THE SUNDAY OREGOXIAy, PORTLAND, SEPTE3IBER 27, 1908.
n
PROFESSOR SttORTY MCGABE
F?EbATES AN INCIDENT INVOb
VINC5 CMETTY AND THE POET
i
?
II" IT hadn't been for glvin' Chester a
how to make a gallery play you
wouldn't have caught me takln' a bite
out of She quince the way I did the other
nteht. But say, when a young sport has
pent the beat part of a year learnin'
wings and ducks and footwork, and
, when fancy boxin's about all the tunt
' he's got on his program. It's no more'n
light he should give an exhibition, spe
cially IX that's what he aches to do. And
Chester did have that kind of a Iongin'.
Who are you plannln' to have In the
audience. Chetty?" says I.
-Why." says he. "there'll be three or
four of the fellows up. and maybe some
of the crowd that mother's Invited will
drop In too."
"Miss Angelica likely to be In the
bunch V says I.
Chester pinks up at that and tries to
make out he hadn't thought anything
about Angelica's beln" there at all. But I'd
heard a lot about this particular young
lady, and when I sees the color on Ches
ter his plan wa as clear as If the en
tries was posted on a board.
"All right. Chetty." says I; "have It
i any way you say. I II be up early sat-
j urday night.
80 that's what I was doln' in the
smoker on the flve-nlne, with my gym.
suit and gaslight clothes In a kit bag tip
on the rack. Just as they shuts the sates
and gives the word to pull out. In strolls
1 the last man aboard and piles In along-
J side of me. I wouldn't have noticed him
rpeclal if he hadn't squinted at the ticket
: I'd stuck in the seat back, and asked If
I was goln' to get off at that station.
"I was thlnkln" some of It when I paid
my fare." says I.
"Ah'." says he kind of gentle and
hllnkin his eyes. "That is my station
too. Might I trouble you to remind me of
the fact when we arrive?"
"Sure." says I: "I'll wake you up."
He gives me another blink, pulls a lit
tle readin' book out of his pocket, slumps
down into the seat and proceeds to act
like he'd gone Into a trance.
Say. I didn't need more'n one glimpse
to size him up for a freak. The Angora
! haircut was tag enough reg'lar Elbert
1 Hubbard thatch he was wearin", all fluffy
and wavy, and Just clearln his coat col
lar. That and the artist's necktie, not to
mention the eye glasses with the tortoise
hell rims, put him In the self advertisln
class without his sayln' a word.
Outside of the frills, he wa'n't a bad
lookin' chap, and sizable enough for a
longshoreman, only you could tell by the
lily white hands and the long fingernails
that him and toll never got within'
speakln' distance.
"Wonder what particular brand of a
mollycoddle he Is'P thinks I.
Now there wa'n't any call for me to put
him through the catechism. Just because
he was headed for the same town I was;
but somehow I had an Itch to tales a rise
out of him. So I leans over and gets a
: peek at the book.
"Readin' po'try. eh?" says I. swallowln'
a grin.
"Beg pardon?" says he. kind of shakln
, himself together. "Yes. this Is poetry
i Swinburne, you know." and he slumps
I down again as if he'd said all there was
to say.
Put when I starts out to be sociable
you can't head me off that way. "Like
: It?" says I.
j "Why. yes." says he. "very much ln-
deed. Don't you?"
! He thought he had me corked there,
j but I comes right back at horn. "Nix!"
I says I. "Swlnny's stuff always hit me
(as beln' kind of punk."
"Really!" says be, llftln" his eyebrows.
I "Perhaps you have been unfortunate In
I your selections. Now take this, from the
I Anactoria "
I And say. I srot what was comln" to me
I then. He tears off two or three yards
of it, all about moonlight and stars and
ktssin' and lovln', and a lot of gush like
BY JIM NASIUM.
BLU" growled the Old Sport,
as he laid down the morning
paper. "I see a lot of these
j mollycoddle sheets and the entire aggre
gation of prehistoric mossback pedagogues
' are again coming out with their annual
Fall knock against football. Just about
( the time the "maple turns to crimson and
! the sassafras to gold" the bats in the
garret of a bunch of these long-faced
j knowledge factory professors begin to
' flap their wings again, and the result Is
I something fierce. This bug up at Harvard
started the fuss, and now every Fall a
lot of old moss-grown fossils, who have
been left over from the dark ages. Imag
ine that It's th proper caper to get their
hammers out and dig up statistics about
tha number of killed and Injured that
ktm resulted from football."
"Well." interjected the sporting editor
i of the Star, "you can't deny that the list
of football fatalities are sometmng ap
palling, and that at least something ought
to b dons to remove the danger."
"Yes." replied the Old Sport, "and the
i list of drownings during tha bathing
season Is a blamed sight more appalling.
I but you don't hear any of these bughouse
I guys coming out with a proposition to
; prevent a guy from taking a bath, do
j you? And during the hunting season a
I bunch of mutts who don't know a bull
moose from a narrow-gauge mule will lug
an arsenel through tha underbrush and
blow each other around over the land-
scape till the Coroner has to gather them
up with a blotting paper, but you don't
hear anybody shooting out any hot air
about stopping a guy from hunting. And
If thee guys who are so fond of shoving
figures Into your mug to prove their
cause will dig into the musty records
1 of the past they'll blamed soon find that
fiunttng and bathing fatalities make tha
football list look like the official standing
of a Brooklyn baseball team.
"Sometimes I have a hunch that old
Doc. Osier had the right dope when he
' said that a guy ought to be chloroformed
' after he had lived to be GO. because
the times seem to be humping along so
Mamed fast that a thundering lot of these
. old codgers can't keep up with the paoe.
) It seem that a certain percentage of
' human beings who have been lucky
: enough to stick In the race of life till
they had plugged through the 5Ath lap
ret it Into their knot that they have
I been preserved by tha Almighty in order
, 1 -V - i
"REG'LAR SWAN'8 DOWN CUSHIONS," SAYS
that. Honest. It would give you an ache
under your vest.
"There!" Bays he. "Isn't that beau
tiful Imagery?"
"Maybe." says I. "Guess I never hap
pened to light on that part before."
"But surely you are familiar with his
Madonna Mia?" says he.
"That got past me too." says I.
"It's here." says he. speakln" up quick.
"Wait. Ah. this is it!" and hanged if he
don't give me another dose with more
love In it than you could get In a bushel
of valentines, and about as much sense
as if he'd been readin" the dictionary
backwards. He does It well, though. Just
as tf It -all meant something, and me
settln" there llstenln' until I felt like I'd
been doDed.
""Say. I take It all back." says I when
he lets up. "That Swlnny chap maybe
ain't quite up to Wallace Irwin; but he's
got Ella Wheeler pushed through the
ropes. I've got to see a friend in the
baggage car, though, and If you'll let me
climb out past I'll speak to the brake
man about puttln' you off where you
belong."
"You're very kind," says he. "Regret
you can't stay longer."
Was that a Josh, or what? Anyway, I
figures I'm gettin' off easy, for there was
a lot more of that blamed book he might
have pumped into me If I hadn't ducked.
"Never again!"' says I to myself. "Next
time I gets curious I'll keep my mouth
shut."
I wa'n't takln' any chances of his
holdin' me up on the station platform
when we got off. either. I was the first
man, to swln from the steps, and I
makes a bee Una for the road leadln' out
towards Chester's place, not stoppin' for
a hack. Pretty soon who should come
drlvln' after me but Curlylocks. He atlll
has his book open, though, so he gets by
without spottln' me, and I draws a long
breath.
By the time I'd hoofed over the two
miles between the station and where
Chester Uvea I'd done a lot of breathin";
but It was quite some of a place to get
to; one of these new model houses that
wears the plasterln on the outside and
IN
to perpetuate the wisdom of the past
ages, and they keep shoving their ancient
and back-number dope onto the rising
generation, and posterity has to plug
along with these old fossils hanging like
a millstone around Its neck.
"Times have pulled off a thundering lot
of kaleidoscopic changes since these guys
used to go out and club their breakfast'
off the trees. In those days In the mel
low past, of which these old stiffs love
to speak, the mollycoddle germ hadn't
succeeded In getting much of a toe-hold
in this community, because along about
the time a guy began to show symptoms
of the malady they'd find him some
morning lying out In the turnip patch
with about 10 inches of an arrow shaft
extending from his short ribs out into
the gray dawn, and some native son of
th forest would bs sneaking off through
the underbrush with a patch of the curly
locks that had been the pride of his
mother's heart dangling at his belt.
"Life in those days was more a matter
of the survival of the fittest, and the guy
wtth the mollycoddle germ In his system,
lasted Just about as long as a fruit sundae
would at the gates of hades. But tha
laws of an effete civilization have now
thrown its protecting arm around that
guy, so that we can't kill him, and the
only thing left for us to do la to kick
the germ out of a kid's system before It
get a toe-hold. And take It from ma,
football is the medium that will do it.
"Our dally Uvea and occupations ara
becoming more sedentary each year, and
a sedentary life Is a breeder of molly
coddle. Our ancestors got their antidote
for the mollycoddle germ In the rough
life that they were compelled to lead,
but we have to get ours In rough sports,
and tha rougher the better tha result.
Take my tip. if you cut out all rough
sports and all element of danger from
our dally Uvea you'll see this little old
U. 8. strike a slump that will blamed
soon have ua pushing Spain for tha cel
lar championship.
T&ke it from me. football and base
ball are two things that will make more
or the success of this little old country
of Uncle Sam's than a thundering lot
of tha prehistoric gab and fossil dope
handed out In the knowledge factories
by these long-faced stiffs who object to
the roughness of the games. And the
very roughness that these old crabs knock
la In truth the strongest recommendation
for the games. There never was a
stralghter tip handed out than the dope
that ''XainujlihreedjcoUDaxt," And
1 7v i
has a roof made of fancy drain pipe. It's
balanced right on the edge of the rocks
with the whole of Long Island sound for
a back yard and more'n a dozen acres of
private park between it and the road.
"Gee!" says I to Chester. "I should
think this would be as lonesome as livln'
In a lighthouse."
"Not with the mob that mother usually
has around.' says he.
If the attendance that night was a sam
ple. I guess he was right; for the bunch
that answers the dinner gong would have
done credit to a Summer hotel. Seems
that Chester's old man has been a sour,
unsociable old party In his day, keepln'
the fam'ly shut up In a 30-foot front city
house that was about as cheerful as a
tomb, and havin" comp'ny to dinner
reg'lar once a year.
But when he finally quit breathin', and
the lawyers had pried the checkbook out
of his grip, mother had sailed In to make
up for lost time. It wasn't bridge and
pink teas. She'd always had a hankerln'
for minglln" with the high brows, and it
was them she went gunnin' for. anything
from a college president down to lady
novelists. Anybody that could palnfc a
prize picture, or break Into print In the
thirty-flve-ent magaaines, or get his
name up as havin' put the scoop net over
a new germ, could "win a week of first
class board from her by Just sendin' In
his card.
But It was tough on Chester, havin' that
kind of a gang around all the time, clut
terln' up the front hall with their exten
sion grips and droppln' polysyllables In
the soup. Chetty's brow was a low out.
Maybe' he had a full set of brains: but he
hadn't ever- had to work 'era overtime,
and ha didn't seem anxious to try. About
all the heavy thlnkln' be did was when he
was orderin' lunch at the club. But h
was a big, full-blooded, good-natured
young feller, and with the exercise he got
around to the studio he kept In pretty
good trim.
How he ever come to get stuck on a girl
like Angelica, though, was more'n I could
account for. She's one of these slim, big
eyed, breathless, gushy sort of females;
the kind that tends out on picture shows,
and piano recitals, and Hindu lectures.
WHICH HE TALKS ON
yon can take M from ma that tha kid
who has butted Into danger in any form
sufficiently to become familiar with it. or
baa stacked up againot eouea treatment
Chester seems to have a bad case of It,
though.
"Is she on hand tonight, Chetty?"
says I.
He owns up that she was. "And say.
Shorty." says he, "I want you to meet
her. Come on now. I've told her a lot
about you."
"That bein' the case," says I. "here's
where Angelica gets a treat," and we
starts out to hunt for her. Chester's plan
bein' to make me the excuse for the box
in' exhibit.
But Angelica didn't seem to be so easy
to locate. First we strikes the music
room, where a heavyweight gent lately
come over from Warsaw is tearln' a thun
derstorm out of the southwest corner of
the piano. The room was full of folks;
hut nary sign of the girl with the eyes.
Nor she wa'n't in the libr'y. where a four
eyed duck with a crop of rusty chin spin
ach was gassin' away about the sun spots
or something. Say. there was most any
kind of brain stimulation you could name
beln' handed out In dlff'rent parts of that
house; but Angelica wa'n't to any of 'em
it was Just by accident, as we was
takln' a turn around one of the verandas
faoln' the water, that we runs across a
couple 'camped down in a corner seat un
der a big palm. The girl In pink radium
silk was Angelica. And say, by moonlight
she's a bunch of honeysuckle! The other
party was our old friend Curlylocks, and
I has to grin at the easy way he has of
plckln' out the best looker In sight and
leadln' her off where she wouldn't have
to listen to anybody but him. He has the
po'try tap turned on full blast, and the
girl is llstenln' as pleased as if she had
never heard anything better in her life.
"Confound him !'" says Chester under his
breath. "He's here again. Is he?"
"Looks like this part of the house was
gettin' crowded. Chetty," says I. "Let's
back out."
"Hanged if I do!" says he. and proceeds
to do the butt In act about as gentle as a
truck horse boltin' through a show win
dow. "Oh, you're here, Angelica!" he
growls out. "I've been hunting all over
the shop for you."
"S-s-sh!" says Angelica, holding up one
finger and wavln' him off with the other
hand.
"Yes, I see." says Chester; "but "
"Oh, please run away and don"t both
er!" says she. "That's a good boy, now,
Chester."
"Oh, darn!" says Chester.
That was the best he could do too, for
they don't even watt to see us start. An
gelica gives us a fine view of her back
hair, and Mr. Curlylocks begins where he
left off, and spiels away. ' It was a good
deal the same kind of rot he had shoved
at me on the train all about hearts and
lovln' and so on only here he throws in
business with the eyelashes, and seem to
have pulled out the soft vocal stops.
Chester stands by for a minute, tryln' to
look holes through 'em, and then he lets
me lead him off.
"Now what do you think of that?" says
he. makin' a face like he'd tasted some
thing that had been too long In the can.
"Why," says I, "it's touchln'. If true.
Who's the home destroyer with the vase
line voice and the fuzzy nut?"
"He calls himself Sylvan Vlckers," says
Chester. "He's a poet a sappy, slushy,
milk and water poet. Writes stuff about
birds and flowers and love, and goes
around spouting it to women."
"Why," ays I, "he peeled off a few
strips for me, comln' up on the cars, and
I thought it was hot stuff."
"Honest, Shorty," says Chester, swal
lowln' tha string as fast as I could un
wind the ball, "you you don't like that
kind of guff, do you?"
"Oh. well," says I. "I don't wake up In
the night and cry for It, and maybe I can
worry along for the next century or so
without hearln" any" more: but he's sura
found pome one that does like it. eh ?"
There's no sayln' but what Chester held
himself In well; for If ver a man was en
titled to a grouch. It was him. But he
says mighty little. Just walks off scowlln"
and settln' his teeth hard. I knew what
was good for that: so I hints that he
round up his chappies and go down into
the gym to work It off.
THE ANNUAL FALL KNOCKS AGAINST FOOTBALL
. and opposition that requires determina-1
tion and courage to overcome Isn't the
ruy whose nerves are going to Jump the
f governor belt when ba ouua Into them
I
iiiSiiiilli
-3
r
M -
tm
HE HAS THE PO'TRY TAP
Chetty's enthusiasm for mitt Jugglln"
has all petered out, though, and it's some
time before I can make him see it my
way. Then we has to find his crowd,
that was scattered around in the differ
ent rooms, lonesome and tired; so It's late
in the evenln' before we got under way.
Chester and me. have had a round or so,
and he'd Just wore out one of his friends
and was tryln' to tease somebody else to
put 'em on, when I spots a rubber neck
In the back of the hall.
"O-o-h. see who's here. Chetty!" says I.
whlsperln' over his shoulder.
It was our poet friend, that has had to
give up Angelica to her maw. He's been
Btrayln' around loose, and has wandered
in through the gym. doors by luck. Now,
Chester may not have any mighty Intel
lect; but there's times when he. can think
as quick as the next one. He takes one
glance at Curlylocks. and stiffens up like
a bird dog polntln' a partridge.
"Say." says he, all excited, "do you
suppose could we get him to put them
on?"
"Not if ' you showed you was so anxious
as all that," says I.
"Then you ask him. Shorty," he whis
pers. "I'll give a hundred for Just one
round two hundred."
"S-s-sh!" says I. "Take It easy."
Ever see an old lady tryln' to shoo a
rooster into a fence corner, while the old
man waited around the end of the wood
shed with the ax? You know how gentle
and easy the trick has to be worked?
Well, that was me explalnin' to Curly
locks how we was havin' a little exercise
with the kid pillows oh. Just a little
harmless tappln' back and forth, so's we
could sleep well afterwards and didn't he
feel like tryln' It for a minute with Ches
ter? Smooth! Some of that talk of mine
would have greased an axle.
Sylvle, old boy, he blinks at me through
his glasses, like a poll parrot sizln' up a
firecracker that little Jimmy wants to
hand him. He don't say anything, but he
seems some Interested. He reaches out
for one of the mitts and pokes a finger
into the paddin', lookin it over as if it
was some kind of a curiosity.
"Reg-lar swan's down cushions," says I.
"Like to have you try a round or so.
i a At: ..-J sr. .: M'im
In after . .
Now, if these old Pterodacty. who
1 nslst on knocklrw out football in out
knowledge factories would only Jet It
3
v" r;
4
1 rv
41V
v.
TURNED ON FULL B1.AST,
Vlckers," puts in Chester as careless as
he could. "Professor McCabe will show
you how to put them on."
"Ah, really," 6ays Curlylocks. Then he
has to step up and inspect Chester's frame
up.
"That's the finish!" thinks I; for Chet
ty"a a well-built boy, good and bunchy
around the shoulders, and when he peels
down to a sleeveless Jersey he looks most
as wicked as Sharkey. But, Just as we're
expectin' Curlylocks to show how wise he
was, he throws out a bluff that leaves us
gaspln' for breath.
"Do you know, says he, "If I was in
the mood for that sort of thing, I'd be
charmed; but er "
"Oh, fudge!" says Chetty. "I expect
you'd rather recite us some poetry?" And
at that one of Chester's chums snickers
right out. Sylvle flushes up like some one
had slapped him on the wrist.
"Beg pardon," says he; "but I believe I
will try It for a little while," and he holds
out his paws for me to slip on the gloves.
"Better shed the parlor clothes," says I.
"You're liable to get 'em dusty," which
last tickles the audience a lot.
He didn't want to peel off even his Tux
edo; but I Jollies him into lettin' go of It,
and partln' with his collar and white tie
and eyeglasses too. That was as far as
he'd go, though.
Course, it was kind of a low down game
to put up on anybody; but Curlylocks
wa'n't outclassed any In height, nor much
in weight; and, seeln' as how he'd kind of
laid himself open to something of the
sort, I didn't feel as bad as I might. AH
the time Chester was tryin' to keep the
grin off his face, and his chums was most
wearin' their elbows out nudgln' each
other.
"Now," says I, when I've got Curlylocks
ready for the slaughter, "what'Il It be
two-minute rounds?"
"Quite satisfactory," says flylvie; and
Chetty nods.
"Then let 'er go!" says I, steppln' back.
One thing I've always coached Chester
on was openln' lively. It don't make any
difference whether the mitts are hard or
soft, whether it's a go to a finish or a
private bout for fun, there's no sense In
wastln' the first 0 seconds in stlrrin' up
f filter into their think tanks that college
Is a training place for (kids and 'that
gameness and determination are a blamed
sight more value In their training than
a thundering lot of these prehistoric
brands of gab that they shove Into the
kids' garret, they'd out out this anvil
chorus about football. Take it from me
gameness and the determination to keep
plugging have a blamed sight more to do
with a guy's success than sheer ability.
And a lad can get these qualities licked
into his system on the football field a
blamed sight quicker than he can absorb
them wading through Julius Caesar or
gliding through the Merry Widow Waits
at the weekly hop.
"If some of these knowledge factories
hug the dope that they can turn out a
bunoh of future successes by playing in
tercollegiate bean bags with Vassar and
checkers with the Old Soldiers' Home,
they'll wake up about the time some
Yale football stars go out to stab the
world In the face and put it all over their
mollycoddle alumnae.
"There's nothing to It; when it comes
right down to cases. It takes the same
qualities to succeed In bucking the line
In the business world as it does to batter
down the opposition on the football field.
And you can take it from me that the
kid who gets slammed back for a. loss on
the gridiron, and after sticking an eye
In place and shoving an amputated ear
Into his pocket and twisting a dislocated
hip around to where it will work in the
right direction, breaks through on tha
next attempt and wades across the goal
line spitting out chunks of hair and epi
dermis and bits of canvas Jacket, isn't
going to grow up into the guy who will
sit down and say "what's the use' when
he butts into a slump In the business
world.
"Not on your life. And the kid with
the trapped nerve, who steps back of the
line and coolly picks the aud off his toe
and drives the pigskin through the bars
from the 40-yard line for the winning
points In the last minute of play Isn't
going to grow up to be the guy whose
nerves always Jump the governor-belt
when he stacks up against a stiff propo
sition, either. These kids can carry my
money in the race for life, and I don't
give a continental cuss how much knowl
edge factory dope the other guys have
shoveled Into their garret.
"The trouble with a thundering lot of
these guys who knock football is that
they keep hammering away about the
poor guys who have had a few slats
cracked or a pin shattered and don't
the air. The thlr.g to do is to bore in.
And Chester didn't need any urgln'. He
cuts loose with both bunches, landln" a
risht on the ribs and pokin' the left Into
the middle of Sylvies map; so sudden
that Mr. Poet heaves up a grunt way
from his socks.
"Ah, string It out. Chetly," says I.
"String It out. so's it'll last longer."
But he's like a hungry kid with a hoky
poky sandwich he wants to take it all at
one bite. And maybe If I'd been as much
gone on Angelica as he was, and had been
put on a elding for this moonlight po'try
business, I'd been Just as anxious. So he
wades in again with as fine a set of half
arm Jolts as he has in stock.
By this time Sylvle has got his guard up
proper, and is coverln' himself almost as
good as If he knew how. It was a little
awkward; but somehow Chetty couldn't
Beem to get through. , ,
"Give him the cross hook!" sings oot
one of the boys.
Chester tried, but it didn't work. Then I
he springs Bnother rush, and they gOf I
around like a couple of pinwheels, with i
nothin' gettin punished but the gloves.
"Time!" saya I, and leads Sylvle over to.
a chair. He was puffin' some, but outside
of that he was good as new. "Good
blockln', old man." says I. "You're doln"
fine. Keep that up and you'll be all
right."
'Think so?" says he, reachln' for the
towel.
The second spasm starts off different. t
Curlylocks seems to be more awake than ;
he was. and the first thing we knows he a
flddlin' for an openln" in the good old
fashioned way.
"And there's where you lose out, son,"
thinks I.
I hadn't got through thlnkln' before
things began happenin'. Sylvle seems to
unllmber from the waist up, and his arms
acted like he'd let out an extra link in
'em. Funny I hadn't, noticed that reach
of his before. For a second or so he only
steps around Chester, shootln" out first
one glove and then the other, and plantln"
little love pats on different parts of him,
as If he was locatin' the right spots.
Chetty don't like havin' his bumps felt
of that way. and comes back with a left
swing followed by an uppercut. They
was both a little wild, and they didn't
connect. That wa'n't the worst of It,
though. Before he's through with that'
foolishness Sylvle turns them long arms
of his into a rapid-fire-battery, and his
mitts begin to touch up them spots he's
picked out at fhe rate of about a hundred
bull's eyes to the minute. It was bing
blngbing biff! with Chetty's arms
swlngin' wide, and his block rockin', and
his breath comln' short, and his knees
gettin' as wabbly as a new boy 6peakln',
a piece. Before I can call the round Cur
lylocks has put the steam into a Jaw
punch that sends Chester to the mat as
hard as though he'd been dropped out of
a window.
"Is is it all over?" says Chetty when
he comes to a couple of minutes later.
"If you leave It to me." says I, "I should
say it was; unless Mr. What's-hls-name
here wants to try that same bunch of
tricks on me. How about It?"
"Much obliged, professor," -says Curly-
locks, glvln' a last hitch to his whits tie;
"but I've seen you In the ring."
"Well," says I, "I've heard you reclta
po'try; so we're even. But say, you make
a whole lot better showln' In my line than '
I would In yours, and If you ever need a
backer in either Just call on me."
We shakes hands on that; and then,
Chetty comes to the front, man fashion,
with his flipper out, too. That starts the
reunion, and when I leaves 'em, about 1
A. M., the Scotch and ginger ale tide was
runnin' out fast.
How about Angelica? Ah, say, next
mornln' there shows up a younger, fresh
er, gushler one. and Inside of half an hour
her and Curlylocks is close together on a
bench, and he's got the little book out
again. Angelica pines in the background
for about three minutes before Chester
comes around with the tourin' car, and
the last I see of 'em they was snuggled
up together In the back of the tonneau.
So I guess Chetty don't need much sym
pathizln' with, even if he was passed a
couple of lime drops.
know enough about the game to appre
ciate the mental good that it does. And
while a physical injury may be a mis
fortune, when it comes right down to
cases it is a Joy forever compared with
a mental deficiency. I know I'd a blamed .
sight rather have my kid plugging along
the path of life on a twisted foundation .
and with his lath caved In than to see
him trying to pull through with a va
cancy in his garret.
"Yes, sir, take It from me, when a kid
hustles out of the knowledge factory to
stab the world in the face he's got to
hive a blamed sight more than mere
classroom dope In his knot If he wants
to cut any Ice In the world. A thundering
lot of these kids who cop all the honors,
and scholarship prizes In their knowledge,
factory days get It put all over them
when they stack up against the real thing 1
In the business world by some kid who '
hasn't got so many forgotten languages
In his knot, and isn't caring a continental
cuss whether the moon is inhabited or
not, but has a blamed sight more good,
healthy red blood running through his
veins, and has some originality of
thought and the perseverance to keep
plugging.
"And you can take my tip that a kid
will get these qualities a blamed sight
quicker from his football coach than any
of these pterodactyl pedagogues can
drive into his knot with a schooloook.
And let me tell you that the rl-ring gen
eration Is beginning to appreciate this
fact, too. You won't find one guy In a
hundred who can tell you who Is presi
dent or doctor of laws or professor of
languages at the University of Micnlgan.
but I'll gamble that every kid can tell
you that 'Hurry-Up' Tost Is the football
coach. That's what makes a lot of these
old professors in the knowledge factories
sore against this particular branch of
modern education, and that's why they
knock it.
"But, take It from me, old man, they're
not going to succeed In hurting the game
much. They can talk broken necks and
fractured skulls till they're blue in the
face but this little old U. S. is beginning
to get wise to the fact that a soft and
easr life makes a namby-pamby man. and
as long as nature has made it necessary
for a kid to butt Into these things to fit
him properly for his life's work we'll
keep right on with the carnage."
Churches of the Christian denomination
throughout the country are making un
usual efforts to liquidate all their lnobtrt
nen before next yesr, which will it the
otatanxual of the church.