The Sunday Oregonian., August 30, 1908, Magazine Section, Page 6, Image 52

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THE SIJXDAY OREGOXUX. PORTLAND, AUGUST 30, 190S.
G
rui crir?
" 5TI fltvk THE PINK. TIGHTS!
vS (MlYVli -K lYv - XI?OPPD INTO A I
j (mI -yfn y iV nest w: iiv
Sr I jsj V ) 1 WIRES AND A
E5iSr4lj ) ih ll PLEASANT TIME
"jjSj" 'WAS HAD SVALL i
"i
BEEN down to Brighton to see
that there new flyin'. machine,"
"said the House Detective of the
St. Reckless: "never agin fer mine."
"What happened?" asked the Hotel
Clerk.
"That wuz Jist it." said the morose
House Detective, "nothin" happened."
"Didn't she sail?" insisted the Hotel
Clerk.
"Oh. yes. she sailed, if that's wot you
want to call it," admitted the House
Detective. ""A Frenchy-Iookln' guy
with more'n nine dollars' worth of real
hair whiskers on his face climbed
a-straddle of somethin' that looked like
tin cigar, up amongst a lot of silly
canvas wings, and started up a buzz
fan ' that stuck out behind" the works,
and the thing raised right up off the
ground and circled around the same as
somebody rldin' a bicycle. But there
wuzn't nothin' excltin' to it It wuz all
so blamed simple till it wuz mighty
near foolish. When a feller pays his
good money for a show like that he
w-ants somethin' excltin'."
"To be sure he dors." said the Hotel
Clerk soothingly. "So does everybody
else. That's what's helped to make
ballooning eo popular as an amusement
among the masses. The first time in 1
SAY, if you've got any dippy relations
or freak friends comin' to town, or
If you're expectin' anybody that's
troubled with enlargement of the ego. Just
send 'em my way. I seem to be a kind
of receiver for all such that's missed the
squirrel house. I'm as handy as a day
nursery in a department store, and as
willin' as a new hired girl.
When it conies to references, there'!
Purdy Tell. I've Just been doln' a stunt
for him that ought to get me a recom
mend. It ain't clear to me yet. though,
how I come to be put on the Job. Course
I know him more or less, havin' been out
to his place on the sound a few times,
and he's been one of my reg'lars here at
the studio for quite a spell; but I can't
say we ever got real thick. Purdy Pell
ain't that kind. He couldn't limber up
an more'n a length of gas pipe.
Now. Mrs. Purdy Pell's Just the other
way. She's a born mixer, she is; and so
long as it's her makes out the invitation
lisrs. you're liable to run into all sorts out
to Rockywold. Not that Purdy don't try
hard enough to be sociable: but unless
he gets in with his own kind he acta
about as much to home as an icicle at a
May party you know, one of them
human cold storage plants.
Stlli. even the frostiest of 'em has their
little fads. Trout fishin' is his. You let
unpin come along and open up about
fly rods and click reels and brush castin'.
and Purdy thaws out like a water pipe
- that's been given the bonfire test. He's
about'the last man you'd look for to de
velop any sportin" blood; but I guess It's
there. Every Spring he goes way off up
into Maine, where all the places has
names ending In "untie"' and "bago," and
stays with the game a couple of weeks.
Maybo I'd heard about his havin' been
up there this- year, and maybe I hadn't.
The news wouldn't have kept me awake
nights. If I had. But when he shows up
at the studio the other day lie seems to
take, it for granted that I've had a full
report and know all the details.
"Professor McCabe." says he (it's never
Shorty with him, always professor), "I
really don't know what I am going to do
about Caribou Joe."
"That so?" says I. "Is it glanders, or
a touch of the mange that ails him?"
"Beg pardon," says he; "I don't get the
connection.'
"Me either." says I. "You was sayln'
something about some Joe or other; but
you didn't mention whether he was a
trottin' horse or a bulldog."
"Why." says he. "Caribou Joe is my
old trout guide the best guide in the
Rangeleys and he is - making his first
trip to the city."
"Well." says I, "if he's a guide, he
ought to be able to find his way "round
a place that's as well labeled as New
York. What's the trouble 7"
"He is coming as my guest." says Pell,
"and unfortunately there is a directors'
meeting which prevents my meeting hire
at the train, as I promised to do."
"That's too bad," says I. "Now, if I
knew this Joe of yours by sight. I'd Just
as soon sub. for you a not."
"Oh. you couldn't help knowing him
, sifter he sad once been described." says I
his life that a man' goes to a balloon
ascension he goes to the balloon ascen
sion. After that he keeps on going in
the hopes of being on hand the time
the fellow's grip slips or the parachute
refuses to open. I remember once at
the county fair back home I went to
ten balloon ascensions hand running.
But on the last day I lost interest and
stayed away, and that very afternoon
the party with the red tights on
dropped 600 feet into a nest of live
wires, and a pleasant time was had by
all. I s'pose you'd have come back
here today with that bright young face
of yours all wreathed In smiles if you'd
only Seen able to report that the steer
ing gear got out of fix at a height of
half a mile and the Ill-fated inventor
spilled all over the roof of the grand
stand." "Well, anyway, I ain't so strong fer
It," said the House Detective, "It's noth
in' but a toy."
"Right again, as ever." said the Ho
tel Clerk, warmly. "It's only a toy.
The deluded creature that built It
pushes a button and it gets- up In the
air and sails with the wind and against
the wind and circles around as reliable
as- a circus horse, and you stand there
on terry firmah, which is an Irish pet
name for the earth, upon your two
large, self-reliant feet, and say It's a
toy. Out In Ohio a couple of chaps
spend seven or eight years pottering
Pell. "Besides, I have a photo of him In
my pocket, and If it wouldn't be too
murh trouble, professor, I should be "
"Why, sure!" says I. "Show us his
map. and I'll try my hand at the re-
trievin' act.
Say, you'd think I'd been stung times
enough to know better'n that, wouldn't
you? But that first offer of mine was
only a. bluff, and when he took me up
on It unexpected there was nothin' to do
but look cheerful. He don't leave me
any chance to renig. but starts In givin"
me a description and life hlst'ry of this
Caribou gent.
Seems that Joe was a French Canuck
who'd drifted over the border into Maine
so long ago that he was almost a native,
and had worked up a reputation in the
guide business that must have gone to
his head. Accordln to Purdy, Joe could
smell a trout lyln under a log at the bot
tom of a 20-foot pool and mesmerize him
Into thlnkin' he was hungry for rubber
flies. Anyway, this last trip he'd steered
Pell to a place where be caught 'em big
enough so they didn't need much lyin'
about, and Purdy has such a spasm of
gratiture that he turns around and in
vites Joe to come down and have a look
at the reddest spot on the chart. Joe
shies at first; but after Purdy gets home
and Mrs. Pell hears him tell what a
wonder Joe is., she makes him send an
other invite wrapped up In railroad
passes. That fetches him. I'll bet if it
had been a one-way pass to the Main
Sulphur Works, Joe wouldn't have
missed takin' a free ride. And he was
due on the 4 o'clock Boston express.
"It's awfully kind of you," says Pell.
"There isn't another person I could trust
with this errand; for Joe is such a wild.
Impulsive fellow rather a desperate
character, I fancy. But you have the
knack of managing such "
"Say," says I, "I didn't know they
grew any bad men up Bangor way.
What's his specialty, gun fightin" or
knife carvin'?"
"Well, really," says Pell, "I can't say
that he is as bad as that. In fact. I
have never seen him do anything realy
violent or vicious;, but I have gathered.
from things he has said, that perhaps he
was somewhat of a desperate character
when crossed."
'Oh. you got It from him,' did you?"
says I.
He had. He thought, too, there was a
wild strain in Joe that might make him
bloodthirsty at times, if not handled
right.
"Gee:" says I, "I hope he don't bring
his appetite for gore ail the way to New
York. I'd look nice, wouldn't I, bein'
chased down Fifth ave. by a mossback
from the State of Maine." ,
But Pell says that as soon as I men
tion his name there won't be any trou
ble, and all I has to do is to spot Joe
when he gets off the express, steer him
round to the New Haven local, take him
out to Rockywold and hand him over to
Mrs. Pell. -
So that afternoon finds me over to the
Grand Central waitln' in the concourse.
holdin' a snapshot picture in one hand
and lookin' sharp for a stoop-shouldered,
long-haired gent with a pair of UUlaJ
around, putting togethor a machine
that looks something like an Insane
linen shower and something like a col
lection of Intoxicated fruit crates. The
sympathetic neighbors on their way to
the rolling mill or the notions store
come by and look over the alley fence
and see these two brothers in their
shirt sleeves, tinkering away at their
stupid velocipede works and their pif
fling clothes poles, and they shake their
heads and say. Poor, dementen
wretches there's nothing to it! To
think of large grown men that might
, be getting their two dollars a day put
ting the lnsides Into cash registers,
frittering away their lives on a back
yard full of truck like that. Well
praises be: it won't be long till they'll
be up at the state asylum, where they
belong, running around a little tin wheel
and sitting up on their hind legs to beg
for .nckorynuta.'
"But about two days before the really
Intelligent citizens on the block are go
ing to call In the lunacy commission and
have 'em put in the official squirrel cage
along with all the other chipmunks, they
step aboard their crazy device some
morning and yank a couple of levers
back a notch or two and there is a
low whirring noise and by the time the
safe and . sane shoedealer who lives
next door can get out on his kitchen
tens they are making the second cir
cuit around the spire of th Cumberland
Presbyterian Church. ,
"After a bit they settle down grace
fully and step out; may be expecting a
few kind plaudits from the populace.
Do they get them? They do not. We're
Just . out of plaudits, but we have a
few neat underhand knocks in stock,
and maybe they'll do. We say, 'Oh. yes.
It flew, although we have our doubts
about it ever flying again. But can you
carry freight on it? Is there any ar
rangement for handling excursions and
large picnic parties? Has it got hot and
cold' water connections, and is there an
all-night Janitor service? Ah-hah, we
thought so. It's merely a toy you have
there and we're too old to be playing
with toys at our age.'
"So they, the Ohio parties, have to go
to Prance, where the government, the
army and the clergy are constantly tak
ing short excursions into mid-air, with
or without provocation, before they can
get popular consideration. Over on this
side none of us thought so well of that
German Count's sausage-shaped airship
while It was merrily coursing like a large
winged frankfurter up and down the
valley of the Wacht am Rhein River.
But the next day when it got hit by
lightning and a cyclone and was burned
to the roots' with a loud gutteral sound,
the American public came out very
strong for-:the Idea and We gave It our
hearty Indorsement.
It's like this, Larry. For MO years we
have been waiting for this glorious day.
To circumnavigate the blue empyrian in
the presence of loud cheering multitudes
has been the dread of baseball pitchers
but the dream of everyone else. There's
been many false alarms from time to
time. Often It would be W"alter Well-
man," Kational president of the Hearth
and Home Society of Indoor Polar Ex
plorers, getting ready to start for the
Arctic Circle in an airship but postponed
on account of wet grounds or cold feet.
or something. Or else Nick Tesla, the
Eva Tanquay of the electrical world,
would make his usual semi-weekly an
nouncement of the exclusive discovery
of the true secret of aerial navigation;
parties with money to invest, please
write.
But we never lost our abounding hope
in the ultimate solution of the problem
that has been hanging such a fatal ope-
black eyes and a grizzly mustache long
enough to tie under his chin.
If I hadn't always tended out reg'lar
on the sportin' shows at the Garden,
maybe I'd beeli expectin' somethin' pic
turesque In the way of costume; but I've
seen enough Maine guides to know that
they're apt to hit town dressed to the
minute, even if It takes the last celluloid
collar In the box. So I was dependin'
mostly on spottln' Joe by the bonnet
string lip whisker. . That s why, when
the train pulls in and the procession be
gins to form on the asphalt walks, I
come mighty, near oyelookln' the party
in the coon-skln cap and the red sash.
Just as he's passin'. though, I gets a
glimpse of the six-Inch soup strainers
and the rat terrier eyes, and. then I
knows It must be Caribou Joe.
He's a little, squizzled up old chap.
wearln' felt boots with rubber bottoms,
a blue flannel shirt and a greasy old
huntin' coat with cartridge loops and
pockets all over it. Slung over his
shoulder is a blanket roll with a-coffee
pot and a frjrin" pan strapped on top;
but, outside of somethin wrapped up
in a newspaper, that's all the baggage
he has. From the cookin' tools, it looks
like Joe wa'n't goin' to take any chances
on missln' Pell and findln' all the taverns
Bhut up. He was fixed to camp on
Broadway or anywhere else. Say, he
was a nice article to step up and claim
lh a crwd. I'd paid money to have
been there and seen Purdy Pell done it.
But it was up to me Just then; so I falls
into step alongside of Joe, hits him a
pat on the back and sings out:
'TJello. Caribou! Hows things up along
the Allegash?"
It was the wrong openin ; I see that
the minute I makes the play. Joe goes
right up in the air. side steps Into a
pussy old party with a cane, caroms off
against one of them red-capped brunette
baggage wrestlers and nearly raises a
panic.
"Hay!" he squeals. "You quit that
or I'll lambaste ye!"
'Don't get excited now. says I .tryin
to calm him down; "I'm only"
1 know ye. gol ding ye! says he.
edgin' off. "You're one of them bunkum
fellers. Scat!"
Ah. can that kind of hollerln ! " says
"I'm subbin' for Mr. Purdy Pell, Joe.
He couldn't be here himself, and he
wants me to take you out to his house.
See. hera'ji .your picture he gave ma."
I J nim i i tTIL suspended matter;
fti IflM' """I IffiT"! JJKOACHOWDER,
ration. We had a feeling that we were
meant to fly. We had this feeling strong
er, perhaps, after a champagne dinner,
but we had it at other times, too. Some
thing seemed to tell us that the hour
would come when we a know how to
travel at will upon that treacherous sub
stance which exerted a pressure of I don't
know how many pounds to the square
inch, until you tried to step on some
night, when you came home late, gently
simmering, whereupon It slipped out from
under you and slammed you prostrate on
your abashed map. Every time an ad
venturous gent took a chance with a new
style of heaven-scaling caboose, we'd, wait
until he was through spattering down
from aloft, and then we'd shake our
heads and say, 'Poor hair-brained dope
that he was: yet, still, his death was not
in vain, for it was seen and enjoyed In a
large crowd, and, besides, some day pos
Well, that soothes him a little, and
after I've said it over three or four times
and give the run to a couple of butt-ins
that tried to take Joe's part, he looks
me up and down real careful and con
cludes to take a chance. I didn't lose
any time about leadin' him into the
smokin' car of the local; but even after
I'd got him stowed safe his little rat eyes
was dartin' four ways watchln' for trou
ble. "You're all right now, Joe," says I.
"Mebby so," says he; "but I got four
teen dollars sewed inside my shirt, and
the man that gits it has got to take it
ofT'm my dead body. I'm Caribou Joe,
b'gosh !"
"Well," says I. "you look it. I hear
you're a- bad man in a muss, too."
And say, I could see right away that
was the lead to follow. His eyes snaps
and his chest 'begins to swell out.
"Where'd you hear that?" says he.
"Why, most every one in New York
knows about you," says I. "They says
you're the rlpsnorter of the Rangeleys."
That fetches a great big grin out of
him. and inside of about two minutes I
had him goin' Just right.
"What's your particular line,. Joe?"
says I.
"Injuns." says he. tappln' himself on
the breastbone. "I don't cal'late to talk
much about it: but when it comes to
Injun fightin', I'm home."
"Didn't know them Bangor Injuns
went on the warpath often," says I.
"Bangor!" he snorts. "Guess you mean
Oldtown? Wall, them kind don't. That's
why I ain't never had a chance to show
what I'm made of; but if ever I start
West once, after them Si-ox and Ay
paches, you'll hear of things that'll make
yer blood run cold."
"Ain't tackled any ot 'em yet, then?"
says I.
"No," says he; "but I've read lots
about the cusses in books. See?"
And what do you suppose lie shows
up? A roll of nickel lib'ries, same's you
see these D. T. kids and office boys read-,
in' in the subway trains. Say, them
waybackers get some queer bubbles In
their gray matter, eh? Here was this
old rooster, almost old enough to be a
granddaddy, and goin' daffy over such
stuff as that.
Well, I Jollies him along and he pulls
the throttle wide open. Blow! Why. to
listen to him dope It out. you might
think he'd caught all the fish and killed J
terity, recognizing that he was one of a
noble band of pioneers blazing the starry
path of progress, will come and sink a
shaft to his memory in the hole that he
made when he hit.'
"And then, all of a sudden, after all
these years, the air gets full of foreign
suspended matter, like a chowder. All
over this fair land and other lands that
are fair, except when holding the Olym
pian eames on the home grounds, we
see airships flitting to and fro, some
shaped like a Morris chair In a nest of
bladders and some like a pineapple cheese
that's succeeded in sprouting fins and
gills, and some like a sectional bookcase
with neat flippers attached.
"The great day has dawned, or anyway
it's verging on a dawn. But do we get
excited? We do not. An epoch has burst
upon us. but it's an off year for epochs
or else epochlng is not the thing it once
all the game the Maine woods ever pro
duced, and that when it came to hero
stunts all he needed was room to swing
himself. Compared to him a Rialto ham-
fatter admittln' how good he was could
be convicted of bein' modest.
Next thing Joe does is to open his coat
and exhibit bis medals. It was a col
lection that most covers his shirt front
and they was all kinds, from a Grand
Army badge to a silver shield won at a
turkey shoot. I Judged that most of
"em had been faked up by city sports
that wanted to string him; but Joe
j-eemed as proud of the lot as if they d
all been presented by Congress.
It was a heap easier to start Joe talkln'
about himself than it was to switch him
off: but at last I strikes the combination.
"I expect Mrs. Pell will be glad to
see you," says I.
"Huh," he grunts. "I don't want to
see no women."
"What's wrong with the ladies?" says
I.
"Don't like "em," says he, and shuts up
like a clam.
"Oh, I guess you'll take to Mrs. Purdy
Pell." says L
But that's where I wa'n't a prophet.
She's waitin' at the station with the rig:
but Joe wouldn't so much as shake hands
with her, and when she moves over to
make room for him on the same seat, he
sniffs and climbs up alongside the coach
man. "What a delightfully odd character he
is," says Mrs. Pell to me.
"He's all of that," says I. "Hope you
enjoy his visit."
With that I goes back to town, glad
enough to get him off my hands; and
when I fetches the studio who should I
meet comin' out but my old side partner,
Leonidas Dodge, all rigged out In sporty
clothes and wearin' a puff tie with a
Brazilian diamond horseshoe almost life
size.
"Gee, Leonidas," sa5"S L "you look like
money was easy and you'd let some
Bowery tailor go as far as he liked. Why
the noisy uniform?
"It's part of the business, son." says he.
"You ain't gone to makin' a book, have
you?" says I.
'I might ot known he hadn t. He ex
plains that he's got a Job managin' the
Deadwood Dick Wild West Company
that's gettin together here for an early
start on the Southern circuit. But even
with a backer that's a willin' performer j
was. From what I gather, an epoch is a
tremendous thing before it comes and a
tremendous thing after it's cone, but
doesn't amount to a dern while It' here.
This epoch should have chosen a time
for bursting when we were not so deeply
interested in things of great moment, such
as the importation of the style of skirt
which shows up a woman's figure when
she's got one and shows it up Just the
same when she hasn't got one, and the
Salome movement. We merely cast an
eye aloft and say to ourselves that it
seems a mighty foolish thing for a lot of
grown men to waste their time trying to
get a few hundred feet Into the air in
one of these dirteible toys, when a sky
scraper is more durable and an elevator
much handier.
"You remember the first automobile,
Larry a small, scared-looking thing re
sembling a kitchen range on a truck, that
on the check book, Leonidas Is havin'
his troubles.
"It's because the noble red man is get
tln' to be such a scarce article." says he.
"Never saw anything like it before in the
hlst'ry of the tent show business. Here I
am offering forty-Aye a month, board ana
transportation free, and the best I can
do towards assemblln' my troupe of gen
uine war chiefs, each and everyone of
whom was in the thick of the fight at
Wounded Knee, is to collect a scrubby
bunch of Cattaraugus County basket
makers, that never wore a blanket In
their lives, and wouldn't know a snake
dance from the minuet. Wild, untutored
savages, straight from the reservations
of the great West, they're supposed to
be; but say, where I've been boardin' 'em
over in Brooklyn they kick if they don't
have fresh napkins every meal. Forty-five
a month, and me rehearsln' 'em in the
yip-yip chorus until my throat Is sore!
I'm even showin' some of 'em how to
handle their guns. That's what comes of
overdoln' this Wild West game. Shorty."
Well, I sympathizes with Leonidas, and
promises to take a run over that evenm'
and watch him put his gang of near
reds through their drill. I was Just
gettin' ready to do it too, when Mrs.
Pell gets me on the wire. She wants
to know if I can't come out to Rocky
wold right away.
"It's that horrid guide." says she. "He's
frightened all the maids half to death,
threatened the butler with a knife, and
now he's in the library rolled up in a
Turkish rug before the fireplace, snoring
dreadfully. I have a lot of guests here.
and Purdy has sent word that he can't
get out until late, and we don't know
what to do.
"Haven't tried turning the hose on
him, have you?" says I.
"Oh, we wouldn't dare," says she.
Purdy has told me all about how despe
rate he is. I don't want to send for tne
police; but I thought perhaps you might
bring, out a what do you call it a posse,
or something like that, and "
'Sure! says I. "I've got one right
handy. We'll be out on the nine-thirty."
Course, i d thought of Leonidas and hts
basketmakcrs. I makes a break for the
subway, catches a bridge express, hmes
across to Brooklyn, and rushes into tne
hall where Dodge was holdin' his Injun
kindergarten.
Leonidas," says I. "if you want to
give your braves some field work, ana
mingle a little with the fat wads at tne
same time. Jerk half a dozen out of
the front row and follow me."
It didn't take much argument to gat
Leonidas warmed up to a proposition of
that kind. Soon's I've named the place,
he begins to hustle. He loads up a
couple of suitcases with feather bonnets.
cowboy pistols, and blank cartridges,
picks out his squad, and off we starts
to the rescue. On the way up we plans
the campaign. And that's where Dodge's
dramatic talent comes out strong.
jeonmas. says I, awter he's told me
the scheme he's thought up, "you hadn't
ought to be managin' a phony'WIld West I
show: you ought to be runnin' a Joint like I
the Hippodrome. I
JAYT THE
HOTEL CLERK
BY
IRVIN S.C0BBT
smelled like the mink cage in a warm
zoo and sounded like the finish of a mu
sical act? It could run four miles an hour
if It took a team along, but if you treated
It rough its lnsides all fell down on the
bottom in a heap and made a noise like
shaking pennies out of a kid's bank. But
now automohiling is an industry that pro
vides occupations for thousands In work
shop, hospital and marble yard, and on
every hand we see the large, dark red,
40-horsepower harvesting machine flitt'ng
about, laden with gallant men wearing
goggles and a set expression, and lovely
ladies with their nearts wrapped up in net
ting like father's oil portrait in flytime.
Yet it's only been 10 years since we had
the first one and I'll bet you that since
that time the wise party who first called
It a toy has been run over no less than
seven distinrt times by both the domestio
and the imported makes. '
"When an unhappy dippy party named
Fulton, w4th a brain like a sofa pillow,
churned up the Hudson River on an in
sane thing that he'd thought up out of
his poor feather-infested head. I under
stand the hanks were lined for miles with
the intelligence and culture of the vi
cinity, who spent a (jlca.sant day making
fun of the freak. I nii-nt state in pass
ing that some of the desetndunts of those
same merrymakers are now straining
their resources so as to be able to buy
a $300,000 grandchild of Fulton's ark and
float a yacht club iiag that shows a saf
fron stripe across an azure field, thus de
noting some blue blood and a broad yel
low streak. There's not a doubt in my
mind that the distinguished Knglish gen
tleman who got killed on the first trip
of the first locomotive was standing on
the track so he could speak a few loud,
clear words regarding the folly of expect
ing that a flighty, steam-driven, animated
toy teapot could ever hops to compete
with the reliable stage coach. And as for
Galileo and Harvey and other ancient
di:bs, .you remember what happened to
them. We do things to a great inventor
while he lives, and for him after he dies.
"In the years to come, Larry, whan a
gentleman who doesn't seem to cars for
his wife will take her half a mile ip in
the family aeroplane runabout and const
her overboard above the stone quarry;
when the younger society set are having
kite ohases over the Orange Mountain
instead of aniseseed bag hunts through
the truck farms of Westchester County;
when the Jersey-bred commuter, no longer
depending on the 10:45 ferry, will be able
for the first time in his whole sad life
to see how the last act ends; when the
Board of Aldermen are taking steps to
prevent the Big Tim Sullivan Chowder
Club from littering up the front stoops
and premises of private citizens, with
clam shells and beer bottles and mussy
outsiders while upon their annual upping
you and me'll go up to the Hall of
Fame to see 'em unveil a couple of
large tablets to the Messrs. Wright broth
ers. And there'll be nothing said about
toys in the dedication address, either."
"Tell me," asked the House Detective,
"are these here Wrights any kin to the
old gent from down South that's been1
made Secretary of War?"
"I don't think it's possible," said the
Hotel Clerk. "The Wrights from Ohio
come down sometimes, but the Wright
from Tennessee has been up in the air
ever since he got the Job."
When we gets up to the Rockywold
gates I leaves Dodge and his crew behind
and goes In alone. Mrs. Pell and a lot
of other ladies has barricaded themselves
in the parlor, but they comes out when I
shows up and almost falls on my neck.
"Thank goodness you're here!" says she
Just the way the heroine does In a war
play.
"Say, I think you might have played
me on with a little snare drum music,"
says I, grinning.
J'But It's no Joke," says she. "He has
built a fire in there, and we didn't know
what he would do next. Have you
brought help?"
"A wagonload," says I.
Then I tells her not to get scared if
she hears a little racket outside, because
nobody's going" to get hurt, and there
wa'n't goin' to be any damage done. Next
I tiptoes over to the lib'ry and does a
little scout in'.
Caribou Joe Is camped out in front of
the fireplace, as cozy as if he was In the
tall timber. He has woke up from his
snooze and is squattin' in front of the
fire makin' himself a cup of coffee. For a
first call, he was actlu' right to home. I
sneaks to the front door and holds up a
lighted match, just as Leonidas has said,
and then I goes back and butts in on the
Terror of the Rangeleys.
"Joe." s.-rys I, "didn't I hear you say
somethin' about your just arhlu' to get a
whack at real, sure enough Injuns?"
Joe don't deny it. He's ready to go
over the whole story again; but I cuts
him off.
'Then your chance has come at last,
says I. "and you'll never have another
like it as long as you live."
He looks kind of suspicious, and wants
to know how.
"How?" says I. "Why there's Injuns
around this house this very minute. I've
come to get you to help me wipe 'em
out. They're a band that was brought
on from the plains to go in a show; but
they must have got away from their
keepers, for they're cavortin' around out
side like so many red devils. There's no
tellln' when they'll break In and scalp
all those helpless women folks."
"Injuns?" says Joe. "I don't believe no
such durned yarn."
"You don't?" says I. Listen to that,
then! There it goes again! Hear m?"
Say, Leonidas didn't run a Sagawa
show two seasons for nothin'. Them war
whoops, the way they was handln' "em'
out. would have done credit to old Sittin'
Bull himself.
"Come on, Joe!" says L "We've got to
drive 'em off or die in the attempt.
But Joe dld't make any grand rush o
get at 'em. As near as I could judge byj
the symptoms, he was gettin' nervous.
"I'd like to." says he; "but I ain't got
a wepping of any kind about me. nothin'
but my hunting knife, and if they're real
Injuns I wouldn't stand' no show at aiu;
Now, if I only had my old deer rifle, or:
even a pistol "
"Here" you are; take your pick." says I,i
flashln' a couple of overgrown Colts. "I'vei
got a box of cartridges, too. Come onl
There goes their yell again. Gee! but I'rai
(Concluded on Pace XLX