The Sunday Oregonian., December 13, 1908, Section Six, Page 5, Image 57

5
P
L73
In)
UA7rmnpn-ri
THE
HOTEL CLERK
v v
WLTUIR?
BY IRVIKI 5. COBB
THE SthsDAY OREGOXIAX, TORTLAXD, DECE3IBER 13, 1003.
mm
A
6)
OT3 the news?" asked the
House Detective of the St.
Reckless.
"Well, this week. according to the
Terr latest and best advices from the
other side, the Duke of the Abruzzl la
positively not going to marry any
young: lady belonging to a -well-known
"West Virginia family, but will solace
hl wounded heart by climbing Mont
Blanc to the highest point where
cookoo clocks and yodel songs may be
found, after which he will again ven
ture as far north as the latitude of
Kennebunkport, Maine, on another of
those desperate dashes to the Pole,1
said the Hotel Clerk. "Next week. If
the present system continues In vogue.
will be the week when he positively is
going to marry her. no matter what
his Aunt Margie thinks about it, and
the week after that he positively will
not. and so on until the referee either
gives a decision on' points or calls It
draw and declares the bets on.
"And that's all the news there Is In
the paper except several announce
menu to the efTect that Christmas is
coming. I was Just reading a timely
list of gifts suitable to all ages. Let's
e: For mother Set of sables, chest
of flat eilver, gold manicure set: for
father tiger skin auto rug, fur-lined
overcoat, mahogany cellarette; for sis
ter electric runabout, diamond brace
let well, anyway, tt looks as If any
man on a moderate salary ought to be
able to provide an acceptable holiday
remembrance for every member of the
household, this year, at a cost not ex
ceeding $1800 to $2000."
"Aw, don't be a grouch." said the
House Detective. "Christmas comes
but once't a year."
"Which Is amply ample, not to say
plenty, sufficient and abundant to ex
cess." went on the Hotel Clerk. "One
of the things that I like about the
Merry Tuletide Is that nobody has yet
suggested a mid-Summer revival of It.
Santa Claus would be all right If he
closed bis show on December 25. But
these times he's followed by a full
male chorus of bill collectors that be
gin doing bell-ringing turns at the
front door along about the first ult.,
and from there on all through that ult,
and clear Into the next one. I have a
married friend with many relatives
who tells me he always knows when
next Christmas Is coming by the fact
that he's almost through paying last
Christmas' bills."
"Wot would the kiddles do without
Christmas and Santa?" asked the
House Detective.
"I wasn't speaking of the kids." said
the Hotel Clerk. "Christmas was made
for them and they wer made for
Christmas. I don't think! was more
than 6 years old when our Sunday
school -superintendent felt It his sacred
fluty to tell me that my parents had
something to do with the annual visit
of Santa- Claus, and that's quite a
little ways hack In the dim and more
or less mussy past; but to this day I -
A V
No., 9.
Cepyr1it. loon. j,jrw. G niipmin.)
(Copyright In Great Britain.)
No. 9.
One evening when I looked In on
Captain Dickson, who had but recently
retired from a position high In the
t'nlted States Secret Service, I found
him seriously engaged In reading the
afternoon paper. "Amazing yarns, you
newspaper men write," he greeted me
cheerily.
"What gives you that thought?" I
queried, thinking how much more
amazing were the experiences in the
life of this man than Anything he was
likely to find In the paper which he
held crumpled In his hands, and hop
ing to get him started telling one of
his adventures.
"I was just reading about a green
goods swindle pulled oft In New York
City yesterday. It Is strange how men,
who have sense enough to accumulate
a sum of money, can be so foolhardy
as to pait with It on a palpable swin
dle like this one. And yet yon know,"
he continued, "there are some shrewd
business men roped in on this self
same proposition men who are re
spected in their home community for
their business sense."
I knew in a moment there was a
story ready for me, so I quietly filled
my pipe, he pushed over the bottle of
favorite sherry, and this came from
him:
The king of the green goods sharks
was Hank Bonner, alias "Red," "Madi
son," "Shorty," and a hundred others.
He worked In New York City, and It
was my pleasure to make his acquaint
ance In a pictureseque manner.
Hank didn't do Indiscriminate ad
vertising, as do the green-goods sharks
of the present time. Not Hank. He
picked out his victims with care and
made the selection of them a personal
maUer. He would make a "tour
through the provinces," as he ex
pressed It, and one of these tours that
failed to land two or three victims was
the rankest sort of a failure. When
Hank had spotted his man he would
return to the city and write him a
personal letter, la which he hit out to
a dot the man's weakest point of
character, whether It was cupidity,
vanity or downright criminality. Hank
wasn't taking chances In these letters,
for he had seen his victim, talked with
him, tried him out, and so studied
him at close range that Hank gener
ally knew mora about the man than
the latter knew about himself.
He kept a close tab on the men whom
he had worked and never tried to pull
off two Jobs In the same neighborhood.
He would nab a sucker from Maine one
week and one from Texas the next-
"W
hate that man with the same cordial
warmth that I have always bestowed
upon the dog catcher that snared away
the first pup I ever owned. Once you
topple over Santa Claus In a kid's mind
and It's not long until Grimm's Fairy
Tales and Little Red Hiding Hood are
on their way, too. But there ought to
be a law against an adult of either
Bex hanging up his sock or her stock
ing, as the case may be. If It means
that somebody else Is going to have to
hang up the landlord and the install
ment dealer In order to properly fill it.
"Santa Claus coming down the chim
ney as he used to do. In the old days,
or coming up the hot water pipes and
through the plumbing fixtures, like a
second-story worker, as he has to do.
these times, with a pack on his back
full of things fur the kids, is probably
the grandest public utility we've got
In this country, Ijirry. Jf.hn D. Arch
bold is Inclined to think Standard Oil
has the call as a philanthropic Institu
tion, but at this writing I'm stil
pledged to Santa, even if some of the
illustrators do insist on making him
look like Andrew Carnegie dressed up
for a sleigh ride. And Santy doing a
little" something in the good cheer line
for the poor, whom we have with us
always but seem to forget it most of
the time, rates almost as high in my
estimation as John D. Rockefeller does
In his 'own. But there's another Santa
I don't seem to care for deeply.
He s the lnsiduous old wretch that
slips up behind you when looking in the
show window of a Jewelry shop along
about tins season of the year and whis
pars in your ear that if you expect to
retain your self-respect you ought to
send something to Jones, not because you
like Jones, but because he's going to send
you something. So the next day you de
tect yourself in the act of drawing out
the money you ve been saving up for a
pianola or a bull pup, and you proceed
to disburse It, buying things you can't
afford for people who don't want them.
And then there's always the highly Im
portant present that you put oft buying
until the- last minute because you think
you're going to have an Inspiration, but
don't, and so about 30 minutes before the
shops close Christmas eve you are sjowly
ground up Into materials for a rag car
pet while you battle with several thou
sand other members of the Eleventh Hour
Cane Rush and Casualty Club, and In
a nnai tit or desperation you selza on
something that you wouldn't want to
see sawed oft on your bitterest foe. and
tell the clerk to wrap It up and send It
away by messenger before you have a
chance to become normal again. On
Christmas morning you awaken to dis
cover that somebody's done the same
by you and so with murder In your heart
ana one of those Imitation peace-on-
earth-good-will-to-man smiles glued on
your face, you go forth and meet him and
tell him how pleased and happy you are
and swap lies with him until the Re
cording Angel throws away his pen and
screams for an adding machine.
'We re a strange people, anyhow, when
It comes to celebrating our National holi
days, Larry. Just look "em over. New
Year's turn over a new leaf In the morn
ing and turn It hurriedly back before
night. April the first sacred . to the 1
VI fed y l M Att I i 111! VI II U hi A H III! VLl M W -rCTX r&&& . , . ml m t Ttr-rsvzrrm I
ww v mmm iEiwiiiJs
The Alligator Handbag
In making his tours he assumed differ
ent characters, sometimes a gentleman
of wealth seeking a bit of recreation,
sometimes an itinerant minister or a
book agent. Whatever character he as
sumed he acted it to perfection, and
never made a false play In all his rec
ord until he tangled up with a lanky
swamp-angel from Louisiana.
Hank had been down there selling
patent churns, and at a county seat
some distance from the railroad he had
spotted a victim named Simon Boggs.
The sharp characteristic of Boggs' na
ture was his suspicion of everything and
everybody. He must have been of Mis
souri ancestry. If there is anything in the
slang expression that Is current today
A really suspicious man Is the easiest
victim of a swindle In the world. He Is
so careful to investigate every detail
of a proposition before he bites at It. that
If you can once satisfy him Instills In
vestigation, he takes everything for
granted after that and you don't have
any further trouble with him.
Boggs had been written just the right
sort of letter. It was a masterpiece. It
Is over there In one of my scrapbooks.
and you can read It sometime If you
think it will Interest you. It had the
desired effect, for Boggs answered with
a cautious letter, in which he said that
he would have to be "shown" before
he would Invest in the money, but that
he. would take a small quantity if It
was the real stuff. Boggs had more
ready money than any man In his parish,
and Hank knew that If he could rope
Boggs In he would prove well worth the
plucking.
An appointment was made with the
wily Boggs and he came on to New
York to look the situation over. Hank
met him at the depot and took him to
his rooms bv a roundabout way In a
hooded carriage so that Boggs never
could have found It again. He was car
ried Into a room where money seemed
to be the cheapest commodity In the
world. It lay about In piles on tables
and chairs and the bed and floor were
littered with It. His eyes grew as big
as saucers at this vulgar disregard for
"Uncle Sam's currency.
He was told the customary gag about
the stolen plates and tha difficulty In
working the money off In too large
quantities In New York City, but was
assured that every bill in the room would
pass at the Government Treasury or any
bank In the city. Boggs had to be shown.
He was directed to pick out three or
four bills at random from the litter of
the room. This he did. being careful to
get four, the largest number mentioned,
and also being careful that they wore
all VA In denomination. He was then
spirited back to the uptown district, and
he and Hank made a circuit of the banks ,
THE.Y FILL t-Utf UP
WITH TURKEY CRANRER
AND THINGS.
young in years and also yie young In
Intellect. Pull the chair from under sis
ter Maggie end give her spinal trouble.
Insert cotton batting into the breakfast
gruel and cause dear old Grandpapa to
choka to death on his store teeth, besides
other amusements too numerous to men
tion, all of which are peculiar to the day
and dod-blamed peculiar some .of 'em.
Fourth of July Every year hundreds of
little white slabs in cemetery testify to
our devotion to the principle of liberty:
also great numbers of artificial limbs and
many green blinds over the places where
we formerly wore our eyes. Election
day Republicans voting for some Re
publican; Democrats voting for Bryan;
Republicans and Democrats alike turning
out for election returns In the evening,
but Democrats going home the earliest.
Thanksgiving day The President and all
where the bills were changed' for those
of smaller denomination without a mur
mur as they were as genuine as any
that every left the bureau of engraving
and printing.
Boggs was very much pleased with
this. Next he wanted to see the plates
from which they were printed and the
printing plant. This was something
that Hank hadn't counted on. He said
it was Impossible, but Boggs was as
adamant and refused to Invest a dollar
unless they showed him. Hank agreed
to do so the next day and during the
night he bought a small hand-press and
some Ink and had half-tone plates made
of both sides of the three denominations
of the bills that he was purporting to
have In such profusion, tens, twenties
and fifties. He figured that Boggs would
not know the difference between a half
tone plate and-a steel plate. There was
one matter he overlooked, and that was
the paper on which to print his bill3.
Boggs was conducted, with great
secrecy, to the printing plant which, as
a matter of fact, was on the floor above
the room where the profusion of money
was displayed. He examined everything
minutely and expressed hie satisfaction
with everything. Then he wanted to see
the stock of paper, having learned some
how that Government bills were printed
on a specially prepared paper. Here he
seemed to have Hank, but that gentle
man was ready for. the emergency. He
regretted exceedingly that his paper sup
ply was exhausted. Indeed, he said. It
was a specially prepared paper, and his
confederates were then engaged In manu
facturing a large quantity of It, but It
would not be ready for use for some two
or three weeks.
This seemed to satisfy Boggs for the
time, but he wanted to see the paper be
ing made. Hank was stumped here for
fair and had to decline, saying the pro
cess was so secret that even he had
never visited the place. Boggs accepted
this explanation, to all appearance, but
as a matter of fact be was not satisfied
In his own mind. His suspicion was
arounsed to the last degree and he made
a resolution to see the paper before he
Invested heavily.
Nevertheless, be Invested $100 In the
money, a part of the $200 he had se
cured In "having the four bills changed,
getting for It $1000. which hs counted with
great care, examining each bill as tt was
handed over to him. Hank had care
lessly thrust a bundle containing $1000
at Boggs, but the farmer had untied It
and looked at every bill on both aides
before be paid over the $100 agreed upon.
He returned to his swamps and passed
the money with so little difficulty that
he soon wrote Hank and arranged to
come on to New Y'ork and take his en
tire stork and trade. This was what
Hank had been playing for and he
the Governors of the. states announce
that this Is a solemn festival of thanks
and' praise, so everybody goes to a foot
ball game.
"But Christmas Is the one that really
rings the bell. Larry. Wo rear chil
dren with great care these days. I've
heard of one prudent mother that
wouldn't spank her offspring until she'd
counted on getting his $1100 back and a
lot more besides.
Ha made preparations accordingly,
drawing out of the bank some 46,000,
the net proceeds of his years of swin
dling, and laying In a stock of paper
that ha thought would fool the farmer.
Ho had a grip built especially for this
transaction, an Ingenious contrivance
with a falsa bottom. The grip was a
plain alligator handbag and In the
deviltry of Its construction it was a worn
of art. Hank knew that ha couldn't
palm off bundles of green paper, veneered
with bills, on the shrewd farmer, and he
didn't have much faith In switching grips
on him. His plan was to let the fanner
place the bills in the grip while If stood
on the table. The bills were dropped
through a hole In the table and down
through a pipe to the room below where
they were caught In a basket and
brought up to Hank by his confederate
as they were needed, for. Hank had to
make his $45,000 serve for $200,000.
Boggs arrived in due time, and he
had with him, as Hank had taken the
precaution to learn from Boggs' own
town, through a confederate, $20,000
In cash, all in $1000 bills.
He had something else with him, as
Hank had learned to his sorrow, but
Hank, didn't suspect that at the time.
Hank had as few confederates as pos
sible, both becauso It made the split-,
ting of the swag into fewer parts and
because every additional man in on
the deal was an added danger of de
tection. He worked his delivery of the
goods always with only one man be
sides himself, Joe Lat timer, as old a
criminal and as shrewd a bird as the
redoubtable Hank.
Boggs was shown the printing ''plant
again and he again asked to see the stock
of paper. This was shown to him, and
there was enough of It to have made
millions of dollars if it bad only been
the real article. Boggs seemed satisfied,
but he wanted to see a few bills printed.
Hank was up a stump here, but he ex
plained that his printer was at the bed
side of a dying mother and there was
no telling when he would report for duty
again and be, Hank, knew as little of the
art as a new-born babe.
Boggs had surreptitiously appropriated
a corner of one of the sheets of paper,
and that night, at his room, he com
pared it with the material of one of 'his
own bills, and he saw that It was quite
different In texture, nor was there a sus
picion of silk thread in It that ha could
find. Ha knew by this that he was deal
ing with real crooks, and ha set about
to circumvent them. On the occasion of
his former purchase toe had held on to
his money until the other was in his
pocket, and he figured that he could
work it again, so as soon as the bank
opened next morning he bought $20,000 I
sterilized the slipper. We are so scien
tific and precise about1 a child's diet
that he grows up almost as strong and
healthy as if we'd leftiim alone more
and given nature a chance. So, after
carefully nurturing him all during the
year, giving him liquid nourishment out
of a medicine dropper so many drops
per day and compounding Ills food for
mmm-jzL&L j '
I of New York exchange and forwarded it
. by registered mall to his home bank.
Next he bought two pairs of handcuffs
at a sporting goods house, a bottle of
liquor, and some drugs. How he knew
what drugs to buy no one ever learned,
but Boggs was a crafty scoundrel, and
It Is said that ha was many things other
than a simple farmer before ha made
his advent into the quiet Louisiana
parish where ha had grown rich by steal
ing timber. Nevertheless, he secured the
right sort of thing, and he dosed the bot
tle with enough of it to send 10 men into
a dreamless sleep. If the half-pint had
been distributed among so many.
That night he met Hank according to
appointment, and was conducted with as
much secrecy as on former occasions to
the room of amazing wealth. He ac
cepted tha alligator bag without com
plaint, and counted the bills, one by one.
as they were passed over to him by Hank
and his assistant. There is no doubt
that ha detected the false bottom of tha
grip, but he gave no signs of it. He
counted the money as Hank passed it
over to him and poked it into the limit
less maw of the alligator handbag as
seriously as If he suspected nothing.
When he had been paid over tha $200,-
000, all in $50 bills, and had poked them
into the grip to be wafted down through
the pipe to the room below, he reached
into his pocket for his wallet, and after
fumbling about a bit pulled out tha bottle
of drugged whisky and sat it upon tha
table.
"Gents," ha said, with gravity, "let's
take a drink In honor of tha occasion.
I never close a trade of any size with
out taking a drink. It makes it easier
to pay over money to have a little stimu
lant inside." Hank and his pal were so
greedy to get their hands on Boggs' coin
and get rid of tho farmer that they
readily consented, so each of them took
a long pull at the flask and passed It
back to Boggs, who held it out at arm's
length, shook It to make it bead, and
gazed as fondly and lovingly at it as
does a love-lorn young man at his sweet
heart. He didn't drink It at first, but began
to talk, rambling along about how he
got his start in the world and how he
made his first dollar and the luck he had
and the like until the effects of the liquor
began to work on the two crooks. They
were soon in a frame of mind bordering
on oblivion and Boggs made a feint of
drinking from the bottle and pressed
them to have another pull at it. They
accepted without much urging. This
was the last straw, and before either of
them realized it they crumpled up in
their chairs and tumbled out upon the
floor. Boggs was ready for the occasion
and gagged and handcuffed both.
He examined the grip and saw where j
the money had gone. Then be secured
him according to a prescription, on Chris
mas day his devoted parents and his
doting aunts and uncles sit him down at
a groaning board I think I've heard the
phrase 'groaning board' used In this con
nection somewhere and they fill him
with turkey and stuffing and cranberries
and mince pie and plum pudding and
nuts and candy and things until his eyes
the keys to the room below from tho re
cumbent Joe, let himself in and secured
the basket of money which he stuffed
Into the grip, after attending to the hole
Ira the bottom so that there was no dan
ger of it leaking.
He locked tha sleepers In their room
and made his departure, not, however,
until he had learned from the street lamp
at the corner the location of the housa.
Ha caught the midnight train for his
country home.
The next morning the chief of the Se
cret Service at Washington received a
collect telegram informing him that two
green-goods men with half-tone plates
of bills of three denominations- would be
found in a room upon the third floor of
a certain house In New Y'ork City. This
telegram was forwarded to me, as I
chanced to be in the city at the time,
and I made an Investigation., I found
Hank and Joe still sleeping and cap
tured the plates and enough packages of
green paper with bills upon the top and
bottom to send Hank and Joe up for long
terms.
Boggs was never prosecuted. Before i
Bismarck's
From Reminiscences of the Prussian
Statesman.
Bismarck was a gay young Prussian
officer when he met Johanna von Puct
kamer. She' dealt him a stunning blow,
You understand, of course, that we are
talking in metaphor. He wrote to Papa
von Puttkamer a formal request for Jo
hanna's little bunch of digits.
Aghast at Bismarck's proposal, the old
gentleman did not absolutely decline it.
Instead, he wrote doubtfully, giving
rather grudging permission of the
young lover to pay a sort of "visit of in
spection" at the Puttkamer home. Bis
marck eagerly hastened to Relnfeld. The
whole Puttkamer family was lined up
to greet him. The father and mother
glared at him solemnly, and Johanna
herself Btood between them, her eyes
cast modestly downward. It was an
awkward woment. The swift, whirlwind
decision that scored Bismarck his later
political triumphs came now to the front
and he carried the situation by storm.
Galloping up the driveway, he leaped
from his horse; ran forward and flung
his arms around Johanna; v taking no
heed of her scandalized parents; catch
ing her to his breast and covering her
blushing face with kisses. After that
there could be no talk of "probation"
or "waiting." The betrothal was an ac
cented fact. Bismarck In his old age
used to tell the story with more delight
than he took In describing his statesman
ship victories, and usually he would wind
up by saying: "She made me what I
n.
To the end of that married' life the
couple wrote each other long and loving
letters eah dav whenever thel' were nnt
together. The iron Chancellor's began
bulge out like two Tale locks and his
tummy pushes him over backward and
sits on him. So then he Is put to bed
and has a horrible dream in -which ha
sees a tall man coming with a black bng
and wakes up and finds this dream com
true, because the doctor is arriving with
a medicine case. It's a week before
Ethelbert is normal again.
"Then among the grown-ups there's
the quaint Christmas custom that has
come down from the Danes or the
Slwashes or somebody, called getting
Btewed. A man starts out Christmas
morning with the best Intentions in
the world. But he takes an egg nog,
and then another egg nog, and then
another egg nog. and then some more
egg nogs and after a while he decid-'S
that so much egg Isn't good for him as
a steady diet and he begins cutting
down the egg part and Increasing the
nog or plain XXX stuff. And eventu
ally the earth becomes void and with
out form and darkness covers the face
of tho earth and he starts home in a
vehicle which looked like a cab when
he got Into It, but turns out to be a
merry-go-round almost immediately,
and the next morning he wakes up
with a breath like a general merchan
dise store and a taste In his mouth
like a garage."
"You speak feclin'ly," said the House
Detective suspiciously. "You muster
been there yourself."
"Well, I do recall one Christmas
when a friend sent me a sot of ancient
histories for a present, bound In red
leather with tan collars and cuffs."
said the Hotel Clerk. "They were very
superior and elevating books, that
made a great show on a center table
and were fine for pressing Autumn
leaves or holding a door ajar. Natur
ally I was very much pleased with
them, and In undertaking to live up
to their classical character I, may have
gone a trifle too far. I recall taking
a betker of Falernian with an old
Greek friend of mine named Isadore
Bacchus, and 6hortly thereafter we
were Joined by his uncle from Ger
many, a delightful old gentleman with
whiskers, named Herman J. Gam
brinus, and we had a split of sack and
a pony of malmsey drawn from the
butt, and what with Jest and quip and
quotations from the' old poets, like
Virgil, and Horace, and Bill Nye, we
made quite an evening of it.
"I remember that going through the
park on the way homo a savage rhodo
dendron made an unprovoked attack
upon me and, while endeavoring to
elude the Infuriated creature I fell over
a bench and was painfully bruised.
Also that when I awoke the following
day, which I did so In the course of
time, a conviction came to me almost
at once that I must have eaten some
thing the night before which disagreed
with me, and carried the disagreement
to the point of openly quarreling
about It."
"You had a hang-over that's wot
wuz the matter -with you." said the
House Detective, knowingly.
"Oh, I wouldn't go so far as to say
that," said the Hotel Clerk, "but I sup
pose a bookkeeper would have been
warranted In calling It the "amount
brought forward.' "
we secured a confession from the two
men he had buncoed so neatly, he had
cashed out his properties in Louisiana
and left for parts unknown. There wan
really no charge against him, hut the
stealing of tho money from tho two
criminals, and neither of tliem cared to
prosecute him on that score. They
seemed to realize, in a rough sort of
equitable way, that they deserved what
they got, and I think both of them had
a higher regard for Boggs becauso of it.
They gave me a good description of
Boggs and told me of several llttlo pecu
liarities of speech and manner which ho
possessed, and I am sure that I met ui
with him down In Mexico some yeai s
later. He was a highly respected manu
facturer and ranch-owner then, and re
puted to be the wealthiest man in tint
State of Sonora. I tried to draw him out
or trap him into saying something about
the incident with the men in New Y'ork,
but he was too smooth for that ruse, to
work. He snnke of New York freely,
but never without lauhine: and I am
sure that his mirth was induced by the
memory of the trick he turned tlicra on
the green-goods men.
Courtship
usually. "My Angel," "Dearest Heart"
or "Most Beloved." They contained
somewhat prosy descriptions of thti work
he was doing, but here and there lie
speaks lovingly of her "hlue-gray-black
eyes," calls her his "Black Sun" and
makes similar remarks. Once he said:
"My metaphor of the "Bhick Sun' is
false. Are you not rather a dark, warm.
Summer night, with fragrance of flowers
and heat-lightning?"
The Countess never cared for nor cul
tivated marital trouble. She stood iv
tween Bismarck and a horde of diplo
mats, bores, savants, human donkeys ami
politicians and took care that his buttons
were on and that the laundryman did
not iron saw edscs on his collars nn.l
shirts. Incidentally she loved the brute
and softened down his rough places until
he become quite human. A woman wlio
understands is the whole Neufchatel. Jo
hanna understood.
Light and Darkness as Itomedle.
New Orleans Times-Democrat.
"Light is good for toothache. Darlcne!
Is bad for it. If you are a toothache .uf
feror. haven't yon often noticed how the
pain In your Jaw Increases when, late at
utght. you turn off ttie lamp and try to
Bleep?"
The speaker was a doctor. lie went cn:
"Light, you see. Is good for the tooth
ache. There are a number of disease it
la good for asthma, cold in the head, ear
ache. These diseases in the dark all grow
worse
"Darkness Is oo1 for a sick headnche
and for neuralgia and for nausea, iliiven't
you noticed ll?"
"I.lplit and darkness they are l-emc'ltr
recognized at last, and today we prescribe
inem me- same ls -we ao quinine or nax."