Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899 | View This Issue
WEEKLY C0BV.4LLIS GAZETTE-
FEBRUARY G, 1880
DRIVING HOME THE COWS.
K ATK OSGOOD.
Out of the clover and llue eyed grass
He turned tnem Into the river lane;
One after another he let them pass.
And fastened the meadow bars again.
Under the willows and over the hill
He patiently iollowed their sober trace;
The merry whistle for once was still.
And something shadowed the sunny face.
Only a boy ! and his father bad said
He never wduld let his youngest go;
Two already were lying dead.
Under the feet of tbe trampling foe.
But after the evening work was doue.
And tbe frogs were loud m tbe meadow
Over hm shoulder he slung his gun,
And stealthily followed the footpath damp.
Across the clover and through the wheat,
With ret olute heart and purpose e rim.
Though cold was the dew on the hurrying
AncUbe blind bats flitting BtaiUed him.
Thrice since then had the lanes been white.
And the orchards sweet with apple bloom;
And now, when the cows came home at night.
The feeble father drove them home.
For news bad come to the lonely frm
That three were lying where two had lain;
And the old man's tremulous, palsied arm
Could never lean on a son's again.
The summer day grew cold and late.
He went Tor the oos when the work was
Bnt down tbe lane, as be opened the gate.
He saw them coming, one by one.
Brlndle, Ebony, Speckle and Bess,
Shaking their horns in the evening wind;
Croppiug the batlercups out of the grass
But who was it following close beliiud 1
Loosely swung in ti e idle air
The tmpty sleeve of army blue;
And wiiiu and pale, (rum tbe crimpy hair,
Looked out a face that the falber knew.
For Souihtrn prisons willEometlmes yawn.
And leld their dead to life aguin;
And the day tl at comes with a cloudy dawn.
In golden glory at last may wane.
The great tears sprung to thetr meeting eyes;
For the beart must speak when tbe lips arc
And under tbe silent evening skies
Together they foiluweo the cattle home.
BY KOSE TEBEY COOKE.
Clara King laid down her Bible on the
stand, and looked out of the window. It
was the 1st day of November, and a dull,
cold rain rilled the streets with mud ; a
few Irish women were on their way to
early mass, and here and there a brown
sparrow hopped about looking for his
food; otherwise there were brick walls.
The outlook was not pleasant. Clara
was a teacher in one of the city schools,
working hard week days, so hard that
occupation kept her from thinking that
her father and mother and sister all lay
in Falmouth graveyard, and what other
relatives she had less near and dear were
scattered far and wide. But this was
Sunday; and as she finished her morning
reading and looked out of the window,
while she waited for the bell to ring for
breakfast; she could not help a dreadful
sense of loneliness settling down on her
heart. It is true there was a Bible full
of comfort before her, but she was tired,
lonely, chilly, and the day was all gloom.
She remembered it was November, the
month of Thanksgiving, and before her
rose like a vision the cosy, warm kitchen
at her old home, her mother making pies
at the cross-legged table, father tilling
the brick oven always heated for that
festival use with long wood shavings;
Matty dressing up the sitting-room with
bitter-sweet and ground pine, while she
herself pared apples, strained squash or
stirred the cranberry sauce on the stove,
and without the sea sparkled and roared
close by, and the low cedars on the
Point rustled and writhed in the keen
wind. Then she had found the old red
house small and inconvenient, and
longed to get away to see more people
and live a less quiet and monotonous
life; now she would have given anything
she could give to be back there with
those three again. She would have no
Thanksgiving this year; she must stay in
her cheap boarding-house, spend the
long day in her chilly room or the dark,
squalid parlor below, and have no ray of
light from psst or future to be faithful
for. Nevertheless, Clara was and meant
to be a Christian woman. The flesh is
weak many a time when the spirit is
willing, and she had not learned the last,
greatest lesson of the Christian life
that we life by daily bread alone; that
even heavenly manna did not provide
for the morrow's food, only for to-day.
She had been reading the first four
Psalms, and out of them but one clause
of a verse remained with her:
"Who shall show us any good?"
She heard this over and over with
curiotis persistency; thinking of what
her life would probably be a long
stretch of hard, lonely work, a homeless
old age, a death among strangers. Bit
ter tears rolled down her pale face as she
entertained this spectral trouble, and
pittied herself so earnestly for that which
as yet was not here. There are thousands
like her, poor child, thousands who bor
row trouble, millions beside who have it
without borrowing! but of these last she
did not think.
Strangely enough, the minister who
preached that day in the church she ha
- bitually attended, took for his text the
Tery line that haunted her. He ac
knowledged that this was a common
query among the unhappy of this world,
brt went on to say:
"If we cannot really find any good
which is a proposition I do not mean to
dispute, since a person in the state of
mind which asks that question is unable
and unwilling, both, to see goodness,
even if it were found for them let us
look for evil.There is enough of that ly
ing about us in every path; we are not
any of us, 'all alone unhappy,' though
we are apt to think so. If there is a soul
in this assembly which has never asked
this question in bitterness of spirit, then,
oh, dear soul! let me beseech you this
very day to begin and see what evil you
can find beside your own, to keep it
company. Go and measure your sorrows
by your neighbor's: put plummet and
line to next door or next room miseries,
and find out where in the scale of human
wretchedness you stand. It . is a real
comfort to the mind of man to define and
establish its position. If you are once
aware of evil, yon can do something to
wards its mitigation, and your own bit
ter experience will help you to sympa
thize with others, it may be to help
them; though that is scarce to be expect
ed from one who disbelieves in good.
This is a good day to begin; it is almost
time for the feast of Thanksgiving, and
you who are not thankful, since the day
gives you no occupation, ought at leftt
to discover others who are also unthank
ful, and tell them how much less their
sorrows are than yours. If you are
Christians, or think you are, go and
preach to them these bad tidings of trib
ulation, and see what audiences. you will
have. Since you do not accept the gos
pel for yourselves, except in name, go
and see how others live without it. Yes;
go fill your souls with husks, and then
come back, if you can not come till then,
to your Father's house, and sit down and
make merry in honor of your own repent
ance." Clara heard no further; this strange
outlook from her own standpoint so
shamed and confronted her that she
went home astonished at herself, yet in a
state of despondence still, for she did not
know what to do, where to find another
discouraged human being. She was a
direct, simrjle-minded creature, in the
best sense of "simple, and so the ser
mon came home to her for herself, not
for he neighbors. She looked about
her at the tea table that evening with a
new insight; was it possible that she was
to find unhappiness right under her
eyes? It might be so, she thought, as
she looked at Miss Allen, an elderly wo
man, who had a room on the fourth
story, just above her own, and went out
dressmaking. Clara had never spoken
to her before, but to-night she happened
to sit next to her, and observed that' her
face was sad as well as grave.
"It has been a disagreeable day, Miss
Allen," she said by way of making con
versation. "It has been a dreadful day," returned
the poor woman with a sigh.
"Did you get out to church? asked
"Oh, no! this weather gives me the
rheumatism so, I can scarcely come to
Here was an opening. One word led
to another, and Clara found that the
poor woman was so disabled by pain
that her work was delayed or suspended,
her daily bread precarious, and besides
being poor she was friendless and no
longer young. Here, indeed, she found
evil, but finding it, forgo; her own mis
eries in consoling another's. It was not
much to bring Miss Allen into her room,
where her one Sunday evening luxury, a
small fire, filled an open grate, and
where an easy rocker rested the half-
crippled limbs of the suffering woman.
She rested here for an hour or two, told
the young girl her sad story of loss, and
pitied Clara's loneliness, and then crept
up to her own bed, cheered and helped.
"It'll seem so good," she said, "to
think you're right under me. I shall
not feel half so lonesome."
"Knock on the floor, then, if you're
ill in the night and want me," Clara an
swered. "I shall be glad to help you if
I can," and she went back to her room,
full of plans to make Miss Allen more
comfortable; she would carry her up one
of the flannel sheets she had brought
from Falmouth, and paste one of her
windows with strips of paper about the
sash edges, it was so near her bed. She
went to rest in quite another temper
from that of the morning, though she
did not know it. The next day had its
own work, the dull routine of school,
the recurrent lessons, the stupid children.
One was absent. "Do any of you know
where Sally Blair is to-day," she asked.
"Please'm, she's down with a broke
leg," said a boy who lived next door to
the Blairs. So, after school, Clara went
down into Elm street and hunted up the
house. It was an old brown tenement,
where four families lived, but inquiries
enough-led her to the back room on the
second story, and opening the door to a
gruff "come in," she tound Sally
stretched on a cot in the corner, her
half-paralyzed father in a chair by the
fire, smoking a clay pipe, her mother at
the wash-tub by the window, "two dirty
babies tumbling on the floor, and the
whole room filled with that indescribable
odor of dirt, grease frying, soapsuds and
tobacco, that is so often the only atmos
phere the poor know. Mrs. Blair wiped
her hands on her apron and set a chair;
the man nodded and laid down his pipe;
the twins looked up in surprise, and
Sally began to cry.
Certainly Clara had found evil here.
Sally was so glad to see her, however,
that she felt it repaid hex coming, and
the twins ceased their noisv ulav while
she sat there talking tenderly and gently
to the child, who had become a burden
instead of a help to that poverty-stricken
family. When she at last left them,
promising to come again, and picked her
way back through the filthy, foggy
streets to her boarding house, just within
the door she met the table girl coming
out of the dining room with some tea
and toast on a waiter. It was for Miss
Allen, and Clara volunteered to take it
up. She found her friend quite helpless,
and very tearfully glad to see a kind
face. Ciara made her more comfortable
in a few minutes, and scarcely observed
that her own tea was cold and her butter
soft because she came late to her supper.
Her Bible that night seemed to tell
another story to her heart; her little room,
full of the home tokens and touches
she had brought with her, seemed no
longer sad; she was filled with the
contrast between its appliances and com
forts, and the four bare walls, the wood
en chairs, the uneasy bed above her, and
the grimy, oppressive poverty of the
Blairs' home. She did not even remem
ber to pour out her own sorrows in her
prayers, she felt such an earnest desire
that these others should be helped and
Now she had two new interests in her
life, and the days seemed too short. She
could make Sally a warm sack out of one
she had to spare, and little woolen dresses
for the twins from a skirt that had out
lived its usefulness as far as she was con
cerned ; also, out of her scant earnings
she could now and then take the child an
orange or a few crackers. There was a
daily visit to pay Miss Allen, a book from
the free library to read to her when the
room was not too cold to sit in, a flower,
perhaps, that some kindly scholar had
brought her to light up the invalid's
room, or a fresh piece of toast which she
persuaded the cook to let her make her
self. So the days went on towards Thanks
giving; other people beside Clara had
heard that sermon which so impressed
her. Mrs. Armstead, whose husband was
the pastor of the church, had taken it to
her own heart; her boy went to school
where Clara was a teacher, and liked Miss
King with a boyish enthusiasm. His
mother, too, had watched her sad, deli
cate face across the church , and now that
Thanksgiving time drew near, she thought
of the girl with kindly provision, and
went one Saturday to see her. Clara was
both pleased and surprised, and showed
all her better self, as we all do to genuine
"Are you going home to Thanksgiv
ing, my dear?" said Mrs. Armstead.
Clara's eyes filled. "I haven't any
home!" she said; and the words had
scarcely escaped when a gentle kiss
touched, her forehead.
"Poor little soul!" said the motherly
visitor. "You are then the very person
I want to see. You must come and take
your Thanksgiving dinner with us;
Johnny thinke Miss King is 'just bully.'
Forgive the slang, dear, it is Johnny's
greatest compliment, and yon ought to
know Mr. Armstead, since you attend his
church. I shall expect you right after
service; don't forget."
And with another kiss she took leave.
A little thing to do, perhaps, but giving
a great pleasure. Clara felt as if the sun
shone into her room all that day, and in
the church porch the next morning, a
bow and smile from the minister's wife
seemed to make the church itself home
like. Thanksgiving day came at last; but be
fore it came Clara had learned its lesson;
in the want and suffering of others she
found fresh knowledge of her own com
forts and blessings; works had vindicated
and rekindled her faith; her prayers
were vitalized by the spirit of Him who
came to seek and save the lost ; and shar
ing His labor she shared also His recom
pense, it was with a heart fully auuneu
to the hour that she sat down in nor seat
to hear Mr. Armstead's sermon, and M
turned to her Bible, to follow his scrip
ture reading, her eye fell again ou that
text of query; and with a full heart aim
read and received it all.
"There be many that say, who will
show us any good? Lord, lift MOB ill'
the light of thy countenance upon Mi
Thou hast put gladness in my heart morn
than in the time that their corn and limn
wine increased . I will both lay me dow H
in peace and sleep, for Thou, Lord, only
makest me to dwell in safety."
Clara's question was answered.
Lincoln at (Gettysburg.
A correspondent of the Springfield
Republican thus describes Lincoln's ap
pearance at the Gettysburg celebration:
The day was beautiful, and Lincoln,
when he approached the battlefield, was
the one on whom all eyes were fastened
He rode on horseback to the spot Whero
the exercises took place.and looked awk
ward in a long, black overcoat which al
most covered the horse's flanks, with a
sorry-looking black silk hat resting on
the back part of his head. His face was
a study, and its worn expression, caused
by the mighty cares of that momentous
period of our history, appealed to all
hearts. No man's deportment that day
gave more more solemn assurance of the
deepest interest in all that took place than
Lincoln's. When he reached the top of
Cemetery hill I noticed he gave a sweep
ing glance over the field, and never shall
I forget its expression; it was a sort of
far-away look," such as it is said one al
ways sees in the faces of those destined
to die soon, and seem to see the spirits 01
those gone before.
The Rev.Dr. Stockton, chaplain of the
Senate, opened the proceedings with
prayer, and was followed by Edward
Everett, the matchless orator, who spoke
for nearly three hours, delivering a most
polished address of over sixteen thou
sand words; the foot soldiers who stood
in line in front of the platform, were
somewhat wearied. After the singing of
a hymn by a choir from Philadelphia,
Lincoln then addressed the assemblage,
dedicating the grounds. When he came
to the words, "but in a stronger sense,
we cannot dedicate, we cannot conse
crate, we cannot hallow this ground." I
have never seen an orator (and I have
heard Webster, Choate, Sumner,
Pierre Soule, Botts, Rantoul and other
great orators) command such an intense
interest. It was one of those supreme
moments, when a person feels he is
taking part in a scene which will live in
history and be referred to by one's
children's children; and so it proved
The country appreciated the greatness
of Lincoln's soul, and his heart-appeal
ing words will live in our history
when some of our orators will be for
A Washington komance.
In one of the pleasant streets in Wash
ington there lives the fashionable dress
maker of the city. She is patronized by
ladies of high social standing who live
here, or who come here for a winter.
This dressmaker belongs to a good Mary
land family, one of her uncles having
been a uovernor of that btate. She was
unfortunate in her marriage, for a
coarser man or harder drinker than was
her husband is seldom seen. I say
"was," for, happily, the poor woman is
finally relieved of her burden, he having
died Irom a sunstroke last summer. This
wretched man has always been a terror
to the patrons of the madam, for it was
well understood that in his drunken
rages he abused his wife shockingly. Xt
seemed to be his delight, when he was
about half drunk, to slip away from his
watchful wife and answer the door-bell
ushering in madam's fashionable cus
tomers. He had another pleasant habit
of going among her new customers, who
had not learned his pleasant ways, and
collecting bills due her, give a receipt.
and go cheerfully away and get most
During Mrs. Hamilton Fish's residence
here she was a constant patron of madam
Those who have seen Mrs. Fish will re
member her dignified manner and refined
face. One day Mrs. Fish went to
madam s to try on a dress which she
was having made. She was taken up
stairs into the pretty dressing-room, and
the madam was arranging the folds of
Mrs. Fish s handsome dress, when most
horrible oaths were heard, and heavy.
drunken steps coming in the direction of
the dressing-room. Mrs. Fish knew the
peculiarities of the man of the house,
was frightened nearly to death. What
could she do? She felt that she should
certainly die if she could not hide some
where from this monster, for it was well
understood that he was always armed
with some instrument of death when in
these drunken fits. Mrs. Fish looked
for a closet; there was none in the room;
but, happily, she discovered the bed, and
with a wild plunge she and her new dress
disappeared under it, only to emerge
from her hiding place when'the combined
efforts of the family had succeeded in
locking up the drunken brute. Boston
No language can express the power
and beauty and heroism and majesty of
a mother's love. It shrinks not where
man cowers, and grows stronger where
man faints, and over the wastes of
worldly fortunes sends the radience of
its quenchless fidelity like a star in
Girls, if you want to encourage young
men, get an album. It's the first thing a
bashful young man grabs when he enters
a strange house where there are girls.
We've seen them look through one until
they know every picture by heart, from
page one to General Grant in the back
part. It's wonderful ' what interest a
bashful man will take in a girl's grand
mother and pug-nosed uncle at the -first
visit, but it's always so. Get 'em girls.
It's the best thing' in the world to oc
cupy a fellow's hands, and it's a sure
cure for bashfulness.
Sam Houston's Dnel.
Simpson county, though peaceful
enough in these latter days, was in its
earlier history the scene of encounters
that have passed into history. Within
its borders, or adjacent thereto, the hot
blooded Tennesseans were wont to settle
their affairs of honor, and the crack of
the duellists' pistol not un frequently re
sounded in the quiet forests. Near
Adairville, in the edgo of Logan county ,
Uouoral Jackson fought Dickinson lor
tho honor of the woman be lovod, and
stood like a statue after struck by his
antagonist's shot. It wa on this oc
casion that he provtid his iron will by
tolling ids iiucond that "hud lie been
shot through the In m l , lie would have
lived long mioituh to kill his antago
nist." Hix miles south of Fmnkllii, on the
farm of H. J, Dttnuau, '.'.no yards from
Hie 'IVnntiNMBM linn, wan fought diwl
whleh ei'unteit wldf-i trend tmiiltmiitiiit
t.iirouuhoiit Ihn Union, owing to the
repiilathiu of Mn tirluclpitls. In IH2
(ieunml Hum HoiinIou wiw a nmuilier of
CnituiuHH from tho Nash villi district in
TuimsP, anil nniidlug liomn for distri
bution ninuiiK IiIm ouHtitiunts it iiutnhftr
if iiiililln doKiiuiKutM, hit clnltiind that
IHH't'y, the iMmlniasl.nl' itl. Nashville, sup
pi'oHNed and failed to dellvnr them, and
if.tioiiiiiuiii hm a suoiiikIiuI. r.,,
this Cany smit him it nhallingn by
UfBKU Whltu, Houston rofiiMiid to ro
ceivo tho immHiigit, un ho nt.ni.nl, "from
such a uontomptiblu Mouree," throwing
it on the ground and stamping on it
Gonnrul While waid hu was not sur
prised, as no ono expected Houston
light. To thin Houston retorted, "Do
you try me." Of course a challengo
followed from White, which Houston
promptly accepted. The terms and
conditions were: "Fifteen feet dis
tance; holster pistols; time, sunrise.'
The place chosen, as stated, was in
Simpson county. On the 23d day of
September, 182C, the parties met at
the designated point with their seconds.
The fact that a duel was to be fought
had gone abroad, and a number of
persons had secreted themselves near
the field to witness the affair, a fact
unknown to either principals or sec
onds. After the first shots had been
exchanged and White had fallen to
the ground, the people rushed to the
spot. Houston seeing them and fearing
an arrest, started toward the State line
with a view of crossing and escaping.
General White called to him, "Gen
eral you have killed me." Houston
then faced the crowd with pistol still
hand and inquired if there were any
officers of the law among them, and
being answered in the negative, he ad
vanced to the side of his late antago
nist, and kneeling by him, took his
hand, saying, "I am sorry for you, but
you know that it was forced upon me."
General White replied, "I know it and
forgive you." White had been shot
through just above the hips, and the
surgeons to clanse the wound of blood
took one of their old-fashioned silk neck
erchiefs through the wound. General
White recovered from his fearful
wound, as much to the joy of Houston as
During the week preceding the duel
General Houston remained at the home
of San ford Duncan, near the field,
practicing meanwhile with pistols. At
this temporary home were two belliger
ent dogs, named for their pugnacious
dispositions, Andrew Jackson and
Thomas H. Benton. These were con
tinually fighting, Houston's political
sentiments leading him to espouse the
cause of the Jackson pup.who very much
1 to his delight was a constant winner in
the frays. The hour for rising and pre
paring for the duel on the arrival of the
day was 3:40 a. m. Just before that hour
General Jackson barked beneath the
window of his admirer's room, awaken
ing him. Houston arose without dis
turbing his attending friends, and began
the task of moulding bullets with which
to fight General White. As the farst bui
let fell from the mould a game cock,
which he admired scarcely less than he
did the dog, crowed a loud, clear note.
Houston, with that element of super
stition in nearly every mind, accepted
the early greetings of his friends as
happy ones, and marking the bullet on
one side for the dog andfthe other for the
chicken made up his mind that his pis
tol should be loaded with it, and that he
would fire first that particular ball at
General White. He afterward said that
"he was not superstitious, but these two
circumstances made him teel assured ot
success," thus disproying his own words
The bullet was used, and White fell at
the first fire, as stated. After the duel
Houston selected as a coat-of -arms "a
chicken-cock and a dog," and many were
the comments made by those unfamiliar
with the facts in after years, when a
President of Texas and a Senator in Con
gress, he sported so strange a crest.
These facts are authentic, having been
related by Ueneral Houston to San
ford Duncan Jr., late of Louisville,
while the two were en route to Washing
ton city during Houston's term as Sena
tor. Bowling Green Intelligencer.
How a Duchess Should Receive Her
Guests. Rules for receiving your
guests, it you are a Duchess: lour ser
vants in livery will introduce your
guests from the ante-thamber, calling
out their names, and they on entering
will make you bows and grimaces by the
dozen. You also must go through "your
exercise. If the guest is a duke, stand
straight up; and if a marquis, half way
up; if a count, a little way up; if a baron,
just bend a little the hinges of your
knees; and as for a mere gentleman, any
common week-day inclination will do.
Your servants, too, must be drilled.
Monsieur le Prince Gortchakoff! This
must be pronounced in a loud and dis
tinct voice, the doors of the saloon must
be banged open, and the buzz of the
saloon must cease for a while. The de
scending scale of dignity must be
observed, down through the subordinate
visitors, until you hear in a soft soprano,
on G flat, just audible, Monsieur
Guibollard. Then you will see squeez
ing through, the door a little ajar, a
humble individual holding on to his
claque hat by the tips of his fingers,
while his knees encourage each" other by
sympathetic and involuntary meetings.
Early in the present century, Samson
Levy was a prominent member of the
Philadelphia bar. A client called on him
one day and stated his case with con
siderable prolixity, concluding with the
question: "Now, Mr. 'Levy, what do
you think 1 had better do?" "If I were
you, was his reply, "1 would go home
and put a jglO-note in my pocket-booK,
and go to some lawyer of my acquain
tance and ask his advice about the mat
ter." The client's poket-book immediately
"Put not your trnst in kings." Three
aces and a lack will skin them every
To tell a falsehood is like the cut of a
sabre, for, though the wound may heel,
the scar will remain, Saadi.
A young man who keeps a collection
looks of hair of his lady friends, calls
them his hair breadth escapes.
Humilitv is the (iliriHtiiin's rrrniitasr,
honor; and the higher men climb, the
farther thov are from heaven. Bur-
He who hus no opinion of his own,
but dopends upon the opinion and
taste of othors is a slave. F. G. Klop
stock. if your wife objects to kissing you be
cause you smoke, simply remark that
you know some girl who will. That
There is always hope in a man that
actually and earnestly works. In idle
nnss alone there is perpetual despair.
Hope is Jiko tho wing of an angel,
soaring up to heaven and bearing our
prayers to tlm throne of God. -f Jeremy
no who is content with what he lias
done will never become famous for what
ho will do. He has lain down to die.
Everything has recently advanced in
prion except liberty, which remains at
otornul vigilance with liberal redaction
to the trade.
Mix together all the food on an Ameri
can dinner table, add vinegar and horse
radish, stir with an old iron spoon, and
the result would be one favorite dish for
Mon can live for years and years with
only one lung, but the chap who expects
to move the previous question at a ward
caucus should save both his lungs and
his legs, too.
A Nebraska druggist got a boy to take
big smh ol hartshorn as a joke; boy
kicked over a kerosene lamp: oil took
fire; loss on store, $1300. The druggist
is now driving team.
'Juge not lest ye be juged," was a
copy recently "set" by a teacher in one
of the public schools of Chicago. Doubt
less that teacher considers spelling one
ol the ornamental branches.
"Twenty years ago," said a Georgia
philosopher, "niggers was wuf a thou
sand dollars a piece. Now dey wonld be
deah at two dollars a dozen. It's 'ston
ishin' how de race am runnin down."
Josh Billings says he has no objeck
shun to a man parting his hair in the
middle; I alwuz insist on him finishing
up the job by wearing. a short gown and
Business man "You vagabond! You
send word in that you want to see me on
business, and when I ask what your
business is you beg!" Vagabond
"But you forgot, sir, begging is my
"Never leave what you undertake un
til you can reach your arms around it
and clinch your hands on the other
side," says a recently published book
for young men. Very good advice; but
what if she screams?
It was a brace of communists who met
in a secluded holstery near Tompkins
Square. "Lugsy watch you've got on,"
hsaidone; "what's she worth?" "Don't
know, the other horny-handed replied,
"the jeweler was asleep."
"Hi, cabby, have you a hot brick in
your hack?" "Yes, boss." (Enter fare.)
"I say, cabby, this hack is as cold as
Greenland I thought you said you had
some hot bricks." "So I have they're
under my feet out here. G'lang!"
It is only by labor that thought can be
made healthy, and only by thought that
labor can be made happy, and the two
cannot be separated with impunity.
"Been havinar vour boots half -soled?"
asked Tom. "Well, yes," said Ben, who
was looking a little seedy; "but they're
nothalf s'old as my hat." And it was 3
o'clock the next afternoon before Tom
understood just what he meant by it.
We ought always to deal justly, not
only with those who are just to us, but
likewise with those who endeavor to in
jure us; and this, too, for fear lest, by
rendering them evil for evil, we should
fall into the same vice. Hierocles.
Josh Billings says: "I will state, for
the information of those who haven't had
a chance to lay in sekrit wisdom az I
have, that one single hornet who feels
well can break up a whole camp-meet
The are many moments of sadness in
an editor's life, but there are occasional
gleams of joy, one of which is when a
pile-driver falls on the head of a man
who is in the habit of looking over copy
in the editor s desk.
There is a touching beauty in the pale
white rose that grows by the dusty way
side, half choked with thistle down; but
it is all lost upon the man who breaks
both his back suspender buttons when he
stoops to pluck it.
An innocent exchange hasa disserta
tion on "Why the hair comes out."
After the editor gets married he will
write wholly on other subjects, deeming
that too simple.
The butterfly, the butterfly,
How doth the butterfly? and why?
Because the hired girl doth make
The round, flat, toothsome buckwheat
Aye, this is why doth butterfly.
"You have a pleasant home and a
bright fireside with happy children sit
ting around it, haven't you?" said the
Judge. "Yes, sir," said Mr. Thompson,
who thought he was away out of the
difficulty. "Well," said the Judge, "if
the happy children sit around the cheer
ful fireside until you return, they will
be there just forty-three days, as I shall
have to send you up for that time."
Irresistible inducements to purchasers
are offered by the ever popular proprie
tors of the widely known Farmers' and
Mechanics' Store. An immense stock of
spring goods has been received, and the
prices have been reduced so materially
that nothing but bargains can be ob
tained. The stock is comprehensive and
of the very best quality, and must be
A voung man who had just returned
f ion a long journey, clasping his adored
one in a lovely embrace in a dimly
lighted parlor, was seized with a great
terror that for an instant paralyzed his
energies. "Oh, my darling," said he,
wildly, "why didn't you write toe of
this? What is it spinal disease? or
have you dislocated some of your ribs,
that you are obliged to wear this great
leather bandage?" "Oh, love," she
gently murmured, "this is only my new
belt; I would have got a broader one, but
it would not go under my arms.
French Home Life.
Every morning the housekeeper ,or the
bonne, goes to the stores or to the mar
ket to buy what is strictly needed for
the day, and no more. You will see, for
instance, walking along with her small
basket on her arm, carrying ten cents
worth of charcoal and two cents' worth
of kindling-wood and do it with as much
unconcern and with evidently as much
relish as if it were a basket full of
luscious fruit or fragrant flowers. An
other will be on her way to buy pro
visions for the second breakfast. If, for
instance, there are lr in the family ,she
will stop at the fruitier to buy a little
bunch of nice fresh radishes, with a
qnarter of a pound of good butter, to be
set on the table as horn (tceuvre, then she
vii I trot along to the batcher's looking
so nice, with her pretty white cap en
casing her black crispy hair, and her
bright smiling face shining under it; she
is often heard hamming a well known
air as she goes along, and does not think
it unladylike a bit to poke np her
tnrned-up nose, even a little higher than
is becoming, at something she sees and
does not like; on, I say, she trots to the
butcher's to get four chops, one apiece,
at a price of about fifteen cents a chop;
then a pound of potatoes, to cat fine and
. . - am i . , . , ,
iry crisp ana puny, as oniy me r rencn
know how to do; on she will wend her
way to the cheese store, and among the
hundred kinds for sale there she will
select ten cents' worth of the kinds she
wants; onward she trots to the fruit
store, and there she daintily picks two
nice fresh bunches of grapes or two
large, luscious pears, to be divided
among four for dessert; then passing by,
she drops in at the grocer's, and asks for
a qnarter of a pound of ground coffee, for
the indispensible little cup of black
coffee to be sipped at leisure while the
merry talk goes round, making both help
to digest the hnmble, bat still refined
dejeuner. So you see, with what yon
would call a meagre meal, they have al
most a feast, because the meat has been
tastefully selected and tastefully cooked;
because the potatoes have been goldenly
and invitingly fried; because it has all
been prepared as if it was meant not only
to be eaten but to be good; because it
was very daintily put on the table; be
eause each dish was eaten separately,
with a warm, clean plate for each, and
because the French enjoy their food, and
eat with the most inviting appetite. You
will make that nice little family cry out
in holy horror if you only imagine that
they might sit down to this breakfast
without one or two bottles of wine on the
table. They will, of course, put water
in their wine while partaking of the gros
plats, but at dessert, just before the
coffee they will swallow a wine glass of
it pure, to tone down the meal and hasten
digestion. Yes, indeed, French people,
high and low, know how to live, and I
believe God intended that it should be
so; use all with moderation, but use as if
you liked what God gives you.
We started for Pine Bidge (or Bed
Cloud) agency. Five of our party were
missionaries. The similarity of the
country now traversed to that passed
over between Randall and Rosebud gave
much monotony to this part of our trip.
It was broken, however, by two incidents
On the second day, having traveled far
with no signs of water, we suddenly dis
covered a large lake. All of us were
thirsty, tired and dusty. Our facilities
for bathing during the journey had been
inconsiderable, and as this expanse of
water broke upon our view one ex
claimed, "there is a sight for all eyes.'
Two horsemen dashed ahead to find t
spot for camping. They had scarcely
reached the shore, however, when both
horses stepped into quicksand. One
sank almost to his belly. His rider
jumped from his back and providentially
alighted on a firm spot. But it was only
by the greatest exertion of man and
horse that they got out. The other horse
only had two feet in and was therefore
able to extricate himself. Dakota seems
to abound in quicksands. Every marsh
the shores of every lake and river, every
creek bottom, though it be dry of water
must be trodden with the utmost
caution. The other day one of the
young Indians from St. Paul's boarding
school at Yankton agency, who had gone
out to shoot ducks, came back with
marks of mud on his clothes almost np
to his shoulders. He had sunk that far
in a quicksand. How he ever got out
was a wonder.
One of the party managed with a little
care to reach the edge of the lake, and
walking cautiously over the yielding
alkali mud, found to his surprise that
the lake bottom was waterless. The soil
still moist in places, had been whitened
by the sun till it gave exactly the ap
pearance ol wind-swept water, so per
fect was the deception that when, a little
further on, we passed another such
place, I rode nearer, wondering if this
could be a lake after all.
We pushed on for several hours, and
late in the afternoon we reached welcome
water; we drank heartily of it and had
supper; but it was almost dark when the
wagon containing baggage, tents, etc
drove in. N. Y. Evening Post.
Observing little brother's remark be
fore a room full of company: "I know
what made that red mark on Mary's
nose; it was the rim of John Parker's
hat." And there are girls who believe
that little brothers never go to heaven
She hung upon his arm so lovingly
he was her heaven and beamed up in
his face with all the radience of those
pale blue eyes. Her heart would speak,
and yet the tongue refused its utterance
But love and admiration broke the spell,
and from the rapture of her soul she
breathed forth, "Your mustache is be
ginning to grow, Georgie."
The following conversation recently
occurred m a licston book-store between
a well-known poet and one of the firm
Poet "People can have no comprehen
sion of the patience and labor required
to compose an epic poem." Bookseller
'And the poets can have no compre
hension of the patience and labor to read
A foolish man married a dumb woman
because she could never scold him.
Imagine his anguish when she writes out
her curtain lectures on a slate, and when
he comes home at 1 a. m. makes him
read them aloud to her, that she may
know he does read and understand
In a certain town in Yolo county is a
mercantile house owned by Jonas Hugg,
and he employs a very amiable yonng
clerk, by name Sylvester Smile. They
are both represented as amiable gentle
men, and it is said that young ladies take
a peculiar delight in dropping into the
store to see the clerk Smile and Hugg
SAFE LOCK COMPANY,
CAPITA I. ... l,OOO,O0O.
tieneral Offices and Manufactory
No. 210 Sansome St., S. F-
Agency for Oregon and Washington Territory,
with IIAWLEY, DODD 4 CO., Portland.
HALL'S PATENT CONCRETE
Have been tested by tbe most disastrous confla
grations in the country.
They are thoroughly fire-proof.
They aro free from dampness.
Their superiority is beyond question.
Although about 150,000 of these safes are now
in use, ana hundreds have been tested by some
of the most disastrous conflagrations in the
country, there is not a single instance ou record
wherein one of them ever failed to preserve its
HALL'S PATENT DOVETAILED
TI-N0N AND GROOVE
Have never been broken ojeu and robbed by
burglars or robbers.
Hall's burglar work is protected by letters
patent, and his work cancot be equaled lawfully.
Hi patent bolt is superior to any in use.
His patent lucks cannot be picked by the most
skillful experts or burglars.
By one of the greatest improvements known,
tbe Gross Automatic Movement, our locks are
oirtei withont any arbor or spindle passing
through the door and into tbe lock.
Our locks cannot be opened or picked by bur
glars or experts, (as in case of other locks), and wo
will put from 1,000 $10,000 behind them any
time against an equal amount.
The most skilled workmen only are employed.
Their work cannot be excelled.
Hall's Safes and Locks can be relied on at all
Tliey are carefully and thorughly constructed.
THET ABE HIE P. EM SAFE
Hade in America, or any other country.
One Thousand rolla.i"
To any person who cjn prove that oneWOlaU'
pateni Durgiar-juuoi bhkt uao -ci uccu
broken open and robbed by
burglars up to the
(. resent time.
B. Ft. WILLIAMS,
Agent for Oregon and W. T.
Office wlih Hawley, Uodd t o..
Emmett F. Wbenn.
DRAY AGE !
Hamlin & Wrenn. Propr's.
HAVING JUST RETURNED F ROM
Salem with a new truck, and having
leased the barn formerly occupied, by James Eg
lin, we are now prepared to do all kinds of
DRAYINC AD HAULING.
either in the city or country, at the lowest living
rates. Can be found at the old truck stand. A
share of the public patronage respectfully solic
ited Corvallis, Dec. 27. 1878. 15:52tf
Gazette Job Printing House
IS NOW PREPARED TO DO
Plain and Ornamental Printing,
As neat and Cheap as it can be done by any
Office on the Coast.
Note heads ,
Pi off ram in ea.
VI I uk Cards,
Mil all PoSJs .tl.
Orders by mail promptly filled. Esti
Cor. Second and Monroe Sts.,
Keeps constantly on band all kinds of
COFFINS AND CASKETS.
Work done to order on short notice, and
at reasonable rates.
Corvallis. Jan. 1. 1877. U:ltf
ROBERT N. BAKER.
"FORMERLY OF ALBANY, WHERE HE
has eiven his patrons . perfect satisfaction.
has determined to locate in Corvallis, where he
hopes to be favored with a share of the public
patronage. All work warranted, when made
under his supervision. Repairing and cleaning
proraptlv attended to.
i.orvauis. juii. 1,1000. i.j:oii.
FfiAftKLW CAUTHOgff, M.
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,
Special attention given to surgery and diseases
of the Eye. Can be found at his office, in rear of
Graham, Hamilton & Co.'s Drug Store, up stairs,
di j or night.
June -5, ijvih.