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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 21, 1880)
CINDERELLA. ..iWlf, it's qnltTa riddle, when one JS to think of it," said Mrs. Dale, Stag A tips of her ringed finger. SSively together. "Jeannotte is a charming girl, with a most taking r with her. I'm sure there can be no 5!jbt about her marrying satisfactorily. . Marian's music is an excellent card ij But when one comes to Phil- to P"v ' B?STodd little gipsy, isn't she?" said jr l)ttle. "Docidedly impracticable, I sluKprctty, accomplished or wo- nlv " sighed Mrs. Dale, gloomily. BMrI'DarrellDale had no children of v.r own and she knew the social position .hieh any middle-aged matron gains !Lsheis surrounded by pretty girls, r Mrs Darrell Dale bad invited her Other's daughter's from Hemlock Hol i in the Catskill mountains, to spend the'summer months at Niagara Falls W1,t'I dare say," said slie, confidentially to her sister-in-law, the farmer's wife, Ether will al1 mMry eU beforo the mwn is over; and, in any event, the experience will bo worth a good deal to Vnil honest Mrs. Humphry" took all her ten years' savings out of tho Hem lock Hollow Bank, to equip the three girli suitably for their summer cam- Joannette took to waltzing and the German as naturally as if she had been born to them;, Marian slipped as grace fully into a musical and literary groove; but poor little Phillippa seomed to fit nowhere. She was shy and silent in the ball-room, struck unaccountably mute when she ought to be talkative, and jeenied to prefer the woods, beside the peat cataract, when all the world flocked to the ball room of the Clifton or Inter national. ' "Because, aunt Theo," said honest Phillippa. "I never know what to say to the gentlemon when they ask mo to "Bnt, my dear child," said Mrs. Dale, "that's not tho way to got into society." don't care so very much about jooiety, aunt Theo," said the heretical Phillippa. "Then you 11 never get married in the world, said aunt Theo, in accents of despair. . But even Phillippa was roused into interest when the cards came out for the grand fancy masquerade ball at the In ternational Hotel, and Mr. Dale gave each of his nieces a hundred dollar bill to enable them to appear suitably for the occasion. "I shall personate Undine," said Jean nette, thinking how well she would look in sea-greon crape, crystal fringes and water-lillies. "And I shall le Sappho," cried out Mariun. "Capital," said Mrs. Dale. "And you, Phillippa?" "I don't know yet," said Phillippa, contracting her black eye-brows, "Mr. Mortimer says I ought to go as a gipsy." "Then, my dear," said Mrs. Dale, "be gipsy, by all moans." Both Marian and Jeannette looked a little jealous, for the Hon. Hugo Morti mer, from Montreal, was the lion at Niagara, just then, and his gracious no tice was enough to insure the lucky re cipient a front place in the ranks of fashion. "When did ho say that, puss?" de manded Jeannette. jerking out the rib bons of her sash. "Oh, yesterday, when we were over on Goat Island." "Did he walk with you?" "A little way." "I hope you made yourself agreeable," suggested Marian, tartly. "I don't know whether I did or not," said Phillippa. "And now, Aunt Theo, if you'll give me that bundle of work, I'll take it to Elise Dupre. There'll be just time before tea for me to walk there and back." "But the band will play presently and-" "Thank you, aunt," said Pillippa, "but I don't caro for the band." "Phillippa," said Mrs. Dale, "I do think you are the strangest girl!" Elise Dupre was a thin, consumptive looking girl, who lived among the spruces and tamaracks on the Canadian side, and took in what sewing, embroid ery and lace-mending she was lucky enough to get - a girl in whom Phillippa Humphreys had become somewhat inter ested, because she was so friendless and shadowy and forlorn. But instead of singing at her work, Phillippa found poor Elise sobbing at the window, while her grandmother, a hooked-nosed saffron-skinned old crone, sat rocking herself back and forth by the fireles hearth. The girl put her warm, brown hand on Elise's shoulder. "Elise," said she, "6top crying, and tell me what is the matter V" "Don't touch me, mademoiselle," wailed poor Elise. "They are coming to take me to prison, to-night." And then, in answer to Phillippa's in quiring gaze, she told her how Mrs. St. George had sent a white moire dress there to be re trimmed with costly Span is!, Hf n - A. rV,t- ton House, whose pearls, and diamonds, uu piemua toilets, were tne marvei oi the place and how, bv some accident, the old grandmother Lad contrived to "psf t a kerosene lamp upon it. "It is ruined, of course, wailed El sie, clasping her hands, "I cannot pay 'or it so 1 am to be arrested for the money it is worth. "She mnst be an old hag," said Phil "ppia, impulsively. She is a cold, hard woman, mademoi U," said Elsie, who knows not the "vouiug oi iue wora mercy, auu they pat me in prison, my old grand- i.urf m starve. "They shall not put you in prison," id Philippa, "How much was the dress orth?" 'fik . . j a uei vi money, maueiuuiBcuo - hundred dollars," sobbed the poor girl. . Phillippia Humphrey put her hand " her pocket and there lay the 100 bill, it-mi Y"l , . , . i vui:ie uaie nau given ner, ioiaea in tinr. bin ''there s the money." said bhe, "give IT tSl k - J! ,1 . J J A - mo uuious oiu narpy, ana aon i cry toy more, for jour eyes are swelled to i, lue" ie, already. Elsie looked incredulously at the little r ul paper. " But mademoiselle, you are surely not In earnest," said she, "you cannot mean it?" "Yes, I do," said Philippa, shaking back the jetty rings of hair from her sol emn black eyes, "take that money and pay Mrs. St. George, and say no more about it. "Well, Phillippa," said Mrs. Dale, when her neice came back, "have you docidod on your character yet?" "Yes," said Phillippa quietly, I will be Cinderolla." J "Who?" aked Mrs. Dale, putting her hand behind her ear. "Don't you remember, Aunt Theo, tho little brown-skinned girl who remained at homo when her sisters went to the prince's ball." "What a vory odd choice?" said Mrs. Dale. "It is," said Phillippa, "well, I always did like to be different from other people Aunt Theo." "The masquerade ball was a brilliant success. "Undine," in silver green crape and white water lillies, was as love ly as a dream. "Supho" was tall and pale, and delightfully classic; but there was oue drop lacking in tho cup of fern enine happiness. Mr. Mortimer, for whose benefit half the bolles of Niagara had dressed that evening, was not thore. "So provoking of Phillippa," said Aunt Theo, "to go and throw away all that money." "My dear," said Mrs. Dale, "a good deed is never thrown away. And really that Cinderella idea of the little girl s wasn't so bad ha! ha! ha! She did stay at homo wheu her sisters went to the bail!" "She will never learn wisdom," said Mrs. Dale with some asperity. "It's so strange she don't care about such things." But, as it happened, Phillippa did caro for such things. And at that identical moment she was standing on one of the starlightod verandahs, without, with a pink Shetland shawl around her shoul ders, peeping surreptitiously through the windows at the waltzers. "Miss Phillippa!" She started guiltily. "Oh, Mr. Mortimer! 1 am not doing wrong, am I?" He smiled as he drew her arm through his. "But why are you not dancing, in side?" "I I preferred not, to-night." "Little Thillippa," said Mr. Mortimer, standing, still under the shadow of a drooping elm, "you are equivocating now; and, as it happens, I know the truth." "I don't understand you," said Phil lippa. "My valet is in love with Elise Dupre. Sho has told him all about your deed of kindly charity, and he has told me." "Yes," said Phillippa in a low tone, "my uncle gave me money for a dress, but I preferred helping Elise to going to tho ball." "You told your aunt you were going as Cinderella?" "How do you know? But that's not strictly true," laughod Phillippa. "I was to be Cinderella. And so I am." "Then, Phillippa, if you are Cinder ella, will you let me be the Prince?" "Mr. Mortimor !" "Sweetest, I have been looking all my life for just such a pure, noble heartod girl," said Mortimer, "and now that I have found her, I shall not willingly let her go." "Do you mean" "I mean, love, that I want you for my wife." Mr. Dale could hardly credit his own earn, the next day. when Hugo Mortimor formally requested of him the hand of his youngest nicco in muri-iuge, auu iuio. Dalo lifted her hands and eyes to the ceiling. "To think that it should be Phillippa, after all!" said she. An for "Undino"and "Sappho," they swallowed their mortification and con gratulated the little Brown gipsy as cor dially as possible. "After all," said shrewd Uncle Dale, Phillippa invested her hundred dollars the best of any of you!" Singular Fatality. low Inn. T)r FiKhfir. at tho New VII iuvauu; - i - York hospital, was called upon to render his protessionai services in wuai una proven to be a most remarkablo case. At noon on the day named a lady called at the hospital and avowed that she had ..,ll,o,l a full apt nf teeth. She reauest- ed the physician to examine her for traces oi tnem, nnu saiu wii sue bh oitpiI 47. nn nrtist. who contributed sketches and articles to the Floral Cabinet. She resided at rio. Jo West Ninth street with her two daughters, and on Tuesday last visited some relatives on the Hudson. When making her toilet on Tuesday morning she missed hei teeth, and being unable to find them about her room she camo to the conclusion that during her sleep she must have swallowed them, as she remembered distinctly their presence in her month when retiring. A tickling sensation in her throat seemed to corrob orate this belief. Dressing in haste she hurried ofl' to a resident physician, who examined her for traces of the lost mo lart, but failed to find them. He advised her to search for them, assuring her that if she felt no distress in her stomach it was not possible that they were located as f he supposed. . ci, inirol ii in i)ia result in case her frsrs proved true, and was informed that If she had swallowed mem me ruuu.i would prove fatal. Alsrmed at this, the lady hastened to her apartments, but be ing unable to find her teeth, she boarded .,;,. ir ti.ia ritv nml snnzht relief at the New York hospital. She was in a conniderat le state oi irepiusuon, nnu r .,1 ,n cfTa irrDllt flH'ntfll SnXICtV After a thorough examination Dr. risher declared that she coum noi powiuiy oc ..... m.,1 iha luih She Rezmed con- PB HUM n in kill, in vinced and started for home. Hie bad scarcely left the hospital when sue sua denlv dropped in the street, and wag car- r isher was proceeding to examine hfr .k. nn I. or nil Wml expired. mini rue luiuru uu um A female attendant was called to undress the poor lady in order tomsnean iiivesu ' .i . r hp lpjih when the missing teeth were discovered lodged in her undergarments. A pot-t mortem examination revealed the fact that her death had resulted from no oiner cu v..n mni.. haimiinn nl her mental faculties, bronght abont by the force or imagination. . x. Arv. When a farmer puts a ring on a hog'i bom he atrikea the root of the thing. The Brig Sowers. In .November, 1812, occurrod ono of the most noted mutinies in tho his tory of tho American uavy Whilo in rnid-oceun the officers of the Uni ted States brig-of-war Soniers disco v. orcd that a conspiracy existed on board tno vessel to murder tncm- selves and turn the vessel into a n-ivatecr for the purposo of piracy; nit the ringleaders were discovered and executed and tho crime lVus- tratod. Tho leader in tbo affair was Philip Spencer, son of tho Hon. J. C. Spencer, tho distinguished statesman of isTciv York, then Secretary of War in tho Cabinet of President Tylor. On account ot tbo prominence thus given tho event, tho mutiny was cverywhero a topic of discussion, and reviews of tho caso were writ ton by a number of noted men, in cluding J. Fenimoro Cooper. The Cleveland Leader thus tolls tho story from tho lips of ono of tho crow: Captain William liuttnigton, well- known nlong tho lakes and who lust season sailed tho schooner Pelican, was ono of the crow of tbo Somors. Ho was visited at bis residence on tho Detroit road, yesterday after noon, by a Leader reporter, and re lated tbo story, though modestly pro ferring not to have anything publish- od as coming from him. At tho time of tho mutiny Captain Huflington was eighteen or nineteen years ot age, and many of tho fact9 havo es caped bis memory. Tho Somers sailed from Now York for Liberia, Africa, with dispatches, but was obliged to put back on account of insufficiency ot crow, ana other sea men were obtained from the receiv ing ship North Carolina, Mr. Buffing- ton being a member ot tuo sccona crew. Un tuo return iroin .uiuena, beforo reaching St. Thomas, whoro it was tho intention to stop and take on coal and provisions, word was brought to Captain Alexander bliucii Mackenzie, tho commander of tho Somors, that a conspiracy existed to, capturo the vessol and take her to tho lslo ot rinos, ww ro sno wouiu bo ioiuod by a Mexican pivatoer, and tho two would commence a carcor of firacy. n thoso days, comparatively few steamers sailed tho ocean, and of course tho socurity of tho pirates was much better than it would bo at presont. Wr. Wales, tho stowara ot tho brig, was first brought tho affair to notice un ino uigm, w ixuwui ber 25th, Mr. Wales was asked by Spencer, who was a midshipman, to go aloft with him to tho rigging, where he wanted to converse with him confidentially. When alono tho midshipman accosted Wales with a question: "Do you fear death; do you fear a dead man; are you afraid to kill a man ?" Somowhat sur prised, though still cool and collect ed, tho steward listenod attentively to what followed, taking the oath of socresy imposed upon him by Spencer. Tho latter then unfoldod tho plan for tho mutiny, stating that it was written out on paper and thon undor his collar, back of his cravat, and he would show it in tho morning when it was light so as to road it Twenty of tho crew, ho claimed, wero leagued with him, and tho mur der of tho captain and tho officers of tho vessel would bo an easy matter. When fully apprised of what had taken placo, Captain Mackonzio or dered a strict watch kept of tho movements of Spencer. In a day or two tho Captain encountered Spencer on deck, and asked him what ho meant by such talk to WTales, but tho vounir man explained it was all a joko, and no harm intended. Tho written plot was uemanuca, dui Spencer donied its existence, and a careful search of his person failed to disclose it. It was found, however, secreted in Spencer's razor, case, written in the Greek language; but ono of tho officers understood tho characters and translated them into English. Tho names of tho number of l ho crew wcro written who would bo given a chanco to "walk tho plank" that is, bo dropped over boardand others who were to bo given their choico between compul sory service as pirates, or a wateryi grave. F. Cromwell, tho boatswain's mate, and Elisha Small, a seaman from Boston, were also arrested, they being frequently discovered in conversation with Spencer. The three were double-ironed and taken below. They wcro speedily tried by court-martial and found guilty, the sentence being that the prisoners be executed from tbo yardarm. They were brought up on the morning of November 23th for execution. Small was unmoved and asked his mates to give him a good jerk, so as to mako sure, but Spencer was quite broken down. He was exhorted by Captain Mackenzie to set his companions a good example by bravely dying, the remark having the desired effect. CaLtain Mackenzie briefly addressed the condemned upon the enormity of their crime. Spencer read from the bible and prayer-book, begged for giveness ol'all, and then said he was readv to die. Black caps were made from black handkerchiefs. The colors were to be hoisted at the moment to give solem nity to the occasion, and then the gun was to be fired as a signal at the ropes to pull. Spencer wanted to trive tho siirnal, but afterward he re quested Captain Mackenzie to do it lor bim. nen an was reauy, iue condemned men sitting in then bam mocks, awaiting the dreadful sum mons to another world, tho gun botch ed forth its thunder, tho men at the three ropes drovv in, and tho three unfortunates shot aloft, the sudJen contact with tlio blocks abovo break ing their necks, and hurrying1 them into tho prcsenco of tho great white throne. Two of the mon wcro hung to one of tho main yards, and the third to tho other. The bodies were sown tip in sailcloth, tho feet weigh ed with shot, and tho earthly ro- mains ct tho reckless youths wcro slid ou a plunk through tho portholes and disappeared in the depths of iho ocean. When New York was reached a court of inquiry, composed of Com. modores Stowart, Jacob, Jones and Dallas, examined tho caso, ami ap proved tho courso of Captain Mack enzio. A court-martial whs also hold, Commodoro Downco being president, and tho action of Captain Mackonzio was endorsed. Captain Buffiington says that after reaching Now York the ship physician shot himself, tbrogh it did not appear that he had been concerned in tho mutiny. Capt. Buffiington knew of no other surviv ors of tho crew. A colored man em ployed at tho Union depot, who died last summer, was on board tho Somers al tho timo. It is probablo that thero aro some living, ps tho crew, which consisted of eighty porsoii8,wns com posod of only eight able-bodied sea men, tbo rcimuudcr being boys ot tho first and second class. Tho excito- mont over tho affair in tho United States was intense, and opinions wcro givon for and against Captain Mack enczio's courso. Talleyrand and Fouchct. In the second volume of her memoirs Mine, llemusat indulges in this compara tive study of Talleyrand and Fouchet: Talleyrand and Foueliet wero two very romarkame men, and Dotn were exceed ingly useful to Bonaparte. But it would be dilliciilt to find less resemblance and fewer points of contact between any two persons placed in such close and continu ous relations. The former had studiously preserved the carelessly resolute manner If 1 may use that expression of the no bles of the old regime. Acute, taciturn, measured in his speech, cold in his bear ing, pleasing in conversation, deriving all his power irom hiniseir alone lorne held uo purty in his hand his very faults, and even tho stigma of his abandonment of his former sacred state of life, were sufficient guaranty to revolutionists, who knew him to be so adroit and so supple that they believed him to be always keep ing the means of escaping them in re serve, upsides, ho opened ins mum to no one. lie was quite impenetrable upon the atl'uirs with which ho was charged, and upon his own opinion of the master whom he served; and, as a until touch to this picture, he neglected nothing for his own comfort, wsb caieful in his dress, used perfumes, and was a lover of good cheer and all the pleasures of the senses. He was never subservient to isonaparte, but he knew bow to make himself neces sary to him, and never fluttered htm in public. rouciiei.on tuo contrary, was a genuine d rod act of the revolution. Careless of his aonearance. ho wore the gold lace and the ribbons whicu were the insignia oi his dignities as if he disdained to arrange them. He cuuld laugh at himself on oc casion ; he was active, animated, always restless, talkative, affecting a sort of frankness which was merely the last de gree of conceit J boastful ; disposed to seek the opinion of others upon his con duct bv tulking about it. and sought no justification except in his contempt of a certain class ot morality, or ins cureless ness of a certain order of approbation. But he carefully maintained, to Bona uarte's occasional disquiet, relations with a party whom the Emperor felt himself was obliged to conciliate in his person. With all this, Foueliet was not deficient in a sort of good fellowship. He had even some estimable qualities. He was a good husband to an ugly and stupid wife, and a very good even a too indulgent lather. He looked at revolution as a whole; he hated small schemes and constantly re curring suspicions, and it was becauso this wus his way oi thinking that his pol icy did not suffice for the Emperor. Where I ouchet recognized merit, he did it justice. It is not recorded of him that lie was guilty of any personal revenge, nor did he show himself capable of per bistent joilousy. It is even likely that, although ho remained several years au enemy of Talleyrand's, it was less because he had reason to complain of him than because the Emperor took pains to keep up a division between two men whose friendship he thought dangerous to him self; ami, indeed, it was when they were reconciled that no began to uisirusj uiein both and to exclude them irom umurs. Arthur Uoehllk. There never in this u-nrlil wua a hotter assailant of a iob. a more resolute critic of administrative bungling, than John Arthur Koebuck. "Dog Tear-'em," as he christened himself on one memorable occasion, has never been slow lo lly at toe uiroai oi imuiHiei n. r.rivuta mpnitier wlipn tlin nntilie inter est seemed to demand vigorous action of this kind, ine pity is mat ne iniiiseii should have sunereu so grievously irom tne unrestrained indulgence oi nis vim ilii-tivpnpfis. his iealousv. his morbid self- consciousness. A career which might . i i i i have been a great one nas ueen urougiu to nothing by his own faults, and talents uliii-h mit'ht havn been Ruccesslullv used for the advancement of many noble i i.. ... i rn. I. causes nave oeen uueriy wameu. iron ticlans of To day Weinyss Keid. Somk Skki.etonh. At Highgate, near London, stands a public house, from the window of iiich a skeleton cat challenges the notice (' pasuers-by. In its teeth it holds a skeleton rat, caught no one knows how long ago. Just as we see them now, cat and rut were taken from the chimney when the house was undergoing alter ation. A most grisly chimney-find fell to Home workmen a few years since in the old bouse in the High street of Hull, notable as the birthplace of Wilberforce, the slave emancipator. lor tne skeleton they disturbed was a human one. A banking business was at one time carried on in the house, to the bones were set down to belong to a thief who, hiding in the thimney, either preliminary to com mit lelony, or to escape pnnuit after com mitting it, bad been i u ffocated . t'b a nr bera' Journal. f The Heart Without the Sense of Touch. There is one fact which one cannot think of without some degiee of amaze ment, ami which we tiii 'iit i. ever to think of w iihoiit gieut tl.ankfuliuH. The heart Irn no seiiMM.l outwani touch. If I could put my linger uiul thumb on each side of the heart of some person in this room without touching auy part of his frame, ho would not know when bis heart was touched, unless ho saw mo in the verv act of touching it. What!' some one will exclaim. "do you mean to say that tho heart, which is so instantaneously sympathetic with all niotitul emotion which Is so fearfully subject to palpitation and neuralgia has no sense of outward touch ? It seems in credible!" And yet, it is a known fact that the heart has no sense of outward touch. I might quote to vou more modern proofs : but 1 choose to give you ono which is more than two hundred veara old. be- causo I like to revive the memory of great benetactorsofour raco. and to revive and strengthen our sense of indebtedness to them. The celebrated William Harvey, the discoverer of the circulation of the blood, the physician to King Charles the First, gives to us this extraordinary relation: Tho son of Lord Montgomery hud asevere iractureor tho ribs when a child, whicn left an abscess that could not be cured. He went abroad, and camo back to his country when ho was between eighteen ami nineteen years old, it was reported, with a largo aperture in his left side. through which his lungs could be seen and touched. The king heard of this strange story, and sent Harvey to learn the truth of it. Harvey found tho young nobleman, who readily exposed the wound for Inspection. Instead of tho lungs, Harvey futind it was the apex of the heart that could bo seen and touched. The action of tho heart responded to the beat of tho pulse In tho wrist, and Harvey, the enthusiastic man of science, who en dured so much obloquy for the main tenance of his great doctrine of tho circu lation of the blood, had here a full confir mation of its truth. Ho took tho young nobleman to the king, who also handled the heart, and marked the circulation of tbo blood. But tho most wonderful dis covery, alike to tho king and tho physi cian, was that the young nobleman did not know when they touched tho heart. They found tho heart was without tho sense of outward touch. This is a strong proof of bonlficenco of design in (iod. If tho heart was sensible to outward touch, we should seldom eat without pain. For, as the stomach turns upward and presses against the lungs, and the lungs against the heart, as we con tinue to eat, the act of pacifying our hun ger or gratifying our palate would cause suffering at the heart. Any poor fellow who only got a good dinner once a week, and then indulged himself, would have to pay bitterly for his excess. Cooper' ! (hul, the Soul, and ftiture State." 'About the UirN. The girls in tho principal cities in this country are noted as follows : Detroit, tho wildest. Louisville, the proudest. Boston, the handsomest. Oswego, tho most winning. Albany, the most stuck up. Cincinnati, the gayest flirts. St. Louis, the mos't reckless. Hartford, tho best musicians. Torre Haute, the biggest feet. New Orleans, the most truthful. Baltimore the most intellectual. Bradford, all dumplings and lambs. San Francisco, the most indifferent. Mobile, tho most liberal entertainers. Buffalo, the prettiest and tho wittiest Lnfayotto, the most anxious to be loved. Chicago, theiHHiestand most dissipated Indianapolis, tho most amiablo dispo sition. Philadelphia, tho most refined and lady like. New York, the gayest and most expen sive in dress. Syracuse, the most entertaining and fas cinating. Rochester, the gabbiest. ("Soon Pow ers' block?") Cleavcland, the most graceful and en tertaining in conversation. For Portland girls, a wag suggests that they be accorded all the other virtues and peculiarities not enumerated above and claimed by their lair sisters or other cities. A Fable. A wolf, who was known among his friends us sagacious, swift, sly aud endur ing, and who seldom went to bud hungry, one cay met a wood-chopper's son in the forest. Hostilities between boys and wolves had been suspended for a short time on account of a cump-nieeting in that neighborhood, and the wolf and the boy therefore sat down on a log to discuss the weather and draw each other out on the transformation theory. The wolf never had a fair chance to look a boy over. His rule had been to eat them first and look them over after ward. He now observed that his com panion was twice as bundsome as he wus. and the fact rankled in his jealous nunri. lie forgot that he had been diller ently graded by nature in the beginning, and he began casting about to see how he could gut even. He unully made up his mind that It was the boy's red coal that mado all tho difference, and so he care- lesHlv observed : "I don't suppose you'd like to part with thntold patched coat of yours, would you?" The boy was up to string games and balloon ascensions, and closed witn an offer to lend the wolf his coat for a week if the latter would guide him to a den where three young foxes could be secured. As soon as the wolf secured the coat he wrapped it around him and declared the truce between the wolves snd the boys at an end. That had been his little game from the start. Sounding his war-howl, the wolf summoned bis friends to help make bologna of poor Tom, but, as the eager brutes came up, they went for the red coat and the boy went for a tree. No wolf has any business wearing a boy a outfit, even if it would add to his beauty, and this one was soon clawed Into bag-btrings, and his bones hung on a iack-oine for the wind to fool with. Looking down from his perch in the tree, the boy remarked . "In the first place, don't try to play a Swine game. In the second place, don't go on the princlplethat everybody else is Moral Preserves won't last without sugar, and your neighbor has just as much right to keep chickens as you have to keep a dog. Detroit tret Free. Rich dentist (who is contemplating the erection of a fine residence). "What style of architecture do you recom mend?" Architect seeing it's you. I should think Tuscan would be about the thing. SHOUT HITS. "When the tide comes in" When man and wife arrive at homo. Newspaper columns have been lum- ered up with Maine business. A "rose by any otuer naiuo wouiu smell as sweet," but not oar "iat rows." Tlmf. tlm HiicceHS of the electrio light will benefit London is a fog gone conclu sion. A Boston man wont wash his faoe to save his life. He'll do it to save hia skin. Philadelphia has the bulge on Chicago in one respect. It is named in the Bible. Tho tea that was not thrown overloaril in Boston harbor in the good old days was liberty. Love laughs at locksmiths, but wo lefy anybody or auything to laugh at a plumber. A tree may lie downcast, and not chop- fallen. It may be blown down, for instance. Struniro, but true. A word in .season is scarcely over spoken by a man in u peppery frame of mind. The Free Pre bsvs that although fences do not walk they havo a swing ing gate. Can't they walk the picket msi The Bell telephone Company havo hud to rufuso connection with tho barbers Vps for fear the barbers will monopo lize all tho talk. "Mamma." cried Effio, rushing into tho room, "tho big clock has stopped, I'm suro it has, for I don't hear it cackling!" "Minnie, 1 wish vou would not give milk to your kitten on tho carpet." Minnio: "Don't disturb hor. She's on lier last lap." Tho habits of fruit are peculiar; we havo seen a raisin box, a ft drum, and au apple stand all day on tho corner of a street. A bright little Sunday-school boy was disgusted when told that ramrods wero not named for Ninirod, tho mighty hun ter. Sho was plump and beautiful, and ho ho was wildly fond of her. Sho hated him, but, woman liko, Btrovo to catch him. Ho wus a flea. Altoonu 1 tons t of a cucumber four and a half feet long. There is probably enough colic power in it to run a twelvo- horso power engine. A child be in or asked what wero tho three grout feasts of tho Jews, promptly and not unnaturally replied: " Breakfast, dinner and supper." The Rev. Dr. Sloely has gono to heathen hinds as a missionary. The heathens, it is hoped, will not tako Dr. Hull's advice and out Sloely. Indignunt wife: "If I had known you were coming home m this condition, 1 should huve gone homo to my father's." Inebriated husband: "Hio would yon! I an awful sorry I didn't send you word -hie." "I'm glad I'm not Grant." said an Oil citizen, recently, "for if I was I oouldn't go down to post my books, and wander into a minstrol show without my wife reading it in tho papor tho next morn ing." An Oil citizen reooivod a bill last week from a New York firm, with the usual roquest: "Please write us by next mail; would like to closo our books bofore the first of tho voar." Promptly ho returned tho auswor: "All right, close them up. I havo no objection." Says Puck: A bold, baso, uttorly un trustworthy man tells us tho following advertisement recently appeared in a city paper: "Wanted for adoption A baby with a father. Address widow, Station Z." An interchangeable family ulstor supplies a want long felt. In the pos session of a young married couple it can bo worn by either party. The engage ment ulster is one big enough lor two when tho couple walk out together. Commodore Vandorbilt onoo visited a spiritual medium, who begun by say ing: "Your first wifo wishes to commu nicate with you. "Perhaps so, said tho Commodore, abruptly, "but that is not what I came bore for." A man in Lewiston, New York, having occasion to build a house where a largo elm tree stood, did not out it down, but built around it. The odd sight is now . A M. T A . prosenuKi oi a ireo-wp growing oui oi tho roof of a handsome brick house. Tho man who marries under the im pression that his wife gives up every thing for him father, mother, brothers, sisters and home finds out somotimes that, however much the wifo may have given up, tho father mother, brothers, sisters, etc., have not given hor up. The woman who can sit still and smilingly entertain a male visitor, per ceiving ull the time that he has succeeded in wriggling all tho pins out ot hpr tidy, and is at that precious moment calmly sitting on it, and will probably be for the next hour, is sure of a reward in the next world if she doos not receive it iu this. Tho King and Queen of Spain showed publicly the other day, whilo driving in Madrid, their devotion to thoir Church. They met a priest who was taking tho lost sacraments to a dying man, and, alighting from their carriage, tho young pair lout it to the priest, following on foot. A worthy young moral agriculturist of Piety hill, Shasta county, has been col locting poll tax from Chinamen and giving them Good Templar documents as receipts. Thus he saves some money from - being shipped to China, and spreads temjierance doctrines among tho heathen- Rev. Mr. Lane, of Eensico, New York, is accused by some of his doaeons of kisaing all the women in his flouk. nis wifo says: "Why, of course he kissoa them, and they like it. I saw him kiaa Mrs. Cox in that very room, and she was mighty glad that he responded to her advances. Mr. Lane is a man, I tell yon." There is a wife to be proud of. There is a letter extant in which th writer explains the reason why she had time for letter-writing in the evening was that "Cousin Grace Fletcher is trying to entertain a young man by the name of Daniel Webster by playing checkers. Father and Uncle Chamberlain think him a young man of great promise, but we girls think him awkward and rather verdant.'