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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (May 21, 1922)
la T1TE SUNDAY OREGONIAN PORTLAND, MAT 21, 1922 CURRENT HAPPENINGS PICTORIALLY PRESENTED BY DARLING KXT TIME WR WISH TBSY'&TELt t!$ ADVANCE. OpB TENDER HEARTED JTJDCE$ HOLDING CP THE GftAND MARCH. tn?iTrti,lrly.riii"Mi( Jii. 'M' ' i 'n-MVn -i i '" " "' 1 j er abd ermyvrnH .kkvbrai. mu-lioms V Kmse-ripi CHixwsti rnen m ajLTOKB'tnifiajrrsTntf'TB Wwt-Vtfmr m vi Kim. bato otibh oR Af way' t ."WHV.FJND the defendant guilty- j . ASSjMVT Ajn BURGLARY IM SttMTcP 2$&So$ AMD RECOMMEND TH& I eVt&eme penalty o TwetXvJ . 10 YEARS 10 -gWMOBDDOflllflODtf J - ft! j !M OftDER THAT THIS TENDED HEARTED; NNOCEN'g DEPRNt,0 OP HIS RIGHT TO UfcRTY,Nt ?-lTH PURSUIT OP WIS LIFES ") J) ( wnRK- DBwhiWrt. AM APPEAL. 1 WE BE3 THAT THE CflOIT Bono as po&siGib avt bono as txGLB c-r ymm KPB0P8 IS iOOKJNO SQKVAR& 07 80W1Fy HAS VEST SEASON 50METB3JJ0 THEY.ALV RECQGNKB, -ANOTHER OCCUPATION THAT IS BADLY OVERMAXXEO. GIRLS AT FILM SHOW TALK OF LADY ASTOR'S MISSION Mabel and Myrtle Discuss Possibility That Women. Will Take Over Job of Law-Making in America. BT JAMUS 3. MONTAGUE. Scene: The movies. . Persons: Mabel, Myrtle, MABEL, That's that Lady Astor that got elected to congress in London. Myrtle They don"t have no con gress in London. London's a kingdom. Mabel Well, she got elected to whatever they have. Myrtle J epose she got elected to the royal family or somethin'? Mabel Don't try to be so funny. They got a place over there where they make laws and all, Just like congress, an' she got elected to it. Myrtle How could she be over here If she was in congress? She'd have to be over there and object to the things, wouldn't she? Mabel She's come over here at the orders .of the queen, to prove that imen. is weaker than women. I saw -where she said that in the papers. Myrtle Swell chance she's got of provln' that! If men was -weaker than women they'd be bossing the country, wouldn't they? Mabel Well, that's what this now Lady Astor wants 'em to do She says as soon as they know their strength they'll be bosses of everything. Myrtle Sounds silly to me men stronger than women? Ja ever see Mary Pickford standin' on hex hands on a cliff and throwin' desperadoes offa railroad engines like Doug Fair banks? Mabel Well, o' course they ain't had no practice yet. Myrtle Lotta good ' practice'll do 'em. Just imagine yourself gettin' into the ring with this here Jack Dempsey an' tryin' to bust him on, the Jaw. Tou could practice a thousand years and never do that. ' Mabel Oh, well, she don't mean just physical strength. She means they got more courage. An' I see where a editor says she's right about it. Myrtle I don t care what no editor ays. They ain't got naff the courage a mans got. Just imagine a big. husky. d loo kin' onder a bed to see if they were a burglar there, or climbin' up the bureau when a mouse come into the room! Women ain't got r.o real courage an' if they had they'd be ashamed to show It, for the men wouldn't think they could protect 'em an' feel so brave when they was around. , Mabel That's just the Idea. Lady Astor says that women is stronger because they know enough to make the men think that the men are stronger an' get swelled up and look down on 'em an' pity 'em and be kind to 'em. ' Myrtle That's too deep for me. I know I ain't stronger than Tommy, an' If I was to tell him I was instead of makin' him think I was lookin' up to him all the time he might get sore on me an' wallop me somethin' fierce. Mabel Gee, but you're dumb! You're just provin' what Lady Astor is tryin' to prove that men are a lot of saps, and if it wasn't for us women handin' 'em the ear oil all the time they'd never have the nerve to be movie actors or floor walkers or presidents or kings or nothin'. ' She says women is really runnin' the world an' the men don't know it Myrtle Well, it women is runnin' the world already, what does she want to take a vacation an' come over here an' make 'em run it for? Mabel She wants 'em to. know they're runnin' it, and-to git the credit for it an hold the jobs, and make money an all. Myrtle Say,, look-a-here! I been lookin' for a chance to let go the job I gotfor three years now, an' when I can find the guy that will pay the meal checks, I'm gonna do it. They ain't no London woman from congress going to make me think that I oughta be holdin' to any job. That's a man's business. 1 Mabel Thaf s what you say! But men don't run nothin'' right. Looka the crime wave an' the Volstead law, an' the Genoa conference an" every thing they're responsible for. Women wouldn't wish nothin' like them on the couoitry. Myrtle But I thought you said Lady Astor said women was runnin' the world as things Iz. Mabel Well, she did. Only ehe thinks they're too kind hearted to the men and let 'era do a lot of foolish law-making an', start wars an' get us all in a lotta trouble, (She wants all us women to get into congress an' fix up everything right, Myrtle Well, if you should happen to see Lady Astor wajkin' down the avanuh, you just say to her for roe that I ain't goin' to run for congress, an' you tell her that if there's a king, or a duke, or anything over there that wants a wife of a savin' disposition, and her own hair an' com plexion, and can buy her some good lookin'-Clothes an' be a good husband to hei? he'll have a chance to keep one woman out o'-congress anyway. Copyright by the Bell Snydteate, Inc.) Biiglai bdtiiiLs tit: ike Uiildr oil JLNE went to church the first time last Sunday. Her deepest impres sion was that she must keep quiet When passing the church the follow ing day she said, "That is the be still place." . - M. S. -' Aunty just finished baking cokioes. Harold came in from play and the cookies disappeared rapidly. "I suppose I shall have to hide the cookies again," remarked Aunty. "All right," said Harold gloomily, but added with face brightening, "Next time you bake cookies, . Aunty, can't you double the receipt And just hide half of them?" C. L. Jimmy was Visiting his aunt, who was a good cook, and he . enjoyed every meal. One day after an un usually good dinner, he glanced at his three eousins, who were fat and rosy, and said, "I know now why you got such fat kids." W. W. C m m 9 . My young cousin who had been scolded often for asking for some thing to. eat when at other people's homes was one day visiting her aunt. Noticing some cookies in the kitchen, and fearing to ask ror one in the presence of her sister, when oppor tunity afforded she whispered to her i aunt, "Don't say anything now- but pretty soon say, 'Dorothy, wouldn't! you like a cookie?"' E. W. A. When I came home from the office one night recently Betty had on a new dress her. mother had made for her that day. -"Why," I said," "I don't believe I ever saw that dress before Betty." "Course not," she said. "It was just borned today." . C. A. R." . . Harold was playing football when he heard his father calling. The boys urged him to stay and finish the game, but he replied,.- "Can't stop, kids, when he talks in that voice." J. S. Marjorie Is at my heels most of the time .' On one particular trip to the base ment, daughter following, as usual, I turned saying, "I do wish you would stop following me." "I'm not following you; i'm going with you," she said reproachfully. .: .. C, I. S. . "A big' sixth-grade boy came along today, when Dick and I were playing marbles," said Arthur to his mother, "and swiped two shooters and a pee wee from Dick." "Well, Dick should have told his teacher about it," said Arthur's mother. "Huh! Tell teacher T Arthur ex claimed, "she swipes them too." E, M, S. One of our neighbors took her small daughter to a museum. . Upon her re turn I asked her what ehe had seen. She said, "O, a dead circus." . L. F. - Ben always had wanted a brother, but when twins arrived and one of them was a girl,., he exclaimed in a disappointed tone, "I didn't want a sister, too. She'll spoil all our fun. She'll want to tag us men folka everywhere we go." V. H. . Tommy, who is i, was walking on the street one day and saw a man limping along with the aid of a cane, whereupon he exclaimed: "Oh, mother, see that man with an umbrella with out any curtain around it." -.', - -While 4-year-old Eddie was visit ing his aunAes, his. cousin's beau came calling. - Fete w&s a big, stout young and was employed at the local livery , barn and had his sleeping quarters in the office of the building. Eddie, with all the curiosity of the small boy, walked up to Pete, whom he had never seen before, and the following conversation took place: Eddie: "My name is Eddie. What is yours?" Pete: "My name is Pete." Eddie: "Where do you liver' Pete: "I live up town at the livery barn." Pete was getting rather amused by this time, eo he said: "I sleep, in the barn with the horses. don't you think I look like a horse?" Eddie looked at him for a while and then in a serious tone replied: "No, you don't exactly look like a horse, but you sure do smell like one." MRS. L. M. T. Hilton's mother was expecting com pany and was getting her baking done and had several pies baked. The little boy was watching her and his mouth watered for some of the pies, of which he was very fond. At last he would shut his eyes for a while and then when he would open them he would let out quite a sigh and wet his lips with his tongue until finally his mother asked him what was the matter with him, and Hilton answered: "Mother." I keep shutting my eyes so as not to see 'em, but it ain't no use, for every time I shut my eyes I can still see pies." MRS. L. M. T. I
