i mmmm - - - . "1 . . m a snna m a. . . MM A pi ' A A I sr T
llfll 1 1 I I L. V If f 1 ' I UL I.KJl 111
ITIvUJLOIxH I ML. Ul InliUi
fliscellany.
THE BALLAD OF MAJOR MAHONE.
Major Mahone was as gallant a man
As ever looked into a gnn;
They say he was one of the last to re
treat When things went wrong at Boll Run.
He fought and he bled in the Wilderness,
He waded the Rapidan;
Whenever a rebel saw Major Mahone
He threw down his musket and ran.
High up at a window a maiden once
stood.
The flames and the smoke swept around;
Despair filled her breast as she gazed at
the crowd
'Twas seventy feet to the ground;
A hero rushed up through the fiery mass,
The death demon howled for his own.
But the fear-stricken maiden was snatch
ed from his teeth
By the valorous Major Mahone.
With the heart of a lion all the dangers
he met;
He knew not the meaning of fear;
In peace and in war he was dauntless
and yet
We must shatter the Idol right here;
The man who had rushed into ruin's em-
Who had' bled on the bullet-swept field,
When the dentist's cold forceps were
thrust in his face.
Forgot all his valor and "squealed.
Cleveland Leader.
"TATTERS."
It
' After baffling the unholy greed of the
train conductor for tickets by flash
ing an annual pass In his face, the
country editor threw his feet up on the
nnnnsire. seat and told the following
r r
story:
"Of course, I didn't escape being a
victim of the rage for 'woman's edi
tions' which sweDt over the land a few
months ago. The ladies of a local so
viet descended UDon me and I sur
rendered, took two pipes, a pound of
smoking tobacco and a fishing-rod anl
decamped, leaving the Budget in their
rtmrire for one week, wltn tne privi
Jege of making all they could out of it
My printer was supposed to stay, but,
being by classification a tramp, and
having a heavy board bill banging over
bis head by a single hair, ne emDracea
the oDDortunity. two hours after I had
gone, to walk away down the railroad
tranfr. This left the mechanical end
of the office at the mercy of the 'devil,'
an Inky imp called 'Tatters.' The la
dies were a good deal disturbed at the
defection of the printer, but bravely
decided to go ahead with Tatters and
eet out the paper. They called him
In to elve him some instructions. He
stood before them wearing, as usual,
a long apron stiff with Ink, paste and
unknown substances; the only thing
which saved his face from being In
the same condition as his apron was
the fact that he was In the habit of
constantly twisting It Into so many
shapes that the Ink, paste and un
known substances on it never had time
to stiffen. His hair pointed in all di
rections, like that of a Jack-in-the-box,
and in his left hand be carried a sec
tion of a column of wet type.
" 'What are you doing, Tatters? In
quired the lady who was president of
the amelioration society, with some dig-
" 'Throwln' In," answered the Imp.
" Throwing in what?
" 'Type.'
" 'Into what?
'The case. Think I was thrown'
ntn mv hatr
"The lady looked at him coldly and
e went on:
But I'm 'most through and you'll
me hollerin for copy In 'bout a
er of a nour,' and he retreated
e composing-room and slammed
e ffoor.
The Indies were Indignant, but there
was clea-Jy nothing for them to do but
u gnu ami uuar it. a lew imuuies
later there carue a most dismal, long-
wn wan rrojn the other room,
which, after sonYe effort, they man
aged to Interpret as he promised 'hoi
lerinv it was ronowea by the ap
pearance of Tatters' head at the door.
"'What Is ltr asked tha president,
who had been chosen edltor-tsj-chlef,
little sharply.
" 'Copy!' returned Tatters. "Did jrou
think I was singing the dozolergy?
" There is no copy ready yet Can't
you be doing something else? '
" 'I can thatr and he snatched off his
apron and started for the door. 'I can
be going fishing just as easy as not'
" 'Tatters!' cried the frightened edit
or, springing before the door, 'don't
you dare to desert us! You stay here
till some copy is ready for yon.'
"Tatters retreated and put on his
apron in an agitated frame of mind.
"A moment later one of the younger
ladles, who had been appointed manag
ing editor, took a roll of dainty writ
ten manuscript from her handbag and
said: - -
" 'Here, Tatters, Is something which
you can begin on."
"Tatters took It sniffed, glanced
It and sa id:
" 'What Is it spring poetry?
"'No, It's the essay that I read
commencement We shall put It
the fourth page.'
"What! the editorial page? shriek
ed Tatters. 'Put such guff as that on
the editorial page of the Budget! Not
much,' and he tossed the manuscript
on the table.
"we snail certainly ao as we see
fit,' Interposed the editor-in-chief with
great dignity.
" 'I resign!' cried Tatters, again tear
ing off his apron and throwing It be
hind him, where It struck In the city
editor's lap, greatly to her dismay,
resign my posish, that's all. Here,
you want it In ink, gimme a pen. Lem
me write it out in black n' white
''Dear Madam: I hereby resign my
posish. (Signed) Tatters." Gimme a
pen, I say!'
"Tatters, be calm act reasonable,'
said the editor-in-chief in a soothing
tone. 'What shall we put on the edi
torial page?
" 'Editorials, of course, he answered,
slightly mollified.
" 'On what subject?
" 'Tariff 'n' the currency.'
" 'But we don't know anything about
the tariff and the currency.
" 'Neither does the boss, but he writes
two columns 'bout 'em every week,
But if you can't do it write about
bikes.
"This struck the ladies favorably,
and one of them began writing an ar
ticle on the bicycle craze, while the city
editor handed Tatters an Item, which
he took, wrinkling up his nose and re
marking that 'her question marks look
like button hooks,' and retreater to the
composing-room.
"For the rest of the day they kept
fcim pretty well supplied with work.
When not so provided he spent his time
perched on a high stool blowing a
iwheezy mouth organ and occasionally
shouting 'CopyP In an agonized tone.
t'BCfi or twice something offended h'm
at
at
on
and he threatened to resign, but, as the
ladies Immediately surrendered, noth
ing came of It
"The next two days passed in a some
what uneventful manner. By giving
him plenty of work he was kept rea
sonably quiet There was not much
trouble Thursday, either, though short
ly after noon he set up a loud roar,
saying that he had been taken suddenly
sick and was In mortal agony. The
ladies asked him if they could not do
something for him, but he only howl
ed the louder and finally lay down on
the floor upon his back and began
pounding the boards fiercely with his
heels. A doctor was called, but as soon
as Tatters saw him he got up quickly
and went back to work.
" 'What's the trouble with you, young
man?' inquired the doctor.
'Antimony poison from the type.
answered Tatters, dismally. 'I n go orr
some day with It just like scat! All
good printers die of It sooner or later.'
"Tatters may have tola tne truia
alwut his illness, but I learned later on
that he had eaten his hatful of green
apples at noontime, and you can draw
your own conclusions.
'Frldav was press day, ana tne ia-
nrrivod at the office early. Tat
ters rushed into the front room and,
addressing himself confidentially to the
city editor, said:
" 'Say. want a bully Item or news :
" 'Why, yes, Tatters, of course; what
Is It?
" nnsr flrhf answered Tatters. 'Jim
Beasley's dog and Deacon Ketcham's,
Down by the postoffice. The deacon
didn't want his dog to fight but Jim
tildn't care. Set down and get your
cencil tell you all about it You see,
the dogs met and Jim's dog sort of
walked around the deacon's dog once
or-what's the matter? Ain't you go
ing to use it? r
"The editor said he thought not
" 'What! cried Tatters, in conster
nation, nothing about it after I watch
ed it and got all the facts for you?
" 'No. I don't think we care for It
" 'Now, see here, said Tatters, drop
ping his voice into a still more confi
dential tone, 'act reason'ble, as you say
to me. I saw last night your paper was
going to be dull, that it needed liven
inz up 'taln't all your fault its a
dead week I saw this, I say, and what
do you think I did this morning, Just
to help you out?
"I don't know. Tatters what was
It?
"Tatters came closer, sank his voice
almcst to a whisper and said:
" "I drcve the deacon's dog around to
the place and then I sicked Jim's onto
him. All to give you an ltemr
"The lady was deeply touched by his
devotion, and said as much, but was
forced to add that they could not men
tion a common dog fight in their edition.
"Tatters drew back and stood silently
gazing at her. She expected nothing
less than a final resignation on the
SDOt But his face showed sorrow rath
er than anger. The young lady thought
she detected a tear, but this is not
nrobable. For a half minute he did
not move, then he said:
" 'You couldn't use It in a funny way.
either. I s'DOse? It was funny. The
deacon pulled on his dog's tail and Jim
pulled on his dog's tail, though Jim
didn't do any hard pulling Jim may
have pushed a little when the deacon
wasn't noticing. You wouldn't let me
write It up, either, I s'pose?
"'No, Tatters. . I'd like to, but
can't
"Tatters turned back to the compos
ing-room and not a sound was heard
from him except the steady click of his
type for an hour,
"It was about 11 o'clock when the
editor-in-chief came into the office and
said to the city editor:
" 'I think there is an item of news
for us out at Tarbox's, on the Coopers-
vllle road. I hear that Mr. Tarbox has
been Injured by an unruly cow. It's
only a mile and a half out there can't
you go out on your bicycle and get the
particulars?
'There was a loud shout behind them
and Tatters burst in and ran through
the room, shedding his apron in his
flight and saying: ,
" 'I'll tend to that girls! - I'm the
wild-cow editor of this paper! Back In
ten minutest"
"The editor-in-chief ran to the win
dow and looked down into the street
" 'Goodness, gracious! she cried to
the other. 'There he goes on your bi
cycle, riding like the wind and shout
ing for everybody to get out of the
way of the wild-cow editor. What shall
we do now?
I'll see If I can't catch him on your
bScvcle. And I'll go on and find out
aWrat the accident, anyhow.'
"But though she was a good rider,
she might as well have tried to over
tc "5 an express train as the wild-cow
ectO'-r. Leaning over the handlebar
am- ringing the bell constantly, he
never slackened bis pace for the whole
distance. When she arrived at Tarbox's
she- found that be had got the facts,
gone down the lane and started back
by another road. She saw Mr. Tar
box, gtt his story of the occurrence
and returned herself. Tatters was In
the office, looking Innocent and hard at
work.
"'Don't say anything to him, was
the advice of the others. 'He'll surely
resign If you do.
"She wrote a paragraph about the ac
cident and It was sent in to Tatters
with the rest of the copy. In a few
minutes he came out holding the sheet
of manuscript in his hand.
"'See here, he said; 'are you going
to print such stuff as this about that
cow fight?
" 'What Is it Tatters? asked the edl-tor-ln-chief.
.
" 'Just listen,' answered Tatters.
She says: "Yesterday forenoon Brook
dale's worthy milkman, Mr. Tarbox,
had a narrow escape. He had just sep
arated a. calf from its mother when
the latter became enraged and attack
ed him with her horns. He was badly
shaken up, but escaped serious Injury,
Do you hear that?'
" 'Yes. It seems to me all right Put
it in Just as It Is..
"Tatters uttered a howL 1 n
Then he paused and was silent He
looked at the floor for a full minute,
then he said: 'No, I'll stick to it After
all I've lived through this week it's
too late to go now.' He went back
to the other room and resumed his
work.
"It was after supper that night be
fore they got to press, brl with the
prospect of a good sum for ameliorat
ed heathen th ladies did not complain.
Tatters' friend, Jim Beasley, had been
engaged to come in and turn the crank
of the press, while Tatters himself fed
In the blank sheets and superintended
the work. He seemed remarkably
meek and pleasant, and the ladies all
observed that they had not seen mm
in so amiable a frame of mind during
the whole week. The bicycle ride did
Tatters good,', they remarked. He ap
peared, however, to be In a great hur
ry, and constantly urged Jim to turn
faster and advised the ladies to make
baste with the folding and get the pa
ners ready for the postoffice.
"It was a little before 11 o'clock that
the edition was finished and Tatters
began taking the forms off the press.
The ladles were in the front room.
The editor-in-chief was glancing over
the paper. .
'"I don't see that item about Mr.
Tarbox,' she said.
The city editor opened another copy
and began to run her eye down the
columns. Suddenly she exclaimed:
" 'Why, what's this down in the cor
ner?
"'What is it? cried the others in
chorus. She read aloud:
"Terrible accident Yesterday fore
noon, as old Bill Tarbox, tne miiKman,
went into the barnyard to puc a new
handle on his pump, the old one being
entirely worn out, he was attacked by
wild Texas cow. . The critter had
hydrophobia and was gnashing her
teeth like a hyena and bellowing like
an elephant She was a large cow,
higher than t. horse, and had horns
'most a rod long. 'tarbox fit her with
the handle,- but she tossed him fifty
feet into tne air and then. caught -him
on the ny and n'lstea mm up again.
Chis time he lit In a tree and was res
cued by the hook tnd ladder company.
The cow jumped a sixteen-foot fence
and took to the woods. The mad-cow
editor of the Budget followed her and
last saw her tearing up large hemlock
tree3 with her horns. Tarbox is not
expected to live. Full accoint of an
interesting and important dog fight
next week.'
The ladies ran irto the back room.
hut Tatters had escaped through the
back door.
"I got home th- next day and re
sumed charee of the Br -et But Tat
ters' item was a good thing re char
ity after all, because, on account of it
a great many people bought the paper
who would not otherwise have done
so." New York Tribune.
To hiake a mad dog to order, tie a tin pan
to his tail. A man made mad is one who,
after suffering 10, 16 or 20 years with rheu
matism, finds that by the use of a bottle of
St. Jacobs Oil he is cured. He feels the
waste of his life in pain, with the loss of
time, place and money, and then reflects
that for the expense of 50c. he could have
saved all this and lived free of pain; it is
snongh to make nim man. Most ol our sui
ferings' are intensified by delay in seeking
relief, and there is much worth knowing as
regards the cure of pain that we find out at
last only by the nse of the best cure. It is
worth knowing that for the cure of rhen-
matism -mere is a special virtue in xno
Great Remedy for Pain, St. Jacobs Oil, and
as so much can be saved by its nse, the cost
is really nothing.
A fire was fought in New Jersey re
cently, by pumping from wine vats.
The loss by fire was 92,000, and it toon
(5,000 worth of wine to quench it
FORTUNE SEEKING EMIGRANTS.
A PRESIDENT'S RECEPTION.
An Incident of a Trip to Washington
Tears Agm
An old-timer was in a reminiscent
mood after reading of McKinley's trip
tn Washineton. and among other
things recited the following incident:
"An incident which could possibly oc
cur in no other country on the globe
and which seems to show the fervor
of a most fervid race, and gives an in
sight Into President Andrew Johnson's
character as a man, such as could not
be found in a dozen histories of the
man who held every elective office in
the power of our sovereign people,
from constable of Columbia, Tenn., to
President of the United States.
"It was Just following the impeach
ment trial." said the narrator, "when
Mr. Johnson was making his grand
tour of the country. His party put up
at the Spencer House, which was then
a swell hotel. When the Presidential
party were leaving the Spencer tht
rarriaees were driven from the hotel
entrance across the east side of Broad
wnv. and it chanced that the one in
which Mr. Johnson and Secretary Stan
ton were seated pulled up in front of
genial Ed Qulnton's railroad hotel, then
nt Front and Broadway, but now, like
Door Ed. no more.
"At that time an old Irishman named
Kennedy, nicknamed The Democrat'
was employed as houseman at Qujn
tnn'a nnrt chanced to be standing at
the front door with the youth who was
nt once clerk and bookkeeper of the
Railroad.
" 'Wurra, who's the little fat fellow
they're all shakin' hands wut? asked
old Kennedy of the clerk.
" 'President Andy Johnson,' was the
reply.
" 'Andy Johnson, the rale out an' out
President hlmsel', f rm Washington?
" Tb.e same.'
" 'Do you think I could shake?
" Ton can.
"Taking off his battered old hat and
producing from It a yard-square red
handkerchief, with which he mopped
his face and wiped his hands, he ap
proached the Presidential carriage,
which was an open one. When there
he placed his hat firmly between his
knees, spat on his hands, extended the
right and exclaimed:
" 'Wlsha, how are ye, Andy, my de
cent ould DImocrat?
"The beaming smiles on the face of
the old Irishman were reflected on the
President's as he grasped the honest
hand.
" 'Never better, my old friend. How
are you?
" 'O! begorra, kilt wut pleasure at
seein' you. Whisper (the Presidential
head bent down to the speaker). 'Come
an' have a drink wut me yoarsel', an
the ould fellow Qainton have grate
whisky, an', by gobs, he'll trate us da-
cent'
"It Is needless to Bay the party did
not drink, but as the carriage started
Mr. Johnson, turning to Mr. Stanton,
said: -
" 'Mr. Stanton, that Is the most heart
felt reception I ever met with.' "Cin
cinnati Enquirer.
Mmit a xmor family that seeks the western
nilria in the hone of winning a fortune, is pre
served from that insidious foe of the emigrant
and frontiersman chills ana lever Dy hos
tetter's Stomach Bitters. So effectually does
that incomparable medicinal defense fortify
the system against the combined influence of
malarious atmospnere ana miasma-uumeu
water, that protected by it tne pioneer, me
miner or the tourist provided with it, may
safely encounter the danger.
She Even inside the eternal gate
what; do you suppose is the last com
mandment to be observed? tie onut
thet door. Adams Freeman.
T know that mv lite was saved by Piso's
Cure for Consumption. John A. Miller,
Au Sable, Michigan, April za, vsuo. , -
Water Power In Sweden.
The Swedish government has granted
the necessary concessions to four com
panies formed for the purpose of utiliz
ing for industrial purposes a number of
important waterfalls in the nortn oi
Sweden. The companies in question
are the Angerman River Water-power
Company, with a minimum capital of
2,000,000 kronen ($550,000); the In
dalen Water-power Company, with a
capital of 500,000 kronen ($140,000);
thd Jamtland Water-power company.
with a capital of 400,000 kronen; the
Sodra-Medelpad Water-power Company,
with a capital of 600,000 kronen.
Paralyzed for. Years. ,
A CARPENTER SPENDS MANY
MONTHS IN BED PHYSICIANS
DO HIM LITTLE GOOD.
CAME FBOM A FALL.
Mark Twain's lie tter.
A new" proof of the effectiveness of
the modern postoffice is furnished by
the Philadelphia Record.
A prominent member of the Players'
Club of New York, now in this city, has
received a letter from Mark Twain un
der peculiar circumstances.
The recipient of the letter collabor
ated with a fellow-member upon a let
ter to "Mark," whom they both knew
Intimately. They did not know
"Mark's" address at the time, so they
"addressed the missive, "Mark Twain,
God-Knows-Where." Here Is "Mark's"
reply:
"London, Nov. 24, 1896. Oh, thank
you, dear boys, for remembering me,
and for the love that was back of It
These are heavy days, and all such
helps ease the burden. I glanced at
your envelope by accident and got sev
eral chuckles for reward and chuckles
are worth much In this world.
"And there was a curious thing; that
I should get a letter addressed 'God-Knows-Where'
showed that He did
know where I was, although I was hid
ing from the world, and ii6r' one in
America knows my address, and the
stamped legend, 'Deflcjency of" Ad
dress,' supplied by the "New York post
office, showed that He had given Jt
away. ; '
"In the same mail comes a letter f sMfc;-
friends in New Zealand addressed MYs.
Clemens (care Mark. Twain), -United
State of America,' and again. He gave
us away this time to the deficiency
department of the San Fransisco post- J
ojce. These things snow mat our post
al service has ramifications" Which ram
ify a good deal. ; : MAHK."
Size of the Brain, " .' "
A large brain does not signify intel
lect The brain of an illiterate person
In a low station of life has been fonnd
to outweigh those of the most cele
brated scientists, poets and philoso
phers. " v
It Drew.
Champer Did Youngun's cigar draw,
do you know?- :
Tamper Yes, it drew his face Into a
variety of agonized contortions. Fun.
Speak to any woman about . the
change of pastors at her church, and
she will ask, "Have yon heard whether
or not the new minister ia marrtedr
PARALYSIS
From the Express, Los Angeles, California.
Just think of a busy, hardworking
man paralyzed in the midst of bis ca
reer, and rendered useless.
That was the misfortune that befell
James A. Jones, of 1002 Alpine street,
Los Angeles, CaL, in September, 1891.
Mr. Jones was born in the state where
many of the presidents come from
Ohio, bit spent the greater part of his
life during his younger years in Iowa,
from which place he went to 3olorado,
and in 1882 came to Los Angeles. It
was a small place then, before the
boom came along and pushed us for
ward a century in the road of progress,
and Mr. Jones followed his occupation
of carpenter and builder. While at
work in September, 1891, he received a
fall which jarred him considerably and
he became confined to his bed. Shortly
after he lost the use of the lower part
of his body entirely, and his legs be
came a dead weight. A plaster cast
was put upon him by the doctors and
they worked over -.him and did all
things possible to assist his recovery.
But he remained in the same condition.
In April, 1893, he began to take Dr.
Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People.
The following June he noticed that he
could move his toes, and July 4, 1898,
he got up out of bed and later in the
month . was able to walk without
crutches. Shortly after, still continu
ing the pills he went to work at his
trade at Whittier's, where he sustained
a fall and again injured himself , and.
had to go to bed and the dread paraly
sis came on again. Again the doctors
worked with "him bnt without relief,
and he once more began to take Dr.
Williams' Pink Pills. The doctors had
given him bromides and iodides,- but
without effect. Again the pills drove
the paralysis into the background. He
said "I took them in accordance with
directions, and in connection with the
use of cold sponge baths, found they
were exceedingly beneficial."
Mr. Jones is now able to walk again,
and be feels that the pills are the only
thing that has done him any good. In
this connection he said: "The doctors
who have treated me have done every
thing in their power, but without
effect, and it does seem marvelous that
paralysis should be overcome by these
little pills. But that has been my ex
perience. If anyone doubts it let him
write to me or come and see me and I
will tell them the story."
Dr. Williams' Pink Pills contain, m
a condensed form, all the elements nec
essary to give new life and richness to
the blood and restore shattered nerves.
They are an unfailing specific for such
diseases as locomotor ataxia, partial
paralysis, St Vitus' dance, sciatica,
neural iga, rheumatism, nervous bead
ache, the after effect of la grippe, pal
pitation of the heart, pale and sallow
complexion, all forms of weakness
either in male or female. Pink Pills
are sold by all dealers, or will be sent
postpaid on receipt of price, 50 cents a
box or six boxes for $2.60 (they are
never sold in bulk or by . the 10Q), by
addressing Dr. Williams' Medicine
Company, Schenectady, N. Y.
Bam Horn Sounds a Warning Npte
to the unredeemed.
HERE is no safe
side in any kind of
sin.
The m,a n who
keeps close to God
will always be able
to help others.
When there Is a
coffin in the house
there is a welcome
for the preacher.
The electric light
in the saloon takes
the candle out of
the drunkard's home.
Nothing can make people go' blind
any quicker than filling their eyes with
gold dust
When the right kind of a man is
taken out of the miry clay he knows
enough to stay out
There is always hope for the man
who can be taught what a fool be has
been by one mistake. . "
One finger lost in a buzz-saw will do
for most men, but a fool will fool with
it again and lose two.
One of the highest mountains upon
which we may stand in this life is to be
able to look back upon a life well spent
The devil reaps a sure crop from
among people who expect to become
Christians after they commit one more
sin.
Let the priest and the Levite keep
out of the Jericho road, and fewer un
fortunates will be wounded aud robbed
there. -
No matter how fine his reports may
read, the preacher is a failure whose
ministry fails to move anybody toward
Christ
When about to take his first drink.
the young man should remember that
every drunkard once stood where he
stands.
A wise man can learn something
worth knowing from a fool, but a fool
Is made all the more a fool by going to
college.
Nothing was done by Lot's home to
try to lift Sodom, and so Lot's home
.was brought down to the level of
Sodom.
It was because Paul knew that Chrl.it
could save the. whole world that he was
so anxious for me whole world to
know it
Too many people claim to be willing
to serve the Lord, who want to say
what they shall do and where they
shall work.
The fact that- there is so much stun
that shines like gold makes the story of
disaster one of the saddest chapters
ever written.
The first evidence that a backslider
has lost his communion with. God is
shown in his being ashamed of his rela
tionship to Christ
Found Paine's Celery Compound
the Best of Remedies
For the Nervous Exhaustion Consequent Upon
Her Arduous Work The Remarkable Artiste
Who Stands Pre-Eminently at the Head of Her
Profession.
can be picked np behind a
The news of Modjeska's recovery
from the recent severe sickness that
compelled her to leave the stage will be
a source of congratulation to the whole
world. -
Modjeska, in a letter to Wells, Rich
ardson & Company, says she has found
(what thousands of people in every sta-
edge as
counter.
Paine's celery compound is prepared
in exact accordance with the presarip
tion of Prof. Edward E. Phelps, M. D.,
LL. D. , of Dartmouth college. Its
curative effects have been closely
watched by the ablest physicians of
a host more of prominent men and
women, including no less than five U.
S. congressmen, are among the thou
sands of grateful people who have re
cently sent to the proprietors- of this
wonderful remedy their expression of
its unequaled value men and women
who can well afford, and do command,
the highest medical advice in the
country.
And then also the people n the ordi
nary walks of. life there come thou
sands of honest, straighforward, heart
felt letters, telling how Paine's celery
compound has made them well.
Their testimony simply goes to show
what New England's most vigorous ed
itor so aptly said in a letter telling of
the benefit Paine's celery compound
had been to a member of his family:
"Paine's celery compound is not--a
patent medcine; it is not a sarsaparilla;
it is not a mere tonic; it is not an or
dinary nervine it is asfar bejond them
all as the diamond is superior to cheap
glass."
It makes people well. It is the one
I j Health
secured to every woman t
by the use of
Thousands of afflicted
women have been cured
by its use.
Why not You?
A Purely Vegetable
Preparation
A Remedy with a Remarkable
Record. .
- Will Shoot Sixteen Miles.
The Watervleit arsenal, --near Troy,
has begun work preliminary to the
casting of the largest gun in the Uni
ted States. It is to be of sixteen-inch
bore. The United States has built
two of the larger caliber for coast de
fenses, but they were old-fashioned
smooth-bores, and not to be compared
to the new gun In size, weight or any
thing except caliber. There are two
twenty-inch guns, one' of which is
mounted at Fort Hamilton, and one of
which lies on the ordnance dock at
Governor's Island. These guns were
not startling successes. The one at
Fort Hamilton has been fired a few
times, and each time Its recoil has
raised the very dickens with its car
rlagej - . .
The new gun will be nearly fifty feet
long (to be accurate, 49.67 feet), will
have a range of sixteen miles and be
able to penetrate twenty-seven and one
half Inches of the best steel armor at
a distance of t'wo' miles. The gun will
weigh 125 tons and It will throw a
solid armor-piercing projectile- weigh
ing 2,370 pounds. When the projectile
leaves the muzzle of the gun it will be
traveling at the rate of 2,000 feet a
second, and if a plate of harvey-ized
steel thirty-three inches In thickness
were placed near the muzzle of the gun
It would be penetrated by the flying
mass of the projectile.
This gun, mounted at Fort Wads
worth, would be able t6 hurl a 2,370
pound projectile upon a hostile man-of-war
before she got within seven miles
of Sandy Hook. England has tn her
coast defenses and her nary sixteen
guns of 16-inch caliber, and France has
eight. Italy has twenty-five guns of
lX-inch caliber. The new gun, work
upon Which has now begun at Water
vliet, will, be superior in effectiveness,
however, to the Italian guns, although
they do have one Inch more caliber.
The maximum diameter of the breech
of the neW gun will be sixty-two inch
es. The diameter of the breech open
ing is twenty Inches. To fire this gun
will require a charge of 1,066 pounds
of powder, if the usual brown prismat
ic kind is used. Boston Glabe.
tion of life have so often heartily testi- ' every school, and they are today agreed
Bed) that Paine's celery compound is
the very best of all remedies for nerv
ous exhaustion.
Joseph Haworth rightly calls Mod
jeska "the peerless queen of artists."
Modjeska's health is a matter of
world-wide interest, and her testimo
that it stands alone as the reliable rem
edy for building up a person's health
in the spring.
The most overwhelming testimony-to
the value of Paine's celery compound
that has recently appeared from men
ttliu nuiucu Ul jjnbiuiiai iviubnviviii
WUllU-lflUC auwjvuv, uuu ..v. . ,
nial to the value of the great remedy Hon. George B. Swift, mayor of Chi
which makes people well is of particu- cago; Francis Murphy, the foremost
lar moment in the early spring, when apostle of temperance in the world;
from every quarter reports come of Mrs. Matthew S. Quay, wife of the
men, women and children who are tak- great Republican senator from Pennsyl
ing Pain's celery - compound, and are f vania; Ex-President Cook, of the Na
gaining in nervous vigor, weight and i tional Teachers' Association; Rev.
every other indication of better health, j Charles L Thompson, D. D., the bril
; The thonghful portion of the com-' liant Presbyterian leader of New York
munitv knows the need of purifying city: Elizabeth Cady Stanton; Secre-
the blood and regulatmng the nervous
and alimentary systems as spring comes
on.
There is the danger that -in their
eagerness to take a spring remedy . a
tary Carlisle's private secretary; State
Treasurer Addison B. Colvin of New
York; John Graham, the foremost man
in American athletics; the wife of Rev.
Charles H. Parkhurst, the famous
thoughless person may carry home some preacher and reformer, Mayor Mc
bogus concoction prepared with only Shane, of Montreal, Major General
such a smattering of medical knowl- Birney, Judge. Powers of "Vermont, and
true specific recognized and prescribed
today by eminent practitioners for dis
eases arising from a debilitated nervous
system. Prof. Phelps gave to his pro
fession a positive cure for sleepless
ness, wasting strength, dyspepsia, bil
iousness, liver complaint, neuralgia,
rheumatism, all nervsus diseases and
kidney troubles. For all such com
plaints Paine's celery compound has
succeeded again and again, where ev
erything else ha3 failed.
When Modjeska in a letter published
in Boston said: "I have found Paine's
celery compound the very best of all
remedies for the nervous exhaustion
consequent upon the arduous work of
my profession," she voiced the experi
ence of every tired-out, run-down, ex
hausted woman whoever went to this
greatest of all spring remedies for
relief.
- No one ever yet failed to find strength
and health returning who faithfully
used nature's true remedy Paine's cel
ery compound.
Large bottle or new style ojaller
one at your drug-gistd. Write for Medi
cal Blank free. Warner's Safe Cure
. Com Rochester ,& T. ;
Marble.
Marble Is an almost universal prod
uct, there being no continent and very
few subdivisions which do not- produce
a fair quality. It Is only pure carbon
ate of lime that is to 'say, having the
same composition as the ordinary lime
stone nsed in building and paving,
minus its Impurities. The purest grades
of wnite marble were formerly found
on the Island of Paros, In the Greek
Archipelago, though from many points
in Greece and in Asia Minor was also
procured the material for the Greek
statuary. Italian statuary is at present-mostly
made from the marble of
Carrara, though many points In Italy
furnish stone deemed of equal excel
lence. The colored marbles are found
in almost every State In this Union,
and a very fine quality of white marble
in several of the Eastern and Central
States. '--
The First American Flajr.
A well-known authority on American
curios says: "The first resemblance
to a flag was the work of Benjamin
Franklin and Messrs. Harrison and
Lynch." They were chosen as a com
mittee to create a national flag, and
adopted the King's colors as a union,
reunited with thirteen stripes, alternate
red and' white; showing that, although
the colonies united for defense against
England's tyranny, they still acknowl
edged her sovereignty." On Tuesday,
Jan. 2, 1776, this flag was hoisted In
camp at Cambridge, Mass., now Somer
ville, receiving a salute of thirteen
guns and thirteen cheers. The flr3t
American-made flag was hoisted over
the capitol at Washington Feb. 24,
1866. all previous flags having been
manufactured from English bunting.
-A Happy Hnn'er. .
Sam Cravens, of Spottsvllle, Ky., was
as happy as1 feast could make him on
a recent Saturday night when he got
three coons and four pailf uls of honey
from one tree. . r -
When a husband milks me cow, and
allows his wife to keep the money
made by selling the milk, all the neigh
borhood women see a halo around bis
bead whenever they look at him
". " ' Electric Return Currents.
: The theory, of the earth as a conduc
tor .is discussed in a recent issue of the
American Electrician by Dr. Bell', and
the conclusion arrived at that the con
ductivity of the earth is so meager that,
except in the case of very high voltages
or very minute currents, it ia quite in
significant in practical affairs; in rail
way return circuits the earth return
does much more harm than good; for
power service the earth is useless as a
return, and in telegraphy alone does it
appear likely to serve a permanently
useful purpose. This is in marked com
parison with the idea formerly preva
lent and used in the calculation of
ground return circuits that the conduc
tivity of the earth is infinite.
Brest's Care for Big Hats.
The men theater goers at Brest think
they have solved the high-hat question.
They carry with them big cushions by
which they elevate themselves above
the millinery obstructions in front,
which is all right, provided there are
women with big hats behind them.
A Scotchman once hired himself to a
Chesihre farmer, and one of the famous
cheeses, of the conunty was set before j
him. His master said to him: "Sandy
you take a long time to your breakfast.". .
"Troth, master," replied the Scot, "a
cheese o this size is nae so soon eaten
as ye may think." Household Words.
lOO REWARD 100.
ph.,Miimtf tli iii t)ATer will be ttleased to
learn that there is at least one dreaded disease,
that science has been able to cure in all its
stages, and that is Catarrh. Hall's Catarrh
Cure is the only positive cure knows to the
medical iraternity. Catarrh being a constitu
tional disease, requires a constitutional ..treat
ment. -Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken internally,
acting directly upon the blood and mucous :
surfaces of the system, thereby destroying the
foundation of the disease, and giving the-pa- ;
tient strength by building up the constitution
and assisting nature in doing its work. The
proprietors have so much faith in its curative
powers, that they offer One Hundred Dollars
for any case that it fails to cure. Send for List
of testimonials. ' . , .
Address, F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, O.
Soldby Druggists, 75c. ' ' ; .
Hall's Family Pills are the best. . . i
. The National debt of Spain is nearly ,
$2,000,000,000 and the annual interest
180,000,000. - ' : . . -
EQHE rBODDOTt AND rCBC FOOD.
3U: Eastern Syrup, so-called, usually very
oi n
REASONS FOR USING
Walter Baker & Co.'s
Breakfast Cocoa.
Because it is absolutely pure.
Because it is net mide by the so-called Dutch Process in
which chemicals are used.
Because beans of the finest quality are used.
Because it is made by a method which preserves unimpaired
the exquisite natural flavor and odor of the beans.
Because it is the most economical, costing less than one cent
a cup.
Be sure that you get the genuine article made by WALTER
. . . ... r . a c.hl.hMi I7AA
DAhCK KM. L.U1., UWUKSKf, l.w. .-o.
ARE YOU A
STRONG MAN?-
That is, a perfect man, the fellow who feels
hircself above other men in those vital ele
menis that von must -have to make man
hood complete. Did you ever see him? It
is one of man's faults to be indiscreet, and
a man must be made different from the rest
of us who has not been. As indiscretion is
. common, so is its sequel weakness, waste
of vital force, lost manhood. This is the
train of evils lo'.lowing early mistakes, and
few men are free from them in a more or
less degree. Hence the need of a natural
stimulant is widespread. The only true
remedy for this want of vital force Elec
tricity, as given to. the weakened parts by
Dr. Sanden's Electric Belt
"lam much improved in every respect, and have more confidence' in myself than I
everexnecwd tonavngain. There are some men who are stronger than me yet, but I
f Jel thari have now regained the full Vigor of manhood from your Belt I can leel the
!!ctrity warning up my vital nerves 1 am very grateful to you, Dr. Sanden," write. E.
M. Snodgrass, Albion, Jrtauo, February 22, 1897. . ... .- , .
Dr Sanden has demoted twenty years to- perfecting his Electric Belt, and especially to
to th'am.h"aUon of its curative powers in weakness of men. He ha. been repaid by the
reVeint Srth betters like the above. Much valuable information is given in the
lUUe book "THREE 04A6SE8 OF MEN," wbk is sent free, sealedon application.
SANDEN ELECTRIO BEtT CO,
53 West Washing-ton St., Portland. Or.
' : HTken writing to Advertiser pfease mention this piper.
ry bouy.ls maae irom
lucose. "Tea Garden Drips" is made Jrom-
light colored sod
clucose. "Tea 6
lugar Cane and is strictry pure
bv first-class grocers, in-cans only. Slanutac-
tured by the Pacific Coast Syrup Co AH gen
uine "Tea Garden Drips" have -the manufac
turer's name lithographed on every can.
The Universal Supply Hoftse, Established 1885
5M& SUPPLIES
Groceries, Hardware,
Agricultural Implements,
Harness, Boots, BhaeV Dry-Goods, Music, Etc..
Send e for- Large illustrated Catalogues.
vnVlTturiR TAkEN IN EXCHANGE.'
It is for- sale . siTpktv eo..lFroi'tSt ASan FranescD,Ca.
. Make
cessiul
Chicago.
sell whea
Th rhinocerona is the most formid-".
able and pugnacious ol .all wildTsts.yget
1 iuflpartieulars. Best of reference
10
FOR THB ON-.
bator mad
Frelrht Prepaid
to your nearest
Railroad Station
or Steamer Lanaing. im
finest Incubator catalog
ever issued mailed free if you
write and mention this paper
FZTALUMA TJCTTBATOK CO.. T etalBJA, C1
money by suc
imecnlatioh in
W e .buy and
eat there on mar-
Fortunes have' been-' made- on a small
eiven.- Sev
eral years' experience on- the Chicago Board of
.ah I .11 II IT - nniii
Trftrte Brokers. Offices in Portland, .Oregon,.
.Spokane and Seattle, Wash. ' ' '
i. .1 r. i m tuio ... - . ., .
r . t rr 3- -nlM m Thimn,h knowledge ol tne DUSl-
n "Jr- . 1 S""7y-rtVf...Crt iThicrum Board
C !-n!H. 1UTIMlIlKi a.f.i"" ' .
r "CHILDREN TETHJNC.!lw.j
k uidfor obiidrea teMking. It tovth Ui cMld,otl-
yy-y
RAZORS
m In sizes
FINEST tN-.THlf-WORLD.
Pinck's "C- C." -Razor
4-8. 5-3 and 6-8. -Price. S2.0O.
v .T.h.ti0i) it jirvt. fi&tisfactorv. .
Send for General Catalogues Catalogue of
Sporting Goods or Barber Supplies.
WILL & FIN CK CO.,
SO Xsrkt St. - San Francisco, Cal.
PyThfW hM tm bee? time- when fTow
rfera should guard against failure with more I
c&re. There bu.iwTr been time when i
J Ferry Seed were more essential. Xne are I
.(, always the tr-t. For sale by leading j
r dealers erery where. Inaist on having thorn. ;
(FERRY'S SEED
fa fall of information for -gardeners end
fl planters. T&ero will never be a better tuns I
W than now to send for the 1097 edition. Free J
D. M Ferry A Co., Detroit, Mich.
XI7PTVRK and PILES cared; ho pay un
it til cured; send for book. Drs. Mansfield
& Portebfield, 338 Market St., San Francisco.
trrttnTLTiujfr
ash Brran. TsaiaaeoL
Qcrarh avraa.
tn ttosv Sold by dr-tn.
RT
N.P.N. U. No. 698. &F.N.U-N0.