CINDERELLA.
..iWlf, it's qnltTa riddle, when one
JS to think of it," said Mrs. Dale,
Stag A tips of her ringed finger.
SSively together. "Jeannotte is a
charming girl, with a most taking
r with her. I'm sure there can be no
5!jbt about her marrying satisfactorily.
. Marian's music is an excellent card
ij But when one comes to Phil-
to P"v '
B?STodd little gipsy, isn't she?" said
jr l)ttle. "Docidedly impracticable, I
sluKprctty, accomplished or wo-
nlv " sighed Mrs. Dale, gloomily.
BMrI'DarrellDale had no children of
v.r own and she knew the social position
.hieh any middle-aged matron gains
!Lsheis surrounded by pretty girls,
r Mrs Darrell Dale bad invited her
Other's daughter's from Hemlock Hol
i in the Catskill mountains, to spend
the'summer months at Niagara Falls
W1,t'I dare say," said slie, confidentially
to her sister-in-law, the farmer's wife,
Ether will al1 mMry eU beforo the
mwn is over; and, in any event, the
experience will bo worth a good deal to
Vnil honest Mrs. Humphry" took all
her ten years' savings out of tho Hem
lock Hollow Bank, to equip the three
girli suitably for their summer cam-
Joannette took to waltzing and the
German as naturally as if she had been
born to them;, Marian slipped as grace
fully into a musical and literary groove;
but poor little Phillippa seomed to fit
nowhere. She was shy and silent in the
ball-room, struck unaccountably mute
when she ought to be talkative, and
jeenied to prefer the woods, beside the
peat cataract, when all the world flocked
to the ball room of the Clifton or Inter
national. '
"Because, aunt Theo," said honest
Phillippa. "I never know what to say to
the gentlemon when they ask mo to
"Bnt, my dear child," said Mrs. Dale,
"that's not tho way to got into society."
don't care so very much about
jooiety, aunt Theo," said the heretical
Phillippa.
"Then you 11 never get married in
the world, said aunt Theo, in accents
of despair. .
But even Phillippa was roused into
interest when the cards came out for the
grand fancy masquerade ball at the In
ternational Hotel, and Mr. Dale gave
each of his nieces a hundred dollar bill
to enable them to appear suitably for the
occasion.
"I shall personate Undine," said Jean
nette, thinking how well she would look
in sea-greon crape, crystal fringes and
water-lillies.
"And I shall le Sappho," cried out
Mariun.
"Capital," said Mrs. Dale. "And you,
Phillippa?"
"I don't know yet," said Phillippa,
contracting her black eye-brows, "Mr.
Mortimer says I ought to go as a gipsy."
"Then, my dear," said Mrs. Dale, "be
gipsy, by all moans."
Both Marian and Jeannette looked a
little jealous, for the Hon. Hugo Morti
mer, from Montreal, was the lion at
Niagara, just then, and his gracious no
tice was enough to insure the lucky re
cipient a front place in the ranks of
fashion.
"When did ho say that, puss?" de
manded Jeannette. jerking out the rib
bons of her sash.
"Oh, yesterday, when we were over on
Goat Island."
"Did he walk with you?"
"A little way."
"I hope you made yourself agreeable,"
suggested Marian, tartly.
"I don't know whether I did or not,"
said Phillippa. "And now, Aunt Theo,
if you'll give me that bundle of work,
I'll take it to Elise Dupre. There'll be
just time before tea for me to walk there
and back."
"But the band will play presently
and-"
"Thank you, aunt," said Pillippa,
"but I don't caro for the band."
"Phillippa," said Mrs. Dale, "I do
think you are the strangest girl!"
Elise Dupre was a thin, consumptive
looking girl, who lived among the
spruces and tamaracks on the Canadian
side, and took in what sewing, embroid
ery and lace-mending she was lucky
enough to get - a girl in whom Phillippa
Humphreys had become somewhat inter
ested, because she was so friendless and
shadowy and forlorn.
But instead of singing at her work,
Phillippa found poor Elise sobbing at
the window, while her grandmother, a
hooked-nosed saffron-skinned old crone,
sat rocking herself back and forth by the
fireles hearth.
The girl put her warm, brown hand on
Elise's shoulder.
"Elise," said she, "6top crying, and
tell me what is the matter V"
"Don't touch me, mademoiselle,"
wailed poor Elise. "They are coming to
take me to prison, to-night."
And then, in answer to Phillippa's in
quiring gaze, she told her how Mrs. St.
George had sent a white moire dress
there to be re trimmed with costly Span
is!, Hf n - A. rV,t-
ton House, whose pearls, and diamonds,
uu piemua toilets, were tne marvei oi
the place and how, bv some accident,
the old grandmother Lad contrived to
"psf t a kerosene lamp upon it.
"It is ruined, of course, wailed El
sie, clasping her hands, "I cannot pay
'or it so 1 am to be arrested for the
money it is worth.
"She mnst be an old hag," said Phil
"ppia, impulsively.
She is a cold, hard woman, mademoi
U," said Elsie, who knows not the
"vouiug oi iue wora mercy, auu
they pat me in prison, my old grand-
i.urf m starve.
"They shall not put you in prison,"
id Philippa, "How much was the dress
orth?"
'fik . . j
a uei vi money, maueiuuiBcuo
- hundred dollars," sobbed the poor
girl.
. Phillippia Humphrey put her hand
" her pocket and there lay the 100 bill,
it-mi Y"l , . , . i
vui:ie uaie nau given ner, ioiaea in
tinr. bin
''there s the money." said bhe, "give
IT tSl k - J! ,1 . J J A
- mo uuious oiu narpy, ana aon i cry
toy more, for jour eyes are swelled to
i, lue" ie, already.
Elsie looked incredulously at the little
r ul paper.
" But mademoiselle, you are surely
not In earnest," said she, "you cannot
mean it?"
"Yes, I do," said Philippa, shaking
back the jetty rings of hair from her sol
emn black eyes, "take that money and
pay Mrs. St. George, and say no more
about it.
"Well, Phillippa," said Mrs. Dale,
when her neice came back, "have you
docidod on your character yet?"
"Yes," said Phillippa quietly, I will
be Cinderolla." J
"Who?" aked Mrs. Dale, putting her
hand behind her ear.
"Don't you remember, Aunt Theo, tho
little brown-skinned girl who remained
at homo when her sisters went to the
prince's ball."
"What a vory odd choice?" said Mrs.
Dale.
"It is," said Phillippa, "well, I always
did like to be different from other people
Aunt Theo."
"The masquerade ball was a brilliant
success. "Undine," in silver green
crape and white water lillies, was as love
ly as a dream. "Supho" was tall and
pale, and delightfully classic; but there
was oue drop lacking in tho cup of fern
enine happiness. Mr. Mortimer, for
whose benefit half the bolles of Niagara
had dressed that evening, was not thore.
"So provoking of Phillippa," said
Aunt Theo, "to go and throw away all
that money."
"My dear," said Mrs. Dale, "a good
deed is never thrown away. And really
that Cinderella idea of the little girl s
wasn't so bad ha! ha! ha! She did
stay at homo wheu her sisters went to the
bail!"
"She will never learn wisdom," said
Mrs. Dale with some asperity. "It's so
strange she don't care about such
things."
But, as it happened, Phillippa did caro
for such things. And at that identical
moment she was standing on one of the
starlightod verandahs, without, with a
pink Shetland shawl around her shoul
ders, peeping surreptitiously through
the windows at the waltzers.
"Miss Phillippa!"
She started guiltily.
"Oh, Mr. Mortimer! 1 am not doing
wrong, am I?"
He smiled as he drew her arm through
his.
"But why are you not dancing, in
side?" "I I preferred not, to-night."
"Little Thillippa," said Mr. Mortimer,
standing, still under the shadow of a
drooping elm, "you are equivocating
now; and, as it happens, I know the
truth."
"I don't understand you," said Phil
lippa. "My valet is in love with Elise Dupre.
Sho has told him all about your deed of
kindly charity, and he has told me."
"Yes," said Phillippa in a low tone,
"my uncle gave me money for a dress,
but I preferred helping Elise to going to
tho ball."
"You told your aunt you were going
as Cinderella?"
"How do you know? But that's not
strictly true," laughod Phillippa. "I was
to be Cinderella. And so I am."
"Then, Phillippa, if you are Cinder
ella, will you let me be the Prince?"
"Mr. Mortimor !"
"Sweetest, I have been looking all my
life for just such a pure, noble heartod
girl," said Mortimer, "and now that I
have found her, I shall not willingly let
her go."
"Do you mean"
"I mean, love, that I want you for my
wife."
Mr. Dale could hardly credit his own
earn, the next day. when Hugo Mortimor
formally requested of him the hand of
his youngest nicco in muri-iuge, auu iuio.
Dalo lifted her hands and eyes to the
ceiling.
"To think that it should be Phillippa,
after all!" said she.
An for "Undino"and "Sappho," they
swallowed their mortification and con
gratulated the little Brown gipsy as cor
dially as possible.
"After all," said shrewd Uncle Dale,
Phillippa invested her hundred dollars
the best of any of you!"
Singular Fatality.
low Inn. T)r FiKhfir. at tho New
VII iuvauu; - i -
York hospital, was called upon to render
his protessionai services in wuai una
proven to be a most remarkablo case. At
noon on the day named a lady called at
the hospital and avowed that she had
..,ll,o,l a full apt nf teeth. She reauest-
ed the physician to examine her for
traces oi tnem, nnu saiu wii sue bh
oitpiI 47. nn nrtist. who
contributed sketches and articles to the
Floral Cabinet. She resided at rio. Jo West
Ninth street with her two daughters, and
on Tuesday last visited some relatives on
the Hudson.
When making her toilet on Tuesday
morning she missed hei teeth, and being
unable to find them about her room she
camo to the conclusion that during her
sleep she must have swallowed them, as
she remembered distinctly their presence
in her month when retiring. A tickling
sensation in her throat seemed to corrob
orate this belief. Dressing in haste she
hurried ofl' to a resident physician, who
examined her for traces of the lost mo
lart, but failed to find them. He advised
her to search for them, assuring her that
if she felt no distress in her stomach it
was not possible that they were located as
f he supposed. .
ci, inirol ii in i)ia result in case her
frsrs proved true, and was informed that
If she had swallowed mem me ruuu.i
would prove fatal. Alsrmed at this, the
lady hastened to her apartments, but be
ing unable to find her teeth, she boarded
.,;,. ir ti.ia ritv nml snnzht relief at
the New York hospital. She was in a
conniderat le state oi irepiusuon, nnu r
.,1 ,n cfTa irrDllt flH'ntfll SnXICtV
After a thorough examination Dr. risher
declared that she coum noi powiuiy oc
..... m.,1 iha luih She Rezmed con-
PB HUM n in kill, in
vinced and started for home. Hie bad
scarcely left the hospital when sue sua
denlv dropped in the street, and wag car-
r isher was proceeding to examine hfr
.k. nn I. or nil Wml expired.
mini rue luiuru uu um
A female attendant was called to undress
the poor lady in order tomsnean iiivesu
' .i . r hp lpjih when
the missing teeth were discovered lodged
in her undergarments. A pot-t mortem
examination revealed the fact that her
death had resulted from no oiner cu
v..n mni.. haimiinn nl her mental
faculties, bronght abont by the force or
imagination. . x. Arv.
When a farmer puts a ring on a hog'i
bom he atrikea the root of the thing.
The Brig Sowers.
In .November, 1812, occurrod ono
of the most noted mutinies in tho his
tory of tho American uavy Whilo
in rnid-oceun the officers of the Uni
ted States brig-of-war Soniers disco v.
orcd that a conspiracy existed on
board tno vessel to murder tncm-
selves and turn the vessel into a
n-ivatecr for the purposo of piracy;
nit the ringleaders were discovered
and executed and tho crime lVus-
tratod. Tho leader in tbo affair was
Philip Spencer, son of tho Hon. J. C.
Spencer, tho distinguished statesman
of isTciv York, then Secretary of War
in tho Cabinet of President Tylor.
On account ot tbo prominence thus
given tho event, tho mutiny was
cverywhero a topic of discussion,
and reviews of tho caso were writ
ton by a number of noted men, in
cluding J. Fenimoro Cooper. The
Cleveland Leader thus tolls tho story
from tho lips of ono of tho crow:
Captain William liuttnigton, well-
known nlong tho lakes and who lust
season sailed tho schooner Pelican,
was ono of the crow of tbo Somors.
Ho was visited at bis residence on
tho Detroit road, yesterday after
noon, by a Leader reporter, and re
lated tbo story, though modestly pro
ferring not to have anything publish-
od as coming from him. At tho time
of tho mutiny Captain Huflington
was eighteen or nineteen years ot
age, and many of tho fact9 havo es
caped bis memory. Tho Somers
sailed from Now York for Liberia,
Africa, with dispatches, but was
obliged to put back on account of
insufficiency ot crow, ana other sea
men were obtained from the receiv
ing ship North Carolina, Mr. Buffing-
ton being a member ot tuo sccona
crew. Un tuo return iroin .uiuena,
beforo reaching St. Thomas, whoro it
was tho intention to stop and take on
coal and provisions, word was
brought to Captain Alexander bliucii
Mackenzie, tho commander of tho
Somors, that a conspiracy existed to,
capturo the vessol and take her to
tho lslo ot rinos, ww ro sno wouiu
bo ioiuod by a Mexican pivatoer, and
tho two would commence a carcor of
firacy.
n thoso days, comparatively few
steamers sailed tho ocean, and of
course tho socurity of tho pirates
was much better than it would bo at
presont. Wr. Wales, tho stowara ot
tho brig, was first brought tho affair
to notice un ino uigm, w ixuwui
ber 25th, Mr. Wales was asked by
Spencer, who was a midshipman, to
go aloft with him to tho rigging,
where he wanted to converse with
him confidentially. When alono tho
midshipman accosted Wales with a
question: "Do you fear death; do
you fear a dead man; are you afraid
to kill a man ?" Somowhat sur
prised, though still cool and collect
ed, tho steward listenod attentively
to what followed, taking the oath of
socresy imposed upon him by
Spencer. Tho latter then unfoldod
tho plan for tho mutiny, stating that
it was written out on paper and thon
undor his collar, back of his cravat,
and he would show it in tho morning
when it was light so as to road it
Twenty of tho crew, ho claimed,
wero leagued with him, and tho mur
der of tho captain and tho officers
of tho vessel would bo an easy
matter.
When fully apprised of what had
taken placo, Captain Mackonzio or
dered a strict watch kept of tho
movements of Spencer. In a day or
two tho Captain encountered Spencer
on deck, and asked him what ho
meant by such talk to WTales, but tho
vounir man explained it was all a
joko, and no harm intended. Tho
written plot was uemanuca, dui
Spencer donied its existence, and a
careful search of his person failed to
disclose it. It was found, however,
secreted in Spencer's razor, case,
written in the Greek language; but
ono of tho officers understood tho
characters and translated them into
English. Tho names of tho number
of l ho crew wcro written who would
bo given a chanco to "walk tho
plank" that is, bo dropped over
boardand others who were to bo
given their choico between compul
sory service as pirates, or a wateryi
grave. F. Cromwell, tho boatswain's
mate, and Elisha Small, a seaman
from Boston, were also arrested,
they being frequently discovered in
conversation with Spencer. The
three were double-ironed and taken
below. They wcro speedily tried by
court-martial and found guilty, the
sentence being that the prisoners be
executed from tbo yardarm. They
were brought up on the morning of
November 23th for execution. Small
was unmoved and asked his mates to
give him a good jerk, so as to mako
sure, but Spencer was quite broken
down. He was exhorted by Captain
Mackenzie to set his companions a
good example by bravely dying, the
remark having the desired effect.
CaLtain Mackenzie briefly addressed
the condemned upon the enormity of
their crime. Spencer read from the
bible and prayer-book, begged for
giveness ol'all, and then said he was
readv to die.
Black caps were made from black
handkerchiefs. The colors were to be
hoisted at the moment to give solem
nity to the occasion, and then the
gun was to be fired as a signal at the
ropes to pull. Spencer wanted to
trive tho siirnal, but afterward he re
quested Captain Mackenzie to do it
lor bim. nen an was reauy, iue
condemned men sitting in then bam
mocks, awaiting the dreadful sum
mons to another world, tho gun botch
ed forth its thunder, tho men at the
three ropes drovv in, and tho three
unfortunates shot aloft, the sudJen
contact with tlio blocks abovo break
ing their necks, and hurrying1 them
into tho prcsenco of tho great white
throne. Two of the mon wcro hung
to one of tho main yards, and the
third to tho other. The bodies were
sown tip in sailcloth, tho feet weigh
ed with shot, and tho earthly ro-
mains ct tho reckless youths wcro
slid ou a plunk through tho portholes
and disappeared in the depths of iho
ocean.
When New York was reached a
court of inquiry, composed of Com.
modores Stowart, Jacob, Jones and
Dallas, examined tho caso, ami ap
proved tho courso of Captain Mack
enzio. A court-martial whs also hold,
Commodoro Downco being president,
and tho action of Captain Mackonzio
was endorsed. Captain Buffiington
says that after reaching Now York
the ship physician shot himself,
tbrogh it did not appear that he had
been concerned in tho mutiny. Capt.
Buffiington knew of no other surviv
ors of tho crew. A colored man em
ployed at tho Union depot, who died
last summer, was on board tho Somers
al tho timo. It is probablo that thero
aro some living, ps tho crew, which
consisted of eighty porsoii8,wns com
posod of only eight able-bodied sea
men, tbo rcimuudcr being boys ot tho
first and second class. Tho excito-
mont over tho affair in tho United
States was intense, and opinions wcro
givon for and against Captain Mack
enczio's courso.
Talleyrand and Fouchct.
In the second volume of her memoirs
Mine, llemusat indulges in this compara
tive study of Talleyrand and Fouchet:
Talleyrand and Foueliet wero two very
romarkame men, and Dotn were exceed
ingly useful to Bonaparte. But it would
be dilliciilt to find less resemblance and
fewer points of contact between any two
persons placed in such close and continu
ous relations. The former had studiously
preserved the carelessly resolute manner
If 1 may use that expression of the no
bles of the old regime. Acute, taciturn,
measured in his speech, cold in his bear
ing, pleasing in conversation, deriving all
his power irom hiniseir alone lorne held
uo purty in his hand his very faults,
and even tho stigma of his abandonment
of his former sacred state of life, were
sufficient guaranty to revolutionists, who
knew him to be so adroit and so supple
that they believed him to be always keep
ing the means of escaping them in re
serve, upsides, ho opened ins mum to
no one. lie was quite impenetrable upon
the atl'uirs with which ho was charged,
and upon his own opinion of the master
whom he served; and, as a until touch to
this picture, he neglected nothing for his
own comfort, wsb caieful in his dress,
used perfumes, and was a lover of good
cheer and all the pleasures of the senses.
He was never subservient to isonaparte,
but he knew bow to make himself neces
sary to him, and never fluttered htm in
public.
rouciiei.on tuo contrary, was a genuine
d rod act of the revolution. Careless of his
aonearance. ho wore the gold lace and
the ribbons whicu were the insignia oi
his dignities as if he disdained to arrange
them. He cuuld laugh at himself on oc
casion ; he was active, animated, always
restless, talkative, affecting a sort of
frankness which was merely the last de
gree of conceit J boastful ; disposed to
seek the opinion of others upon his con
duct bv tulking about it. and sought no
justification except in his contempt of a
certain class ot morality, or ins cureless
ness of a certain order of approbation.
But he carefully maintained, to Bona
uarte's occasional disquiet, relations with
a party whom the Emperor felt himself
was obliged to conciliate in his person.
With all this, Foueliet was not deficient
in a sort of good fellowship. He had even
some estimable qualities. He was a good
husband to an ugly and stupid wife, and
a very good even a too indulgent lather.
He looked at revolution as a whole; he
hated small schemes and constantly re
curring suspicions, and it was becauso
this wus his way oi thinking that his pol
icy did not suffice for the Emperor.
Where I ouchet recognized merit, he did
it justice. It is not recorded of him that
lie was guilty of any personal revenge,
nor did he show himself capable of per
bistent joilousy. It is even likely that,
although ho remained several years au
enemy of Talleyrand's, it was less because
he had reason to complain of him than
because the Emperor took pains to keep
up a division between two men whose
friendship he thought dangerous to him
self; ami, indeed, it was when they were
reconciled that no began to uisirusj uiein
both and to exclude them irom umurs.
Arthur Uoehllk. There never in this
u-nrlil wua a hotter assailant of a iob. a
more resolute critic of administrative
bungling, than John Arthur Koebuck.
"Dog Tear-'em," as he christened himself
on one memorable occasion, has never
been slow lo lly at toe uiroai oi imuiHiei
n. r.rivuta mpnitier wlipn tlin nntilie inter
est seemed to demand vigorous action of
this kind, ine pity is mat ne iniiiseii
should have sunereu so grievously irom
tne unrestrained indulgence oi nis vim
ilii-tivpnpfis. his iealousv. his morbid self-
consciousness. A career which might
. i i i i
have been a great one nas ueen urougiu
to nothing by his own faults, and talents
uliii-h mit'ht havn been Ruccesslullv used
for the advancement of many noble
i i.. ... i rn. I.
causes nave oeen uueriy wameu. iron
ticlans of To day Weinyss Keid.
Somk Skki.etonh. At Highgate, near
London, stands a public house, from the
window of iiich a skeleton cat challenges
the notice (' pasuers-by. In its teeth it
holds a skeleton rat, caught no one knows
how long ago. Just as we see them now,
cat and rut were taken from the chimney
when the house was undergoing alter
ation. A most grisly chimney-find fell to
Home workmen a few years since in the
old bouse in the High street of Hull,
notable as the birthplace of Wilberforce,
the slave emancipator. lor tne skeleton
they disturbed was a human one. A
banking business was at one time carried
on in the house, to the bones were set
down to belong to a thief who, hiding in
the thimney, either preliminary to com
mit lelony, or to escape pnnuit after com
mitting it, bad been i u ffocated . t'b a nr
bera' Journal. f
The Heart Without the Sense of Touch.
There is one fact which one cannot
think of without some degiee of amaze
ment, ami which we tiii 'iit i. ever to think
of w iihoiit gieut tl.ankfuliuH. The heart
Irn no seiiMM.l outwani touch. If I could
put my linger uiul thumb on each side of
the heart of some person in this room
without touching auy part of his frame, ho
would not know when bis heart was
touched, unless ho saw mo in the verv act
of touching it.
What!' some one will exclaim. "do
you mean to say that tho heart, which is
so instantaneously sympathetic with all
niotitul emotion which Is so fearfully
subject to palpitation and neuralgia has
no sense of outward touch ? It seems in
credible!"
And yet, it is a known fact that the
heart has no sense of outward touch. I
might quote to vou more modern proofs :
but 1 choose to give you ono which is
more than two hundred veara old. be-
causo I like to revive the memory of great
benetactorsofour raco. and to revive and
strengthen our sense of indebtedness to
them.
The celebrated William Harvey, the
discoverer of the circulation of the blood,
the physician to King Charles the First,
gives to us this extraordinary relation:
Tho son of Lord Montgomery hud asevere
iractureor tho ribs when a child, whicn
left an abscess that could not be cured.
He went abroad, and camo back to his
country when ho was between eighteen
ami nineteen years old, it was reported,
with a largo aperture in his left side.
through which his lungs could be seen
and touched. The king heard of this
strange story, and sent Harvey to learn
the truth of it. Harvey found tho young
nobleman, who readily exposed the
wound for Inspection. Instead of tho
lungs, Harvey futind it was the apex of
the heart that could bo seen and touched.
The action of tho heart responded to the
beat of tho pulse In tho wrist, and Harvey,
the enthusiastic man of science, who en
dured so much obloquy for the main
tenance of his great doctrine of tho circu
lation of the blood, had here a full confir
mation of its truth. Ho took tho young
nobleman to the king, who also handled
the heart, and marked the circulation of
tbo blood. But tho most wonderful dis
covery, alike to tho king and tho physi
cian, was that the young nobleman did
not know when they touched tho heart.
They found tho heart was without tho
sense of outward touch.
This is a strong proof of bonlficenco of
design in (iod. If tho heart was sensible
to outward touch, we should seldom eat
without pain. For, as the stomach turns
upward and presses against the lungs, and
the lungs against the heart, as we con
tinue to eat, the act of pacifying our hun
ger or gratifying our palate would cause
suffering at the heart. Any poor fellow
who only got a good dinner once a week,
and then indulged himself, would have to
pay bitterly for his excess. Cooper'
! (hul, the Soul, and ftiture State."
'About the UirN.
The girls in tho principal cities in this
country are noted as follows :
Detroit, tho wildest.
Louisville, the proudest.
Boston, the handsomest.
Oswego, tho most winning.
Albany, the most stuck up.
Cincinnati, the gayest flirts.
St. Louis, the mos't reckless.
Hartford, tho best musicians.
Torre Haute, the biggest feet.
New Orleans, the most truthful.
Baltimore the most intellectual.
Bradford, all dumplings and lambs.
San Francisco, the most indifferent.
Mobile, tho most liberal entertainers.
Buffalo, the prettiest and tho wittiest
Lnfayotto, the most anxious to be loved.
Chicago, theiHHiestand most dissipated
Indianapolis, tho most amiablo dispo
sition. Philadelphia, tho most refined and lady
like. New York, the gayest and most expen
sive in dress.
Syracuse, the most entertaining and fas
cinating. Rochester, the gabbiest. ("Soon Pow
ers' block?")
Cleavcland, the most graceful and en
tertaining in conversation.
For Portland girls, a wag suggests that
they be accorded all the other virtues and
peculiarities not enumerated above and
claimed by their lair sisters or other cities.
A Fable.
A wolf, who was known among his
friends us sagacious, swift, sly aud endur
ing, and who seldom went to bud hungry,
one cay met a wood-chopper's son in the
forest. Hostilities between boys and
wolves had been suspended for a short
time on account of a cump-nieeting in that
neighborhood, and the wolf and the boy
therefore sat down on a log to discuss the
weather and draw each other out on the
transformation theory.
The wolf never had a fair chance to
look a boy over. His rule had been to
eat them first and look them over after
ward. He now observed that his com
panion was twice as bundsome as he wus.
and the fact rankled in his jealous
nunri. lie forgot that he had been diller
ently graded by nature in the beginning,
and he began casting about to see how he
could gut even. He unully made up his
mind that It was the boy's red coal that
mado all tho difference, and so he care-
lesHlv observed :
"I don't suppose you'd like to part with
thntold patched coat of yours, would you?"
The boy was up to string games and
balloon ascensions, and closed witn an
offer to lend the wolf his coat for a week
if the latter would guide him to a den
where three young foxes could be secured.
As soon as the wolf secured the coat he
wrapped it around him and declared the
truce between the wolves snd the boys at
an end. That had been his little game
from the start. Sounding his war-howl,
the wolf summoned bis friends to help
make bologna of poor Tom, but, as the
eager brutes came up, they went for the
red coat and the boy went for a tree.
No wolf has any business wearing a
boy a outfit, even if it would add to his
beauty, and this one was soon clawed
Into bag-btrings, and his bones hung on a
iack-oine for the wind to fool with.
Looking down from his perch in the
tree, the boy remarked .
"In the first place, don't try to play a
Swine game. In the second place, don't
go on the princlplethat everybody else is
Moral Preserves won't last without
sugar, and your neighbor has just as much
right to keep chickens as you have to
keep a dog. Detroit tret Free.
Rich dentist (who is contemplating
the erection of a fine residence). "What
style of architecture do you recom
mend?" Architect seeing it's you. I
should think Tuscan would be about
the thing.
SHOUT HITS.
"When the tide comes in" When man
and wife arrive at homo.
Newspaper columns have been lum-
ered up with Maine business.
A "rose by any otuer naiuo wouiu
smell as sweet," but not oar "iat
rows."
Tlmf. tlm HiicceHS of the electrio light
will benefit London is a fog gone conclu
sion.
A Boston man wont wash his faoe
to save his life. He'll do it to save hia
skin.
Philadelphia has the bulge on Chicago
in one respect. It is named in the
Bible.
Tho tea that was not thrown overloaril
in Boston harbor in the good old days
was liberty.
Love laughs at locksmiths, but wo
lefy anybody or auything to laugh at a
plumber.
A tree may lie downcast, and not chop-
fallen. It may be blown down, for
instance.
Struniro, but true. A word in .season
is scarcely over spoken by a man in u
peppery frame of mind.
The Free Pre bsvs that although
fences do not walk they havo a swing
ing gate. Can't they walk the picket
msi
The Bell telephone Company havo hud
to rufuso connection with tho barbers
Vps for fear the barbers will monopo
lize all tho talk.
"Mamma." cried Effio, rushing into
tho room, "tho big clock has stopped,
I'm suro it has, for I don't hear it
cackling!"
"Minnie, 1 wish vou would not give
milk to your kitten on tho carpet."
Minnio: "Don't disturb hor. She's on
lier last lap."
Tho habits of fruit are peculiar; we
havo seen a raisin box, a ft drum, and
au apple stand all day on tho corner of a
street.
A bright little Sunday-school boy was
disgusted when told that ramrods wero
not named for Ninirod, tho mighty hun
ter. Sho was plump and beautiful, and ho
ho was wildly fond of her. Sho hated
him, but, woman liko, Btrovo to catch
him. Ho wus a flea.
Altoonu 1 tons t of a cucumber four and
a half feet long. There is probably
enough colic power in it to run a twelvo-
horso power engine.
A child be in or asked what wero tho
three grout feasts of tho Jews, promptly
and not unnaturally replied: " Breakfast,
dinner and supper."
The Rev. Dr. Sloely has gono to
heathen hinds as a missionary. The
heathens, it is hoped, will not tako Dr.
Hull's advice and out Sloely.
Indignunt wife: "If I had known you
were coming home m this condition, 1
should huve gone homo to my father's."
Inebriated husband: "Hio would yon!
I an awful sorry I didn't send you word
-hie."
"I'm glad I'm not Grant." said an Oil
citizen, recently, "for if I was I oouldn't
go down to post my books, and wander
into a minstrol show without my wife
reading it in tho papor tho next morn
ing."
An Oil citizen reooivod a bill last week
from a New York firm, with the usual
roquest: "Please write us by next mail;
would like to closo our books bofore the
first of tho voar." Promptly ho returned
tho auswor: "All right, close them up. I
havo no objection."
Says Puck: A bold, baso, uttorly un
trustworthy man tells us tho following
advertisement recently appeared in a
city paper: "Wanted for adoption A
baby with a father. Address widow,
Station Z."
An interchangeable family ulstor
supplies a want long felt. In the pos
session of a young married couple it can
bo worn by either party. The engage
ment ulster is one big enough lor two
when tho couple walk out together.
Commodore Vandorbilt onoo visited
a spiritual medium, who begun by say
ing: "Your first wifo wishes to commu
nicate with you. "Perhaps so, said
tho Commodore, abruptly, "but that is
not what I came bore for."
A man in Lewiston, New York, having
occasion to build a house where a largo
elm tree stood, did not out it down, but
built around it. The odd sight is now
. A M. T A .
prosenuKi oi a ireo-wp growing oui oi
tho roof of a handsome brick house.
Tho man who marries under the im
pression that his wife gives up every
thing for him father, mother, brothers,
sisters and home finds out somotimes
that, however much the wifo may have
given up, tho father mother, brothers,
sisters, etc., have not given hor up.
The woman who can sit still and
smilingly entertain a male visitor, per
ceiving ull the time that he has succeeded
in wriggling all tho pins out ot hpr tidy,
and is at that precious moment calmly
sitting on it, and will probably be for the
next hour, is sure of a reward in the next
world if she doos not receive it iu
this.
Tho King and Queen of Spain showed
publicly the other day, whilo driving in
Madrid, their devotion to thoir Church.
They met a priest who was taking tho
lost sacraments to a dying man, and,
alighting from their carriage, tho young
pair lout it to the priest, following on
foot.
A worthy young moral agriculturist of
Piety hill, Shasta county, has been col
locting poll tax from Chinamen and
giving them Good Templar documents as
receipts. Thus he saves some money
from - being shipped to China, and
spreads temjierance doctrines among tho
heathen-
Rev. Mr. Lane, of Eensico, New York,
is accused by some of his doaeons of
kisaing all the women in his flouk. nis
wifo says: "Why, of course he kissoa
them, and they like it. I saw him kiaa
Mrs. Cox in that very room, and she was
mighty glad that he responded to her
advances. Mr. Lane is a man, I tell
yon." There is a wife to be proud of.
There is a letter extant in which th
writer explains the reason why she had
time for letter-writing in the evening was
that "Cousin Grace Fletcher is trying to
entertain a young man by the name of
Daniel Webster by playing checkers.
Father and Uncle Chamberlain think
him a young man of great promise, but
we girls think him awkward and rather
verdant.'