The Sunday Oregonian., November 15, 1908, Section Six, Image 61

THE SUXDAY OREGOMAX. PORTLAND. NOVEMBER 15, 1908.
1 c gr
STARTLING A
HT JAMES WATSON
H K main fatret of a Persian town
I Is no pleasant pla.ce at the best of
tlma for uoyone who has nose;
but when aotne special cause has crowded
It witn a mob of tierce Mohammedans
from tin fturrounriinff country. when
K happens to be one of tho hottest days
of Summer, and when, above all, on
ia loat one's way. there Is much truth
appJifnt In the cynical M Russian pro
vrrh. "The happiest place Is where we
are cot.
Mich were my own thoughts, as I
fnuicht my way through the flood of
stn'liiig camels. lalen .donkero. veiled
women. hare-Umb-'d native pa.-ants. tur
tanrd tra.lers. iVrce-eyed Tartars In hlRh
her pukin caps, and gaunt, sinewy, iwag
lIPnr.K Kurds from the mountains, with
ltii K suns on their shoulders.
The mon t hly market had crowded to
overttowlnR all the narrow, crooked,
fil'l.y struts of th Persian border town
of Kurdanh. past which the swift, dark
ttrt am of thu Aras or Araxes the boun
dary line between Persia and Russia
went swlrllns; on Its lontC Journey east
ward down to th Caspian Sea.
Amid such a chaos I had Utile hope of
fin dir. g my way unaided back to the so
called "lnu" which, while giving- to the
traveler the shelter of its walls, expected
him to brlnff everything else along with
);im; and I had no wlnn to draw atten
tion to myself by asking my way. at a
time when the cry of '"Kill the unbeliev
er' would have ben promptly taken up
'by any Moslem mob from Constantinople
-to Calcutta-
Something must be dune, however, and
tspeedily, too, for the sun was growing
'hotter every moment, and the combined
odor of rancid oil, stale fish, rotting gar
bajte. raw hides, dried manure, and un
'wanned human beings was becoming so
1 overpowering as almost to make me wish
'myself In the plight of the ancient
statues at Rome, which are aald to lose
their noses in order to save themselves
from the bad smells of the town
All at once I espied 6n my right. In
the doorway of a house somewhat more
respectable than the rest, a tall man in
native dress with a face- more promising
than the lean, dark, wolflab visages
'.round me.
T'p to htm I stepped accordingly, and.
greeting him with the talis man la
"Amaunr (peace), I proceeded to ask my
I way In the best Persian that I could
muster.
At the sound of my voice the itranger
zsin-td visibly, and amazed ma by an
iawering In English:
"What! you here? Well, thia whips
'.all! I'd as soon have expected, to meet
I the President himself.
The speaker had a face aa brown as
1' -my own. and a beard and turban worthy
of a Pasha: but his clear, rather high
Tt''hd voice, crisp, incisive Tankee ac
K'nt, and Western phraseology, suggested
! thought which, the sight of his form,
aqullino profile, keen gray eye, and
in arrvd cheek, at once turned Into a cer
tainty. Hve years had passed since that
'man and X last looked upoA each other's
'faces, amid the whirl and uproar of a
1 .Kulparian battlefield: and now, on the
borderline between Europe and Asia, we
unexpectedly met once. more.
""Well, doctor. I am sure I may say
th ssme." quoth I, for this Is the very
lnt place where I should have thought
of faring in with you. If it were not that
yon have a way of always turning up
Jut where you are least expected."
" That's so." laughed Dr. Diocletian Q.
JlUH3htt. as he hartily shook hands
with me. ""Well, if thse quarters of
niln aren't much to boast 1 guess
you U find 'em a bit cleaner Than that
Inn of your-, anyhow; so I'll Just send
a coupln of my critters to bring over
your haig". and you'd beet stay right
h-r till it comes."
The hospitable offer was accepted as
frankfv as It we made; and over the best
run f c-one t hat I had tasted since
crossing t lie Persian frontier, my friend
tu i!.'t or, gave me the history of his
rw-nt mi vent ures.
"And now." he wound up. at the end of
a l:?t of Mart ling experiences and halr
hiN.U'h escape. "I've got ouite a fine
ll'tl tratc n this town, thoush I have
n-t bri hre loiifiajtdlf I keep on like
this, i reckon it won't be Jong before
1 v mail my pile. It's apt to be a little
an k ward S'itettines. though, for they've
got to think that I am Junt ttte biggest
kind of uiaglian. and can do whatever
) want to; and only the other day they
brousi t to a dead man and wanted me
t- nttse him to life again."
" nd what on earth did yma doT"
a-kil T. gallantly choking down my
laughter.
"I looked as solemn as I could." aatd
th d-K-tor, with a sly twinkle In his
eve. nd told them that It was not the
wtu of heaven that this man should lire
sc.i!n. for. If he did. great and gr.evous
mis tort unes would bolull htm. WelU I
ftu'.ss I've got to leave you now, for I'm
wanted to go and see the Governor, who
thinks he Im desperately ill. though there's
noMung in creation the matter with him,
except that-he never takes any exercise,
an t eats as If there were no hereafter.
Ju-t make yourself snug hero till I come
ba.-k, will you? So long."
The hoepttahl doctor's house, built In
the Eastern style, was also furnished in
true Oriental fashion, with curtains In
the place of doors, and divans of soft
cushions by way of chairs. Upon one of
these I stretched myself to await my
host's return; and, as I had been trav
eling most of the night, and trumping
round the town undr a hot sun for the
greater part of the morning, It was not
surprising that I soon dosed off to sleep.
The tirst thing that aroused me was a
discordant yell of "Allah-hu ackbarl"
(od is most great), apparently so close
at hand that It sounded as If uttered lo
the very room Itself.
"What this meant I needed no one to
tt1!! me; for such a phenomenon had come
In my way not a few times In the course
of my Kastern travels. A Dervish one
of those dirty. Idle, useless rogues whom
Moslem suotrstltion reveres as holy
men" had taken his seat In the porch of
my friend s house, and meant to remain
there, and to make himself as great a
nuisance as possible, till he was well paid
to go away.
Here wns a dilemma; and I Inwardly
wondered how my host would contrive to
gt out of lt.
To pay the howling rogue would simply
encourac him and his fellow rascals to
com bi k as often as they liked. Not
to pay Mm would be to mako the house
untenable, for he would then (according
ty the well-known hubit of his class In
u Ii a case) keep up an Incessant howl
ing all nlgl.t long, while fleepir.g in the
ciavtmie; and as for removing him by
fn:e-. any "unbeliever" who. in that hot
Iv.t of Moslem fanaticism, should dure to
10 hand upon a holy Dervish, would
rertHtr.ly be torn to pieces on the spot
b tiie enraged mob.
Km:u thsc sortiber musings T was sud-Ir:!-
ro;s-d by the cheery voice of my
ltt. who came In looking as frankly
g-r;:;il as ever.
"What are you going to do now. doc
tor? ' aked I.
"With that critter in the porch, you
mean?" rnt.1 the doctor coolly. "Well,
It wont take long to pet rid of him. I
reckon. I 'provided for Uiat contln-gepi-y
ps the newspapers are alwavn ,
eaytngi some time ago; and I guess he'll
.Mn nnd o-k that I've got tte Inside i
tru'-k of him." I
The knowing nni with which my
Crlc;.d spoke allowed ma that he felt him
self master of the situation, though, at
the moment. I could not for the life of
zne sea how.
Just then a confused murmur of many
voices was heard outside; and, peeping
through the lattice-window that kept out
the blinding sunlight, I saw the whole
street 4 locked with an eager crowd,
whose faces were all turned expectantly
toward the porch of our house.
"This is the first time that I've been
bothered with one of these Dervteh dev
ils." said my host, "and these folks are
waiting to see If the magician (as they
call me) can get the better of a Drvltih.
f
0n '' t
II :
S5BMll
He went flynig beed
V1I, I Hmuhow hre a notion that he
can."
fin myln he etepped forth onto the
pon-fi. I following. -hlle tlie gazliiir
crowd wetohed breathleiwly to lire what
would happen.
The:-. nt the dervish, a flltliy. half
naJtei. ruffianly tramp, tlie vary typa of
the Oriental at hl worst. He replied
with the coarse Insolence of hi, claas to
the doctor' mild request that ha would
betake hlmaelf elfiewhere, and roughly
declared that he was not oing to be or
dered about by any unbelieving dor. and
that ha would stay there aa long as he
liked, unless th. "Infidel" chose to give
him a bountiful alma.
"Hadst thou asked charity tn beflttlnK
fashion." aald tha doctor lu Persian, "'it
should have been given thee freely: but
since thou hast thus rudely demanded It.
not one aspar (one cent) sholt thou get.
"What aalth the Prophet himself? Be
courteous, even to an unbeliever, for so
It befits the servants of Allah (God to
be.' Hearken. O people." he added,
turning to th. crowd, wha were visibly
Impressed with this quotation from their
own sacred writings, and the solemnity
with which It was uttered.- "Ye all know
A Strange Fellow Passenger
EXCUSE my saying, gentlemen, that
you are quite mistaken as to th
sensations of being burned alive. I
ought to know something of them, for I
nave been burned alive myself!"
The remark was a sufficiently startling
one, and doubly so aa being the first time
that our strange fellow-passenger bad
broken silence since the starting of the
train that was carrying us from St. Pe
tersburg to Moscow: and all five of us
even the two young Russian officers
whose thoughtless jesting had provoked
this singular comment turned eagerly
toward him to bear what more he would
ear
What kind of man he was It Was not
easy to tell. Green glasses hid his eyes,
and a long overcoat (though the weather
was still pretty warm) shrouded his whole
figure, as If he had a cold. And such,
In fact, seemed to be the case, for bis
voice, though as rich and harmonious a
one as I ever heard, was broken every
now and then by a kind of scraping
cough, as If a crumb were Irritating his
throat.
"ilav I venture to ask how that hap
pened?" asked I. Instinctively scenting a
good story.
All the rest warmly seconded my ap
plication, and the stranger replied with a
courteous bow:
"You are very welcome to the story,
gentlemen, if you are so good as to care
to hear It. -In my younger days I de
voted myself a good deal to science (my
name Is Professor Kalksteln, at your serv.
lre. and more especially to ' chemistry ;
and In the south of Spain where 1 was
living at the time I learned not a few
valuable secrets from the descendants of
the Moors of (irenada. who had made far
greater advances in that direction than 1
DERVISH
well that no magic can prevail against
one that Is truly a holy man; and
therefore. If my mafic can cast hlra
forth without laying a hand upon him.
your own eyes shall see that he Is but a
cheat, and that In him there Is no holi
ness at all!"
And. without another word, he went
back into the house.
Aa he vanished, the dervish, who had
for an instant looked somewhat uneasy,
seemed to pluck up hia courage once
more, and set up a fresh yell of "Alla-hu
ack-bar!" But his defiant shout ended
In a shrill scream, as he went flying
o- bodlfl-
head-over-heels into - the road, and lay
kicking- and writhing In the dirt, grim a
ring and screeching like a scalded mon
key. Instantly the whole throng, as 1f fear
ing that the great magician might strike
them dead on the spot, or turn them Into
dogs or hyenas, took to their heela aa
one man: and the crestfallen dervish,
as soon as he was able to stand, rushed
headlong after them.
"How on earth did you do that, doc
tor?" asXed I, tn amazement.
"Well, I went down below, and I
hitched to that Iron grating on which he
sat the wire of my electric battery, and
I guess he has bad just about enough of
It for a spell:"
My host was right, for the fcullylng
Intruder had been so thoroughly fright
ened that be never showed his face with
In a mile of the dreaded house again
and so greatly was the doctdr's credit
as a magician heightened by this victory
that, so long as I remained In the town.
the mere fact of my being his guest suf
fleed to nmke everyone treat m with the
extreme of terrified civility.
(Copyright, 19, by the McClur. News
paper Syndicate.)
our modern historians seem to have any
Idea of.
Weil. I happened to be making experi
ments with a burning acid which needed
very careful handling. I had been mixing
a kind of clay paste, tinctured with sul
phur, when I saw the cup that held th,
acid quiver as If Just about to tip over;
and, darting out my hnd to seize it, I
thrust my forefinger into the burning
liquid!
"Just for a moment (as often happens
In such cases) I never thought of being
surprised that my finger had not "been
burned off to the very knuckle bone, as
It certainly ought to have been. Then,
alt at once, the man-el burst upon me,
and I beld my breath, so to speak, at the
shock of the great discovery that I was
Just going to make,
"Quick as thought, I dipped my finger
again In the sulphur paste, and then
plunged it onoe more into the scorching
acid.
"Then I suddenly became aware of a
sensation of piercing cold all through the
finger, just aa If I had steeped It In snow,
Instead of a corrosive powerful enough to
burn me like a red-hot poker? and In
that moment I realized the full meaning
of my new discovery.
"For the next three days I was Hke a
man in a dream, thinking of nothing but
this new Idea of mine. I cvas well aware,
of course, that the same principle had
teen applied by Jugglers and sleight-of-hand
men. who were wont to handle red
hot Iron and molten lead with apparent
Impunity, after the application to their
hands of a peculiar preparation of soap:
but this application was only partial, and
Its effect lasted only a few minutes,
whereas I hoped to make it permanently
enduring, and to render a man's whole
body proof not only against fire, butJL
against disease likewise, and perhaps even
to expand the very limit of human exist
ence!" "And did you succeed?" asked one of
, the young officers eagerly, for the nax-
rater had uttered his last words with a
fire and energy which moved us all.
"Judge for yourself," said the profes
sor, gravely. "I see you do not believe
my story; but If you will take the trouble
to hold a lighted match to my hand you
will perhaps be convinced."
The young Russian obeyed; and we all
saw with amazement that the iflame
played harmlessly over the extended
hand, nor did the scientist show the least
sign of pain.
"I will not weary you. gentlemen," went
on the professor, as coolly as if nothing
had happened, "with the details of the
various experiments by which I developed
my discovery. Suffice it to say that after
many trials I at last succeeded In develop
ing a preparation which would make me
absolutely fireproof: and. as .you have
Just seen, the effect (as I hoped) has
been permanent. But what Is the mat
ter here?"
We had Just halted at the station from
which the branch to the ancient capital
of Russia forks off from the main line;
and, right opposite our carriage, an eager
and noisy throng was pressing around a
placard pasted on the wail.
Out Jumped one of the young subalterns
and elbowing his way with scant cere
mony through the crowd around the pla
card, came back to report to us that It
was the offer of a large reward for the
apprehension of Peter Voroff, a noted St.
Petersburg thief, who had startled the
whole capital two days before by one of
the most daring and successful jewel rob
beries on record.
"Well. I hope with all my heart that
they will catch him," cried the professor,
warmly. 'for such rascals are the pest
of society and deserve no mercy!"
"Could you not .discover some prepara
tion to make a man proof against thieves.
Mr. Professor?" said one of the Russian
officers, with a sly chuckle.
"I wish I could," replied the scientist,
"but the only safeguard that I can think
of is the one which I myself possess to
have nothing to be robbed of."
As the train started up again, we en
treated the professor to go on with his
story, which he did as follows:
"Having perfected my invention. I
tested It by anointing myself from head
to foot with the preparation, and then
lying right down In a huge fire that I
had kindled for the purpose. As before,
my first sensation was a feeling of pierc
ing cold, which seemed to course through
every nerve of my -body, and thus I
learned that Just as extreme cold will at
times produce the effect of heat, so ex
treme heat may, under certain condi
tions, produce the effect of cold.
"I was delighted at my success, as you
may suppose; but little did I dream, in
the height of my satisfaction, what kind
of test was just about to be applied to
my new discovery.
"Happening to go Into the town a few
days later for, as a rule, I did not go
out of my house more than once or twice
a week I found all Toledo In an uproar.
'The air was filled with fierce shouts,
savage curses and shrill cries of. terror,
and every street swarmed with gaunt,
dark, wolfish faces, not a few of which
scowled threateningly at me as I went by,
while I could hear more than one fero
cious looking fellow growling a muttered
curse against the perro estrangero (dog
of a foreigner).
"Just at first. I was quite at a loss to
think what all this excitement could
mean; but I understood it at once when
I gathered from their talk that they had
Just got the first news of the invasion of
tipaln by Napoleon!"
" Again we all exchanged looks of
amazement, and I blurted out:
"Excuse me. Napoleon overran Spain
in 1808. and this Is 1867. You surely
cannot be serious In telling 'us that you
are really old enough to have, made an
important discovery in science nearly 60
years ago!
'I am not Joking! said the professor.
quietly, "but I can hardly blame you for
thinking so, for no one ever takes me
for 85."
Nor, In truth, did we. Of his face we
could see little, and not a particle of
beard or hair was left visible by the close
fitting cap and the silk handkerchief that
was tied round his head; but his voice
had nothing of the feebleness of age, and
his gestures were full of life and vigor.
After that, as. you may think. he
went out, "I showed myself In the streets
as little as possible; but all my care did
not save me, for I already had fixed
upon me an eye that no one could escape.
You are doubtless aware, gentlemen, that
Toledo was at that time the chief scat
of the Inquisition."
I ought to be aware of it, anyhow.
said I, to whom he turned as he spoke;
"for one of my own .ancestors got Into
trouble with It. and "had a very narrow
escape."
"I need not tell you, then, he rejoined,
that, in a time of such universal excite
ment and suspicion, the Inquisition was
likely to be socially active; and, most
unluckily for me, there were in my case
certain facts which, utterly trivial as they
would have seemed to any raanof ordi
nary sense, were more than enough to
condemn me at that season of popular
madness, when (as you will doubtless re
member) 300 quiet traders had just been
butchered in Valencia alone for no rea
son but that they were foreigners.
'One morning, In came my old servant.
as palo as death: but, before she could
speak, I saw in the doorway two black,
horrid shadows, the first glimpse of
which told me, the whole story. They
were the 'Familiars' of the Inquisition,
with their black hoods drawn over their
faces, and nothing to be seen but the
glitter of their eyes through eyelet-hales:
and tbey laid their hands upon me with
out a word, and led me away for, of
course. It would have been useless to
resist.
"I asked them why I was arrested, but
they gave ma no answer; and it was not
till the nexj day that I learned that I
was accused of sorcery!
'The evidence against jne my lonely
life, the strange experiments that I was
making, and my Intimacy with the old
Moor, who was, of course, supposed to
have the whole Black Art at his finger-
ends would have been laughed at by any
man who was not an idiot; but nothing
is too monstrous for Ignorance and su
perstition to believe, and at that time
(as I said Just now) tbe whole nation
was mad. I was pronounced guilty, and
sentenced to be burned alive.
All this, however, I learned later on;
for at that time It wit all like a troubled
dream. I have since been told that I
answered with great boldness at my trial;
but. upon my word, I have no recollection
whatever of having been tried at all.
The only Shing that I do recollect and
remember that -as II It were yesterday
is the last morning of all, when they
led me out to die.
(To be concluded next week.)
(Copyright, 1808. by the McClure News
paper syndicate.)
Saved by Pony.
A boy 16 years old, named Otto Gil
bert, the son of a Texas ranchman, was
out riding on his pony one day a few
weeks ago when. In crossing a creek, the
animal found itself In quicksand. It
gave a spring tnat unseatea tne ony, ana
while the pony reached the bank, the boy
was left to struggle and sink. When he
was down to hits hips In the treacherous
sand the pony came galloping back to
him, and. In moving about on the bank.
It switched Its rail within reach of the
lad, and be seized It and was pulled
shore. It was not contended that the
pony switched Its tall to save the boy,
but his young master thinks Just as
much of him as if he did.
TRUE BALLOON ADVENTURES
EARS ago I had the honor of being
the aeronaut to make the first par
achute descent in the ' Southern
Hemisphere, which, incidentally, result
ed in two exciting adventures to a boy
hitherto unknown to me until I was
soaring in the air preparatory to making
my descent for the edification of the vast
crowd gathered in the Plaza Victoria of
the beautiful City of Buenos Ayres. cap
ital of the Argentina Republic.
I was engaged by the government Itself
to perform this novel feat as a feature, of
the National Independence feats. As
flV
' i JT.'W...-
lit, 2il T f
J 'I
A TfRRIFJC EXPLOSION THAT
there was a light breeze from tbe west,
I knew that I would be carried over the
River Rio de la Plata; therefore. Instead
of uinr a car I stood on a small board
fastened to the parachute and gave the
word to let go the rop?s which held the
balloon to . the earth. The parachute
was attached below the aerostat In such
a way that when I cut it loose the bal
loon would turn over and descend per
haps as soon as I did with my parachute
The band played some lively tunes and
shouts of the multitude rent the air ad I
soared above the city, waving my flags.
When I looked up at the balloon I saw
a small boy banging on the side of the
parachute, fast In the net which I had
placed over it for greater safety should
it collapse during the descent. I knew
at once, that I could not cut away the
parachute to make my descent with it,
as the boy might be killed- by being
thrown off from the. oscillation of the
parachute In Its rapid descent with two
Instead of one passenger. I therefore
quickly decided what course to follow.
,, , i i i ...... S .... .
Mfkjmi., ;4,;
v3n tyi v'.c fcrs? jt Li i-v-x
. : rrXJ
How You May Become a
THH t-AiiL Ot tne stage, na muscula
tion of the footlights, that sooner er
later gets a hold on most boys, had
taken possession of Tommy. The high
school was to give a minstrel show, and
Uncle Dick bad promised bis assistance.
I So you can well Imagine how warm was
the welcome the old gentleman tweivea
when he showed up at the woortslnd
bright and early on Saturday morning.
"I thought you would be here ahead of
me," remarked Uncle Dick with a smile.
"Well, I talked the matter over with Mr.
Smith the other night and we concluded
that a certain old scheme of his would
Just about fill the bill. It made a bis hit
when 'BUI' Smith and 'Lotr.e' Bocks first
sprang it In the old red uchoolhousA But
that's another story, as Mark Twain sa d
when be built another audition to his
house. How would you like to gl-e a.
ventriloquial act. Tommv?"
"That would be soiendid." said Tommy;
"only I am not a ventriloquist. '
"That doesn't matter." replied Uncle
Dick. "You're going to be the greatest
ventriloquist that ever was. And here
are the plans and specifications showing
you Just how to do It. By tlie way. where
is that chum of yours who Is such a good
mimic. tha one who sings the coon
"""Why, that's Johnny Bright. He will
be here pretty soon now."
Sure enough, Johnny presently made
his appearance, and they looked over the
drawings together.
"That's great!" cried Tommy; "ar.d
there won't be any trouble at all tn ai
ranging the speaking tube under the
floor. The auditorium at the high school
is on the first floor, so the hose can run
along the floor beams in the cellar and
come up right behind the scenes."
"All right," said Uncle Dick, "T coaxed
your mother to give you one of those, old
dining-room chairs, so you can run up to
the house and get it."
Tommy's tool-chest did not contain a bit
long enough to bore a hole through the
chair-leg, but Johnny Bright solved the
problem. The leg was sawed through
lengthwise, exactly In the center, an,; a
half-circle gouged out of eaJa piece from
tlie bottom to where the iec 1;ned' the
chair seat. A section of half-inch gas
called to hira to hold fast until we de
scended into the river.
We reached a height of several thou
sand feet and then gradually descended
intb the Rio de la Plata, about a mile
from the shore. When the multitude saw
the boy clinging to the parachute there
was a tremendous rush to the bank of
the river to see the result of the acci
dent. On reach tlio water I sank up to
my waist, when my rubber life-belt k?pt
rr.e In a standing position until a boat
reached us; the boy was taken from the
parachute before reaching the water, as
the balloon was still partially Inliatea.
BLEW BE Off INTO THE.
Soon hundreds of people came with
several boats and escorted us to a long
pier, built out a thousand feet or more
into the -river. The boy said, in explana
tion, that he was pushed by the crowd
on the parachute before I ascended, and
when the balloon went up the ropes
caught his legs and carried him up with
tfie.
When we arrived on shore, there was
great rejoicing. . that we had both re
turned safe, . by the vast crowd that
waited to welcome us. Tha different
clubs and wealthy people, especially the
Italian merchants (as the boy was from
Lombardy, Italy) made up quite a large
sum of money for him.
He was so elated over his thrilling ad
venture that he wanted ma to. make an
aeronaut of him at once. As he was a
bright, intelligent lad, I would have been
happy to have accepted his offer to go
with me, but as he was an orphan and
apprenticed for some years to a painter,
he could not leave without his master's
consent. The painter siad that he could
not part with such a fine boy and that
he loved him as much as if he had been
pipe was then fitted In the bottom so It
protruded slightly. The halves were now
glued together and replaced in the cAair.
"You'll have to practice . errv uay.
Tommy, so you can walk out on the
stage, carrying the chair careless-like and
setting It down so tbe gas pipe fits in the
hole in the floor.:' Tommy thought he
could do that after a while, and they
took up the question of mannlkins.
Johnny Bright was a very good mimic.
He could sing a coon song and talk
Chinese dialect like a professional. "You
will notice," said Uncle Dick, "that I
didn't make any drawing of the costumes.
That is better left to your mamma. The
colored gent ought to have a clawhammer
coat, aad you can copy John the laundry
man's Sunday clothes for the Chink.
"The heads you will have to make
yourselves. Ught pine Is the best ma
terial, simply because it cuts easily. You
can get some odds and ends of planks
from a sawmill for nothing, and clue the
pieces together to make a block about
seven inches square. Then, with a chisel
and gouge, block out your bead, grad
ually getting It into shape. Scoop out
the lower inside to allow the lower Jaw
to wag freely by pressing on It with your
forefinger. Finish uo with sandpaper and
paint the complexion to suit. You don't
have to be overparticular with them. As
a matter of fact, the more grotesque you
make them the better. The body Is a
simple affair. A hollow backbone, to
carry the voice up and inside the Jaw
opening. Is the main point. This can be
wound with excelsior or rags, to give It
shape. The arms and legs can be tied
on instead of the way I have drawn
them. You can carve the wooden shoes
on the legs to fit the different characters
or put real shoes on them. Be careful
to have the coat tails of your dummy
long enough to drape naturally over the
rubber hose that connects the hollow
backbone with the chair leg.
"Now, we will assume that the eventful
night of the show has arrived and the
stage manager has given you your cue to
go out. Of course, you will be scared
half to death, but you must assume a
nonchalant air. Carrying the mannikln
in your left hand, pick up the chair with
vour right and walk out on tlie stage.
While making your bow to the audience J
his own child. I told the boy to study
scientific books. learn mathematics well
and read all about constructing balloons
and parachutes, and when he was old
enough he could make his own aerostats.
It appears that lie rollowed my advice. I
met hlin afterward In Italy, and he re
lated to me his adventure in ballooning
a?" follows:
"After I had so uneonsciotisly beeome'
a hero and so suddenly risen to fame by
my experience with you. I did not at
first intend to leave my master until my
time was up. but I kept thinking of the
money I hud made so quickly after my
unexpected ascent, and often dreamed
that I was flying through the air. and
that great multitudes were cheering me
for my pluck and interpidity while per
forming such daring experiments.
"I became acquakned with a country
man of mine, a taiior. who grew very
fond of me. He told me that he had
help you cut and put together the two
large balloons which you constructed at
Buenos Ayres: that he had directed the
women how to sew the seams; he also
had found the men who made the nets,
valve, varnish and basket. He offered to
furnish the money and build a balloon
and go with me from city to city If I
would make the ascents. He said he
would pay the painter a certain sum of
money for the loss -of my services for
the rest of my apprenticeship, if that
would be satisfactory to him.
"I concluded that if my master did not
give hts consent for mo to go, I would
run away from him. I was therefore
highly delighted when he said lie would
prepare to go with us to look after me
for fear something might happen to nie;
that he would become a partner In the
business and help me look after my share
of the proceeds, should there be any re
ceived by tho new enterprise.
"Tt was agreed that we should first go
to Montevideo, as that was the nearest
large city. Accordingly, a contract was
made between the painter and tailor, an-i
they constructed a small gas balloon of
fine cotton material, and we went to try
our. luck at Montevideo, the capital of
Uruguay. The Plaza del Torus was ob
tained for the ascent. Fortunately for us.
an officer of the army had been up In a
balloon, at Paris. He knew something
about the management of one and was
quite anxious to ascend with me. To this
I 'readily agreed.
"As it was the first ascent for many
years In that city, a great crowd gath
ered to see us off and a large sum of
money was received from the salo of
tickets. The day was delightful and the
wind was toward the land, so we had
no fear of going over the ocean or the
Rio de la Plata. We had a. magnificent
view as we rose above the city to the
height of several thousand feet, and were
carried on a southern breeze over the
land for a few miles. The balloon then
reached a higher current and we were
taken In an easterly direction. Before
we were aware of it a strong breeze had
commenced blowing toward the sea. I
pulled the valve cord, but before we
could reach the ground we were swept
lpto the ocean.
'Happily for us, we were carried In
the direction of a vessel bound for Bue
nos Ayres. We came down by the side
of tho ship. A rope was thrown to us.
which we fastened to the bailoon. on
throwing out some ballast we ascended
to the length of the rope, about 200 feet
above the vessel, where we remained un
til darkness came on, when the captain
got the 5-ailors to pull the balloon down
by the side of the ship.
'I had just commenced to let out the
gas when the cook came with a lamp.
which set the gas on fire, causing a ter
rific explosion that blew me orr into tne
sea and burnt oft the officer s hair, whis
kers and mustache and ruined his uni
form. The balloon took fire and, being
well oiled, it burnt up rapidly. Next
the sails caught on fire and the wiioie
vessel would have burnt, but the captain
kept his presence of mind and gave or
ders to cut away the masts and let them
fall overboard "with the burning sails
and upper rigging, which had been well
oiled and varnished before going Into
port.
"I managed to keep afloat by my life
belt until the fire was extinguished on
the vessel, when tho captain sent a boat
and I was picked tip and taken aboard.
As the. fire had been seen from tne city
lighthouse, a steam tug was sent out to
the vessel and she was towed into port.
TVhen I went to tho looKing-giass m
take a view ofmyself. I round tnat i
looked like a singed monkey. I could
scarcely believe that I was the young
and enthusiastic aeronaut who, but a
few hour before, had received the hearty
cheers of the multitude assembled In the
Plaza de Torus at Montevideo. That
fearful accident and thrilling adventure
cured me thoroughly of any more desire
to go up In balloons and gave me such a
fright that I shall never forget It."
(Copyright. 1908, by the McClure News
paper Syndicate.)
Ventriloquist
you locate the hole in the floor and place
the hollow leg of the chair as near as
possible to It. Then with a slight move
you make the connections. As I re
marked before, this requires praotioe.
When you are seated with tlie mannikln
on your lap you can make the connection
with the chair leg under cover of ar
ranging the coat talis. All this time you
must be drawing the attention of the au
dience away from what you are doing by
a monologue which you have carefully
rehearsed When everything Is shipshape
you give a prearranged signal to your
partner behind the artlt!on end the fun
begins. Your success will depend entire
ly upon how faithfully you rehearse the
act together. By knowing just what the
mannlkin is going to say you can work
his lower Jaw in a natural manner. If I
were you, after the audience Is sufficient
ly mystified, I would show how it was
done, and bring Johnny from behind the
eurtain for his share ot the applause."
Tommy and Johnny are rehearsing
every minute they can spare from their
lessons. The woodshed Is closed to all
the other boys, and if hard work will do
the trick they will make the biggest hit
of the minstrels.
Hard Hit.
Chicago News.
I never fought dat I cud blosh
An' feel aa cheap as dirt.
Or find I'd got as soft as mush
Ercount ul any skirt.
I fought dat I wus tough. I wus
A while ago. but, chee!
rm diffrunt now. an' 1es becatis
She flashed dose lamps on m.
I never fought, m gettln' struck
By anyfing I'd meet;
But It was Just my measly lurk.
Her comin' down de street.
I got what wus a-conin den.
I rubbered, so did she.
An' I went all ter pieces whn
She Hashed dose lamps on mm.
I never fouKht dnt ills yere town
Had any glims like ioe
A sparklln'. dancln'. goMen-brown.
Dat eolr.r's por. J H'pe:
I pouMn'r put np no defense,
TwaR like a hrinkhHi see?
I hnven't felt like mittin' pens
Uhe oajhfrd dose lamps on ma