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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 29, 1908)
TTTE STJ"ND AY OHEGOXIAX, rOTtTLAXD, ypTEMBER 20, 1903. ; : 1908. , OMETIMES I wish IM f-tartl life as one of those cub reporters.- said the Hotel Clerk of the St. Reckless. 'Kur why?" asked the House Detect- ivr. "So's I could grow up- to be the prens nnt of some enormously wealthy man." said the Hotel Clerk. "It's a jrrand trade. It used to be, Larry, that journalism was like virtue. It was Its wn reward. When a reporter wore out his legs or his Imagination, or both, lie became an editor, which is an awful comedown for a reporter, so I'm told, and after that nothing was heard of him by the peneral public until his death at the rtpe age of 87, when, after holding down the exchange desk for I years with a rank somewhere be tween the head office boy and the man who does the questions and answers department, he passed away leaving an estate consisting of a pair of shears and two shares of stock In a building and loan company that went out of husiness In JSM. "But nowadays if he's been sagacious enough to plant his pipes right he Is retained at a large anuual salary to pet tilings Into print for prominent per sons and corporations, or to keep things out of print for them, both of which lie frequently does neither." "I take It that this tiling of betn a press agent must be a growin busi ness." said the House Detective. "I should say it is." said the Hotel I'lerk. "It's growing faster than any thing I know of except the Republican vote, the membership in the Floradora Sextette Alumni Association and the number of old gentlemen who were c-hfldhood companions of Abraham Lin- fin and saved his life that time he al most got drowned while In swimming at a nn a 11 boy. Anybody that is any body, or hopes to he, has a press bu reau to secure publicity, or head it off. Yet I can distinctly remember when there were only three regularly or dained and -recognized press agents in the United States, Major John Burke na.i one and Tody Hamilton was the other two. There were a few itinerant knights errant In fancy vests and white fedoras, wandering around the country two weeks ahead of Rice's "Evangeline" and "Lady Audley's Secret'paying their hotel bills with orders on the treasurer of the troupe and rewarding chamber maids and the dining-room help with passes to the gallery for the opening performance, but they didnt really be long. The Major anl Tody consti tuted the membership of the order. Major Burke would blow Into a coun try office wearing his wild Western hair done up on top of the head and a wide expanse of white shirt front, with a jewelled cluster in the center, that looked like the roof off of a hot house, and suggest the advisability of slipping In a few words in reference to the Bill Show. And Tody Hamilton would arrive In the Spring of the year t-uding passes and 30-cent cigars from every pore and he'd hand in a few .stanzas of natural history stuff about Hons and tigers from which, try as he might, he could not keep the names of two friends of his named Mr. Barnum and Mr. Bailey, from occasionally creep ing in. "Rut now there are press agents ev erywhere. You see them on every hand. Some of the leading theatrical stars ran get along without one. but no large concern can that's liable to In? fined JJ9.OtKi.000 by a careless Chicago Judge any day. I look to see employment Real Meaning of NOW President Roosevelt has became the 'frazzler of nations! The noble Briton sprawls in dumb per plexity, even while lti cousin Jonathan megaphones from the housetops and tweaks t he tail of the clamorous bird o freedom, fclnuland, which Is the seat cf the great British empire and head quarters of the tablo sauce industry, is terrd in bewilderment. The throes of the American Presidential election pros trated a supposedly listless noncom tttant. In chop stick terms. England Is frazzled. Who "frazzled" this haughty Tuition? Mr. Koosevelt, America's retir ing executive, who has just placed "Traz- rie" in the name deathless category with -mollycoddle," 'nature faker" and "shorter but uglier." ' We have gut them beaten to a f raz e '." ejaculated t lie President when he saw how cverythiiiir as coming for Tj.fr. With hawklike eiiR-Tness the correspond- mis pounced upon the incident, and jt hort ly it w as cabled to the lndon ne w spapers, the editors of which con inhered it a ensaiion. Tlfy " printed it head- of "11 Us by the SuffrapeUes' formerly "Mintj for the Household" and row it is loosening the whole tiht little President Koosevelt has a reputat Ion for knowm ic w hat he Is talking about. Therefore it was conceded bv n (Tiieaco invent' ks tor today that "frazzle" must he equipped with both a whyness and wherefore. With this assurance he started out on the trail of the untamed 'frazzle.' First Webster was consulted and Web ster proved to be a clam. "A dictionary f slang, " published before the time of ;or:e Ad-, and. worst of all, compiled by an Knlishman, completely failed to stab the darkness. Then a well-known pc-rtlctan. one of those Interested in a lo-al tteket which slid down to defeat, w .is pa-sjeed the ptizzlo. "To pet 'frazzled mearw to Ret the W tongs thrown Into you," he divulged. "That's what they did to us. You can't pet wis to the full meaning of 'frazzle i:ntl the opposition ruts you on the slide." Uh a pratefnl bow the investigator lft the sad Statesman to his lonesome musinss. Next he tried it on a bulky lvtective Sergeant. "To get "frazzi-d" means $:7 and costs In the cold A. M.," he informed the ln cntsltor. Already friction as to mean Init wm arising. "Getting 'frazz.ed is when you wear daylight through your trotteroases. when your coatsleev-s become s. a Hoped and w Mn your stmplon waft away." said a refined song and dance artist who was prom nadmg in Itandolph street. "It means when you get stranded, when the iak'i contract is broken and you have to hit the- mrit." " 'Frazzled is the word when you get taurht in the rain wearing your new umbrella hat." l!p-d a pretty steno gtapher who denes her high school edu c.u 'M.'f, rain Is fierce on feathers." -i-'iazzlcd 1 the word for us, who I ol notice mmEzX ! agencies springing up soon that will -nn;..lt. nrnvlflln. OFeSS make agents by the day. week or job, and cor respondence schools that will teach press I .11 I . .. V, .... V, . . In Oil gta&V fill y ill till ll iridlllllca, J. - .' the Word Frazzle are gone for Sweeney, sent to Gallagher and named after lennis." explained a racetrack follower, temporarily connected with a catch-as-catch-can lunch counter Job. "Those hombreys in upstate Noo Yawk certainly sported the silks for Huches and his chin goods. Chanler Is panned, an' I'm down to cases." "You don't fall for 'frazzled!' " ex claimed a full-grown 'newsle,' who ap pears in six -rou nd contests under the soorique:. "Madison-street Biff." "Say, don't come across wit dat 1 ain't Jerry lay. Any one knows what 'frazzled' is. It means when you jrit a nuoVe above do surcingle lat wilts you fer de ten count.' 1-ate bulletins A further search by the dauntless investigator has revealed th fact that Mr. Roosevelt's latest big stlck ism 1a authorized in the Century diction ary as follows: "Frazil A Canadian French term of ob scure origin, perhaps a particular use of the French fraisil. cinders, culm, slack, or from the French fraise, a collar ruff, in allusion to the way In which the anchor ice clings around the bowlders at the bottom of a stream; anchor ice.' CURIOUS FACTS WORLD OVER SBKRIA. says an EnBlish tteographer, contains one-ninth of all the land on the globe. Great Britain and all Europe, except Russia, together with the whole of the L'niieU States, could be put Into Si beria. Orsa, In Sweden, has In the course of a generation sold .r'.5..000 worth of trees, and by means of Judicious replanting has( provided for a similar Income every thirty' or forty years. In consequence or the development of thia commercial wealth there are no taxes. Railways and tele phones are free, and so are the school houses, teaching and many other things. In Persia the man who laughs is con sidered effeminate, but free license la given to female merriment. In Madagascar every one wears Bilk, as It Is cheaper there than linen. Reindeer hair Is much used In Norway for tilling" In lifebelts. Its buoyancy Is said to be greater than that of the best cork. Most persons employed In the Venetian glass Industry begin to lose their sight when they are between 40 and 60 year of 'are, and In a short time become blind. This blindness is caused by the excessive heat ajid glare from the furnaces. The river Jordan makes the greatest descent in the shortest distance of any uream. During its course of 1 miles It has twenty-aeven falls and descends vio feet. When the moon la full. In some parts of Africa objects are distinctly visible at a distance of seven miles, while print can be read with ease by starlight. Ostriches have the greatest contempt for Kaffirs and Hottentots, and attack them much more readily than they do white men. The Oreat Barrier Reef, fronting the coat of North Australia, is the largest lessons, by mail. Kven our best little murderers have press .agents on the staff these days. If there's any class to them. A chlvaJric gent takes an automatic gun and shoots some other gent so full of holes that he looks like a Swiss cheese. Then he gets a lawyer and the lawyer gets a press agent, and the press agent gets busy. While the accused is in his cosy cell eating the toilet soap an put GENERAL LEONARD WOOD TAKES COMMAND AT GOVERNOR'S ISLAND, SUCCEEDING GEN izr svmx- v- : .v.. . . .. i NEW YORK, Nov. 2S. (Special.) Gen eral Leonard Wood, returning from the Phlplpplnes, took command at Governor's Island, succeeding Gen. Grant, recently. The ceremony was simple. General Grant and his wife greeted General and Mrs. Wood and surrendered their home to them. General Grant started at once for Chicago. coral reef In the world. It Is over 1000 miles long and 30 miles wide. Many of the women of Poland are re markable for their beauty and grace of form. As a rule the Polls'h girl has ex quisite taste In dress and knows how to blend colors artistically. There are few able-bodied paupers in Holland. A tract of public land, contain ing 6000 seres, is divided Into six model farms, to one of which the person ap plying for public relief is sent Here he Is taught agriculture, and Is subsequently permitted to rent a small holding for himself. Holland also has a forced-labor colony, to which vagrants are sent to do farm and other work, whether they like it or not. One Color From Xeck to Toes. As each week passes. i is seen that women are going in heavily for the one- ting hay In his hair and cultivating that glassy, maniacal stare out of the eyes, and tuning up his knee reflexes for the alienists, and otherwise developing a typical case of the variety of Insanity which appears to be bo catching in a country jail, the press agent Is darting hither and yon, passing out the private correspondence of the lady In the case and picking the last remaining basting threads out of her reputation and mold ing public opinion until the mouldy odor Is noticeable for a long distance. At the trial the press agent Is just as Indispen sable as he would be to Duncan Clark's Lady Minstrels en tour. It used to be hard sometimes to sell ERAL GRANT SI THE PRESS AGENT SUGGESTS A FEW WORDS ABOUT THE SHOW the homeseeker one of those choice sea side residential sites where you can gather clams when the tide's out and bluensh when it's in. If the prospect ive purchaser Insisted dn seeing the property before signing the papers there was danger that he might choose the wrong hour for visiting the place and find his desirable lot at the comer of Oceanview Heights, and Horaedale Ter race could only be viewed by going tow;;""" 22V: ,Z?Sl&3ZO WOOD color line from the collar to the floor. The waist and skirt, if in two pieces, must match. The gown must preferably be from one piece from the collar bone down. ' Even above the collar bone the same color of lace or net is often used instead of white. Indoor frocks, as well as street costumes, are clinging to this one-color effect. The hats do not match the gown, and shoes and gloves need not match It, but if you would be in fashion, see to it that in every hour of the day you are in one color from chin to toe. It is the one-piece gown that has made this fashion compulsory. The separate coat and skirt is not as popular as it has been, for it has given way to the three piece suit. The skirt carries its own blouse, and the coat is added thereto. The total deposits In American savlnirs banks diminished by less than 1 per cent during the last fiscal year. In Pennsyl vania, these Institutions showed an actual gain, thobffh a slight one. during the pe riod of economic depression. Philadelphia Bulletin. 1 j"-r ii,?Ml.a out some distance In a rowboat and fin ishing the trip In a diving suit, which was calculated to cause the deal to fall through unless he happened to be a per son that was fond of fishing and frog legs. But now the realty company gets an ex-sporting editor or something like that to turn out a line of attractive literature dealing with the joys of hav ing a villa within sound of the rom;ing billows and the line of those desiring to own a little swamp land stretches for two blocks. To a modern hotel a press agent is just as necessary as feathers are to a hen. You take one of those Summer hotels that charges corkage on hot water bot tles and has a veranda where there's not room for the guests after dark owing to the dense crowds of mosquitoes that have arrived early and taken all the best seats, although sometimes preferring ankles. But the blithe little press agent slides a few bright paragraphs into the Sunday society columns, stating that Senator Bunkham and his charming family, and Mrs. Putnam Asunder, the fascinating society widow, and the min ister from Bulgaria are among he re cent arrivals at the Hotel Skinmere, and by Wednesday of the following week all the leading families from the interior are reserving front rooms by wire for the entire season. "If it's a city hotel the need for a brisk young publicity promoter is that much greater. Suppose there's a wed ding in the Red Parlor with very ro mantlo features, such as the groom being in the wholesale hardware business at East Liverpool, O., anj having met his fair bride at a normal school commence ment in Michigan City. There's nothing like having a lad around the shop who can slip over the unique details on all the city editors in town and get the name of the hotel In the top headlines. Or, suppose it's a case where a slim-built bellboy is boosted over the transom of the room where a casual guest, register ing without baggage, has written a short vaiedlctory and then turned on the gas. Who undertakes to soften the heart of the Coroner so he'll consent to open the window and let all the evidence out? Who frames it up to make the reporters believe that the stranger really suc cumbed to heart failure in a vacant lot on the next block? Who, but the press agent kid? "A lady suffering from a malignant case of sudden wealth moves In from the fine cut country, where chewing tobacco is regarded as the proper salad course, with designs of an inside na ture on some ancestral society. What does she do? Why, she communicates her heart's longings to the right kind of a press agent and Inside of a week the word is "going round that her grandfather was on such Intimate terms with Israel Putnam that he al ways called him Izzy, thus putting- her an even nose ahead of the other social climber, whose great uncio by marriage was merely engineer of the ferryboat that time when Washington crossed the Delaware. "But it's the truly rich who find the most need of a private press depart ment. Along about the age of life when he's treed all the available cur rency in the known world, o.d Mr. Mil lionaire discovers, that he's still shy something. He looks around to ascer tain what It is he's missed and he dis covers that it's friendship. He makes more money in a minute than Mike Casey, who drives the streetcar, makes In a year,"" but when it comes to hav ing friends, Mike's got him taking the Trolley Traffic in JEIectrio Railroads Have Banished Much of City's Charm. TO UNDERSTAND what streetcars mean to a place like Tokio one needs to keep in mind that the capital city of Japan covers a territory that Is said to be as large as that of London and has a population of about. 2.000,000. If you are at all disconcerted b: the number of miles as compared to the number of peo ple your mind niy be set at ease by the reflection that Tokio consists for the most part of one-story and two-story houses to the top of the first story of which you can often reach with your out stretched hand so that by the necessity of the case it requires a gret deal of room to store away a small number of people. If you are a stranger in Tokio, to whom the Japanese spoken language is unknown and the ideaograph signs on the cars are a mystery, and If you are dependent on your jinrikisha ien, properly instructed by those who speak the vernacular, to go about, you will realize the magnificent distances of the island metropolis. Your jinrikisha man will trot and , trot until you wonder how strength can be left In his nimble legs and breath in his body, but you will Geemingly be no nearer your destination than when you started. After a while, your time being limited, you will hit on the expedient of having your directions written out for you in Japanese. These you will hand to the conductor of the trolley-car and he will be as particular about putting you off at the right point as you are afraid that he won't. Then, your carfare being about one-twentieth of that of a jinrikisha and vour saving in time very great, you will begin to appreciate what the Introduction of trolley-cars meant to the people of Tokio. It Isn't as picturesque a method of loco motion, by any manner of means. It's a little hard on the Jinrikisha men. who naturally don't like it, since it throws them out of Jobs. It cuts down the charm of Tokio, allying Itself with the ugly European buildings and the stores in the modern style. Still, you recognize and are rather grateful-for the advance it marks in the life and convenience of the people. Evidently the Japanese appreci ate its advantages, for daily 400.000 fares are collected on the 750 cars which run through the various parts of the city. There are foreigners who will tell you. perhaps in the condescending and mock ing spirit toward the Japanese which dis tinguishes them, that the Japanese always will choose the longest way around in going between any two given points, using every possible transfer in order to get their money's worth. If this be true It Is a little hard on the streetcar company, but It goes to show that, despite all modern time-saving in ventions, the commendable spirit of leisure still obtains In the Orient. If there Is an accident or If the electric current leaves the wire, which seems to happen with . strange regularity every other hour or so, and the cars pile up for blocks around as far as you can see, nobody regrets the delay very much. All the male passengers, if need be, are ready to give the slight conductor a helping hand. Being a foreigner, and therefore. LJ; IM HIS CELL bankruptcy law. So he lures some publicity expert In to help him in the job of spreading sweetness and light all over the premises. "Thus we find the -uccessful finan cier enthroned alone in his inner sanc tum wearing a hard boiled face, garn ished with side whiskers. He taps a bell. One of those shrinking wind flowers that rich men love to surround themselves with, opens the door a quar ter of an Inch and oozes through, trembling slightly. Large capitalists with defective livers always seem to prefer secretaries that are tall and slen der and have pale yellow complexion! like a sprig of Michigan celery. I sup pose it takes a few of the umlauts off an Inverted disposition to be able to hav, somebody around that will quiver vio lently and turn a light green color when spoken to. "Our financier barks at his servitor once or twice Just to hear his teeth chatter and' then says: 'Send in Mr. Pulps." The human lizard departs, crawling on his stomach in a noiseless manner, and in comes Wood Pulps, the reformed space grabber. When he was a regular reporter, he sometimes made one shirt do the work of two, and he was often careless about his hair, but now he's all dressed up like Vanderbllt's cook. 'Pulps,' says his employer, 'It is my intention to smear on about eighty millions, endowing a few hospitals and colleges and things. Do you .think you could induce the papers to print a few lines about itr And Pulps, knowing that he has a story which any city editor would give both his legs for, winks an in terior wink to himself and says It'll be a hard Job, but he'll try." "The press agents for millionaires have the easiest .time of all, I s'pose," said the House Detective. "Don't you think It," said the Hotel Clerk. "A rich man spends 60 years growing a pair of horns for himself and then expects his press agent to trade 'era off for a halo over night." Capitol of Japan It 1b to be taken for granted. In a hurry, you will have to fall back, after all, on onw of the Jinriklslias, which are to be found at every" corner. While you may Inveigh against their comparative slow ness, you will highly commend their su re nt; ss. If you are that rare and strange bird, a foreigner and not in a hurry, and if you can possess your soul in patience, you will find more than ample compensation for the delay In the opportunity given for a study of your fellow-passengers. There, beside you. are the coolies in their neat uniforms of blue cotton, with the names of their guilds worked in large white let ters on the backs of their coats. Titers are old men and women, carrying odd little medicine boxes, from which they carefully abstract pills and then slip them back in the sleeves of their kimonos. These ancient ones have seen many changes come over tile face of Japan. They were here long before the trolley, and perhaps they regret the good old times when walking was even chenprr than a 2-cent carfare. There are groups of schoolgirls, frequent patrons of the cars, dressed in kimonos and divided skirts of scarlet, 'their books and papers tucked away in neat red bags, laughing, chattering and, very likely, making fun of your own odd appearance. And But your observations will be Inter rupted by the Inevitable young scholar, with his English book, anxious to make hay while the car is off the trolley and improve his English by conversing witn you. Chicago News. The Boy's Sacrifice. Cleveland Plain Dealer. He was a good little boy and very thoughtful. He had heard about the great scarcity of water throughout the country. He came Jlo his mother and slipped his hand into hers. "Mamma." he said, "is It true that in some places the little boys and girls have scarcely enough water to drink?" "That Is what the papers say, my dear." "Mamma," he presently said, "I'd like to give up somethin' for those poor little boys and girls." His mother gave him ft fond look. "Yes, dear. And what would you like to give up?" "Mamma," he said. In his earnest way, "as long as the water is so very. vey scarce I think I ought to give up bcln' washed!" The Blockade. St. Louis Republic. There's fear in Venezuela. r"or the Dutch are otr the hor; Their smoky little warships Are prepared to rip an roar. The fortress guns are loaded And the Venezuelans trust They'll never have to shoot 'em 'Cause they're pretty sure to bust. The ports are all blockaded In a mighty skeery way; The boats of Wllhelmlna Are patrolin' every bay; The peevish Castro's navy Is beside the roallne; pier; And soon some fierce dl-siiatrhea W ars prtty sure to hear. -- I .. i ' : ! ' '
