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About The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18?? | View Entire Issue (Nov. 12, 1880)
In the town ot Lynn nearly every man
Is a nhoemaker. At any rate I will say.
in almost :ill tlie little hoiies somebody
at work either Mailing shoe, hammering
soles, making heels or stitching uppers."
And among them, many years ago, none
could have been found more busy and
more contentel than a quiet, red haired
Scotchman, called Sandy Mcl'hersor..
lie lived alone, being either a bachelor, or
a widower probably the first in a little
two roomed house on wheels, and when
ever tlieownrr of the ground on which he
established bis residence a-ked awkward
questions, or demanded rent, h; simply
wheeled his mansion away. Tims he
fpent next to nothing, and though he did
not make much money, be saved the best
part ot what be made.
He had lived several yenrsMn his quiet
wiywhen ne; dy thf-ia pirii tlie
village a tall,"' serious " gentleinVur" In" a
black coat and inquiring diligently for Mr.
Alexander McPbcrson. lie s-oon discover
ed theu'yecl of his search hi simple Sandy
lePher-on. hammering away at his bench,
jind I bus addressed him :
'Sir, I u one ot the firm of Dunn &
Ifc-rry. lawyer. ai:d I hring vtu the sad
new that your unci'-. Mr. O-inakl 11c
Phersou, has depai t.tl this life."
Sail" I y laid Jinvsi his lap-stone, shook his
tiead and gravely remarked :
"I never thought Uncle Donald was a
ioi.g-lived'iiian." And tbiuking his duty
done, sat to work agai". But once more
the lawyer spoke :
"And it U Uo my pleasant duty. Mr.
Mcl'hersoii. to inform yon that your
ITucle Donald has left yon a legacy amount
ing to five thousand dollars, winch after
tlie necessity foi malkies, onr firm will
nke pleasure i:i paying into yt.ur hnnus."
Sandy put d w.i his win k again, Inoktd
at the lawyer, and alter a pause remarked :
" -U was weel mant of Uncle Donald,
and you mean Wcel to me in telling me
if it. but it will be aye dreadful trouble
spending sic a sum."
The lawyer laughed ; be thought bis
cUfiit intended a joke, but Sandy wa in
ober earnest. Having receivnl the
necessary instructions he shut up bis
house, fastened the dcois and shutter
well, stored it with an old farmer just out
of town and went ro get his money. For
three years no one in Lynn saw or heard
anything of him, but at the end ot t hat
lime Mr. Oage.tbe tanner with whom Sandy
bad left his house, was .surprised by bis
reappearance in a good suit of clothes,
with a very red face and a very norlly per
son, to claim his bouse onee mine.
'Im glad to get back." lie said. -I
liave luid work to spend my five thousand
tloil ir. i.n I I could not do it without eat
ing and drinking more than was aye glide
or me , but I've lived through it, and
innyhe I'm no the worse for a bit o'iioli
lay." And once more the door ot the little
wheeled house stood open, and Sandy Mc
I'herson worked beside it from dawn until
l'wo years passed. At the end of that
time the village gossips once more saw
the tall, square form of the member of
Dunn t Derry iu the streets of the little
town. This time he made no inquiries,
but walked to the door of SiiUy's In. use
Come in." cried the shoemaker, and
In walked the lawyer.
Oh ? and it is you. Mr. Dunn V cried
Sandy. Sit ye doon, man ; and what new
news have ye for me ?"
Much th same as before, Mr, Mcl'her
KMi,'" replied the lawyer. Your Uncle
Dmiuiir lias left this world for a better."
Aye, 1 saw tlie old man was tailing."
His prosperity,'" eontinued tlie law
yer, "has beeu equally divided amongst
bis lour lie phew 8 ; and your share, my
dear sir, 1 aui hippy to tell yon, amounts
to two thousand pound, or if on like the
sound better ten t Imi-.ii.I iloiiar."
. TliaV twice lis much as Uncle Donald
Jcftuic." ?ifehd Sandy. "Twill lie bard
work spend'.iig it. The five hou:ud
nearly killed me. but a'ls as Ooil i'.l, if
it's come oil Hie. 111 be with you lo
morrew morning, sit. Sooner U-giin,
Again the little hou" wa stored away
tibiitU tlie bun ot Mr. Gage's farm ; but
this time, tue farmer having died In
f-iandy "a absence, the bargain was made
with the Widow Gage, a come'y woman
of lorty, who gave Sandy some advice o:i
tlie subject of bis fortune, which lie re
ceived iu silence. Away he went, and for
thiee years Lynn saw biiu no more ; but
when another year was on irs way the
wonder-Stricken inhabitants saw Sandy
jtgititi at bi Ijeiicb. Fait S.indy was an
altered mm.. He had grown tat, bis eyes
were red and watery, bis mise the shape
of an onion, he liad tlie symptoms of the
gone and n lie worked he iii-ike his plaint
to any one who would listen to him.
"Ah ! you laugh none ol you I aye
tried It ; spending ten ibou- .ik! Iu three
year is hard work f.-r any nam And I
made a mistake. I laj;iin wi' whisky.
Wlieii I rook to port wiiif I g..t on taster.
It fine wine the p..rt wiIM'. pu' ape, but
you can hae too much of It. Iu put me
almost past the wot k." ' .
Ilowever, five years of oatmeal
ridge, bacon and weak' fen;" -.with
work, reduced S'liidr t 'i f.,rnn r
tlliimt of ?. in and lione. til ,. nlil
gootl, hi eye wn -lear. null hj- m niore
eontiiteil than ev-r, : oue clay through
5 st.-ee:. (jf Lynn walked once more the
tall, grave, seiiou gentlenran, from the
firm ot Dunn & Derry.
This time Lynn was actually excited,
and as the lawyer entered the door Sandy
turned upon him a face longer, more
solemn than lie had eyer shown before
and cried out :
"Mr. Dunn again ! Weel, out with It
men ! Bail news, I suppose ?"
"Yes sir," replied the lawyer. "Your
Aunt Jean is dead. She departed this
life very suddenly. It was a shock to all
the family "
"Aye ; I thought Aunt Jean would live
to lie a hundred," said Sandy.
"So Mie did ; but she made her will
notwithstanding, and as you were her
favorite nephtw, she has left every farth
ing to yon. Sir, I must congratulate
Don't do that, man," said Sandy,
"You mean weel, but it'. adding insult
j Injury. Lot t:ie- be;:r fhufworst. She
mut have been an unco rich woman, my
'You are now possessed of more than
fifty thousand dollars." rcplb-d the lawyer.
"Indeed, coolly as you take it. I should
like to stand in your shots, Mr. Mcl'her-
"Ay. weel," repliiil Sand', "you may
call it cool, but I feel pretty warm. How
is a man ever to spend filly thousand
The lawyer departed laughing. In an
hour Sandy stood before old Mrs. Gage's
'I'm in trouble again. Mrs. Gage,"
said lie. "Aunt Jean is dead. Oh, no.
'tisn't that ; we must all die some day.
but she's left me her money, anil I hare
feefty thousand dollars to spend."
I wish I had." Paid the farmer'
widow, who-e hair wa gradually grow
ing gray under the weight ot a titty tho'i
sand dollar mortgage. "It's flying iu the
face of Providence to talk that way of a
"lint how is. a man to spend it f " con
tinued Sandy. "I couldn't get through
the ten thousand wi'out ma kin' a beast ot
myself am1 feefty thousand at my age will
be the end of me. What is a single man
like me to do i it all ?"
"Oh, there are plenty of ways, Mr. Me
Pberson," said the fanner's widow. You
could be benevolent.'
"I'll never give go.i money to hejrgar1;
let them work for their bread," said
"Ah ! you ilinra know. Mr. Gge. A
man can eat but five mea! the day if he
ltes hi be-t. ami to be aye drinking is all
that is lelt."
Dear, dear! what a pity it is you
haven't a good, sensible wife to n-e your
nio u y." said Mrs. Gage. "You'd find
no trouble then."
'But, you see I'm a bachelor," said
You needn't remain one," replied Mrs.
"And who would I marry ?" asked
It's not for me to say,"' replied Mrs.
Gage. Some sensible, middle-aged wo
men, Mr. Mcl'hersoii."
"I wonder would you have me ?" fished!
Sandy. "You "re a very sensible woman.
Mrs. Gage, it strikes me I couldn't do
better ; but I hope you'll drink your
Mrs. Gage held ! er i eace, anil Lynn
was surprised by a wielding the nest
week. The inortgige a3 paid olF; the
lovs sent to college " the farm prospered.
Mrs. McPhersnii and Sandy appeared
each Sunday at church hi siik ami broad
cloth. .Hid Sandy still made dines in the
!i!tle hoiie. now wheeled Tni:ient"y to
the kitchen door, up to the la-t accounts
received of hi in. A fr hi money, he
seems to forget that a married iii-m is any
more comfortable than a bachelor, and
adds : ! didn't know it until the wife
told me. " which is reg;n d.-d a one of
Mr. .McPherson's jokes, thovgli it is
strict lv true.
A lateby Iie.
IVliat tlie deuce ails me ? Where am I.
anyhow ? Wherever 1 am. snrins ;ind
mattresses must lie scarce, fori know-1
am laid out on some mighty hard sub
stance. ' Wonder if I'm fiend I leel
mighty like it. Maybe I am stretched
Out ready for the f'oetors to carve me.
These were H13' first thoughts, very
cheering, indeed, as I became conscious.
I could neither speak, nor move ; but I
srfon learned th it I could hear.
A door opened, footsteps approached.
I felt a cloth removed from my lace, and
a voice, which I recognized as thai of my
Intended father-iu-l i w. said :
'He hasn't, changed much." and his
companion, whose voice I recognized as
Sowerhy's, the undertaker, said lightly :
. There's Is just where yon are mistaken.
Mr. Muffins ; he looks a cussed sight lietter
dead than alive, but how does Priscilla
feel about it ? Take on much, ha ?"
"Oil ! no just enough to appear well."
said the lather of my affianced, with a
chuckle Site never cared much , for
Smith ; 'twas his stamps that she fancied.
My Piiscilla Is a practical girl and went
in for bis dimes, Ids carriage and greys,
although at the same time I must own he
was spooney on bald-pated Howard, the
artist, but he's poor as Job's turkey, as
the saying is."
"Well, sin can have him now for all
t hi poor cns, can't she ? said Sowerby
bewting a tattoo with hia digits on my
'I presume so, but she will wait till the
year U up, for fear of gossip, yoq know."
"But who gets his money, seeing the
poor cuss has no relations ?" queried the
"Ob ! that's all right. You see, my
Priscilla is a sensible girl. Before she
promised to marry him she had him make
his will in her favor. Poor Smith was
rather sappy, yon know ; bad nothing
against him, bowe.ver. although he was
deuced ly homely, and such a barndoor ol
a mouth, always open."
"Well." said the cheerful voice of the
undertaker, "his month is shut tight en
ough now. I reckon ; he'll never open it
in tins world again. I reckon his immor
tal part is now with the nngels."
And my mortal part is also with the
angels, thought I a fine pair of angels !
I felt indignant at their clumsy ridicule
I tried to shut my fit, but the devil a shut
was to it. I te,j!d do nothing hut listen.
He then began to measure me for my
coilln I had heard that undertakers
whistled joyfully when they got a measure.
I believed it to he only a joke on the craft 5
hut Sowerby actually struck up the air
"Pull Down the Blind," in a sulidued
trilling whittle while he measured me.
"A nobby cask't and 100 hacks, eh.
Mr. .MulHns ? Must make 'a big tiling ot
it. The cuss left lots of money, and re
member he was to he your Priscilla's hus
band. Must have a splurge. Mr. MulHns,"
said the worthy undertaker, with an eye
to his own pocket.
"Well. I don't tnind if the coffin is a
little nobby looking ; but 100 backs !
The deuce ! Just send one or two for the
mourners, and the rest who come to at
tend the funeral can furnish their own rigs
or hoot it. whichever suits them."
They covered uiy face again and left
; me t uiy own reflections. I had often
I heard it remarked that meditation was
' good for the soul, and this was the best
chance I ever had ot trying it.
An hour must have passed and the door
was again opened, and two persons came,
whispering along, to where I lay, and the
voice ot my promised wife fell on ray ear.
'I dread to look at him. Mr. Howard ;
be was so homely when living, he must
be frightful when dead."
I ground my teeth in rage as I remem
bered how often she had srone into rap
tures, or pretended to, over my noble
brow and expressive mouth, and wou'd
solemnly declare that il I were taken from
her she would enter a convent, take the
black veil and never more In hold the sun.
One of them raised the cloth. I knew
they were looking at inc. Howard was
the chap she w:is spooney on, whom her
father had mentioned.
"Seem to me yon don't feel very bud
about his dying, Mis Muffins," exclaimed
"Well, to tell the truth," said my be
trothed, "I don't care very much about it.
If he hM lived I suppose I should have
married him. because be was rich ; but I
was getting about sick of my bargain, for
I know I should always be ashamed of
'But yon loved him," remarked Howard.
"Xo, I didn't ! My affections were
wasted long ago on one who never refurn
od my love." And my fast-fading idol
sighed heavily. They bad now covered
my face again, and were standing within
a few feet of where I lay.
"About how long ago. Miss Muffins ?"
'Oh, about a year or so," with another
"About the time I went away?" inter
rupted the cautious Howard, coughing a
Well, yes. afiout that length of time,"
assented my affianced.
"Now, Miss Muffins you oh ! yon do
not mean to insinuate that I I. oh ! too
much blis nm tlie lucky "
"I don't mean to insinuate anything. Mr.
Howard"' ; and the angelic sweetness of
her voice lieifune somewhat metalic.
'Now, see her Pris-pris-cilla oh ! let
me call you by that melodious name. See
here, I always loved you, not for J'onr
beauty. God knows, but tor your artless
ness ; 'pon m soul I did. and would have
proposed to you. only I heard yon were en
gaged to the chap that is stretched there."
"Oh. Mr. Howard!" said Mrs. Smith
that was to be. giving a little squeal.
"Don't Mr. Howard me. If you return
my affection you must call me by some pet
names. Call me narry call me Lovey
but for heaven's sake don't Mr. Howard
me. my own Priscilla." said Howard In a
Then I heard a movement ot feet, ac
companied by a loud lip explosion. Mo
ses how mad I got. I tried to kick or
grate my teeth, but the devil a kick or
grate couUl I raise. I was obliged to grin
and bear it. Bear it I had to ; but grin I
Soon my company left, and I was again
entertained by my own pleasant thoughts,
until I again felt the cloth gently removed
from my face. A soft, warm palm was
laid on my forehead, and the low, sweet
voice of Minnie Kivers whispered well,
no matter what.
Xlght came so did the neighbors to my
wake ; and from two old crones who eat
near me I learned to my horror that I was
to be buried next day.
Of course yon are coming to the funeral
to-morrow, Mrs. Frizzlebaum ?" said one
Oh ! dear, yes. I hope It may torn out
a fine day, for I want to enjoy the ride to
I then lost consciousness, and the next I
heard were the grating voices of Priscilla,
my fiancee, and har mother. Apparently
they were brushing, dusting, and giving
the room a general slicking up before tlie
"Is noward to be one of the pall-bearer?
?" asked the voice of my mother-in-law
that might have been.
"He would be, gladly, but he hasn't a
suit ol black clothes," said my sweetness.
"Why, Priscilla, my child, don't you re
member Smith's black broadcloth ; the
suit is brand new. I know it will fit nov
ard. Gall him in he's sitting in the kitch
en and let him try them on."
Now, this black suit was a particular fa
vorite ot mine, a perfect fit, that set my
person off" to great advantage, and it made
my blood boil to bear them talk so coolly
of transferring ft to my rival, to be worn
at my funeral. I was getting very mad,
now. I fc.lt the crisis was near, and that I
should either die or explode if they med
dled with my black suit.
Priscilla took it down trom the peg - I
knew it, lor I beard tlie buckles gingle
and made for the door. I tried 10 shake
in' ti-t, and yell at her, but all in vain ;
and there I lay, outwardly calm as a lamb,
my inwards boiling with wrath. It was
too much ! The deepest trance could not
have held out against that suit ; with a
powerful effort I sprang up and howled.
Priscilla dropped my clothes, her mother
the duster, and both bounded out of tin;
room, squealing like pigs under the gate.
With difficulty managed tc get my
chitfhcs on. and had just got inside my
pants when Mrs. Muflins and her daughter,
headed by the undertaker, peered in at the
door. A motley company of women and
smutty-faced children stood at their rear.
Such scared-looking owls; enough to more
than amuse a dead man. So 1 laughed. It
was not wry becoming ; but I laughed,
peal after ie-il. till my sides began toache.
Then the undertaker ventured near me,
saying, rather dubiously :
"So you are not dead yet. Mr. Smith ?"
"Well, no, not exactly ; sorry to disap
point my numerous friends abdut the fune
"Yes," he assented absently ; "rather
bad that is ahem !"
Fooled tmt of tfee dimes, carriage and
greys, my gal, thought I, as I looked at
"Go speak to htm," said her fattier, in
an under tone ; "act your part well."
They now began to gather around me,
and congratulate me on my narrow escape.
I noticed they cried a great deal more than
when I was dead. Priscilla came and hung
on my neck, sniveling desperaiely. I gave
her a not over-ge ntle push from me, acd
fold her to wait next time till I was safely
Iniiied before she meddled with my good
"Ob ! I am so glad !"' she said sweetly,
without appealing to notice what I said iu
regard to my clothes, 'thnt you are not
dead, dear. My heart seemed withered
and broken to see you lying so cold and
white. I wept bitterly oyer your poor.an
gelic lace, my darling."
"Oh, yes, yon did. I heard you and
Howard take on at a lurious rate. It was a
lucky die lor me, my duck 3-."
Could you hear ?" she gasped.
"I rather think I could," I replied. "So
good-by. my noble girl ; you can have the
pleasure of calling Howard all the pet
names yon can lay your tongue to." She
made a tee-line for the open door, and her
pull-back was the last I ever saw of her.
Howard never married her, and I hear slie
still lives a life of single blessedness.
As I am writing this piece, a quiet little
figure steals to my side, and a soft white
hand, which sends a thrill to my hoart. is
laid lovingly on my shoulder ; yes, the
baud ot Minnie Rivets, now Minnie Smith,
Tlie trznr ns a JIMctnnnkrr.
The Czar, being relieved by General
Melikoff of the cares of state, devotes his
lei -ore to matchmaking. It is announced
that the Prince Royal of Portugal will,
in all probability, marry a Princess of the
House of Romanoff. Tlie ex-President
ot the Council, who recently started from
Lisbon on a series of visits to the capitals
of Europe, was charged to open the
necessary negotiation preliminary to an
engagement on his arrival at St. Peters
burg. The eldest daughter ot the Trince
of Montenegro is stated to have been
affianced to Prince Alexander ot Bulgaria.
The arrangement is said to have been
brought about by tlie speital ;equest of the
Czar. The Princess bears the name ot
Zorka, and has just reached the age of
Tbe ijipwat Reaer vnl ton
This India:; reserve embraces upwards
of 900 square mile of land, four-fifths of
which Is good tillable land, and much the
larger portion of it Is the premium land of
the country for wheat. Why should less
than 1.500 Indians, men. women and
children, all told, hold this amount of
good land ? This is more than 330 acres
to each man, woman and child on the
reservation, and there not being more
than 300 persons among them ail who
under tlie land laws, were they not In
dians would be allowed tlie benefit of the
several nets providing for pre-emption,
homestead and timber culture, each qualifi
ed Indian could take his pre-emption,
homestead and timber culture, amounting
to 4 SO acres each, or 144,000 acres In all,
and there would be left remaining 436,000
acres for white' men to occupy under the
present land laws, , or enough to supply
2.CS7 whites with a farm of 160 acres
each. Now is there any re nse or reason
lor reserving 578,000 acres of land for
.these tew Indians who neither cultivate
nor giaze one fiftieth part ot it, while if
open to the white settler much the larger
portion of it wouid soon be plowed and
cultivated, and made to yield abundant
harvests ot wheat and other grains to en
rich tbe country ? ,. It really is an act of
injustice to the Indian to make him lord
of so much land which he never will
utilize. Let efforts be made to open the
Nez Perce reservation to settlement by
the whites in such manner as will not do
injtuy to the Indians. Segregate tlie In
dians on lands of the reservation of 160
and 320 acres eacli and the rest will fol
IinportHiit to Pre-entplors
Department of the Interior, i
Genkkai. Lani Office,
Washington. D.U., July 16,1830. )
ltegfxter and lieceicer i"
Gentlemen I transmit herewith"" a
copy of an act entitled "An Act to amend
sections twenty-two bundled and sixty-two
and twenty-three hundred and one of the
Revised Statutes of the United Stales, in
relation to the settler's affidavit in pre
emption and commuted homestead en
The above named sections required these
affidavits to be made before Registers and
Receivers, and this act provides that they
may he made before the Clerk ot the
County Court or ot ny court of record of
the county and state or district and terri
tory in which the lands are situated ; and
:f said lands are situuted in any unorganiz
ed county, such affidavit may be made in
:iim:lar manner in any adjacent organized
comity in state or territory.
The affidavit required by section twenty
two hundred and sixty-two is the regular
pre-emption affidavit, designated as No.
20, page 71, of General Cii cular ot Sep
tember 1, 1S79, and affidavit required by
section twenty-three hundred and one is
in case of commutation from a homestead,
as provided in said section, requiring
proof to be made in same manner as under
the law granting pre-emption rights. The
form for the latter affidavit is found in
the above named circular, on page 80,
and is designated as Xo. 35.
I have to advise you in the connection
that the companying act is to be consider
ed as retroactive in all cases pending, Jind
in which your action has been withheld
by reason of the affidavits having been
made before such officers as tre designat
ed in the act, before the date ot its approval.
J. A. Williamson,
lie ft enacted by the Senate and House oj
Representuttccs of the United States of
America in Congress csveiuWed. That the
affidavit required to be made by sections
twenty-two hundred and sixty-two and
twenty-three hundred and one of the
Revised Statutes of tbe United States,
may be made before the clerk of the coun
ty court or of any court of record of the
county and state or district and Territory
in which the lands are situated ; and if
said lands are situated in any unorgaHzed
county, such affidavit may be made in a
similar manner in any adjacent county in
said state or territory, and the affidavit so
made at.d duly subscribed shell have the
same force and effect as if made before the
register or receiver of the proper land dis
trict ; and tbe same shall be transmitted
by such clerk of the court of the register
and receiver with the fee and charges al
lowed by law.
Approved June 9, 1880.
How an OwI'm Heaa Bevolvea.
A writer who had read a story about an
owl wringing his own neck off by looking
at a man who was walking around him
tested tbe matter by experiment. He
obtained a specimen and placed it on top
of a post. "It was not difficult," says the
writer, "to secure his attention, for be
never diverted his gaze from me while I
was in his presence. I began walking
rapidly round the post a few eet from it,
keeping my eyes fixed upon htm all the
while. His body remained motionless,
but bis bead 'turned exactly: with my
movements. When I washalf way around
his head was directly behind him.
Three-quarters of a circle were completed,
ami still ti e same twist of the neck apd
the stare followed. One circle and no
change. On I went, twice round, and
still that watchful stare and steady turn
of the head. On I went, three times
round, and I began really to wonder why
the head did not drop off, when all at once
I discovered what I had failed to notice
before. When I reached halfway round
from the front, which was as far as he
could turn his head with comfort, he
whisked it back through tbe whole circle
so instantaneously, and brought It facing
me again with such precision, that 1 failed
to detect the movement although I was
looking Intently all the while.'
While It is true that tlie Republicans
haye made considerable gains of Congress
men in the Southern States, Including two
In Missouri, one In Kentucky, one in
Tennessee, one and probably two in Vir
ginia, and possible one each j in Florida
and North Carolina, It is no less true that
in a good many districts the Republican
candidates have been apparently voted
out by frauds in gross contempt of the
laws of tlie United States.: South Caro
lina, but tor such frauds and their twin
brothers, violence, hsuld send three Re
publicans to CongrcM out ot her five,
Louisiana IJircc cr four, Ark&nsa two.
Justice and good policy both demand, says
the S. F. Cltronicle, that in evety contest
ed election where the credentials of the
person claiming to have had a majority
of the votes clearly show that his claim Is
founded upon fraud, intimidation or viola
tion of taw, he should be unseated and the
seat given to the contestant. This rule
particularly applies to these Southern dis
tricts, where the laws were openly and
boastfully contemned as an insult to the
Government of the United States. Each
Home of Congress, through its majority,
is the supreme and final jndge ot the qual
ifications, of its members ; and it is to be
hoped that the next House ot Represen
tatives, when it comes to pass judgment on
the seats cf Southern Democrats whose
right to sit wilt be contested on the ground
of fraud or other violation ot law, may
turn every man out against whom the
same shall be proved. This is the only
remedy for a great and toss political evil.
Let the Southern Kiiklux once be made
to understand that their frauds and bulldoz
ing can have no recognition in Congress,
and they will be less apt tlian they, have
been at perpetrating them. We set this
ball rolling now, and we shall keep it in
motion till it crushes tbe scoundretisin at
which it is. directed.
A Roinanee Jn Skeleton,
A calm, dellffhtfnl antnmn nisrht
A moon's mysterious, golden light
A maiden at her window height,
In robea of pure and fleecy white.
The little vicket gate ajar
A lover tripping from afnr.
With tuneful voice and lilit guitar.
To woo hia radiant, guiding star.
A lute with soft. Insidious twang
Oh.liowthe doling lover sang !
A bull dog, with remorseless fang
A nip, a grip, a deathly pang.
A maiden with a startled glance
shriekinji for deliverance
A kind of wiered. hilarious dance
A pair of riven doeskin pants.
A maiden fainting with affright
A lover in aaickentng plight
A bull Iok chuckling with delight
a wiiii, ucnrious auiuiuh nignt 1
Soatbern Ncnlf uient.
Commenting on the result of the election
the Atlanta. Georgia, Constitution says :
'It Is the result ot a series of blunders, be
ginning with the Potter Committee and
ending with the surrender of the party to
tho selfish whims of an element which had
John Kelly as its commanding general. It
would appear that the line of sectionalism
has been sharply drawn by the voters of
the North, but there is nothing depressing
In this fact. We are willing that tbe North
should draw the sectional tine in politics it
the South be permitted to draw a line with
regard to tlie progress and improvement of
their conditions and forces which make a
people happy in their fields, their work
shops and their homes. We liave a pros
perous future before, and to this we should
look intently. We have the cause of pub
lic education to promote and the welfare of
a great and growing section to foster. The
South expected little more from General
Hancock's administration than it will ask
from General Garfield's. We want noth
ing more than simple, exact, absolute jus
tice. .If tlie new President owes nothing
to the South, he at least owes something to
the country ; and we shall be glad to see
htm cancel the debt by giving us an admin
istration as fatr, Just and clean as that of
Mr. Hayes." '
M'm or Cold.
R. G. Jenkins, F. R. A. S., has attempt
ed to show a very remarkable effect of the
planet Venus upon the earth. Many
year3 ago the present Astronomer Royal
proved that the disturbing effect of tills
planet was so great that the earth was
materially pulled out of its orbit. Sir.
Jenkins show that It Is to this disturbing
action we must look for an explanation
ot the cold waves which occur, on an
average, every eight years as in 1289,
1337, 1845. 1864, 1371, 1379 and that for
the next forty years the temperature will
be below the average, as It lias during tbe
last forty years been above the average.
In regard to high temperature he states
that tor tbe last fifty years a heat wave
has been observed to pass over tbe earth
every twelve years, nearly contemporary
with the arrival ot the planet Jupiter at
Its perihelion, and that we are on the eve
of the next heat wave.
A Tanner experiment was made with a
number of horses in Paris, In 1S70. The
following results were obtained .- 1. It
was proven beyond all doubt that a horse
can hold out for twenty-days without any
solid nourishment, provided it is supplied
with sufficient and good drinking water.
2. A horse can barely hold out for fire
days without water. 3. If a horse is wel
fed tor ten days, but Insufficiently provided
with water during tlie same period, It
will not outlive tbe eleventh day,' One
horse, from which water had been entire
ly withheld for three days, drank on tbe
fourth day. sixty litres of water within
three minutes. A horse which received
no solid nourishment for twelve dnysjwas,
nevertheless, in a condition on tlie twelfth
day to draw a load of 279 kilos.
An old monkey, desiring to teach bis
ons the advantage of unit v. brought thnm
a number of sticks and desired jhem to
see how easily they might be broken one
at a time. So each young monkey took a
stick and broke i it, "Now," said tlie
father, "I'll teach you a lesson,". And he
began to gather tlie sticks into a bundle.
But the young monkeys, thinking he was
about to beat them, set upon hint altogeth
er, and disabled htm. "There." sakl I lie
gel sufferer, "behold the advantage ot
unity ! If you had assailed Die one at a
tlm. I would have killed avery mother's
sop of you
A KCranKer'm itlniUik. , K
: : A"
A few day ago a Western tni$,
who wanted to do some sight o
and buy his fall stock at the same tu..
entered a dry goods jobbing, hoara tfS
Broadway, and accosted the first ueraoff
be met with, "Are yon the proprietor
here ?" "Not exactly the proprietor,
was the reply. "At present I am act.
inr as shipping clerk,, but I am catti2
my cards for a partnership next year by
organizing boon prayer meetiiiqa in th
The stranger parsed on to a very
important looking personage with a
diamond pin, and asked : - "Are yok
the head ot tbe houxe V
"Well, 110 '; I can't say as I am at
present, but I have hopes of a partner
ship in January. - I'm only one oi the
.travelers iust now, but I'm laying for
a 200 pew in an up-town church, audi
that will mean a quarter interest in less,
than six months." -
The next man bad bis feet npr h'm
hat back and a 20-cent cigar in hia
mouth and be looked so solid that th
slranger said ;
"You mast rnn this establishment-
" Me ? Well I may ran it very sooir
At present I'm tbe bookkeeper, bnt I'm
expecting to get into a church - choir
with tbe old man's darling and beootna
an equal partner here." ;
Tbe stranger was determined not to
make another mistake. He walked
aronnd until be found a man with his
coat off and busy with a ease ot goods,
and he said to him ; ' '
"The porters are kept pretty busy ia.
here, I see,"
"Yes," was the brief reply..
"But I suppose yon are planning to.
invent a Gospel hymn book and' sing
tbe old man oat of an eighth, interest,
aren't you ?' : J-
"Well, no, not exactly,"' was the
quiet reply. -'Ihn the old man hiau
self." , :A ": .
And all that stranger said, after a
long minute spent in looking the roer
chant over, was :. "Well dura my
buttons. IPcrtV Street Neiea.
The proportions of tbe human figure.
are six times tbe length of tbe feet.
Whether the form is slender or plump,
the rule bolda good ; any deviation
trom il ia a departure from tlie highest
beauty in proportion. The Greeks
made all their statues according to this
rule. Tbe face, from the highest point
of the forehead, where the hair begins,
to the chin, ia one tenth of the whotsv
statue. The hand, from the wrist to
the middle finger, is the same. . From
the top ot the chest to the- highest point,
ot the forehead is a seventh, If ths
face, trom the roots ot the bait to lhe
chin, be divided into-three equal parts,
tbe first division determines tbe places
where iuc'eyebrows meet, and the sec
ond the plaoo ot the nostrils. The
height trom the feet to the top ot the,
head is the distance from the extremity
of the fingers when the. arms an ex,
tended.1' " -:
The team attached to the tamiry
carriage of a rich Galveston family ran
away a few days ago The lady and
her daughter were ia tbe carriage, and
tlie street was full ot vehicles. She
asked the coachman if he could stop tba
team. lie said be could not, but , be
thought he could steer it. "Then, aakl
she, leaning back with great eojpfposure,
"ruu us into some stylish turnout.' I
want to be thrown into good company.
Fortunately the team was baited just
as it was about to demolish a swill cart
Tbe Princess of Wales, when at 8an.
drigham, has little tea parties for which
she herself makes the butter in a silver
churn and spreads it on slice of bread
which she cuts with her own hands.
While she is at work she wears a cbinta
dress and a little white apron.
"I don't think I like these mosquitor
ing places," said Job Shuttle, At ha
gazed long and mournfully at his taca
as reflected by tbe mirror. "I declare,
I never met so many bills in one niel t
before. Honored every one ol 'em with
a draft, too. Blood money, by jinco.n
About this time expect casual refer.
ences in tbe sermons of returned minh.
ters, As I was ascending Vesuvius,"
or "Standing beneath the dome of St.
The Tnfidel argys just as a ball duz,
chained 2 a pot. He bellows and sawa
but he don't git loose tram tba post, I
RotWs. Net much. - '
Truth iz said to be srey.
fjcksfcrtn it is 2 eo.;:2 lcx