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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 2, 1908)
t 7 THE SUNDAY OREGOMAS, rOKTLAM), AUGUST 2, 1303 1 II PROFESSOR dfefQISTY fizjatjd& An jrc:j:nEir ksufzizovniii& two jmz I L : : " ' : .1 - s 1' u . MAYBE I was tellln' you something about them two rockln- chair com modores from the yacht club, that I've rot on my reg-lar list? They're some of Plnckney's crowd, you know, and that's Just as good as sayln they're more ornamental than useful. Anyway, that description's a close fit for Purdy. First off I couldn't stand for Purdy at ail. He's one of these natty, bandbox chappies, with straw-colored hair slicked down as smooth as if he's just come up from a dive, and a costume that looks as if It might have been copied from a stained glass window, you've seen them hemale symphonies In grays and browns, with everything matched up. from the shirt studs to the shoe buttons? Now, I don't mind a man s bein' a swell dresser I've got a few hot vests myself but this tryin' to be a Mr. Fastelle Is runnln' the thing Into the ground. Purdy could stand all the Improvln' the tailor could hand him, though. His eyes were popped Just enough to give him a continual surprised look, and there was more or less of his face laid out In nose. Course, he wa'n't to blame for that; but Just the same, when he gets to comin' to the studio twice a week for glove work and the chest weights. I passes him over to Swlfty Joe. Honest, I couldn't trust mys-lf to hit around that nose proper. Put Swlfty uses him right. Them clothes of Purdy's had got Swlfty go!n and he wouldn't have mussed him for a farm. After I'd got used to seein' Purdy around, I dln't mind him so nyieh myself. He seemed to be a wel! meanln', quiet, sisterly sort of a duck, one of. the kind thst fills In the corners at afternoon teas, snd wears out three pairs of pumps every Winter leadln cotillions. You'll see his name flsurin1 In the society notes: how Mrs. Burgess Jones gave a dinner dance at Sherry's for the younger set. and the cotillion was led by Mr. Purdy Bligh. Say. how's that as a steady Job for a grown man; eh? Put so Ion as I'm treated square by anyone, and they don't try to throw any lugs around where I am, I don't feel any call to lot 'em in on my private thoughts. So Purdy and me gets along first rate; snd the next thing I know he's callln' me Phorty. and bein' as glad to see me when lie comes In as if I was one of his old p.-ils. How you goln' to dodge a thing of that kind? And then, 'fore I knows what's omln". I'm rtelit in the middle of this Bombazoula business. It wa'n't anything I butted Into on pur pose, now you can take that straight. It was this way: I was doln' my reg'lar afternoon stroll up the avenue, not payin much attention to anything in particular. whn a cab pulls up at the curb, and I looks around, to see Purdy leanln' over the apron and makln' motions at me with hta cane. "Hello!" says I. "Have they got you strapped In o you can't get out?" "By Jove!" says he, 'I never thought of Jumping out. you know. Beg pardon, old man. for hailing .you in that fashion, hut " . 'Tut It!" says I. "I ain't so proud as all that. What's doln'?" "It's rather a rummy go."' says he; "but where can I buy some snakes?" "That-s rum mv. all right," eays I. "Have you tried sendin" him to an Insti tute?" "Sending who?" says he. "Oh!'' says I. "1 figured this was a ' snake cure, throwin' a scare into some body, that you was plannin'." "Oh. dear, no." says Purdy. "They're for Valentine. He's fond of snakes, you STRANGENATURALPHENOMENA WHICH WERE OXCE ATTR1BITED TO THE EVIL O.NE ' THE discovery of a new geyser every now and then in the Y'ellowstone Park suggests that it has not been so many years since this wonderful area was known and even now there are few persons who are familiar with Its area. Probably the first white man to see an American geyser was John Colter. On h return from the Pacific Coast, where h went with the lwls and Clark ex pedition, he went through the park, but he loft little record of what he saw. In 1M2 an article describing the geysers was printed In the Western Literary Maga zine of Buffalo, N. Y., and copied Into a Mormon paper of Nauvoo. 111., but It did not create much stir, and though a f-w guides and explorers knew of it be fore the Civil W"ar It was not until 1ST0 that Its wonders became generally known. Then a party of men from Montana un der General H. D. Washburn made a tour of the arena and published a re port of the wonderful geysers. This party was accompanied by cavalrymen, for they expected to meet hostile Indians, and In reality undertook a dangerous Journey. Though geysers are - such wonderful phenomena that one never ceases to be amazed at them, the fact Is that In any region where one geyser is found, others are liable to drop out. They ara really steam generated from subterranean water courses and belong to circumjacent vol canic formations. Often the ground around geysers ' consists of a white, clayey substance, Uka the cone of a geyser, and there are places where the hot water bubbles forth continuously. Iceland has long been associated In peo ple's minds with geysers, for around Mount Hecla are many that spout from 60 to y feet In the air. Geysers of New Zealand. Nor are geysers confined to any one locality. In New Zealand there are 'gey serous regions which seem like the very garden of the devil. In the Walkato Valley are places where the ground is covered with strange holes out of which ivrae hlsslrg sounds and In other direc tions are tremendous geysers sending rloucls of vapor a hundred or more feet l-i the air. The largest of these New Zealand geysers Is, Walrakel. which i.-upts as a rule every II minutes. In the five minutes that It la still on can advance to the edge and look Into the boiling caldron, but as soon as the hot air tegTns to arise it Is dangerous to remain within a radius of many rods. Tills geyser Is so Immense and terrible that t he natives attribute It to the evil one. an origin that ia not doubted by any who are unfortunate enough to get burnt by Its boiling water. The Maoris always shun the regions around these geysers and not until scientists visited tbem were they generally known. In fact, though reason and science tell us that geysers owe their existence to water which, after permeating through the earth's surface, has become heated by volcanic fires and that steam Is gen erated Ihatv with volcanic gas, rises to the surface and Is emitted as hot water. ;t takes a good deal of philosophy to onvlnce oneself that the phenomenon Is not uncanny and that the ground sur rounding a geyser is cot of fiendish know can't get along without them. But they must be big onee spotted, rings around them, and all that." "Gee!" says I. "Vally's snake tastes must be educated way up! . Guess you'll have to give In your order down at Lefty White's." "And where Is that?" says he. -Williams, near the bridge." says I. "Don't you know about Lefty's?" Well, he didn't: hadr't ever been below Tftif- it 1. XT Bun i -W V U .in "It's a blawsted shyme," says he. the bridge on the East Side In hia life; and wouldn't I please come along. If I could spare the time. So I climbs In alongside Purdy and the cane, and off we goes down town, at the rate of a dollar 'n' a half an hour. I hadn't got out more'n two questions 'fore Purdy cuts loose with the story of his life. "It's almost the same as asking me to choose my lot in the cemetery," saya he, "this notion of Aunt Isabella' for send ing me out to buy snakes." "I thought it was Valentine they was for?" says I. "Where does he come In?" That fetches us to Chapter One. wlilch begins with Aunt Isabella. It. seems that sometime back, after she'd planted one hubby in Ohio and another In Greenwood, and had pinned .'era both down secure with cut granite slabs, aunty had let her self go for another try. This time she gels an Englishman. He 'couldn't have been very tough, to begin with, for he didn't last long. Neither did a brother of his: although you couldn't lay that up on Isabella, as brother-in-law got himself run over by a train. About all he left was a couple of 14-year-old youngsters stranded In a boarding school. That was Purdy and Valentine, and they was only half brothers at that, with nobody that they could look up to for anything more substantial than sympathy. So It was up to the stepaunt to do the rescue act. Well. Isabella has accumulated all kinds of dough; but she figures out that the whole of one half-brother was about, all she wanted as a souvenir to take home from dear old England. She looks the two of 'em over for a day, tryin' to de cide which to take, and then Purdy'e 'lasses colored hair wins out against Val entine's brick dust bangs. She finds a Job for Vally. a place where he can almost earn a llvln', gives him a nice new prayer book and her blessln', and cuts him adrift I origin. In every locality where geysers are found are terraces and mud springs, for the steam contain certain Ingredients which it deposits on the surface. These chemicals make various formations and often color the water of nearby streams and lakes. Occasionally beds of dead geysers can be seen. At Banff. Alberta, Is a large cave, the floor of which to a still, hot pool. The vaulted roof over this pool has an aper ture Just large enough to admit a man's body. The supposition Is that this Is an extinct geyser. At some time before the recollection of man this great pool erupted and the hot steam blew out the top of the cavern, making the present opening. Somewhat the same phenom enon can be seen In Mexico, where a railroad thunders over a subterranean cavern called Choy Cave, which was once the bed of an active geyser. Wonders of Yellowstone. Undoubtedly the Yellowstone geysers, for welrdness and Interest can equal any yet known and the United States Is for tunate In possessing such wonders. The Government road in the park Is arranged almost In a circle and passes from one curious object to another, not the least of which are the geyser basins. 'The first glimpse of a geyser is at Norrls baxln. so called after the engineer who melted down the obsidian or glass moun tain side and then threw cold water on it to make a road of glass. In this basin, are hundreds of hot water pools, and the white-gray ground Is so filled with orifices through which sprays of water rise that one has to pick a way over for fear of getting burned. For many years an Immense geyser called the Black Growler held full sway here, until one Summer another geyser spouted forth, diminishing the force of the old geyser, though It made two phenomena in the place of on. - Many people Imagine that all the geysers 1n the parks are near each other, but it takes a half day's ride from Norrls Station to the next geyser basin, where are the Fountain and Clepsydra geysers, two of the most beautiful geysers known. The Fountain has no cone, but projects huge masses of water in spasmodic erup tions. It plays every four hours, and the water rises toward heaven for about IS minutes. Up in the air it looks like a beautiful mist against a background of blue, and when it returns to earth the four hours before another eruption seem long to wait. Beautiful as this Foun tain geyser is. It Is eclipsed by the Great Fountain, which Is a few miles away end plays to a height of a hundred feet, each time lasting 45 minutes. The trouble with this geyser Is that it Is erratic and one has often to wait many hours be tween eruptions, though It is supposed to erupt every nine hours. Time need not be wasted, however, for nearby are baby geysers and a most remarkable lake which emits a bluish flame caused by the gases from the heated caverns below, Lit Different Clocks. One of the odd things about geysers Is that they erupt at oifferent times and for different lengths when they are situated close together. The Giant geyser lasts In the fog. Then she grabs Purdy by the hand and catches the next boat for New York. From then on It's all to the downy for Purdy. barrln' the fact that the old girl's more or lees tryin' to the nerves. She buys herself a double-breasted house Just off the avenue, gives Purdy the best there Is goin", and encourages him to be as ladylike as he knows how. And say. what would you expect? I'd hate to think of what's I'd be now if I'd been brought up on a course of dancin' school, music les sons, and Fauntleroy suits. What else was there for Purdy to do but learn to drink tea with lemon In It and lead cotil lions? Aunt Isabella's been takln' on weight and losln' her bearin". When she gets so that she can't eat chicken naiad and Ice cream at 1 A. M. without remem berln' it for three days, and she has to buy pearls to splice out her necklace, and have an extra wide chair put In her op'ra box. she begins to sour on the merry merry life, scratches half the entries on her visitin' list, and Joins old lady socle ties that meet once a month In the after noon. "Of course," says Purdy, "I had no ob jection to all that. It was natural. Only after she began to bring Anastasla around, and hint very plainly what she expected me to do, I. began to get des perate." "Stashy wa'n't exactly your Idea of a pippin, eh?" rays I. That was what. Accordin' to Purdy's shorthand notes, Stashy was one of these square-chinned females that ought to be doln' a weight liftln" act with some tent show. But she wa'n't. She had too much out at lat'rest for that, and as she didn't go In for the light and frivolous she has to have something to keep her busy. So she starts out as a lady preventer. Get tin' up societies to prevent things was her fad. She splurges on 'em, from the kind that wants to put mufflers on steam boat whistles, to them that would like to button legglns on the statues of G. Wash. For all that, though, she thinks It's her duty to marry soma man and train him, and between her and Aunt Isabella they'd picked out Purdy for the victim. "While you'd gone and tagged some pink and white, milk-lined Daiey May?" says I. "I hadn't thought about getting married at all," says Purdy. "Then you might's well quit squirmin'," says I. "If you've got two of that kind plannin' out your future, there ain't any hope." Then we gets down to Valentine, the half-brother that has been cut loose. Just as Purdy has given It to aunty straight that he'd, rather drop out of two clubs and have his allowance cut In half, than tie up to any such tailor-made article as Anastasla, and right in the middle of Aunt Isabella's gettln' purple faced and puffy eyed over It, along comes a lengthy letter from Valentine. It ain't any hard luck wheeze, either. He's no hungry prod, Vally ain't. He's been doin' some tall cllmbin', all " these years that Purdy's been collectln' pearl stickpins and gold cigarette cases, and changln' his clothes four times a day. Vally has Jumped from one Job to anoth er, played things clear across the board and the ends against the middle, chased the pay envelope almost off the edge of the map. and finished somewhere on the east coast of Africa, where he bosses a couple of hundred colored gentlemen In the original package and makes easy money by bein' agent for a big firm of London lv'ry Importers. He'd been makln' a trip to headquarters with a cargo, and was on his way back to the lv'ry fields, when the notion struck him to stop off In New York and say howdy to Aunt Isa bella and Brother Purd. "And she hasn't talked about anything but Valentine since," says Purdy. "It's Vally's turn to be ft, eh?" says I. for three years when It begins to spout, but it has not erupted since 1S.SS. It has an Immense crater filled with boiling water. Into which people peer, hoping It will start again. Another unique geyser Is the Castle, so named from the immense formation built around it. Wrhen this erupts It spouts 200 feet straight toward heaven. It makes a beautiful spectacle when one Is far enough away to gaze without danger of being burnt. All around It are specimens of hydro-thermal activity, little geysers, called the Lion, Beehive and Cubs, whose pools are filling the air with white vapor and making the region seem enchanted. In one of these geysers a Chinaman washed his clothes until he was pre vented by the authorities when he se lected a defunct geyser and pitched his tent over It, expecting to use the warm water In the basin for a laundry. This worked excellently until one night the geyser erupted and the last seen of the Chinaman was his pigtail going toward heaven. It affords amusement to some people to throw bits of soap Into the geyser basins, for thewater bubbles tre mendously, but this has lately been pro hibited, for geysers are not to be treated lightly and an immature eruption Is not to be desired by the lookers-on. Probably the best-known and most-beloved geyser In the world is Old Faithful In the Yellowstone Park. Sermons have been preached about this manifestation of nature, poems written upon It and per sons have traveled many thousands of miles just to see this pure white cloud of vapor which rises every 20 minutes, prompt to the clock, and ascends over a hundred feet. For 20 years Old Faithful has never been known to fall and it looks down upon its erratic brother and sister geysers with a benign air that seems to say, "I will be faithful though others fail." Old Faithful. For aeons Innumerable Old Faithful has undoubtedly paid homage to the sun, moon and stars, an immaculate, inspiring and. restful sight. It Is great fun to pick one's way across the little biscuits or mounds of clay that stand in the rivu lets of water felt on the ground after the geyser erupts and look down Into the crater until a rumbling sound announces Old Faithful is about to erupt again. A scramble then ensues to get out of danger. There Is a story that a German savant was so determined that Old Faithful was a Yankee trick that after searching for an underground passage that might con tain electrical works and finding none he Insisted on camping out near the geyser until he was so severely burned that he spent three weeks in bed as reward for his curiosity. Two or three facts are noticed about all geysers. They seldom appear alone that is, several are found together and their basins range from a few Inches to many feet In diameter. The eruptions are preceded by a loud and continuous noise, and often the loudest commotion may come from one of the smallest geysers. In New Zealand and the Yel lowstone the spots so far best known In connection with these phenomena have strange lakes of many-hued waters, mud "You'd think so If you could hear them." says he. "Anastasla Is Just as en thusiastic." , N ,"Y(5u ain't gettln' jealous, are you?" says I. Purdy unr'eefs the sickliest kind of a grin you eversaw. "I was as pleased as anyone." says he, "until I found out the whole of Aunt Isabella's plan." . And say. It was a grand right and left that she'd framed up. Matin' Stashy up with Valentine Instead of Purdy was only part. Her Idea was to induce Vally to settle down with her. and ship Purdy off to look after the lv'ry Job. "Only fancy!" says Purdy. "It's a .place called Bombazoula! Why. you can't even find it on the chart. I'd die If I had to live In such a dreadful place." "Is It too late to get busy and hand out the hot air to Stashy?" says I. "Looks to me like It was either her or Bomba zoula for you." "Don't!" says Purdy. and he shivers like I'd slipped an Icicle down his back. Honest, he wag takln' It so hard I didn't have the heart to rub It in. "Maybe Valentine'll renig who knows?' says I. "He may be so stuck on Africa that she can't call him off." "Oh, Aunt Isabella has thought of that." ' ; 'if? ; v M .it : ; V f( ' 1 'ff : ' ' v rf; He's one of these band box chappies. says he. "She Is so provoked with me that she will do everything to make him want to stay; and If I remember Valen tine, he'll be willing. Besides, who would want to live in Africa when they could stop In New York? But I do think she might have sent some one else after those snakes." - "Oh, yes!" says I. "I'd clean forgot about them. "Where do they figure In this?" "Decoration," says Purdy. "In my old rooms, too!" Seems that Stashy and aunty had been reading up on Bombazoula. and they'd got It down fine. Then they turns to ritid lays themselves out to fix things up for- Valentine so homelike and comfort able that, even If he was ever so home sick for the Jungle like- he wrote he was; he wouldn't want to go any farther. First they'd got a lot of big rubber trees and palms and filled the rooms full of 'em, with the floors covered with stage grass, and half a dozen gray parrots to pools showing bubbling mud and paint pots. Occasionally a geyser will crop out in an unexpected place. There are two in the Yellowstone Park that are noteworthy in this respect. One Is by the side of a river. When it spouts it forms an arch over to the opposite bank and at sunset the sun strikes It so It is a veritable rain bow. The other queer geyser is In the Yellowstone Lake. Near the edge of this cold lake to a cone which rises above the water. A hot spring fills this cone and bo"s so close to the lake's edge that one can stand on the side of the cone, catch a fish in the lake, and without removing it from the hook, swing It on the line back of the catcher's head and cook It In the boiling water. Who Is It calls geysers "the sunburst of physical glory?"" They undoubtedly are. The Old Tillage Choir. Benjamin F. Taylor. I have fancied sometime the Bethel-bent beam . , That trembled to earth in the Patriarch s dream ... . Was a ladder of loin In that wilderness rest From the pillow of stone to the blue of the And the angels descending to dwell with us here. "Old Hundred" and "Corinth" and "China and Mear." All the hearts ars not dead nor under the sod . That those breaths can blow open to Heaven nd aod. Ah I "Silver Street" flows by a bright, shin ing road Oh! not the hymns that in harmony floweu. But the sweet human psalms of the old fashioned choir To th girl that sang alto, the girl that sang air. "Let us sin to God's pralss." the minister said All the psalm-books at once fluttered open at "York." Sunned their long dotted wings In the words that he read. While the leader leaped tnto the tune Just ahead. And politely picked up the keynote with a And 'the vicious old viol went growling At the0,heels of ths girls In the rear of the song. Oh' I need not a wing bid no genii come With a wonderful web of Arabian loom. . ) th river of Time. 1 o Dear me " " " - , V 7: : When the world was in rhythm and life was Its rhyme. And the streams of the years flowed so noiseless and narrow That acron it there floated ths song of a sparrow ; For a spring of green caraway carries me there. . ' To the old village church and the old vil lage choir. Where clear of the floor my feet slowly swung, ' And timed the sweet puUe of the praise that they sung. Till the glory aslant from the afternoon sun Beamed- the rafters of gold In God's temple begun. Tou may smile at the nasals of old Deacon Brown, Who followed by scent till he ran the tune down. And dear Sinter Green, with, more foojneii than grace, Rose and fell on the tunes as shs stood in her place. And where "Coronation" exultantly flows, -Tried to reach the high notea on the tips of her toes. To the land of the leal they have gone with their song. Where the choir and the chorus together belone;. Oh! be lifted, ye gates. Let me hear them aain. Blessed song, blessed singers, forever, amen. let loose. They'd even gone so far as to try to hire a couple of fake Zulus from a museum to come up and sing the moon rise song; so's Vally wouldn't be bothered about goln' to sleep nights. The snakes twlnln' around the rubber trees was to add the flnishln' touch. Course, they wanted the harmless kind, -that's had their stingers cut out; but snakea of some sort they'd just got to have, or else they knew it wouldn't seem like home to Val entine. "Just as though I cared whether he Is going to feel at home or not!" says Purdv. real pettish. "By Jove. Shorty! I've half a mind not to do It.; So there!" "Gee!" says I. "I wouldn't have your temper for anything. Shall we signal the driver to do a pivot and head her north?" "N-n-n-o." says Purdy, reluctant. And right there I gets a seventh son view of Aunt Isabella crackln' the check book at Purdy. and glvin' him the cold spine now and then by threatenln" to tear up the will. From that on I feels dif ferent towards him. He'd got to a point where It was either please Aunt Isabella or get out and hustle; and how to get hold of real money except by shovin' pink slips at the payin' teller was part of his education that had been left out. He was up against It for fair. "Say, Purdy," says I, "I don't want to Interfere In any family matters: but since you've put It up to me, let me get this chunk of advice off ray mind: Long's you've got to be nice to aunty or go on a snowball diet, I'd do It, and do it as cheerful as I could." Purdy thinks that over for a minute or so. Then he raps his cane on the rub ber mat, straightens up his shoulders, and says. "By Jove, I'll do it! Ill get the snakes!" That wa'n't so easy, though, as I'd thought. Lefty White says he's sorry, but he runs a mighty small stock of snakes in Winter. He's got a fine line of Spring goods on the way. though, and If we'll Just leave our order " "Ah. say. Lefty!" says I, "You give me shootln' paln3. Here I goes and cracks up your Joint as a first-class snakery. and all you can show. Is a few angleworms In bottles and a prospectus of what you'll have next month." "Stuffed ones wouldn't do, eh?" says he. "Why not?" says I. Purdy wa'n't sure, but he thought he'd take a chance on 'em; so we picked out three of the biggest and spottedest ones In the shop, and makes Lefty prom ise to get 'em up there early next fore noon, for Valentine was due to show up by dinner time next night. On the way back we talks It oyer some more, and I tries to chirk Purdy up all I could; for every time he thinks of Bombazoula he has a shlverin' lit that nearly knocks him out. "I could never stand it to go there," says he "never!" "Here, here! says I. "That's no way to meet a thing like this. What you Want to do is to chuck a bluff. Jump right Into this reception business with both feet and let on you're tickled to death with the prospect. Aunty won't take half the satisfaction In shunting you off to the monkey woods if she thinks you want to go." Beats all what a little encouragement will do for some folks. By the time Purdy drops me at the studio he's feel in' a whole lot better, and Is prepared to give Vally the long lost brother grip when he comes. But I was sorry for Purdy just the same. I could see him, over there at Bombazoula, in a suit of lavender pa jamas, tryin' to organize a cotillion with a lot of heavy-weight brunettes, wearln' brass rings in their noses and not much else. And all next day I kept wonderln' WHAT NEWSPAPER Appearances Were Deceitful. New York Times. "One day'down In Texas," said a civil engineer, "I was sitting on the porch of my hotel with a fresh youngster from the North. On his right sat a plain old man smoking a cob pipe with the kernels left on it. " 'Ye gods,' said my friend, 'what do you think of that for nerve. Sitting right up against a gentleman and puffing his old dope right in my face. Here, you, clear out with that pipe. Move clear over on the other side, so the smoke won't blow this way. You are making a nui sance of yourself." ' "'All right," said the old man, meekly. Til move.' "He did so., 'John,' said I, 'do you know who that old gentleman is you talked to like that.' " 'Nope, don't know and don't care.' " 'That Is the Governor of Texas.' It really was." " Faith In Oratory. Judge. - "I suppose, Uncle Jim, you remem ber a good deal about the politics of the early days?" "Well, I never tuk much Int'rest In pollytics, but I kin recollect when John C. Fremont was 'lected Presi dent." "Fremontl Why, Fremont was never elected." "He wun't? Well, now, that gits me. I heerd a leadin' speaker talk the night 'fore 'lection, an' he said if John C. Fremont wun't 'lected the country would fall to ruin an' everybody would have to shut up shop. Course, I didn't take the papers; but, notlcln' thet things went on 'bout the same as be fore, J calculated John won. So he wun't 'lected? Well, b'Jinks! thet gits me!" A Real Surprise Party. Everybody's Magazine. "Where are you goin', ma?" asked the youngest of the five children. "I'm going to a surprise party, my dear," answered the mother. "Are we, all goln', too?" "No, dear. You weren't Invited." After a few moments' deep thought. "8ay, ma. then don't you think they'd be lots more surprised if you did take us all?" - Perfectly Lovely. "Physical culture, father, is perfect ly lovely. To develop the arms I grasp this rod by one end and move it slow ly from right to left." "Well, well," exclaimed her father; "what won't science discover? If that rod had straw at the other end you'd be sweeping." Marrying a Shiftless JIan. Atchison Globe. Being married to a shiftless man, or a politician seems to develop great faculties for managing a woman. The wives of men who fail In business 1f Aunt Isabella's scheme was really go in' to pan. So. when Purdy rushes in about 4 o'clock and wants me to come up and take a look at the layout. I was Just .about ripe for goln' to see the show. "But I hope we can shy aunty." says I. "Sometimes I get along with J;hese old battleaxes first rate, and then again I don't; and what little reputation you got left at home I don't want to queer." f . ! I . 4 vtlrVul ': it hmw Ml iliWP I ft i J y i 1 :JHiiiIZ She begins to sour on the merry-merry life. 1 "Oh, that will be "all right," cays Purdy. "She has heard of you from Pinkney.. and she knows about how you helped me to get the snakes." "Did they fit In?" says I. "Come up and see," says Purdy. And it was worth the trip. Just to get a view of them rooms. Nobody but a batty old woman would have ever though up so many Jungle stunts for the second floor of a brownstone front. "There:"-.says Purdy. "Isn't that trop ical enough?'.' I took a long look. "Well, says I, "I've never been farther south than Old Point, but I've seen such things pictured out before now, and If I'm any Judge, this throws up a section of the cannibal belt to the life." It did. too. They had the dark shades pulled down, and the light was kind of dim: but you could see that the place was chock full of ferns and palms and such. The parrots were hoppin' around and you could hear water runnln' some wheres, and they'd trained them spot ted snakes around the rubber trees Just as natural as If they'd crawled up there by themselves. While we was . lookln' Aunt Isabella comes puffin' up the stairs. "Isn't it Just charming, Mr. McCabe?" says she. holdtn' a hand up behind one ear. "I can hardly wait for dear Val entine to come, I'm so anxious to see how pleased he'll be. He Just dotes on jungle life. The dear boy! You must come up and take tea with him some afternoon. I ie's a very shy, diffident lit tle chap; but " At that the door bell starts rlngln' like the house was afire, and bang! goes some one's fist on the outside panel. Course, we all chases down stairs to see what's broke loose; but before we gets to the front hall the butler has the door oien. and In pushes a husky, red-whis or run for office, become noted. If they are given a chance, for their ability and thrift in running things. Ills Beautiful Dream. Puck. Hobo Durin' yer afternoon nap, Wil lie, you wuz smilln' an' cooin' like a t'ree-mont's-old baby. His Pal No wonder! I wuz dreamin' I had a job as demonstrator fer a brew, 'ry! Before and After Taking. Atchison Globe. Talking with some men Is like read ing a patent medicitie almanac: Thoy make you think that everything is the matter with you. A Son All Kight. Yonkers Statesman. Bill Did you say that fellow is a brawny son of toll? Jill Yes; his father does the tolling. It Was the Woman, Etc. Atchison Globe. Every man has at aome time In his LAST OF KIT C ARSON'S TRAPPERS (Continued of our northern trapping expeditions he fell in with the Crows, who were delighted to have white men among them, for the reason that a white man could shoot down many buffaloes during a hunt, while sometimes an Indian would shoot 20 ar rows into one of the animals before bring ing it to the ground. "Beckwourth and the Crows became so friendly that he stayed with them, and became their chief. He was a great war rior and led them to victory against other tribes. He was virtually an Indian for many years, and had three children by a squaw. These children I saw on one of my last northern trapping expe ditions. Jim and Kit, two of the boys, were with the Bannock Indians, and Pan ther, the third, who was a perfect dare devil, was a sub-chief of the Brule Sioux. Beckwourth finally went back to civiliza tion, and was poisoned a few years later when he went back to visit the Crows. The Indians had been having hard luck since Beckwourth left them. They had been decimated by smallpox, and had lost many engagements with Cheyennes, Sioux and Blackfeet, and they wanted Beck wourth to come back and lead them to victory again. But he refused, and, rather than let him go back to the white people, they poisoned him." In 1856, while Mr. Wiggins was at Fort Bridger, an Easterner named Johnson ar rived at that outpost and said .he wanted to l?arn how to trap. Brldger turned him over to Wiggins. Accompanied by three Delaware and two Shoshone Indians the two white men struck south into Colorado, then an unexplored country. They trapped kered party, wearin' a cloth cap a belte4 ulster with four checks to the square yard, and carryuV an extension leather bag about the size of a small trunk, with labels pasted all over it. "It's a blawsted shyme. that's w at it Is!" savs he "me p'yin' 'alf a bob for a two shillin' drive! These cabbies of your Is a set of bloomink 'lw'ymen!" "What name, sir?" says the butlen "Nlme!" roars the whiskered gent. "I'm Valentine, that's who I am! Tak9 the luggage, you shiverln' pie face." "Oh. Valentine!" squeals Aunt Isa bella, makin' a rush at him with her arms out. "Sheer off. aunty!" says he. "Cut out the bally tommyrot and let me 'ave a wash. And. sye, send some begger for the brandy and soda. Where's me rooms?" . . "I'll show you up, Valentine," chips in Purdy. "Ello! 'O's the little man?" says Vally. "Blow me if It oln't Purdy! Trot along up. Purdy, lad, and show me the digs. Say. he was a bird. Vally was. Ha talks like a Cockney, acts like a bounder and looks 'em both. Aunt Isabella has dropped on the hall seat, gaspln" for breath, the butler Is leanln' against the wall with his mouth open; so I grabs ths bag and starts up after the half-brothers. Just by the peachblow tint of Vally's nose I got the Idea that maybe the most entertalnln' part of this whole programme was billed to take place on the second floor. "Here you are." says Purdy, swlngln' open the door and shovin' him In. "Aunt Isabella has fixed things up homelike for you, you see." "And here's your - trunk." ' says I. "Make yourself to home," and I shuts him in to enjoy himself In his new home. It took Valentine just about 20 sec onds to size up the interior decorations; for Purdy'd turned on the Incandescents so's to give him a good view, and rlist had stirred up the parrots some. What I was waltin' for was for him to dis cover the spotted snakes. I didn't think he could miss 'em, for they was mighty prominent. Nor he didn't. It wasn't only us heard it, but everyone else on the block. "Wow:'' says he. "Elp! Elp! Lemma out! I'me bein' killed!" That was Valentine, bellerln' enough to take the roof off. and clawln'- around for the doorknob on the Inside. He comes out as If he'd been shot through a chute, his eyes stlckln' out like a couple of peeled onions, and a gray par rot hang-In' to one ear. "What's the trouble?" says Purdy. "B-r-r!" says Valentine, like a clog ged steam whistle. "Where's the neatest 'orspital? I'm a sick man! H-r-r-r!" With that he starts down the stairs, takln' three at a time, bolts through Hit front door, and makes a dash down the street, yellln' like a kid when a tire breaks out. Purdy and me didn't have any time to watch how far he went, for Aunt Isa bella had keeled over on the rug. and the maid was havin" a At in the parlor, and the butler was fannln' himself with the 'card tray. We had to use up all the al cohol and smellln' salts In the house he fore we could bring the bunch around. When, aunty's so she can hold her head up and open her eyes, she looks about cautious and whispers: "Has has he gone, Purdy, dear?" Purdy says he has. , "Then." she says to me, "bolt that door, and never mention his name to me again." Everything's lovely now. Purdy's back to the downy, and Bombazoula'a wiped off the map for good. And say! If you're lookln' for a set of jungle scenery and stnffed snakes. I know where you can get a Job lot for the askin'. WITS SAY life, tried to make a collection of old coins, but had his career Interrupted by his wife, who used to get at them when she needed money. AH the Same to Him. Chicago News. "Aren't you glad to see a change In the weather?" queried the optimist. "Oh, not necessarily," rejoined ths pessimist "One might as well worry about one kind of weather as another." Life as a Railroad Train. Atchison Globe. Life mny be compared to traveling on a railroad train and running the risk of accidents. But If there are no acci dents, you finally reach the station whers all get off. A 6hock. Indianapolis News. Once In a while it comes with M great shock to a girl to find out that a man never notices the difference between a 49-cent shirtwaist and one that cost J27.85. From Page 5) along White River and followed that stream to its source. Here they found a beautiful lake, which Johnson wanted to call Wiggins Lake, and which Wiggins wanted to call Johnson Lake. So they compromised and called it Trappers' Lake, by which name it Is known today. Here the party stayed two years, finding all the small streams emptying Into ths lake alive with beaver. Satisfied with his experience, Johnson and the Shoshone? returned to Fort Brldger, while Wlgnini and the Delawares made their way over the main range of the Rockies and came out on the plains at the South Platte, the site of the Denver of today. There was no Indication of any settlement on the site of Denver then, but Mr. Wiggins re- ' calls that the point was a favorite gath ering place for all tribes. Here trie In dians met and ran their horses and played games. There was a saying that wher ever the Indians met for such purpose a great city would arise, and this prediction was fulfilled in Denver's case. Today Mr. Wiggins is tall and straight as a pine tree. His lean, wiry frame shows no sign of the tremendous hard ships it has endured. Up to a few months ago he was bailiff in a Denver court, but the sudden failure of his eye sight caused him to abandon active work. He Is famed throughout the West as a weather prophet, having learned many of Nature's weather signals from the In dians andfrom the creatures of the wild. Gentle of "manner, refined of speech, and retaining the straightforward simplicity of the born frontiersman, this "last leaf" speaks well for the breed of men of the old trapping days.
