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About The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18?? | View Entire Issue (Nov. 19, 1880)
ALBANY, OREGON, NOVEMBER 19. 1880.
tSwtftnever wrote anything better In verso
than the following lines, from un unknown cor
I'm tViinklne Jt now of Kolxjdj,-,
Ami Hll trmr Nnliody. "tone.
For I've a ru-sinn for Nobody,
Tdat Noliody elw would .wn ;
1 liear tin- nnnie of "ololy,
Kor from Nobolv I srrnnx ;
And I sins; lie ninise of Nobody,
As nolxily iiihie has-ung.
In life's vonns niornlnsr Noo-Jy
To me n f emler met dear ;
And inv era lln n roeked by Nobody.
And Xobo Iv ever near ;
I va petted and irniseil by Xo'oo.ly,
And Nobolv brought mv no;
And wlien I vns linnirrv. Nobody
Gave me to dine or sup.
I went to wool to Xoiiolv,
And Nobolv taught me to read :
I rtlnve-1 in the 91 reel, wbli Noboiy,
And No!dy ever tnve lieei! ;
IrTotvi;ed my la'eio Nolio'ty.
Ew No'mi Iv i willing !o lii wr ;
And inv h"irt ssc'-ur m No!ody,
Aui Sobo.ly sliea a tear.
An 1 when 1 drew older, Nobody
' Onve ii-e rt liri'Mnic turn :
A iifflirtW mVl ailof Ntrioaj-,
I tiee'iir. inv livinir To earn ;
An t hence teo'trtel N.:o1y,
And mill N'olmiH 's IV le.
An tiisUe I 10 niai ryWvly,
And Nol.Mil y married mc.
Tims I ti n l'-e nloiijr with NolKjJy,
And Nobody cheers my lite.
And I hii' i' n love lor Nono ly.
Which Xii'hi 1 lias for a ite.
So liiic'- a henlth 10 Noim ly.
For Nn'Miflv now in town.
An ! I'x' iin'is!nn for Nobo iy,
Thai Nobodv else would own. M.
A loii!lr'n l:nsoiii.
' 'You're ,'i cro. .k'an !" pouted pretty
little Marie Verueau as lia looked up in
to lier lover's face w-i'h a most bewitching
'-It is very fA'-s t; call ir crow, .Marie,
' .-I " 1... 1 luvfl.
was ins rejomuer , --im .......
know tit-it what you please to term my
cnKiiei is a vert different in liter. It
isn't tint d y') voir love, either, dear
est ; but 1 cmi'd litrJ'y get word or Iook
from yon lat iiirlit. It the glitter of the
buttons. I think, tint blinded you."
In an. til-tin": the yri's ropieiry hai
vmiidie I. He had spoken the li-t sentence
vilh so ns strange, n. w biflerue-s. and it
brought Itoili seines coniiitiou to the
lovely, laiigliin;; f.in-.
"Xo-.v. .Te-iu." sly a i is wire-1. . It was
nothing hut my siiiy. idle vanity. One
would suppose I wa th-only pfeity gi'-l
In Lnrrii.id. M hrar these idle Irllnvvs
talk ; ami. bi li-te .i :. 1 la-gin to lielieve
so myself. Bat it's not tin- but ions l bey
wear, Jean. Oh. d 1 not know ho
erueily it hurls you not to loi them ill
your enuulrv's defense, a ml the rcam
Which prevent- you . I won't make yon
jealous aalii, dear. If only tl.at I'm
fool eriouili to like to heir the J:ii-"i
things ilitsy U-II tne."
Ioor litt'e Mtri"! ' S'ie h tnw I h.it -he
should lii.d it ven b:u-'l work to k i p her
promise ; but she lovnl lean so tt'-.iriy that
File would turn her hark beiav-forth on all
these brave young Kieiu-li soliliers. who
found her pre-eni-e such charming relief lo
the tedium of hairick lile.
Shef.lt rpiite re war !il. too. when .lean
6tv(H-l to kiss the ret I. upturned tips.
' "I dau't n i an to Iv a lyrant. Marie,'
lie raid. "It's early lo la-gin assuming
that role ; but you know it's never been an
eisy tiling forme to stand by like a cowurd
when 'my country ncvds me. and last i.iht
1 felt that even J'otl had gone over to the
enemy. Sometimes I don t know which
way i:iy honor lies whether to go or may.
Yu may fcfe me with but tons yet, Marie,"
he mlded with a siekly smile.
Tile girl'.s color fled.
Ym wo ibln't lean. ! pi toll a w ieked
"tiling f'T it would be vici.ei '. Ymi
know wi a' the i!m tor says lba. though
you' may iie to ripe o il y our heail is
SO afl'ecle.1 Ih-it the Xi ii.-u.ent t,( neliou
Wofiiil pro'l-H-e i .-lanl U-:l'li. "our moth
er has g:v n time Yo-.i. fli. n
est. arc left at home to be ii i -i:,
Yourgoif g I'-f.nhl Ui.l her a- '-veil a- ill -
It is lor her. rtlher itiu; .u ( -i .'!. .::
I May., V hv shou'ii i;oi my liii- ! .ll-r-ed
up. for Kri.ice well as a.iotln-r,
though it liny b- in a dill'.-rent way ? 1
wish the conHief. might ! eu.le.l lor iy.-.
I wldi thit I might he cfin-cripteil. Three
times mother has raise. I the money by
lamd aiid moi tg-ige. to buy me of'.
Tliere' iiol!ij..g left now. She Would
il to h i me art
Asd i-:by m..'. of .ij..
fMillt,--ll Sin- k;tli.
YoiiM ooiv lov- me !eiter." hean
Rvml. "'I'd wear the buttons tfieii. In
whose reflection yon could catch night of
your own pretty face." v
"Hush, Jean bush V
Ami tho man was tain lo soothe and
pi online w lint die would, ere the smiles
came back to the dimpled inotith.
Marie had maiken truly when she had
said that (die bad not meant to w d her
lover. Slie had loved liitti long ami inily
all tlies3 years. She con Id hardly remem
ber that time wlien she had not loved him
certainly not when she bad not torin'iif
jBd his jealiMn il mht' But he would do
so no longer, not even w hen handsome
Richard, the sergea .1 of gu icd. who ilaue
,fc'lM divinely, shouUI come p'eading lor
one waltz. - .
Thin was the early rltiys nf the - war. and
Lorraine could not look i-.b. mly tnthe fate
u store tor lier. li u sh inti -t d.mce to
German music uud correct her iiitisical
patoi int the difflcult Getnin tongue.
But day by day. Frn: ce's need wsiss grow
ing sorer, ami lliecoi.seii.ti(.., more preftSi-Jng-
- No longer content with her willing,
. she must liave the miwdling sons aM well.
Marie' heart trembled eyi-ry time sbe
heard of freBh'list. Oue eveuin-c at a
ilttle dance, I'iene KiHi-irrt nppr..nched
.'I've Dot bail waltz lor'a full Inonth,"
jhe wbl-(.wred. V1iat U it. mademoiselle?
jAre you angry wub i" f "
What could she say ? His handsome
face was close to hers, bis pleading eyes
more eloquent than bis voice, the music
giving forth its most tempting strains.
'Just one round," she thought lo her
wlt. 'Jean cannot be so foolish as to
Object to that."
But once under the spell, it was not so
eay to break it off. and when the music
died away her partner said in a low, im
ploting tone :
Won't you conic our with me under
the star for a little while? I have sonic
thing to say to yon"
She let him lead her where he wou'd.
but she was still unprepared lor the hot.
pnssionate wo ds which rang out on t!ie
night air. and s-hr.-ink away as it. li-ti-ni-d
"I am betrothed." she said. Surely
you know to lean.'"
. v. I iliil not know." '-.-rnnltereo.
between bis st-t teeth. You have pla.yeil
with me, mademoiselle you shall n gu r
With tlu-se word- be tool; her back into
the ball-vnom. boweil and left her.
Oho week Liter Jean Rover's name
headed the conscription list. M.vle's!
heart swvi'ed with pain as she -.iw the au
l Din.ri leent of li e news. .
It w-ts nioic welcome ".ben. when, in
the evening's dusk 1'ierie Richard ap
proached her, w 'nli out-tretched irind.
'I was ungei'.ei ous a week ago," lie
said. "I want to ask your forgiveness
ami to express the hope that you will slid
let me be your irjend."
Frankly she accepted the proffi red truce.
The man's eves were veiled by the down
cast las'ies. a un she could not gne-s the
wave of triumph rasing in his beait.
You are looking sad. mademoiselle, be
continue'!. I have no i iiht lo ask you j
why, and yet if yon woti'il give me this
liflle pr:r'of your -ontiiIei:ee " !
'I think," .-be answered, that yon have
won it. I.tiok ! you may see it here."
She held up before him the paper on
which ihit day's conscription list was
Again bis e es glittered, but bis voice
was very low an 1 carefully modulated.
"I see." he sai-l. Surely, mademoiselle,
you do not u gn t ! Surely you would not
have liLn a en ward ?"
It is not that !"' she cried out. with a
pflsshniate ring or p-mi in her lone You
l. not umlei -lai d. He wouM li;ni- onr
!i.g ago. i : 1 1 tint il doieiis him to ce: tain
death : and Ite js the la-f of lour sons w hom
his moller I -is ei'!i t.t i-'ra ce. Ilis
l.rn: is j IT i- d. I lire,- limes th.it -uini-i.
g n:e.;!.ei I. as i.-.eS.t i.is r, 'ea-e She
M" in l-ii;ir d -o ; ii- i little all hi-gm-.
Ah. tins w'ni cost two lives hers
and bis ! I I am J'11": ; I inn-t live
and -uit'. r I"
She stopped, choken by tears. Rii hard's
band ciosi-d over lu i-s
I will save vmir lover. M.tiie.
wlii-'pen-d. Will you 1 rust it to me?
Say nothing be w in d i ot accept ir. it he
knew ; bi.t meeT me to morrow, at Ibis
hour, on the titi'skirts of the woo !. am! it
will bring yon the mitouuf of bis ie!ea-e.
I will tell you then how you may pay tl.e
debt. so that it need nr.! trouble you."
Then. -'e she inn'.d liii-r ol jections, she
felt her hand carried lo bis iirs, and he
w :is gone.
How she. b.ad mi-jtidged 1dm ! Ilow
good. and noble, a i. d tiiv he was !
She could Iiirdly ref.ain. ; he nef d a v.
wlien Tea u came, front Soui.di: g bi-pr.ii-e-
in hi- ejifs. bul thai .Imu I i:u-e f
was so strange in manner and watched bet
I' W:ts h.
1 1 --
f!;o :.;ht tb ' hf a a -
n i..eil h:. V
o.-i hi- cfe-i-l. .
She Jitt-'V ;:el , o:i .,
jroac!i"d lor her
Ierlnrl Wb.r -fn.i
aoi r in
d -he :.'.
not 'e i-ve oer ?
t ai'i y c irly nior io
w on d lie too j i ! 1
-flood-h.. lean I"
-In. .1 ir Ver ti 1 is-
the , ... :-;i (a
levi'lt r iv-
she Cll'e I. -ai .. .
Iriu. ! h . v. :.n
e :i;.-i;iei: foi -, IKt'e.'t hi . V'ai mv
He sprang io his t-i-t. and -eiy; - d her
bands in a grip of iron.
"Where ar.e you going Marie ?' he said,
ir harsh, gul t'lt al tones. Tell ine as yon
value your future peace !'
I've oof. yet promised to oliey." she
answered, in forced lightness, striving to
hide her fear at Ids manner.
Then be dropped her hands, and -fie
hurried out. Already she found Richard
a waiiiug her, pacing Impatiently to and
i "I thought you would never come." tie
said. ""Here, Marie, is what I promised
yon !" and he held .mt a little b ig filled
A sob of gratitude ; rose in the girl's
"But the payment, of my debt?" ?be
I have loved yon. Marie." he replied,,
tenderly. 'I ask but oi'f payment, anil
that. Ifiat once yon will let me kiss your
lips. My dar'ing. I five a soldier's lite..
I may die a soldier's death ! Yon will
not then hegrude 'the little boon I crave,
as a token lltatou have forgiven tlie
harshness I once, showed, and accept my
An instant Mirie liesitateds-nn Instant
pnly. Such a kiss could do Jean no wrong
some day she would tell him - anti with
this she upraised to the man bending sbove
her ths young red lips.
Ilis kiss juet brushed them, when a
shadow fell across their path, and Jean
sprang from the wood between them.
Something glittered in bis band, but
Richard caught and field his arm.
"It is well !" said Jean, slowly and in
gasps. ''Neither of you are worthy the
st . in ot murder on my soul !"
"Jean," pleaded Marie, "I will tell you
all ! Listen !"
But, shaking off her hold like a viper's
lie strode off into the blackness.
Tite next morning at daybreak, be was
marching to the front.
'Poor Marie ! They were sad days to
her that followed. Riclltrd pressed bis
suit in vain. His presence was hatetii! to
iter. He it was who hid driven Jean
Irom her side.
Ti en Richard, too, wa ordered to the
front. A tew hours before' he marched he
c.-ime :ir:itii to tiiead wpb her.
"Your lover never will come back alive,"
I5e-ides. he would no longer
be your lover. Why. then, will you not
consent to become my wife ?"
His per-:-:e:.cy suing her.
"Jaiau-e." -he sai l. would rather
have . lean's tVo-.vn (ihiii yi.ur mile. his
scorn than your love I cannot help it.
I love him. I cm t ever ,'ove jolt !"'
So he b," he aiiswete l. growing very
pale. Y. ti have lo-t no. bur. von will
never win bint. Ah. my lady. I hive not
forgotten, lie will never come borne.
II-- will die n I he Held, believing you false.
Yon never accepted the debt, but I bad my
paymei t. Ha ! ha ! ir w as plannetl well !"
A gleam of the truth broke in upon
"Yon planned it then lb.it .lean should
see !" she said. " You b:o::gbt him there
You made him think m- false Oh. cow
ard ! It was worihy of von !"
ll'he n.-xt mo l'h the war w as ended :
hu i!te the doctor's tn-o )'iesv. Jean j
Rover bad come bravely rhmutih the test
of battle, wi'h a record fur which he hid j
no reason to feel shame. His heart had j
given him i.o t'-on'i'e. t had been turned
into st ne. he said to himself Life was
no longer sweet to him. therefore it w::s
spured. He wished almost that lie might
have changed nbiecs w ith one poor fellow
over whom he stooped. whos(. monieul's
were growing very short : but be started
back as. in tin ptlii I. bio I stained fice,
he recognised I'ierre Itiehard.
Jit-t then the dying man opened his
'It is fife I" he whis, i. if. 1. "I'lie note
yon jjof I wrote ir. She was tritf. It i
was a debt )! paid. Tell her I a-nt
v. .n. and give it 'ack from your
Slow ly fie articulated each word ; but.
though Jean only half srrasped their mean
ing, it was all made clear, a few days later,
w h.-n Marie with her little hand tight
clasped in his, told him the story of his
But when ha drew her n hi m. at its
close floubr, shame faced, had forever fled,
and in its stead was tiniest rever- nee for
the hold" woman who was so soon to
lueige the claim of swee-heart" Into the
holier claim ot -wife."
Jsi.t flie 'itdnir.
And now the sea son is approaching. hen
Ihe earth shall he tilled with ipiesi ionings ;
nml secret coinuiHhii:gs and councils ha!l.
in appearance at least, divide each family
agaiu-t ir-eif. For while the younger
generation is conjecturing, with aspira
tioi.s in ii,. .ii- di reel ions. Vhal shal
we ivi rivr Ihe elder is d.-!il.er it in.
w iih :i!i-itty horn of responsihi'iry. the no
'ss ini;, or: mt ipi,--'io.i. Whit -bid we
:e ; V.'t.iic enamored -Wii.: triers
' 't'-l.l hill, -ei! w iielher :, tine s:,,',I seeill
too poi.ded o'Verio; to bis f'.ir. anolilef
lia'ii W!l-tl,..- a 'oeket 'VII! H- sn,!t.i,.,t.
,o i 't'co' ii.- .ir-iii'! ili-tn of bissiaieol
n.h.d. V one ,'aoi. s lay euuniug pi nis to
-'io ;.o s- j.,., i.f ,'wi off hoots and
ii 'A !e-o f. !) ,i . a -!. in.', ts tor
In I - .'. !.' t o f : ; 1 ol Vlh- lll chil-
! 1',-: . i V- : i r - . i f.- . I .-. I';: illii s. to
' 'inc. him t xpiv . u --biukingiy. his
pleleret.ee !' 'I I .1111-1 ai li-' ,'il.i. or a set of
- i rvt'.g too o'' :! W :!!l 'l I rozv ilre-s
i ...u-... V. - i lii i: h i te;-:e I mi -cf'"a id.
O il !i'ir!l.';"r. t-.-i-f. -i'c-1 .;e tt --tr'l.ge
ni!f.Ti!..;ii - i.. Ii- '('il. f"t !l ' i loo W hieh
lie ti ru.s hi- lit all. ami mutters iincnmtor
tably io iiiin-e.t that he supposes Lizzie's
or 'I'oni's young ones will lie expecting
something from him.
The wi-est books declares it to be more
hlessfi! to give than to receive ; and really,
w hen one comes to think of it, it decidedly
should be so. For to find the right tiling
to give lo discover the precise article
whose moral shape shall adapt itself alike
lo the tastes of ihe recipient, the purse of
the donor, and Ihe conventionalities of
society is a labor so great I bat indeed it
deserves nn exceeding great rewaril. , The
range ot arl teles is so vast the points to
be cnti-idcred so numerous that it is no
wo: iler the intending giver olten sits
down in despair, and piteous)' exclaims :
I don't know what, lo give !'
But for every evil thorn . come,- in good
time a remedy. A great New York house,
wliose spevial business ; is to minister to
the wants ot humanity, has hit. npou the
happy device of arranging th different
articles suitable for all elates and condi
tions of men. women and children, each
under its proper heading ; and -.of publish
ing a complete series ot illustrations,! de
scriptions, and prices of Ihe same. Some
idea of tlie magnitude ol this work may be
gathered from the tact that it occupies 96
large quarto pages, most ol which are
positively crammed with Illustrations and
description. . With a worVof this kiiwl one
can sit down and examine at leisure the
whole range ot possible gifts of every kind ;
and can select a present for the one he de
Kghts to honor, without the haunting tear
that to-morrow, when too late, he will lie
sure to see something that wviuld have
been more suitable. Or, if it be desired to
learn the special longings of any individu
al, it will bo only necessary to leave this
book on the sitting room table, and to be
guided by encomiums passed upon any
particular article by the individual in ques
And even to one who has no presents in
contemplation, there is no lack of interest
in a woik of this kind ; tor in no direction
is more ingenuity exercised than in the
production as Christmas gifts. Here for
instance is a lifelike linage of a bird upon
a perch. Attached to it is a flexible arti
ficial windpipe, into which when the per
former blows, the bird opens his beak, and
pours forth a flood of melody that would
make the heart of a canary ache with envy.
And this lor a single .Tol'ar ! Or here
again is a ferocious looking bulldog hungri
ly Seated on bis haunches. The youthful
proprietor Ii .vires an older friend to
place a coin upon the dog's nose : when
hey J presto ! the coin is flung into The air,
the mouth gapes expectation, and
'Before a man hath pow er to say, Behold !
The jaws of'daikness have devoured it up."
Is a lady find of f incy work ? Beliolil
an assortment ol designs, cotuenced sullici
rully to show the stitch and pattern, and
sent with all materials tor finishing on re
ceipt of price. Or longs her soul for per
sona) adornments ? On I heir proper pages
she may see tin veri-J-t loves of bonnets,
the latest things in jewelry, the last - tyle
in drt ss ; ai.iy. even the proverbial rainy
day is provided for, and nti assortment ot
umbrellas figures in its place. Are the
younger members ot a family seeking
present- for its heads ? Let them look at
iln se silver tea-sels at all prices, these
dinner services of French china, these
jardinieres, and cofT.-e cups, ami shaving
sets, and walking canes a never ending
catalogue of tilings tli.it mama and papa
will delight to possess. And as for the
chrdren Heaven bless 'em nor columns
are too short to convey a bare idea of the
wealth of good things described tor their
d lectat ion. Rage after page the record
runs, as though it would never end ; and
Jennie and Harry must be bard indeed
to sati-fy. if from among the long display
of doll bouses, and picture books, mid
skates, and cows that low, and steam en
gines that do rea i work, and silver forks
a..d spoon-, and magical tricks, and Cini-t
ia as tree ornaments, and candies, and
goodness knows what else, they tail to
find the very things their hearts desire.
And for this wondrous honk bow- much?
Why only fifteen vents. It is the winter
number of tlie Fashion Quarterly, find
Rlnicti Brothers, of Eighth Avenue, Kew
York, are entei prising publi-hers who
oflei it to an appreciative world.
A rlontliis I'olaer
"Go down to Pier 45." said tlie editor
to tlie new reporter, "and wi ne up the new
Lngli-h steamer just arrived. Give a thor
ough account of her from stem to stern."
From what ?" said tlie young man re
cently arrived from a far interior State,
ami to whom a vessel of any sort was a
mystery and a wonder.
"From stem to stern," said the editor,
fixing a suspicious and threatening eye
upon lit in. "and teb how nianv feet of
water sh- draw, her breath of beam, her
toneage. and ail that sort of tiling."
This was the young m u '- first mission.
Hi? was eager lo i! i -! b guisb himself. i!o
had r.heaov none -o on ids vil'age papier in
II series -t Oil "iln' ,'os , i oji . i ty of
tlie Uii!vere." Hut that little (own was
a thousand miles aw:v. He war. ltd a
wider field for his aspirations, and hud
come to Xew York.
Yet In- went o il of the o'lice anxious
and doubting. I will ; o to il e captain,"
-aid lie ; "he will cxp'.lin to Hie tlie ship
and its uses, lie will tell me all.'
"Ciiplaiu," said lie, "I am sent to write
up your s! ip. Oblige me by stating how
many masts he lias ?"
Kieliteeit," . promptly answered the
-Where are they ?"
"We have sent them on shore to be
"How much water do you draw?"
-How do you draw It ?"
"By steam power from. the well."
'Were you ever in a storm at sea ?"
'Never," said the" captain.
"Are you ever seasick ?"
"Awfully ; can't leave my berth from
the lime we leave New York till we arrive
in Liverpool." :
Are the rest of your officers and crew
"Always ;' we're only on deck and
about in port.
"Why who steers Ihe vessel tit eea ?"
'The co.nk ; he's tlie only well man on
. -Do you sail nights when otpside.of
"Never; we anchor."
'What, In mid-ocean ?"
"Ot cou.-se, yon land -lubber.. There's
docks lo tie up to at regular distances all
tlie way across.1"
"What is that hole there for ?" pointing
to an open hatchway on deck.
"That's where an Iceberg ran into us
"Good gracious ! How do you see to
sail dark nights?"
"Wo send our boats ahead with laq terns
1 fj) light up the road."
"Are they there now ?"
'Yes ; anchored in line all the way
acros the Atlantic ocean."'
After getting much other Information,
which the captain said he was on'y too
happy to impart to such an interesting
young gentleman, the reporter relumed
and wrote as follows :
"The new steamer Crusader Is a splendid
specimen of naval architecture. Her keel
revolves on hinges so as to be readily un
shipped in a storm when It is not wanted.
The rudder also, by a patent contiivance,
can lie drawn out of its socket and deport
ed on deck during the night and in hurri
canes. The Crusader has folding decks
which can he doubled up when she has
but little cargo, and lier tonnage in this
way can be decreased from 4000 to 2Q00
tins. Xhe mainsail can. if necessary, be
used as a skysail or wiudsail, and the sav
ing of canvas effected in this manner re
duces the wear and tear of lier running
rigging one-halt. Tlie mam brace passes
from tlie end of the bowspiit over the fore,
main and royal masts, thence down over
tlie spanker boom to tiie taffrail, and into
the cabin windows, w here it is secured by
a dutible-banked .-hccpdiank to the head of
tlie captain's berth. She has compound
engines, which boii n-aier at an extremely
low temperature. Her screws revolve ut
tlie rate ot 10.000 times a minute and can,
if necessary, tic brought forward and Used
as puddle wheels. Tlie Crusader is also
constructed on thp 'erab principle and by
bracing up everything sharp on the wind
and wearing ship frequently, 'she can go
s ta-t side- ways ns any other way. The
engines are furii'slted with condensers,
which condense milk as well as water.
Her cabins are coirstructed on the French
fl u principle, tliere being six stories, with
kitchen, etc., tor each family of passengers.
The C'riu-ndtfr also carries her owu docks,
and thus saves all tlie expense of warfage
w hen in port. She also carries her own
quarantine, and so cannot be detained if
there is any malaria or measles on board.
Tlie pilot, pilots lier all t lie way across the
Atlantic and comes back with tlie ship
each time. Her compasses in the barnacle
give each day the direction of tlie wind
The captain's cow is milked by l lie boat
swain in the foretop."
A few days since a young man was seen
to precipitate himself Irom a North River
pier into the water. Un the stringpiecc
was found a bat. and therein an unfinished
essay on the "Cosmogony oftiie Universe."
Science in ( uutt.
"Do you plead guilty, or not guilty?"
.'like I tiie Judge, addressing Simms.
''Idosen'f plead at all. I isn't no law
yer. Yer can't ketch me wid yer pints."
"Look out, you impudent rascal. Are
you guilty or not guilty?"
"Now yei-V gelling at de lacks. 1 has
de honor tor state dat I is not guilty."
"Yes lie is. Jedge." exclaimed Cobb.
'He hit me in de motif wid ilis fist."
"t ueber tech de man."
"Didn't you-hit him in the mouth?"
asked the Judge.
"No. sar; I didn't put my ban on him.
In fack. nchcr tech liim."
Judge. I swar on tie bigges' Bibel dat
lie bit me."
"Now. look a heali." said Simms, "de
courts of dis Ian' ain't iechnicum enuf.
When yer jei k-s a man up on a charge yer's
got to slautiare de chatge. Ef dur wuz
moah eddycatioii nong niggers an
white folks dar wouUbi't be baifde trouble
in de courts. Is tnv ,.,- n-chiti' djs
table. Jedge?" And he placed bis band
en t he lle-k;
"Dir what- yer's off. Case why?
Vordin ter flosophy what I've been
stu.lyin" yiu can't tech nolliin. Dat Is
air'rwi eti my ban' an" de table. Ef my
ban" tech de tab'e hit would stick dar.
Now, look siheah. Ant'ny," and the priso
ior turned to Cobb, "is yer gwine to put
yeisiit in such a ignerent light? Yer's
been a stugeut loo long not to know bet
ter den dis. Is yer gwine to add yer
weight to holiu' the culled people ot Little
Rock to tlie groun"? Now, ez a stugent.
at! a man what iinderstan's flosoty, did I
'Come to think ob bit," answered Cobb,
"I don't believe yer did."
"Now, Ant'ny, ez a stugent, an' a man
ob science, didn't yer run agin a post- an'
knock detn teef out?"
"Viewing this suhjeek in a scientific
light, I believe I did."
An' now, Ant'ny, as a stugent an' a
lamed man, won't yer withdraw dis case
pendiu' agin me, in which j'ersef H de
"Yes I will. Jedge dis man neber hit
me, an' I hereby widdraws de mistake."
"Dat was 'zackly right," says Simms.
as the two men went down together.
'Ef all the men ot science would hang
tej'gedder dis way, dar wouldn't be half
de trouble att' uneasiness lu de worlV'.
Little Bock Gazette. . -
;The nihilists on trial before tlie military
tribunal at St. Petersburg escaped with
light punishment. Three went Into exile,
and four received various terms In prison.
Rusian courts of late have shown go strong
a fancy for capital punishment that these
criminals, some Tif whom confessed to com
plicity hi plots against the Czar's lite, may
be called lucky to not feel the tightening
of the hangman's noose. .
If a young man liaint got a well bal
anced head, I like to pee him .part his
hair iu tie uiirldJe. Don't you..
Sir SCarniadnke's 3IisIiifii.
I won a noble fame.
But, with a sudden frown.
The people snatched my crown,
And in tfie mire trod me down,
My lotty name.
I bore a bounteous purse.
And beggars by tlie way j
Then blessed me day bv day, !
But I, grown poor as they,
Have now their cut se.
I gained what' men call friends, !
But no.v their love is hate.
And I have learned too late
How mated minds unmate,
And friendship ends.
I c!aped a woman's breast,
- As if her heart I knew,
Or fancied, lo he true,
Who proveJ alas, she too!
False like the rest.
I now am all bereft '
As when some tower dotli fall,
With battlements and wall.
And gate and bridge and all
And nothing Itft-
But I count it worth j .
AH pangs ot fair hopes crossed
All loves and honors lost
To gain tlie heavens at cost
Of losing earth. '
So. lest I be Inclined,
To render iil for ill
Henceforth in me instill.
O God, a sweet good-will
To all mankind.
Riiw tlie I'yraiuids Were Euilt.
Brngsch Bey, the eminent Egyptolo.
gist, says in liis work on Egypt :
From the lar distance yon ree the
giant forms of-the 1'yramn.is, as if they
were regularly crystallized mountains,
which the ever-crcatius; nature lias
called forth from the rock, to liSt them
selves up toward the vault of heaven,
and yet they are but tm inbs, built by
the hands of men. which have been the
admiration and .astonishment a'ike
the ancient and modern world. Per
fectly adjusted to the cardinal points of
tl.e horizon, they differ in breadth and
height, as shown by the measurements
of the throe oldest, as follows: 1.
The Pyramid t Klinfa height 405 75
feet ; breadth, 7-16 feet. 2. Pyramid
of Kl.a'ra height, 447.5 feet, breadth,
600.75 feet. 8. Pyramid id Menkara
height, 120.3 bet; .breadth, S52.7S
Tlie construction of these enormous
masses have long been an insoluble
mystety, but the latter generations have
succeeded in solving the problem. Ac
Cording lo their ancient usages ami cus
Toms, the Egyptians,, while they still
s.-journed in health and spirits, were
ever mindful to turn t heir looks to tlie
region where the departing Ua took
leave of life, where the door of the
grave opened, where the body, well
concealed, at length found rest, to rise
again to a new existence, after an ap
Doiute.d time of lon;, long year, whilb
the soul, though bound to the body,
was at liberty to leave the grave and re
turn to it during the daytime, in any
form it chose. In such a belief, "it was
the custom betimes to dig the grave in
the form ot a deep shaft in the rock,
and above this eternal dwelling te raise
a supetstruetute ot sacrificial chambers
sometimes only a hall, sometimes several
apartments, and to adorn them richly
with colored writings and painted scu1
tures, as was becoming a house ot pleas
ure and joy. The king began his work
from his accession. As soon as he
mounted the throi e, the sovereign gave
orders lo a nobleman, the master of all
the buildings of his 'aiej, to plan the
work and cut the stone. The kernel
of tlie future edifice was raised on the
limestone soil of the desert, in the form
of a small pyramid built in steps, of
which the well constructed and finished
interior formed the king's eternal dwell
ing, with bis stone sarcophagus lying
on tho rocky floor. Let us suppose
that this first building was finished
while the rharaoh still lived in the
bright sunlight. A second covering
was added, stone by stone, -on the, out
side of the kernel ; a third to this sec
ond, and lo this eveo a fourth; and
the mass ot giant building grew greater
the longer the king enjoyed exisfetice
and then, at last when it became al
most imiKissible to extend the area of
t'ce pyramid further, a casing of hard
stone, polished like glass, and fitted
accurately into the angles of the steps,
covered the vast mass ot the Fepnlcher,
presenting a gigantic triangle o each
of its tour faces. ....
More than seventy such pyramids
once rose on the margin of the desert,
eajsh telling of a king of whom it was
nt once the tomb and monument. Had
not the greater number of theee , sepnl. i
chers ot the Pharaohs been destroyed
almost to tho foundation, and had the
uatnes of the builders ; of thews which
still stand been accurately pre
would have been easy tor the
to prove and make clear by cal
what was originally, and of' i
the proportion between the tna
the pyramids and the years of tbe
of their respective builders.
feeimer In htuiu.
It takes an old woman well ve.
in herbs to give sage advice. I
It is not whisky that makes a mi
drunk, it is his inability to carry it
Toleda claims a citizen wbo poor,
hut water down his wife's back bscausA
she won't ioin bis church. .
Partridge is the name of a prominent
Southern divine. 16 he a bird ot prey t I
A man is a perfect brick when be r
shows himself all the better for being. -
hard pressed. - ' s-,.
"So much for bucking ham," aa J the-
Chicago man remarked after drawing; -
a check to settle bis losses in tb pork '
The Philadelphia Chronicle it doubt
less correct when it asserts that the
fair cpx cares more for pickles than for
As a street-car conductor took a ru
ral passenger's money the other day, '
he called it an agricultural fair.
A printer's wife always puts the baby .
in "small caps." New.. -York Newt-.
After a short . tbe primer succeeds the--small
"Mark where he stands," as the shoe
maker said to his assistant, while tak
ing the measure of a customer's foot..
"He was a kind narent. a trood citu-
zen, and had three horses that could
beat 2 : 30" is considered about th
right thing for an obituary iii entfickylT"
When the shopmac seizes yon warm-.. ,
lv bv tho hand as vnn pntpr his istaK
lishment, 3'ou readily understand whafe"
is meant by a pressure of bu3iness
Experimental philosophy -'f!ouIdurt
you lend me a dollar?" j Natural .
philosophy "Haven't a cent to spare !'
Physicians now say tbat the telephone
is injurious to the ear. We presume '
it is the strain ot tbe listening and
bearing nothing that does the barn) ,
An Ohio girl sued a man for breach
of promise, and proved binai such a
mean scoundrel that the jury decided i
that she ought to pay him something.
for not marrying her. , j -
A well-known actress, being charged"1
.1 ... t :. i. ..;.. i
ii': iiov:i j witu ueilij JIU vy 1 , ..
replied that without it she would bee
"beyond the pale ot civilization."
We have received a worki entitled
"the importance ol style in j penman-,
ship." We shall in the . future, wear
kid glove?, a white cravat and a silk ,
cravat and a silk hat, while engaged'
in writing. '
"Cardatrice" Yes, "Bliss forever -past"
is a good song and suitable to-
your style of beauty. We do not knowr
why Bliss passed, hut probably ne.
never could fill his hand.
"Woman naturally shrinks from
exposing the sad passages in j her life
to the world," says Ruskin. This' ia.
true. The most smiling face at tba
party often conceals a broken bustle.
Consoling : Poor author :j "Heav
ens, what a pain there is in my bead Pv
His wife : "Complaining of that ?
Yon ought to be thankful j there la,
anything in it." - ; i
Daring his recent. visit to Hamilton,
the Marquis ot Lome was treated' to a
fifteen minute address in ancient Gaelic
He is now prepared for . a visit- -from,
his mother-in-law. .
"Never borrow trouble," j id' a
husbaud to his wife. "Oh, j let- her
borrow it if she can," exclaimed the
next-door neighbor ; "she , never; re
turns anything, you know." i
"What are yonr politics ?" the chap-,
lain of the penitentiary asked i an in.,
telligent looking convict. have
not come out for anybody yet.'f replied,!
the convict, gazing placidly through
the bars. ! 1
It isn't necessarily the men whq
come prominently to the front io times. ,
of excitement that are the leaders of'
the people. The rudder that : direct
the ship's course always keeps modest.
ly in the rear. . , ; " ,
The New Orleans Picayime Bays,
that when a young .man returns from a.
summer tour without his trunk too,.
may know he has had' trouble with
some of the rascally hotel-keepers on,
A beantiful girl in Moline,
Whose hair wa a silvery sleen,,
- Bought an awful red bang '
On her foieT ead to h&r.g,.
Producing a curious fsceun..