission.
"Good-by, Maria. 1 only hope you'll
not be disappointed."
It wus a little discouraging to Maria to
have cold water sprinkled on her buoyant
hopes in this sort of way, much as she
was accustomed to her mother's nhady
views of life; but she bit lies cherry-red
lips violently, and winked back tbo tears
thut Bpraug to her eyes, trying to remem
ber thut she was no longer little Miss
Cooper, but a dignified music mistress.
She rang the bell at No. Fifth ave
nue, a handsome house, with a vestibule
paved with mosaic marble.
"I wish to seo Mrs. Harvey."
"Mrs. Harvey?" repeated "tho sorvant,
with a pnzzled air.
Maria handed him the lotter.
"You see I call on business," she Raid,
quietly. "I presume I am expected?"
The man, a gray-headed, respectable
looking old servitor, glanced from tho
letter to the yonng lady and back again,
in soma astonishment. However, he re
turned the letter with a bow.
"What name shall I pive, ma'am?"
"No name; announce mo as the music
teacher, if you please."
She followod the man through a wide
hall to a door, which he threw open with
"The musio teacher, sir."
It was a large, handsome room, ele
gantly decorated with pictures and crim
son window hangings. At the further
end stood a grand piano, closed, how
ever, and on a sofa beyond sat a gentle
man of about thirty, reading. He was
dark and handsome, with black hair and
a bronzed complexion, like that of a man
who has spent many years in foreign
countries. As Maria entered he rose with
rather a porplexed expression of counte
nance. "May I inquire what has procured me
Maria blushed, stammered, and at
length succeeeded. in faltering out the
"I am sorry to interrupt you, sir, but
I called to give a musio lesson, ac
cording to appointment. Will yon please
introduce me to my pupil? '
"You are "
"I am the jierson, sir, who advertised
under tbe initials M. C."
The gentieman's turn for embarrass
ment had come now, it seemed, for he
turned scarlet np to the very roots of his
"I thought I understood tbat M. C.
was a gentleman?"
"No, sir." faltered Maria; "bnt I as
sure you I can produce tho very best
testimonials of my ability to teach
musio. If you will summon my pupil
Mr. Harvey laughed, and looked even
more embarrassed than before.
"There are miaunderstandincra all
round," he said; "at least.it would seem
so. Tbe troth is. that I hope it will
make no difference, but well, I may as
well speak at once lam the pupil."
Maria stood dismayed, ber soft, Lazel
eyes fixed wonderingly on the tall six
footer who towered abovo- her, aa he
stood leaning against tbe mantle-piece.
. "The fact is," said he, speaking rap
idly, to cover bis embarrassment, "my
life haa nearly all been spent in India,
and now, on my return, I am anxious to
acquire some of the accomplishments
which I bave always coveted. And but
you are weeping!'
It was too true. Tbe disappointment
bad been too keen for Maria a self-control,
and the tears had beguu to drop
noiselessly on her bonnet ribbon. Sho
brusbod them nervously away.
"It is nothing," ube faltered; "only
the disappointment. We are poor
and I bad so counted on a musio scholar,
Poor little Maria! she fairly broke
down here, and hid her faco behind ber
"But I do not see why we should both
be disappointed, I in a teacher, and you
in a pupil, said tbe gentleman, earn
estly. "Of conrse you will not care to
come here to give an old bachelor his
lessons, but is there any good reason
why an old bachelor shouldn't come
to your residonce? I assure you I'm al
reudy convinced that you will muke an
ex 'lout teacher."
Maria smiled through her tears. There
was Bomotbing very ridiculous in the
idea of that stalwart, handsome fellow
caling himself an old bachelor.
"May I come?" persisted ho, as be
moved toward the door.
"I will see if mamma considers it
proper," she said.
"I should like to state tho question to
mamma myself, said the gentleman
"May I not accompany you home, and
perhaps tuke my first lesson.'
Maria was half uncertuiu whether she
was doing right or wrong.but the bright
frank eyes of tbo stranger pleaded pow
erfully in his behalf; so she said, a little
"Yes, if you choose."
Mrs. Cooper was considerably aston
ished to see her daughter return homo
with red eyes and a Ull escort, but after
mature deliberation, she decided that
Mr. Harvey might, with propriety, re
ceive lessous from hor daughter, pro
vided that she presided over the piano.
But what is the use of spinning a story
into endloss length when our whole pur
pose will be answered precisely as well
by a peep into the handsome drawing
room in Fifth avenue, about three years
A bright light glowed Jin the grate, and
beside the window sat Mrs. Cooper,
stately as ever, with a baby grandson
crowing on ber knee, and inuking vsin
snutcbes nt ber gold spectacles. Mr.
Harvey was nt his writing desk, busily
engaged in letter-writing. Tho door
opened, and a pretty, hazel-eyed young
wife came in our old friend Maria.
"Harry, I want to cut a pattetn," she
said, taking an old newspaper from one
of the compartments of tbe open desk.
"May I hove this paper? It is about the
He looked np ,into her brilliant eyes
with arch tenderness.
"My love, I would rather give yon
almost anything elbe in my possession."
"Why?" she asked, leaning over h;s
shoulder as he unfolded the rescued
paper and glanced eagerly over it.
"Because, dearest, if it hadn't been
for this puper, I should never have had
the sweetest wife in the world."
And he poiuted smilingly to the tiny
little advertisement in an obscure corner:
"Wanted, a few pupils on tbe piano,
at moderate prices. Apply to M. C,
No. , street."
The Laramie Liar.
A tireless historian has produced au
ubstract of the marriage notes of Alioe
Outes, and has found that before she pro
cured a corner in tbe connubial trade ber
name was Alice Merritt.
Judas Iscariot has been beard from
through a spiritualist medium, and says
now that he was inspired. He dida't
think to toll any one of it, however, for
2000 years, and so, of course, the defense
is practically useless at this time.
When a Dutchman fails and tries to
settle with his customers he talks broken
German, and when he falls over into a
show case of crockery it is broken China.
(Versions desiring to use this luke can do
so if they will agree to furnish their own
arnica and court plaster. We can t fur
nish medical treatment with our jokes.)
Insiders say that Western Union is
purposely depressed, so that some large
blocks of stock will not be called on out
sido privileges which mature this week.
Unfortunately it is our outside privilege
to sit on a barbed wire fence which en
closes capital and see the Western Union
go thundering dow n the ages, making
moro money in one week than wo make
in two weeks.
Clara Bell savs: "I know a girl who
prided herself on the deftness with
which sho could embroider iu the pres
ence of her chief suitor without ever dis
closing to him thut the garment all clev
erly bunched in her lap was of the
trouser species." That may be true,
Clara, but the day will come some time
when that same suitor (if he seems to
suitor) will run around behind the house
to club a cow out of the yard and the
clothes line will take him under the chin
and the two departments of that same
garment will clasp him around the neck
and be will wish that be was dead.
Abab Women. Most Arab women
tattoo; the old women dye their hair a
deep red color, and frizzle and pull it
down over their faces. Nothing can be
more hideously ugly than an old Arab
woman; bnt I cannot imagine anything
more beautiful than a young Arab girl,
say from thirteen to sixteen veara of ace.
and who has been brought no in the
same house. They have beautiful
forms, small feet and hands, large black
eyes, round chin, small rosy lips, white
teeth, ana very smooth.good complexion.
They wear their hair pliited and thrown
back, to hang down over their shoulders
and back. They soon fade, however, and
become aa ngly aa they were before
beautiful. In towns the women cover
their ficea when on the street in the
sight of men. but they like to have
Christiana to see them, and will uncover
their faces if no Mussleman ia looking.
The jacket for orean grinder A mon
The prime aabject of extra nniv
gossip has been the attitude of UiVo'r1
with respect to her sons. A.lS
u proviouB loiter, the Prince of W.i
is still greatly irritated at beinVZ'
demned to the position of a merefLu'
bed so Jier-tLe figurehead of ,
marshal The Prince, who fJ'J
spirit and activity, groans to think i,2
he has never set a aquadron in the sin
and mar 1m tuonaa. f i. . uell.
urt iB uouung bo abhorred t.
this country as swagger of an. w- 7
What would be thought only
soldiery style of carriage abroad wouull
condemned here as vulgar bluster , J
"bad form." We are, forsooth, .
modest and retiring; but no eommo2
brave man-Hind the royal familvki
never shown the white feather-like. u
bo passed over when dongeruus dntt l
to the fore. Tho Prince, while ltnj?
ously preserving an attitude of lmZ
obedience to the Queen, has hevol
doubt pressed Her MajHsty very W
this time, and is sorely disappointed a
her refusal to let him go out with tk
array of Egypt. He insisted strong
once before on the ubsurd figure h
would present in the event of sEuro!
nean wir by the side of bis hrother in
law, the Imperial Crown Priuce of Geri
niauy; but he has been met with an id.
peal to precedent. There aom,
mouldy rule alwut the heir apparent
leaving the country for more than a cer
tain tiae, and it is certainly againtf
precedent for him to take the command
of the army in tho field, ulthongh
Goorgo IV. died in the belief that he
at Waterloo. Desrately cut np and
disappointed, the Prince has hecen com
pelled to submit with the best grace tx
sible under the circumstances.
To the Dnke of Connanght's going
out no similar objection could be raised.
Royal dukes have at all times been plen
tiful enough, aud have been sent on
various military expeditions. Butihj
Queen was strong opposed to tbe de
parture of the Duke of Conninght
whom she had previously refused per
mission to go to Sonth Africa. Tbert
was then a great bnbhub, and itu
urged that his marriage was a reasoub
objection. This time the Queen onlr
yielded on strong representations beinj
made to her that she was msking her mm
tbe laughing-stock of Europe. Tin
Prince of Wales at Cowes, the Dnke of
Edinburgh safe ashore in Germany, mil
the Duke of Counaught at Alderstot
would certainly have been a pretty light
to set before; our Boldiers aud sailors.
Embarking for Egypt, the Dnkeol
Albany doos not count, as he is in deli
cate health, and neither a soldier son
sailor; but the Dukes of Edinburgh and
Oonnuught were being made simply
ridiculous, for tbe former is known to be
a very good naval officer, and the latter
to be a very fair soldier as fur as drill
and "the bookish theory" are concerned.
The Duke of Edinburgh was bustled ont
of the reach of danger at the first hint ol
trouble in the East, and is now at leisure
to pluy the fiddle in Germany; and 1
strong affort w as made to keep the Duke
of Connaught at home, as if he were the
only son, like yonng Norval. Fortu
nately tho Queen has yielded to good
counsel, and tbe royal princes are spared
exposnre to the laughter of Europe.
When it was decided that the Duke of
Connaught should go, he was sent in the
most blundering manner possible. In
spite of precedents and common justice
to the Guards Generals, he is given tbe
command of the Brigade of Gnardi,
which, as the guards say openly, will
deprive them of all chances of distinction
as "H. R. II. must he kept out ol
danger.'' To accentuate the extreme un
wisdom which seems to have saddcnlj
come over that most estimable and gen
erally sound practical, common-sense
lady," the Queen, she has decreed that
the Duke of Connaught shall have sn es
cort of Hussars jnst as if his brigade ol
guards could not tako sufficient care ot
Household idon incut.
When any one has a slight knowledge
of drawing, or even the faculty of se
lecting and simply tracing patterns, it
i an easy mutter to adorn a Loose
cheaply nnd tastefully, or to make
many objects which will meet with 1
ready sale. For many years I have
mode a study of adapting to the use ol
the decorative arts objects which bare
been generally wasted, and I am now
almost convinced that there is hardly
anything which is not to bo turned
to account. Nature strangoly enough
always gives two useful qualities to
everybody. The ox is not only a yieUler
of flesh, but his skin provides leather.
The sheep gives mutton aud wool;
tree fruit and wood. And, following np
this thought, we may find that there are
minor and secondary uses in almost ul
that man rejects. In Roman days tbe
seaweed was called by Terrence "vu
alga" the worthless but now it has s
double value as manure and for iodine.
And, to come to a practical illustration,
let me show what can be done with tne
tin cans which are to be found on every
lot around town, and indeed bere
man has been. Most people know Jn
leather of any kind if soaked for some
time in warm water beoomes very
indeed. In this state it may he workeo
almost like putty or paste, When H
dries it beoomes" hard again, .whunug
any marks which have been imprew
on it. If soaked in slum water it W"
comes still harder. Now, if we take
oiQt nf loatlmr naltail and Soft. Dt)
draw npon it a pattern, and then indent
me oucKgruuuu 01 iuio ,
stamp or pnnch, the pattern will,
course, l a in relief, while the bsrt
ground is depressed a littlo, and 11 ln
stamp be rough, it will be corrugatw-
Tbat is to sav, it will bear a Ci"e
semblance to any ordinary PUBJ. .
ing in wood, the ground of which
onrullv imlpntoa an as to make a oara
relief to the shining and elevated patters.
I Our Continent.
Tr MnfVililn an Austin lady, r"
buked her colored cook, Matilda Snow
ball, in the following words:
"When I hired you, you said f
didn't have any male friends, and no J
find a man in the kitchen nan we w---"Lor
breas your aoul, he ain't no m-
friend of mine.'
"Who ia he, then?"
"He am only my husband. I l1