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About The Hillsboro argus. (Hillsboro, Or.) 1895-current | View Entire Issue (May 8, 1902)
A At Af AtAt At AA!AIA ! 1IERR STEIN1IARDFS NEMESIS BY J. MACLAREN COBBAN. CHAPTER VI Continued. I took thi a a dismissal, and was going. "Cnwin, bide, lad," said Birley. "I want you to be witness cl what I hire to ray: I may ai well say it now ; it's been bound to com for a long while. You see that nian there that foreigner, that German that grinds our Lancashire folk small under his great clumsy boot, and that threatens now to ruin me that's what lie means by saying I'll repent this I took him into my office when be was a raw lad, with no recommend but that he was willing to work ; I gave him a better place in my print works; I was his friend; I treated him like brother." The dear old n an's voice well nigh broke; it was not pleasant to see the unrelenting, uncompromising malignity with which Steinhardt listened "I gave him money to get him a partner ship with Taul " "Which I paid back," inteirnpted Steinhardt. "Ay, lad," said Birley, "you paid me back more than that; you paid me back for all I did in your own, way you took my print works from " me " "Your own mad extravagance did that." "ion set my friend Paul a$aint me," continued Birley, waving away his interruption; "you've got my other shop now almost into your hands " "Yonr bad management has done that." "You've done with Paul's money as if it were your own; and you've pro posed to me that I should agree to your taking that 20,000 pounds of the law suit from his girl's fortune." "Son!" growled Steinhardt, becom ing more German in his rage. "It is now done! There is an end! We are no more to each other!" "I know that, 'Manuel, my lad. And you're glad 01 it, and so, I think, am I. And now you may finish me off but you shall not beggar the orphan girl. Now my ray is done. You're very proud tonight of having deceived an English court of law; but don't vou holloa so lond till you're out of the wood ; you haven't done yet with law nor with Lancashire." The old man turned and left the room, looking ten years older; be seemed to falter in his step, and the usually ruddy tints in his face had died out, leaving his cheeks and lips of an ashy hue. I followed him without a word. In the hall he took his hat; I did the same and accompanied him in silence from the house and through the village; I would have seen him home, but he insisted on my leaving him when my lodgings were reached. I went indoors, but I could not stay. I was in the wildest perturbation of feeling which, I think, I bad ever ex perienced. The close air of . my little sitting room stifled me, and when I left it the air of the village oppressed me almost as much. I could not, strive as I would to turn my attention to other things, get rid of the burning impres sion of that painful scene in the dining room of Timperley Hall. My resent ment of the brusque treatment I had myself experienced from Steinhardt was keen; but it was nothing compared with the indignation I felt at the ter ribly pathetic, tale of ingratitude re vealed by old Birley's words; and that again had to, give place to a feeling of horrible dread and loathing of that un crupuloug, overbearing German ruffian. I had watched him closely, even with a certain fascination of intentness, and throughout the scene I had caught not to much a the wink of an eyelid or the movement of a aingle nerve or muscle indicative of anything but the most un wavering determination to assert him self and his will, no matter what came in the way. I was appalled, I may say frankly, terrified at the exhibition of such remorseless inhumanity all the more so that I did not find it out of keeping with anything I had before known of the man. If another stood in his way, he would not merely tread on his toes with a crunch of his big boot; he would lift him in his strong German arms and fling him aside. He had "eaten up" his old friend Birley, from no small vindictiveness, it was evident, but from an all-devouring self aggrandizement. And what greater enormity would he hesitate to commit, so long as it brought him nearer his chief end? To what did all this vague dread and surmise tend? To my horror I found that the suspicion of what bad been Lacroix's fate, which had hitherto been whirling and curling in my imag ination tike a lurid vapor, was now assuming definite shape and settling upon Steinhardt! Why should be have done to death his partner? I could not tell; I could scarcely make a guess worth the name. If he had, was the method of it such as had been indicated in Dick's confession? If he had how, where had he bestowed the traces of the crime? CHAPTER VII. Kext evening I went to Freeman's, who was going away for his holiday the second morning alter. I wished to re mind Freeman of his promise to make inquiries in London concerning Mr. La croix, and especially to underline cer tain places for inquiry. The reader will understand why I advised Mr. Freeman to institute careful inquiry at the stations of the great railway lines that run northward from London most careful Inquiry at the station of the Great Northern Railway; but Mr. Free man did not readily understand why I should urge there points. "Come," said he, looking at me hard, and in evident surprise, "what's in your noddle now? what new sus picion have you worked up?'" "Don't look so surprised at me," I was piqued into saying, when I felt hi -sober scrutiny would be turned upon my structure of evidence I doubted for the time its eobgrencejand stability and this doubt in myself I resented: "I am quite sane and serious. I have had 'borne in' upon me the impression I can't quite say how it came that Lacroix left London that night " "What night?" "Thursday, March the sixteenth of last year. Miss Lacroix has told me VAlAAtl At? VI A Af At 'f Ci. " he was at his hotel, it has been found, on that day." "I hadn't heard the date named be fore." I then told him how, on turning over p ui.,., nrausnaw, au uis - covered the existence of a very late train from London. "But," said he, "there are trains almost as late on other lines." "But not so quick," said I. "Besides," said he, "you don't know that the train you mention was running more than a year ago." j "So; I do not." I was a little put' out. Still I urged, "I have, however, .-v-..,t eiiuny i-?iii it mni i uo 1101 think I am quite at liberty to tell you at present why I believe my specula- tion that he left London may turn out true." that night j J "Left for home, I suppose von think? . ' , , w " But why should he suodeni) set of ' 1'-P me to go, ,f you will home late at night without intima- j , ; i .i i i tion" - lias Mr. Steinhardt, then,"! asaed, "l" cannot tell. But might he not. " !"",''i'' for instance, have heard somehow, or i l; - , ., v . have suspected, that Steinhardt ma, . V ' , ly. you still using the patent thev had been j knW' I11"w . MrB' rlrv"ml h,8 T1 fined heavily for infringing? It ig very s.ul ly, alnust w.th tears, that he clear, snrelvfrom this recent law ! "TT T "!? . "iV" 1 affair, that Steinhardt has never left off , "'"V1 ',y-a,;'1 " using it " i ' t,,,t " ' -v' 0 know ' H hw "Of course," said he. looking very I Mr; ,sh" hf8 'wiMf n seriou. and meditative, ".hat certainfv j nMn' ho?.h '""""' ""' might be. But," he continued in a ",,,e' h "'l1' ""M "r new tone of alarm, "what doe all this ! m. ''f, Vxi "c. ' , , peculation mean? You snrelv haven't1 tl,e" ! X,M ,Mr' P,,,,,,1m,t h let your suspicion go so far as to in.- agine poor Lacroix came home to to find a violent death? Have vou reallv let yourself think so morbidly of thinis as to suspect Steinhardt of cabins ii? He, I know, is without much scruple of conem-bnt that, mv lrien.J, js.l-iIMl toreth.r tn hnrrihu i.,..i;K . Besides, why- he itopptd, but I would sav in the could see what he careful, considering look he gave me. "Yes," said I, "I kuow; you think why should I imagine that this should have remained undiscovered unsus pected, if you like for a year, only for me to find out, or suspect me, a man of no extraordinary perception or dis crimination." "Well, rnwin," said he, "I will confess I did think something like that. You must excuse me." "Certainly. But I don't pretend to have lighted on the things that make me suspect through ray own shrewd ness of suspicion; I don't pretend to 1 the mover in the matter at all. In deed, when I look back over the few months I have been here, I am sur prised to see how the several points of my suspicion have been aljoost forced on my attention in ways that appear to me quite unusually providential." Freeman turned and looked through the window, very grave and thoughtful. "It is perhaps," said I, mw roused to a considerable pitch of feeilng, "not a very Christian doctrine, but I believe, or I imagine, there is a conscious divine vengeance that broods npon the world, and that takes severe note of the per sistent evil deeds of evil doers, and marks them out for unrelenting pun ishment, secret or open, slow or swift, i i auu tuai cuonses iw instruments, or agents, of punishment in a fashion of its own." "Good gracious! Unwin what a dreadful belief!' "I don't think you would have much to say sgainst it if you hfid been with me last night in the dining room of Timperley Hall, and seen our dear friend Birley moved almost to tears be fore that German ruffian, and then seen him leave the house a ruined and heart broken man." He sat in silent amazement; and I related the scene I had witnessed. "After hearing all that," I said, "and seeing how Steinhardt behaved and looked, I can believe any cruelly or wickedness of him. I do not think that even yoa now will consider my horrible suspicion so preposterons." Freeman eat silent, pulling his big beard. "I think," said he at length, with a thin smile, "nature after all can't have intended me for a criminal investi gator: I couldn't find it in me to think any human being capable of euth a crime as that then perhaps you would say Steinhardt is not a human being; he is only a foreigner sent for our sins to poison us with his diabol ical chemistry. "As I said, the instinct of detection, or suspicion even, is not very strong in me. But I will do my best for you in London." "And," said I, "I think I can make particular inquiry at King's Cross easier for you. I used to be very friendly with an official there of high standing; I will write to him." I wrote to my old friend as soon as I returned to my lodgings; I related the circumstances of Lacroix's disappear ance, and mentioned the suspicion, wnich "those who are interested in his (ate entertain," that he really tet out by train, probably from King's Cross, to return home, and aeked him to be so good as to give such help as he could to my friend Freeman in his attempt to find out whether that were so or not. It was very late next morning on re turning along the Lacroix Lane from the little station to which I had ac companied Freeman and his wife that I met Louise near the pond again. She came toward me at once with a look of premeditation. "I hae been looking for you," said she. (How sweet thofe words sounded.) "I knew yon were gone to the station. I have something I wish to say; will you come with me iuto Uncle Jacques's cottage? we shall be there safe from being watched." What suspicion, I wondered, prompted that? I entered the little octagonal building for the first time, and was immediately in the presence of the old paralytic, who sat huddled and wrapped in blankets in a great arm chair, with his lifeless hands lying limp in his lap. It was with a strange feeling of pity, and something like awe, that I looked upon this feeole, almost lifeless, remnant of a famous historic family, spending the last flickers of his existence in a humble cottage in a for eign land. A single flash of fancy was enough to show me behind him a long warriors, statesmen, courtiers. priests of the old French rt-gime, . from which stvd out near the end tin i figure of the white haired old soldier of the Bstilo falling slaughtered amid j the Paris mob and that the glory, and j honor, and courage of the past yhould emt in this an. I nere: Was It not sufficient to fill the heart with an un utterable sadness and depair of life'? His eyes were bright, but there seemed to be no speculation in them; his toothless gums mmnhlod, but no sound was uttered. "Ho .cannot speak a word," said Louis to me; "and I do not think he can quite hear now ;" but for all that ; ,,. , loW .. look, , h.,,..., th.u.i, ti- ....... i. gan, poor I'ncle Jacques. The old man who looks after him is gore out, so we may talk as if there were no ore here." Me threw off her hat and jacket, for the air-of the room was very close : a small fire burned in the grate. I felt impelled to sit so that I could nhserve the old man without turning, for his appearance fascinated me. "I want to go awav, Mr. I'nwin," she began at once in a low tone of in- tense feeling, ."out of this terrible j place, away Irom the deptt, Mr. Stein- tartlt; I want to go and find out what -1 .Z- , 7 He laughed and said I had no money, , "'" "T V T? V te j ,w , V "''" M 'T , u-"' "" 'V, "gry ."" 't.'nte: and he was anr.v. 111 nls ! He called . " T , '"""TT 'i T . 4 i )h""h ?' win '' "ke,l me , . Hii-n m nil ioi hi. iiiiniiii. lie told me I must make tip mv mind to marry Frank, as he wii-hed and at my father hail wisehd, or I shuuld not stay long in his house. I said, my father would have never wiihed me to marry anyone without luye. He answered, that was of no consequence: he was now in my father's place, I left him and went to my room, and. thinking it over, it came to me how he must have disliked mv poor father, if he could Feak to me so, and how he, perhaps, did not much wish to have father's death cleared up. Then I thought that it was likely he had not taken much trouble to inquire about him in London all that, you see, was in his hands. But now I will go to London myself, away from his rude ness, and find out the whole matter for myself if you will help me.' (Tab continued) For French Academicism. The French Academy has nnproori ated a sum for the maintenance of an album in which three photouraph of every immortal one showii g the full face and two the profile will be care fully preerved. When an academician dies it is usual to adirn what may be called the literary Hotel des Iualides with his bust, but occasioially th sculptor exierience difficulty in find ing a trustworthy representation of th departed great. Immcnit Output of Petroleum. If all the petroleum produced !ast year in the United States was put in standard barrels, and the barrels placed in a row touching each other, the line would completely belt the earth. Enough coal was produced to give three and one-half tons to every one of the 76,000,000 persons in the United States, and enough gold to give every American a gold dollar. Speedy Long-DiiUnce Delivery. The speediest long distance delivery of mail ever accomplii-hed in the world was that of the consignment which left Sydney, Australia, October 15, for Lon don, England, by the American route. A distance of 15,205 miles was covered in 31 days, a saving of four day over the Suez canal route. The Way to Keep Good. Brooding over the evil that you hav done will never correct that evil. Rather will it make possible a repeti tion of the thing dwelt upon. Set your mind the other way. Think honest, pure, kind, courageous thoughts all the time, and your mind will have no time for their opposites. Success. Flag Dm Peculiir Intcrett General Eugene Griffin has in his possession the American flag made by the sailors in Lieutenant Gilmore's party out of patches and stripes of their clothing after their rescue from the in surgents in the wildest part of Luzon. Value of Cotton Seel In 1900 cotton seed added lucent te the value of each pound of cotton, or 54,000,000 to the wealth of the cotton raern. The return would have been 180,000,000 if all the seed had been crushed for oil. Work of Joel Chandler Harris, Joel Chandler Harris, the author, lives in a little frame cottage in At lanta, Ga. He writes from six to seven hours a day, turning out from 1,500 to 2,000 words, using a typewriter. Deniil from American Scout. Major F. R, Bumham, an American scout, who served with the British cav alry in the Boer war, denies that he has applied for the place of instructor of scouts at Aldershot. SuHivan'i Truthful Remark. John L. Sullivan has been recoenked as a truthful as well as a fighting man. "I've made a monkey of myself again," he said the other day. Whistle In Old Mexico. The ancient Mexicans had a snccies of whistle which produced at least three notes, it had two finger boles ttid a mouthpiece ta th lid. J TTttt WHEN THE CIRCUS GOMES TO TOWN. FOR three months the huge pos ters In red aud blue tuk have flamed forth. There la' the "Blood Sweating Behemoth of Holy Writ," with au open mouth sit feet square; there Is "Mine. I.lsette, Gorg eous Queen of the Hoops ot Fire," clad In pink tights, leaping through billow of flame; there Is the "Uusurpassed. I'nparaltered. and l'ne)unled Vnlou of Uulque aud Mighty Monsters" leering out through bars of Irou; there are a hundred other marvels, auy one of which la enough to throw the -small boys Into spasms of excitement When the first bill goes up they all begin to make plans for golug to the circus. In divers ways they begin to get together the money needed for a ticket. They save rags and old Iron; they cut lawns; they pick strawber ries; they chop Kindling and carry In wood. Every penny la saved. To the ehlldren the coming of a circus Is the greatest possible Incentive to Imlustry and economy. This Is a virtue which, straugely enough, the modest circus nmnajtes has been slow to clulm. And then Bnally comes the parade which Is really IwHter than the circus Itself. The "show of Is always on the flats at the other end of Main street. You get tip at 3 o'clock In the morning and hurry down to aoe the circus "get In" and .unload. Perhaps if the fates are kind you get a neaven-sent chance to carry buckets of water uutll your buck aches for n ticket of admission to the show. That makes you an object of envy to nil your fellows. You stay and watch the caiivnsutcu drive their pegs, rig their poles, aud build a canvas city while the ordinary man would be marking o!T the site. You see the animals fed and your eye stick out like hard (toll ed eggs when a beautiful young wom an with red cheeks anil a short white lace dress Is let Into the cage with the Hons. Finally the crisis comes. From the far off end of Main street a wild strain of unearthly music sweeps up the packed street It Is the steam calliope In actlon-an Instrument which sounds like a score of tug whistles blowing at ouce. At the sound all the horses In bearing rear and plunge and their own ers rush frantlenlly out to wrestle with them. Meanwhile the town mar shal Is running down to the -street to bavethe calliope turned off before the town Is torn to pieces. Far ahead of the rest of the proces sion ride two men In a shiny victoria, drawn by two white and two Jut black horses, wearing silver mounted har ness with yellow reins. One of the men is a quiet looking person In a mod est suit of black clothes and a black slouch bat lie owns the show, but he cut no figure In the eyes of the popu lace In comparison with the gorgeous and glittering Individual who .ride with him. This latter wears a red waistcoat with blue polka dots, white spats, shining patent leathers, and al most white frock coat and a tall silk hat on which the tun play In splen dor. His ample paunch I crossed by an enormous gold chain, which mean ders also once or twice around his neck. In bis big red necktln shines a diamond greater and more brilliant than the Kohlnoor. Twice In each block as he proceeds In hi triumphal progress up Main street, this glittering personage rises to his feet and lift bis silk hat, reveal ing a bald head as shining as bis hat. He opens bis mouth and out of It comes a voice like the blast of a trum pet. "Come one! Come all!" he bellows. "Ou behalf of the management I am authorized to announce that Immedi ately before the performance under the large canvas Mine. Llssctte will perform the unparalleled and stupen dous feat of dancing the skirt dunce whllo suspended In midair on a slack rope stretched between the top of the wagon factory and the roof of the vin egar works. Entirely free, gratuitous, and complimentary. . Without money and without price the gifted little Indy will disport In mldspace. Come onel Come all!" Then he would make a bow and sit down, while the small boys gasped with awful admiration and envy. Then you start on the dead run up Main street to get the seat In the sec ond etory window over Brown' gro cery which hns been reserved for you. Already Main street Is packed - with people. One row I lifting down on s -6 n i " " THE I'AKAliB rUMAIN 8TBEET. " ' i the curb, with their fret In the gutter. Hi hind them stand other rows reach ing back to the front ot the stores and then cllmhlug to point of vautnge ou tt:e topa of dry goods boxes. All th windows are full, anxious mothers clutching with nervous hands th walstliaiid of small children, who do their best to full out Into the crowds below wheuever a stray strain of music "omea floating up froiu the di rection of the circus lot. It you have earned a ticket or have a.i extra quarter In your p.1 ills' pock eta you buy a big bag of peanuts, the sbella'of which you throw down from your high perch on to the heads of the people on the sidewalk. When the shells strike you turn your eyes away and look as uticonscloiM as possible. Now the town marshal emerges from the crowd on the other side of the street, dragglug by the collar a young man who Is denounced as "on of them city thugs." He starts down the cen ter of the street with hit prisoner, fol lowed by a street full of excited men and boys, to whom to arrest Is a ex citing as a declaration of war. It It the marshal's day to shine, tie get to within a block of the lockup, under the engine-house, when a farmer's team, frightened half to death by th unusual noise aud by th swift ap proach of the crowd, break away from the bltchlug post at th curb. stand up on their bind legs, and start to paw bole In the atmosphere. With out stopping to think the marshal drops his hold on hi prisoner and grab the horse. The pickpocket slips away to safety, "but the horse are stopped from running away. A dozen times there are false alarm that the parnde has started. Each time the crowd along Main street surges Into the street, and up the street come the huge glided cages full of cooking utensils and baggage, with tightly closed side and big sign warning the crowd to "Beware, Don gerous." Up conies the den of lions, with the lady In pluk tight sitting on n cracker box lu tho midst of them. Up come the clown, riding on a little donkey that stops every fifty feet and kicks up solemnly, while the crowds roar with laughter. Up comes every thing belonging to the circus that con walk or be moved on wheel. Then the last wagon wlng round the cor ner and the crowd How Iuto the street behlud It. There Is always the awful possibility that father won't let you go to the cir cus. Once there wa a small boy In a eouutry town who had got hold of ,ri0 cents and wanted to go to the circus so badly that he fairly ached all over. But his father soldi "No, I don't be lieve In going to too many circuses. You're too small to go alone, and I can't spare the time. You'll have to stay at home." . The small boy, desperate With disap pointment, ran away and went to the circus with another youih lu similar straits. They got their ticket, went In, looked at the animals, and then took their seats In the circus tent Be tween the act they looked around them. Presently the small boy, glanc ing up, saw his father sitting six rows higher up. At the same Instuut his father saw him. Neither of them gnre any sign of recognition, and neither referred to the subject afterwards, Only by the fact that he wa not taken out into the' wood shed after he got home was the small boy certain that he had not been mistaken. As a rule you didn't stay to "the grand vocal, instrumental, and terpsl chorean concert In the main canvas Im mediately after the conclusion of the performance." With the afternoon concert over there wa still the even ing performance to look forward to, Then the town relaxed back Into Hs normal condition. A Musical Staircase. A staircase ha Just been Invented which play tune as It Is walked up and down upon. A series of pins are pressed by the feet and play gongs and drums, while other are connected with collapsible chambers which blow trumpet .and other similar Instru ment. Velocity of the Wind. At the height of one mile the aver age velocity of the wind Is four times as great as at the earth's surface. Talent Is of no use to the man win hasn't the courage to use It. OUK BUDGET OF FUN. HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND INGS HERE ANO THERE. DO- Joke aud Jokt lot that Are MnpiMMcd to Hav Bvt Kwtutlx Hura-KajrUa and lolutbal Art OIJ, Curlou cmJ LauKhablo-Th Wk' Httnor, The Mail (In the milliner hop-You see, my wife hns told me a doseu time that I'll have to buy Iter a Imt, ninl I've decided to do It literally. No the point? Tho Stileswonmu-tif course! It' too bud there are not more huslmuds Ilk you! What sTirt of a hat do you wish to buy T Tho Man-Why, the latest spring style, you know; and -e-r-I'll lie blown! If I tll.ln't forget to ask her what ulae she vennt!-l'uck. Tho Man that Went rUhlna. "What a line string of fish!" they all etchiltni'd, as he exhibited hi cali lt. "I Hd you get all you hooked T "No," said the limn who hnd leen angling. "There was one Hint got away, but 1 wa rather glad of It. It wasn't half as big as any of llioxo," After Hoyal ()ih Old tieut- What are you lumtliu. my boy? (iussTe- I'm looking for one of those storks. If one of Vol sail over hem wlih a bnhy I'll Just whig him Hiut get the kid.--Chicago Now. Valuable. Wltherby-Tliat' a nice little wife you Itnve for your home, old limit. I mpiHioe Hint Is for your wife' use? l'hiiiklnton-Not much. Hhe hnsu't even tho ronihlnnttoti, Wllherby-You must keep something very valiinlilo lu It, not even to let your wife know the combination of It. rittllkllltc.lt -Vou bet 1 do, 1 kevp all my collar buttons and shoestring In that mi fe. Judge, Th Couk l.aily'a fr'uvnrtte. Mr. Huuskecp- Ucre't the roast !wf cooked to dentil agitlli. Can't we ever have It rare? , Mr, Hnuskecp. I'm afruld not. Tho policeman on this bent like Ills moat well done. I'hlliiilelphlu Pre. A Mold ISUUI, iobb-'hy iliil thnt Itjone girl blush no furiously at dinner? Mollis- She's so hum I cut she iluesn'l even like to see the salmi dressing. Philadelphia ltecord. An Interrupted NurmUvi. . The Houhrellel met a mini who aw you once In tragedy. The Comedian -What did lie may hont It? The 8onbretteoii! I cut him short. I don't care for linnl luck storle. Puck. Cause uiul KITcct. "Bunting Is financially emlm missed." "How did thai happen Y" "Ills wife's Easter bonnet was sent home C. O. H." ; In the lunllal Kolumlu. iT The Bride Why do Congressmen 'ab ways write "Hon." before their mime? The Groom You would not know they were unless they did. The BrldoNot know they were Con gressmen? The Groom No; houorabfe. Her Taste. Mr. Fussy (rearranging the things lu the parlor) You have wretchedly noor taste, .my dear. ,. Mrs. Fussy (resignedly) -That's what everybody said when 1 murrled you, Heiiry.-Detmlt Free Press. For Kcoiinmy' Hake. Towno-I should think Peck would object to hi wife posing a a new woman. Brown-Not at all, He ha liitliieiwi her to wear the neckties she bought hi in for Christina. Philadelphia Press. Charity. He Do you think men ought to bo shot when they nre 4."? She-No, I think most of them do serve It eurlier-iilong about the time they go to college-Chicago ltecord- Horam. Uoiiiitfiil, Collector When shall I call collect hi bill, sir? Iiunhnway How do I know? r i,'i always tell ahead Just when I mvi ink ing to be out. Life. The Promt Kit titer, "He's a beautiful llttlo hoy." th vl. Itor said. "You must be proud of him." '1 am,' replied the father. "Ha never ii id a bright thing lu bis life." ii i i i i "1 j A "ever Ptum-k. 'put lln coroner jury asri wlmt caused llowersox nuil, -o dealhr "Ve; It pper that h received a plumber' bill In hi morning i all." "But study that did Hot kill hliu?" "That wu't It. but about noou th plumber hlniM'lf culled and said tliero w an overclmrge lu th bill that h wished to correct." Camllil Opinion. "What do you think of Hit new pho tograph of Amy and myself taken to gether V aitked Mis lioldthorpe. "Vour lister take a really handsome picture," replied Ml Hterllngwortk, after an Inspection. Tba Hmtnljr. "No, lr." declared i!um. a nt warmed up to hi subject. "You'll ney. er Ik- happy o long a you ar lu debt Pay your debt, Hwybck, pay your debt." "But I hav no money," said Sway back. "Then borrow It." Th Author's Vliih Author' Little Boy-Papa, what I a iiinguxliie editor? Author lot hoiiip repute) Why, he I I lie ma ti Ii, the uiagnxlue tittle who print th article ho ought to send buck, mid send hack th article h ought to print.-Life. AI th Novo! I'lay. lie- I Ktippone, before swing on of these pliiyn one should rend the book. She-Yen. Then, In ""tn Clue, ou might avoid the pluy.-Puck." Ilrhlud In Mvoaoa. Madge Trill -The malinger eiu to think that softie day my vole will break Hi rci-urd. Hun ('auntie Pcrhapt If you ilug lu a phonograph,--I'hlcugo New. A Mltr, "la tu a mauler of English?" "Ye, to Judgo by Hi lluertl h takes.'' I'rialuilallc Ww, KlllltU-t'su't I a Uioleas word. Junes -(h, I don't know. It come In Imiidy to fill a gap lu the conversation when a man k you to tunn hint '. kerf, Whlt"nrf Hla. "Thar in tut he a woodpile tip to col lege. Maria." "Why, Hiram?" "BecRUe Crawford' on write that he m-tm our 811a pick In' up chip very nlKht." j Ilia Kiurlnr. Wngleloit - Philosophy, It I ld. will enable a man to endur almon! any thing. Wcderly-l don't doubt It Moat phi luMipher have becu married. Chicago Sew , ''I'e Ide'e! lint new preacher er pray hi' fur ralti-an' me, wife uv on ob d deacon, too. wld all deo cloe ter ilr)!" A Hi rata hi Tip, Hmlib-lteul estate I about th only snfu Investment nowaday. Jiuieih. I don't know. There are loo ninny umterupuloua men who want the earth to milk It a snfu thing to lu vest In, llaraly Pnaalblo. K"ftlclghl Mia I'ppton In? Miild - No, sir. But she told in to sny If ymi called that It wa very kind of you. Sofllelgh-Vcry kind or me! Now, I wouder what she meant by that? .Inldl really don't know. lr, but I think she meant It wa kind of you to call when she wa out. Chicago New,w His I'.tperlanct. "Yon can't Imagine," said the musl enl young woman, "how distressing It Is w lien a sMiger realises that ho ha lust her voice." "Perhaps not," replied the man. "but I've got a fair Idea, of bow distressing It Is when she doesn't realise It." 1'hlhidelphla Press. lllitn't Uo Tit round 111 Pocketa. "My dear, you must have slept very soundly lust ulghl," "Why?" "I left a dollar note In my trousers pocket last night and It wa mill there this morning." A toiled fur It. Customer-You've cut my hair short. Barber- Mltall I put a little of "hair restorer" on It, lr? too our Partly Naw. Visitor-That painting I by an old master, I see. Mr, McHhoddle (apologellcolly)-Y-e-s, but the framo 1 new. New York Weekly. Havana Htreet Car. One of the principal feature of the Americanising of lluvaua ha beeu the Introduction of electric cars. There wero formerly about tlx miles of track In tho capital, but the equipment, con sisting of Utile, bob-tailed car aud crawny, undersized mules, did not combine to make a service worthy of enthusiastic mention. When the truck was lengiheued out to tweuty-four tulles and Wizard Edison's big electric flyers put on, nil of Havana' two hun dred and fifty thousand Inhabltaut wanted to ride at once. One of tho pe culiarities of tho service Is tho tenden cy of the motorninu to run ahead of tho schodulo. They tear through tho nar row, crooked street at a rate that Is exceedingly duugerous. The frequency of fatalities doc not Bcem to bavo the desired effect These yellow fellow are strangers to the nutomatlo brake. They have boon so uceiiHtomed to driv ing steeds that have to be urged by the coiiHtant application of whip and pur, that they seem to have no fear ot ouo that will run away. A a conse queiice, the Havana street cars put Ui lsluud express train to shamo. Hani In I'traao,