Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 21, 1882)
w-r-T. 1? try mB Jtxt chtarm U ry, it wl ! )f xi av. ia nmj plm, IUf will tll ; U Iv 7hU If H I iiWy veil !a i ia t rabW do, MubA u ( soJ m UVir Mas Illtw srl Mitntt it Bp lb Bl, f ll(ij ('Ai;(h t ) li Woes) llnn (U t t , Ly- arip lhir twitt 4 , fe ful "( lby eaooot Ur Cunv4 art! i"-nn t'flr. hul wiAn h A!) CMir (mUmiU nniMjt 4k, inl ETC. TL flame glowed and sparkled ia th wide-monthed fire-place, leaping and darning io jorooi glee 0 r af!K"l ride of th great YuU log, which bad Len seanoniog for month- in anticipa- tioo of tb "merry Christina time." How ebeerfn! ml coy lL beat room at th "farm bouse" looked on tht CbrUt bum ve, with mnslio curtains, fresb from tb laundry, looped back from th low window, and lied with searbrt ril bon. Farmer McLane believed io let ting the light of Li phaant bom b(n ont into the night to cheer the iMuwor by. Wht jolJy tim tb children wor Laving in the great room, playing "Wind roan' buff' and "pussy wanU corner," atnding forth about of gl t tbe wkward attempt of the elder or tion of the family, who were vainly en deavoring to Uarn (?) tii game. Brother Tom ra driving row of uaiU on either aid of the Aretjace,and by and by each nail tu to bold a pair of little Wakings, and the fire wa to be moth ered out a that HanU CUna would not barn bin feet wbeo b mad hi yearly viit. Ab, me! tho ChrUtmi tree and tbmall ronnd alovepipe hv fir!y erowdel the dear old fellow off from tb atage of action the latter year. They were all too inU-ut watching the Jwiay game to notice tb woe, pinched fee at tb window; bnt the firelight mw it, and flashed littlo wave and ripplo of glory over It. The flame Imped higher and higher, extending a warm invitation to the hotnole child without, wboae aolomo gray eye wore watching, with cuob a hungry light in them, the frolic aome children within, "Well, wll," auid farmer McLane, wiping the perapiration from bit brow, "you little folk can tira me all out and no mistake." II turned to tb window a he spoke, and at that instant every curve and out line of the wee, pinched f uce, lit up by dancing fire-light, wa vividly distinct againat the dark background of the night without. Without a moment' hesitation be owned the door, and drow tho fright ened child into the room. How they crowded about her, and questioned her, thoae happy children, who had never been cold or hungry. There wa a great pity ahining in Mr. McLane' kindly blue eye, he led her np to tb fir which had first attracted her attention and bod drawn her to the window. "Who are you, littlo girl?" ho asked, a ho warmed her blue, chilled hand iu hi. "I'm onlv Mugglo.and "oatohiughnr breath with a aob "I'm ao cold and hungry!" "Whero ara your fathor and mother, dear?" "liolh dead, au' I don't wnnt to go back to Mog. Har, oau't I ahy bore?" "Whom MegV" akod Mr. MoLauo, who came in from another room to (loca tion the little atranger. "Khe'a the woman I live with. Mar died owin' her lot o' rent; ao hn kocp ma to beg fur her, but to-day I didn't got anything, and who whipped mo jimt awfut. Kee here." Bho throwback the loone aleevnaof hor ill-em, whieh hung iu tatter about her, and held tip Iter littlo arm, allowing where tlio whip had left iU cruel mark. "An' ao I rutinod away," aha added, "an' I'd rather die than go back (gain." "Mother," eald farmer Mclitne, look ing up with miaty eye, "lau't there room in Aggie.' led for her?" "Ay, Jamie; but we're far from being rich, you know, aud our own must be tared for." "Huch a wee might of a thing couldn't eat ruuob," aaid he, apreadiug the thin little band out on hi broad palm. "I'll eat jiiHt a little a ever I can," aaid Maggie, looking up appealiugly. "Well, well," auid Mr. McLane, turn ing away and wiping hor yo with the corner of her apron, "wo cau try it, Jamie." "Drive np another nail, Tom. Drive up another n(l," ahouted the children. "Oh, mother, what aball we do?" asked little Agno. "Her tookiug are ao full of bole they'll let the Chriatma thing right through." "You'll hav to lond her ome I gueiw," ai.1 her mother. After the children ha l been all put to U, and the little atranger in one of Aggie' clean, whito night Kwn, luy aleeping teaide her, Mr. and Mr. Mc Iaue ant in trout of the Yule log, which wa now a bod of ooaU, and talked and planned for the future. "I ara afraid that it' an nnwiae thing," eaid alio, ahukiug her head dolu fullv. "Yon hava hnrd work filling the mouth of vour own, Jamie, dear, and thi on will be a groat eiiwnae to uh." "(lud won't aeo u aulTcr lHeauao we ' do a deed of klndneaa to one of bit home leaa little ouea," li anawered. And then began the tank of tilling five parta of locking with the toy and sweetmeat which had been purchawd for four. Littlo Maggie remained at the farm hoii mi fur aovi-ral months; but one day a wealthy, childlea lady, atoping in tb neighborhood, heard the child' atory, and being attracted by Maggie pretty face, she aked ermialon of the Mo Ijane to adopt tlie little waif aa her own. During the month Maggi had been an inmat of their bome, tiiey bad groan to lot her dearly, and ware reluctant to part with har; but they felt that that it would not ouly Im for her own good, but for theirs aa we'd, to lot her go; for their eireamtUore wer such that tby eon Id not afford to keep her. Again it ia Cbriatmaa era, and one ta toe wintry wind ar making drift aod pound of tie oewiy laiiea bdow Tl.iia decked in iU holiday drM, andtheatrert are thronged with gay rMtruris. Learintr mvateriona bandle .nJ DAckare to their reirtiv bomea, la tU bairtiaom parlor of a brown tone reiJeBC, on on of the ariatocratic avenaea, a yoong merchant sita in the brilliant light of a chandelier enjoying the aocietv of his wife and cbild. "Helen" baa forgotten to close the shotter," b aaid, rising and going to window. PUaae. IUIoh. aaid bu wile en treatiogly, "let them remain open thia one evening. . , H tamed toward her wita a aarprwea inquiry in hi eye, f c&n't understand ronr motive in leaving them ojen on thia especial ven inff " tuf aaid. "For mr part. I prefer kva tn home to mvaelf. and do not care to hav the rode ve of tb world at large gazing in. hbe laid one white band on bu arm, tn.1 liftinir her fair face, told him the (rt r.f a Chriatma eve when ahe, homeh little child, bad found a bome and kind friend, because one man had let the onUide world have toe benent 01 hi Cbritmee light. After they bed reeumed their aeata.Mr. !VntncIleihi(liUle daughter to bia side and asked what elae ahe would like for Cbriatmaa. 'I'd like a grandpa best of all," sue uid innocently. "Mamie Well baa two grandpa and a grandma, and I haven't any, not an rat all." Ah me! all lUlpU uenion, annual sadly; "ther ara things, my daughter, that money will not pnrcnaae. lint God will send me a gandpa tor a Cbriatmaa prevent if I ask him to, aaid the child earneatly. "I va got dol lira and cradle and disbee , and every thing but grandpa and grandmas; and I gneaa tbat Uoa can (pare juai one tor me. when be give other little (iris three and four apiece." "But your are ail dead, my lime Amy," said her mother, gently atroking her aunuy hair. "Then (J o.l win mane a new one lor u a 1 . n me, ierited tne cnuo connaeuuy. "Oh, for the faitb or cbildiiood, aaid Mr. Denton, aa bia eyea followed the graceful form of bia daughter, who bad f;one over to the window, and stood miking down into the street. Suddenly be catna back to her mother' lide with a wondering light in her eyea. Mamma," ahe whispered, in an awed voice, "does Kauta CI us ever leave the present on the door step?" "Kometimea, dear," aaid her mother, smiling, "Why do yon ask?" 'Because, I guess be lelt a grandpa there for me, 0 papa, do go quick and re. , Mr. Denton, to satisfy tliD child, went nut into the ball and opened the massive front door. A be did ao, be bemid a feeble old man loaning against the bonne for support. "Foritive me," the old man began, apologetically, "but it looked ao bright and warm in ttiero.and it seemed to warm my old blood just to see it. I'll go away now." "Why, you're my grandpa, and you're not going away," called out little Amy, who had followed hor father to the door. "Maggie, Maggie," cried the old man, leaning forward and peering into the cliilil's face. At the sound of his voice Mr. Denton, who wis Htanding in the hall, came hindily forward, exolaiming: "Mr. Muliane, is it possible that thi Is you?" The old man was taken into the parlor and an easy chair placed for him in front of tho glowing grate. After he had re covered from hi lurpriae at finding the little girl he bad once befriended, ho told his pitiblo atory. His loving wife and little Agues were slooiiing in the churchyard near the old farm house. Tom, many years before, had gone to sea and had never returned. Mary had married a drunkard, and there was scarcely food tnough for her miserable children, aud none lor the aged father. Willis, tint youngest, had married an heiress, whom) liuughtv pride barred tho doors of her elegant home agaiunt her husband 'a father. Old, feeble and home less, ho was Booking alms in tho street when the cheerful light from the rich man's parlor windows lured him to the tens for a doner view. Need I tell the rest? The aged wanderer found a home; little Amy ha found a grandpa, and the blesmng of kind act will follow the old man to hi grave. She Thought She Had Met Iter Fate. Hhewaaa maiden ludj all the way from the claaxio ahodotof Boston, aud when she entered a Twenty-third street oar for the first time she eat down and waited patiently for the conductor to tak her fur, One by one the other passcugors dropped off, until some timo before she reached her destination the waa left alone. Then the driver turnod and looked at her. That first led her to notice him.aud alio ssw a dark, haughty-looking man in a plaid ulater and a uobhy cap, und she know then that he was an Italian Count in disguiae, aud hor heart nearly ceased besting she tried to fathom tho interest that was so plainly discernible in his goo, ami she thrilled with the thought that ho might have discovered in her his fate. II looked again; as he fixed those dark, deep, soulful eyes upon her, with the mute interrogatory of au exiled soul, he tied the lines around the handles of the brakes, and pulled off a pair of ahsbby gloves, exhibiting a white pa trician hand, with a largo seal ring on the littlo linger, (all that for '.H) a mouth and finds himself t) "Beautiful hand," murmured the en raptured pasaeuger. "Oh. he comes.the conquering hero comes. It must be that 1 he at last met my fate." Hhe could not lift her bashful ere to hi as he atood before her aod held one of the beautiful hand within an inch of her ruby lip bia yoico thrilled her aa h began to tak ye, ha was unmis takably a foreigner. "If yoa please, tuum, oid loika y to put yer far in that box." "II was hia far and not hi fsU that h wa sacking. Cruel denouement. But h gave him a nickel and realised again U troth of th poet' word: "And thing ar not what they em." Btrak-Ml ai Ue Waale- Barm baa returned. I mean Bar Bernhardt, the only, real, authentic and anion Kara. She kaabeea abeent for 11 month and gained her million. I Lave been alway ooa of Sara' admirer for two reason: First, on account of her UlenU, and aacondly, because of her in credible energy. This woman whose life aeema to b banging only by a thread, and whom a breath would carry away, entered on a campaign of a magnitude uffieient to temfy anybody traveling day and nigbt.arriviag at her destination only in time to give ber performance, and atarting off agsin to appear in another town. She who i said to U ao badly disciplined and so capricious, only failed to keep ber appointment on one occasion, owing, I beliere, either to a larva train or to indisposition. I found ber. just aa ahe was before her depart a re in her immenoe atelier, aeated in her favorite corner, furnished with cushions of Persian and Japan deaign, dressed in her robe of wbite satin, which follow th undulation of ber figure, holding ber nsual court and conversing . . . ..a a T k ! l . - genially Wltb ail. louring uiia wierrai ha baa traversed I do not know bow many thousands of miles, and given 120 repreaentattna in tne mow ouk me-way places. The most marvelous thing of all m that she ha returned looking lesMeli- 0 . . .a . . m . i cata than when she started. The ncces and satisfaction of baring accompliahed aoch a campaign baa raised ber spirits Smiling and fall of grace she present to ns a new edition ol Dara. uooa nea- vena ! what a number of extravagancies, anecdote and interesting detail I have heard in an hour I In aome the tragic vein prevailed. Listen, for example, to the following: They bad to ero a a bridge oi i ao not know bow many kilometer in length, panning a lake of the Missouri. Sara was in ber American car and other car riage contained ber uite and ber bag gage. A tempesi waa raging uu uic ake at tne time, ana ine guara tearea for the safety of the train, which waa very boavy. Sara insisted upon going on, aa ber appearance had been an nounced for that evening, and the guard decided to detach ber car from those of ber suite and tak her alone acrosa the bridge, leaving the rest on the other side. Sara had scarcely crossed when a portion of the bridge fell in, and thus she not only escaped berself, bnt waa to aome extant the means of saving her company wnicn remained benini. We bare bad bom dangers ana catas trophic," said Sara, "but without once beinn hurt. Twice we arrived after a collision, and assisted the wounded. On one oscasion we came upon five or aix car degringoles, one on the other a human melange of legirma and broken heads." On occasions when they were delayed the Americans patiently waited for them. Once they arrived at 11 o'clock at night, the spectators having been in their places since fonr; but no one com plained, the excitement and curiosity to see Sara sufficing to prevent ennui. Ac cording to her, American town have lit tle tbat i interesting. New Orleant teemed dirty and disgnrting. She toid us that she saw part ol tni city illumin ated "avec des petitis caiman swim ming about, and upon bearing a certain dranl dran! abe asked what waa that sound, and waa told "Oh' e'es quelque serpent a aonette. hara related all this with mysterious gestures, adding color ing and flourishes in such a way as to impart a supernatural horror to ber statement. Truly she made the hair of those who listened to her stand on end. The anecdotes of ber voyage are num erous and I lie auuiecta inexnaustiDie. The most curious tbitg,and what amnsed me most of all, was a story which we may call "Sara and the Whale." Kara was, I think, at Philadelphia, when a leraon, "tres comme u fant, intelligent xiking and well dressed, but wearing an otter skin cap, called upon her. He begged aud entreated her to consent to go and ace the whale. Neither the man nor tho whale were commonplace; he wo a kind of Bam u in, who had already gained HOO.000 franca in exhibiting curl- onitioaof all kind, and who had spent them, de yoa know-how? in atarting a journal, lie still had a few francs, and those he devoted to a whale. The first brought to Lim were too small, but at last be found an immense one, which he obtained for 23,000 francs: somewhat dear perhaps. bnt wait a little. Kara went with her company at 8 o'clock in the morning to see the whale, llarnuro received her lino a queen, and offered hor a cartilege the sea monster, and a piece of its nsh, so that she could have a beefsteak made of it, or rather, to bo more exact, whale steak. Well." continued Dona Sol. "do von know what happened? He followed me to evory town, and eoon aa the billa an- ununoing ray representation had been affixed, another placard apeared close mine, informing the publio of the whale admired by Kara Bernhardt. The whule became, so to speak, my shadow." tilled Kara, smiling. "A regular incu bus, ttowover, we Itocaine friends, not the whale and I, but it exhibitor and I. When 1 descended from the carriage he was alway before me; be took off his oiler skin csp and gave me wolcorao. Sometimes thia inevitable apparition wor ried mo. 'Voua voila encore?' I shouted : but he answered me so amiably that it was impossible to be angry with him. On every tour, after having heard me, people went to see the whale, or vico versa. The whalo tumbled in pieces and had to bo propped np, and the exhibitor spout from 100 to K0 franc daily, and, as ho had less expenses than I, when we arrived at the lunt station of our artistic tour, Tom Lowes this was hi name ad gaiuod 1.'(H).0(X) francs bv the whale admired by Sara Bernhardt." "But I must le iimt; when hia day'a work was finished, ho became a proper geutteman-ho put on hi glove and cuuie to hear me. He paid for his seat! Ohiln'ya rien a dire; il donnait sea vingt francs! Th time of our parting was heartrending for Tom Lowes.- He would havo liked Kara to continue alittle longer her American tour, but at the last moment h aked for an audience, and cam to show hit gratitude. " "You have," be said, 'remade my for tune.' " 'And what will you do with it " 'I ahall start a journal. nowf " 'W hich will probably finish lika th other. " 'Oh, what doe that matter ! I have been coachman, journalist, millionairw. omnibus eondartdt, ate., te. Iwillba in again. Bat will the great Sara aceapt token of my admiration r " Tell me what it ia T" It waa the akeleton of a whala ? Sara thanked him greatly, but told him that tha gi might increase ter luggage ineoaveuienily. Pari Correspondent Italian Fanfolla. rati f KUga aa4 Qaceit la El flail William the Conoueror died from enormous fat, from drink, anJ from the riolrnceof bis passions. Wm. P.nf a died the death of lot poor kU7 which ha hunted. Henry I. died of gluttony. Hennr II. died of a broken heart, oc casioned by bad conduct of hia children. Kicnard Our da Lion, lite ue ani mal from which hia heart waa named, diel by an arrow from an archer. John died, nobody know bow, but it is said from chagrin.which we auppoae is another name for hellebore. Henry III. is aaid to bare died a "natural death." Edward L is aaid to har died of a "natural sickness" a sickneea which would pazzle all the college physicians to denominate. Edward II. waa barbarously and inde cently murdered by ruffians employed by bu own wife and ber paramour. Edward III. died ol dotage, and lucn- ard III. of starvation tha very ' reverse of George IV. Henry IV. is aaid to hav died ol fits caused by uneasiness, and uneasineaa in palaces in thoae times was a very com mon complaint. Hennr V. i said to nave died oi a painful affliction, prematurely. This is a courtly term for getting rid of a king. Henry IY. died in prison, by mean known then only to his jailor, and now only in heaven. Edward V. waa strangled by hi uncle. Richard III. P.ichard III. was killed in battle. Henry VII. waited away as a miser ought to. - Henry VIII. died of carbuncles and fury. Edward I. died of decline. Queen Miry is aaid to have die! of a' broken heart Old Queen Bees is said to have died of melancholy from having sacrificed Essex to his enemies. Jsmea I. died from drinking and the effects of vice. Charles I. died on the scaffold. Charles II. died suddenly it ia aaid of apoplexy. Vvilliam 111. died of consumptive babita of body, aaid from the stumbling of his horse. Queon Anne died from dropsy. George I. died from drunkenness, which bis physician politely called an apoplectic fit. George II. died of rupture of tne heart, which the periodicals of that day termed a visitation of God. George III. died as he had lived a madman. Throughout life he was, at least, a consistent monarch. GeorgelV. died of gluttony and drunk enness. Brother b'ardier on Alms-Ulxlng. "What I was gwine to remark, began Brother Gardner aa the meeting opened, "waa to say dat de season ha now ar rove when de cry fur charity am beard in de land, an' people who hev a dollar to spare am' spec-ted to past it ober to de poor. Fur de convenience of people whose heart ache to do some thin', I hev compiled a list of patients and will fur nish it free gratis on applicasbun. De man who loafs all summer an' beg his way frew de winter am on ue list. De woman who nells her clothing fur money to buy whisky am on de lint. De families which support two or three dogs, a pig an' a dozen hens on de pie and sweet-cake begged by de chli'en am on de list. On dat list I hev put down men who will hand a coat or west ober do bar in exchange fur drink. I hev put down men who spent deir days in Meep and idleness when labores were being paid twelve shillius a day. I hey put down families who sleep on straw an' live on bread an water, au' yet if dey should be handed a dollar in money would use it iu purvidin an oyster upper. When de father of a family kin aim from a dollar to twelve shillina per day, an' de mother from fifty centa to a dollar, what right lies dey to ask fur charity? If a man am old and poo' we hev a county-house fur him. If a poo man am aick wo hev hospital. When a child am left an orphan we hey homos and asylum. "De hull subinck am a fraud on workin' people. We am simply offerin' premium ou loaferism, laziness and degradaahun. Ebery time wo hev in creased our poo' fund we hev increased de number of beggar. Ebery dollar bestowed upon a beggar makes him hate work so much the harder. A child who cos hia parents live by fraud and beg gary am aartin to cotch de same ideas and practice defame principles. Foller de poople aoen the oftonest at the poo' master an' you will find neighborhoods wliar do most potty tbivin am practiced an do mos lirzinesa am indulged in. "When death enters do family of a workin' man he may want a loan. When a laborin' man meets wid an accident his inoome stops, and to tide him ober de gap am a bounden duty. When charity goes beyond dat it support fraud an' breeds vice." Detroit Free Press. Severity in Mem and ix Women. It is as well that no occasion should bo lost of testing the commonplace fact that men are harder than women. Irish ten- ants are said to have found that the re verse of thi is noarur the truth. Speak ing of the coses settled at Ballina. the Times' correspondent say that they were extreme cases, and the faotthat the land has been in the poatcasion of a lady did not diminish the risk of rack-renting. On the oontrary it may be said without any sweeping disparagement of the gentle sex, that in many instances they have been found the most severe and exacting of all the proprietors, who enforc their claim with uncompromising strictness. Pall Mall Gazette. Mho didn't know it until it wa all over. but the menu cards at a New York luncheon party the other evening were painted by the divorced wife of the host ' husband, who now earna her living in thia artiatio way. CatigUg riKfi. A eitixen who had to office on tb top itorj of ft block oo (JrUwold ttreet bad half ft ton of coal dumped on the walk the other daf, and the cart hadn't yet disappeared when a boy came puffins np auin and called out: "Say, want tbat coal lugged op? "Tbnl'a no way to addreaa ft per son," replied the roan. "Why don't yoa addre roe in ft citil, polite manner?". "I)aooo bow," answered the boy. "Well, I'll abew yon. Sit down here and suppose yoa are the owner of the office, and lam the boy who want to bring op yoar coaL" lie elepped into the hall and knocked on the door, a the boy cried, "come in," the man entered the room wilb his bat in bi band, and be;an: "Be!? pardon, air. but yoa bare some co-1 on tne walk below." "Yea." "Shall I bring it up for you?" "Oh cerUinly. "IIow much will yoa pay?" "Well" renlied the bov. ftS he , , looked around at the scaotv lurnc turc. "I eenerallv promise boy fif teen c-enu, and shove bogus quar ter on him, but secio' it'a you, and yoa are the only support of ft large family, n yoa u tiring up inai coai and put it io that box I'll gi?o you my whole income iorayear ana a half and ft pair of old boots in tho bargain." "coy, what do you mean; de manded the man, as bo flushed up. Hut the bov dodged him and reached tho stairs, nod &s he paused at one of the landings to look up be called out; "1 expected every minute thai you'd advise roe to get the coal up stairs before some creditor gobbled it. You can't play boy for shucks!" Detroit, Free Press. A Phantom Beat. Captain Bird, of the schooner Frank Norton, at Dutch Island liar, bor, reports an experience as weird in its events and as ominous in the possible fato of his six fellow beings as any on tbe pages of romance. The r rank .Norton was bound from Rocklunil, Maine, to Philadelphia. Saturday night was very dark, and tbe wind b'.ew strong from '.he north west Terrific hurricanes had swept tbe A '.Ian tic for nearly a month, and something of their power was to be seen in the heavy sea running. At 11 o'clock at night tbe vessel was seen thirteen miles northeast of Thatcher's Island. Captain Bird was at tho wheel when a largo yawl boat was made out As it bore down upon the schooner it was seen that there was fix men in it. The yawl was abreast ot the Norton's chain Elates when ore of the men in ber ailed tbe schooner. Ho said tbat they were a shipwrecked crew, and that they wanted to be taken on board the schooner. Captain Bird at onco put the helm down, and kept off fo leewurd, with tho intent that the men in the bout should bear down upon hiiu. Tbe minutes wore into hours und darkness laded into gray dawn, and no trace was seen of tbe bout. Sunday morning came, but no boat was visible from the schooner us fur us the glass could sweep the seas. Tho Norton was then, at 8 o'clock, put on her course. Tho fate of the men is shrouded in mystery. It is scarcely possible they could have misunderstood the maueurro of tbe schooner, but they may huve been unublo to reach her, or may havo been engulfed in tho high seas.-.Cbicago Tribune. Mr. Itialne. Washington Letter: The question has long been mooted and successive cabinet ladies havo groanod iu spirit and injured their health in the attempt to return a call for each piece of pasteboard left in their card trays on Wednesdays. Three thousand colls are not the most that some of them have received in a season, and any one of a calling turn can soon tell how many afternoous are needed to pay them back iu. Mrs. Bluine seized tho question firmly the moment she became a member of the cabinet family, and what she decreed the ladies acquiesced in. That energotio lady roused many petty wraths and angered pigmy souls, but she swerved not in tho course adopted, and showed that she had the firm purpose and daring of a leader. In gen eral Mrs. Blaine will be missed from the position she has been expected tooo cupy, for what Mrs.' Blaiuo said was quite as momentous as th opin ions of tho mythical Mrs. Grnndy, aud when Mrs. Blaine spoke it was gen erally in a manner to be understood. Many stood in awe of her' and not a few experienced stago-fright in her presence, while the mere fact of her cousin "Gail Hamilton," being in the same room would seal tho lip and freeze the soul of the giddiest society woman. The sar castic Abigail had made it pretty gener ally understood that she considered wo men very small game for the swift ar rows of her long bow; and she cast few or none of her shafts at bucIi inapprecia tive things as humans of her own sex. With msHcuIine minds her own was bet ter able to cope and more alike in characteristics; and famons are the en counters ahe has had over the consinly mahogany with the great men of this dav. An old lady in the country had a dandy from town to dine with her on a certain occasion, and on the table waa an enormous apple pie. "La, ma'am," said the gentleman,"how do you make uch a pie?" "Easj enough," wo the quaint reply, "we make the crust in a wheel barrow, wheel it under an apple tree and then shake the fruit down into it," .ESSE 13D IIow to make a low horse fast don't feed him. Speaking of duels.the year of Jubai E. ha eome. Thieve don't have a very qaiet life even if they do take thing easy. A man seldom feci religious when his teeth are chattering with cold. Actio Louise Carey ia going to marry one of the Lorillard. Oh, chaw. The coffee colored King of Ashantee is called by his intimates "Old Chicory." Circumstances are tbe rulers of the weak, -they are but the instruments of the wine. It is predicted that ice will be high next anmmer, but, then, it is never any thing else. No life can be utterly miserable that is heightened by tbe laughter and love of one little child. When a tailor send home a auit of coachman's parade uniform the family is very much insulted if hi colored man ask for cash on de-livery. The Ash drinka by the gill; the little pig gradually gets accustomed to a hogs head; the man who smokes a little put away a pipe; he tries to get a butt The Parisians have eaten 250 jackasses this year. If a Parisicnne telle you that yon look good enough to eat, yon will know how to value the compliment. It has been said tbat Guiteau is suf fering from soften ir,g of the brain. Pos sibly; but no alarming symptoms of softening of tbe cheek have yet been noted. The Courier-Journal denies that buck wheat cake have anything to do with cutaneous diseases. It isn't the buck wheat cakes, it is the glucose syrup that does it. A land-slide on the Pennsylvania Railroad frightened away two thieves who were after old junk. Even Provi dence takes the the method of using aa axe to smash a fly, sometimes. "Sit down," said a handsomely -dressed and vivacious young lady at a fashion able watering place, "sit down, it's about the only thing you can do here without paying for it." It has just been discovered tbat Gerster is not a great artiste. The dress which she wears in "Trevista" cost only $1000. A 81000 garment might do for an ama teur, but great artistes are known by their 85000 dresses. Everything boor hard upon the poor. The rich man who puts nothing in the contribution box Sunday morning is at once supposed to have left hia pocket book in his other trousers; but the potr man who has bnt one suit of clothe can't get off so easily. Syracuse, N. Y., now comes to the front with the champion ignoramus of the country an the age. Iu a murder trial there, recently, one of the witnesses swore that she could neither read nor write, count, nor tell the time of day. What a juryman that woman would make. N A countryman, upon coming to see the sights, was taken by a town friend to a theater. When the lights were down and the play had commenced, he was offered an opera gloss. Examining it as closely as the darkness of the place would permit, he placed it to hia mouth and turned it upward. Finding that no liquid was coming out of it, he handed it back in despair, saying: "I'ts empty, John; there's no' a single drap in't." Two Irishmen were poring over a newspaper, and coming to the heading "Litest," and then, immediately follow ing it, to the heading "Very Latest," one said to tbe other, "An' sure, Tim, will ye be after explainin' what this mans?" "Arrah, bedad," said Tim, "an" its my self that Cau explain it to ye. Sure the latest is what comes in time to be printed and the very latest is what comes after tho paper is out." "What did you do with that lettet that was on my table?" asked Gns De Smith of the colored boy who cleans up his room. "I tuck it to de postoffice, sab, and put it in de hole. "What did you do that for? Did you not see there was no address on the envelope?" "I saw dat dar was no'writin' on do 'velopo, but I 'lowed yer did dat r on purposs, so I couldn't tell who yer was a writin' to. I'se an edioated negro, I is." Texas Siftings. We seem to remember remarking that David Davis wouldn't look badly in the chair. Springfield Republican. "Look, badly" looks bad. Overhaul your gram mar. Lowell Courier. We oopy tbo above in the hone that it may meet the eye of the school-master. Among people who lay claim to culture we know of no more prevalent solecism than this "look badly," "feel nicbly" atrocity. On might as well say "feel Voldly" or "leel hotly." Boston Transcript. "These rubber garments are Buch a blowing!" remarked a fat man, as he brought into a Btrect car a perfect deluge of water. The lady at his right, who mopped one side of his coat with her costly dress, agreed with him perfectly; the man at the left, who caught about a pint of the drippings in his shoos, could scarcely conceal his admiration; while the little miss to whom the fat man gal lantly offered his seat a few minutes later, went into perfect ecstocie as she sat down in a pool of water left on the car seat. A fond young lover who grew up in the sentimental shades of Alameda, knelt at the feet of ber he loved and begged for a lock of ber bair. She Bhook her practical head. "Can't do it, Ilarry," she said. "Hair is hair thia season; 5 75 for a curled bang and a small for tune for a real switch. But never mind," she added, seeing her tender hearted and sensitive lover weeo, "never mind; but just wait here a minute and I'll run up and bring you down a spoonful of my Sunday complexion." That comforted him. The Binghamton, N. Y., Republican publishea the folLwing: "This para graph may inform somebody that they have lost their upper false teeth. The grinders were found near Kent' cigar manufactory by a lad who brought them to this office. A they won't fit any one here.the owner can have them by calling at the business, office and proving prop erty." We have not the lightest doubt, if these teeth have not been claimed by thia time.that the owner ia now in an ag ony of fear under the impression1, h at he or ah has swallowed them.
