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About The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18?? | View Entire Issue (May 1, 1869)
ALBANY, OREGON, SATURDAY, MAY J, 1869.
SATURDAY, MAY 1.
Money. Precious metals as money
ore older than history. Two thousand
.years before Christ, Abraham, the Chal-
dcan shepherd, whose children have j
'never lost their faith, nor his thrift:
through a hundred atnifaurteen frenr- !
5lffluhavel retuit3 from Egypt "very
rich in cattle, in silver and gold." Af
terwards, says the biblical record, "he
bought the cave of Macphelah where his
bones rest beside those of Sarah the wife
of his youth for four hundred sheckels
of silver, current money with the mer
chant." The Catholic has it "common
curreat money." The sheckel was about
sixty cents of our money. It was weigh
ed, not counted, for there were no mints
in those days.
Herodotus asserts that coinage origin
ated with the Lydians. The world's
coin since have been like leaves of autumn.
Most ari extinct, but the British Muse
um preserves more than 120,000 varieties. -The
Paris collection is still greater, and
increased by two or three thousand every
year. Our country has no large public
accumulation, but the cabinet of the
Philadelphia mint contains many worth
studying its medallion memorials of
. Washington number 216; but not one rep
resents him in battle. It embraces many
antique specimens. Jlere are the coin3
which pious ancients placed between the
cold lips of their dead.to pay old Charon
for ferriage over the Styx. Here is that
very image and subscription of Ciesar
which the Judean carpenter pointed out
to the fisherman and tent-makers follow
ing him. Here are faces of rulers and
captains down to our own day, from
Alexander of Macedon,and the mightiest
Julius, who bestrode this, narrow world
like a Colossus.
A Mixture. The following laughable"-mixture-
one concerning a preacher
the other about the freaks of a mad dog
occurred in a paper the other day:
Rev. James Thompson, rector of St.
Andrew's Church, preached to a large
- - P 1 - C 1 1 .
concourse 01 people ou ounuay jast.
This was bis last sermon. In a few weeks
be will bid farewell to his congregation,
as his physician advised him to cross the
Atlantic for his health. He exhorted
his brethren and sisters, and after the
conclusion of a prayer took a whim to
cut up soma frantic freaks. He ran up
Trinity street to the College. At this
stage of the proceedings he was seized
by a couple of boys, who tied a tin kettle
.to- bis tail, and, he again started.- A
great crowd collected, and for a time
'there was a grand scene of running ard
confusion. After a long race he Was
. finally shot by a policeman."
! Stbange Freak op a Man of Gen
ius. A few years ago Laurence Oli
phant, who went to Engtaad as Secretary
of the Japanese mission, made a deep iin-
' pression on the fashionable and political
world by his, brilliant .talents., He .was
c6mparatively unknown,- but in a 1 few
months took all hearts by storm. He
Itfbtaihed a seat in Parliament, moved in
the highest circles of society and was the
universal favorite of the world of fashion.
He once was seen sauntering into the
Travelers'" Club with two men leaning on
hi arms --one His Royal Highness the
Prince of Wales,, the other His Majesty
the King of Denmark ! Such a future
as that" which lay before this handsome,
clever, fascinating young diplomatist, says
an English paper, any man might have
envied. Suddenly, however, Laurence
Oliphant was missed from his place in
! aociety-from " club and 'Hbuse,M' and
opeira. Where be had gone none could
-tell., . Even -his constituents at Stirling
wereanablo to get anj accurate inform a-
tioVconce'rning' him and as Ae- made no
appearance at the recent election, another
man was chosen in his place. He has at
last been discovered, however, in a semi
religious, semi-sociaKstio community at
EroctonV cm the Borders if Lake Erie,
where the sonce idolized star of Belgravia
now Jbllowf the plow and wears home
' General Stoneman has been ordered! to '
the Pacific Coast with his regiment.
Eastern telegrams aw to April 22nd.
The order for the withdrawal of the
British troops from Canada in May next,
is said to be withheld for a while.
The demand by the United States on
the British Government for au explana
tion of J.hc Mary Lovell affair is looked
upon as another speck of war.
Large numbers of French Canadians
are emigrating to the Uuited States.
The annexation question continues to
be agitated with spirit.
The fire in j the mines at Gold Hill,
Nevada, still burns. Great efforts are
being made to extinguish it by the in
jection of steaiii. The fire throws out of
employment about 500 laborers.
San Francisco telegrams are to April
25. j '
Overland telegraph wires still down ;
hence no late eastern news.
The Steamship Japan from Hong
Kong and Yokohama, arrived April 24th,
and reports that civil war has again bro
ken out with j considerable violence in
Japan. No important news from China.
The steamer brought 124 Chinese, of
whom fifty were females.
Mining stocks are reported firm, on
account of developments made in the
Savage mine, j
The town of j You Bet was almost en
tirely destroyed by fire on tho morning
of the 24th. j
The chamber of Commerce is endeav
oring to prevent any changes being made
in the San Francisco Bank Mint.
North Carolina has ratified the suffrage
Robert M. Douglas, son of the late
Senator Douglas, has been appointed as
sistant private secretary to President
Col, Sam. Pike; Sergeant-at-Arms of
the Ohio House of Representatives, has
been connected with 27 different news
. A lady in Lowell, Mass., who has kept
crape on the knob of her house door since
the assassination of President Lincoln,
removed it on the day Grant was inaugu
rated. The Democrats in the Ohio Legislature
have a scheme for redistricting the State,
so as to wipe out the Republicans so far
as possible, and give to the opposition at
least eleven of the nineteen Congressmen.
Gen. Hancock is talked of as the next
Democratic' candidate for Governor of
Pennsylvania the present year, with the
view, in case of i his success, of running
him for President in 1872.
The Louisiana Sugar-growers are pros
perous, and decline to ask for any in
crease in the present duties on that article.
Hence there, is little probability that
Congress will make such a change, to
please the refiners of Philadelphia and
A young gentleman, in a certain busi
ness house, having tarried much longer
at his boarding house than was thought
necessary for the morning meal,wa9 asked
on his return, in a joking way, "what
be had for breakfast?" He replied, can
didly, "a cup of coffee, a mutton chop,
and some mystery!" "Mystery!" said
the employer, "What's that ?" not hav
ing been thoroughly enlightened in all
the "mysteries" of boarding house fare.
"Why," answered the other, "that's
The "local" of a Southern paper thus
introduced a police item : There was a
sound of revelry by night, and Locust
alley had gathered there her beauty and
her chivalry; and bright the gaslight
shone over lost women and fast men ; and
when the music arose with its voluptuous
swell bleared eyes , looked to eyes which
sent, back' blood-shot glances, and all
went merry as a marriage bell, Lizzie
Valentine dressed in boys clothes, rushed
into the alley and was "nabbed" by .a
An American writer says: A woman
will ding to the chosen object of her
heart like an oppossum to a gum tree,
and you can't separate her without snip
ping strings no art can , mend, and leav
ing a portion of her soul on the upper
leather of her affections. She will some
times see something to love where others
see nothing to admire y and when her
fondness is one fastened on a, fellow it
sticks like glue and treacle in a bushy
head of hair. --
The Glorious West. The follow
ing amusing burlesques of the style of
journalism prevalent in the far West
were copied , recently into an English
paper, with severe comments upon the
shocking condition of the Americau bar
barians of the Plains: .
A little bit of romance has just trans
pired to relitve the monotony of our me
tropolitan life. Old Sam Choggins, whom
the editor of this -paper has so often pub
licly thrashed" has returned from Mud
Springs with a youug wife. He is "aid
to be very fond of her, and the way he
got her was ihis : Sometime ago we
courted her, but fiudingshe was on the
make, threw her off, alter shooting her
brother and two cousins. She vowed re
venge, aud promised to marry any man
who would horsewhip us. This, Sam
agreed to undertake, and she married
hi in on that promise. We shall call on
Sam to-morrow with our new shot-gun.
and present our ; congratulations iu our
usual form. Hungtown Gibbet.
A stranger, wearing a stovepipe hat
and a boiled shirt, arrived in town yes
terday, and put up at the Nugget House.
The boys are having a good time with
that hat this morning. The fuueral will
take place at two o'clock. Dog Rancho
is unhealthy for swells. Dog Jianche
A painful accident occurred in Frog
Guich, which has cast a wet blanket of
gloom over a hitherto joyous, whisky
loving community. Dave Spriggcr or,
as he is familiarly called, Murderer Dave
got drunk at his usual hour yesterday,
and, as is his custom, took down his gun
and started after the fellow who went
home with his girl the night before. He
found him at breakfast with his wife and
13 children. After killing them he start
ed out to return, but being weary stum
bled and broke his leg. Dr. Bill found
him in that condition, and having no
wagon at hand to convey him to town,
shot him to put him out of his misery.
Dave was dearly loved by all who knew
him, and his loss is a Democratic gain.
He never disagreed with any but Demo
crats, and would have materially reduced
the vote of that party had he not been so
untimely cut off. -Siskiyou Knock Down.
A child pf Whisky Ben had an alter
cation with the Methodist preacher over
at Michigan Gully last Sunday, and ended
the discussion by caving in his Abolition
head. The boy was presented with a new
revolver by the Cumberland Presbyteri
ans. Stars and Stripes.
The scoundrel who tipped over our
office last month will be hung to-morrow,
and no paper will be issued next day.
Four babies who had been put into the
cage at Hell Shaft, yesterday, while their
mothers played a game of draw, climbed
over the side. We did not learn who
won the last pot. JVigger Hill Patriot.
There is a man in town who claims to
be the man who killed Sheriff White
some months ago. We consider him an
impostor, seeking admission into society
above his level, and we hope people will
stop inviting him to their houses. Frog
How tame Gen. Grant's "Let us have
peace" appears beside this exuberance
of a georgia editor on the morning after
tho Presidential election : " The har
mony is whispered upon the Everglades
of Florida, and watted in fragrance a3
sweet as the orange breath across the
country to where the everlasting snow
crags upon the hills of Oregon stand as
white sentinels frontiering the peace that
is in our country. May they utter tho
word jubilate, and with one accord award
unto the Creator a thanksgiving for the
peace he was vouchsafed us. We have
peace that peace which passcth all un
derstanding." . ,
"Where are, you going ?" said a young
gentleman to an elderly one in a white
cravat, whom he overtook a few miles
from Little Rock. "I am going to heav
en, my, son. I have been on the way
there for eighteen years." "Well, good
bye, old fellow ! If you have been travel
ing toward heaven eighteen years, and
got no nearer to it than Arkansas, I'll
take another route."
Methusaleh did not live so long as he
might have done had he attended to good
advice; for,it isr written that he was sieep-
ins on the ground when well stricken in
years, when an angel came and told him
if a nrmild risA lin nnil Vinilrl Vilmonlf
a house to lie in, he would live five hun
dred years j more. Methusaleh made
take a house for so short a term ! And so
he died before he was thousand years
There are onlv twentv-six missionarip
among all the Indians of our country,
while they number between three and
fonr hundred thousand. i.
The Actor's Stratagem.
theatre-goers of the west
will remember James Wills, a favorite
comedian, well known in that section.
When the Texas excitement was at
fever heat, ha one day found himself in
a condition to which actors are often
subject "dead broke."
While standing1 on the wharf of a
growing city on the Mississippi, With his
solemn visage extended, planning how he
could get down the river without money,
he heard the sound of a drum and fife.
He saw a small party of half-uniformed
soldiers, bearing a Texas banner, and
about to embark for New Orleans. A
thought struck him.
Thejnext day Wills sent his trunk on
board the first boat to start. Then, just
as the baptain struck the bell for the last
time, he stepped on board, dragged his
box ino an unoccupied state-room, took
from his theatrical wardrobe a soldier's
coat with a buff breast and three rows of
buttons, a cocked-hat with 'an immense
plume,a red sash, and a pair of false
whiskers. By tho time the boat got un
derweigh, Jim was fully equipped, with
a stage sword hanging gracefully at his
side. -Drawing on his white gloves, he
hesitatod a moment, but relying on his
own peculiar powers, he opened the door
into the cabin, which was filled with pas
sengers. In an instant all eyes were turned
toward him, but he walked up to the
steamer's bar, and drank a glass of brandy
In the meanwhile all was bustle and
confusion to find out who the officer was.
A geheial rush was made for the reg
ister, but be bad not yet put down his
name. .The captain was consulted, but
did not know anything. At length, how
ever, feeling a little curious 1 imself, he
walked up ' to him, bowed politely, and
"Sir, to you," said Jim, touching his
chctpeau, and saluting a la militaire,
"Will you do me the favor to register
your name, so that I can provide a suit
able state-room for you ?" said the cap
"Oh, with pleasure," responded Jim,
and walking up to the register, he flour
ished in round text :
"Chas. P. Edward3, Major, Texas
The crowd passed around the table ;
they read the name ; universal enthusi-
rasra prevailed, and three tremendous
cheers were given for Texas and liberty.
Jim took off his shako, acknowledged
the compliment with a bow and "a very
few patriotic remarks. j
, It is almost needless to say that from
that time the soidi&ant Major became a
"lion." Every one sought his acquaint
ance. The ladies opened the cabin door
to get a peep at him. He was placed at
the head of the table, and at night was
liberally treated with champagne.
Next day Jim was promenading the
hurricane deck, linked arm-in-arm with
the' captain and a warm southerner, who
resided in Vicksburg. .
"Major," said the southerner, "I know
you have been on a mission to ; collect
arms, ammunition and recruits; but on
this subject you must, of course, keep
mum, in conseqaence of the treaty be
tween Mexico and the United States.
For my part, though, I could see every
yaller-skintted rascal hung like a dog, on
a tree' ' - : V'
"Whatever my business may have
been, I find that I have exhausted ; my
means in the cause. In fact, I fear that
I shall not be able to . pay my passage
until I get to New Orleans," said the
artful Jinx. ,
"Don't mention it," cried the captain.
"I could not for one moment think of
taking anything from y on."
"I have it !" exclaimed the southern
er. "Como along with me."
The trio adjourned to the clerk's office,
where a stirring appeal for aid to Texas
The southern ;; gentleman carried it
among the passengers, and soon collected
a hundred and fifty dollars, which 'was
handed over to Wills. ; ; '
Then a grand supper was given, at
whioh speeches were made a.ndjtQastgwei
drank. The cabin, was decorated with
the flag of the lone star of , Texas, manu
factured for the occasion by the ladies,
out of certain of their red and white gar
ments. . '
At twelve o'clock the company com
menced singing, and at loegth the Major
was called on to favor them. He com?
plied by giving them his favorite song of
'BiyBarl6&";- ' V-
"Bravo !" said one. ''!.
"Excellent!", cried another.
"Capital I" said a third.
t:I coaX do, a deuced sight better,"
said Jim, who was fast approaching the
fourth stage of intoxication, "if V had
the proper togs on."
After giving three faint huzzas for
Texas, the party broke up.
Next morning the clerk went into
Jim's state-room to call him to breakfast.
Imagine his surprise when he discov
ered that the Major had "turned in fall
standing," with his boots, shako and
sword on, and his feet snugly laid upon
the pillow. , He was a Texan Major, and
of course no fault was found.
Thus things went on, and Wills reach
ed New Orleans in triumph. There he
doffed his uniform, and returned to VicJsS
burg, where ho obtained an engagement
ai me tneatre. better to be bored with a i nch orger tbau
utuaixju a great lavorice, anu wnefl-j a o-imblct
he was at the zenith of his jrlory. the
southern gentleman whom he had met on
the boat went one evening to see the
play. ' . ; : " - '
Between the pieces Wills fang "Billy
Barlow." The old southerner was be
wildered. ' , , i ,:?-..
The after-piece came on, and Jim ap
peared in the identical suit in which be
had enacted the Texan Major.
After the play was over the southerner
sought an interview with him.
"You infernal rascal !" said he, , "I
ought to shoot you ; but the trick wa3 so
clever that I , forgive you. So shake
hands ; let's take a driok, and say no
more about it." - , ,
Jim looked at him a moment with a
grave and serious expression of counte
nance, then replied : ;
"One . man in his time plays many
Coubtrhip in Scotland. A "Royal
Commission" has developed some curious
facts with reference to the manner in
which courtship is carried on among the
Scotch peasants. For a young man to
call on a young woman , in the daytime,
or to talk with her in the presence of
other people, even though they may be
her nearest relatives, is a grave offense
against the conventionalities. The time
for such intercourse is midnight. . The
lad comes under the lassie's window and
whistles or in some : other way informs
her of his presence. She thereupon lets
him into the house, or, oftener goes out
to him. The call lasts two or three hours.
Curiously enough, attempts to persuade
grown people from so absurd and other
wise objectionable a practice, have thus
far proved futile. , ;
In the Way. A mother who was
preparing some flour to make into bread,
left it for a few moments,, when. little
Mary- with childish curiosity to see
what it was took hold of the dish, which
fell , to the floor, spilling the contents.
The mother struck, the child" a severe
blow, saying , with anger, that sbo was
always-in the way. Two weeks after,
little Mary sickened and , died.;-; On her
death bed while delirious, she asked her
mother if there; would be room,, for her
among, the, angels. . ?I was in your way
mother; you had toe room for little Mary;
and will I be in the ' angels yay ? Will
there be' room;, for mo ?" The" broken
hearted moihe? then felt that no sacrifice
could have been too great could she have
saved her child. ' i
- There is a lucky farmer near Dnbuquc,
iowa. One Monday night of last month
two of his sheep became the mothers of
seven Iambs, one f producing three and
the other fpur; one of his cows had a
calf ; a sow had :a litter of seventeen pigs,
and his wifo presented - him ;with two
bouncing boys. - " ! - - : i -
So gross is the present dramatic litera
ture in France, that there is scarcely a
theatre in Paris 'to which a man could,
with propriety, take his wife or daughter,
Sayings by Joih BUUp. v
.It is highly important that Wftca.
man makes up his mind to-Becum a ra
kal, that he wood examine hisself closely 'r
and see if he aiirf, better konstitooted, to
a phool. , .... -i,;
K I argy this way i If ar man is right,
be kant be- too radikar ; if he b roog, h?
kaat be toe kooflervatifT- , ,
When you pra, pra right at the bulls
"Tell the truth and shame the devil. T
I kno lota of people who can shame, the
devil easy enuff, but, the tother thing
bothers them. . : . , , , . ,
It is a very dclikit job tew , forgrvo a
man without lowering him in hii own es
timashun, and yorze too. . , , ri j
Az a jeneral thing,, when a woman
wares the britches, she has a good rite to
them. , ,. . , - . .,... , .,.
It iz admitted now bi , everybody, that
the Man who kin git ptiat on berlonjf
s-issage has got a good deal of dorg in
Wooman's , infiooenze , is powerful
espeshially when she wants ennything.
Sticking up your noze don t prove env
nything, for a soap biler, when he isawa
frum hiz hum, smells ennything.
No man luves tew irit beat, but it is
"Be sure you are rite, then go ahod ;"
but in . case yon aint rite, go ahed enny
wa. ,.;... , ; .
Wooman will sometimes confess her
sins ; but I never knue wua to confesa
ber faults. , ,
Don't mistaik arrogance fur wisdom y
menny people thought tna wua wize wen,
they wuz only windy. - -
Men aint apt to be kicked out uv good
society for being rltch. '
The road to Ruin is always kept ir
good repair, and the taverns pay the ex
penses cf it. '
If a man begins life bi bein a fust
Lieutenant in his familee, he need never
look for promoshun. '
The unla prophit there is in keeping
more than one dorg, is wat you can make-
on his bourd. . , "
Young man, study Deffercnee; it t
tbe best card in the pack. "
Honesta is the poor man's poark and
the rich man's pudding., ,
There is a luxury in sometimes feeling
lonesum. ' '
There is onla one advantage that I kin
sea, in goin tew the devil, and that ia the
rode iz eza and you are sure to git there.
Lastla I am violently opposed to ar
dent speerits as a beverage, but for man
ufacturing purposes 'a leetle ov it tastes
good. " ' " - " ' " ' '
A Lucky Old Lady. An old woman
of the middle class recently appearod in
a jeweler's shop in Paris,' and produced
a bag of old gold and silver coins, 'which
she desired to have made into f buttons
for a birthday pesent for her daughter. ,
"I hear," said she, "that such things
arc worn now-a-days, and I am determin
ed that petite shall have as fine ' buttons
as anybody." ! ';..;-:.-:;;.-
"But mad ame, -perhaps, does not know
the value of these," replied the jeweler,
who was both honest and learned in coins.
"Indeed I do," said the i old "' dame.
"Folks wanted me to believe they were
rusty copper, and of no account, but I
know they're good gold. They couldn't
cheat me." " ; - .-. : , , 7,...,..1
"But they have an additional value as
curiosities," persisted the good man.
And he explained to her, of which she
had no idea, that some coins were worth -twenty,
times their intrinsic value. Bear
ing this, the good woman"" produced a
large number of brooches or clasps, and
other ornaments, which her father -.had
disinterred from Morrovingian graves . in
Burgundy, and which ha had not hither
to dared to" sell, from a current ' belief
that they belonged to the ' Government.
The collection, whioh was of incredible
value, was purchased from her at a fair
price, and now adorns the museum, of a
French nobleman..; : - ,
"" , - - ,.. jj i."
Shexpat Fivb Cents per Heai.
In Cleveland, O., recently, J. Harsh sold
to Case and Sholl, packers, five thousand
two hundred and fifty sheep 'for fibre.
cents per head, the seller ; retaining the
hides and the purchaser Slaughtering the.
animate. . The Cleveland Leadee aaygs
"Mutton is exceedingly cheap at present.
Large quantities of sheep are being
slaughtered, as, on account of fodder,
they will not pay for wintering. CresjKr
are sold in the market for fron forty to
sixty cents each." .MTatnii&iirw Oi.1b1