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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (Sept. 27, 1908)
THE SUNDAY OREGOXIAy, PORTLAND, SEPTE3IBER 27, 1908. n PROFESSOR SttORTY MCGABE F?EbATES AN INCIDENT INVOb VINC5 CMETTY AND THE POET i ? II" IT hadn't been for glvin' Chester a how to make a gallery play you wouldn't have caught me takln' a bite out of She quince the way I did the other nteht. But say, when a young sport has pent the beat part of a year learnin' wings and ducks and footwork, and , when fancy boxin's about all the tunt ' he's got on his program. It's no more'n light he should give an exhibition, spe cially IX that's what he aches to do. And Chester did have that kind of a Iongin'. Who are you plannln' to have In the audience. Chetty?" says I. -Why." says he. "there'll be three or four of the fellows up. and maybe some of the crowd that mother's Invited will drop In too." "Miss Angelica likely to be In the bunch V says I. Chester pinks up at that and tries to make out he hadn't thought anything about Angelica's beln" there at all. But I'd heard a lot about this particular young lady, and when I sees the color on Ches ter his plan wa as clear as If the en tries was posted on a board. "All right. Chetty." says I; "have It i any way you say. I II be up early sat- j urday night. 80 that's what I was doln' in the smoker on the flve-nlne, with my gym. suit and gaslight clothes In a kit bag tip on the rack. Just as they shuts the sates and gives the word to pull out. In strolls 1 the last man aboard and piles In along- J side of me. I wouldn't have noticed him rpeclal if he hadn't squinted at the ticket : I'd stuck in the seat back, and asked If I was goln' to get off at that station. "I was thlnkln" some of It when I paid my fare." says I. "Ah'." says he kind of gentle and hllnkin his eyes. "That is my station too. Might I trouble you to remind me of the fact when we arrive?" "Sure." says I: "I'll wake you up." He gives me another blink, pulls a lit tle readin' book out of his pocket, slumps down into the seat and proceeds to act like he'd gone Into a trance. Say. I didn't need more'n one glimpse to size him up for a freak. The Angora ! haircut was tag enough reg'lar Elbert 1 Hubbard thatch he was wearin", all fluffy and wavy, and Just clearln his coat col lar. That and the artist's necktie, not to mention the eye glasses with the tortoise hell rims, put him In the self advertisln class without his sayln' a word. Outside of the frills, he wa'n't a bad lookin' chap, and sizable enough for a longshoreman, only you could tell by the lily white hands and the long fingernails that him and toll never got within' speakln' distance. "Wonder what particular brand of a mollycoddle he Is'P thinks I. Now there wa'n't any call for me to put him through the catechism. Just because he was headed for the same town I was; but somehow I had an Itch to tales a rise out of him. So I leans over and gets a : peek at the book. "Readin' po'try. eh?" says I. swallowln' a grin. "Beg pardon?" says he. kind of shakln , himself together. "Yes. this Is poetry i Swinburne, you know." and he slumps I down again as if he'd said all there was to say. Put when I starts out to be sociable you can't head me off that way. "Like : It?" says I. j "Why. yes." says he. "very much ln- deed. Don't you?" ! He thought he had me corked there, j but I comes right back at horn. "Nix!" I says I. "Swlnny's stuff always hit me (as beln' kind of punk." "Really!" says be, llftln" his eyebrows. I "Perhaps you have been unfortunate In I your selections. Now take this, from the I Anactoria " I And say. I srot what was comln" to me I then. He tears off two or three yards of it, all about moonlight and stars and ktssin' and lovln', and a lot of gush like BY JIM NASIUM. BLU" growled the Old Sport, as he laid down the morning paper. "I see a lot of these j mollycoddle sheets and the entire aggre gation of prehistoric mossback pedagogues ' are again coming out with their annual Fall knock against football. Just about ( the time the "maple turns to crimson and ! the sassafras to gold" the bats in the garret of a bunch of these long-faced j knowledge factory professors begin to ' flap their wings again, and the result Is I something fierce. This bug up at Harvard started the fuss, and now every Fall a lot of old moss-grown fossils, who have been left over from the dark ages. Imag ine that It's th proper caper to get their hammers out and dig up statistics about tha number of killed and Injured that ktm resulted from football." "Well." interjected the sporting editor i of the Star, "you can't deny that the list of football fatalities are sometmng ap palling, and that at least something ought to b dons to remove the danger." "Yes." replied the Old Sport, "and the i list of drownings during tha bathing season Is a blamed sight more appalling. I but you don't hear any of these bughouse I guys coming out with a proposition to ; prevent a guy from taking a bath, do j you? And during the hunting season a I bunch of mutts who don't know a bull moose from a narrow-gauge mule will lug an arsenel through tha underbrush and blow each other around over the land- scape till the Coroner has to gather them up with a blotting paper, but you don't hear anybody shooting out any hot air about stopping a guy from hunting. And If thee guys who are so fond of shoving figures Into your mug to prove their cause will dig into the musty records 1 of the past they'll blamed soon find that fiunttng and bathing fatalities make tha football list look like the official standing of a Brooklyn baseball team. "Sometimes I have a hunch that old Doc. Osier had the right dope when he ' said that a guy ought to be chloroformed ' after he had lived to be GO. because the times seem to be humping along so Mamed fast that a thundering lot of these . old codgers can't keep up with the paoe. ) It seem that a certain percentage of ' human beings who have been lucky : enough to stick In the race of life till they had plugged through the 5Ath lap ret it Into their knot that they have I been preserved by tha Almighty in order , 1 -V - i "REG'LAR SWAN'8 DOWN CUSHIONS," SAYS that. Honest. It would give you an ache under your vest. "There!" Bays he. "Isn't that beau tiful Imagery?" "Maybe." says I. "Guess I never hap pened to light on that part before." "But surely you are familiar with his Madonna Mia?" says he. "That got past me too." says I. "It's here." says he. speakln" up quick. "Wait. Ah. this is it!" and hanged if he don't give me another dose with more love In it than you could get In a bushel of valentines, and about as much sense as if he'd been readin" the dictionary backwards. He does It well, though. Just as tf It -all meant something, and me settln" there llstenln' until I felt like I'd been doDed. ""Say. I take It all back." says I when he lets up. "That Swlnny chap maybe ain't quite up to Wallace Irwin; but he's got Ella Wheeler pushed through the ropes. I've got to see a friend in the baggage car, though, and If you'll let me climb out past I'll speak to the brake man about puttln' you off where you belong." "You're very kind," says he. "Regret you can't stay longer." Was that a Josh, or what? Anyway, I figures I'm gettin' off easy, for there was a lot more of that blamed book he might have pumped into me If I hadn't ducked. "Never again!"' says I to myself. "Next time I gets curious I'll keep my mouth shut." I wa'n't takln' any chances of his holdin' me up on the station platform when we got off. either. I was the first man, to swln from the steps, and I makes a bee Una for the road leadln' out towards Chester's place, not stoppin' for a hack. Pretty soon who should come drlvln' after me but Curlylocks. He atlll has his book open, though, so he gets by without spottln' me, and I draws a long breath. By the time I'd hoofed over the two miles between the station and where Chester Uvea I'd done a lot of breathin"; but It was quite some of a place to get to; one of these new model houses that wears the plasterln on the outside and IN to perpetuate the wisdom of the past ages, and they keep shoving their ancient and back-number dope onto the rising generation, and posterity has to plug along with these old fossils hanging like a millstone around Its neck. "Times have pulled off a thundering lot of kaleidoscopic changes since these guys used to go out and club their breakfast' off the trees. In those days In the mel low past, of which these old stiffs love to speak, the mollycoddle germ hadn't succeeded In getting much of a toe-hold in this community, because along about the time a guy began to show symptoms of the malady they'd find him some morning lying out In the turnip patch with about 10 inches of an arrow shaft extending from his short ribs out into the gray dawn, and some native son of th forest would bs sneaking off through the underbrush with a patch of the curly locks that had been the pride of his mother's heart dangling at his belt. "Life in those days was more a matter of the survival of the fittest, and the guy wtth the mollycoddle germ In his system, lasted Just about as long as a fruit sundae would at the gates of hades. But tha laws of an effete civilization have now thrown its protecting arm around that guy, so that we can't kill him, and the only thing left for us to do la to kick the germ out of a kid's system before It get a toe-hold. And take It from ma, football is the medium that will do it. "Our dally Uvea and occupations ara becoming more sedentary each year, and a sedentary life Is a breeder of molly coddle. Our ancestors got their antidote for the mollycoddle germ In the rough life that they were compelled to lead, but we have to get ours In rough sports, and tha rougher the better tha result. Take my tip. if you cut out all rough sports and all element of danger from our dally Uvea you'll see this little old U. 8. strike a slump that will blamed soon have ua pushing Spain for tha cel lar championship. T&ke it from me. football and base ball are two things that will make more or the success of this little old country of Uncle Sam's than a thundering lot of tha prehistoric gab and fossil dope handed out In the knowledge factories by these long-faced stiffs who object to the roughness of the games. And the very roughness that these old crabs knock la In truth the strongest recommendation for the games. There never was a stralghter tip handed out than the dope that ''XainujlihreedjcoUDaxt," And 1 7v i has a roof made of fancy drain pipe. It's balanced right on the edge of the rocks with the whole of Long Island sound for a back yard and more'n a dozen acres of private park between it and the road. "Gee!" says I to Chester. "I should think this would be as lonesome as livln' In a lighthouse." "Not with the mob that mother usually has around.' says he. If the attendance that night was a sam ple. I guess he was right; for the bunch that answers the dinner gong would have done credit to a Summer hotel. Seems that Chester's old man has been a sour, unsociable old party In his day, keepln' the fam'ly shut up In a 30-foot front city house that was about as cheerful as a tomb, and havin" comp'ny to dinner reg'lar once a year. But when he finally quit breathin', and the lawyers had pried the checkbook out of his grip, mother had sailed In to make up for lost time. It wasn't bridge and pink teas. She'd always had a hankerln' for minglln" with the high brows, and it was them she went gunnin' for. anything from a college president down to lady novelists. Anybody that could palnfc a prize picture, or break Into print In the thirty-flve-ent magaaines, or get his name up as havin' put the scoop net over a new germ, could "win a week of first class board from her by Just sendin' In his card. But It was tough on Chester, havin' that kind of a gang around all the time, clut terln' up the front hall with their exten sion grips and droppln' polysyllables In the soup. Chetty's brow was a low out. Maybe' he had a full set of brains: but he hadn't ever- had to work 'era overtime, and ha didn't seem anxious to try. About all the heavy thlnkln' be did was when he was orderin' lunch at the club. But h was a big, full-blooded, good-natured young feller, and with the exercise he got around to the studio he kept In pretty good trim. How he ever come to get stuck on a girl like Angelica, though, was more'n I could account for. She's one of these slim, big eyed, breathless, gushy sort of females; the kind that tends out on picture shows, and piano recitals, and Hindu lectures. WHICH HE TALKS ON yon can take M from ma that tha kid who has butted Into danger in any form sufficiently to become familiar with it. or baa stacked up againot eouea treatment Chester seems to have a bad case of It, though. "Is she on hand tonight, Chetty?" says I. He owns up that she was. "And say. Shorty." says he, "I want you to meet her. Come on now. I've told her a lot about you." "That bein' the case," says I. "here's where Angelica gets a treat," and we starts out to hunt for her. Chester's plan bein' to make me the excuse for the box in' exhibit. But Angelica didn't seem to be so easy to locate. First we strikes the music room, where a heavyweight gent lately come over from Warsaw is tearln' a thun derstorm out of the southwest corner of the piano. The room was full of folks; hut nary sign of the girl with the eyes. Nor she wa'n't in the libr'y. where a four eyed duck with a crop of rusty chin spin ach was gassin' away about the sun spots or something. Say. there was most any kind of brain stimulation you could name beln' handed out In dlff'rent parts of that house; but Angelica wa'n't to any of 'em it was Just by accident, as we was takln' a turn around one of the verandas faoln' the water, that we runs across a couple 'camped down in a corner seat un der a big palm. The girl In pink radium silk was Angelica. And say, by moonlight she's a bunch of honeysuckle! The other party was our old friend Curlylocks, and I has to grin at the easy way he has of plckln' out the best looker In sight and leadln' her off where she wouldn't have to listen to anybody but him. He has the po'try tap turned on full blast, and the girl is llstenln' as pleased as if she had never heard anything better in her life. "Confound him !'" says Chester under his breath. "He's here again. Is he?" "Looks like this part of the house was gettin' crowded. Chetty," says I. "Let's back out." "Hanged if I do!" says he. and proceeds to do the butt In act about as gentle as a truck horse boltin' through a show win dow. "Oh, you're here, Angelica!" he growls out. "I've been hunting all over the shop for you." "S-s-sh!" says Angelica, holding up one finger and wavln' him off with the other hand. "Yes, I see." says Chester; "but " "Oh, please run away and don"t both er!" says she. "That's a good boy, now, Chester." "Oh, darn!" says Chester. That was the best he could do too, for they don't even watt to see us start. An gelica gives us a fine view of her back hair, and Mr. Curlylocks begins where he left off, and spiels away. ' It was a good deal the same kind of rot he had shoved at me on the train all about hearts and lovln' and so on only here he throws in business with the eyelashes, and seem to have pulled out the soft vocal stops. Chester stands by for a minute, tryln' to look holes through 'em, and then he lets me lead him off. "Now what do you think of that?" says he. makin' a face like he'd tasted some thing that had been too long In the can. "Why," says I, "it's touchln'. If true. Who's the home destroyer with the vase line voice and the fuzzy nut?" "He calls himself Sylvan Vlckers," says Chester. "He's a poet a sappy, slushy, milk and water poet. Writes stuff about birds and flowers and love, and goes around spouting it to women." "Why," ays I, "he peeled off a few strips for me, comln' up on the cars, and I thought it was hot stuff." "Honest, Shorty," says Chester, swal lowln' tha string as fast as I could un wind the ball, "you you don't like that kind of guff, do you?" "Oh. well," says I. "I don't wake up In the night and cry for It, and maybe I can worry along for the next century or so without hearln" any" more: but he's sura found pome one that does like it. eh ?" There's no sayln' but what Chester held himself In well; for If ver a man was en titled to a grouch. It was him. But he says mighty little. Just walks off scowlln" and settln' his teeth hard. I knew what was good for that: so I hints that he round up his chappies and go down into the gym to work It off. THE ANNUAL FALL KNOCKS AGAINST FOOTBALL . and opposition that requires determina-1 tion and courage to overcome Isn't the ruy whose nerves are going to Jump the f governor belt when ba ouua Into them I iiiSiiiilli -3 r M - tm HE HAS THE PO'TRY TAP Chetty's enthusiasm for mitt Jugglln" has all petered out, though, and it's some time before I can make him see it my way. Then we has to find his crowd, that was scattered around in the differ ent rooms, lonesome and tired; so It's late in the evenln' before we got under way. Chester and me. have had a round or so, and he'd Just wore out one of his friends and was tryln' to tease somebody else to put 'em on, when I spots a rubber neck In the back of the hall. "O-o-h. see who's here. Chetty!" says I. whlsperln' over his shoulder. It was our poet friend, that has had to give up Angelica to her maw. He's been Btrayln' around loose, and has wandered in through the gym. doors by luck. Now, Chester may not have any mighty Intel lect; but there's times when he. can think as quick as the next one. He takes one glance at Curlylocks. and stiffens up like a bird dog polntln' a partridge. "Say." says he, all excited, "do you suppose could we get him to put them on?" "Not if ' you showed you was so anxious as all that," says I. "Then you ask him. Shorty," he whis pers. "I'll give a hundred for Just one round two hundred." "S-s-sh!" says I. "Take It easy." Ever see an old lady tryln' to shoo a rooster into a fence corner, while the old man waited around the end of the wood shed with the ax? You know how gentle and easy the trick has to be worked? Well, that was me explalnin' to Curly locks how we was havin' a little exercise with the kid pillows oh. Just a little harmless tappln' back and forth, so's we could sleep well afterwards and didn't he feel like tryln' It for a minute with Ches ter? Smooth! Some of that talk of mine would have greased an axle. Sylvle, old boy, he blinks at me through his glasses, like a poll parrot sizln' up a firecracker that little Jimmy wants to hand him. He don't say anything, but he seems some Interested. He reaches out for one of the mitts and pokes a finger into the paddin', lookin it over as if it was some kind of a curiosity. "Reg-lar swan's down cushions," says I. "Like to have you try a round or so. i a At: ..-J sr. .: M'im In after . . Now, if these old Pterodacty. who 1 nslst on knocklrw out football in out knowledge factories would only Jet It 3 v" r; 4 1 rv 41V v. TURNED ON FULL B1.AST, Vlckers," puts in Chester as careless as he could. "Professor McCabe will show you how to put them on." "Ah, really," 6ays Curlylocks. Then he has to step up and inspect Chester's frame up. "That's the finish!" thinks I; for Chet ty"a a well-built boy, good and bunchy around the shoulders, and when he peels down to a sleeveless Jersey he looks most as wicked as Sharkey. But, Just as we're expectin' Curlylocks to show how wise he was, he throws out a bluff that leaves us gaspln' for breath. "Do you know, says he, "If I was in the mood for that sort of thing, I'd be charmed; but er " "Oh, fudge!" says Chetty. "I expect you'd rather recite us some poetry?" And at that one of Chester's chums snickers right out. Sylvle flushes up like some one had slapped him on the wrist. "Beg pardon," says he; "but I believe I will try It for a little while," and he holds out his paws for me to slip on the gloves. "Better shed the parlor clothes," says I. "You're liable to get 'em dusty," which last tickles the audience a lot. He didn't want to peel off even his Tux edo; but I Jollies him into lettin' go of It, and partln' with his collar and white tie and eyeglasses too. That was as far as he'd go, though. Course, it was kind of a low down game to put up on anybody; but Curlylocks wa'n't outclassed any In height, nor much in weight; and, seeln' as how he'd kind of laid himself open to something of the sort, I didn't feel as bad as I might. AH the time Chester was tryin' to keep the grin off his face, and his chums was most wearin' their elbows out nudgln' each other. "Now," says I, when I've got Curlylocks ready for the slaughter, "what'Il It be two-minute rounds?" "Quite satisfactory," says flylvie; and Chetty nods. "Then let 'er go!" says I, steppln' back. One thing I've always coached Chester on was openln' lively. It don't make any difference whether the mitts are hard or soft, whether it's a go to a finish or a private bout for fun, there's no sense In wastln' the first 0 seconds in stlrrin' up f filter into their think tanks that college Is a training place for (kids and 'that gameness and determination are a blamed sight more value In their training than a thundering lot of these prehistoric brands of gab that they shove Into the kids' garret, they'd out out this anvil chorus about football. Take it from me gameness and the determination to keep plugging have a blamed sight more to do with a guy's success than sheer ability. And a lad can get these qualities licked into his system on the football field a blamed sight quicker than he can absorb them wading through Julius Caesar or gliding through the Merry Widow Waits at the weekly hop. "If some of these knowledge factories hug the dope that they can turn out a bunoh of future successes by playing in tercollegiate bean bags with Vassar and checkers with the Old Soldiers' Home, they'll wake up about the time some Yale football stars go out to stab the world In the face and put it all over their mollycoddle alumnae. "There's nothing to It; when it comes right down to cases. It takes the same qualities to succeed In bucking the line In the business world as it does to batter down the opposition on the football field. And you can take it from me that the kid who gets slammed back for a. loss on the gridiron, and after sticking an eye In place and shoving an amputated ear Into his pocket and twisting a dislocated hip around to where it will work in the right direction, breaks through on tha next attempt and wades across the goal line spitting out chunks of hair and epi dermis and bits of canvas Jacket, isn't going to grow up into the guy who will sit down and say "what's the use' when he butts into a slump In the business world. "Not on your life. And the kid with the trapped nerve, who steps back of the line and coolly picks the aud off his toe and drives the pigskin through the bars from the 40-yard line for the winning points In the last minute of play Isn't going to grow up to be the guy whose nerves always Jump the governor-belt when he stacks up against a stiff propo sition, either. These kids can carry my money in the race for life, and I don't give a continental cuss how much knowl edge factory dope the other guys have shoveled Into their garret. "The trouble with a thundering lot of these guys who knock football is that they keep hammering away about the poor guys who have had a few slats cracked or a pin shattered and don't the air. The thlr.g to do is to bore in. And Chester didn't need any urgln'. He cuts loose with both bunches, landln" a risht on the ribs and pokin' the left Into the middle of Sylvies map; so sudden that Mr. Poet heaves up a grunt way from his socks. "Ah, string It out. Chetly," says I. "String It out. so's it'll last longer." But he's like a hungry kid with a hoky poky sandwich he wants to take it all at one bite. And maybe If I'd been as much gone on Angelica as he was, and had been put on a elding for this moonlight po'try business, I'd been Just as anxious. So he wades in again with as fine a set of half arm Jolts as he has in stock. By this time Sylvle has got his guard up proper, and is coverln' himself almost as good as If he knew how. It was a little awkward; but somehow Chetty couldn't Beem to get through. , , "Give him the cross hook!" sings oot one of the boys. Chester tried, but it didn't work. Then I he springs Bnother rush, and they gOf I around like a couple of pinwheels, with i nothin' gettin punished but the gloves. "Time!" saya I, and leads Sylvle over to. a chair. He was puffin' some, but outside of that he was good as new. "Good blockln', old man." says I. "You're doln" fine. Keep that up and you'll be all right." 'Think so?" says he, reachln' for the towel. The second spasm starts off different. t Curlylocks seems to be more awake than ; he was. and the first thing we knows he a flddlin' for an openln" in the good old fashioned way. "And there's where you lose out, son," thinks I. I hadn't got through thlnkln' before things began happenin'. Sylvle seems to unllmber from the waist up, and his arms acted like he'd let out an extra link in 'em. Funny I hadn't, noticed that reach of his before. For a second or so he only steps around Chester, shootln" out first one glove and then the other, and plantln" little love pats on different parts of him, as If he was locatin' the right spots. Chetty don't like havin' his bumps felt of that way. and comes back with a left swing followed by an uppercut. They was both a little wild, and they didn't connect. That wa'n't the worst of It, though. Before he's through with that' foolishness Sylvle turns them long arms of his into a rapid-fire-battery, and his mitts begin to touch up them spots he's picked out at fhe rate of about a hundred bull's eyes to the minute. It was bing blngbing biff! with Chetty's arms swlngin' wide, and his block rockin', and his breath comln' short, and his knees gettin' as wabbly as a new boy 6peakln', a piece. Before I can call the round Cur lylocks has put the steam into a Jaw punch that sends Chester to the mat as hard as though he'd been dropped out of a window. "Is is it all over?" says Chetty when he comes to a couple of minutes later. "If you leave It to me." says I, "I should say it was; unless Mr. What's-hls-name here wants to try that same bunch of tricks on me. How about It?" "Much obliged, professor," -says Curly- locks, glvln' a last hitch to his whits tie; "but I've seen you In the ring." "Well," says I, "I've heard you reclta po'try; so we're even. But say, you make a whole lot better showln' In my line than ' I would In yours, and If you ever need a backer in either Just call on me." We shakes hands on that; and then, Chetty comes to the front, man fashion, with his flipper out, too. That starts the reunion, and when I leaves 'em, about 1 A. M., the Scotch and ginger ale tide was runnin' out fast. How about Angelica? Ah, say, next mornln' there shows up a younger, fresh er, gushler one. and Inside of half an hour her and Curlylocks is close together on a bench, and he's got the little book out again. Angelica pines in the background for about three minutes before Chester comes around with the tourin' car, and the last I see of 'em they was snuggled up together In the back of the tonneau. So I guess Chetty don't need much sym pathizln' with, even if he was passed a couple of lime drops. know enough about the game to appre ciate the mental good that it does. And while a physical injury may be a mis fortune, when it comes right down to cases it is a Joy forever compared with a mental deficiency. I know I'd a blamed . sight rather have my kid plugging along the path of life on a twisted foundation . and with his lath caved In than to see him trying to pull through with a va cancy in his garret. "Yes, sir, take It from me, when a kid hustles out of the knowledge factory to stab the world in the face he's got to hive a blamed sight more than mere classroom dope In his knot If he wants to cut any Ice In the world. A thundering lot of these kids who cop all the honors, and scholarship prizes In their knowledge, factory days get It put all over them when they stack up against the real thing 1 In the business world by some kid who ' hasn't got so many forgotten languages In his knot, and isn't caring a continental cuss whether the moon is inhabited or not, but has a blamed sight more good, healthy red blood running through his veins, and has some originality of thought and the perseverance to keep plugging. "And you can take my tip that a kid will get these qualities a blamed sight quicker from his football coach than any of these pterodactyl pedagogues can drive into his knot with a schooloook. And let me tell you that the rl-ring gen eration Is beginning to appreciate this fact, too. You won't find one guy In a hundred who can tell you who Is presi dent or doctor of laws or professor of languages at the University of Micnlgan. but I'll gamble that every kid can tell you that 'Hurry-Up' Tost Is the football coach. That's what makes a lot of these old professors in the knowledge factories sore against this particular branch of modern education, and that's why they knock it. "But, take It from me, old man, they're not going to succeed In hurting the game much. They can talk broken necks and fractured skulls till they're blue in the face but this little old U. S. is beginning to get wise to the fact that a soft and easr life makes a namby-pamby man. and as long as nature has made it necessary for a kid to butt Into these things to fit him properly for his life's work we'll keep right on with the carnage." Churches of the Christian denomination throughout the country are making un usual efforts to liquidate all their lnobtrt nen before next yesr, which will it the otatanxual of the church.
