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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 18, 1920)
THE SUNDAY OltEGONIAN, PbRTLAND, JANUARY 18, 1920 DOLORES SHOW GIRL BE LUXE BY HELEN BULLITT LOWRY The- World Is One Dry Place Says This Entertainer As She Casts v Languorous Eyes Across the City From Her Housetop of Gayety - tat-'- r - :.w: . : - ; w -i ,- -- - V V 'I ' ' ' "' r"C , " '-ll & . - h . ' - ; ' Hill . , , v; A'.v x . v.--! i i - J r- . v t , .v ' , V - ' - S I Dolores tells me, as well as ths ward- f 'a - v v . " s;" ' 1,4, I robo mistress, who has watched ehow s-? -w3 " x-.-w..-11' - . V NV 1 I "I recognize perfectly that the show WHY, oh why, didn't some prac tical scribe In Bag-dad get around to Interviewing the prize show girls In Mr. Ziegfeld Al Eachid's chorus n Just how the world, really looked to them when they j peeped at It through their marble lattices? It might have made even more surprising r ug than do those Inside harem revelatione, preserved In the back files of the first woman's page, edited by Scheherazade. , Lest a like philosophic secret be wallowed up by the dusty centuries, I have hastened to e- .hem all about It In best ehow girl circles on the Ziegfeld roof. First said I to Dolores, how &iri uo iuio of modern times: "And how does the. world look to you, proud .eauty, when you turn those disdainful eyes out across the city from your housetop?" .."Dry, replies Dolores. Only she does not say it flippantly.. She says It earnestly intellectually. For Dol ores is a great thinker. She told me so herself, and that's how I know It. "Thinking" U her favorite indoor port. "Dry," reply Jessie and Dorothy and Olive and . Alta, In whose dressing room I watched the "close-ups" of metamorphoses. "You have to work eo blamed hard to get across." Dolores, who receives star-like priv lieges even If she has never been known to move the lower half of her face in public, received me In her private dressing room. Dolores Is en tirely altruistic In her protest. "It Is for the sake of the poor work Ing man deprived of his beer that I resent this law," she grinds out pas eionately through her beautiful white teeth. (She really can speak, circum stantial evidence -to the contrary and very nice English, too, with quaint "damns" thrown In with a British accent. Just to prove that she Is a Ziegfeld beauty yes, even if she does wear a tweed walking suit and woolen stockings and flat heels). "As for me, I detest wild partles and yet I would return to free England, If I did not have to earn money for my family In th.is prohibition country." And at that she pulled out of her leather sailor hat the most convinc ing Invalid father, aged mother and war-worn sister that ever a theatrical person presented to the world even through the hardy medium of a press agent. I began to support my family when I was 14," states Dolores simply Jusfc as if no office boy's grandmother had ever been buried on the day of the baseball game. "That is why my outlook bn , life is serious. X knew responsibility ao young." And as she speaks she looks at me out of such nice Trilby-like eyes that I read in their truthful depths that I have done her injustice and that there had been a tall, big-eyed -little girl staggering under the load of re sponsibility. She was a model then in the London establishment of Lady Duff-Gordon a raw-boned English girl. v. "No on but Lady Duff-Gordon would have seen possibilities In me. She trained me herself because she believed that I could be made spec tacular. She would stand me against the wall to straighten my back for an hour I might stay there, trying eo hard, and the minute I stepped away from my support my neck would thrust forward and my shoulder blades would touch. We would al most weep together, because we both knew that I was trvlnar no hard. "Then one day she found the way you see she always believed In me. She told me to walk with books on my head. Just as our grandmothers did. Try it I wish that all girls In America would try It. You would have a race of women who would walk with the free and noble carriage of the Arab women, who bears her j water Jar upon her head. It takes! patience many hours are required to gain the poise which comes from a beautiful carriage." And by the way, off stage Dolores' stately walk becomes an out-of doorsy, vigorous stride where she ceaees to be a dusky Spaniard and becomes a yellow-haired Saxon girl. "a natuVal blonde." Suddenly, though, she remembers that she is being' Interviewed and states conscientiously that she adores her dog. But her opinions become personal again when the subject of clothes is mentioned. "It Is such Joy to me to wear the beautiful costumes, which are as much works of art as a painting. I thrill proudly that in my hands is the fate of the artist's creation. Some nights I am conscious that I have walked well again I know that I did not do credit to the art intrusted to my care ana l am sorry, more for the arllst's sake han for my own, You see, Dolores takes clothing as well as herself seriously. "That is because I watched their slow creation when I was a young. Impres sionable girl. A shiver positively runs through me whea I see the girls drop ' the lovely things upon the floor. I cannot buy the clothes that I like. The dream of my life is a chinchilla coat." She turned to me with a quick, girlish, interested gesture. "I am so glad that your neckpiece is chin chilla. But my, responsibilities are eo heavy and money positively slips through my fingers it is perfectly terrible. So I never expect to have my coat. But I find happiness In my beautiful peacock robe. It was a wonderful moment when' they first brought It to me and I realized that it was mine mine. I had been" impatient to see It. I thought that the boat would never come that was to' .bring it from Paris. I have worn it two months now without dry-cleaning and It is as fresh as vestry robes. Not so the four lesser show girls in dressing room 33, "To get any real kick out of this blue dress. I'd have to get my hands on It for a private party," smiles Dor othy, who smiles nicely. "But you Just try to make a get-away some night and see what happens." "Some excitement the first time yon get fitted." Olive's Chinese costume slides negligently to the dusty floor, and I am glad that Dolores is not present to suffer. "You see yourself in a gray cotton lining, and, if you're in bad, they won't even tell you what color your dress Is going to be. It's about as exciting as these" at which she brings up a pair of black, woolen loggings. . But Jessie cannot take even clothes seriously this evening, because on her throat hangs a fortune a new dia mond. She throws a negligee' about her and slips into Dolore' room. "Look! Do look!" It is so magnifi cent that it excites even a Ziegfeld dressing room, where diamonds are not so rare as In other dressing rooms Bay those attached to Y. V. C A. swimming pools. Dolores tries It crit- ically on her forehead on her throat. Just below the chin and finally Do lores decides that to set it in a ring will be best. The whole cast is gen erously congratulating Jessie on her luck. Jessie sees the world tonight through prisms. "Lands! She's Just trembling all over with excitement," confides the wardrobe mistress, who Is fastening up Dolores "perfect Jewel" gown of black. "And Jessie deserves it if any body ever did, because she's got the sweetest disposition. Now, Dolores here, she's got an elegant disposition, but I could tell you about some" al which she closes her mouth firmly and says that she "ain't going to, though. "Some of them wastes their best years," the wardrobe mistress glances severely at her charge. "But I guess most of them gets rich husbands salt ed away while they're still good. ' If they waits too long there's nothing for them to do but get passed on to cheaper shows on the road, like these here dresses will next season." The show girl, indeed, looks out from her high roof and she sees only ten years before her at least so Dolores tells me, as well as the ward robe mistress, who has watched ehow girls come and show girls go. "I recognize perfectly that the show girl end of the stage has no future to It. TVe haven't histrionic ability and we don't delude ourselves about any visionary career." She gave a Jolly laugh, for Dolores has a nice, tom boylsh way about her when ehe is not posing as a white peacock or a slinky black vamp. "I'm here because I have looks, and I won't have enough looks after 30 to be here." So Dolores would really like to get married and stop work some years before Cinderella's clock chimes that fatal hour of 30. But It would not pay to answer the advertisement this week, because Dolores 13 in love this week with a person 40 years old. He's in Paris at present and "not a damn bit like those foolish rich boys, that are always bragging about being drunk last night." Dolores does not like them to do that It bores her horribly. In dress ing room 33 they don't like it, either. Jessie comes out of her prism conning tower for a minute to remark that Bud never does that." That's one reason why she likes Bud. "And then nobody could say that Bud was a tightwad" " taking another look at the world through her diamond,. Being a tightwad is the thing I can't tolerate, and bragging about getting drunk is the next worst,' yawns Olive. There are some other things that bore Dolores. She's rather tired of having them tell her that ehe is beau tiful. Also they bore her very much If they do not "think." Dolores real ly reads the "highest brow" morning paper in New York, and can chat about leagues of nations as carelessly as she would about lip-sticks. There Is "another paper," too, behind the scenes of the Ziegfeld world besides the Morning Telegraph. The mother of one of the "ponies" takes it. "It's a cracking yellow sheet." says the pony, "and ehe reads it and tells me all about everything, so I'm up on events." Dolores feels co strongly on this vital subject of brains that she men tions it even to the callboy when he summons her five minutes late (by Dolores' clock) for the Dearest num ber. "It's not your damn heart I ob ject to; it's your damn head." And at that Dolores had to run it anything so long and beautiful and black-robed and svelte may be said to run. "Sakes alive!" cries the wardrobe mistress, "if Dolores ain't lett off part of her costume." I long to glance out on thp world my3e!f and sec Dolores" reception with a part of her costume missing but am reassured to find that it is not an "essential industry" but only a Jewel. To speak truth, tho world Just on the outside of the peacock curtains is tho section of it that means the whole of it to the show cirl. "Ddes your work ever bora your" I had asked Dolores. "Oh, no for tnere is always my audience a different one every night. And then" she almost blushes "the adulation is sort of Intoxicating, you know. I can tell whether my entrance has been good by the breathless pause mora than by the applause. But I'm afraid that I can't claim really to think when I'm on stage." (You must not forget that Bo'.ores is a thinker, and honestly prefers the brand of pa'rtv popularly labeled Darn Sit Arounds and historically known as salons.) Check your brains outside, dearie. and pull a smile when you round the curve, is the way tnai uiive eiintiso tho same "emotion." "Birds number," cries the callboy's voice from without, and tho four ehow girls of 33 rise to their etatcly height. "Wait tintil we get back We're going to have a spread." It might have been a boarding school Instead of a Zeig feld Roof. "Alta's made a cake she's some slick cook. Say, didn't you know Alta was married and set tled? Oh, Land!" So Alta's outlook, even from the ZieSfcld P.oof. includes a kitchen stove. And thn and not until then did I learn the dark secret of Dolores, vampire show girl of the Ziegfeld Harem. The marble traceries of her window let her peep out upon a "del icately reared" side street. It's only a furnished room. And the Irish land lady protects her as her own daugh ter. Dolores told me so herself. So maybe, .fter all. It's Just as well that Scheherazade didn't "cover" that harem Interview. The ladies might have gone and spoiled tho whole story. FIELD OF POLITICS DEVELOPS ABILITY FOR QUICK RETORT Members of Congress Frequently Have Occasion for Sharp Words Which Answer for Extended Arguments Sugar-Coated Criticism Used in Lieu of Harsh Terms Avoids Trouble. SHAKESPEARE made his admir the more or less pleasant custom ably wise fool Touchstone divide of giving one's adversary the lie into seven classes, ranging from the retort courteous to the lie direct. The field of politics, it would appear, is more prolific in famous instances of retort than any other.. I An illustration of the nimble and caustic wit of Alexander II. Stephens of Georsia in a house debate, oc curred on the floor of that body in a heated argument with Robert Toombs, also of Georgia. Stephens, although possessed of one of the most power ful brains of hia time, was lame and w izened of body. Toombs was one of tho largest men Inthe house, and was of a blustering, spluttering type. He had argued with Stephens until he was hoarse, and became so exasper ated that he threatened to fight. However, consideration of the size of his opponent deterred him, and turn ing, he said: "I won't fight you, but I could swallow you whole." Whereupon Stephens quickly re torted: "If you did you would have more brains in your stomach than you ever had In your head." General Charles H. Grosvenor, representative from Ohio, was the Jrero of a hundred wordy battles in the house of representatives. He had a luxurious snow-white beard and caustio tongue. One day William D. Vandiver launched into a furious at- tack upon "the gentleman from Ohio,' and Champ Clark, nearby, innocently innuired. "Which gentleman from Ohio?" The Missourian shook his finger at General Grosvenor and re plied: "I mean the gentleman from Ohio who looks like Santa Claus and talks like Satan." Senator Ingalls rr TOnrni ivns- at tuckjuff Generals. MvCieHau unu iiutt cock, who were afterwards demo-1 cratic candidates for the presidency. Senator Blackburn of Kentucky arose and interrupted: "When General George B. McClellan was leading the armies of his country and when General Winfleld Scott Hancock lay wounded by the enemy's bullets under the flag "of his country, the senator from Kansas, in the ca pacity of Judge advocate-general, was prosecuting noncombatant Pawhawk ers for robbing hen roosts." In tho old days Tom Marshall and one Graves were rival candidates for congress in the blue grass region of Kentucky. Marshall was an' aristocrat. Groves was the son of a cooper, and he was always making an appeal to the "peepul" by boasting of the hum ble occupation of his father. Marshall found it was hurting his chances and he decided to stop It by the counter check quarrelsome. In reply to Graves he said: "My opponent boasts of the humble calling of his father. For aught I know his father may have been a good cooper, but It is easy to see that he put a mighty poor head on this whisky barrel," clapplpg his hand on Graves' head. Tennessee had two great orators in me omen aays Anarew Jackson, a democrat, once president of the United States, and Gustavus A. Henry, a whig known as the "Eagle Orator of the South." They ran against each other lor me governorsnip, and when a long series of Joint debates had reached its close, Jackson addressed the whigs in the audience: "I have spoken with the boasted eagle orator from the Mississippi river to the Unaka mountains, and as yet I see no flesh in his talons or any blood on his beak." Quick as a iflubh, Henry was on his feet saying: "The American eagle is a proud bird and feeds not on carrion." Champ Clark Tells Story. Champ Clark, in a speech on civil service reform, told a story of a sharp retort to an examination question propounded by tho civil service board. A man was applying for a Job to run an elevator. He was asked "How many t?oops did England send to the colonies during the revolutionary war?" His reply was "A d n sight more than ever went back." Lemuel Ell Quigg and James Ham ilton Lewis, two of the most pictur esque men ever In congress, were having, a debate on the subject 'of trusts. Mr. Quigg, who was from New York, was openly defending the trusts. At the close of one of his fiery periods, Mr. Lewis interjected with fine Intonation: "For the ox knoweth his owner and the ass his master's crib." Ingalls vwas always quick in retort. although he was himself the subject of some sharp sallies. Once he was attacked by Senator Ell Saulsbury, of Delaware, the second smallest state in the union. He disposed or the whole matter by saying: "I thank the senator from that great state which has three counties at low tide and two counties at high tide for his advice." The effect of parliamentary pro cedure under certain conditions Is 11 lustrated by a story told of the Georgia legislature of the days before the civil war. James Hamilton Cooper was speaking and made a remarkable statement of fact. A modest legislator exclaimed half under his breath "Whew! What a thundering lie Cooper suspended his speech, having overheard the remark, and challenged the offender to a duel. A court of honor was arranged, and the result was that Cooper jj-ave permission to the luckless legislator to modify his remark. The correction was made in this manner: "Mr. Speaker, In an inadvertent moment I referred to a remark' made by the honorable gentlemen as a 'thundering lie. I desire to withdraw that statement and in lieu thereof will say, 'It is a fulminating enlarge ment of elongated veracity.'" Thus sugar-coated the speech gave no occasion for a duel. Populist Is Slleaced. During the free silver campaign In 1806 the republican party employed a number of monologue actors to go through Kansas entertaining audi ences by mixed programmes of jokes and speeches on the monetary ques tion. In one town a monologue man was emphasizing the fact that in order' to' be good money any currency must contain its face value In precious metaL At this point an aged populist. with long whiskers, arose In the audi ence and holding up a dollar bill in his hand said: "Do you mean to tell me, sir, that the stamp of the great American gov ernment on this piece of paper does not make it worth one dollar?" The actor "went back" at him in stantly: "Do you think, my friend, that If you printed the -word "hay on your whiskers your cows would eat em?" Thomas B. Reed was a master of all degrees of retort. Once when Jerry Simpson, the sockless statesman from Kansas, made a speech claiming that the house had by some action violated the constitution, the speaker over ruled him and was upheld by the house. Mr. Simpson then arose and solemnly Inquired of the chair: "Where am I at?" Whereupon Sir. Reed scathingly ro- divine the answer to such a baffling question." One of Reed's most amusing thrusts was delivered at William S. Holmanr a member from Indiana. It was, per haps the keenest witticism ever ut tered in debate on the floor of the house. Holman was a constant objector to the expenditure of money by congress. and had honestly earned the title of Watchdog of the Treasury." One day. when the committee was perfunctorily "putting through a number of bills for the erection of government buildings In various cities, Holman waa con stantly on his feet objecting to their consideration. But when Indiana was reached, and the committee began to propose appropriations for bultdlngs In the towns of that state, Holman'B objections came with much less spirit, and finally ceased altogether. When at length a bill was offered that car ried generous appropriation for a building in Holman's own town, he rose and expressed hearty approval. Hardly had he taken his seat when Reed was on his feet- "Mr. Speaker," he shouted; and then, in gently senti mental .tones, he recited Byron s familiar lines: Tls tweet to hear the watchdog's honest bark Bay deep-monthed welcome as. we draw near home. And the "great objector" forgot to object any more that day. AUTOMATIC PHONE MADE BY CRAZY UNDERTAKER Delusion That Phone Girls Had Conspired Against His Business Leads i to Invention, but Finally Drives Chicago Man Insane. I B the hello girl soon to become ob solete a thing of the past? Are we to be deprived of the question able pleasure of being told by a dulcet-voiced maiden, after -waiting pa tiently for an indefinite period, that the wire is "busy" or that "the party don't answer"? It now seems so, and there are those who are not sorry. The fact is that ever since the early days of the war hello girls have ap parently deteriorated; besides, they have been hard to obtain, many hav ing turned to other occupations. Con sequently the telephone service In most all the large cities has been poor, often to the point of exaspera tion. During the war most folks aloe;! U JLiUiuut ecr,lou protest, as there was seemingly' nothing, else to do, but in recent months the big tele phone companies have been deluged with complaints from subscribers and phone users as to the indifference of the service, until it has become evi dent that something must be done; but. If more and better girls are not to bo had, what? In answer, not long since, the New York Telephone xompany made an In teresting announcement to Its thou sands of subscribers when It stated that automatic telephone switch boards will be used exclusively in three big new exchanges It Is shortly to open, and If they wcrk out, as it confidently Is expected, then good-bye to. the hello girl, not only In New Yur.k tut elscrtUcrOj In, Fprtlaud, too, a gradual change to me automatic system is planned. Thus it would seem that an idea the automatic switchboard born some 30 years ago in the twisted brain of a crary undertaker, was about to be called upon to solve one of the great problems of the day better telephone service and. Incidentally, to bid good-bye to tho hello girls. He was crazy, this Chicago under taker named Strowger there can be no doubt of that. What sane man of his calling would have conceived the idea that the girls in the telephone ex change had formed a conspiracy to di vert from him business coming over the telephone? Yet it was tills delu sion which drove him to contrlvo an automatic device which would elimi nate the girls, who, he believed, woro robbing him of his business. With such rough material as he had at hand. Including nails driven Into an old plank, he built a model which would actually operate. Strowger died in an asylum, driven into madness by what became in him an uncontrollable obsession, but he had succeeded when men highly trained as electrical engineers had failed and given to the world an in vention now apparently destined to revolutionize the telephone practice of four continents. Before the final breakdown of all the faculties of bis unhappy mind some men of business had become interested in his project and an automatic telepuono company had been formed to carry on tho work. So It Is that tho wonderfully com plex mechanism erf today, which picks out automatically and unerringly the one of perhaps 10,000- telephone sub scribers whose number you indicate is but the big brother of that model of wood and nails made o0 years ago by the luckless undertaker. How the gods must laugh on their far-off mountain at tho 1 tier Irony of a fate which gave to Strowger :t divine gift of thought, the power of inventing a machine detinrd to mill to the convenience and comlm i o millions of people, but carried with it J,ho curse of. madness.