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About The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18?? | View Entire Issue (Jan. 19, 1872)
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L , '
ri ni.iKHF.il KVruv hatwuiAV.
By COLL. v:j CURVE,
I.W REGISTER 13UHDIW03,
Firtl S r - to.
ill ml aSvorilw in
W ; ca'll
I liii ni
Ion tl. UW
I mi ill" nin
ti Miittw rflSt'r.t
r.ii raeeivo i now iyo.e
l:s c.iris, a ir.ion jni -.
ir-ci toexn. ! H ktMftot "prmu
t'iV-iicr inaneer, 'jOl'l','1'
than ever iBSl bll5rel ni ibis
As it Cor i? Bi'lrter.
i-.i nr? jnllioriiw
1 1. 1
poller, Slut I i swmion.
.t ft WefH. M-.n'un Istn, rK i
D. I?. 51. !..
I , jlrln nii5 Snr? on. Alhim.V Or.
I'S OS TaKWTIf MK w MAI
ov 1IASI) AS1 CuSHTA.NTI.Y
Urofi'rt s and frfnarto"
1 V""v; ,'1,r''- lOUfSCOi lH8ra
1015'. YanUvv ntiiiini', Oliv, 't'..
hi' I iv'nli. irtwwitr !(' BUI A
r rutvjuuujr UMisI
j. ii. m it ilrix. tt
r loM.in ii iim.
liflfce avci' Ilio oltl
, Portland. Oregon.
Allornrjn ami i:iilr n I.w,
Nil ?(UC1T0J!S IN CIIAM'l.in (I..
Kllnn noIUi'j'pii iilf), Ainusjy, prescon.
tenJu'Hn. j 1
h 'l. ri: V K. B. m-MfpEEY.
otai j Paoflc.
K.OIl & ElttJ.nPKHEV,
Ainri-)s )tl t'ouuKfllon n I.nw,
O.Ucc in Ptttttoli brick, up-s'iilrs. 5vl
OUO W. CiliAV, 1. I. S.,
i UAllCATK i iF CtXOIS
eali lunuul L'olee, fi'.w'
,Nel' 1VI? . r, ' lilt- liyi .-f
lm,.;..l 7' .-,li. lltsi, it.lM ai.i. VJXHJ
Min is In the line of liis w4iwMiNi in the
ftfc'iest and most unproved met laid, itifd a' us
rensoliaMC inlcs as can li had e.wwlK'l'e.
X ilrmi. ili le n iiiiinl-;leic.l lor Ilio nin
l"ss exiiacl Ion el leelli if do divl. i laico.in
rarristi brick blootc up s'liiiN. Kesldoiiec
Ursi Ikiiisc soul lull I iiujwantionalcliiiivli,
finntliijt on coiiii bonne bloek. JiJ-la
" w7 7ic. ks7 mTd.,
II OMEOF ATH 10 PHTSHIAN.
OFFICE (IX FIRST STREET, (iNEdoor
west ol lima telblll, in Itarkliart's two
fini'v Uriels :ii)i sialis', nveriJi'O. 't'ni'i'ell's
ulnro. RnnlOHNefc 4'0l'net 8illinwl Fer
ry stivels, AtUniy, Oregon. i lii-"l
IiEFFKl. A HVS3BS'
And (ienernl 71111 Mnrltincry.
.1. F. IIAt KENsm. Ajient.
Sir! Albany, Ore;on.
20 DOIiIiAKH !i DAY
TO MALE AND FEMALE ACENTS.
To Intro lute llieeelelirute l
Ilil'kf icuifi;; jilai'lahll'.
yriTCH ALIKE ON BOTH SHIES. ANii
1. 1 he ol' ultttitle rcwIiiij uifti'hine in ihe
I 'iillel siaieilleeir"! lo use tbooohibnited
Wilson foe I sold for less ihm, o, and nek
nowlir.brijsl by all to lie the busi family sew
in machine, for linht or heavy wwfng, in
t lie market . On: III five. Address
MIXER A PEARSON. Hen. AgtL.
Sm3lf Allmny, Imijon.
AS.KAVV BOOK STORfi.
E.tafal'sli i n ifsse.
K. A. Frct'litiid.
IN BVKHY VARUtTY (IF
I miscellaneous books, k-IksiI Ijnoks,
blunk IkxiIis, stailonerv
o or.ler at short notice.
Albany, Hoc .1. WO.
TUBNIAG - TURNING.
I AM PREPARED TO DO ALL KINDS
of turnhnr: keeiion hnnil .mil mnkr. tn
nnlfir niwldikvlmitonit'd chairs, mid upln-
c,ni., im-s..- i nc -nitwnoiia
Albany, Nor. 8, lsrts-1
Jtlllfl M. METZI.EIC
III SiXKSS UAHIiS.
A XI! --
i:i."!:ivkd snsJErr TO
i' 1 imtmioiloTSui
fill sa'o lit Kt'A
v. Kfffissrr, itei
'Re-Tin's in II.
W.S 1.1! I I.
il lilkirie hull
i t p. m.
Alijitny, Pu'f). l, 1
MOWnOK & STAIC1KB,
l vnliM'-i In
ilonnmeBt Omisfcs, Tombs,
Hvad and Tool Stones,
.! . lilt'.
I.A?.1I KI AT AJ.r.lAY.
Boots, Shoo, and Finding
I TSVITK THE ATTKSTWN OF THE
: i puol!u tollielr lull Muck of l lie lattoi
(itylo!) in Kcnttomuu'S lunl yonHi' boot!),
! Shu"". suHW.O.ftN' 1 1 leu, etc , We., n VWlU
astoiho vory Ifl'oHl tiling out In tho lino
im Mies' nu'j niMv- KHllofK, Njliuoml.".
i Ni'.vpo:-; lltH, Aiiloinefe huslcitifl, iml
i many oilwr new uivl fasbumnOle iylti,
! ihi it oivn 1 t tlw OB Bo'il S.iiiw, wlili Ji
: iliiv v. ill will us rapidly as they tail llnd
piuvluisers ho wlsli liralliii gcu Is at
Hi- mot itiajmnfilile tatos. 'I'liey rcanoul:
fullv Invito "OU to ttiine nirl ft) ilir
sttiek. HikiV, Bliobi,otf., ina lertr roj-mlreil
to order, and till in rk warrunSttl.
! CITY li.iUT STOlllS, I IUST STREET,
tii nt door Wml of Keirlut rBtOJr.
(IT V .Al A I! K ET,
l !R."T VIKKKT, AI.MAXV, ORrXiOIii,
II.I. BSl'EAVOR TH KEEP CON
siantly on liund a fall wipply of
AI.I. KIMIS ov nr.Aw,
Wliluli will ! of Hie very IhI nnall!
The !iifBol niorket lrice Raid for 0oe-.
hoifs ani sbeep.
Third iliKirvest of Ferry, on Miulli
of First si root. J. L. IIARlilS
Albany, Dee. Ii. Hit-livl
J. C. NKXBFiKUALL,
KKAI. ESTATE A IMTtl'E Ai;t:M,
IX, tor nou-ivd tents an 1 others, maliiiis
out real estate imperii, ote.
Mi,, -one ilner
awvo tel.-fniiili ollieo. sva
Albany CollCfftate Instiliifc.
rnBttS INSTITUTION Wil !. KEul'EN ON
1 Monday, sepieniiior 4. IS71, with n corps
of teachers cattab'e anil earnesi. his! na
tion bo tlioroiVtb and iinictionl. And
the sysiotit of order un.-iiiiiias.-e I. Foipnr
tloularsuddivss It. K. WARRKN, A. M.. Prosl lent :
Or, Rev. E. B, HEART, l. Al'a;i) i
The Kjes! The Hum! '
Ornllsl mill Ami.! AilNtwy, Oregon.
Dlt. uol.HEX Jis .v.
son of lite iiolorf
I old onlhalmle uoctor
i S. ('. ilolilen.
llr. (isilden has had
I exiVrlenoe hi tinitinjt
1 Hie 'a rions iliseasi-s to
-bich the eye and ear are subject, ani feels
eonnileai ot Klvinn entire sat Wt.ct Ion to I
.I.,.-,..,. .r.. .....I...,
care, ' April 18, 09.
DR. K. O. SMITH, DBNTlftT,
HAS LOCATED IN A I,
lnv, and is now rca lv
lo wall on the I'ttbU'llS of i
invention in denial wort., ft consists In
Hiinportlnx tho plain to tho mouth ndlhotit
eoverlna ihe whole mnf, tjut heretolore.
TJhmc wishing an lib Ijil teeih are reuai'iu
ed to call and oxnmfno for themselves.
Also, plntos mended, whether litirllallv
broken ordivlded. TVotli.exImete l willi
out pain. Offleo over Turrell's store. All
work warranted. 7v4
M. WADSWORTn will give promiil
IllteiU on tn nil ...,i,,. c... i..,-!..
Sillis", Caleeiilliilnif. Ili.,.t-,.i ii... In
this tlly or vMillhr, All work ciwiile.l
In Hie latest stvlo. In tin. ...,,i
at kityost llylaa rales. (WrOrderti left at
runiitiirc WnronHiinsofCluu). Mcalovwill
receive prompt atUmtlon. fovl
ALBANY, ORKUON', JAM'AKY 19, 1872.
riNIIIIAMT'lN, I.A'IKI.V. A Fnltpn
:,l iikt-i man foilud nut, "Wlmt I Know
Aland lStrifilft"' in tlii tvi-o:
Mill I.e. "Itili:! ilo'Vou know the
I'cst way to rniw imtaioe.s"
Siys '. -i do.''
;-'ays lie, How."
i " Why." says I, "jjritb lioM of the
lopn wnfi both hiii.iN and pull "eni
tiaj Ii, . "(.'n t,i erasI."
Sfcl vturtcd jmiMi 'and Tin (w
on a trip ovel' the Ki'le Hallway. It'!
.i Hi6il trtlio tn JfO on a r.illiuf. The
ii'i'i'i kw nil tlUrohtdi ninitho leaves
arn llirQiigfi.l lii4iliig Riitl tuinliig ail j
e lint's. What la -I Spriu u.t- a lainU-t
I-notv a iniilfpiili t. 'Green puis ha vu
tttnffril to idiot, iim) so forth.
The; lir-l thing I did at'lvr jtWtttg!
i;iin the ittiii) tvas u try mid fnakti inv
spjf iujit'1 aire.' 't'he uttmnpt proved a (
laitlrW. J.saw a fellow with a UflcifV
iige tllijl "TOltlfl: and rtqttn to bim :
: 'iJavc a e Hue t"
I "tiaine of wlnt."rrlij be. !
, "Sevii-up," aid I.
There i-n'l so inrtell biltenifss In :i
l ton of boiled aloe, as thei'U was in t Ik:
' t -xpivjsioii of that fellow's fatv. In-1
iten-e tttohi and ma! lenity strtifts'itl ;
! to liie ni t very a-i he ytlk'd out, "No,
i sir : I'm a inini-ter."
I Well." said J, "yiai nwdn't gctj
Iliad. Nofcody .c-vcr Woo! d believe it
llllle-s VOII toNI 'till so."
Then I told liini oueloier mspeetion
he il!d look like a nihil iter a.iniei-ter !
peiliteiitiai'Ji am! I a.dvedh'un what lie j
w.i- dot Hi; willi thoe o&vtU'
lie said Ibey were not cards they j
wi iv b.'ank tU'kaU for the titmiiaj--
Tljt'n I tltld, "What might yrur
name l e?"
lie said, ''Barnes.-'
Then I said, with a smile, " Thcrfi 1
are loN of lurns all over the C0Ufttl'j
'I n tills ilaj he has never answered
that ipiestioii. lb' moved into another
liaek of lee sat a litlie buy. lie
had a half ticket. The eo'.itllietor
pinaliiil it. I said tn him. "Is that
hov ouiimd to have a whole ticket
i ravel on tin-'- train I-"'
He said. "No."
"Well,'" said i. 'he ha; got one.'
"He hain't" said he.
" I'll bet you." said I. Ml w a
half ticket until yon punched it ; that
made it a hole one."
He Intimated he would punch me;
so wo didn't continue to converse.
I moved over next to a fellow who
was devoid of no. e. "Ahem," said 1
"c.i-c of mayhem?" '
"No." sail hi', "ruvdorg chewed it
off last .Inly."
"Ah I" .-'aid I, ''not nnyheni, but
.lulyl.e n, eh ?"
" Ik- yon from York?" said he.
"I ani." said I.
"llo y,.u know smith?" said he.
"Smith," said I, "what Smith?"
" No, not Watt Sftvitli, but Mister
Smith ; he keep; a store down there."
..He was very much surprised when I
told liiin " I bid never lieanl of him."
"Hewer of water and chopper of
gra," 1 exclaimed, "what is your
1 .1. -.-I 1,1 11.' 1,11,1, .
Willi miller." said I.
i. v.. .-.,;,i I,., .. i . o
n.. . ..:.i l,., , ...in...
well regulated, Chndiau saw-mill
"Ah." said I. "you are a niillcrirc.
then.'1 Jllittlieii I made some fur
ther remarks, l observed (he coun
try looked line. 1 didn't exactly know
how the country ought to look to look
line, but I bit it light, for lie said
"Yes," and he said we were passing
through a dairy country.
"Do they rim trains nights through
a dairy country." 1 asked, sweetly.
He said yes and said (bey made
mighty good cheese in that section. I
relatiil 10 mm now "I until t like
inite-y gtKHl cheese :" then 1 told him
"t ruth was nuglily and would prevail,
and cheese was mile-y and that was
prevailing to considerable extent,
'Then we stopped for grub, and I
can swear that I saw a man sell slices
sawed off a policeman's club for
Bologna sausage arid Sandwiches, and
I was served lo a piece of Ihe steak
I old .lohn Rogers was burned at. and it
j w.as burned ten per eeidt. Worse than
; he was, ,iiu tougher than a parboiled
pumphaiidlcou toast. The proprietor
asked me if I had been served? I
i lold him yes i had been served darned
! When I got into the car again the
Millerite observed, "the pen Is might
j Icr than the sword," I told bim that
, wasn t the case wan a hog pen. Then
we commenced about the grass erop.
He said bo was much troubled with
ground-hogs. "So am I," paid I;
"where I boaiil we am annoyed to
.i. -ni. on .,ii bi
i"'"" ,! "linn.
",) said ho "do you have
groiinu-iiogs in lurix?
' "Yes," said I, "Jots of 'em ; we
call them sassniros."
, For the spa oe of Ave mluutes he
bowed his bead mid vreit.
As soon as lie got through weeping
I told him 1 had recently, visited New
llnglaini. and how proliiic every thing
y.as up there, and I observed to hltn
how for miles along the side of the
railroads tiki telegraph poles bad
sprouted and wcie bearing apples,
ipiinces, musk-melons, huckleberries
"No I" .-aid he.
"Yes," said I.
Then lie rose and said, "Wash I
thought you was dead."
My name Is not Wash," said 1.
"Excuse me, sir," said he, "1 call
ed you Wash because you remind me
SO strongly of Ueorge Washington
who did it viii his h iteh( t Ui man
Who never told a lie."
Says . "ii s nek yqtl alut a atemn
if you were ,i would kill von. sir. and
let your family go a li.'aekdmn hj' ih
Thrn he wenl Into (be next car
where, Hie mtiil br went, tlien Ilio can
dinned live whmtm, and I luiii a
-lignt iillerealina Willi a silomi clinp.
lie sold awful .-mall jiieees of pie for
ten ei'ilts a lileee. and I asked him if
i In- wmil4l ij three piece' I'iraipiailer.
ne sun no
Siys I, "by gosli you dodo it."
lleswoiv he tlitlii't. Then I told
him he didthat, there were throe,
piece; to every ipiarUT of pie on his
counter, and that w.i three pieces fur
a iiiarUr '
lie set i a pure while biacU-ainbUn
terrior at me, bill he was sq eiisn il
lazy hefiii-Mie onuMojien hi.: Utoittfl to
bile, t WMftlli botuil the ears a-jilii'.
IjUi Hern tire at ;infihainton. at
.v 'li. n I ...in .... ..... .-.
i:r.r' ' w.
liifnv liavl, von I tWWW WMWM
("i.iuiidruni. Hliy ii a railroad irave
m like a mil lie teaeiier? Befaiite bo
1- always nealmg willi Ihti and sharps.
Klillfill w is ha.iged in Hh.ghnmlun.
The Inebriate Asylum ii in Eliijjlmin
lou. " While thefe h life there is
hope." Still tvatolilesi hut on time.
A laic Kistern paper Cbtitillia
following iudicroii; narnitive :
Some years ago, when tho writer
was a reporter upon an 'eastern paper,
it devolved upon him to w rite for the
same edition tin neeonrit of the frfwefr
tation of a gold-headed cane to the
Pfir Tli. Miiiiii-.t (llri inn'i,iii .sl'.lirt
...... i .I'll.,",-....
n. ii e, a all Hie lie-l I I It lo,l HI a liaieill
Mill 1 .1.:..'. ......
liiiu'ivtiiiuu aii.i -Niu-.ii;t ii.ae.iiiie. inai
bad lieeu put in o;ier.if ion .'it tin; f.ic
j tory. X'ow. what made lljr, Mndge
I mad was fill ;, The inconsiderate bik'
caueer who Hilda iiji tR forms got the
I two locals inixti! uj in a frightful man
! ner. and when we went to press some
thing like this was the appalling rc-
"Several of the Kev. Dr. Madge's
i friends ealled upon hi in yesterday, and
after il brief conversation the li;isll-
riecting liog waj seized by the bird
i leg; and slid along a beam, until he
reached I he hot wafer tank. His friend
, explained (lie object of. their vLsit, and
prevented lam with a very li.anilsomi
gnid-iieflued tiutewr, vvtiograiweti nun
I liy the t:iilswiing bim round, cut his
throat Ironicar to e ir, mid in less than
I a minute tlie carcass was in the water.
iiierenpo came forward and said
tlicre were times when the feelings
over-po.veivd one, and for that MMW
I he Would not attempt to do more than
thank tim e around him for the puiU-
ner in which so huge an amiuul irSl
cut into so iniiiiv fragments was m&Vf "TT ' 1 " "T ".
... . . ... ili.rm-i,.1.irl ti. iiill..i .:mi,,. rui,!.iiu In
i wiV astonishing. 1 he tloctor concluded
hlis remarks, when the machine seized
him, and in less time ll.au if takes to
i ...nv.4 h.- ! . i.i t,ii,iv.,.....,iJ
! and worked iniinto delicious saW. I
The occasion will long be remembered ;
' by tiie doctor's friends as one of the j
i nio t delightful of their lives. The j
I In;-t nieces can bo obtained forlSeonts
I a pomid, and we are sure that those
, 1 . I I 'I
! wl '"V . .'I'0 '"''S Th? V '"U";"
try wi.lliiouv that he has been so
Mad? (Veil, about nine o'clock (hat
morning that ollitv bad becuabandon
cf? by every mill but the adveilising
clerk, and lie ascended to the root and
robed himself in boiler iron, so that he
could hatch the venerable clergyman
tearing round down there in the street,
with his congregation, all wearing Ihe
jsmoply of (.ill-, and carrying butcher
knives and things. Tlie next day wo
I explained an apologized, but the doe-
tor Mopped im subscription ami beg an
to take the rival paper.
A New Kixn ok Wall. A wall,
lately invented, is coming into use in
Kngiaud, the advantages claimed for
which are the very Important ones of
the lion-absorbeney of moisture, nou
eomlncHon olTeaf. economy of space,
a waaluible surCiee, and withal eheap-
ness. Overa finmeworksifstrongcrnss
wires, of altout onc-eiglitli ot an inch
thick, there 1 1 woven by a powerful
prei-iire, fibrous matter, w hich is sat
urate with a solution that render, it
lire-proof, it is then subjected to a
very powerful presstira. A coating
of light Scoti's cement is then pui u
on it for inside facing, and Portland
cement for outside facing. By tliis
iiicans surliici s are made Impermea
ble lo moisture, smooth, and easily
washed with water, thus saving the
expense of repeated lime-washing;.
It i; fumed into .-lah; in Iron frames.
which are put together and closely
and secmvlv fasteiusl with bolls. The
slabs art: f'om one and a half to four
inches thick. They are found to serve !
as superb panneling for dividing walls j
and partitions. here the space Is of,
itiiimrtanee. Ithas the advantage, per-,
haps over concrete walling, in ena- j
Whig a wall to lie of not more than I
one and a half or two inches of thick-1
ness, and vet its quality is said to great-
lv deaden sound.
The Chinese, it is said, celebrate all
their holidays by paying their debts,
forgiving all tlieir enemies, and shak
ing hands all around. So that in one
respect, at least, the "Heathen Chi
nee" lias one excellent custom very
conformable indeed to Christian prin
ciples. Let ns hops' thai this salutary
principle may be generally adopted.
It is worthy of a carnival to celebrate
Stlioolboys hear with pleasure of ,
ffic decline in whaling business. '
of n Kmj;.,
(INK OF Tl'lK iaHlAMi-s QT THE WAR.
Iii tho year 18111, a young man.
then nvlilg n few miies fi'oui this eily.
went Into' the Missoui'l Nf.ifo (Jiiard in
a soldier. AtKpiltiKflold, and on (lie
re-oijrrt n J zii (Ion of thls.bramh of the
army, lie took service as ,-i (..VjiifedeMte.
Afterwards he joined n company in
('oliineiT'p. Hays' reniiiient, and par-
TiirtHftrt in thPlmftle .oiro .Im.
KrotiK i i AVtxn noilK,
However, his mother Wye him an old
fiidiioneihjiiiMl ring, wjiieli had a heart
upon it, and the letters " K. S. en
graved upuii l!il;l,ei!il. She placed it
on Iier son's hand witii a wish or rather
it prayer, that he might n'uthroii';h (he
war safely, and gel fUViy Ixlck to his
home again. Il ii mil: known llt
either the ring cir the r.nyer aettid as
a hariu, Lill the you!,;:, limji went n:i-
, iiarineii inr,
ii irineii inroie.ii in iiiv WOOdV l ir its.
- riBRMt in l.m on,. oMu.'wi, tin' wofmd'
in irh, tii young man win
vn.v mi 'k hf a i r.vi:i:
At OIarltvil'e. Texas. During the
delirium attendant upon 'It, ami w hile
be was tossing lo and fro, the ring
sMpiiod from his linger and was lost'.
The closed .search failed to lini'h. and
it was given up for good. There
wailed upon I he young man, 'however,
averypivtiy and amiable girl, who
seemed lo he sorry when lie got well
enough to rejoin his command. When
be left he laughingly told her tint if
t'he would find his ring, and lie livid,
lie would ("inie hack ;.d marry her.
If this promise was uaele at (lint with
any degree nf sincerity, it would soon
be forgotten in the excitement and
care of a RsMicrV life, and oulv at
pernaps, did he recall
riiijin and the ininlsterbie
Will ;.X 'I MF. WAH WAS (IVJii
Tlie ynitug man returned, lo hli fiitlt-
er's farm in .Jackson county and went
to work in good eariie.'d. Two. years
i ago bh litotlier died, and ouca more
j the loss of the ring came back to him
' with redotiblid soirnw. He deter-.
: mined to write to the lady ho had
nursed him. and to in piire 6f Iier
I win dier she was married or not, and
whether she had ever seen or hoard
anything, of the present ids mother
had untile hhii. The letter was writ
ten in Align d. Is 19, and, in March,
isiu, wiiiit was iih surprise to receive
; an answer irom
juk iddntk aj. (illit.
L. ,c., . ', ,
! Uhu vtt M8B g to, k
: &4 u.ad' a l.?ht pi-o..,.se m mari'iage.
W.f'U - mthUiiU ?it-
I H -),it M mnKer
: mff W ,e Wl,f'
LMre 1,1 U,H ruf-
ff'ffift'W as tollows j
i . . , .'" "r" e""
j $ HH
ffiM S f 'T, "" r?,n
I which (he soldier had been sick. After
M ''i'ig away
some rilDbiSli beneath, the workmen
came upon Ihe ring. It had slipped
through a crack in the floor, and had
been lying there, safe and found, for
nearly live long years.
Tin: LADY TOOK POSSESSION Of IT
At once, and wrote immediately to
its owner, as we have ftatcd above.
Perhaps she looked upon its recover)'
as an omen, and perhaps it was. At
any nib1 It was a little- romantic, with
all its ittf lifting circumstances. The
eojTCSpondenee thus commenced, or
ratlier renewed, was eonlunied with
an ever increa-ing ardor on tlie part uf
Hie gentleman, imlil in tin: end In
made a new and an Impetuous ofl'er of
marriage. - w itbont tiiat the story
would he Incomplete. I.a.t week,
with money in his pocket, a good home
in .lackson county, and a great lii
piness in his heart, this young soldier
now somewhat older and more set
tled and sedate started for (llarks
ville, Texai, tin; home of his betrothed.
WHO CAN IXH'BT OP Tlir. RESULT ?
lie will remain there probably a month,
and return Hgaili to Missotni willi bis
bride. When be does, no pnanise to
give Ids name. 1'ntil then it is im
possible, for the condition ot secrecy
was attaeliiHi lo i tit iiiKrmauoii otiore
we could obtain It. 'The chvuinstaiice.s.
however, are ju-tas we have narratisl
; (hem in every particular, and furnish
nuottier to the long list of romamic in
cidents that have grown out of the
I A Bei.ioiops Booster. a. man hi
Cayuga, N. Y.. has a-remarkable
Cochin China rooster. He has observ
ed his ma der's practice of family wor
tlllp, and as soon as the Bible is taken
i to lie read before prayer, the rooster
' walks in delllK'nUely and take:? his
I I K i I,.. tl,l, ,,,'ii. nmmM ..r,l.
i . . i,,s . ... ... in in ittm
house, and there remains in a very
quiet and reverend posture (luring the
whole sen-ire. t-eetmng to understand
the won!;, for as soon as "Amen" is
repeated he walks out without noise
mid rejoins bis fiunily of hens. The
children of the family in their out
door plays have the company ol cjuuv
tieleer simply by calling him Cochin.
He allows them to piit their arms
around him and perform, other acts of
The writer of 311 obituary notice of
an estimable lady sa'ul that Hie bereav
ed husband was "hardly able to bear
the demise of Ins wife,'' Imagine Ids
disgust on reading in print that Iier
husband was "hnrdJv able to wear tlie
chemise of his wife."
He becometh poor that dealeth with
a slack hand ; but tlie hand of the Oil
igcut maketh rich.
A tittle boy defliics snoring as li f
Tile Boston 77wu'.s, has dijeovered
that the "passive m!iticians" are
llr i coitiiiis to Hie "masterly hiactivc
iies." Why are washerwoman the silliest
of people? ileoiiiise t.'icy put out
their tuln U catch soil water when.
ItmlfW ha lib
What is the (llft'erence between a
iiiil and a pill ? One is hard to pet
up and tho other is liard to get. down.
Teaclar "Cliarles. what da VOH
know of Napoleon?" t1iarJes-''lie
begins with a big ' and ends with a
Leap year takes its name from (he
lm t that those w ho marry during that
year geneinlly Wnji out of the frying
pan into the lire.
Teacher "J.-rtie Sinitli, wlmt is :w
.fatieSml!h-''A parasol Is n thing
in neep i ucssim on, im'u r.y inutes made
of cotton and w halebone."
Hood .aid he was loread to make
broad grins under narrow circninstui
ces,,'in.l to be a live Hood for a live
lihood. A phy.-ician has iliscovered that l he
iiighlmaiv, lit nine casesoiit of ten, Is
pnpnulkwn owing i bill to tUi
"Whlcb, my dcix lady, do you
think the merriest plate in the world?"
"That immediately above I lie atmos
phere that surrounds tile earth, 1'
should think." "And why so!" "Be
cause I am told that there ail bodies
Ins their gravity."
Hoarding School Mlsa : "Oh, (iiar
ley, I expect to graduate at next com
mencement I" "Graduate! What do.
you expect to graduate in?" "viiv,.
i ni wiiiU! tune."
Men laugh and pretend to lie well
j pleased when women de'sceud to vul
var joke, but in seekiilff wives tli.v
. . . .... ,
WeJtcrn licwsuaner savs: a
child was run over by a w.ignn thresv
years old and crosseyed w ith panta
lets on which never sp ike afterw ards."
That wagon must have been one of
the new fashioned kind.
"What makes your cows so cross?"
said an old lady to the milkman the
otiicrday. "Cro-ji. um'am? They are
the gentlest things in tlie world."
"Well, the milk is always sour," tlie
matron replied -sharply.
A gentleman travetlns homeward
from Atlanta met an old colored man.
011 whose lint was entwined the crape
of grief. The gentleman said. "Yoin
have lost some friend, I see?" "Yes.
massa." "Was it a m ar or distant rel
ative ?" "Well, pretty distant-bout
An old Dutchman, who some veal
ago waa elected as a member of thc
Canadian Legislature, said, in broken
Knglish style : "Vrn I vent to tlie
Lecobiature I tougbt I vould find
dem all Solomons dere, but I soon
found ilea' vas some as pick fools ib-re
as I vas."
Yeomanry prill Drill Sergeant
" Dress up, Mr. Biiinphtis. Yon must
dress up." Mr. BiimniiHs (iudignanb
ly) "Dress 1111: Canfmiml voud run
better dressed than you are I"
A Dutch Justice gives the following
catch to a witness ; "You do awfullv
swore yon will tell tlie truth, the whole
truth, and nothing but the truth, tlie
best w hat you can't."
There is a man in Decorah. Iowa.
so penurious that, when shelling com:
and a kernel flew into the wood-pile,
he removed seven cords of wood to
find It. A neighbor standing by (Imp
lied a kernel near where Hie searcher
was looking, but when he found it lie
said : "You can't fool me with that
small kernel ; the one 1 lost was a
A Nebraska man has Invented' a;
powerful, double-acting salve, whjeh.
shows imwers never exhibited before
by any salve. The inventor accident
ally cut off the tail of a tame wolf, and
immediately after applying some of
tlie salve to tlie stump, a new tail
pvw out. Then picking up (he bill,
he applied some ot tho stive to the raw
end, and a new wolf grew cut; but he
was a wild wolf, and bad to be shot.
An inquisitive youth ot South Bend.
Ind., curious to know What tlie i?niall-.
1kx was like, looked into the window
of the pest house at that place. Now
lie knows how it is himself.
"Do you think raw oysters are
healthy?" a ked.a lady of her phvsl
chns, "So far as 1 know, they are ; 1
never knew one to complain of belli"
out of health," he replied. '
A cockney tourist met With a Scotch
lassie going barefoot toward Glasgow.
"Lassie." said 1C, "I should like to
know if all the people iu this part go
barefooted ?" "Part of 'em do, and:
the rest of em mind their own busi
ness," was tlie rather settling rcply
".Shall J help you to alight ?" safd as
young gentleman to a bouncing coun
try girl, who was preparing to jump
from a wn iage hi front of lite-office.
"Thank you sir"' sweetly replied tlie
girl; "but I don't smoke."
A Kansas man is reported to be suf
fering w itii bytirophobia from his w ife
having bitten him.
Winm a girl marries why do, people
talk ot her choice? In ninety-nine eas
es out of a hundred, has' she any
choice? Does not the man (probably
the last she would have chosen) select
her? The young lady who 'refused.1'
Grant married a Galena brick-layer.
. . . m