The Sunday Oregonian., June 13, 1915, SECTION THREE, Page 6, Image 38

G
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MKTLAM), SCNDAT, JCXB 13, 1915.
COMMON SENSE FOR COMMON WEALTHS.
Kansas has had but one Democratic
Governor, George H. Hodges, who
went into office in fateful 1,912 by the
handsome plurality of thirty-one votes.
As is characteristic of fluke statesmen,
Mr. Hodges looks with alarm upon
certain peculiarities of government in
America, and, being an ex-Governor,
finds no difficulty in getting his opin
, ions into print no matter how shal
low his reasoning.
In the current number of the Sat
urday Evening Post Mr. Hodges dis
cusses "Common Sense for Common
wealths," with an abandonment of
common seas .that is . interesting, if
not instructive. The legislative branch
of government common to all states
is inefficient, not to say. disgraceful,
according to the former executive of
Kansas.
The funny paragrapher has enabled
Mr. Hodges to clinch his argument,
such as it is. - The observant will re
call that the end of a legislative ses
sion has long been, one of the six best
themes for the hard-driven humorist
of the newspapers and has even been
grasped by the Saturday Evening Post
when in, an amiable mood. As al
most anything can be proved by the
press columns devoted to the lighter
vein, it may ' be imagined that Mr.
Hodges has made out quite a success
ful case so far as cumulative evidence
counts.
Mr. Hodges is one of those theorists
who subscribe wholly to forms and
technicalities." Hasty, Ill-digested leg
islation and the buffoonery that some
times creeps into the chambers of
lawmakers could be easily dispensed
with by electing a unicameral body
of small membership who would be
paid high salaries and work all the
time, he believes. His Idea of the
size of the Kansas Legislature is about
sixteen members, or about the equiva
lent, we presume, of the membership
of the appropriations or ways and
means committee of the present body.
It seems to have escaped his observa
tion that so far as appropriations are
concerned we now have the essence
of commission government.
Obviously - it is Impossible for the
entire membership to visit institu
tions. Investigate departments and go
over the requests item by item. So
the work Is intrusted to a committee
selected with exceptional care. . The
Legislature adopts the committee's
recommendations, as a matter of form,
and because it is required to do so by
the constitution.
One of the ' leading indictments
against the Kansas Legislature pre
sented by the former Governor Is con
fusion and lack of attention attend
ing the final passage of the main ap
propriation bills. From his account
the procedure in this particular was
unseemly at the last session, but even
so, if the committee had performed
its work with thoroughness the wel
fare of the state would not suffer
more than if the appropriations were
adopted by a commission. Silly con
duct by the Legislature Is properly
condemned but the real test is the
efficiency of the -committee or com
mission, as the case may be. Mr.
Hodges is shocked by the uproar which
attended the mere formality of adopt
ing the recommendations of a pre
sumably earnest and careful commit
tee. Therefore he suggests a change
in government, but his proposal when
analyzed means only that a mere for
mality would be discontinued. The
same number of men would originally
pass on appropriations as at present.
Their decisions would go to the peo
ple direct, instead of first to an in
termediary body which does nothing
but affix an O. K. In a perfunctory
manner.
The questions may arise, Why bother
with a large legislative body when a.
fraction of the members do the work?
Why riot cut off the useless and erect
a. commission as Mr. Hodges suggests?
If the Legislature had no other duties
than to pass on current appropria
tions there would not be much argu
ment for retaining that body as part
of the governmental machinery. But
there Is other legislation must other
legislation to the proper enactment
of which representation, not only of
opinions; but of localities. Is essential.
It Is remarkable that a man who has
had Mr. Hodges' opportunity to ob
serve legislators can think of no way
to gain improvement than to reform
the superficialities of number, sal
ary and length of service. If the peo
ple 'can. be induced to elect good men
to the Legislature the Important work
that devolves upon committees will be
capably performed. Election of fit
men. would be Just as necessary to the
success of a state commission.
We are confident that there is a
way to improve the personnel of the
Legislature without abolishing or over
turning anything, and improvement in
quality is the one thing that is really
worth while. As a first aid in that
direction a more careful weighing of
the good and bad accomplished and
less proneness sweepingly to condemn
on the testimony of the callow and of
the chronic fault finders would do
much to encourage men of worth and
standing to accept positions In the
Legislature. At present a man so
timorous as to engage in lawmaking
risks honor and reputation, not be
cause of what he may do, but because
he thereby becomes a popular target
for slingers of slander and perpetra
tors of meaningless jests. It is no
wonder those who seek the office are
often men who are addicted to horse
play. Had Mr. Bryan been permitted to
have the credit for the notes which
bore , his name he might have borne
it with patience, but he was denied
even this consolation. When the
President shut himself up to prepare
the Lusitania note, his movements
were publllshed In much detail. The
reporters "do not dog a President's
footsteps; what they write is based on
information they receive," says Mr.
Thompson, leaving it to be inferred
that the President was willing that
the people know he was solving the
problem himself, with no aid from
Mr. Bryan. The latter confirmed this
impression, for, the Lusitania having
been destroyed on Friday, he said on
Saturday he had not only not seen
the President but had not heard from
"by wire or wireless." Then followed
the presentation of the note to the
entire Cabinet before Mr. Bryan had
seen it, the rejection of his one
amendment, and the wide publicity
given to the fact that he wrote only
one word of the note the signature.
LONG ENOUGH ?
President Wilson and Secretary
Bryan parted as friends. The world
was ostentatiously informed that their
differences .were irreconcilable, but
that their personal relations were un
alterable,' There has been nothing so
touching or interesting about the
White House since the familiar days
of "Will" and "Theodore," who were
also friends.
But wfe wonder what will happen
when Ex-Secretary Bryan, brushing
up his ideas for the campaign of 1916,
runs across the following meaty dec
laration on the Democratic platform of
1912:
We favor a single Presidential term, ami
to that end urge the adoption of an amend
ment to the- Constitution making the Presi
dent of the United States ineligible for re
election, and we pledge the candidate of
this convention to this principle.
Mr. Bryan knows It is there, for,
with great thoughtf ulness, he put it
there. As an anchor to the windward
it may perform steadfast service for
our statesmen-out-of-a-job. It may
be argued that it doesn't mean any
thing, but Mr. Bryan knows better.
One term as President seems quite
long enough to a man who has not
had any term.
PATRIOTIC DAY,
Some one at Washington the Fed
eral commissioner of education pro
poses that the coming Fourth of July
shall be "Americanization day." The
Fourth is always the great American
day, but just at this time it is planned
to make it something more. There
is no need to count napes so as to
ascertain whether all who avow their
American citizenship in any test would
stand by the flag. Nor is American
patriotism Just now in any special
jeopardy for want of proper stimulus
or appreciation.
But there is value to association of
patriots where through mingling of
minds and exhibition of ideals the
common basis for their patriotism may
be examined and understood.
We should like to have it arranged
that on' that day the President of the
United States make a patriotic speech;
and we should like to see his example
followed by every Governor of an
American state and by every Mayor
of an American city. We should like
to hear also from the presidents of
all the Important societies which are
organized to keep alive in America
a filial sentiment for their respective
fatherlands. Not one of them but
may have a message to deliver and
none of them should be overlooked.
They are patriots, too, and they have
the same zealous purpose to perpetu
ate the republic by upholding its ideals
and preserving its Integrity that any
of us may have.
It is always well to remember the
Fourth of July; but this is a particu
larly good year for a celebration.
FARM PROFITS.
One of the Agricultural College stu
dents, Roy E. Miller, who undertook
to investigate the production of logan
berries in Oregon, found-some condi
tions that surprised him a little. For
one thing he learned that "not one
farmer in fifty had any tabulated tacts
showing the exact cost" of raising this
promising berry. Some told him it
might cost 2 Vi cents a pound. Others
guessed 3 cents. The average cost
appeared to be something like 3 cents,
but nobody knew the precise figure.
This emphasizes one of the great
troubles with the business of farming.
It is not conducted on business prin
ciples. The cost of production is a
matter of pure guesswork in too many
Instances. The marketing is haphaz
ard and piecemeal. The returns are
accepted with thankfulness no matter
how inadequate .they may be. The
farmer blesses his stars that he has
got anything at all out of the muddle
and hopes that he has made a profit.
But whether he has or not he seldom
knows accurately. The farm provides
a living for himself and family in any
case, and if there are a few dollars
over to put In the bank or spend at the
Rose Festival he is satisfied.
These are both worthy purposes, but
the farmer should not be content with
the mere fact that he is not entirely
out of pocket at the year's end. His
labor and that of his family are worth
a certain sum in hard cash. The cost
of seed, the annual rental of his land,
the estimated hire of his team and
machinery, a percentage for the depre
ciation of stock, should all enter into
his calculations. He is under obliga
tions to understand his business as
thoroughly as a merchant does. Fail
ure to face the facts may not lead him
quite to bankruptcy, as it would a
storekeeper, but It makes his life hard
and unrewarding.
A good system of farm accounts has
been devised at the Agricultural Col-,
lege and published at a reasonable
price. It ought to be manageable by
every farmer who has attended the
public schools, but unexpected diffi
culties usually turn up when the trick
is attempted. Some practice under ex
pert supervision is very likely indis
pensable before an ordinary farmer
can keep even the simplest set of
books with good results. This is one
among the many reasons why farmers
should make extraordinary efforts to
attend the short courses at the Agri
cultural College. ,
Rigorous bookkeeping and expert
marketing are two of the great lacks
In rural life. The farmer may, with
a little professional help, learn to keep
his accounts intelligibly, but we doubt
seriously if he ever can hope to be
come an adept salesman. This is one
of the most difficult of arts. It re
quires long training and undivided at
tention to be practiced successfully.
Farmers can never have the long
training and their minds are taken up
with too many things to allow them
to devote adequate attention to selling
their products. Farmers must In some
way become able to avail themselves
of expert service in marketing their
products and the only way to obtain
it is through co-operation. But as
long as they are satisfied with a mis
erable pittance for their annual profit,
or amiably put up with none at all,
they are not likely to go to the trouble
of co-operating with their neighbors to
Secure better market returns.
The subject of keeping accounts
appears, therefore, to be fundamental
(among rural problems. "Until the farm
i ers learn -to face the real and often
disheartening facts of their business
as it is conducted, tney are not likely
to take vigorous steps to improve it.
On the farm, as everywhere else, a full
understanding of the facts is the prime
condition of progress.
HELP FOB STUDENTS.
Kansas, the home of innovation and
experiment, has just begun to try an
Interesting Innovation . in her educa
tional institutions. The old janitors
are to be dismissed and students em
ployed in their places. It is believed
by the state authorities that the new
plan will help a large , numb'er of
worthy young people pay their own
way through the university, agricul
tural college and other educational in
stitutions and thus materially contrib
ute to their success in life.
Kansas supplies education to her
youth as economically as possible, just
like other states, but still there are
some who find it difficult to make
both ends meet. Waiting on table In
the dormitories is a traditional method
of earning money which has smoothed
the way through college for a great
many ambitious ' students who were
not too proud to let it be known that
they needed the work. There are al
ways families in college towns who
are willing to give a student his board
in return for work about the place,
"doing chores" and the like.
But resources of this kind are In
adequate at best and they cannot be
depended upon in all cases. The Kan
sas plan of providing ss'stematic work
at good wages Is better and will no
doubt prove of great benefit. But,
upon the whole, "working one's way
through college" does not pay. If the
college course makes the demands it
should upon the student's energies he
has little strength left for remunera
tive employment after his lessons are
prepared and his recreation provided
for. If he attempts to do full college
work and earn his living at the same
time he is but too likely to overtax
his strength and handicap himself for
life.
More- promising is the system of
loans to worthy students which has
been put in operation in a great many
colleges, both public and private. In
this way the student receives the
funds he needs with the privilege of
repaying the debt when he has a sit
uation later on. He can thus devote
his full energies to the college work,
and his chances of future success are
greatly enhanced.
WATERLOO AND WORLD EMPIRE.
The battle of Waterloo was fought
June 18, 1815. Its centennial anniver
sary dawns in clouds of powder smoke
blacker than any Napoleon ever raised
over the world. After a hundred years
death reaps a more -abundant harvest
in those Belgian fields, where of old
he put in his sickle, and one can almost
discern the fates preparing the car
nage of a new Waterloo on the plains
where Napoleon came to ruin with his
dream of universal empire shattered
and gone. The significance of that
dreadful day did not lie in the victory
of England and Germany over France,
but In the new baffling of the age
long desire of one conqueror after an
other to overrun and rule the world.
The concept of world empire is
rooted in the dim beginnings of his
tory. It urged the Assyrian armies
into Egypt and inspired the Pharaohs
to despatch their victorious hosts Into
Mesopotamia and Phoenicia. The Per
sian Cyrus laid the foundations of a
world-wide empire when he led his
hardy mountain veterans down to at
tack the decadent realms of Croesus
and Nebuchadnezzar. His successor,
Darius, enlarged and solidified his con
quests and Xerxes tried to extend them
'over Greece; but his innumerable army
was routed at Plataea and his fleet,
whose sails covered the waters of the
Aegean for miles, went down before
the Athenian triremes at Salamls.
While Alexander overran the ancient
dominions of Assyria, Egypt and Per
sia in the East, . Carthage and Rome
fought for supremacy in the west of
Europe. When Alexander's ambitions
were cut short by an untimely death
his boundless conquests were divided
among his generals. Carthage fell be
fore the invincible spirit of Rome. The
armies of the imperial city brought
low their enemies in Italy and Africa
and then, penetrating the ancient king
doms of the East, reduced almost all
the conquests of Alexander to Roman
provinces. The Romans carried much
farther than the Greeks or any pre
vious nation the ambition to rule the
world. When the boundaries of their
empire were widest it extended from
the middle of Scotland southward
across Western Europe to what is now
Morocco, stretched over Africa to the
Red Sea and included the whole of
Germany, Austria, the Balkan region
and Asia Minor. The boundary be
tween Rome and Persia toward Meso
potamia was always vague and shift
ing, but everywhere else, in the prime
of the empire, it was firmly estab
lished and guarded by well-planted
legions, supported by fortified cities.
Rome ruled the whole known, world
of her time long enough to implant
the concept of universal empire In
extricably in the imagination of man
kind. For centuries after she had
fallen the vision of her power was still
vivid in Europe. All through the dark
ages and the medieval centuries it
was the aspiration of the great Popes
and Emperors. Charlemagne, who was
crowned in the year 800. came nearer
than any other man of those times to
the achievement of the old ambition.
The empire which he founded survived
in more or less power for ten cen
turies. In its greatest splendor it made
the Popes Its vassals and gave laws to
the whole territory of Imperial Rome
except the extreme eastern and African
provinces. It was the hope of Charle
magne's successors that they might
sometime conquer these and thus re
vive the authority of the Caesars In
its full extent. But they never did.
Rome had the Immense advantage
of a unity 'of spiritual and physical
force. Religion in the imperial city
was. always strictly allied with the
military government. The successors
of Charlemagne were not so fortu
nately situated. By the end of the elev
enth century the church began to re
vive from its slumbers and became a
formidable competitor with the Ger
man Emperors for the secular domin
ion of the world. When Pope Gregory
VII had brought the Emperor Henry
IV to his feet at Canossa, it seemed
for a time as If It was the church and
not the empire that was to possess
universal power over mankind. But
Gregory VII, the Incomparable Hilde
brand, had no competent successor for
many years, and the church relaxed
Its grip again. The contest between
church and empire for dominion over
the world is the keynote of history up
to Dante's time and later. Under In
nocent III, who became Pope In 1198,
the church reached the maximum of
Its power.. It was he who humbled
KJnx John of England and promoted
the evangelizing orders of the Domin
icans and Franciscans. , . .
The - German empire attained to
great power again under Frederick II,
who came a little later than Innocent
III, but now the dream of world do
minion began to lose its hold 'upon
mankind. It was superseded for a
time by the rise of the individual na
tions. France and England began to
make themselves felt as . European
powers and the Italian cities rose to
greatness. Since then the ambition
for universal empire has been an alien
intruder in Europe. It has never been
at home there, bu,t, on the other hand,
it has never been entirely absent.
Charles V, of Spain and Germany, who
lived in Luther's day, had a larger
realm than Charlemagne, - part - of It
being in the new world. His authority
was disturbed by religious dissensions,
which, under his eon, Philip II, again
became a principle of dissolution. The
Thirty Tears' War. which broke out
in 1620, reduced Germany to a desert
and destroyed trie power of its Holy
Roman Emperors forever. Their am
bitions passed over to France. Under
Louis XIV and Louis XV that country
took up the ol struggle for world
power and might have won It but for
England's determined resistance. Na
poleon resumed the immemorial strife
at the beginning or the nineteenth cen
tury and again it was England who
fought him when every other power
in Europe was ready to yield. Napo
leon met his doom at Waterldo, broken
by the united power of England and
Germany, with Russia coming up In
the distance, and the specter of uni
versal empire was laid until Bismarck
won his unexampled diplomatic and
military victories. Now that it has
appeared again, we find England still
leading the van against It, but her
foremost ally is the country of Napo
leon, while Italy, which for more than
a thousand years from Charlemagne's
time was but a name on the map, now
sends her disciplined millions to com
bat the re-establishment of Charle
magne's empire.
HERCULEAN SPELLERS.
Quite a remarkable spelling contest
was held last .week in Columbus, O.
The capital of the state was chosen
for the affair on account of its great
importance. Two thousand spectators
watched the progress of the combat
and mingled their tears over the sad
fate of the fallen.
The spelling began with a hundred
written words. All the contestants
spelled the whole list correctly. Then
followed five hours of solid oral spell
ing, at the end of which thirty-three
out of the original seventy-six con
testants still stood up.
To lay them low it was necessary to
propound another hundred "stumpers"
chosen from the most recondite
sources, a good many of them being
French. All the spellers fell before
this final sally, but not until they had
covered themselves with glory.
The remarkable victories won by the
Ohio youths in this war of words, or
logomachy, to be scientifically exact,
assure their future wealth and honor.
Who could possibly fail in law, medi
cine, theology or engineering after
learning how to spell nlccolite, Isosce
les, dleble and indelible? The con
nection Is too close for anybody to
miss it.
HOW TO GET SHIPPING LINES.
One of the two "chief essentials to
the development of .South American
trade with the United States is the
establishment of American steamship
lines. The question is how to bring
this about. It is not, or should not
be, a party question. It is a question
on which every American should de
mand thorough, open-minded inquiry
by Congress, in order thjit all the
facts and -conditions may be ascer
tained and considered in framing a
policy for the restoration of our mer
chant marine.
Notwithstanding his practical de
feat by the last Congress, President
Wilson still insists that the only way
is for the Government to buy or build
ships. Senator Burton proved beyond
contradiction that this was the wrong
way. He showed that the mere pro
posal that the Government go into
the shipping business had prevented
private capital from going in at a
time when conditions are peculiarly
tempting. He showed that the im
mediate need is banking facilities to
set commerce moving in larger
volume, for the private ships now in
operation to South America carry car
goes that are far from full.
The weight of Senator Burton's
argument was such that the shipping
bill was supported by none but the
thlck-and-thln Administration news
papers. It did not receive the united
support of Democrats in either Senate
or House. The Democrats have in
creased their strength in the Senate,
but have greatly reduced it in the
House. With a majority of only 33
over Republicans and Progressives in
the next House and with no popuIAi
demand for the measure, it is doubt
ful whether the Administration could
win.
It is proposed to spend J30.000.000
on ships. A high authority says this
sum would buy enough ships to carry
only 1 per cent of the trade which
the President says is languishing for
"lack of vehicles." If $150,000,000
were spent, the ships bought with it
would carry only 5 per cent of the
trade, and whence would the Govern
ment get the money? It has in pros
pect a deficit of J30.000.000 at the
close of the fiscal year and an emerg
ency may arise which will require
all its borrowing power. If the Gov
ernment could buy ships, with freights
at three or four times normal rates
It would have to pay war prices, and
it would find difficulty In buying at
all. One fifth of the British and prob
ably a larger proportion of the French
and Italian merchant marine Is em
ployed in war service. German ships
are not open to purchase. All the
remaining ships are fully employed at
most lucrative rates. It is a bad
time to buy, as the Government would
find, when ships were released from
war service and freights fell.
If the Government undertook to
build, could it get new ships delivered
before the immediate emergency had
passed? All the European yards are
as busy as possible on naval work and
on. merchant ships to make good the
ravages of war. A marine Journal
says that there is scarcely an Ameri
can yard today that has not con
tracted for all the business it can do
for nearly two years ahead and that
the industry is assured of a high de
gree of activity for at least five years
to come. If construction of ships for
the Government could not begin until
two years had expired, delivery would
not begin for six months to a year
later. That would be too late to
meet the present need, and In the in
terval a radical change In conditions
is likely to upset all the calculations
on which the Government's policy is
based, i
In the meantime things are right
ing themselves to some extent. The
effect of the ship registry law has
been to cause the transfer of 142 ves
sels, of 500,705 gross tons, to Ameri
can registry up to May 1. During
the eight months ending March, 1915
as compared with the same period
ending March, 1914, the percentage
of our exports carried' In American
vessels has Increased from 6.57 to
10.25 and the percentage of our im
ports carried in our own vessels has
grown from 10.73 to 16.60. Condi
tions are otherwise changing In favor
of the American shipping business.
After the war ends, revival of com
merce and decrease in the available
supply of ships may continue ocean
freights above normal for several
years. If the seamen's law were
amended in some- particulars to meet
the objections which have caused the
Pacific Mail to withdraw its Oriental
line, and if the cost of operation were
reduced by amendment of our naviga
tion laws, private capital might quick-.
ly occupy the field and render Govern
ment ships unnecessary. Even now
Investors are kept out chiefly by th
Government's threat to enter the field
VASSAR'S SEMI-CENTENNIAL.
The comparatively brief career of
women's colleges in the United States
is recalled by the approaching semi
centennial of Vassar, which will be
celebrated next October. Vassar was
the pioneer woman's college and it had
to bear the foolish ridicule which that
situation naturally brought upon it.
But there were predecessors of a more
humble order.
Emma Willard, the great protago
nist of women's education, opened her
girls' school at Middlebury, Vermont,
in 1808. Twenty-one years later she
opened a "Female Seminary" in Troy,
N. Y. The next heroine of the tale
was Mary Lyon, who was educated in
Joseph Emerson's school at Byfield,
Mass. She conducted a "female semi
nary" at Ipswich, Mass., in 1828 and
in 1837 opened the epoch-making col
lege at Mount HolyokeT But, fearing
malicious comment, she called it a
"seminary," not a college.
There was a "female college" conducted-
at Kent Hill, Me., as early as
1821, but it did not really deserve the
title. Wellesley and Smith colleges
were founded in 1875, ten years after
Vassar. Bryn Mawr was founded in
1885.
BRANCH BANKS A INROAD.
Progress is being made in estab
lishing branches in Latin-America by
National banks of the United States.
Having begun with two in Rio de Ja
neiro and Buenos Ayres, the National
City Bank, of New York, will add
three, namely, at Havana, Sao Paulo
and Montevideo, and the Commercial
National Bank, of Washington,- has es
tablished one at Panama, With one
each in Venezuela, Colombia and Cen
tral America, the east coast of South
America and the Caribbean Sea would
be fairly well provided with a begin
ning. No branches have yet been opened
on the west coast, which has hitherto
been the field of our Pacific States.
There are openings at Santiago and
Lima, also in -Ecuador and on the Pa
cific Coast of Central America. The
way should be cleared for the banks
in - the Pacific States to combine for
this purpose. By so doing they would
materially promote the commerce of
the Pacific Coast and aid the develop
ment of our industries. Branches
abroad should prove valuable feeders
to the parent Institution, though some
expense would be Incurred in building
them up.
THE CAMPING SEASON.
Large camping parties 1 are usually
disappointing. The members come
back home weary and forlorn and ex
ceptionally lucky if they are not ene
mies for life. Two causes contribute
to this unhappy outcome. The first
is the innate "cussedness" of all hu
man beings which is brought vividly
to the fore by the sweet Influences ol
soggy woods and dusty roads, mosqui
toes and scorched camp bread. The
other is the fundamental mistake of
taking two born leaders along in the
same party. This blunder Is particu
larly disastrous if the leaders are
women, to whom there is no Joy equal
to having their own way. They will
readily lay waste a whole week's pleas
ure for a dozen of their friends to get
a taste of it. The rival generals di
vide the party into two scowling fac
tions and the days that should be
passed in serene contemplation of na
ture are given up to petty plots. The
best camping parties are those small
enough to do without any leader. Each
member, if he belongs to the happy
fraternity of the great outdoors, takes
up his part as naturally as breathing
and all goes well. There are eccentric
persons who relish even washing
dishes. On,e such should be taken on
every trip to the woods and sacredly
cherished.
It is when every person does a little
and nobody is obliged to do a great
deal of routine work that camping is
most enjoyable. We speak, of course,
of trips without professional guides
and similar accompaniments that make
outdoor life to the rich and great mere
ly a novel form of epicureanism. The
middle class must do its own guiding,
cooking and bedmaking if It dwells out
of doors at all. Mild labor of this sort
Is the price it must pay for the recrea
tion and health that come from close
intimacy wif.i nature. To the wise the
outdoors is accessible without any for
mal preparation and trekking to the
woods and mountains. They can camp
out for a single night with acute relish.
They can go to some pleasant nook
in the early morning, cook and eat
breakfast and get back to business by
8 or 9 o'clock with a store of agreeable
impressions big enough to fill a week.
The practical love and. enjoyment of
nature is more a habit than anything
else. One who is moved to commune
with her by the deep calls of his being
will find ways to obey without much
trouble.
The automobile makes access to the
woods more facile than it was "in years
gone by. It Is a miserably poor motor
car that cannot make fifteen miles an
hour over ordinary country roads. This
puts a wealth vof enjoyment within the
reach of everybody who owns a car.
It is only, necessarj- to throw off that
"false luxury" which the poet Cowper
deplored and rise early In the morning.
Business does not begin till 8 or 9
o'clock. Between 6 in the morning and
that time there is a heavenly stretch
of three whole hours during which the"
good machine. If it has been generously
fed with gasoline and oil and properly
watered, can cover fifty miles going
and coming without turning a hair.
This estimate allows three-quarters of
an hour for breakfast at the end of the
twenty-five-mile run before packing up
to go home to the day's routine. Life
would be worth twice what it Is to the
ordinary city family If they could bring
themselves to begin the day with some
bright adventure instead of snoozing
and snoring away the morning hours.
Of course everyjbody needs sleep, but
why take it in the morning? All the
learned agree that an hour's sleep be
fore midnight is worth two afterward,
but we go on heedless of their counsel
and blindly cut short our lives by sit
ting up late. What do we do it for?
Let anybody sit down calmly and ask
himself what he really gets out of his
nights at parties, theaters and still
more frivolous places, and we can pre
dict the answer in nine cases out of
ten. It will be "vanity and vexation of
spirit." Of course there is an occa
sional play worth going to, and once In
a while a truly pleasant party comes
off; but such things are rare excep
tions. Better by far; be safe in bed
sleeping one's self strong and healthy
for an early morning expedition to na
ture's bosom than sweltering in the
corrupt atmosphere of the playhouse
or the airless parlor of some unhygie
nic hostess. Most matrons dread fresh
air only a little less than they do last
year's fashions. Their first polite at
tention to a guest Is to smother him as
near as they can by shutting down
all the windows. The real value of
public education may be gauged by
counting the number of your acquaint
ances who s!ep With' their windows
open. The figure is pretty certain to
be disappointingly small.
A sage whose reflections on camping
we have just read lays down some most
edifying rules for breakfast outdoors.
Simplicity is his ambition. The only
cooking utensils needed are a frying
pan and a coffee pot. It were judi
cious to omit the coffee and drink tea
In place of it if one could, but this is
a counsel of perfection perhaps a little
too rigorous for common humanity to
follow. Still, we must remark that all
old woodsmen are tea drinkers. They
pooh-pooh coffee when hardship is to
be endured or a long march made. The
frying pan is for ham and eggs. Cut
the ham in large, luxurious, pinkly In
viting slices and let it murmurously
simmer in the pan a long while. Be
careful not to let it get too hot or the
delectable juices will be calcined and
the angelic 'flavors smoked away, to
say nothing of the toughness that will
be generated. When the ham has been
temperately fried, lift it tenderly from
the pan, leaving the nectar behind,
for into this must the eggs be broken.
Ladle the juice over them as they
sweetly sizzle above' the mild -fire you
have kindled and nursed between two
stones, continuing the mild fire process
until the yolk is skinned across with
a translucent white film. Then they
are done. Thus prepared, ham and
eggs make a consummately enjoyable
outdoor breakfast. No other harmon
izes half so well with singing birds and
babbling brooks, and none so fills the
breast with strength and courage for
a good day's work.
Nothing could be gained by calling
a special session In October to revise
the Senate rules. Under the rule of
unlimited debate much more time than
two months would be consumed in discussion-
A condition of exacerbation
would be produced which would ill
prepare the Senate for consideration
of those problems which threaten to
call for prompt action and for the ex
ercise of calm judgment, undisturbed
by party feeling, by the best minds In
both parties. It is possible that ah
emergency may arise which will call
for a special session of both Senate
and House long before October. If
that should prove to be the case. Con
gress will be too fully occupied with
other and graver matters to give any
thought to cloture. That Is a subject
which should be reserved for times
when there is not a ripple on the inter
national sea.
Senator Kern has displayed his sin
gular unfitness for" the position of
Democratic leader in the upper house.
He has proposed to the President the
calling of an extra session of the Sen
ate in October for the purpose of
amending the rules by introducing
cloture. Under circumstances which
may require all parties to work to
gether in support of the President's
efforts to deal with a foreign- crisis,
Mr. Kern raises a highly controversial
question which would surely embitter
parties against each other and lead to
long and acrimonious debate. His ac
tion reveals him as a narrow partisan
Incapable of seeing that great emer
gencies call upon patriots to forget
party; as a politician lacking in the
essential qualities of a statesman.
Although the greatest crisis of mod
ern times has occurred in China the
past ninety days, how little do we
seem to recognize the portentous oc
currence of recent date in the Orient.
Spanish War veterans want to fight
in event of war. The spirit of '98 is
so much alive that the vets forget they
are rather old to shoulder a musket
now, as soldiers go.
How are you getting on with that
vacation fund we advised you to start
three months since?
"Russians meet success," says a
dispatch. And it's a long time between
meetings these days.
By the way, what's become of that
war Kitchener was going to "com
mence" in May?
The Rose Festival is over. Get ready
for the Rose Festival. That's the
Portland spirit.
Italy says her part in the war will
be to keep 1,000,000 Teutons busy.
Some part.
We take the latest note so well.
wonder how the Germans will take it?
However, the country will try to
worry along without Bryan's guidance.
All things considered, the weather
man did nobly by us this Festival.
Paid your income tax this year? Or
will it be necessary this time?
The next Festival will be even
greater, impossible as that may seem.
Now for another Mexican crisis. We
scent it on the horizon.
Even Teddy approves the Wilson
note. Incredible.
As to the weather (Deleted by the
censor).
It was the best thing Bryan ever
did.
We've surely got a rest coming to
day. Now for the big Fair.
Gleams Through the Mist
By Dai Collins. - -
Potpourri.
(This being the hangover after Rose
Festival, we .thought it our duty to
write something about roses and we
remembered that "potpourri" meant a
bowl of rose petals, so we chose It for
a title.
Later we learned from Miss Tingle
that a potpourri is also a ragout or
hash.
Later we were Informed by the lit
erary editor that it is a bunch of lit
erary Junk ' hung together without
rhyme or reason like vers libre.
So you can read the results of our
effort and take your choice as to what '
the title means.)
INVOCATION.
Come rhyming muse of dulcet notes;
Come feed my pegasus hla oats;
Bring me my lyre from off its hook:
Dig up my trusty rhyming hook;
And stick around to help along
My talent, while I burst in song.
And whang my harp, with swinging blows.
In honor of the Portland Rose!
The sun that fair Hose Festo day
Rose with a visage twinged with pain.
For there were clouds of white and gray.
And things looked pretty much like rain.
Yet, spite of this, the world essayed
To go and see the first parade;
Where children marched in well-drilled
rows.
And far and wide
Exemplified
The Whole World Knows the Portland
Rose."
The courteous office boy said. "Srr,
Your rhyme is rotten, as it were;
If I were you. Id let it drop."
But I am started, and can't stop.
'
If Father Noah lived that day
And sailed the good craft Ark.
Ho would have smiled at heavens gray v
And lowering rainclouds dark.
And so did we; we had to do it.
And so wo said, 'There's nothing te It."
And thereupon the clouds and rain
Fled from the sky with might and main.
The sun came out and sweetly shone
Upon the troops of Robert Krohn,
Who marched with Joy and marched wftn.
glee.
And all was Jolly as could be.
Hail to the Queen who In tri
umph advances! Emery Olmstesvd.
come out with the crown!- Hall her
with chorals and cheering and dances!
That is the stunt: so let's do it trp
brown. Hail to the Festival Queen,
who is best of all! Hail to the rest
of all those Princesses! "Hail them
still more and more, and when that
haillngs o'er, let out another roar."
Charley Berg says.
"Hail to the queen." the Rosarians
bellow. Baker and Hofmann and all
of the clan. Powers kicks in with
his voice deep and mellow. "Hail to
the Queen," they all shout, to a man,
Bortzmeyer and Vincent do rend the
high heavens, too. "Hail," they all
shout anew. "Hail till -you drop."
Hail them for dainty grace, hail them
for lovely face."
(We're running short of space, so
we will stop.) "
(And the song of the ride of the Festival
Floral parade
We'll sing as of old Alf. Lord Tennyson
played.
In meter completer and sweeter by far
we opine
Than came from the lute of the laureate
poet divine.)
e
Half a block, half a block, half a block
onward.
Right through the cheering crowd.
Hose-bedecked autos ploughed.
While all the mob aloud
Bellowed and thundered.
What though a drop of rain
Splattered now and again
Jupe showered his tears In vain.
While the world wondered.
Saying: "Do you suppose
Anywhere grows the rose
Half so profuse? Who knows?" '
Thus the crowd pondered.
(The walrus to the carpenter.
And the carpenter was me.
Who builds these little doggerels
With such felicity
The walrus said: "Pray can that stuff.
It bores me dreadfully!".
And so we drop the Light Brigade
And parody it not,
And seek some other form of verse
That .suits us to a dot.
And warble light and warble free
Whatever Junk occurs to we.
Although the most of It may be.
But little worse than rot.)
In days of old the Romans bold
Had Festivals I wis;
But I will bet they never had
A Festival like this.
Tom, Tom the Piper's son
With the children's pageant his tune begun.
But Ms face was sad through the rondels
and - glees.
For a cauld wind tickled the piper's knees.
e
Jovians, .Jovians. whither do you wander?
Up streets, down streets, fairly raising
thunder.
Making all the little stars Into nothing fade,
'Neath the glory of the lights of the nlgbt
parade.
As under cover of departing day,
Tc crowd cut Joose that night upon Broad
way, I realized if T would do It right
I'd have to add some ginger to my lay.
Therefore much brand-new dope did I in
vent. And quite a mess of poesy I spent
About it and about, but ever more
Into the - wastebasket my efforts went.
("Sir." said the Courteous Office Boy,
As he dashed through the room,
"You only do this to annoy
And fill our souls with gloom.
So if you ramble thusly on
I hope the guys upstairs
Will trim your little column down
And fool you unawares."
Chorus of constant readers:
And fool you unawares!
And fool you unawares!
We hope they'll cut your column short.
Which you've wrote longer than you ort.
And fool you unawares.)
Believe me. if all those endearing young .
charms
That I lamped as I roamed down the
street.
Should come and hang round and hold onto
my arms,
My Festival Joy were complete;
Though the chances may be if they stuck
around me
As I roamed In the Festival Park.
They would do it because they opined I
must be
Some rustic and bright shining mark.
(The Mergenthaler puncher, his brow was
dark with rage.
As he turned the copy over to begin an
other page:
"If this Is what I have to set," ho sighed,
"I earn my wage.")
(And then I paused within my lay.
And mopped the beads of sweat away.
For all the week my course was laid
Round festive dance and bright parade.
My work piled up to such a volume.
I had no time to write this colyum;
Except the time I once endued
Unto my daily breakfast food.
This time I took, and, with a shout,
I tore some feet of colyum out.
And you can Judge, when through you've
gotten.
Whether the dope be good or rotten.
So I will close and wish you Joy; ".
I hope you'll tell the home folk so.
I hope you liked our little show;
Ta-ta, good-bye and au revoy!)