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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (Sept. 13, 1908)
THE SUNDAY OREGOXIAX, PORTLAND. SEPTEMBER 13, 1908. ra lCJWTY WAS SOINC SOHC J m II LI as M lii " V SAT. I don't play myself for any hu man chHia tester, but I did think I had Swift y Joe Gallagher aJI framed up long ago. Not that I ever made any special study of Swlfty; but knowtn' him for aa Ionic as I have, and havin' him helpln' me In the studio, I got the notion that I was -wise to most of hla curve. I've got both hands In the air now, though. Goin' back over the last few monthe, too, I can see where I might have got a line on him before. But. oh no! Noth ln' could Jar me out of bellevln' he wouldn't ever run against the form sheet I'd made out. The glimmer I gets was when I finds Joe In the front office one day. planted before the big lookin'-glaas. havin' a catch-aa-catcn can with his hair. "Hully chee:" says he. dlppin' one of my military brushes In the wash basin. -That's fierce, ain't It, Shorty? " "If It's your nerve In helpln- your self to my bureau knickknacks," says I, "I agree with you. "Ah. can the croak!" says he. "I - ain't eat in' the bristles off. am IT" "Oh. I'm not fussln'." cays I; "but what you need to use on that thatch la a currycomb and a lawn rake. "Ah. say!" says he. "I don't see as It's so much worse than others I know of. It's all right when I can get It to lay down In the back. How's that. now?" "Great!" says I. "Couldn't be better if you'd used fish glue." Maybe you never noticed ho Swlfty's top-piece Is finished off? He has a mud-colored growth that's as soft as a shoe brush. It behaves well enough when lt'e dry: but after he's got it good and wet it breaks up Into ridges that overlap, same aa shingles on a roof. But then, you wouldn't be lookln' for any camel's hair finish on a nut like Swlfty's not with that face. Course, he ain't to blame for the undershot Jaw. nor the way his ears lop, nor the width of his smile. We don't all have gifts like that, thanks be! And it wa n t on purpose Swlfty had his nose bent in. That comes from not duckln quick enough when Gans swung with his right. So long as he kept in his class, though, and wa'n't called on to under study Kyrle Bellew, Swlfty met all the specifications. If I was wantln' a par lor ornament, I might shy some at Swlfty's style of beauty: but showin' bilious brokers how to handle the med icine ball Is a Job that don't call for an exchange of photographs. He may have an outline that looks like a map of a stone quarry, and perhaps his ways are a little on the fritz, but Swifty got good points that I couldn't find bunched again if I was to hunt through a crowd. So, when I finds him worryin over the set of his back hair, I gets Interested. "What's the coiffure for. anyway?" , says I. "Goin' to see the girl eh?" Course that was a Josh. You can't look at Swlfty and try to think of him doin' the Romeo art without grlnnin. "Ahr, chee!" says he. Now, rve sprung that same Jolly on him a good many times: but I never see him work up a color over It be fore. Still, the idea of him gettin' kit tenish was too much of a strain on the mind for me to follow up. - It was the same about hla breakin' Into song. He'd never done that, either, until one momin' I hears a noise com In' from the back room that sound like some one blowln on a bottle. I steps over to the door easy, and hanged it I didn't make out that It was Swlfty takin' a crack at some thing that might be, "Oh, How I Love My Lulu." "You must." says I. "If It makes you feel aa bad as all that. Does Lulu know It?" "Ahr. chee!" says he. Ever hear Swlfty shoot that over his shoulder without turnln' his head? Talk about your echools of expression! None of 'em could teach anyone to put aa much Into two word aa Swlfty does What Newspaper Faith Shattered. T don't believe In that doctor." "Why?" "He didn't tell me everything I wanted to eac was bad for me!" Too True. Harper's Weekly. "What Is synonym, dad?" "A synonym, my son. la a word that you can use when you don't know how to spell the one you thought of first.' O Temporal Howard Why did he marry her at all if he were going to get a divorce so speedily? Coward Because h didn't think It would be honorable to break their en gagement. An Karly Impression. Cleveland Plain Dealer. "MnirjEle, wash the ide windows this morning." "Why this morning, ma'am?" "I want the new neighbors to see our dcnlng-room Bet." Overburdened With Memory. Washington Star. "Tour son tella me that he i going to take leseona to cultivate his memory." "I hop not," answered Farmer Corn torse! ; "he can remember every fool tune that waa ever whistled." More. Boston Glob. First kid "My papa's got so much money he don't know how to spend It." Second kid "That's nothing. My papa's got so much money that even mamma can't spend It." Described. "Pop!" "Yes. my son." "What la a harpsichord?"' "A harpsichord, my boy, is an Instru ment which when beard makes a man feel sorry that he ever said anything unkind about a piano." And His long Salt, Too. Harper's Weekly. Tramp Lady, have you a pair of trousers which your husband has dis carded? Kind Lady Yes. Her they are. but they "''H not 14,1 'ong my husband discards from weakness. Artistic Kesentment. Washington. Evening Star. "Don't you enjoy the singing of the wild hlrdr' aJo5 the rural enthusiast. "Certainlv not." answered the prima donra. "Any on who enjoys the musical , into them. They're a whole vocabulary, the way he uses 'em. "Was you tryin' to sing." says I. "or Just givln' an Imitation of a steamboat siren on a foggy night?" But all I could get out of Swlfty waa another "Ahr. chee!" He waa too happy and satisfied to Join In any debate, and Inside of 10 minutes he's at it again; so I lets him epiel away. "Well." thinks I. "I'm glad my Joy don't have any such effect on me as that. I s'pose I can stand It If he can." It wa'n't more'n two nights after that I gets another shock. I was feelin" a little nervous, to begin with, for I'd billed myself to do a stunt I don't often tackle. It waa nothln' ' less than pilotln' a fluff delegation to some art studio doin's. Sounds like a Percy Job. don't it? But it was something put up to me In a way I couldn't dodge. Maybe yob remember me tellln' you a while back about Cornelia Ann Bel ter? She was the Mlnnekeegan girl that had a room on the top floor over the Physical Culture Studio, and was makin' a stab at the sculpture game the one that we got out to Rockywold as a ringer in the snow-carvin' contest. Got her placed now? Well, you know how that little trick of makin' a snow angel brought her In orders from Mr. Purdy Pell, and Sadie, and the rest? And she didn't do a thing but make good, either. I hadn't seen her since she quit the building: but I'd heard how she-was doin' fine, and here the other day I gets a card sayin' she'd be pleased to have my com-. pany on a Wednesday mgni at nan after eight, givln" an address on Fifth aven ue. "Corny must be carvln' the canta loup." thinks I. and then forgets all about it until Sadie hold me up and wants to know if I'm goin". "Nix." says I. "Them art studio stunts is over my head." "Oh, pshaw!" says Sadie. "How long since you have been afraid of Miss Belter? Didn't you and I help her to get her start? She'll feel real badly Jf you don't come." "She'll getover that." says I. "But Mrs. Pell and I will have to go all alone if you don't come with us," says she. "Mr. Pell Is out of town, and Plnckney Is too busy with those twins and that Western girl of his. You've got to come. Shorty." "That settle iw" saya I. "Why didn't you say so first off?" So that was what I was doin' at quar ter of eight that night, in my open-face vest and dinky little tuxedo, hustim along Forty-second treet, wonderln' if the folks took me for a head waiter late to his Job. You see, after I gets all ragged out I finds I've left my pat ent leathers at the studio. Swlfty has said he was goin' to take the night off. too. so I'm some' surprised to see the front office all lit up like there was a ball goin" on up there. I takes the steps three at a time, expectin' to find a couple of yeggs movln' out the safe; but when I throws the door open what should I see planted in front of the mirror but Swlfty Joe. Not that I was sure it was him till I'd had a second look. It was Swlfty's face, and Swlfty's hair, but the costume was a phllopena. It would have tickled song-and-dance artist to death. Any where off'n the variety stage, unless it was at a Fourth Ward chowder party. It would have drawn a crowd. Perhaps you can throw up a view of a pinhead check In brown and white, blocked off Into I four-inch squares with red and green lines; a double-breasted coat with scalloped cuffs on the sleeves, and silk faced lapels; a pink and wihte shirt striped like an awnln'; a spotted butter fly tie: yellow shoe in the latest oleo margarine tint; and a caffy-o-lay bean pot derby with a half-Inch brim to finish off the picture. It was a slzzler. all right. For a minute I stands there with my mouth, open and my eyes bugged, takln' In the details. If I could I would have skipped without sayin' a word, for I see I'd butted In on something that was sacred and secret. But Swlfty's heard me come in, and he's turned around reputation tht some of these birds have gained should be fretting at least a thou sand dollars a performance. The method of the birds is positively unprofes sional!" Defined. Puck. As nearly as can be differentiated, a Job 1 where a man does most of the work and somebody else gets most of the pay, and a position Is were . man gets most of the pay and somebody else does most of the work. ' And Perhaps More. Punch. Mr. Tell-lt My wife says her shopping at the bargain sale today reminded her of the lRst ballet she had seen. Mr. Her-lt How was that? Mr. Tell-lt Well, because almoet every thing waa 30 per cent off.. A Happy Thought. Boeton Transcript. "The time will come," cried the Socialist orator, "when the laboring man will have the wealthy under his feet. And what will happen then?" "He'll be walking on hla uppers," came a voice from the crowd. Variable Sentiment. "Of course, you are a great advocate of Industry," said the serious person. "Well." answered Farmer Corntossel. "when It comes to an opinion "bout ln dustry I s'pose I'm purty much like anyone else; It depends on whether I-'m doin' the work myself or hlrin' It done." V Always a Debtor. Chicago Journal. As a pleasant-faced woman passed the corner Harris touched his hat to her and remarked to hla companion: "Ah, my boy, I owe a. great deal to that woman." "Your mother?" waa the query. "No; my landlady." Horrors of Politics. Chicago Tribune. "Then you knew something of it al ready?" said the chairmen of the notifi cation committee, much chagrined. "Yes." answered the nominee, "I saw an Intimation of it in the newspapers. In fact, gentlemen." he addedX with a broad smile on his sunny face, "I had a printer's Inkling of it." Diffusing th Annoyance. Washington Star. "You don't suppose we take boarders because we need the money," exclaimed Farmer Corntossel. loftily. "I had) some such idea," answered the man who had ventured to criticise. "Not at all. We Just get these people A LITTLER ROM ANCE M THE LIFE OF PROCESSOR SttOBTY Ms CAB EX ASSISTANT v. i. " .' L C 1,1? "SEE HIM!' SAYS waitin'- for me to give a verdict. Not wantln' to hurt his feelin, I has to go careful. "Swift v." says I. "Is that you?" He only grins kind of foolish, sticks his chin out. nnd saws his neck against his hlga collar, like a cow usin' a scratchin' post. "Blamed if I didn't take you for Heury Dlxcy, -.rst ehot," says I, walk In' .tound and gettin' a new angle. "Gee! but tnat's a swell outfit!" X f V7 "-W.r."W .;.f :.-: I WASN'T SURE IT WAS HIM "Think so?" says he. "Will It make 'em sit up : "Will It?" says I. "Why, you'll have 'em on their toes." I didn't know how far I could go on that line without givln' him o grouch: but he seems to like It, so I tears off some more of the same. "Swlfty." say I. "you've got a bunch of tiger lilies lookln' like a faded tea rose. You've got a grt-up there that would win out at a Cakewalk, and if you'll take it over to Third avenue Sunday afternoon you'll be the best bet on the board." Wits Say in from town to keep the mosquitoes from devotln' all their attention to our home circle." Supplying Broken Parts. London Sketch. The Customer When I. bought a car from you a few weeks ago you said you would be willing to supply a new part If I broke anything. The Motor Agent Certainly, Sir. What can I have the pleasure of providing you with? The Customer I want a pair of new ankles, a floating rib, e. left eye. three yards of cuticle, a box of assorted finger nails, four molars, two bicuspids and a funny-bone. Venus Revenged. Chicago News. I-ong after the visitors' hour In the art gallery the statues engaged in conversa tion. "Say, Vene," called Neptune's daughter, "tell us the truth. How did. you lose your arms?" "You won't breathe It to anyone?" asked Venus. "You don't mean to say that a woman would tell a secret, do you?" "Well. I'll tell you. I was trying to get my hand over my 'merry widow' hat to attach the hatpin ana my arm snapped off." And the statues laughed so hilariously, that Mara awoke from his nap and grabbed his spear. The Latest About TafU "Heard the latest about TaftT" Inquired a campaign manager. "No. What is it?" the reporters asked. "It is copy for all of you, whether your papers are Republican, Democratic or Prohibitionist. A true and harmless story that will neither make nor unmake votes. "Mr: Taft," snld the campaign manager, after pausing to laugh, "was out taking a brisk constitutional one day, and in sharply negotiating a corner he ran square Into . peddler, upsetting the man'i tray of shoestrings and collar buttons. "The peddler, as he stooped to pick up his wares, grumbled to himself: " "And they want to say these here di rigible balloons is perfected!" Offered a Substitute. The beauteous young woman enters the drugstore hastily. "Is Mr. Chargem in?" she asks. "You mean the proprietor?" Inquires the affable clerk. "No, madam, I re gret to say that he la not In." "Oh. dear. I am sorry," she murmurs, into her beaming optics' creeping the shadow of disappointment. "Is there anything you wish?" the affable clerk asks. "Well you see Mr. Chargem is my fiance, and I am unexpectedly going away on a trip, and I called to to to kiss him good-by. And now he x; - - - - ,w-.r- r US, i . . i ; v - , i I .. , i . h, ? fe $ ' ' I fit V - ' I i WW Kit, x&v M "YOU DON'T NOTICE ANY BANDAGE "Honest?" says he, grlnnin way back to his ears. "I was after somethln' a little fancy, I'll own up." "Well, you got It," says I. "Where'd you have it built?" "Over the bridge." says he. Say, It's a wonder some of them South Brooklyn cToth carpenters don't get the blind staggers, turnln' out clothes like that: ain't it? "Must be some special occasion T' says I. UNTIL I'D HAD A SECOND LOOK, "D'ye think I'd be blowin' myself like this If It wa'n'tt" says he. "You bet. It's extra special." "With a bklrt in the background?" sajs I. "Uh-huh,"' says he, springin' anotlser grin. "Naughty, naughty!" ays I. "Ahr. say," says he. trying to look peevish, "you oughter to know better'n that! You never heard of me chasln' the Lizzies yet, did you? This is a real lady nice and classy, see?" "Some one on Fifth avenue?" says I. unwindln' a little string. But he whirls Isn't here, and the train goes In half a hour, and ' "I am truly sorry, madam." the clerk says, "that your fiance is not here to kiss you good-bye, but" -his profes sional training asserting itself "1 can give you something Just as good." Journalistic Enterprise in Indiana. Booth Tarklngton says that In no state have the newspapers more "journalistlo enterprise" than in his native Indiana. While stopping at a little Hoosler hotel in the course of hunting trip Mr. Tarklng ton lost one of his dogs, says Everybody's Magazine. "Have you a newspaper in town?" he asked of the landlord. "Right across the way, there, back of the shoemaker's," the landlord told him. "The Daily News best little paper of its size In the state." The editor, the printer and the printer's devil were all busy doing Justice to Mr. Tarklngton with an "In-our-midst" para graph when the novelist arrived. "I've Just lost a dog." Tarklngton ex plained after he had introduced himself, "and I'd like to have you insert this ad. for me: 'Fifty dollars reward for the re turn of a pointer dog answering to the name of Rex. Disappeared from the yard of the Mansion House Monday night.' " "Why, we were Just going to press, sir," the editor said, "hut we'll be only too glad to hold the edition for your ad." Mr. Tarklngton returned; to the hotel. After a few minutes he decided, however, that It might be well to add "No questions asked" to his advertisement, and returned to the Dally News office. The place was deserted, save for the skinny little freckle-faced devil, who sat perched on a high stool, gazing wistfully out of the window. "Where Is everybody?" Tarklngton asked. "Gawn to hunt th' dawg." replied the boy. without removing his gaze from the distant fields. The Time Puzzle. Nashville American. The clock in the parlor Is running too fast; The clock In the kitchen is slow; The clock In the hall Is at best but a tor. And half of the time It won't go. John's watch needs repairing, and Bill's wasn't wound: The clock In the attic won't chime; We've" no less than twenty timepieces about. And no one can tell us the time. From i-randfather's turnip you would not expect Exactness to minute and dot. But Ethel Miranda has one that is new. And hers should be right on the spot. It Isn't dependable, nevertheless. No more than the new dollar tick That Chester received as a prize with a suit And thought he was turning a trick. It's watches to right of us. watches to left. And clocks scattered round here and there. Besides a sundial that stands In the yard. Though broken and needing repair. In beautiful cases most all of them tick In plentiful rhythm and rhyme. But no one Is certain that his Is correct. And no one can swear to the time. To see that our meals are pulled off when they're duo. That no one may kick or complain. We average up every timepiece in the house And watch for the 8 o'clock train. If it is on time, we can feel we are saved, But when It is half an hour late We turn to our watches, our clocks and the un. And average their heated debats. K( t $ OVER MY EYES, DO YOU 7" round like I'd Jabbed him with a pin. "Who tipped you off to that?'" says he. "Guessed it by the clothes," says I. That simmers him down, and I could see he wanted to be confidential the worst way. He wouldn't Jet go of her name; but I gathered it's some one he's known for quite a spell, and that she's sent him a special Invite for this even in'. "Asks me to call around, see?" saye he. "Now, I put it up to you, Shorty; don't that look like I got some standln' with her?" "She must think pretty well of you. that's a fact," says I. "and I Judge that you're willin' to be her honey boy. Ain't got the ring In your vest pocket, have you?" , "Maybe that ain't so much of a Joke as you think," says he, settin' the bean pot lid a little more on one side. "Z-z-z-pp!" eays I. "That's goin' some! Well, well, but you are a cute one, Swlfty. Why. I never susplcloned such a thing. Luck to you, my lad; luck to you!" and I pats him on the back. "I don't know what chances you had before, but in that rig you can't lose." "I guess It helps," says he, twistin' his neck to get a back view. He- was puttln' on the last touches when I left. Couree, I was some stunned, specially by the Fifth avenue part of It- But then, it's a long street, and It's gettin' bo now that all kinds lives on it. I was a little behind sched. when I gets to Sherry's, where I was to pick up Sadie and Mrs. Purdy Pell; but at that It was 10 or 15 minutes before they get the tourin' car called up and, we're all tucked away inside. It don't take us long to cover the distance, though, and at 20 to 9 we hauls up at Miss Bel ter's number. I was just gofn' to pile out when I gets a glimpse of a pair of bright yellow shoes carryin' a human checker-board. "S-s-sh!" says I to the ladle. "Walt up a second till we see where he goes." "Why, who Is it?" says Sadie. "Swlfty Joe," says I. "You might not think it from the rainbow uniform, but It's him. That's the way he dresses the part when he etarts out to kneel to his lady-love." . "Really!" says Mrs. Pell. Is he1 going to do that?" 'Got it straight from him," says I. "There! he's worked his courage up. Now he takes the plunge." "Why!" says Sadie, "that is Miss Bel ter's number he' gdlng Into." "She don't live on all five floors, does she?" says I. "No; but it's odd. Just the same," says she. 'Raising Foxes for Their Fur H AVING failed as a chicken breeder I am now making a thousand dollars a year on my fox farm." The speaker was a New Hampshire woman who passed through New York the other day on her way to take two months' vacation In the Northwest. "About ten years ago my mother in herited a small farm in New Hampshire and we went there to live," she con tinued. "I had had some four years' ex perience in the city as a stenographer and had managed to save up in the neighborhood of J500. Mother had let fur nished rooms and had managed to scrape together more than double the amount of my savings. "As we hadn't found city life all that It is cracked up to be and both being coun try bred we were anxious enough to get back to the country. My capital was in vested In chickens and I worked faith fully to make my poultry pay. At the end of five years I hadn't one cent more In bank than when I started out. "The trouble wasn't In raising the chickens and eggs, but in selling them. Our farm was several miles from the shipping station and the shipping station was many miles from a good chicken market. By the time shipping expenses were paid there wasn't much in the way of profit. "So I decided to try something that would not be so expensive In getting to market. That Spring the hired man dug up seven young foxes. They were little beauties and It seemed a pity to destroy them for the misdeeds of their parents, who we all knew had lived on my poultry for more than a year. "Finally we decided to keep them and try to raise them for their sklhs. They proved most Interesting, and before the time came to sell their pelts I had done a lot of reading on the subject of rais ing fur-bearing animals for profit and decided to keep them and experiment. "I made a run and three dens of fine wire netting, according to the directions given by a breeder of the red fox. feed ing and caring for my seven experiments as he advised. The next February there was an increase of 20 to my flock, and two of them were silver foxes. "Of course I felt at once that my for tune was made. It Is the object of every fox-breeder to get silver kits. While a pair of pure red foxes will sell for only $15. a pair of good silvers will fetch J600. The silver fox Is nothing but a freak In color of the common red fox, Just as the black sheep Is a freak of the common sheep. "Though a pair of red foxes may have a black fox in their Utter and the black fox may prove to be the parent only of red foxes, still there Is a pretty good chance that two silver foxes will have some of their own kind in each litter, as such things usually run In families. The discovery that all my stock came from a family that produced silvers was like finding a small gold mine. It decided me I thought so myself; so I gives 'em the whole story of how I come to know about what he waa up to. By that time we-was cllmbln' the stairs, and as soon as we finds the right door I -forgets all about Swlfty In sizin' up Cornelia Ann. Say, what a difference a little of the right Kind of dry goods will make In a girl! won't it? The last I saw of Cornie she vs wearln' a skirt that sagged in the back, a punky lid that might have come off the top of an ash can, .and ehoes that had. run over at the heel. But prosperity had sure blown her way, and she'd bought a wardrobe to suit the times. Not that she'd gone and loaded herself down like she was a window display. It was Just a cucum ber green sort of cheese cloth that floated around her, and there wa'n't a frill on It except some silvery braid where the square hole had been chopped out to let her head and part of her shoulders through. But at that It didn't need any Paris tag. And say, I'd always had an Idea that Cornelia Ann was rated about third row back. Seein" the way she showed up there, though, with all that cinnamon colored hair of hers piled on top of her head, and her big eyes gllstenin', I had to revise the frame up. It didn't take me long to find out that she'd shook the shrinkln' violet game. too. She steps up and gives us the glad hand and the gurgly Jolly Just as if she'd been doin' it all her life. It wa'n't any cheap hangout that Cornie has tacked her name-plate on, either. There was expensive rugs on the floor, and brass lamps hangln' from the ceilin", and pieces of tin armor hung around on the walls, with nary a sign of an oil stove or a foldin' bed. A lot of folks was already on the ground. They was swells, too, and they was floatln' around eo thick that it was two or three minutes before I gets a view of what was sittin" under the big yellow lamp-shade in the cor ner. Say, who do you guess? Swifty Joe! Honest, for a minute I thought I must be havin' a nerve spasm and see in' things that wa'n't so. But It was him. all right; big as life, and lookin' as prominent as a soap ad. on the back cover of a magazine. There was plenty of shady places in the room that he might have picked, hut he has hunted out the bright spot. He's sittin' on one of these funny cross legged Roman stools, with his toes turned in, and them gridiron pants pulled up to show about fife Inches of MacGregor plaid socks. And he has a satisfied look on his face that I couldn't account for no way. Course, I thinks right oft that he's broke into the wrong ranch, and Is waitin' for some one to come and show him the way out. And then, all of a sudden, I begins to remember things. You know. It was Swlfty that Cornelia Ann used to get to pose for her when ehe had the top floor hack In our build ing. She made an embossed clay pic ture of him that Joe used to gaze at by the hour. And once he showed me her photo that she'd given him. Then there was the special Invite he'd been tellin' me about. Not beln' used to get tin' such things, he'd mistook that card to her studio openln' as a sort of pri vate billy ducks, and he'd built up a dream about him and her havin' a hand holdin' session all to themselves. "Great cats!" thinks I. "Can it be Cornelia. Ann he's gone on?" Well, all you had to do to get the answer was to watch Swlfty follow her around with his eyes. You'd thought, findin' himself in a bunch of topnotch ers like that, and rigged out the way he was, he'd been feelin' like a green strawb'ry In the bottom df the basket. But nothln' of that kind had leaked through his thick skull. Cornie was there, and he was there, dressed accord in' to his own designs, and he was as contented and happy as a turtle on a log, believin' the rest of us had only butted in. I was feelin' all cut up over his break, and tryin' 'to guess how Cornie was standln' it, when she floats up to me and says: "Wam't It sweet of Mr. Gallagher to to give up my poultry and eggs and de vote my attention entirely to fox farming. "As both my silvers were females I de cided to put all the money that I could safely lay out In buying the very best silver male fox on the market. There were not many to be bought, and the best I could do was one that was not nearly so beautiful as my own at $300 cash and a promise of an even division of all the silver kits he fathered during the first two years. "The first year there were no silver kits in his litter. The second year he ac cepted a second wife and between the two families there were three silver klt.. While none of them was as beautiful, as the mothers they were a decided improve ment on their father. - "By dint of scraping and borrowing from my mother I maiaged to keep all three, and It has proved about the best investment I ever made. "I have now a pair of black foxes who last February produced four perfect silvers. It was their first litter, but I feel reasonably sure that a red kit in their future families will prove to bein exception. "My flock during the last three years has comprised 30 foxes, and my dens and runs cover less than an acre of ground. All my fences are 10 feet high, of l4-lnch mesh No. 16 galvanized wire. This netting goes three feet un der the ground, and has an overdrop of 18 Inches at the top. This overdrop la a piece of ordinary mesh wire support ed on oross-pleces nailed to the posts. "The holes for the foxes should be about three feet. deep and must be roofed over In such a way as to turn the rain. It Is absolutely Imperative to have the nursery well drained and perfectly dry. Some fox-breeder line these holes, but my experience teaches that It is best to leave that to the mother, -who oftener than not leaves the den unlined. "Feeding Is of course of the greatest Importance. In the beginning I fol lowed the advice of a successful breed er, whose rule was to feed his foxes the same a his dogay By that he meant he gave them bread, table scraps and a little meat. "To that diet I have added dog bis cuits and a fox cake made of corn meal, sour milk, and enough soda to kill the sour taste in the milk. This is baked in thin pones and given to the foxes night and morning. Besides this bread I give each fox about a pint of skimmed milk a day and twice a week about a quarter of a pound of fresh meat. Too much meat is bad. "What would be the result of feeding them fat hens and rabbits, such food as they live on in the wild state. Is beyond the limits of my experience. Fortu nately, I understood enough about ani mals to know that what they eat In the wild state Is no guide to what should be given them when they are in captivity. "It Is a great mistake to have your breeding fox overfat- I never allow BY JTWELL FORD come? Have you seen lilm?" "Seen him!" says I. "You don't no tice any bandages over my eyes, do you? Notice the get-up. Why. he looks like a section of a billboard." "Oh, I don't mind his clothes a bit," says she. "I think he's real pictur esque. Besides. I haven't forgotten that he used to pose for me when hiring models meant going without meals. I wish you would see that he doesn't get lonesome before I have a chance to speak to him again." "He don't look like he needed any chirkin' up." says I, "but I'll go give him the howdy." So I trots over to the yellow shade and ranges myself up In front of him. "You might's well own up, Swift," says I. Is Cornie the one?" "Uh-huh," says he. "Told her about it yet?" saye I. "Ahr. chee!" says he. '.'Give a guy a chance." "Sure." saya I. "But go slow, Joey, go slow." I don't know how It happened, for all I told about It was Sadie and Mrs. Purdy Pell; but it wa'n't long before everyone In the Joint was next to Swifty, and was plpin' him oft. They all has to be introduced and make a try at gettin' him to talk. For a while he has the time of his life. Mostly he Just grins. The only one that don't fall to what's up is Cornelia Ann. She gets him to help her pass out the teacups and the cake, and tells everyone about ' how Swifty helped her out on the model business when she was Uvln' on pickled pigs' feet and crackers. Fln'lly folks begins to dig out their wraps and come up to tell her how they'd had a bully time. But Joe never makes a move. Sadie and Mrs. Pell wa'n't in any hurry, either, and the first thing I knows there's only the five of us left. I see Sadie lookln' from Joe to Cornie, and then passln' Mrs. Pell the smile. Cornelia Ann sees It. too. and she has a synopsis of the preeedin' chapters in a minute. But she don't get flushed a bit. She Bails over to the coat-room gets Swifty's lid, and comes luggin' it out. "I'm awfully . glad you came, Mr. Gal lagher," says she, handln' out the bean pot, "and I hope to see you again when I have another reception next year." "Eh?" says Swlfty, like he was wak in" up from a dream. "Next year! Why, I thought that " "Yes, but you shouldn't," ays she. "Good-night." Then he sees the hat, aid a light breaks. He grab the lid and makes a dash for the door. "Isn't he Odd?" says Cornelia. Well, say, I didn't know whether I'd get word thafnlght that Swlfty had Jumped off the bridge, or had gone back to the fusil oil. He didn't do either one, though; but when he shows up at the studio next moinln' he was wcarin" his old clothes, and his face looks like he was foreman of a lemon grove. "Ah, brace up, Swifty," says I. "There' others." He Just ehakea his head and sighs and goes off into a corner as It he wanted to die slow and llngerln". Then Saturday afternoon, when it rune off so warm and we begins the noon shutdown, I thinks I'll take a little run down to Coney and hear the frankfurters bark. I wa watchln" 'em load the boys and girls Into a roller coaster, when along conies a car that has somethln' familiar In It. Here's Swlfty, wearln' his brass-band suit, a cigar stickin' out of one corner of his mouth and an arm around a fluffy haired Flossie girl that was chewln' gum and wearln' a fruit-basket hat. They was lookln' happy. "Say, Swifty," I sings out, "don't for get about Cornie." "Ahr, chee!" says he, and off thpy goes down the chute for another lu cent ride. But say, I'm glad all them South Brooklyn art clothes ain't goin' to be . wasted. mine to go above 10 pounds, and rather prefer them to be two or three pounds lighter. It is best to keep the mother in a pen by herself until the kits are old enough to be independent. "The quieter she Is kept the better. "There are usually from four to 10 In a Utter. They are born blind and as a rule remain so until the eighth or ninth day. When they are a month old they begin to come out and are often as playful as a litter of young kittens. "Now I me time to begin to give them solid food, as the mother will wean them in their third month, and it is best for them to be prepared to feed themselves. By midwinter they attain their growth, and if kept for breeders will give their first litter in the follow ing February or March, when they are still less than a year old. "Whllo the fur Is prime In November, I always leave the gathering of my pelts until late In December, as It continues to get fuller, and does not begin to bleach until a month later. Fur Is always Improved by cold weath er and the food supply of the animal during the Autumn months. Oily food is especially desirable, fish heads being about the best that I have tried. "There Is always a good demand for fox pelts. . Prime common red pelts bring from $1 to $5. prime cross from $5 to $15, prime silver from $75 to $.100. "At present the demand for good breeding stock Is so keen that many fox farmers never sell their pelts. A fox whose pelt Is worth $100 Is wortii at least three times that amount for breeding. My prices for breeders is about the average, and I sell all I oan raise, reds at $15 a pair, cross at $75 a pair, and silvers from $300 to $600. "How long these prices will hold Is impossible for anyone to predict with anything like certainty. It Is my opin ion, however, that there will be ample time for many women of this genera tion to make a comfortable living and lay up a competence before the demand r the prices fall off to any consider able extent." , A Mistaken Situation. Brooklyn Life. A rather elderly gentleman stepped on a Fifth-avenue car In Pittsburg' about 11 o'clock the other night, and after giving the conductor explicit directions to .wake him when the car reached Federal street, seated himself in a corner and was soon sound asleep. When he had ridden about half a dozen blocks beyond Federal street a sudden lurch of the car wakened him. Rubbing his eyes, he looked out of the window and, seeing where he was, angrily accosted the conductor thus: "Conductor, why didn't you wake me up as 1 tild you? Here I am a half-mile past my house." I "I did try. sir," responded the con ductor, "but all I could get you to say was. 'AH right, Mary, get the children their breakfast and I'll be down In a minute.' "
