A At Af AtAt At AA!AIA
!
1IERR STEIN1IARDFS NEMESIS
BY J. MACLAREN COBBAN.
CHAPTER VI Continued.
I took thi a a dismissal, and was
going.
"Cnwin, bide, lad," said Birley.
"I want you to be witness cl what I
hire to ray: I may ai well say it now ;
it's been bound to com for a long
while. You see that nian there that
foreigner, that German that grinds
our Lancashire folk small under his
great clumsy boot, and that threatens
now to ruin me that's what lie means
by saying I'll repent this I took him
into my office when be was a raw lad,
with no recommend but that he was
willing to work ; I gave him a better
place in my print works; I was his
friend; I treated him like brother."
The dear old n an's voice well nigh
broke; it was not pleasant to see the
unrelenting, uncompromising malignity
with which Steinhardt listened "I
gave him money to get him a partner
ship with Taul "
"Which I paid back," inteirnpted
Steinhardt.
"Ay, lad," said Birley, "you paid
me back more than that; you paid me
back for all I did in your own, way
you took my print works from " me "
"Your own mad extravagance did
that."
"ion set my friend Paul a$aint
me," continued Birley, waving away
his interruption; "you've got my
other shop now almost into your
hands "
"Yonr bad management has done
that."
"You've done with Paul's money as
if it were your own; and you've pro
posed to me that I should agree to your
taking that 20,000 pounds of the law
suit from his girl's fortune."
"Son!" growled Steinhardt, becom
ing more German in his rage. "It is
now done! There is an end! We are
no more to each other!"
"I know that, 'Manuel, my lad.
And you're glad 01 it, and so, I think,
am I. And now you may finish me off
but you shall not beggar the orphan
girl. Now my ray is done. You're
very proud tonight of having deceived
an English court of law; but don't vou
holloa so lond till you're out of the
wood ; you haven't done yet with law
nor with Lancashire."
The old man turned and left the
room, looking ten years older; be
seemed to falter in his step, and the
usually ruddy tints in his face had died
out, leaving his cheeks and lips of an
ashy hue. I followed him without a
word. In the hall he took his hat; I
did the same and accompanied him in
silence from the house and through the
village; I would have seen him home,
but he insisted on my leaving him when
my lodgings were reached.
I went indoors, but I could not stay.
I was in the wildest perturbation of
feeling which, I think, I bad ever ex
perienced. The close air of . my little
sitting room stifled me, and when I left
it the air of the village oppressed me
almost as much. I could not, strive as
I would to turn my attention to other
things, get rid of the burning impres
sion of that painful scene in the dining
room of Timperley Hall. My resent
ment of the brusque treatment I had
myself experienced from Steinhardt
was keen; but it was nothing compared
with the indignation I felt at the ter
ribly pathetic, tale of ingratitude re
vealed by old Birley's words; and that
again had to, give place to a feeling of
horrible dread and loathing of that un
crupuloug, overbearing German ruffian.
I had watched him closely, even with a
certain fascination of intentness, and
throughout the scene I had caught not
to much a the wink of an eyelid or the
movement of a aingle nerve or muscle
indicative of anything but the most un
wavering determination to assert him
self and his will, no matter what came
in the way. I was appalled, I may say
frankly, terrified at the exhibition of
such remorseless inhumanity all the
more so that I did not find it out of
keeping with anything I had before
known of the man. If another stood
in his way, he would not merely tread
on his toes with a crunch of his big
boot; he would lift him in his strong
German arms and fling him aside. He
had "eaten up" his old friend Birley,
from no small vindictiveness, it was
evident, but from an all-devouring self
aggrandizement. And what greater
enormity would he hesitate to commit,
so long as it brought him nearer his
chief end? To what did all this vague
dread and surmise tend? To my horror
I found that the suspicion of what bad
been Lacroix's fate, which had hitherto
been whirling and curling in my imag
ination tike a lurid vapor, was now
assuming definite shape and settling
upon Steinhardt! Why should be have
done to death his partner? I could not
tell; I could scarcely make a guess
worth the name. If he had, was the
method of it such as had been indicated
in Dick's confession? If he had how,
where had he bestowed the traces of
the crime?
CHAPTER VII.
Kext evening I went to Freeman's,
who was going away for his holiday the
second morning alter. I wished to re
mind Freeman of his promise to make
inquiries in London concerning Mr. La
croix, and especially to underline cer
tain places for inquiry. The reader
will understand why I advised Mr.
Freeman to institute careful inquiry at
the stations of the great railway lines
that run northward from London most
careful Inquiry at the station of the
Great Northern Railway; but Mr. Free
man did not readily understand why I
should urge there points.
"Come," said he, looking at me
hard, and in evident surprise, "what's
in your noddle now? what new sus
picion have you worked up?'"
"Don't look so surprised at me," I
was piqued into saying, when I felt
hi -sober scrutiny would be turned
upon my structure of evidence I doubted
for the time its eobgrencejand stability
and this doubt in myself I resented:
"I am quite sane and serious. I have
had 'borne in' upon me the impression
I can't quite say how it came that
Lacroix left London that night "
"What night?"
"Thursday, March the sixteenth of
last year. Miss Lacroix has told me
VAlAAtl At? VI A Af At
'f
Ci.
"
he was at his hotel, it has been found,
on that day."
"I hadn't heard the date named be
fore." I then told him how, on turning over
p ui.,., nrausnaw, au uis -
covered the existence of a very late
train from London.
"But," said he, "there are trains
almost as late on other lines."
"But not so quick," said I.
"Besides," said he, "you don't know
that the train you mention was running
more than a year ago." j
"So; I do not." I was a little put'
out. Still I urged, "I have, however,
.-v-..,t eiiuny i-?iii it mni i uo 1101
think I am quite at liberty to tell you
at present why I believe my specula-
tion that he left London
may turn out true."
that
night j J
"Left for home, I suppose von think? . ' , , w "
But why should he suodeni) set of ' 1'-P me to go, ,f you will
home late at night without intima- j , ; i .i i i
tion" - lias Mr. Steinhardt, then,"! asaed,
"l" cannot tell. But might he not. " !"",''i''
for instance, have heard somehow, or i l; - , ., v .
have suspected, that Steinhardt ma, . V ' , ly. you
still using the patent thev had been j knW' I11"w . MrB' rlrv"ml h,8 T1
fined heavily for infringing? It ig very s.ul ly, alnust w.th tears, that he
clear, snrelvfrom this recent law ! "TT T "!? . "iV" 1
affair, that Steinhardt has never left off , "'"V1 ',y-a,;'1 "
using it " i ' t,,,t " ' -v' 0 know ' H hw
"Of course," said he. looking very I Mr; ,sh" hf8 'wiMf n
seriou. and meditative, ".hat certainfv j nMn' ho?.h '""""' ""'
might be. But," he continued in a ",,,e' h "'l1' ""M "r
new tone of alarm, "what doe all this ! m. ''f, Vxi "c. ' , ,
peculation mean? You snrelv haven't1 tl,e" ! X,M ,Mr' P,,,,,,1m,t h
let your suspicion go so far as to in.-
agine poor Lacroix
came home to to
find a violent death? Have vou reallv
let yourself think so morbidly of thinis
as to suspect Steinhardt of cabins ii?
He, I know, is without much scruple of
conem-bnt that, mv lrien.J, js.l-iIMl
toreth.r tn hnrrihu i.,..i;K .
Besides, why-
he itopptd, but I
would sav in the
could see what he
careful, considering look he gave me.
"Yes," said I, "I kuow; you think
why should I imagine that this should
have remained undiscovered unsus
pected, if you like for a year, only for
me to find out, or suspect me, a man
of no extraordinary perception or dis
crimination." "Well, rnwin," said he, "I will
confess I did think something like that.
You must excuse me."
"Certainly. But I don't pretend to
have lighted on the things that make
me suspect through ray own shrewd
ness of suspicion; I don't pretend to 1
the mover in the matter at all. In
deed, when I look back over the few
months I have been here, I am sur
prised to see how the several points of
my suspicion have been aljoost forced
on my attention in ways that appear to
me quite unusually providential."
Freeman turned and looked through
the window, very grave and thoughtful.
"It is perhaps," said I, mw roused
to a considerable pitch of feeilng, "not
a very Christian doctrine, but I believe,
or I imagine, there is a conscious divine
vengeance that broods npon the world,
and that takes severe note of the per
sistent evil deeds of evil doers, and
marks them out for unrelenting pun
ishment, secret or open, slow or swift,
i i
auu tuai cuonses iw instruments, or
agents, of punishment in a fashion of
its own."
"Good gracious! Unwin what a
dreadful belief!'
"I don't think you would have much
to say sgainst it if you hfid been with
me last night in the dining room of
Timperley Hall, and seen our dear
friend Birley moved almost to tears be
fore that German ruffian, and then seen
him leave the house a ruined and heart
broken man."
He sat in silent amazement; and I
related the scene I had witnessed.
"After hearing all that," I said,
"and seeing how Steinhardt behaved
and looked, I can believe any cruelly or
wickedness of him. I do not think
that even yoa now will consider my
horrible suspicion so preposterons."
Freeman eat silent, pulling his big
beard.
"I think," said he at length, with a
thin smile, "nature after all can't have
intended me for a criminal investi
gator: I couldn't find it in me to
think any human being capable of euth
a crime as that then perhaps you
would say Steinhardt is not a human
being; he is only a foreigner sent for
our sins to poison us with his diabol
ical chemistry.
"As I said, the instinct of detection,
or suspicion even, is not very strong in
me. But I will do my best for you in
London."
"And," said I, "I think I can make
particular inquiry at King's Cross
easier for you. I used to be very
friendly with an official there of high
standing; I will write to him."
I wrote to my old friend as soon as I
returned to my lodgings; I related the
circumstances of Lacroix's disappear
ance, and mentioned the suspicion,
wnich "those who are interested in his
(ate entertain," that he really tet out by
train, probably from King's Cross, to
return home, and aeked him to be so
good as to give such help as he could to
my friend Freeman in his attempt to
find out whether that were so or not.
It was very late next morning on re
turning along the Lacroix Lane from
the little station to which I had ac
companied Freeman and his wife that I
met Louise near the pond again. She
came toward me at once with a look of
premeditation.
"I hae been looking for you," said
she. (How sweet thofe words sounded.)
"I knew yon were gone to the station.
I have something I wish to say; will
you come with me iuto Uncle Jacques's
cottage? we shall be there safe from
being watched."
What suspicion, I wondered,
prompted that? I entered the little
octagonal building for the first time,
and was immediately in the presence of
the old paralytic, who sat huddled and
wrapped in blankets in a great arm
chair, with his lifeless hands lying
limp in his lap. It was with a strange
feeling of pity, and something like awe,
that I looked upon this feeole, almost
lifeless, remnant of a famous historic
family, spending the last flickers of his
existence in a humble cottage in a for
eign land. A single flash of fancy was
enough to show me behind him a long
warriors, statesmen, courtiers.
priests of the old French rt-gime,
. from which stvd out near the end tin
i figure of the white haired old soldier of
the Bstilo falling slaughtered amid
j the Paris mob and that the glory, and
j honor, and courage of the past yhould
emt in this an. I nere: Was It not
sufficient to fill the heart with an un
utterable sadness and depair of life'?
His eyes were bright, but there seemed
to be no speculation in them; his
toothless gums mmnhlod, but no sound
was uttered.
"Ho .cannot speak a word," said
Louis to me; "and I do not think he
can quite hear now ;" but for all that
; ,,. , loW .. look,
, h.,,..., th.u.i, ti- ....... i.
gan, poor I'ncle Jacques. The old man
who looks after him is gore out, so we
may talk as if there were no ore here."
Me threw off her hat and jacket, for
the air-of the room was very close : a
small fire burned in the grate. I felt
impelled to sit so that I could nhserve
the old man without turning, for his
appearance fascinated me.
"I want to go awav, Mr. I'nwin,"
she began at once in a low tone of in-
tense feeling, ."out of this terrible
j place, away Irom the deptt, Mr. Stein-
tartlt; I want to go and find out what
-1 .Z- , 7
He laughed and said I had no money,
, "'" "T V T? V te
j ,w , V "''" M
'T , u-"' "" 'V, "gry
."" 't.'nte: and he was
anr.v. 111 nls ! He called
. " T , '"""TT 'i T . 4
i )h""h ?' win '' "ke,l me
, . Hii-n m nil ioi hi. iiiiniiii.
lie told me I must make tip mv mind
to marry Frank, as he wii-hed and at
my father hail wisehd, or I shuuld not
stay long in his house. I said, my
father would have never wiihed me to
marry anyone without luye. He
answered, that was of no consequence:
he was now in my father's place, I
left him and went to my room, and.
thinking it over, it came to me how he
must have disliked mv poor father, if
he could Feak to me so, and how he,
perhaps, did not much wish to have
father's death cleared up. Then I
thought that it was likely he had not
taken much trouble to inquire about
him in London all that, you see, was
in his hands. But now I will go to
London myself, away from his rude
ness, and find out the whole matter for
myself if you will help me.'
(Tab continued)
For French Academicism.
The French Academy has nnproori
ated a sum for the maintenance of an
album in which three photouraph of
every immortal one showii g the full
face and two the profile will be care
fully preerved. When an academician
dies it is usual to adirn what may be
called the literary Hotel des Iualides
with his bust, but occasioially th
sculptor exierience difficulty in find
ing a trustworthy representation of th
departed great.
Immcnit Output of Petroleum.
If all the petroleum produced !ast
year in the United States was put in
standard barrels, and the barrels placed
in a row touching each other, the line
would completely belt the earth.
Enough coal was produced to give three
and one-half tons to every one of the
76,000,000 persons in the United
States, and enough gold to give every
American a gold dollar.
Speedy Long-DiiUnce Delivery.
The speediest long distance delivery
of mail ever accomplii-hed in the world
was that of the consignment which left
Sydney, Australia, October 15, for Lon
don, England, by the American route.
A distance of 15,205 miles was covered
in 31 days, a saving of four day over
the Suez canal route.
The Way to Keep Good.
Brooding over the evil that you hav
done will never correct that evil.
Rather will it make possible a repeti
tion of the thing dwelt upon. Set your
mind the other way. Think honest,
pure, kind, courageous thoughts all the
time, and your mind will have no time
for their opposites. Success.
Flag Dm Peculiir Intcrett
General Eugene Griffin has in his
possession the American flag made by
the sailors in Lieutenant Gilmore's
party out of patches and stripes of their
clothing after their rescue from the in
surgents in the wildest part of Luzon.
Value of Cotton Seel
In 1900 cotton seed added lucent
te the value of each pound of cotton, or
54,000,000 to the wealth of the cotton
raern. The return would have been
180,000,000 if all the seed had been
crushed for oil.
Work of Joel Chandler Harris,
Joel Chandler Harris, the author,
lives in a little frame cottage in At
lanta, Ga. He writes from six to seven
hours a day, turning out from 1,500 to
2,000 words, using a typewriter.
Deniil from American Scout.
Major F. R, Bumham, an American
scout, who served with the British cav
alry in the Boer war, denies that he has
applied for the place of instructor of
scouts at Aldershot.
SuHivan'i Truthful Remark.
John L. Sullivan has been recoenked
as a truthful as well as a fighting man.
"I've made a monkey of myself again,"
he said the other day.
Whistle In Old Mexico.
The ancient Mexicans had a snccies
of whistle which produced at least three
notes, it had two finger boles ttid a
mouthpiece ta th lid.
J
TTttt
WHEN THE
CIRCUS GOMES
TO TOWN.
FOR three months the huge pos
ters In red aud blue tuk have
flamed forth. There la' the
"Blood Sweating Behemoth of Holy
Writ," with au open mouth sit feet
square; there Is "Mine. I.lsette, Gorg
eous Queen of the Hoops ot Fire," clad
In pink tights, leaping through billow
of flame; there Is the "Uusurpassed.
I'nparaltered. and l'ne)unled Vnlou of
Uulque aud Mighty Monsters" leering
out through bars of Irou; there are a
hundred other marvels, auy one of
which la enough to throw the -small
boys Into spasms of excitement
When the first bill goes up they all
begin to make plans for golug to the
circus. In divers ways they begin to
get together the money needed for a
ticket. They save rags and old Iron;
they cut lawns; they pick strawber
ries; they chop Kindling and carry In
wood. Every penny la saved. To the
ehlldren the coming of a circus Is the
greatest possible Incentive to Imlustry
and economy. This Is a virtue which,
straugely enough, the modest circus
nmnajtes has been slow to clulm. And
then Bnally comes the parade which Is
really IwHter than the circus Itself. The
"show of Is always on the flats at the
other end of Main street. You get tip
at 3 o'clock In the morning and hurry
down to aoe the circus "get In" and
.unload.
Perhaps if the fates are kind you get
a neaven-sent chance to carry buckets
of water uutll your buck aches for n
ticket of admission to the show. That
makes you an object of envy to nil
your fellows. You stay and watch the
caiivnsutcu drive their pegs, rig their
poles, aud build a canvas city while
the ordinary man would be marking
o!T the site. You see the animals fed
and your eye stick out like hard (toll
ed eggs when a beautiful young wom
an with red cheeks anil a short white
lace dress Is let Into the cage with the
Hons.
Finally the crisis comes. From the
far off end of Main street a wild strain
of unearthly music sweeps up the
packed street It Is the steam calliope
In actlon-an Instrument which sounds
like a score of tug whistles blowing at
ouce. At the sound all the horses In
bearing rear and plunge and their own
ers rush frantlenlly out to wrestle
with them. Meanwhile the town mar
shal Is running down to the -street to
bavethe calliope turned off before the
town Is torn to pieces.
Far ahead of the rest of the proces
sion ride two men In a shiny victoria,
drawn by two white and two Jut black
horses, wearing silver mounted har
ness with yellow reins. One of the
men is a quiet looking person In a mod
est suit of black clothes and a black
slouch bat lie owns the show, but he
cut no figure In the eyes of the popu
lace In comparison with the gorgeous
and glittering Individual who .ride
with him. This latter wears a red
waistcoat with blue polka dots, white
spats, shining patent leathers, and al
most white frock coat and a tall silk
hat on which the tun play In splen
dor. His ample paunch I crossed by
an enormous gold chain, which mean
ders also once or twice around his
neck. In bis big red necktln shines a
diamond greater and more brilliant
than the Kohlnoor.
Twice In each block as he proceeds
In hi triumphal progress up Main
street, this glittering personage rises to
his feet and lift bis silk hat, reveal
ing a bald head as shining as bis hat.
He opens bis mouth and out of It
comes a voice like the blast of a trum
pet. "Come one! Come all!" he bellows.
"Ou behalf of the management I am
authorized to announce that Immedi
ately before the performance under
the large canvas Mine. Llssctte will
perform the unparalleled and stupen
dous feat of dancing the skirt dunce
whllo suspended In midair on a slack
rope stretched between the top of the
wagon factory and the roof of the vin
egar works. Entirely free, gratuitous,
and complimentary. . Without money
and without price the gifted little Indy
will disport In mldspace. Come onel
Come all!"
Then he would make a bow and sit
down, while the small boys gasped
with awful admiration and envy.
Then you start on the dead run up
Main street to get the seat In the sec
ond etory window over Brown' gro
cery which hns been reserved for you.
Already Main street Is packed - with
people. One row I lifting down on
s
-6 n
i "
" THE I'AKAliB rUMAIN 8TBEET.
" ' i
the curb, with their fret In the gutter.
Hi hind them stand other rows reach
ing back to the front ot the stores and
then cllmhlug to point of vautnge ou
tt:e topa of dry goods boxes. All th
windows are full, anxious mothers
clutching with nervous hands th
walstliaiid of small children, who do
their best to full out Into the crowds
below wheuever a stray strain of
music "omea floating up froiu the di
rection of the circus lot.
It you have earned a ticket or have
a.i extra quarter In your p.1 ills' pock
eta you buy a big bag of peanuts, the
sbella'of which you throw down from
your high perch on to the heads of the
people on the sidewalk. When the
shells strike you turn your eyes away
and look as uticonscloiM as possible.
Now the town marshal emerges from
the crowd on the other side of the
street, dragglug by the collar a young
man who Is denounced as "on of them
city thugs." He starts down the cen
ter of the street with hit prisoner, fol
lowed by a street full of excited men
and boys, to whom to arrest Is a ex
citing as a declaration of war. It It
the marshal's day to shine, tie get
to within a block of the lockup, under
the engine-house, when a farmer's
team, frightened half to death by th
unusual noise aud by th swift ap
proach of the crowd, break away
from the bltchlug post at th curb.
stand up on their bind legs, and start
to paw bole In the atmosphere. With
out stopping to think the marshal
drops his hold on hi prisoner and
grab the horse. The pickpocket slips
away to safety, "but the horse are
stopped from running away.
A dozen times there are false alarm
that the parnde has started. Each
time the crowd along Main street
surges Into the street, and up the
street come the huge glided cages full
of cooking utensils and baggage, with
tightly closed side and big sign
warning the crowd to "Beware, Don
gerous." Up conies the den of lions,
with the lady In pluk tight sitting on
n cracker box lu tho midst of them.
Up come the clown, riding on a little
donkey that stops every fifty feet and
kicks up solemnly, while the crowds
roar with laughter. Up comes every
thing belonging to the circus that con
walk or be moved on wheel. Then
the last wagon wlng round the cor
ner and the crowd How Iuto the street
behlud It.
There Is always the awful possibility
that father won't let you go to the cir
cus. Once there wa a small boy In
a eouutry town who had got hold of
,ri0 cents and wanted to go to the circus
so badly that he fairly ached all over.
But his father soldi "No, I don't be
lieve In going to too many circuses.
You're too small to go alone, and I
can't spare the time. You'll have to
stay at home." .
The small boy, desperate With disap
pointment, ran away and went to the
circus with another youih lu similar
straits. They got their ticket, went
In, looked at the animals, and then
took their seats In the circus tent Be
tween the act they looked around
them. Presently the small boy, glanc
ing up, saw his father sitting six rows
higher up. At the same Instuut his
father saw him. Neither of them gnre
any sign of recognition, and neither
referred to the subject afterwards,
Only by the fact that he wa not taken
out into the' wood shed after he got
home was the small boy certain that
he had not been mistaken.
As a rule you didn't stay to "the
grand vocal, instrumental, and terpsl
chorean concert In the main canvas Im
mediately after the conclusion of the
performance." With the afternoon
concert over there wa still the even
ing performance to look forward to,
Then the town relaxed back Into Hs
normal condition.
A Musical Staircase.
A staircase ha Just been Invented
which play tune as It Is walked up
and down upon. A series of pins are
pressed by the feet and play gongs
and drums, while other are connected
with collapsible chambers which blow
trumpet .and other similar Instru
ment. Velocity of the Wind.
At the height of one mile the aver
age velocity of the wind Is four times
as great as at the earth's surface.
Talent Is of no use to the man win
hasn't the courage to use It.
OUK BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND
INGS HERE ANO THERE.
DO-
Joke aud Jokt lot that Are MnpiMMcd
to Hav Bvt Kwtutlx Hura-KajrUa
and lolutbal Art OIJ, Curlou cmJ
LauKhablo-Th Wk' Httnor,
The Mail (In the milliner hop-You
see, my wife hns told me a doseu time
that I'll have to buy Iter a Imt, ninl
I've decided to do It literally. No
the point?
Tho Stileswonmu-tif course! It' too
bud there are not more huslmuds Ilk
you! What sTirt of a hat do you wish
to buy T
Tho Man-Why, the latest spring
style, you know; and -e-r-I'll lie
blown! If I tll.ln't forget to ask her
what ulae she vennt!-l'uck.
Tho Man that Went rUhlna.
"What a line string of fish!" they all
etchiltni'd, as he exhibited hi cali lt.
"I Hd you get all you hooked T
"No," said the limn who hnd leen
angling. "There was one Hint got
away, but 1 wa rather glad of It. It
wasn't half as big as any of llioxo,"
After Hoyal ()ih
Old tieut- What are you lumtliu. my
boy?
(iussTe- I'm looking for one of those
storks. If one of Vol sail over hem
wlih a bnhy I'll Just whig him Hiut
get the kid.--Chicago Now.
Valuable.
Wltherby-Tliat' a nice little wife
you Itnve for your home, old limit. I
mpiHioe Hint Is for your wife' use?
l'hiiiklnton-Not much. Hhe hnsu't
even tho ronihlnnttoti,
Wllherby-You must keep something
very valiinlilo lu It, not even to let
your wife know the combination of It.
rittllkllltc.lt -Vou bet 1 do, 1 kevp all
my collar buttons and shoestring In
that mi fe. Judge,
Th Couk l.aily'a fr'uvnrtte.
Mr. Huuskecp- Ucre't the roast !wf
cooked to dentil agitlli. Can't we ever
have It rare? ,
Mr, Hnuskecp. I'm afruld not. Tho
policeman on this bent like Ills moat
well done. I'hlliiilelphlu Pre.
A Mold ISUUI,
iobb-'hy iliil thnt Itjone girl
blush no furiously at dinner?
Mollis- She's so hum I cut she iluesn'l
even like to see the salmi dressing.
Philadelphia ltecord.
An Interrupted NurmUvi. .
The Houhrellel met a mini who
aw you once In tragedy.
The Comedian -What did lie may
hont It?
The 8onbretteoii! I cut him short.
I don't care for linnl luck storle.
Puck.
Cause uiul KITcct.
"Bunting Is financially emlm missed."
"How did thai happen Y"
"Ills wife's Easter bonnet was sent
home C. O. H." ;
In the lunllal Kolumlu.
iT
The Bride Why do Congressmen 'ab
ways write "Hon." before their mime?
The Groom You would not know
they were unless they did.
The BrldoNot know they were Con
gressmen? The Groom No; houorabfe.
Her Taste.
Mr. Fussy (rearranging the things lu
the parlor) You have wretchedly noor
taste, .my dear. ,.
Mrs. Fussy (resignedly) -That's what
everybody said when 1 murrled you,
Heiiry.-Detmlt Free Press.
For Kcoiinmy' Hake.
Towno-I should think Peck would
object to hi wife posing a a new
woman.
Brown-Not at all, He ha liitliieiwi
her to wear the neckties she bought hi in
for Christina. Philadelphia Press.
Charity.
He Do you think men ought to bo
shot when they nre 4."?
She-No, I think most of them do
serve It eurlier-iilong about the time
they go to college-Chicago ltecord-
Horam.
Uoiiiitfiil,
Collector When shall I call
collect hi bill, sir?
Iiunhnway How do I know? r i,'i
always tell ahead Just when I mvi ink
ing to be out. Life.
The Promt Kit titer,
"He's a beautiful llttlo hoy." th vl.
Itor said. "You must be proud of him."
'1 am,' replied the father. "Ha never
ii id a bright thing lu bis life."
ii i i i i "1 j
A "ever Ptum-k.
'put lln coroner jury asri
wlmt caused llowersox nuil, -o
dealhr
"Ve; It pper that h received a
plumber' bill In hi morning i all."
"But study that did Hot kill hliu?"
"That wu't It. but about noou th
plumber hlniM'lf culled and said tliero
w an overclmrge lu th bill that h
wished to correct."
Camllil Opinion.
"What do you think of Hit new pho
tograph of Amy and myself taken to
gether V aitked Mis lioldthorpe.
"Vour lister take a really handsome
picture," replied Ml Hterllngwortk,
after an Inspection.
Tba Hmtnljr.
"No, lr." declared i!um. a nt
warmed up to hi subject. "You'll ney.
er Ik- happy o long a you ar lu debt
Pay your debt, Hwybck, pay your
debt."
"But I hav no money," said Sway
back. "Then borrow It."
Th Author's Vliih
Author' Little Boy-Papa, what I a
iiinguxliie editor?
Author lot hoiiip repute) Why, he I
I lie ma ti Ii, the uiagnxlue tittle who
print th article ho ought to send
buck, mid send hack th article h
ought to print.-Life.
AI th Novo! I'lay.
lie- I Ktippone, before swing on of
these pliiyn one should rend the book.
She-Yen. Then, In ""tn Clue, ou
might avoid the pluy.-Puck."
Ilrhlud In Mvoaoa.
Madge Trill -The malinger eiu to
think that softie day my vole will
break Hi rci-urd.
Hun ('auntie Pcrhapt If you ilug lu
a phonograph,--I'hlcugo New.
A Mltr,
"la tu a mauler of English?"
"Ye, to Judgo by Hi lluertl h
takes.''
I'rialuilallc Ww,
KlllltU-t'su't I a Uioleas word.
Junes -(h, I don't know. It come In
Imiidy to fill a gap lu the conversation
when a man k you to tunn hint '.
kerf, Whlt"nrf Hla.
"Thar in tut he a woodpile tip to col
lege. Maria."
"Why, Hiram?"
"BecRUe Crawford' on write that
he m-tm our 811a pick In' up chip very
nlKht." j
Ilia Kiurlnr.
Wngleloit - Philosophy, It I ld. will
enable a man to endur almon! any
thing. Wcderly-l don't doubt It Moat phi
luMipher have becu married. Chicago
Sew ,
''I'e Ide'e! lint new preacher er pray
hi' fur ralti-an' me, wife uv on ob d
deacon, too. wld all deo cloe ter
ilr)!"
A Hi rata hi Tip,
Hmlib-lteul estate I about th only
snfu Investment nowaday.
Jiuieih. I don't know. There are
loo ninny umterupuloua men who want
the earth to milk It a snfu thing to lu
vest In,
llaraly Pnaalblo.
K"ftlclghl Mia I'ppton In?
Miild - No, sir. But she told in to
sny If ymi called that It wa very kind
of you.
Sofllelgh-Vcry kind or me! Now,
I wouder what she meant by that?
.Inldl really don't know. lr, but I
think she meant It wa kind of you to
call when she wa out. Chicago
New,w
His I'.tperlanct.
"Yon can't Imagine," said the musl
enl young woman, "how distressing It
Is w lien a sMiger realises that ho ha
lust her voice."
"Perhaps not," replied the man. "but
I've got a fair Idea, of bow distressing
It Is when she doesn't realise It."
1'hlhidelphla Press.
lllitn't Uo Tit round 111 Pocketa.
"My dear, you must have slept very
soundly lust ulghl,"
"Why?"
"I left a dollar note In my trousers
pocket last night and It wa mill there
this morning."
A toiled fur It.
Customer-You've cut my hair
short.
Barber- Mltall I put a little of
"hair restorer" on It, lr?
too
our
Partly Naw.
Visitor-That painting I by an old
master, I see.
Mr, McHhoddle (apologellcolly)-Y-e-s,
but the framo 1 new. New
York Weekly.
Havana Htreet Car.
One of the principal feature of the
Americanising of lluvaua ha beeu the
Introduction of electric cars. There
wero formerly about tlx miles of track
In tho capital, but the equipment, con
sisting of Utile, bob-tailed car aud
crawny, undersized mules, did not
combine to make a service worthy of
enthusiastic mention. When the truck
was lengiheued out to tweuty-four
tulles and Wizard Edison's big electric
flyers put on, nil of Havana' two hun
dred and fifty thousand Inhabltaut
wanted to ride at once. One of tho pe
culiarities of tho service Is tho tenden
cy of the motorninu to run ahead of tho
schodulo. They tear through tho nar
row, crooked street at a rate that Is
exceedingly duugerous. The frequency
of fatalities doc not Bcem to bavo the
desired effect These yellow fellow
are strangers to the nutomatlo brake.
They have boon so uceiiHtomed to driv
ing steeds that have to be urged by
the coiiHtant application of whip and
pur, that they seem to have no fear
ot ouo that will run away. A a conse
queiice, the Havana street cars put Ui
lsluud express train to shamo.
Hani In I'traao,