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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (May 21, 1911)
THE SUNDAY OKEGOMAX, PORTLAND, MAY 21. ltttl. . ronuxD, orecox. Ki-erd at Portland. Orasoe I"oetorflee as ArjI.ri.M Mtttor. ubacripuoa Hataa lovmrtablT l A BT If Ail) rtT. Scn-laT tnelvtf4. eaa year. . . .....i'l-e r.i'y. jii4.r Included. olg months.. ... 4-3S o.ir. 9tu47 lor-luld. three olM... 2-23 T.'lr. Surwta-r Inrl.riod. ooe moata.. .... -"J I-ilv. without Suadar. si 7r COO 1i f. vliliwil Sn.d.r. months...... 23 Jnr. ol'kovl I'jadtr, thro moatha.... 1 ailr. wltBota: Saadajr. nae monta. . - Worlt'jr, on yw.M 1-30 Sin-tor. one 7 Mr 2-34 tit sad wotalr. on year. ......... e. (ST CARBtEJtl I'i'Ir. Smar Inrlvdod. on rear....... I.lr. Sunday laeladod. on month..... -T5 How to HiIt Bond rootofflc manor -d .r. tiprw. ord.r or poroonal chork on J'Mir local oank. Stamps. otn or corrraey mrm nt too evador's riok. Otn nootofflco adtroos ta mil. tnelodlBn eauatr tad tuit, r.last tip lot 10 to 14 pae. I cont: Id e -A pacoa. 2 eoau; ad to on pagoa, t coata; to on panoa, d cant. Foraisa pottaa oonnio rata. tTaotot a Baolai it Offleee Vorro Conk Ft .w Torn, hrawtlct. balidlag. Cni- cdo. stofor bofidtac own benefit, not for the public'. It la a formidable and dangerous organi zation. Its success would not bode well for the Cltr of Portland. t-OKTUXD, ftO'DAT. MAT . 111. I TH ULT-V VA or A The Mayoralty 0f a growing and ambitious cosmopolitan cltr Is a most oneroua and trying office. The Mayor who doea his duty Is sure to offend and antagonize many Influential per sons and many powerful Interests. An administration, undertaken with high expectation of faithful service to all the people. Is soon Involved In diffi culty with many of the people; and it must be conducted with extraordinary 'resolution, and equally extraordinary fidelity If it shall not soon be weak ened, or embarrassed, or balked, or entirely broken down. Corporations, contractors, .ftlace liunters. graft-takers, the beneficiaries and the patrons of a vicious system of police protection, the go-betweens and the friends of the disorderly bouses, the private detective, the shady keep era of the midnight saloon all besiege the Mayor for patronage and favors, and each becomes his friend or his enemy as hla own Interest dictates. The Mayor is the arbiter In every" r. et(h born ood dispute over public Im provements. He must have a moral policy; and no moral policy so far de vised has satisfied everybody, and usually It satisfies nobody. The Mayor Is lucky If he escapes entanglement In the everlasting- Issue between capi tal and labor: he is lucky If he does not fail an Innocent victim In the un ending; battle between church and sal-ton: he Is lucky If he determines the ever-present Issues between the corpo rations and the people without loss of prestige or the general confidence; and he Is still more lucky If he es capes conflict with the forces of moral reform that are always demanding ac tion mora or less practicable and more or less beneficial to the whole pub tic. No Mayor ever mores fast enough In public Improvements to satisfy half the people: and. If he moves at all. he goes entirely too fast to please the other half. The Mayor who serves single term of office with the common verdict that he has done well Is little short of a prodigy: the Mayor who ha. done so well that there Is then a gen eral demand for his re-election Is I real phenomenon. .Mr. ;imon nns nad two years as Mayor of Portland. He had lived in Portland nearly his entire life. He i had been Identified throughout hla ca reer In a most prominent way with politics and practical political man agement. He was for years a leader of one powerful faction or wing of the Republican party. He had bis suc cesses and his reverses: he had his friends and his enemies; he achieved the United States Senatorship. and then, after a period of retirement, he responded to a widespread call for him to become Mayor of Portland. It Is remarkable, and It la significant, that the political opponents of Mr. Simon generally Joined In the verdict that he was the fittest man for Mayor: and they supported him heartily and with substantial unanimity In the election. It was an Impressive tribute to the personal character of the man and the exceptional position he had acquired with the public through years of active participation In affairs. It was gener ally agreed that Mr. Simon had admin istrative capacity of a high order, and that he was honest and determined a well as experienced. He became May or by a large vote. Now he Is a candi date for re-election. During the two years of his service as Mayor Mr. Simon has been the Mayor. It Is not charged or believed anywhere that he has had any motive or policy except the public good. He has dealt nowhere and at no time with any political party, or group, or fac tion, for any political purpose; he has not favored the corporations or the contractors, or the so-called capitalis tic Interest against the public Interest; nor has he played the demagogue and sought to make capital out of his hos tility to these corporations and these contractors. He has protected the taxpayer, so far as lay In his power: and he has given the employe and the laborer fair consideration and a fair wage for his service. He has con ducted the great material business of the city with sound discretion, keen Intelligence and pronounced success. He has bad a firm grasp on public af fairs. Ha has sought conscientiously all the time to be Mayor for all the people. Now we find Mr. Simon opposed by a candidate without experience In large undertakings, and. It Is generally believed, without capacity for their proper administration. But. more, he Is known to be the candidate of the orgar.lxed and associated forces of greed and selfishness. He has behind him practically every undesirable and sinister element In our local popula tion. He has lined up with him every 'active Interest every one that seeks advantage or concession from the city government. AU the persons who are in politics for "what there la In It for them are for Rushlight. He has traf ficked with each and all of them. ItnX A.XD THE KECAIX. Representative Kahn. in his speech In the House, made some strong points In regard to the recall which are worthy of attention from those who would retain the Oregon system Just as It came from the brain of Mr. L-Ren. Every reader of history knows that when Mr. Kahn spoke of occa sions when Washington, Lincoln, Jef ferson. Madison. Roosevelt would al most certainly have had to face a re call election, he was not straying from the truth. A man In public office. If he Is to be successful, must take a long look ahead In Judging whether a certain course of action Is best- He knows that the results he foresees cannot be worked out In a short time; In fact, a year or two arer a policy has been put In operation It may appear to be an utter failure, but patience and persist ence may bring It to success. During the time of waiting for results to show themselves the short-sighted critic Is most vociferous. He points to the ab sence of Immediate results as conclu sive evidence of failure and the man he criticises is not able to produce practical proof to back up his defense. It Is on Just such occasions that the recall Is apt to be invoked. Just such a case was that of Lincoln. When repeated disaster had made his critics many and clamorous, he might have been forced to fight a recall elec tion. He knew that the only thing to do. if the Union was to be saved, was to keep pounding away at the Confed eracy. He knew that the Confederacy already had Its reserves at the front. while he still had great resources to draw upon for men and money, and that the god of battles was on the side of the bis) battalions. Tet the circum stances mere such that he could hardly have convinced the people of these facts, and the recall election might eas. Ily have gone against him. Then some man might easily have succeeded him ho would have made some weak compromise with the South and left the right to secede an open question The recall should not be used to dis turb an official when the work he was elected to do is but half done, should be a reserve power In the hand of the people, for use only when they find that they have Inadvertently al lowed a thief or gross Incompetent to slip Into office. It should not be pos sible to Invoke the recall on any frivo lous pretext. This power should be like the weapon which the quiet householder keeps In reserve, not within reach of the children, who would play with It only with disastrous results to themselves, but easily acces sible to himself, in case a burgla should break In. The knowledge that this power exists will suffice to pre vent many officials from going wrong, It THOMAS WEVrirORTH H10.INS4N A man who, like the late Thomas Wentworth Hlgglnson. reaches the age of 87 years in good health and spirits. retaining the command of all his fac ultles and enjoying life to the very end Invites his fellow men to ask what the secret of his good fortune could have been. In Hlgglnson's case It was a sturdy physical constitution to be gin with and a mind which refused to let go of the world until death ef fected the final severance. The activ ity of the Intelligence has as much to do with long life as the vigor of the body. Hlgglnson was born with a robust frame. He was unusually large for his age at 14. when he entered Harvard and could pursue his studies on a Spartan diet of bread and milk with out suffering In health. Nature made him a radical, or. as he says himself In his autobiography, "more than half a socialist." He-came of the old New England stock which found Its greatest satisfaction In fighting tyrants and smashing Idols. He was almost born Into Harvard College. Hla father was steward'' or general financial fac totum of the Institution at the time of his birth. The college yard was bis boyish playground. The professors and students mere the heroes of his childhood. Naturally, as soon as he was fttfed for the freshman year he became a student at the college. The education of a .man like Hlg glnson. who took a hand In every re form of his generation. Is always Inter esting. At the private school which he attended he learned nothing but Latin and Creek, but from his first years he was his own true schoolmas ter. His curiosity was insatiate. He read every book that came his way. and they were many. His father had a good collection and Cambridge, where he came into the world, was In IS; 3 as now a literate city abounding In books. He must have read almost everything worth reading In the Eng lish language before he entered col lege, young as he was ben he matric ulated. Resides that he had the tre mendous advantage of gifted associ ates. Many of the boys wnom ne played with In Cambridge afterward made names for themselves In lltera- ure. medicine, law or war. Daniel Webster was In his mature glory when Hlgglnson was a boy. The giant used to corns to his father's house now and then and It was one of the precious memories of his boyhood that Webster once made him bring some more cream for his chocolate. Lowell was a boy with him. So was the sculptor Story. Longfellow was a little older. He was already an In structor In Harvard when Hlgglnson entered and had written some poetry, though ho was not yet famous. Whit tirr was one of his older contempor aries. Thoreau was of the same sge almost and Emerson was In his prime when Hlgglnson began his studies. Ha says that Emerson exercised an Influ ence upon him which lasted through out his life, but his favorite preacher was Theodora Parker, whose hour long sermons he beard with tireless relish. Hlgginson's wife belonged to the In dependent church which James Free man Clarke established. - Of course, he fell under the fascination of that remarkable man too and derived from him new stimulus for his radicalism. The Harvard professor who taught him best, according to his own Judgment, was Benjamin Pearce. the mathema tician. Hlgglnson had the rare gift of mathematical faculty and might perhaps have been great In that science. Pearce praised his ability but the. world was too interesting to per mit such a man as Hlgglnson to hide himself In any of Its corners for a great while. I in after years when he was arrested for taking part in an anti- slavery riot and on hla way to Jail he told Pearce that he was going to use the leisure of imprisonment to renew tX pi hematic,. Xb 13 f.rofeasor replied that he hoped they would keep him In Jail a long time. Unhappily he escaped altogether. After he graduated. Hlgglnson per "vaded the world of Boston and Its en virons pretty freely for a year or two without any definite plans of life. No doubt his mercantile relations thought him a sad failure. He was touched with the "transcendentalism" which Emerson made so attractive to the In telligent youth of that time. When Thoreau set out to make his living raising beans In the woods, Hlgglnson thought seriously of trying a peach orchard, but he never did. It was at about the same time that Dana, George William Curtis and their com rades made the Brook Farm experi ment which cuts so Important a figure In the Intellectual history of the United States. Hlgglnson finally studied theology in the Harvard divinity school. The students at this Interesting seminary were classified by the dean of that period as "mystics, skeptics and ds peptics." Higglnson confesses his kin ship with the first two ranks but de nies the third. He never was a dys peptic. Robustness of mind and etom ach was a trait he never lost. Of course, he did not preach very long, Even Unitarian congregations will not tolerate more than about so much nonconformity and Hlgglnson very soon passed the limit. He then became a writer, teacher and all-round agita tor. The riots in Boston which fol owed the attempted enforcement of the fugitive slave law gave him a de lightful opportunity which he im proved sealously. In the John Brown disturbances he took his full share. It goes without saying that he had a part In the early conventions for wo man's suffrage and finally he led a regiment In the Civil War. Hlgginson's literary, work belongs with the best of the New England school. It Is mrtnly, sincere and vital. In politics he was an Insistent force for good all his life, while in his daily conduct he set an example of that vigorous Independence, high thinking and plain living w hich is the true Ideal for a democracy. I-KT THE CO-M.MT!riIOr DO IT.'. "No seat, no fare," has an attractive sound to the thousands of tired clerks and workmen who are compelled to stand up during the long ride home after a hard day's work.' But the pro posed city ordinance, so known. Is of that type of catchy, freak measures which are Impracticable of enforce ment and attempt to arrive at an end that may be accomplished In an order- k ly and positive way. It may be shown by a concrete ex ample why this ordinance could not be enforced. Those who take pains to read the entire measure will ob serve that the street railway company is to be punished by fine if Its em ployes admit to the cars persons for whom there Is not seating room, or if any person la kept waiting longer than five minutes for a car in which he can obtain a seat. Jones, anxious to get to his work In the morning, has been standing on his home corner for five minutes, having been denied ac cess to one car. Smith has been wait ing on the same corner one minute when a car approaches that has seat ing room for one person. How Is the conductor to know which of the two men is entitled to the seat II both Insist on boarldng the cor? Another car will be along in four minutes. Therefore the company has complied with the traffic regulations of the or dlnance so far as either man Is con cerned. and cannot be punished. Multiply this situation over and over to Include thousands of person In both morning and evening rush hours, and a condition may be imag ined that may result in a riot call and police suppression every evening In the main business centers of the city An effective public service commls slon can alleviate, if not entirely cure, the morning and evening streetcar congestion. It can take Into "mathe matical consideration the average dally traffic at stated periods and or der specifically a certain number of cars run on a specified schedule. The local public service commission bill proclaims an Intention to give the commission therein created full and complete regulation of streetcar traf fic Undoubtedly the "no seat, no fare" ordinance Is In conflict with It, If both are approved and the commls sion bill receives the greater number of affirmative votes, the "no seat, no fare" ordinance will not become oper ative. But If the latter receives the greater number of affirmative votes he hands of the commission will be tied In one of Its most Important par ticulars for the regulation of which It is to be created. It la absolutely certain that a pub lic service commission will be created which will have supervision over pub lic utilities In Portland. The. State Legislature has passed an adequate law, which is now held up by referen dum Instituted by Portland persons who profess to want a local commls slon. Portland will have one or the other. The only question at issue Is whether the commission shaft be' a cltr body or a state board. While the "no seat, no fare" ordl nance would fall with the final enact ment of the Malarkey or state meas- re. It might Interfere seriously with the operation of a local commission. For this reason. If for no other, It should be defeated. or opinion cannot be generally applied to the situation. It is safe to assert that an? self-respecting young wom an, neat in person and habits, who would qualify herself by a thorough course In domestic science to "do housework." making cookery her ma jor study In the course, would immedi ately, upon receiving her diploma, be able to secure a permanent place in a family In which she would be as considerately treated as Is the busi ness girl In the down town office. And what is true of one would be true of a multitude of young women of the type Indicated. Qualified workers In the domestic realm could have their choice of places in any "city in the land. They could be assured of good wages, the shelter of home, such com panionship therein as was compatible with their duties, kind treatment and food which they themselves prepared from the family stores. The domestic service question Is upon a fundamentally wrong basis. It does not proceed upon the basis of Knowieage or the vocation. As ap plied to American girls, it Is In tile main confined to those who leave country homes for the lure pf the city and whose knowledge of cooking and general housekeeping Is confined to what they have "picked up" as assist ants to tired mothers who have neither time nor strength to give to the deli cate touches that go to make up good housekeeping. Here, then, seems to be the solution of the domestic problem. It Is learn ing to cook and keep house in ac cordance with the modern demand for such work. It includes the ability to distinguish between china and. porce lain In handling dishes; between silver and tinware, granite iron and black Iron pots: between well-cooked food daintily served, and ill-cooked food carelessly dished up: briefly, between good housekeeping and bad. Even the most supercilious mistress would think twice before she would offend a helper so competent as to be indis pensable to the comfort of her house hold, and It is safe to say. that upon second thought she would decide not to offer offense -by ill or inconsiderate treatment. This is one side of the question. The other the servant girl's 'side has often been exploited It Is up to American girls who must work for a living to solve the problem to their own advantage.. by learning housekeeping as a business proposition and then, with a self-respect that commands the respect of others, go forth and engage in it. The respect that is due the capable worker in any field awaits the coming of the Ameri can girl thus equipped, who elects to engage in diwnestic service. meteor la of any size it will be made f very hot when H strikes our atmos- i phere and whatever life there is on it J will be destroyed. If it is so minute that it does not strike the air, but merely floats we must remember that it has traveled through the gulfs of space where It is as cold as it pos sibly can be. The cold of outer space Is "absolute." No doubt it would kill any grms that might be passing from world to world. Certainly the diffi culties in the way of believing that life came to this planet from some other are Insuperable, It requires much less faith to hold that it began here by some local process, perhaps by' the very one which Herbert Spen cer imagined. It is a tenable doctrine that life is a force existing almost everywhere. Just as gravity does, though we have no way of detecting It unless it is united with matter. It took mankind many centuries to discover the all-pervasive electric fluid and segregate It from its carriers. When by any train of cir cumstances matter becomes properly organized to contain life, the vital force flows into It and exhibits its ap propriate phenomena. If this Is the case, of course, it is Inept to speak of the "origin of life. We might as well talk about the origin of gravity or electricity.. All we can fitly discuss are the arrangements of matter which are suitable for life to enter and how these arrangements are produced. Some of them can be produced by chemists in their laboratories, but the mysterious force has not yet been persuaded to go In and dwell. Bees will not stay In a hive until the queen enters, no matter how well adapted it may be for their use.' Some day savants-may find the "queen"; that Is the key move In the game, and then we shall manu facture living beings at every work bench. TOPICAL VERSE To a Modern Maid. I take off my hat to you. Dolly! By methods not easy to beat Tou've proved the unspeakable folly Of those who declare m-e're effete: On the ways of the lords of creation We needn't write funeral odes So long as we've your imitation, . Of man and his modes! How neatly and nicely you flatter! Tou've caught our imperious tone: And the drawl that I note in your chat ter , Might pass very well for my own: In your figure, besides, there's a trace of The spread of more masculine ways: And I'm willing to wager a stray sov. You never wear stays! Ton look upon man as an equal. As a "pal'" who is trusty and true; But a crude matrimonial sequel Is not to be thought of for you: With a cigarette-end In your Angers. And no end of disdain in your glance. There hovers around you and lingers No silly romance! Tour watchword, dear Dolly, is Freedom: Your suitors, who wbnt you to pair, Tou leave to whoever may need 'em. And pass with your nose In the air: But though they He lorn and forsaken Yet their slouch and their slang are your Joys. Til! I think you might almost be taken tor one of the boys! And yet with all diffident doubts I'd Suggest you can learn from us still. Though you imitate man on his outside With more than a Rosalind's skill. For. clever as may be your playlngs. une point nas eluded your ken The ancient and accurate saying That manners make men! London Punch. Scraps and Jingles Leoae Casa Baer. THB DOMESTIC SKRVAT PROBLEM. Herman Robinson, Commissioner of Lteenses In New Tork City, under whoso supervision all employment gencles of that city are conducted. Just published the annual report of his work and observation. In fhls report he devotes considerable space to the domestic servant problem. He presents Its difficulties and perplexi ties at some length and frankly ad mits that he has no solution of the problem to suggest. He ventures the pinion, however, that when the serv ant In the house is placed more near ly on the same footing with the busi ness girl in the office the supply of domestic servants now wholly Inade quate to the demand will be greatly Increased. The stumbling block In the way of putting this theory Into practice is found, to, a considerable extent. In the class of grls w ho go out to domestic service. ft young American women would go through a course of train ing for domestic service as compre hensive as do stenographers, telephone operators and other "business girls" if they would learn to be companion able without being Impudent and be come capable through application to details of the work which they engage to do. Mr. Robinson's suggestion would be worth acting upon. At the present stage of the problem and the factors with which. In very many cases. It is necessary to work it out, this theory , HOW LIFE BEGAN'. One of our esteemed contemporaries discussing the beginning of life on earth publishes the following remark among others of equal Interest and wisdom: . "Into the origin of life It is useless to inquire. Just as it is to discuss the origin of matter." The writer refers to the emergence of life from inanimate matter and not to its first appearance on earth. He believes that It must have come to this planet from some other world, which is pos sible perhaps. But as to the beginning of. life itself, wherever it may have happened, he thinks discussion useless. It is as unprofitable as to talk about the origin of matter. Both problems he deems Insoluble. All this reads queerly in the light of what modern science has accom plished. There are few men of sub stantial scientific attainments who would admit that it is vain to seek to discover the origin of matter, nor would they concur in the opinion ex pressed by the paper from which we quote 'that "matter is indestructible." The chances are many to one that It is destructible, at least in the sense that it Is resoluble Into something Im material. It Is scarcely possible to hold that electricity is "material" in the old meaning of that term and yet it is pretty certain that the basic ele ment of all matter Is negative elec tricity. Herbert Spencer did not find It ne cessary to resort to any other world than this one for the beginning of life. His theory was that life on earth had no beginning. Not that it always was. either. But the transition from the inanimate to the animate was by infin itesimal gradations. The steps of the process were so minute that it was im possible to fix In thought upon any definite instant of fime and say that life existed after that instant but not before It. The change from the inani mate to the animate was what mathe maticians technically describe as "con tinuous." There was no break In it any more than there is in the flow of brook over a stone. This theory of Spencer's has the great merit of being strictly scientific. It accords with what we know is hap pening in the world dally. The pass age of living objects from an Invisible simple cell to a large and complicated organism takes place by "continuous' change. The steps of the transition are Imperceptible. Nobody can actually see the gross grow nor the height of a boy increase, but for all that the pro. cess goes on. Spencer had only to ex ercise his Imagination a little to be hold the same process at work in the transition from dead matter to the animate cell. Some have ridiculed his nation that life neither had any be ginning on earth nor yet always ex isted, but they merely exhibit their own lack of scientific feeling. Who can say when the life of John Smith began? Who can fix the instant when he passed from non-existence to exist encer we can trace nis oouy oack to simple, cell, then farther to the union of two cells, and each of these to other cells and so on endlessly but never to any actual beginning. The belief that lire came here from other worlds is beset with difficulties from a scientific standpoint. For one thing we do not know that there is any life elsewhere. There is not an atom of proof of it. The most any investiga tor can say is that "possibly there is life on Mars or Jupiter," and so on. Nobody ' knows anything, whatever about it.. But even admitting the doubtful proposition that living matter Is to be found on other planets we have still to answer the question how it reached the earth. The supposition Is that it came on minute particles of dust in the from of infinitesimal germs and perhaps it'did. Still it is diffi cult to understand how these particles could have escaped from the planets to-whlch they formerly belonged. This point Is rather slurred over by our theorists. They say it happened some how, but when pressed to be definite they escape with vague generalities. Of course, a passing meteor which does not reach the planet might at tract some shreds of Its atmosphere nd with them the germs of life but here Is still the Journey to the earth's surface to bo accomplished. If -the Conflict between the Federal and State Railroad Commissions Is inevita ble on some points over which each of these organizations claims Jurisdiction. As a starting-place from which to try out the respective power of the two classes of commissions, the order is sued by the Interstate Commerce Com mission permitting roads to exact higher fare for passenger fares for in terstate than for Intrastate business will answer very well. This order is effective, only in states where Legis latures or state commissions have es tablished a 2-cent-per-mile rate, and the carriers have until May 1, 1912, to prove that the 2 -cent rate Is insuffi cient. An interesting situation will arise when the interstate passenger buys a ticket only as far as the state line and declines to increase the mile age rate when the trip merges from an intrastate Into an interstate affair. Eventually the Federal body will un doubtedly control the entire situation. but pending the adjustment the rail roads will get an occasional scorching from one or the other of the two fires they must dodge. s Yamhill County is agitating the question of good roads. There are worse roads in the state than those leading out through historic Yamhill, but there is not any $200 and $500 per acre land lying adjacent to them, nor are they available for use by anything except sure-footed mules or bunch- grass cayuses. Yamhill and Washing ton counties, on account of their close proximity to Portland, have secured a liberal proportion of the new arrivals In the state In the past two years, but in that period they have made but small effort to improve the highway leading into the city that sends them settlers and supplies a market for the varied products that make land worth the prices It now commands. Good roads are a great asset for any region. but they are doubly valuable to terri tory situated In close proximity to large city markets. As an investment. the people of Yamhill and Washing ton counties could hardly put their money in anything that would yield greater returns than a good highway for wagons and automobiles. After studying with close attention the annual report of the Pullman Car Company the Detroit News has come to the conclusion that. If it had a choice of membership between the Pullman car organization and the United States mint it would accept the former. This company was organized about 60 years ago with a capital of $1,250,000. Except what has been paid in from earnings no new capital has ever been added, but stock divi dends have increased the capitaliza tion to $120,000,000. He who put in $1000 at the beginning and retained the interest until the date of this re port has now $100,000, besides all the cash dividends that have been paid. There are but three railway systems in the United States upon which its cars do not run. Only when compelled by the Interstate Commerce Commission did this great octopus submit a public report of Its opera tions. An Observation. Birds in their little Nests agree; They'd rather not fall Out, you see. Woman's Home Companion. . Freddy's Misfortune. Freddy Simpson he ain't never had a llckin' In his life: Not even when he broke th blade o' his pa s bran'-new knife. An" cut th' parlor carpet, and made gouges In th" floor. An whittled his ln-nlshuls. too. right on their big front door. You see, his ma opposes any punish ment like that Why, she Jest reasoned with him when he spoiled his pa's new hat. Huh! Walter Perkins told him how his pa would take a, switch An whip him so th places for a. day or so would Itch! An' I told Freddy Simpson 'bout th" llckln's that I get- So hard sometimes I'd ruther stand up ror my meals than set. An Oscar Jones, an' Rufus an' Bob an' Freckles Smith. They said they'd take th' lickin's rath er than be reasoned with. Us boys, we got to tellin" Freddie how th' whlppin's feel, - An" how your pa whacks harder when you wriggle 'round an" squeal. An how you holler to him, "I won't do It any more! " An how you Just don't do It, long as you Keep feelin sore. An' we got Freddy Simpson to believe It isn't fair . r.: - Fer his folks Jest to reason when th' reasons never scare. So Freddy Simpson started out today to be real bad, - An' played some tricks at breakfast till his pa was awful mad An started out to reason but Fred kept a-makin' noise An' said, "Why don't you lick me like the others does their boys?" An' so his pa he licked him, an' now Freddy says his ma Spent all th' mornln' reasonln" about it to his pa. Wilbur D. Nesbit, in Harper's Maga zine. Fly Time. The swat-the-fly-ful days have come, The worst time of the year, When flies about us buzz and hum And safely dodge and steer. We poke at them widh fiendish Joy But, though we aim it well. They sidestep like a Kid McCoy . And dodge like Abe AttelL Milwaukie Sentinel. "Disease attacks oysters," reads a scare head-line. Probably it's some sort of bivalvular trouble. Why not start a free dispensary at once with say 200 beds? Open to all, naturally, too Dogs are going mad with excltment over the news that a Yale professor has discovered the hydrophobia mi crobes, a a a A typographical error which caused It to be stated that the Northern Tactile had "lowered its rates for frights to and from New York" has led several local men to dlcide suddenly to give their wives a trip back East, o o One good turn deserves applause, o o Now cometh a temperance reformer who proposes that a law shall be passed that every man entitled to obtain a drink shall carry a registered badge. falling production of which be must go thirsty. I think it would be ' much simpler if every such person were to wear some distinctive costume, say of bright green or yellow. It's so very easy to misplace or lose a badge. " ... ; On Mty Birthday. Pink tissue, gilt cords, a package most fair. Wreathed about with bright yellow roses. Swathed snugly in cotton and perfumed with care, " My remembrance from Becky reposes, I have smiled at the box with the keen est delight, Wiiere it sits, enthroned on my table. When, stuck on Its wrapping, I catch a sight of an ornate, suspicious gold label. ;"La Crema Tiinketta" Is branded above. Just the thing that the girls give their gents. I cower and sink 'neath this blow from my love. "One hundred cigars thirty cents. ... An author has, on a wager, com pletely taken in his friends by acting as a waiter at a big dinner party given by one of his millionaire lady-fren's. He never enjoyed a like success of popular ity as a writer. O O ' In these days of prosaic nothingness it Is pleasant to note pretty fancies. A late fashion for ladles is to wear on their necks a row of cute little lady bugs of coral or cunning beetles of black Jet. o o a A. French soldier, for murdering a minor officer, has been sentenced to death, to penal servitude for life, to dismissal from the army and. to per petual loss of civil rights. It Is un derstood that a movement is being made by his friends to have the last part of the sentence remitted. ... Too many cooks spoil the policeman, . . - At a political meeting t'other even ing the platform gave way and the speaker disappeared below. A patent has been applied for, and the clever inventor, who has supplied a long-felt want, will no doubt make a fortune in no time at all. . . That German dog that talks has cre ated a great pow-wow among scien tists. Surgeons are said to be study ing the question of the possibility of making all canines chatter. Wish while they're .about It they'd find a way to make-cats keep still. ... A number of local damseki have banded together in an anti-man .cru sade, and call their clubhouse "The Bachelor Girls' Retreat." Which Is rather clever, as it carries the sug gestion that they have been pursued. A Month of Many Moods. Oh. May, A roundelay. One might surmise. On your behalf should tell Of daisies in the dell And purple skies. But May, Sometimes rough breezes play And blizzards whine. And then the bards must treat Of snow and Ice and sleet To be In line. Oh, May. You're like a tricksy fay With many wiles. You show .us frowns and tears. And then- you calm our fears With sunny smiles. Washington, D. C Herald. Except Me. Shades of commercial candor! Shoe I store advertises, "So and So's shoes. New styles just In. Better get a pair I thev won't laet long. ... (Apologies to Mamma Goose.) I love little rarebits. So sticky and warm. And if I don't' eat him Heil do me no harm. o ' A "Club of Silence" has been organ ized In Portland. Nee'dless to say it's for men. ... Woman who ran a needle in her finger 40 years ago has Just had it removed from her rib. For years she told the doctors she had suffered with a stitch in her side. Which is probably sew. o e a Vaudeville, It is announced, has a monkey that dresses in tight .skirts, tight pumps, big hats and dangles a chatelaine. I have no wish to foster jealousies, but there are hundreds of similar objects walking our local streets. A proper spirit of Independence Is one thing; Impertinence in refusing an intended courtesy Is another. It is but fair to presume that the hot weather, the discomforts of which Mrs. John Hays Hammond sought to relieve temporarily by serving ice cream to the young women who were working in the Census Bureau at Washington under a temperature verging closely I They loaded up the lot with ease, ordered out the vans and drays To move our goods and chattels down To where, at last, we'd thought to ralsa Our household standards In the town; The men were gentlemanly chaps. And of their skill "m free to sing For, though they handled all my "traps, They did not-break a single thing. upon 100, had flung the blood Into the heads of these young women and made them silly. Otherwise they would not have met the proffered courtesy "with refusal couched In pom pous and Insulting language. The elopement bee seems to have gotten Into the bonnets of the daugh ters of Mayor Gaynor. Within a year two of the toonnie lassies of his large family have hied them over Into New Jersey, minus the parental blessing. and married men whom it is pre sumed were not acceptable to their father. Since both married men who were able to support them, and the Mayor has half a dozen or more left at home he will probably not worry long or needlessly over the matter. They carried dishes down the stair; Piano weight to men like these Seemed nothing much, I do declare; They'd squeeze a finger, scratch a cheek. And to commandments old they'd cling; Though injured, not a word they'd speak They did not break a single thing! Ah, then, of Joy I took my fill! And when they Iimsnea witn tne task. I took a fifty-dollar bill And went to pay them wnat they a ask: . I gave It to those skillful men Ah. but tne tnougnt now noias a sting! It was the same old way again. They did not breaK a single tmng: New York Times. How the Gaa Meter Smiled. London Answers. It would be a joy to have a real country servant! She would be simple and young and unsophisticated. So re freshing, after the way in which their London domestic had lorded the entire family. Her name was Elsie, and she turned out to be verysimple and very young and very unsophisticated. She had never seen a carpet sweeper or heard an alarm clock, and she stared In open mouthed astonishment when her mis tress lit the gas stove for her in the kitchen. But she declared stoutly that she would soon grow accustomed to her new surroundings, and her mistress left her to work them out by herself. "How do you find the kitchen range?" asked the mistress, at the end of the week. ' 'Deed, mum. it's lovely!" replied Elsie, enthusiastically. "I never seed a stove with less trouble to it. Why, the fire you kindled for me when I came is still a-burnin', mum, an' it 'asn't lowered even once!" As adviser to money kings and rail way kings, John F. Stevens will be the biggest man in the country. His pro- Patience Exhausted. Who sneaks my Sunday clothes at night And wears them to a rooster flght. posed Job la bigger than John Hays AnJ then returns m ruined quite? Hammond's, although the latter will probably get more pay- Census figures show fewer idiots and cranks among the female sex. "I told you so!" will declare every wife in the land. Throwing out the quarreling officers In the Oregon Naval Reserve was good way to restore peace. The King of Italy wants to study the Oregon system. Here's a chance to ex tradite Mr. URen My roommate. Who rises with the break of day. Abstracts my watch and hies away And pawns it for a bracer, hey? My roommate. Who goes around on pleasure bent Until the day to pay the rent? Who shows up then without a cent? My roommate. Who'll amble in some day of doom To And aa atmosphere of gloom And nothing but an empty room? My roommate, JT-ucllangt, Ship Races a Dosea Waterspout.. New York Press. Officers of the steamship Metapan, from Colin and Kingston, tell of a race with waterspouts off the Virginia, coast. Two days after leaving New York, the spouts were sighted several hundred yards to windward. "There were fully a dozen," said Chief , Officer Spencer, and the wind was Bearing them down on the ship. The average height of the spouts was 200 feet. Captain TIedman drove his craft at full speed and in about 15 minutes loft the watery columns astern. Coal at the Present Prlees. Washington. D. C, Star. "Who do you think are the chief suf ferers in the place of eternal punish ment?" the man with an uneasy con science asked. "I don't know. But l should tntntc I the proprietor himself would have hla I troubles with th coal bills."
