The Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, April 23, 1897, Image 4

The Corvallis gazette., April 23, 1897, Image 4

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Newspaper Page Texti mmmm - - - . "1 . . m a snna m a. . . MM A pi ' A A I sr T llfll 1 1 I I L. V If f 1 ' I UL I.KJl 111 ITIvUJLOIxH I ML. Ul InliUi fliscellany. THE BALLAD OF MAJOR MAHONE. Major Mahone was as gallant a man As ever looked into a gnn; They say he was one of the last to re treat When things went wrong at Boll Run. He fought and he bled in the Wilderness, He waded the Rapidan; Whenever a rebel saw Major Mahone He threw down his musket and ran. High up at a window a maiden once stood. The flames and the smoke swept around; Despair filled her breast as she gazed at the crowd 'Twas seventy feet to the ground; A hero rushed up through the fiery mass, The death demon howled for his own. But the fear-stricken maiden was snatch ed from his teeth By the valorous Major Mahone. With the heart of a lion all the dangers he met; He knew not the meaning of fear; In peace and in war he was dauntless and yet We must shatter the Idol right here; The man who had rushed into ruin's em- Who had' bled on the bullet-swept field, When the dentist's cold forceps were thrust in his face. Forgot all his valor and "squealed. Cleveland Leader. "TATTERS." It ' After baffling the unholy greed of the train conductor for tickets by flash ing an annual pass In his face, the country editor threw his feet up on the nnnnsire. seat and told the following r r story: "Of course, I didn't escape being a victim of the rage for 'woman's edi tions' which sweDt over the land a few months ago. The ladies of a local so viet descended UDon me and I sur rendered, took two pipes, a pound of smoking tobacco and a fishing-rod anl decamped, leaving the Budget in their rtmrire for one week, wltn tne privi Jege of making all they could out of it My printer was supposed to stay, but, being by classification a tramp, and having a heavy board bill banging over bis head by a single hair, ne emDracea the oDDortunity. two hours after I had gone, to walk away down the railroad tranfr. This left the mechanical end of the office at the mercy of the 'devil,' an Inky imp called 'Tatters.' The la dies were a good deal disturbed at the defection of the printer, but bravely decided to go ahead with Tatters and eet out the paper. They called him In to elve him some instructions. He stood before them wearing, as usual, a long apron stiff with Ink, paste and unknown substances; the only thing which saved his face from being In the same condition as his apron was the fact that he was In the habit of constantly twisting It Into so many shapes that the Ink, paste and un known substances on it never had time to stiffen. His hair pointed in all di rections, like that of a Jack-in-the-box, and in his left hand be carried a sec tion of a column of wet type. " 'What are you doing, Tatters? In quired the lady who was president of the amelioration society, with some dig- " 'Throwln' In," answered the Imp. " Throwing in what? " 'Type.' " 'Into what? 'The case. Think I was thrown' ntn mv hatr "The lady looked at him coldly and e went on: But I'm 'most through and you'll me hollerin for copy In 'bout a er of a nour,' and he retreated e composing-room and slammed e ffoor. The Indies were Indignant, but there was clea-Jy nothing for them to do but u gnu ami uuar it. a lew imuuies later there carue a most dismal, long- wn wan rrojn the other room, which, after sonYe effort, they man aged to Interpret as he promised 'hoi lerinv it was ronowea by the ap pearance of Tatters' head at the door. "'What Is ltr asked tha president, who had been chosen edltor-tsj-chlef, little sharply. " 'Copy!' returned Tatters. "Did jrou think I was singing the dozolergy? " There is no copy ready yet Can't you be doing something else? ' " 'I can thatr and he snatched off his apron and started for the door. 'I can be going fishing just as easy as not' " 'Tatters!' cried the frightened edit or, springing before the door, 'don't you dare to desert us! You stay here till some copy is ready for yon.' "Tatters retreated and put on his apron in an agitated frame of mind. "A moment later one of the younger ladles, who had been appointed manag ing editor, took a roll of dainty writ ten manuscript from her handbag and said: - - " 'Here, Tatters, Is something which you can begin on." "Tatters took It sniffed, glanced It and sa id: " 'What Is it spring poetry? "'No, It's the essay that I read commencement We shall put It the fourth page.' "What! the editorial page? shriek ed Tatters. 'Put such guff as that on the editorial page of the Budget! Not much,' and he tossed the manuscript on the table. "we snail certainly ao as we see fit,' Interposed the editor-in-chief with great dignity. " 'I resign!' cried Tatters, again tear ing off his apron and throwing It be hind him, where It struck In the city editor's lap, greatly to her dismay, resign my posish, that's all. Here, you want it In ink, gimme a pen. Lem me write it out in black n' white ''Dear Madam: I hereby resign my posish. (Signed) Tatters." Gimme a pen, I say!' "Tatters, be calm act reasonable,' said the editor-in-chief in a soothing tone. 'What shall we put on the edi torial page? " 'Editorials, of course, he answered, slightly mollified. " 'On what subject? " 'Tariff 'n' the currency.' " 'But we don't know anything about the tariff and the currency. " 'Neither does the boss, but he writes two columns 'bout 'em every week, But if you can't do it write about bikes. "This struck the ladies favorably, and one of them began writing an ar ticle on the bicycle craze, while the city editor handed Tatters an Item, which he took, wrinkling up his nose and re marking that 'her question marks look like button hooks,' and retreater to the composing-room. "For the rest of the day they kept fcim pretty well supplied with work. When not so provided he spent his time perched on a high stool blowing a iwheezy mouth organ and occasionally shouting 'CopyP In an agonized tone. t'BCfi or twice something offended h'm at at on and he threatened to resign, but, as the ladies Immediately surrendered, noth ing came of It "The next two days passed in a some what uneventful manner. By giving him plenty of work he was kept rea sonably quiet There was not much trouble Thursday, either, though short ly after noon he set up a loud roar, saying that he had been taken suddenly sick and was In mortal agony. The ladies asked him if they could not do something for him, but he only howl ed the louder and finally lay down on the floor upon his back and began pounding the boards fiercely with his heels. A doctor was called, but as soon as Tatters saw him he got up quickly and went back to work. " 'What's the trouble with you, young man?' inquired the doctor. 'Antimony poison from the type. answered Tatters, dismally. 'I n go orr some day with It just like scat! All good printers die of It sooner or later.' "Tatters may have tola tne truia alwut his illness, but I learned later on that he had eaten his hatful of green apples at noontime, and you can draw your own conclusions. 'Frldav was press day, ana tne ia- nrrivod at the office early. Tat ters rushed into the front room and, addressing himself confidentially to the city editor, said: " 'Say. want a bully Item or news : " 'Why, yes, Tatters, of course; what Is It? " nnsr flrhf answered Tatters. 'Jim Beasley's dog and Deacon Ketcham's, Down by the postoffice. The deacon didn't want his dog to fight but Jim tildn't care. Set down and get your cencil tell you all about it You see, the dogs met and Jim's dog sort of walked around the deacon's dog once or-what's the matter? Ain't you go ing to use it? r "The editor said he thought not " 'What! cried Tatters, in conster nation, nothing about it after I watch ed it and got all the facts for you? " 'No. I don't think we care for It " 'Now, see here, said Tatters, drop ping his voice into a still more confi dential tone, 'act reason'ble, as you say to me. I saw last night your paper was going to be dull, that it needed liven inz up 'taln't all your fault its a dead week I saw this, I say, and what do you think I did this morning, Just to help you out? "I don't know. Tatters what was It? "Tatters came closer, sank his voice almcst to a whisper and said: " "I drcve the deacon's dog around to the place and then I sicked Jim's onto him. All to give you an ltemr "The lady was deeply touched by his devotion, and said as much, but was forced to add that they could not men tion a common dog fight in their edition. "Tatters drew back and stood silently gazing at her. She expected nothing less than a final resignation on the SDOt But his face showed sorrow rath er than anger. The young lady thought she detected a tear, but this is not nrobable. For a half minute he did not move, then he said: " 'You couldn't use It in a funny way. either. I s'DOse? It was funny. The deacon pulled on his dog's tail and Jim pulled on his dog's tail, though Jim didn't do any hard pulling Jim may have pushed a little when the deacon wasn't noticing. You wouldn't let me write It up, either, I s'pose? "'No, Tatters. . I'd like to, but can't "Tatters turned back to the compos ing-room and not a sound was heard from him except the steady click of his type for an hour, "It was about 11 o'clock when the editor-in-chief came into the office and said to the city editor: " 'I think there is an item of news for us out at Tarbox's, on the Coopers- vllle road. I hear that Mr. Tarbox has been Injured by an unruly cow. It's only a mile and a half out there can't you go out on your bicycle and get the particulars? 'There was a loud shout behind them and Tatters burst in and ran through the room, shedding his apron in his flight and saying: , " 'I'll tend to that girls! - I'm the wild-cow editor of this paper! Back In ten minutest" "The editor-in-chief ran to the win dow and looked down into the street " 'Goodness, gracious! she cried to the other. 'There he goes on your bi cycle, riding like the wind and shout ing for everybody to get out of the way of the wild-cow editor. What shall we do now? I'll see If I can't catch him on your bScvcle. And I'll go on and find out aWrat the accident, anyhow.' "But though she was a good rider, she might as well have tried to over tc "5 an express train as the wild-cow ectO'-r. Leaning over the handlebar am- ringing the bell constantly, he never slackened bis pace for the whole distance. When she arrived at Tarbox's she- found that be had got the facts, gone down the lane and started back by another road. She saw Mr. Tar box, gtt his story of the occurrence and returned herself. Tatters was In the office, looking Innocent and hard at work. "'Don't say anything to him, was the advice of the others. 'He'll surely resign If you do. "She wrote a paragraph about the ac cident and It was sent in to Tatters with the rest of the copy. In a few minutes he came out holding the sheet of manuscript in his hand. "'See here, he said; 'are you going to print such stuff as this about that cow fight? " 'What Is it Tatters? asked the edl-tor-ln-chief. . " 'Just listen,' answered Tatters. She says: "Yesterday forenoon Brook dale's worthy milkman, Mr. Tarbox, had a narrow escape. He had just sep arated a. calf from its mother when the latter became enraged and attack ed him with her horns. He was badly shaken up, but escaped serious Injury, Do you hear that?' " 'Yes. It seems to me all right Put it in Just as It Is.. "Tatters uttered a howL 1 n Then he paused and was silent He looked at the floor for a full minute, then he said: 'No, I'll stick to it After all I've lived through this week it's too late to go now.' He went back to the other room and resumed his work. "It was after supper that night be fore they got to press, brl with the prospect of a good sum for ameliorat ed heathen th ladies did not complain. Tatters' friend, Jim Beasley, had been engaged to come in and turn the crank of the press, while Tatters himself fed In the blank sheets and superintended the work. He seemed remarkably meek and pleasant, and the ladies all observed that they had not seen mm in so amiable a frame of mind during the whole week. The bicycle ride did Tatters good,', they remarked. He ap peared, however, to be In a great hur ry, and constantly urged Jim to turn faster and advised the ladies to make baste with the folding and get the pa ners ready for the postoffice. "It was a little before 11 o'clock that the edition was finished and Tatters began taking the forms off the press. The ladles were in the front room. The editor-in-chief was glancing over the paper. . '"I don't see that item about Mr. Tarbox,' she said. The city editor opened another copy and began to run her eye down the columns. Suddenly she exclaimed: " 'Why, what's this down in the cor ner? "'What is it? cried the others in chorus. She read aloud: "Terrible accident Yesterday fore noon, as old Bill Tarbox, tne miiKman, went into the barnyard to puc a new handle on his pump, the old one being entirely worn out, he was attacked by wild Texas cow. . The critter had hydrophobia and was gnashing her teeth like a hyena and bellowing like an elephant She was a large cow, higher than t. horse, and had horns 'most a rod long. 'tarbox fit her with the handle,- but she tossed him fifty feet into tne air and then. caught -him on the ny and n'lstea mm up again. Chis time he lit In a tree and was res cued by the hook tnd ladder company. The cow jumped a sixteen-foot fence and took to the woods. The mad-cow editor of the Budget followed her and last saw her tearing up large hemlock tree3 with her horns. Tarbox is not expected to live. Full accoint of an interesting and important dog fight next week.' The ladies ran irto the back room. hut Tatters had escaped through the back door. "I got home th- next day and re sumed charee of the Br -et But Tat ters' item was a good thing re char ity after all, because, on account of it a great many people bought the paper who would not otherwise have done so." New York Tribune. To hiake a mad dog to order, tie a tin pan to his tail. A man made mad is one who, after suffering 10, 16 or 20 years with rheu matism, finds that by the use of a bottle of St. Jacobs Oil he is cured. He feels the waste of his life in pain, with the loss of time, place and money, and then reflects that for the expense of 50c. he could have saved all this and lived free of pain; it is snongh to make nim man. Most ol our sui ferings' are intensified by delay in seeking relief, and there is much worth knowing as regards the cure of pain that we find out at last only by the nse of the best cure. It is worth knowing that for the cure of rhen- matism -mere is a special virtue in xno Great Remedy for Pain, St. Jacobs Oil, and as so much can be saved by its nse, the cost is really nothing. A fire was fought in New Jersey re cently, by pumping from wine vats. The loss by fire was 92,000, and it toon (5,000 worth of wine to quench it FORTUNE SEEKING EMIGRANTS. A PRESIDENT'S RECEPTION. An Incident of a Trip to Washington Tears Agm An old-timer was in a reminiscent mood after reading of McKinley's trip tn Washineton. and among other things recited the following incident: "An incident which could possibly oc cur in no other country on the globe and which seems to show the fervor of a most fervid race, and gives an in sight Into President Andrew Johnson's character as a man, such as could not be found in a dozen histories of the man who held every elective office in the power of our sovereign people, from constable of Columbia, Tenn., to President of the United States. "It was Just following the impeach ment trial." said the narrator, "when Mr. Johnson was making his grand tour of the country. His party put up at the Spencer House, which was then a swell hotel. When the Presidential party were leaving the Spencer tht rarriaees were driven from the hotel entrance across the east side of Broad wnv. and it chanced that the one in which Mr. Johnson and Secretary Stan ton were seated pulled up in front of genial Ed Qulnton's railroad hotel, then nt Front and Broadway, but now, like Door Ed. no more. "At that time an old Irishman named Kennedy, nicknamed The Democrat' was employed as houseman at Qujn tnn'a nnrt chanced to be standing at the front door with the youth who was nt once clerk and bookkeeper of the Railroad. " 'Wurra, who's the little fat fellow they're all shakin' hands wut? asked old Kennedy of the clerk. " 'President Andy Johnson,' was the reply. " 'Andy Johnson, the rale out an' out President hlmsel', f rm Washington? " Tb.e same.' " 'Do you think I could shake? " Ton can. "Taking off his battered old hat and producing from It a yard-square red handkerchief, with which he mopped his face and wiped his hands, he ap proached the Presidential carriage, which was an open one. When there he placed his hat firmly between his knees, spat on his hands, extended the right and exclaimed: " 'Wlsha, how are ye, Andy, my de cent ould DImocrat? "The beaming smiles on the face of the old Irishman were reflected on the President's as he grasped the honest hand. " 'Never better, my old friend. How are you? " 'O! begorra, kilt wut pleasure at seein' you. Whisper (the Presidential head bent down to the speaker). 'Come an' have a drink wut me yoarsel', an the ould fellow Qainton have grate whisky, an', by gobs, he'll trate us da- cent' "It Is needless to Bay the party did not drink, but as the carriage started Mr. Johnson, turning to Mr. Stanton, said: - " 'Mr. Stanton, that Is the most heart felt reception I ever met with.' "Cin cinnati Enquirer. Mmit a xmor family that seeks the western nilria in the hone of winning a fortune, is pre served from that insidious foe of the emigrant and frontiersman chills ana lever Dy hos tetter's Stomach Bitters. So effectually does that incomparable medicinal defense fortify the system against the combined influence of malarious atmospnere ana miasma-uumeu water, that protected by it tne pioneer, me miner or the tourist provided with it, may safely encounter the danger. She Even inside the eternal gate what; do you suppose is the last com mandment to be observed? tie onut thet door. Adams Freeman. T know that mv lite was saved by Piso's Cure for Consumption. John A. Miller, Au Sable, Michigan, April za, vsuo. , - Water Power In Sweden. The Swedish government has granted the necessary concessions to four com panies formed for the purpose of utiliz ing for industrial purposes a number of important waterfalls in the nortn oi Sweden. The companies in question are the Angerman River Water-power Company, with a minimum capital of 2,000,000 kronen ($550,000); the In dalen Water-power Company, with a capital of 500,000 kronen ($140,000); thd Jamtland Water-power company. with a capital of 400,000 kronen; the Sodra-Medelpad Water-power Company, with a capital of 600,000 kronen. Paralyzed for. Years. , A CARPENTER SPENDS MANY MONTHS IN BED PHYSICIANS DO HIM LITTLE GOOD. CAME FBOM A FALL. Mark Twain's lie tter. A new" proof of the effectiveness of the modern postoffice is furnished by the Philadelphia Record. A prominent member of the Players' Club of New York, now in this city, has received a letter from Mark Twain un der peculiar circumstances. The recipient of the letter collabor ated with a fellow-member upon a let ter to "Mark," whom they both knew Intimately. They did not know "Mark's" address at the time, so they "addressed the missive, "Mark Twain, God-Knows-Where." Here Is "Mark's" reply: "London, Nov. 24, 1896. Oh, thank you, dear boys, for remembering me, and for the love that was back of It These are heavy days, and all such helps ease the burden. I glanced at your envelope by accident and got sev eral chuckles for reward and chuckles are worth much In this world. "And there was a curious thing; that I should get a letter addressed 'God-Knows-Where' showed that He did know where I was, although I was hid ing from the world, and ii6r' one in America knows my address, and the stamped legend, 'Deflcjency of" Ad dress,' supplied by the "New York post office, showed that He had given Jt away. ; ' "In the same mail comes a letter f sMfc;- friends in New Zealand addressed MYs. Clemens (care Mark. Twain), -United State of America,' and again. He gave us away this time to the deficiency department of the San Fransisco post- J ojce. These things snow mat our post al service has ramifications" Which ram ify a good deal. ; : MAHK." Size of the Brain, " .' " A large brain does not signify intel lect The brain of an illiterate person In a low station of life has been fonnd to outweigh those of the most cele brated scientists, poets and philoso phers. " v It Drew. Champer Did Youngun's cigar draw, do you know?- : Tamper Yes, it drew his face Into a variety of agonized contortions. Fun. Speak to any woman about . the change of pastors at her church, and she will ask, "Have yon heard whether or not the new minister ia marrtedr PARALYSIS From the Express, Los Angeles, California. Just think of a busy, hardworking man paralyzed in the midst of bis ca reer, and rendered useless. That was the misfortune that befell James A. Jones, of 1002 Alpine street, Los Angeles, CaL, in September, 1891. Mr. Jones was born in the state where many of the presidents come from Ohio, bit spent the greater part of his life during his younger years in Iowa, from which place he went to 3olorado, and in 1882 came to Los Angeles. It was a small place then, before the boom came along and pushed us for ward a century in the road of progress, and Mr. Jones followed his occupation of carpenter and builder. While at work in September, 1891, he received a fall which jarred him considerably and he became confined to his bed. Shortly after he lost the use of the lower part of his body entirely, and his legs be came a dead weight. A plaster cast was put upon him by the doctors and they worked over -.him and did all things possible to assist his recovery. But he remained in the same condition. In April, 1893, he began to take Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People. The following June he noticed that he could move his toes, and July 4, 1898, he got up out of bed and later in the month . was able to walk without crutches. Shortly after, still continu ing the pills he went to work at his trade at Whittier's, where he sustained a fall and again injured himself , and. had to go to bed and the dread paraly sis came on again. Again the doctors worked with "him bnt without relief, and he once more began to take Dr. Williams' Pink Pills. The doctors had given him bromides and iodides,- but without effect. Again the pills drove the paralysis into the background. He said "I took them in accordance with directions, and in connection with the use of cold sponge baths, found they were exceedingly beneficial." Mr. Jones is now able to walk again, and be feels that the pills are the only thing that has done him any good. In this connection he said: "The doctors who have treated me have done every thing in their power, but without effect, and it does seem marvelous that paralysis should be overcome by these little pills. But that has been my ex perience. If anyone doubts it let him write to me or come and see me and I will tell them the story." Dr. Williams' Pink Pills contain, m a condensed form, all the elements nec essary to give new life and richness to the blood and restore shattered nerves. They are an unfailing specific for such diseases as locomotor ataxia, partial paralysis, St Vitus' dance, sciatica, neural iga, rheumatism, nervous bead ache, the after effect of la grippe, pal pitation of the heart, pale and sallow complexion, all forms of weakness either in male or female. Pink Pills are sold by all dealers, or will be sent postpaid on receipt of price, 50 cents a box or six boxes for $2.60 (they are never sold in bulk or by . the 10Q), by addressing Dr. Williams' Medicine Company, Schenectady, N. Y. Bam Horn Sounds a Warning Npte to the unredeemed. HERE is no safe side in any kind of sin. The m,a n who keeps close to God will always be able to help others. When there Is a coffin in the house there is a welcome for the preacher. The electric light in the saloon takes the candle out of the drunkard's home. Nothing can make people go' blind any quicker than filling their eyes with gold dust When the right kind of a man is taken out of the miry clay he knows enough to stay out There is always hope for the man who can be taught what a fool be has been by one mistake. . " One finger lost in a buzz-saw will do for most men, but a fool will fool with it again and lose two. One of the highest mountains upon which we may stand in this life is to be able to look back upon a life well spent The devil reaps a sure crop from among people who expect to become Christians after they commit one more sin. Let the priest and the Levite keep out of the Jericho road, and fewer un fortunates will be wounded aud robbed there. - No matter how fine his reports may read, the preacher is a failure whose ministry fails to move anybody toward Christ When about to take his first drink. the young man should remember that every drunkard once stood where he stands. A wise man can learn something worth knowing from a fool, but a fool Is made all the more a fool by going to college. Nothing was done by Lot's home to try to lift Sodom, and so Lot's home .was brought down to the level of Sodom. It was because Paul knew that Chrl.it could save the. whole world that he was so anxious for me whole world to know it Too many people claim to be willing to serve the Lord, who want to say what they shall do and where they shall work. The fact that- there is so much stun that shines like gold makes the story of disaster one of the saddest chapters ever written. The first evidence that a backslider has lost his communion with. God is shown in his being ashamed of his rela tionship to Christ Found Paine's Celery Compound the Best of Remedies For the Nervous Exhaustion Consequent Upon Her Arduous Work The Remarkable Artiste Who Stands Pre-Eminently at the Head of Her Profession. can be picked np behind a The news of Modjeska's recovery from the recent severe sickness that compelled her to leave the stage will be a source of congratulation to the whole world. - Modjeska, in a letter to Wells, Rich ardson & Company, says she has found (what thousands of people in every sta- edge as counter. Paine's celery compound is prepared in exact accordance with the presarip tion of Prof. Edward E. Phelps, M. D., LL. D. , of Dartmouth college. Its curative effects have been closely watched by the ablest physicians of a host more of prominent men and women, including no less than five U. S. congressmen, are among the thou sands of grateful people who have re cently sent to the proprietors- of this wonderful remedy their expression of its unequaled value men and women who can well afford, and do command, the highest medical advice in the country. And then also the people n the ordi nary walks of. life there come thou sands of honest, straighforward, heart felt letters, telling how Paine's celery compound has made them well. Their testimony simply goes to show what New England's most vigorous ed itor so aptly said in a letter telling of the benefit Paine's celery compound had been to a member of his family: "Paine's celery compound is not--a patent medcine; it is not a sarsaparilla; it is not a mere tonic; it is not an or dinary nervine it is asfar bejond them all as the diamond is superior to cheap glass." It makes people well. It is the one I j Health secured to every woman t by the use of Thousands of afflicted women have been cured by its use. Why not You? A Purely Vegetable Preparation A Remedy with a Remarkable Record. . - Will Shoot Sixteen Miles. The Watervleit arsenal, --near Troy, has begun work preliminary to the casting of the largest gun in the Uni ted States. It is to be of sixteen-inch bore. The United States has built two of the larger caliber for coast de fenses, but they were old-fashioned smooth-bores, and not to be compared to the new gun In size, weight or any thing except caliber. There are two twenty-inch guns, one' of which is mounted at Fort Hamilton, and one of which lies on the ordnance dock at Governor's Island. These guns were not startling successes. The one at Fort Hamilton has been fired a few times, and each time Its recoil has raised the very dickens with its car rlagej - . . The new gun will be nearly fifty feet long (to be accurate, 49.67 feet), will have a range of sixteen miles and be able to penetrate twenty-seven and one half Inches of the best steel armor at a distance of t'wo' miles. The gun will weigh 125 tons and It will throw a solid armor-piercing projectile- weigh ing 2,370 pounds. When the projectile leaves the muzzle of the gun it will be traveling at the rate of 2,000 feet a second, and if a plate of harvey-ized steel thirty-three inches In thickness were placed near the muzzle of the gun It would be penetrated by the flying mass of the projectile. This gun, mounted at Fort Wads worth, would be able t6 hurl a 2,370 pound projectile upon a hostile man-of-war before she got within seven miles of Sandy Hook. England has tn her coast defenses and her nary sixteen guns of 16-inch caliber, and France has eight. Italy has twenty-five guns of lX-inch caliber. The new gun, work upon Which has now begun at Water vliet, will, be superior in effectiveness, however, to the Italian guns, although they do have one Inch more caliber. The maximum diameter of the breech of the neW gun will be sixty-two inch es. The diameter of the breech open ing is twenty Inches. To fire this gun will require a charge of 1,066 pounds of powder, if the usual brown prismat ic kind is used. Boston Glabe. tion of life have so often heartily testi- ' every school, and they are today agreed Bed) that Paine's celery compound is the very best of all remedies for nerv ous exhaustion. Joseph Haworth rightly calls Mod jeska "the peerless queen of artists." Modjeska's health is a matter of world-wide interest, and her testimo that it stands alone as the reliable rem edy for building up a person's health in the spring. The most overwhelming testimony-to the value of Paine's celery compound that has recently appeared from men ttliu nuiucu Ul jjnbiuiiai iviubnviviii WUllU-lflUC auwjvuv, uuu ..v. . , nial to the value of the great remedy Hon. George B. Swift, mayor of Chi which makes people well is of particu- cago; Francis Murphy, the foremost lar moment in the early spring, when apostle of temperance in the world; from every quarter reports come of Mrs. Matthew S. Quay, wife of the men, women and children who are tak- great Republican senator from Pennsyl ing Pain's celery - compound, and are f vania; Ex-President Cook, of the Na gaining in nervous vigor, weight and i tional Teachers' Association; Rev. every other indication of better health, j Charles L Thompson, D. D., the bril ; The thonghful portion of the com-' liant Presbyterian leader of New York munitv knows the need of purifying city: Elizabeth Cady Stanton; Secre- the blood and regulatmng the nervous and alimentary systems as spring comes on. There is the danger that -in their eagerness to take a spring remedy . a tary Carlisle's private secretary; State Treasurer Addison B. Colvin of New York; John Graham, the foremost man in American athletics; the wife of Rev. Charles H. Parkhurst, the famous thoughless person may carry home some preacher and reformer, Mayor Mc bogus concoction prepared with only Shane, of Montreal, Major General such a smattering of medical knowl- Birney, Judge. Powers of "Vermont, and true specific recognized and prescribed today by eminent practitioners for dis eases arising from a debilitated nervous system. Prof. Phelps gave to his pro fession a positive cure for sleepless ness, wasting strength, dyspepsia, bil iousness, liver complaint, neuralgia, rheumatism, all nervsus diseases and kidney troubles. For all such com plaints Paine's celery compound has succeeded again and again, where ev erything else ha3 failed. When Modjeska in a letter published in Boston said: "I have found Paine's celery compound the very best of all remedies for the nervous exhaustion consequent upon the arduous work of my profession," she voiced the experi ence of every tired-out, run-down, ex hausted woman whoever went to this greatest of all spring remedies for relief. - No one ever yet failed to find strength and health returning who faithfully used nature's true remedy Paine's cel ery compound. Large bottle or new style ojaller one at your drug-gistd. Write for Medi cal Blank free. Warner's Safe Cure . Com Rochester ,& T. ; Marble. Marble Is an almost universal prod uct, there being no continent and very few subdivisions which do not- produce a fair quality. It Is only pure carbon ate of lime that is to 'say, having the same composition as the ordinary lime stone nsed in building and paving, minus its Impurities. The purest grades of wnite marble were formerly found on the Island of Paros, In the Greek Archipelago, though from many points in Greece and in Asia Minor was also procured the material for the Greek statuary. Italian statuary is at present-mostly made from the marble of Carrara, though many points In Italy furnish stone deemed of equal excel lence. The colored marbles are found in almost every State In this Union, and a very fine quality of white marble in several of the Eastern and Central States. '-- The First American Flajr. A well-known authority on American curios says: "The first resemblance to a flag was the work of Benjamin Franklin and Messrs. Harrison and Lynch." They were chosen as a com mittee to create a national flag, and adopted the King's colors as a union, reunited with thirteen stripes, alternate red and' white; showing that, although the colonies united for defense against England's tyranny, they still acknowl edged her sovereignty." On Tuesday, Jan. 2, 1776, this flag was hoisted In camp at Cambridge, Mass., now Somer ville, receiving a salute of thirteen guns and thirteen cheers. The flr3t American-made flag was hoisted over the capitol at Washington Feb. 24, 1866. all previous flags having been manufactured from English bunting. -A Happy Hnn'er. . Sam Cravens, of Spottsvllle, Ky., was as happy as1 feast could make him on a recent Saturday night when he got three coons and four pailf uls of honey from one tree. . r - When a husband milks me cow, and allows his wife to keep the money made by selling the milk, all the neigh borhood women see a halo around bis bead whenever they look at him ". " ' Electric Return Currents. : The theory, of the earth as a conduc tor .is discussed in a recent issue of the American Electrician by Dr. Bell', and the conclusion arrived at that the con ductivity of the earth is so meager that, except in the case of very high voltages or very minute currents, it ia quite in significant in practical affairs; in rail way return circuits the earth return does much more harm than good; for power service the earth is useless as a return, and in telegraphy alone does it appear likely to serve a permanently useful purpose. This is in marked com parison with the idea formerly preva lent and used in the calculation of ground return circuits that the conduc tivity of the earth is infinite. Brest's Care for Big Hats. The men theater goers at Brest think they have solved the high-hat question. They carry with them big cushions by which they elevate themselves above the millinery obstructions in front, which is all right, provided there are women with big hats behind them. A Scotchman once hired himself to a Chesihre farmer, and one of the famous cheeses, of the conunty was set before j him. His master said to him: "Sandy you take a long time to your breakfast.". . "Troth, master," replied the Scot, "a cheese o this size is nae so soon eaten as ye may think." Household Words. lOO REWARD 100. ph.,Miimtf tli iii t)ATer will be ttleased to learn that there is at least one dreaded disease, that science has been able to cure in all its stages, and that is Catarrh. Hall's Catarrh Cure is the only positive cure knows to the medical iraternity. Catarrh being a constitu tional disease, requires a constitutional ..treat ment. -Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken internally, acting directly upon the blood and mucous : surfaces of the system, thereby destroying the foundation of the disease, and giving the-pa- ; tient strength by building up the constitution and assisting nature in doing its work. The proprietors have so much faith in its curative powers, that they offer One Hundred Dollars for any case that it fails to cure. Send for List of testimonials. ' . , . Address, F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, O. Soldby Druggists, 75c. ' ' ; . Hall's Family Pills are the best. . . i . The National debt of Spain is nearly , $2,000,000,000 and the annual interest 180,000,000. - ' : . . - EQHE rBODDOTt AND rCBC FOOD. 3U: Eastern Syrup, so-called, usually very oi n REASONS FOR USING Walter Baker & Co.'s Breakfast Cocoa. Because it is absolutely pure. Because it is net mide by the so-called Dutch Process in which chemicals are used. Because beans of the finest quality are used. Because it is made by a method which preserves unimpaired the exquisite natural flavor and odor of the beans. Because it is the most economical, costing less than one cent a cup. Be sure that you get the genuine article made by WALTER . . . ... r . a c.hl.hMi I7AA DAhCK KM. L.U1., UWUKSKf, l.w. .-o. ARE YOU A STRONG MAN?- That is, a perfect man, the fellow who feels hircself above other men in those vital ele menis that von must -have to make man hood complete. Did you ever see him? It is one of man's faults to be indiscreet, and a man must be made different from the rest of us who has not been. As indiscretion is . common, so is its sequel weakness, waste of vital force, lost manhood. This is the train of evils lo'.lowing early mistakes, and few men are free from them in a more or less degree. Hence the need of a natural stimulant is widespread. The only true remedy for this want of vital force Elec tricity, as given to. the weakened parts by Dr. Sanden's Electric Belt "lam much improved in every respect, and have more confidence' in myself than I everexnecwd tonavngain. There are some men who are stronger than me yet, but I f Jel thari have now regained the full Vigor of manhood from your Belt I can leel the !!ctrity warning up my vital nerves 1 am very grateful to you, Dr. Sanden," write. E. M. Snodgrass, Albion, Jrtauo, February 22, 1897. . ... .- , . Dr Sanden has demoted twenty years to- perfecting his Electric Belt, and especially to to th'am.h"aUon of its curative powers in weakness of men. He ha. been repaid by the reVeint Srth betters like the above. Much valuable information is given in the lUUe book "THREE 04A6SE8 OF MEN," wbk is sent free, sealedon application. SANDEN ELECTRIO BEtT CO, 53 West Washing-ton St., Portland. Or. ' : HTken writing to Advertiser pfease mention this piper. ry bouy.ls maae irom lucose. "Tea Garden Drips" is made Jrom- light colored sod clucose. "Tea 6 lugar Cane and is strictry pure bv first-class grocers, in-cans only. Slanutac- tured by the Pacific Coast Syrup Co AH gen uine "Tea Garden Drips" have -the manufac turer's name lithographed on every can. The Universal Supply Hoftse, Established 1885 5M& SUPPLIES Groceries, Hardware, Agricultural Implements, Harness, Boots, BhaeV Dry-Goods, Music, Etc.. Send e for- Large illustrated Catalogues. vnVlTturiR TAkEN IN EXCHANGE.' It is for- sale . siTpktv eo..lFroi'tSt ASan FranescD,Ca. . Make cessiul Chicago. sell whea Th rhinocerona is the most formid-". able and pugnacious ol .all wildTsts.yget 1 iuflpartieulars. Best of reference 10 FOR THB ON-. bator mad Frelrht Prepaid to your nearest Railroad Station or Steamer Lanaing. im finest Incubator catalog ever issued mailed free if you write and mention this paper FZTALUMA TJCTTBATOK CO.. T etalBJA, C1 money by suc imecnlatioh in W e .buy and eat there on mar- Fortunes have' been-' made- on a small eiven.- Sev eral years' experience on- the Chicago Board of .ah I .11 II IT - nniii Trftrte Brokers. Offices in Portland, .Oregon,. .Spokane and Seattle, Wash. ' ' ' i. .1 r. i m tuio ... - . ., . r . t rr 3- -nlM m Thimn,h knowledge ol tne DUSl- n "Jr- . 1 S""7y-rtVf...Crt iThicrum Board C !-n!H. 1UTIMlIlKi a.f.i"" ' . r "CHILDREN TETHJNC.!lw.j k uidfor obiidrea teMking. It tovth Ui cMld,otl- yy-y RAZORS m In sizes FINEST tN-.THlf-WORLD. Pinck's "C- C." -Razor 4-8. 5-3 and 6-8. -Price. S2.0O. v .T.h.ti0i) it jirvt. fi&tisfactorv. . Send for General Catalogues Catalogue of Sporting Goods or Barber Supplies. WILL & FIN CK CO., SO Xsrkt St. - San Francisco, Cal. PyThfW hM tm bee? time- when fTow rfera should guard against failure with more I c&re. There bu.iwTr been time when i J Ferry Seed were more essential. Xne are I .(, always the tr-t. For sale by leading j r dealers erery where. Inaist on having thorn. ; (FERRY'S SEED fa fall of information for -gardeners end fl planters. T&ero will never be a better tuns I W than now to send for the 1097 edition. Free J D. M Ferry A Co., Detroit, Mich. XI7PTVRK and PILES cared; ho pay un it til cured; send for book. Drs. Mansfield & Portebfield, 338 Market St., San Francisco. trrttnTLTiujfr ash Brran. TsaiaaeoL Qcrarh avraa. tn ttosv Sold by dr-tn. RT N.P.N. U. No. 698. &F.N.U-N0.