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About The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18?? | View Entire Issue (Feb. 5, 1875)
Alt OLD TEAR SONG." BY Olim WKMDKLX, HOUCK8. Aa through tli toreat, dimmed By hill November, late I strayed, A lonely minstrel of the wood Was atnging to the solitude ;: I loved thy music, thus I said. When o'er thy perch the leaves were spiead ; Sweet was thy song, but sweeter now Thy carol on the leafless bough. Sing, little bird ! thy note shall cheer The sadness of the dying year. When violets pranked the turf with blue And morning filled their cups with dew. Thy slender voice with rippling trill The budding April bowers would fill. Nor pass Its Joyous tones away. When April rounded Into May ; Thy life thall hail no second dawn, Sing, little bird ! the spring is gone. And I remember well--day ! Tby full-blown summer roundelay, And when behind broldered screen Some holy maiden sings unseen ; With answering notes the woodland rung,") And every tretop found a tongue; How deep the Rbadr ! the groves how fata ! Slug, little bird L Jie woods are bare. But now' the summer's chant is done And mute the choral antiphon ; The birds have left the shivering pines To flit among the trellised vines. Or fan the air withscented plumes, Amid the love-sick orange-bloc ma, And thou art here alone, alone, Sing little bird I the rest have flown . The enow has rapped yon distant hill, At morn tho running brok will still. From driven herds the clouds that rise Are like tbe tmoke of sacrifice,' Kre loner the frozen fcod shall mock The plowshare, changed to stubborn r Tne brawling streams shall soon be du King utue Dim I ue frosts have come. Fast, fast the lengthening shadows creep, Tbe songless fowls are half asleep, Tbe air grows chill; the setting sun May leave thee ere t&y song is done. The pulse that warm ih breast grow cold. Thy secret die with thee, untold : Tbe lii.gOTing sunset still la bright, Sing, little bird I twill soon be night. AN EARLY RISER. "My clear anntT," ex61aimed young Harvey Ellis, harried ly entering the neat sitting-room of Mrs. Bent, "will you give ine a mouthful of breakfast ?" ' Ten twenty meuthf uls, if you want them," responded Mrs. Bent, cordially. "I have Sardly finished wiping the ooffee cups, 'and the rolls are still warm. There sit' right down here, and I'll serve yon in a twinkling." Harvey lost no time in complying with the invitation, and was soon demol ishing hot rolls and beefsteak in a man ner which indicated" the presence of a healthy -appetite. Mrs. Bent wise matron !-eaid nothing until he rose from theiable, his countenance wear ing the satisfied expression of a man who has jaBt conferred a benefit upon a fellow said fellow - being his inner man then she asked,- ' "Have you justcome from home, Harvey? The young man's amiable expression changed in a moment to a frown. "Yes. I know what you. mean wondering- why I came down town with out breakfast. Well, I was obliged to. The same old story, aunt Lizzie will not get up in time to prepare the morning meaL I've talked to her on the subject till I'm tired ; but it's of no use. Pillow-worship seems to be her only fault ; she's a good wife in every other respect ; but I fear that this foible is incurable." i Vioung yet lias childhood well behind her ; you know babies need a great deal of sleep. . Come, my lad, you must Hot lose patience so soon. Wait a little, longer talk to her little jnoTP and she will overcome this one fault." " Yes and in the meantime I may lose a good ' situation because I am never on hand early" in the morning," said Harvey. "No, no, aunt, I, can't wait any longer, . I-was late five morn-, ings last week, and on one of them missed an;important order, receiving a eprimand in consequence. I told Liz- ie this morning that if she would not get breakfast by 7 o'clock I should patronize a restaurant in the future." " What'dTd he say, to that ?" "Well," said Harvey, smiling with a certain grim sense of amusement at the 1 surdity of the' 'recollection, "she yawned once, and said, ''-What did you say dear t. then yawned twice, and mur mured, ' An excellent idea, liar , and went to sleep without trying to finish a fourth yawn." . - Mrs. Best, being a merry soul, laugh ed heartily, ; " Poor'ehild ! Then she really was sleepy." ... -. "Of course she was. - That s the worst of .'iff Lizzie needs 'so much more sleep" than I some people do, you know. Now I can get along with six hours res- while she requires at least eight. I tall her she ought to take a nap in the afternoon, if she can't man age any other way ;"for my breakfast I must have by 7 o'clock; and as we cannot yet afford J keep a girl, Lizzie ought to .prepare It for me." ;...,. - , To be sure she ought, replied Mrs. Bent, " and IH warrant she is willing to do it rthere never was a more capa w irl hSrn. Now I know just what vou've dofte, Harvey talked and scold- eel ana i&ysti ju o ooyvu , uc an edge-iand a jagged edge, .at that. V wnrfW & men - never can manage women. Leave Lizzie to me. Ill run over to the-house' before dinner, and have a chat with' her. Not another word, grumbler !a Bun along, to the v.nnoaii -vnri understand, and leave that which you -don't understand to your wise o This conversation took place at 7 o'clock in the inorairg ; and by the time that Mrs. Bent had attended to her numerous- household tasks, and placed her domain in perfect or.?er, it was nearly 10. In fact, tiie church clock struck the hour as she stood at her nephew's front door, patiently wait ing an answer w Presently tne tvv was opened a S7bf.bof crimpihg pins, peered cautiously out. - -" Oh ! it's only jou, Aunt Isancy ! vnM Mrs. Ellis, in a tone , -. i, .T.I a nrfltrv laea. sur- of relief. "I was afraid of ers am just doing my hair. J?me W in ! Don't took at the hall carpet, please I haven't swept this morning Oh ! don't go into the kitchen my stove is not polished nor the sitting-room. t tih narlor : I can finish TZ. whfla I talk to you. 'So Mrs. Bent followed her pretty niece into the parlor, which was Get us do its pretty mistress credit when we - tL TT. to be sure, but so damp and chilly-as is f eneraUy the case with unused roomsthat the good ladv shivered before she had fairly crosned the threshold. " Ugh ! Lizzie, I shall catch my death if I sit here I Never mind if your r-Awir. iarwt VflfV TiaT -Xb H " Such a cold old auntie !" responded Lizzie, gayly. But her fair cheek red dened as she ushered Mrs. Bent (the " neatest housekeeper in the world) into ner disorderly sitting-reom. And with afrdna tn-m for my heroine, I think she had cause for shame. The apartment was strewn, with the inde scribable litter that any,-two average people can contrive to make in the course of. nn evening. J-ozzie s work lay on the table near her overturned basket said overturn being Harvey's last exploit before he retired the night before. The reading-lamp stood near it, in evident need of "trimming." Harvey's tobacco tray, with the even ing paper, and a book from which he read aloud to his wife, were grouped in picturesque confusion near a plate half filled with rosy-cheeked apples. The cover of the cottage piano was awry, and on the floor near it were strewn several sheets of music. Every chair waa out of place, luxurious Harvey generally preferring . to sit in two at once, and having a tendency to change his seat once an hour on an average. The plants needed watering. Dick was chirping in his cage, calling dismally for his breakfast, and evidently exchang ing confidence on the subject of pro visions with his sharp-voiced mate, whose temper suffered under the state of affairs. And, to add to the depress ing effect of the whole, a drowsy fire was still obscured by the. heap of wet cinders with which it was every night covered by Harvey, who, being a man, usually divided the ashes pretty equally between the grate, fender and hearth-rug. Mrs. Bent took in the scene at a glance, and smiled furtively as Lizzie, with many apologies, drew forward a chair, dusted it, and then paid vigor ous attention to the fire, which soon re paid her by leaping brightly from its gray bed. That done, with a rapidity which showed her capability as a housewife, the young matron swept the ashes from fender and rug, cleared the table of its litter, picked up her scat tered music, wheeled the chairs inti place, and prepared to chat with her visitor. " I can't bear to sit down in an un tidy room," she said, " and that care less Harvey contrives to make the place a perfect den. Men have so little idea of order! However, it looks better now it's astonishing how much ar ranging one can do in five minutes." "Don't sit down till you've at tended to the birds, Lizzie," said Mrs. Bent, who was quite a bird fan cier. " They want their breakfast, I'm sure." "Poor Dick! Pretty Dick! Did him's want him's breakfast ?" chirped Lizzie, in the pretty baby talk with which she always addressed the intelli gent little creatures. " I suppose you attended to your birds hours ago, auntie ?" she added, pleasantly, while ministering to her pets. " Yes, indeed. I always serve them whie the water is heating for. coffee. I fancy the tiny things want their food and clean water just as much as we do." "You're so methodical, Aunt Nancy ! Why, I could no more find time to attend to my birds before break fast than I could " ' Get up early in the morning," in terrupted Mrs. Bent, laughing. Lizzie blushed, and then pouted a little. Well, it is true I don't get up very early " "Not before nine o'clock, for in stance ?" "Now, auntie ! What a shame ! I'm always out of bed before seven that is, I try to be ; but sometimes I take too long a nap while Harvey is lighting the fire. This morning he went away earlier than usual, and so I thought I would ' slumber again,' like the slug gard. And do you know my heavy head ' never woke up until half past nine o'clock I" Lizzie's laugh of amusement at her own expenae was so joyous and sponta neous that Mrs. Bent joined in it most heartily. x snail never Dreatue a word of the dire occurrence to Harvey," resumed Lizzie,, after the laugh had subsided, or 1 shall" be slain by the sword in his righteous anger. Early rising is the poor boy's -hobby, and he would swoon with horror if he thought you had almost caught me in bed after your housework: was done lor the morning. You're his model, Aunt Nancy ; indeed, if you were not such a dear, kind, lovely old auntie, I should hate you for your virtues I know I should." Tt ; 1 Al Z A.' 3 1 Having vy una nine ministered to Dick and Jennie, putting them in high good humor with an extra lump of sugar, Lizzie first kissed Mrs. Bent on the head, then on her ear, and finally on her chin, and, laughing merrily, sat down beside that kindly old lady, who was wondering how she should best ad minister a needed lecture to the bright, loving creature. " Lizzie, said sue, at last, rather ab ruptly, "at what time does Harvey have his breakfast?" "Oh, anywhere between seven and half past." . " I thought he was obliged to be at the store as early as that." " Well, so he is ; out a lew minutes here or there don't make much differ ence," said Lizzie, carelessly " My dear I Uo you really believe what you say ?" asked Mrs. Bent, in an expostulating tone. Why, yes, aunt," replied the young wife, slowly, her face becoming cloud ed, "at least, I suppose I do. To tell the truth, xxarvey nas talked so much to me about getting his breakfast in time, as he calls it, that I'm out of pa tience with tne wnoie subieoe. and am prepared to believe anytmng, " ' Pnt mw dear, that's nr But. my dear, that s not a proper spirit to display." "I can't help it. I'm sure I do everything I can to please Harvey ; but I. can't get up early in the mornings. And this morning he was cross and scolded, and went away without any thing to eat, and I'm just discouraged there!" . Evidently, Mrs. Ellis had to summon all the dignity o her wifehood to help her keep hack tears at this juncture. , " But alter au, dear, you cannot blame Harvey," said Mrs. Bent, gently. " He really ought to have an early breakfast, and it seems as though you are the one to get it ready." Of course you would say so, auntie . , . T you WHO steep " uuo eye open, x believe. But if you were a little sleepy like me. you would think differ- ntlv. and not blame me ' for what I can't help. " . , frs-Eent smuea. i " On the eontrary, dear, I have every vmoatby-with you. 1 know that I am now an early riser, and to that fact owe whatever superior uubhiuo qiMuiiy a ,w mii. Years ago I discovered that the morning hours are golden to a good i .ofA . Thev seem made for action. Why I can accomplish more real hard wrnrV between the hours of seven and s. . .i.i fresh from a ruRht's sleep, 1. i. tn tiv remaining six hours of the day. But it was not always so, Lassure "Really, auntie? said Lizzie, with r " Really. When l was a girl tcey nicknamed me, uvum, vyyj. v course you know the properties pos sessed by poppy seed. There was a i t.milv of us three boys and seven girls and all we girls too our turn in getting breakfast for the entire family. If you believe me, my dear, I never in my life had the meal ready in time, unless one of my sisters volun teered her assistance, or took my place." " Oh, what a naughty, shirking auntie ! " laughed Lizzie, much inter ested in this to her astonishing story. " Yes, indeed. But you see when I was married I had no kind sister to do duty for me. So for the first year of wedded life my poor Steve never knew at what hour breakfast would await him, or whether he could count on having any at all.. Being very much in love, he bore it patiently at first ; then he began to grumble a little ; then he scolded, and on one terrible morning he told me that even a fool required no more than nine hours' sleep ; that as I evidently needed ten, I must be a double distilled simpleton ; and that he, as a sensible man, would live no longer with a simpleton ; and then my poor old boy flung himself out of the house in a rage." Mrs. Bent leaned back in her chair and laughed heartily at the remin iscence, but Lizzie looked rather serious. " What did you do then, auntie ?" " Why, first I cried till I made my head ache ; then I dressed myself and sat down to think ; and I came to the conclusion that Steve was right ; and that I was a simpleton. Then I did my work, prepared the nicest dinner I could think of, changed my wrapper for a dress, put on a clean collar and cuffs for to tell you the truth, Lizzie, on ac count of rising so late I very often had no time to make myself tidy for din ner and sat down to wait for Steve." "Well?" "Well, my dear, Steve didn't 'come : neither did he come to tea; and when he finally did put in an. appearance, at nine o'clock at night, he coolly told me that he had taken his meals at his moth er's house all day, and should breakfast there in future, so that 1 need not cur tail my hours of sleep." " What a shame !" cried Lizzie, indig nantly. " x thins: his treatment was very harsh indeed." " Not one whit too harsh, dear," re plied Mrs. Bent, gravely, "for from that time I earnestly strove to overcome habits of sloth. Next morning I sur prised Steve with an early breakfast, and we had a nice little talk together. making mutual concessions. Of course he did not go to his mother's. It was very hard, at first, to rise at a stated time; but when I fonnd how much more easily my house was kept in order, and how much more time I had for sewing than in the old days, ambition helped my laggard inclination ; and before twe years nad passed l found myself an early riser without effort." Lizzie was studying the fire very in tently as Mrs. Bent concluded, and re mained silent for some time. Then she asked, . " Aunt Nancy, why was it impera tively necessary that Uncle Steve should breakfast so early ? He was in business for himself, wasn't he ?" " Yes, dear, in a small way. He was consequently his own master. But his presence was required at the shop early and late. ' A business won't prosper in strange hands,' he used to say to me. ' And industry and punctuality form the corner-stone of success.' Why, he would discharge any man who was late three times in succession. ' I have no use for a sluggard,' he used to say." "Used he ?" said Lizzie, with a faint smile. " What a fortunate thing it is that Harvey's employer isn't that sort of a man ! she added, thoughtfully. "It is indeed, Lizzie," was Mrs. Bent's earnest reply. Then, wise tac tician that she was, the kindly lady cnanged tne suDjeci, and alter a pleas ant chat on other topics took her leave, satisfied that she had done good work in her nephew s cause. And so it proved. Young Mrs. Ellis was a thinking woman as well as an amiable one, and pondered well the lesson contained in i her aunt's story. Setting aside all personal considera tions, she viewed the subject with Har vey's eyes, and admitted that she had sadly tried his patience in the past by her " one fault," as he termed it ; and she resolved to overcome a haby which threatened the overthrow of her domestic happiness. Of course she- succeeded, for earnest effort rarely fails. It was hard at first. as Mrs. Bent said, to rise at a stated time ; and many a morning found Lizzie red-eyed and' languid, really suneriEg for want oi sleep ; indeed, sometimes- she was fairly obliged to " take a nap" in the afternoon; that she might be bright and wakeful when Harvey came home. But all that wore off in time. We are creatures of habit no more nor less as Lizzie discovered; for ere many months had passed she found it no hardship to rise with the sun, while the, improved ap pearance of her house under the new system surprised and delighted her. " You see, auntie," saidrshe to Mrs, Bent, a long while afterward, " when I lay a-bed so late of mornings X was con tinually nur lying to mute up lor lost time ; was always behindhand with my work, and consequently always tired when night came. But now it's all so different ! X have time for everything. sewing and all, and am never really tired, while the consciousness that I am pleasing one of the best of husbands is alone worth the effort I! have made to overcome a habit which was fast rob bing me of all energy and ambition. "xou re a good girl, Lizzie," said Aunt Bent, warmly, " and deterve to be made an example of." So I have followed Aunt Bent's sug gestion, and made an example oi Xjizzie 11118, reeling sure tnut many of her sisters possess her ' one fault." Then. like her, overcome it. You, who are wives oi workingmen, remember that you are helpmeets as well as wives, and do not allow sell-indulgence to rout wifely virtues, jrernaps it seems scarcely worth while to exhort you bo earnestly on such a prosaic subject as the one chosen, but these practical trices maae up me particularly a working . life ; and these men are few who do not esteem as the best wife. mother, sister and daughter, she who is the active, industrious "early riser. Railroad Casualties. The Railroad Gazette gives the fol lowing record of railroad accidents for the year ending with November, viz. : accidents.' Kilkd. Inj December. ..80 10 a January 108 18 98 February 90 25 49 March.... .....w ...88 13 . 49 April 69 ' 3 12 May.... 89 : 19 61 June 83 22 f 55 July 64 20 103 August.. ; 73 16 77 September 89 ' . 27 105 October 81 16 60 November... ............. 82 , 13 69 Total...-...........86 : aoi" 772 ; : William Platt, aged 60, recently waited rrom new xois. city to new- town, 70 miles, in one day. THE PEESflJEUCY. Bow the Fxeewtl-ve Term of Office Came to be Flx SVmr Yean. How shall the Executive of a re public be constituted? What shall be the powers, the duties, the tenure of office and manner of choosing the Chief Magistrate These were questions that embar rassed the United states Constitution framersof 1787. Xhe light of ex perience was no iuuminatmg.- Xn fallen repuoucs wie executive ma chinery was weakest and had broken down first. The failure of the old confederation had proved that a government without any Executive was several degrees worse than a government that was all execu tive, and the executive departments of the original States were all that those who gave form to our supieme law had to study. Prior to the convention, John Jay, in reply to Washington's inquiries, ex- Sressed himself in favor of an Executive mited in his prerogatives and duration. Gen. Knox declared himself for a Pres idential term of seven years duration. In the. convention the diversity of opinion on this question 'was almost irreconcilable. The extremes of opinion as to duration of service ranged from a tenure for three years to a tenure for life. James Wilson, Roger Sherman and Gun ning Bedford advocated a term of three years, Mr. Bedford desiring a provision against re-eligibility after nine years. James McClurg, Gouverneur Morris, Jacob Broome and Alexander Hamilton expressed in words and votes a prefer ence for an Executive during good behavior. On the first day of June, six days after the convention organ ized, it voted to fill the blank in the Randolph resolutions with the word seven, ineligibility being a part of the resolutions. On the following day eight of the ten States then represented voted to elect the Chief Magistrate by the national legislature for the term of seven years. On agreeing to the ineligibility clause Pennsylvania was divided and Connecticut alone voted no. After one successful and six unsuc cessful efforts to change the tenure, the convention on the 26th of July, re affirmed their first decision in favor of a President chosen by the national legislature, to be ineligible after seven years' service. It was not until Sept. 6, eleven days before adjournment, that the existing system was adepted, in ac cordance with the recommendation of the report of the committee of eleven. of which David Brearly was chairman. The four years' term, with silence as to ineligibility, was a compromise to rec oncile and unite extremes. A Hovel Adventure. As Dr. Billings, of this town, was riding along near Mount Carmel, he descried a deer on the road, and shout ed at it, expecting to see a fine run across the fields. The deer was so frightened that, in attempting to jump the fence, it struck the fence-rider and fell back. The doctor kept on shout ing all the while, and the confusion of the animal became so great that each succeeding attempt was no more suc cessful than the first. Seeing this, the doctor reined his horses in a corner of the fence, jumped out of his buggy, made for the deer, and actually caught it, but had no .sooner touched it than he found himself in the ditch. After two or three ups and downs it got away from him ; but, being a doctor, he fought on scientific principles, and in his endeavors to cut the carotid artery inflicted a j wound on its neck. Tbe confused and now wounded animal ran off ten or twelve rods and actually came back to the very same spot to jump the fence, and with the same ill-success as before. The doctor closed in and caught it a second time. and. after an other series of ups and downs, succeed ed in severing the carotid artery with his penknife,, when the deer's life-blood soon effused and it sank a victim to its captor's pluck. After the excitement was over the doctor found himself too much exhausted to lift his prize into the carriage. By resting some time, however, he was able to do so : and that being done, he drove home, we .will not say a bigger, but certainly a pleased, muddy, and bloody man. Strathroy Can.) Zntpatch. - The W averley Novels. Comparatively few persons now living can remember the excitement caused by the appearance of a new fiction by the author of Waverley. Circulating libraries were beseiged by their cus tomers, easrer to be favored with an early perusal of the new book. In some libraries each volume was divided. and bound in two portions ; and. at Bath, and other fashionable places of the period, they were, sometimes split into three parts to facilitate reading. The writer remembers seeing, in a Scottish provincial town, the novel of Guy Mannerine bound m portions of a hundred panes, each of which, at that time (1832), was lent to read at the rate of twopence per night. It con sisted in all of ten parts, the reading of which, at the price named.' cost - one shilling and eightpence; and the feat of perusal, in a case we personally know of, was achieved, not in ten nights, but in a callon of eight hours ! v uen tne xieitn smacK which omnou these literary treasures to London uri xi t , i 1 .1 arrived in the Thames, no matter that it might be midnight, or that it might be Sunday evening, the London agents of the Edinburgh publishers were on the alert, and had porters and vehicles in readiness to carry off the treasures to the "Row," or to "No. 90 Cheap side." where the books being, as it is technically called, in . " auires" the bookbinders were in readiness to per form their work, so that in a few hours copies were on the way by coacn ano wagon to all parts of the country. vnamberr Journal. Age of Han In Yorkshire. A bone found in the Victoria Cave in England having been determined by irrofessor Busk to be a human bone, great attention has been paid to the position and relation of the bed in which it was found, in the hope oi ob taining new evidence of man's place in geology. After removing from tne mouth of the cave a large quantity oi rock which had been thrown down from older workincrs. the Roman Celtic layer was reached, and several objects of bronze were obtained from it. This layer was ene to one and one-ha f feet thick, and, below it was a bed of " screes" aomristinz of angular irag- ments of limestone fallen from the cliff above. The bed was nineteen feet thick, and nnntained not the smallest trace of man or other animal. Under thi-i was found a mass of bowlders. The conclusion drawn from the examin ation is that man lived in Yorkshire with Elephas Antiquus, Rhinoceros, tichorinus, Ursus priscus, the red deer, etc., long before tbe existence of the great ice Bheet in Northern Britain and -Ireland. The Galaxy for anuary, - Jon&KiYMKN tailors in China receive two cents per day. All Sortsv Grass widows The wives of roving blades. America has one doctor to every 800 inhabitants. A St. Louis variety theater announces " The Female Brothers" as the reign ing sensation. A man not 45 years old yet, got license to marry his fifth wife, last week, at Bellefontaine, Ohio. The Dnluth Tribune, establishment has been sold at Sheriff's sale, and is now the property of Mrs. Lorinda R. XT 1 1 -i rt uiuuuru, oi umcago. Some of the leading theaters in Ger many propose to put a stop to the sys tem of recalls, and of throwing boquets and wreaths on the (stage, during the progress of an opera or play. Tub Paris police has forbidden the use of certain streets to people with velocipedes, and commanded that in all others they must carry bells by day, like sleighs, and a lantern at night. At a recent " cheese fair" in England. the judge decided that American fac tories cannet produce cheese equal to tne best cheese made in England, al though they successfully compete with the medium qualities. Mr. SktxiXiIkgs. of West Gorham Ma.. fired into his poultry-yard the other night and brought down Messrs. Perkins and xsiaEe, two quiet citizens who had got in among the chickens. Perkins died in a short time, and Blake carries thirty-seven wounds. Mb. Henry R. Mxoatt, of Oxford, N. Y., has a quart bottle of old Madeira wine in his possession which was put up and hermetically sealed by Robert Morris, of Revolutionary treasury fame. in 1771. He will have it on exhibition at the Centennial Exhibition at Phila delphia in 1876. An old tax warrant, just discovered. sets forth that Joseph Bonaparte was taxed in 1812 $100 for 1,600 acres of land, by Nathan Sutterthwaite, then Asso8sor of Bordentown, N. J. The ex-Assessor is still living, and says he " stuck it on a little, as Bony was rich and could stand it." An agent of the Massachusetts Board of Health is traveling on the railroads of that State testing the air in the cars, more particularly the smoking-car. He carries a pair of bellows and a small vial, partly filled with a fluid, into which the air is forced with the bellows, and subsequently it is analyzed and the im purities separated. Let those who think that if all plant corn instead of wheat the pork and cat tle business will be overdone, look care fully to the tables of slaughtered ani mals in this country, xn isoo tbe value of slaughtered animals was $200,000, 000, and in 1870 $400,000,000. If it reaches double that in 1880. there will e a demand for all. The Cincinnati Enquirer says : Bon ner, of the mew xorK Jbeager, is re sponsible for much of the prevailing distress. For years young people have been reading his delusive romances and his advice to marry young, and now there are thousands of peoplewith large families on their hands and nothing to eat but New York Ledgers. A doctor and a preacher met on the street the other day and- commenced bandying words about physical prowess. The preacher said one blow from the fist would show the doctor what " blue mass " was. The doctor replied that if the preacher wanted to learn a cheap method of " spreading the gospel " he would advise him to run against his hat. Ulasgow (Mo.) Times. use savant nas discovered that, in fifteen years, we are to radiate radiant matter enough from the earth's surface to make a second moon, and that when these two moons get into operation we shall have no more disease and death. Bat depend on violent measures to de crease tne population, it will cause a deal of trouble in poetry. We shall have to speak correctly, and say, " Roll on silver moons," or, " The moonsea are m the heavens above. " Swear not by the moonses, the inconstant moonses." Destitute Kansas 20,000 People in Need of Aid. Gov. Osborne telegraphs from To- peka, Kansas, to the Chicago Tribune as follows : I estimate the number of people in the western counties of Kansas who will need aid the coming winter at 20,000. A large proportion of these are now in want. The people in the eastern part of the State are doing all in their power to prevent suffering on the frontier, but the extent of the destitu tion warrants the conclusion that they are unequal to the emergency. Flour, potatoes, hominy, and beans, for food. and oiotmng, especially lor women and children, are most needed. Feed for stock is much needed, as also spring wheat, corn, oats, barley, and flax for spring planting. The winter thus far has been a very favorable one, and the prospect for a good crop of wheat is most excellent ; a large increase of acreage has been sown, and if no un foreseen misfortune should occur to this people they will next year be able not only to subsist themselves, but also to assist the unfortunates in other locali ties. Donations sent through the Kan sas Central Relief Committee, of which Lieut.-Gov. Stover is President, and W. W. Giles ' Treasurer, with head quarters at Topeka, will be sure to reach those for whom they are intended, and will be publicly acknowledged. -X'HOS. A. OSBOBXB. 11 ow to Render Clothing on-Inflam- mable.4 A large number of lives are lost every year by the burning of the clothing of women and cnuaren, and many disas trous fires result from the igniting of bed clothing, curtains and other light fabrics made entirely or partially of cotton or silk. A simple expedient which would render such materials non- inflammable would prove invaluable to every household. Many experiments have been made with various combina tions of chemicals, but none have been entirely successful. More than a dozen years ago there appeared in a London cnemicai louau a xormuia lor a solu tion which it is said can be used by mixing it with the starch for fabrios which are laundried, and can also be used for other fabrics, and without in jury to texture or color in any ease. This formula has been recently repub- , -1 J3 1 XI. T . . . . . uaiieu wjr uis -insurance juontior, and is as follows: .-i-'::':- " T prepare a solution of mininm strength a concentrated solution of tungstate of soda is diluted with water to twenty degrees Tralles. and then mixed with three per cent, of phosphate of soda." ; T , We should be glad to know the re- suits oi experiments with this prepara tion. The Troubles Entailed by Absent-Mind e dues s. Sprugle has an old white horse, which he drives down to the store every mom ing and leaves hitched in front until night. He drove down the other morn ing as usual, and, after hitching the horse, went into the store and sat down with hi a back toward the window, lie had just got into the midst of a discus sion with the new bookkeeper in regard to the state of the finances, when, hap pening to glance out of the window, he saw a man getting into ms buggy. Sprugle grabbed the bookkeeper's hat, ran out, seized the horse by the head, and asked the man sarcastically if he wouldn't please be kind enough to get right out of that buggy. The man gazed at Sprugle a moment and then re marked that, if he did get out, he would make him (Sprugle) wish that he had never been born. "You can't bluff me a cent's worth," said Sprugle ; " I ain't afraid of yoa, and I want you to get out of my buggy." " Your buggy !" said the man, " this is my buggy." " You villainous thief !" shouted Spru gle, "I don't see how you can sit there in my buggy, and call it your own." Then the man in the buggy grabbed the whip, and, springing out-over the dash-board, seized Sprugle by the hair and wiped up tne pavement witn mm, and drew an outline-map of the United States on his legs with the whip. He stepped into the bookkeeper's hat, and, giving Sprugle a parting kick, started for the buggy. Thinking that he really meant to steal the horse, Sprugle com menced to shout " Stop thief !" Then the man turned around, and, measuring the distanoe between himself and Spru gle with his eye, threw off his hat and started for Sprugle on a dead jump. Sprugle b aw him coming and attempt ed to run, but the man caught up with him, and. giving a spring into the air, planted both feet into the small of Sprugle's back, and so sudden was the concussion that it shoved Sprugle right out of his boots, and sent him down street nearly a block. Following after him, the man broKe bis arm with a kick, and wound up by breaking his nose with the whipstock. Then he got into the buggy and drove off. i sprugle picfced nimseix up. and. noid- lng his hand on his nose, started for the store, when he ran against his own buggy, and got kicked by his horse, which stood just where he had left him hitched. When he drove home that night he wore his own hat for the first, time in- many months, and on the way counted over forty white horses, and thought what a fool he must have been not to remember that there were a great many horses of the same color. CAt- cago urtoune. " Nary Red." As the old "red cent" has now passed out of use, and, except rarely, out of sight, like the "old oaken bucket," its history is a matter of important interest for preservation. The cent was first proposed by it o Bert Morris, the great financier of the Revo lution, and was named by Jefferson two years after. It began to make its ap pearance from tbe Mint in liri it bore the head of Washington on one side, and thirteen links on the other. The French Revolution soon created a rage for French ideas in America, which put on the cent, instead of the head of Washington, the head of the Goddess of Liberty a French Liberty, with neck thrust forward and flowing locks. The chain on the reverse side was displaced by the olive wreath of peace ; but the French liberty was short-lived and so was the portrait on our cent. The next head or figure that succeeded this the staid, classic dame with a fillet around her head came into fashion about thirty or forty years ago. and her finely-chiseled Grecian features have been but slightly altered by the lapse of time. Philadelphia Ledger. sandwiches. Kalakaua chews. 1 Kalakaua wears number eight boots. Kalakaua occasionally drops into po etry. - Kalakaua plays a very good game of billiards. Kalakaua has a bad cough like all the rest of us. Kalakaua's old acquaintances are turning up in all parts of the country. .Kalakaua was never drunk out once in his life, and tnat was at a firemen's celebration. Kalakaua is nothing but a poor be nighted Kanaka, but the Washington officials hadn t better try to teacn mm anything in " draw." They might find it expensive. here cornea a aonnd fron Washington That well mav alienee vulgar aconing ; It'a Kalakana'a stern, deep tone ; Take heed," aaya ne, - mat a metnai a cougn in. Mormon Polygamy. A Mormon paper at Salt Lake places the number of polygamiets in the Ter ritory at 1,000 men, 8,000 women, and 9,000 children, and the cost and joes, bv legal punisnment oi au, at x-a.uuu,- 000, and thinks that the courts would have around them d.ooo crying women and 9,000 crying children. This is probably a pretty accurate computa tion. One of the beauties of tbe polyg amous system is snown by tne state ment that witun a stone s throw of a prominent, church in Salt Lake is the residence of an aged Mormen, who is the husband of a woman and her two daughters. Thus, his first wife is his mother-in-law, his step-daughters are his wives, his son by his first wife' is half-brother to his other wives, and a sort of uncle to his other children, etc., etc, etc Shipbuilding In Kaioe. The Portland Press has prepared an exhibit of the amount of tonnage built in Maine during the year 1874, from which it appears that the wnoie numper of vessels built and , registered during the year as far as reported is : Ships, 15 ; barkentines, 11 ; barks, zs; brigs, 13 : schooners . 104 : steamers. 5 : tugs, 4 : other vessels. 7 : total tonnage of same, 75,533 tons. Number of vessels reoiatered- tmiit and bull dine, and to be completed within the year : Ships, 1-9 ; barkentines, 12 ; barks, 33 ; brigs, 15 : schooners, lis : steamers, o : tugs, 4 ; other vessels, 13 ; aggregate tonnage of same, 90,621. - V Joseph Dodp, recently deoeased, was in tne mnlov of the New York post- office over sixty years. When he com menced service as mail messenger the matter for the Southern and Western Rtja wo M-awdml into the compass Of a single bag, and Btarted by ooaoh from Jersey City., By economy and a strict attention to business he was enabled .Anrinflr his long service to increase the riiatrirratton to its present magnmceua proportions. It is an example of what fnT be accomplished by a single man when he brings close industry and un swerving integrity to bear in a single direction.;. Bostoh proposes a convention of bald men, to be held next month. Probably to revive tne oid wig party. Packing Statistics. The Chicago Commercial Bulletin. publishes the following tables of pack ing at the points named to date, as com pared with the corresponding time last year and the aggregate last season : " Aggregate To aau, 1874. To date. 1873. 990,284 183,000 486 000 226,947 325,000 11X1,000 1873-4. 1,6'J0,024 294, 064 (581,25 226,947 Chicago. . 935,663 Milwaukee 186,182 Cincinnati ...828,265 Louisville 270,000 St. Louis 285,000 Indianapolis 236,000 CA.t Ranida 30.800 87,000 72,810 The following table exniDirs tne stocks of pork and lard in tke principal cities of the West. We have obtained. the information from -reliable parties,. and consider them substantially cor rect : Pork, brl Lara, Chicaao . 129.680 43,85t Cincinnati 23,583 , 9,94s. St. Louta 20.000 l,oo Louisville-. 91.000 93,000 Milwaukee , 10,000 6,000- Indianapolis 10,0tl0 Total 204,133 107.798 At Indianapolis, the packing of pork has been limited and the stock is ex hausted. At Louisville, the manufact ure of sides was engaged in to a greater extent, which accounts for the moderate supply compared with the in creased packing. The stock reported at St. Louis consists of about 5,000 brls standard " and 15,000 brls " hard- side " and M. O. pork. The lard in. Cincinnati includes kettled. The stock, of lard held by the refiners is not in cluded. All Aboat a New Shirt. v There is a superstition that the pre sentation of a knife without any equiv alent wnatever will cut friendship There is a fact lately come to light, in at, small town where there is a great deak of primitive simplicity, that the present ation oi a suits by a- woman so the man she wants to marry will cut the heart;, out of love. One young girl tried it and made her lover a glistening white shirt with her own pretty hands. He retired to his boarding-house, put it on. and went straitghtway to see and make- love to another girl. Clad ' in a clean shirt he felt above the seam stress who bad msde it, and she lost his coveted company. She did not- sis down and wnine over the linen that had gone astray, but took a pistol- in her delicate hands and tripped her way to the boarding-house aforesaid. She met the unsuspecting rover, and pre senting the pistol, told him to take off. . that shirt. He hesitated and was losi He saw desperation in those eyes and death in the- pistol. He peeled ands handed her the soiled garment, which, she took on the point of her pistol audi poked into the stove. And the flaxae-? died out and her love went up the chim ney with the smoke He sought the secrecy of his chamber to mourn oves the depletion of his wardrobe, and she.. cocked and primed, went off for another -lover. &t. Louis Republican. The Bear in Winter. A writer in the Popular Science: Monthly says : " One of the most curi ous characteristics of the bear is its habit of hibernating through the winter During the autumn it becomes very fat,.. and about the end of October, eoniplet ing its winter house, ceases feeding for - the year. A remarkable phenomenon then takes plaee in the animal's digest- -. ive organs. The stomach, no longer - supplied with food, contracts into a very small space A mechanical obstruction . called tho 'tappen,' composed of fine leaves or other extraneous substances, blocks the alimentary canal and prevents the outward passage of any matter. The bear continues in its den until the mid dle of April, in adull, lethargic condition. . If discovered and killed at any time in this period, it is found to be as fat as . at the beginning. It is said, however. . that if it loses the 'tappen' before the -end of its liberation, it immediately be comes extremely thin. During the- hibernation the bear gains a new skin-, upon the balli of its feet, and during? the same time also the female bringe forth her young, from two to four in number. The latter act occurs general ly from the middle of J anuary to the-" middle of February. The pairing sea son occurs in the summer, from Jine- to September. The period of gestation: is about seven months, and tbe newly born cubs are scarcely larger than puppies." Tbe Irish-Speaking Population ot Ire land, In 1871 the entire Irish-speaking pop ulation of the sister island numbered only 817,805. The percentages, ac cording to the total population in. the different provinces. Were these: In Leinster, 1.2; in MunBter, 27.7; in Ulster, 4.6 ; and in Connaught. 39.0 . for the total of Ireland, 15.1. Kilkenny and Louth are the counties of Leinster - where the language is most spoken. In . Munster, they are Kerry, Clare, and. Waterford ; in Ulster, Donegal, where 28 per cent, of the population speak - xxibju. nut in (joauauKut iure is no less than 56 per cent, of Irish-speaking, popula-ion. In the counties of Mayo and Ualway respectively, great many people cannot speak English. . Lobsteb CpuTUAB. In June, 1S73" 100 large female lobsters with eggw ere sent from the Eastern States to the Pacific coast, for the purpose of at tempting their colonization in the Bay of San rancisoo. . oeven loDsters sur vived the journey, and were cast Into the bay. , Lately fifteen or twenty young lobBters have been caugnt by a (Jiubese fisherman while throwing hia net for shrimps ! which shows that the attempt at stociuug un uj wiiu uio muster is. likely to prove successful. It is not conducive to placid eniov ment in a barber's chair to read of Juan Visalia's exploits in San Francisco.. He was shaving a customer, when it was -notioed that he was hunting for some particular . spot in the man's neck, when asked what he was doing,' he said, he wanted to find the jugular vein, be cause he didn't want to make a deeper gtuui uuiu waui uoujuMtiy necessary to produce death. He had become insane. - Al - . - A 1 - , Miss , Wmmrar's statue of Samue- i ji . . A w A i i - .i Washington, has been completed at Boston in plaster, and will be shipped I to Rome to be copied in marble Tbb fisheries on the coast of Scot land during the past season have vieldcrf more than eight hundred millions of herrings, affording, an unusually good harvest to the people. Ait increase in the number of divow a. in England is attributed to higher wages. wx pwpie oouiu not previously save enough money to pay lawyers. A qhahb ram down in Texas has re ported grand juries in general to be a. humbug and a nuisance, and'-wants to have them abolished. Abtificiax. butter-makinsp Wn proved a success. The difficulty lies in natural. haix 00 that they look.