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7
THE SUNDAY OREGOMAS, rOKTLAM), AUGUST 2, 1303
1
II PROFESSOR dfefQISTY fizjatjd& An jrc:j:nEir ksufzizovniii& two jmz I
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MAYBE I was tellln' you something
about them two rockln- chair com
modores from the yacht club, that
I've rot on my reg-lar list? They're some
of Plnckney's crowd, you know, and
that's Just as good as sayln they're more
ornamental than useful. Anyway, that
description's a close fit for Purdy.
First off I couldn't stand for Purdy at
ail. He's one of these natty, bandbox
chappies, with straw-colored hair slicked
down as smooth as if he's just come up
from a dive, and a costume that looks as
if It might have been copied from a
stained glass window, you've seen them
hemale symphonies In grays and browns,
with everything matched up. from the
shirt studs to the shoe buttons? Now,
I don't mind a man s bein' a swell dresser
I've got a few hot vests myself but this
tryin' to be a Mr. Fastelle Is runnln' the
thing Into the ground.
Purdy could stand all the Improvln' the
tailor could hand him, though. His eyes
were popped Just enough to give him a
continual surprised look, and there was
more or less of his face laid out In nose.
Course, he wa'n't to blame for that; but
Just the same, when he gets to comin' to
the studio twice a week for glove work
and the chest weights. I passes him over
to Swlfty Joe. Honest, I couldn't trust
mys-lf to hit around that nose proper.
Put Swlfty uses him right. Them clothes
of Purdy's had got Swlfty go!n and he
wouldn't have mussed him for a farm.
After I'd got used to seein' Purdy
around, I dln't mind him so nyieh myself.
He seemed to be a wel! meanln', quiet,
sisterly sort of a duck, one of. the kind
thst fills In the corners at afternoon teas,
snd wears out three pairs of pumps every
Winter leadln cotillions. You'll see his
name flsurin1 In the society notes: how
Mrs. Burgess Jones gave a dinner dance
at Sherry's for the younger set. and the
cotillion was led by Mr. Purdy Bligh.
Say. how's that as a steady Job for a
grown man; eh?
Put so Ion as I'm treated square by
anyone, and they don't try to throw any
lugs around where I am, I don't feel any
call to lot 'em in on my private thoughts.
So Purdy and me gets along first rate;
snd the next thing I know he's callln' me
Phorty. and bein' as glad to see me when
lie comes In as if I was one of his old
p.-ils. How you goln' to dodge a thing of
that kind? And then, 'fore I knows what's
omln". I'm rtelit in the middle of this
Bombazoula business.
It wa'n't anything I butted Into on pur
pose, now you can take that straight. It
was this way: I was doln' my reg'lar
afternoon stroll up the avenue, not payin
much attention to anything in particular.
whn a cab pulls up at the curb, and I
looks around, to see Purdy leanln' over
the apron and makln' motions at me with
hta cane.
"Hello!" says I. "Have they got you
strapped In o you can't get out?"
"By Jove!" says he, 'I never thought of
Jumping out. you know. Beg pardon, old
man. for hailing .you in that fashion,
hut " .
'Tut It!" says I. "I ain't so proud as
all that. What's doln'?"
"It's rather a rummy go."' says he;
"but where can I buy some snakes?"
"That-s rum mv. all right," eays I.
"Have you tried sendin" him to an Insti
tute?" "Sending who?" says he.
"Oh!'' says I. "1 figured this was a
' snake cure, throwin' a scare into some
body, that you was plannin'."
"Oh. dear, no." says Purdy. "They're
for Valentine. He's fond of snakes, you
STRANGENATURALPHENOMENA
WHICH WERE OXCE ATTR1BITED TO THE EVIL O.NE '
THE discovery of a new geyser every
now and then in the Y'ellowstone
Park suggests that it has not been
so many years since this wonderful area
was known and even now there are few
persons who are familiar with Its area.
Probably the first white man to see an
American geyser was John Colter. On
h return from the Pacific Coast, where
h went with the lwls and Clark ex
pedition, he went through the park, but
he loft little record of what he saw. In
1M2 an article describing the geysers was
printed In the Western Literary Maga
zine of Buffalo, N. Y., and copied Into
a Mormon paper of Nauvoo. 111., but It
did not create much stir, and though a
f-w guides and explorers knew of it be
fore the Civil W"ar It was not until 1ST0
that Its wonders became generally known.
Then a party of men from Montana un
der General H. D. Washburn made a
tour of the arena and published a re
port of the wonderful geysers. This party
was accompanied by cavalrymen, for they
expected to meet hostile Indians, and In
reality undertook a dangerous Journey.
Though geysers are - such wonderful
phenomena that one never ceases to be
amazed at them, the fact Is that In any
region where one geyser is found, others
are liable to drop out. They ara really
steam generated from subterranean water
courses and belong to circumjacent vol
canic formations. Often the ground
around geysers ' consists of a white,
clayey substance, Uka the cone of a
geyser, and there are places where the
hot water bubbles forth continuously.
Iceland has long been associated In peo
ple's minds with geysers, for around
Mount Hecla are many that spout from
60 to y feet In the air.
Geysers of New Zealand.
Nor are geysers confined to any one
locality. In New Zealand there are 'gey
serous regions which seem like the very
garden of the devil. In the Walkato
Valley are places where the ground is
covered with strange holes out of which
ivrae hlsslrg sounds and In other direc
tions are tremendous geysers sending
rloucls of vapor a hundred or more feet
l-i the air. The largest of these New
Zealand geysers Is, Walrakel. which
i.-upts as a rule every II minutes. In
the five minutes that It la still on can
advance to the edge and look Into the
boiling caldron, but as soon as the hot
air tegTns to arise it Is dangerous to
remain within a radius of many rods.
Tills geyser Is so Immense and terrible
that t he natives attribute It to the evil
one. an origin that ia not doubted by any
who are unfortunate enough to get burnt
by Its boiling water. The Maoris always
shun the regions around these geysers
and not until scientists visited tbem were
they generally known.
In fact, though reason and science tell
us that geysers owe their existence to
water which, after permeating through
the earth's surface, has become heated
by volcanic fires and that steam Is gen
erated Ihatv with volcanic gas, rises to
the surface and Is emitted as hot water.
;t takes a good deal of philosophy to
onvlnce oneself that the phenomenon
Is not uncanny and that the ground sur
rounding a geyser is cot of fiendish
know can't get along without them. But
they must be big onee spotted, rings
around them, and all that."
"Gee!" says I. "Vally's snake tastes
must be educated way up! . Guess you'll
have to give In your order down at Lefty
White's."
"And where Is that?" says he.
-Williams, near the bridge." says I.
"Don't you know about Lefty's?"
Well, he didn't: hadr't ever been below
Tftif- it 1. XT
Bun i -W
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"It's a blawsted shyme," says he.
the bridge on the East Side In hia life;
and wouldn't I please come along. If I
could spare the time.
So I climbs In alongside Purdy and the
cane, and off we goes down town, at the
rate of a dollar 'n' a half an hour. I
hadn't got out more'n two questions 'fore
Purdy cuts loose with the story of his life.
"It's almost the same as asking me to
choose my lot in the cemetery," saya he,
"this notion of Aunt Isabella' for send
ing me out to buy snakes."
"I thought it was Valentine they was
for?" says I. "Where does he come In?"
That fetches us to Chapter One. wlilch
begins with Aunt Isabella. It. seems that
sometime back, after she'd planted one
hubby in Ohio and another In Greenwood,
and had pinned .'era both down secure
with cut granite slabs, aunty had let her
self go for another try. This time she
gels an Englishman. He 'couldn't have
been very tough, to begin with, for he
didn't last long. Neither did a brother of
his: although you couldn't lay that up on
Isabella, as brother-in-law got himself
run over by a train. About all he left
was a couple of 14-year-old youngsters
stranded In a boarding school. That was
Purdy and Valentine, and they was only
half brothers at that, with nobody that
they could look up to for anything more
substantial than sympathy. So It was up
to the stepaunt to do the rescue act.
Well. Isabella has accumulated all kinds
of dough; but she figures out that the
whole of one half-brother was about, all
she wanted as a souvenir to take home
from dear old England. She looks the
two of 'em over for a day, tryin' to de
cide which to take, and then Purdy'e
'lasses colored hair wins out against Val
entine's brick dust bangs. She finds a Job
for Vally. a place where he can almost
earn a llvln', gives him a nice new prayer
book and her blessln', and cuts him adrift
I origin. In every locality where geysers
are found are terraces and mud springs,
for the steam contain certain Ingredients
which it deposits on the surface. These
chemicals make various formations and
often color the water of nearby streams
and lakes. Occasionally beds of dead
geysers can be seen.
At Banff. Alberta, Is a large cave, the
floor of which to a still, hot pool. The
vaulted roof over this pool has an aper
ture Just large enough to admit a man's
body. The supposition Is that this Is an
extinct geyser. At some time before the
recollection of man this great pool
erupted and the hot steam blew out the
top of the cavern, making the present
opening. Somewhat the same phenom
enon can be seen In Mexico, where a
railroad thunders over a subterranean
cavern called Choy Cave, which was
once the bed of an active geyser.
Wonders of Yellowstone.
Undoubtedly the Yellowstone geysers,
for welrdness and Interest can equal any
yet known and the United States Is for
tunate In possessing such wonders. The
Government road in the park Is arranged
almost In a circle and passes from one
curious object to another, not the least
of which are the geyser basins. 'The
first glimpse of a geyser is at Norrls
baxln. so called after the engineer who
melted down the obsidian or glass moun
tain side and then threw cold water on
it to make a road of glass. In this basin,
are hundreds of hot water pools, and
the white-gray ground Is so filled with
orifices through which sprays of water
rise that one has to pick a way over for
fear of getting burned. For many years
an Immense geyser called the Black
Growler held full sway here, until one
Summer another geyser spouted forth,
diminishing the force of the old geyser,
though It made two phenomena in the
place of on. -
Many people Imagine that all the
geysers 1n the parks are near each other,
but it takes a half day's ride from Norrls
Station to the next geyser basin, where
are the Fountain and Clepsydra geysers,
two of the most beautiful geysers known.
The Fountain has no cone, but projects
huge masses of water in spasmodic erup
tions. It plays every four hours, and the
water rises toward heaven for about IS
minutes. Up in the air it looks like a
beautiful mist against a background of
blue, and when it returns to earth the
four hours before another eruption seem
long to wait. Beautiful as this Foun
tain geyser is. It Is eclipsed by the Great
Fountain, which Is a few miles away
end plays to a height of a hundred feet,
each time lasting 45 minutes. The trouble
with this geyser Is that it Is erratic and
one has often to wait many hours be
tween eruptions, though It is supposed to
erupt every nine hours. Time need not
be wasted, however, for nearby are baby
geysers and a most remarkable lake which
emits a bluish flame caused by the gases
from the heated caverns below,
Lit Different Clocks.
One of the odd things about geysers Is
that they erupt at oifferent times and for
different lengths when they are situated
close together. The Giant geyser lasts
In the fog. Then she grabs Purdy by the
hand and catches the next boat for New
York.
From then on It's all to the downy for
Purdy. barrln' the fact that the old girl's
more or lees tryin' to the nerves. She
buys herself a double-breasted house Just
off the avenue, gives Purdy the best there
Is goin", and encourages him to be as
ladylike as he knows how. And say. what
would you expect? I'd hate to think of
what's I'd be now if I'd been brought up
on a course of dancin' school, music les
sons, and Fauntleroy suits. What else
was there for Purdy to do but learn to
drink tea with lemon In It and lead cotil
lions? Aunt Isabella's been takln' on
weight and losln' her bearin". When she
gets so that she can't eat chicken naiad
and Ice cream at 1 A. M. without remem
berln' it for three days, and she has to
buy pearls to splice out her necklace, and
have an extra wide chair put In her op'ra
box. she begins to sour on the merry
merry life, scratches half the entries on
her visitin' list, and Joins old lady socle
ties that meet once a month In the after
noon. "Of course," says Purdy, "I had no ob
jection to all that. It was natural. Only
after she began to bring Anastasla
around, and hint very plainly what she
expected me to do, I. began to get des
perate." "Stashy wa'n't exactly your Idea of a
pippin, eh?" rays I.
That was what. Accordin' to Purdy's
shorthand notes, Stashy was one of these
square-chinned females that ought to be
doln' a weight liftln" act with some tent
show. But she wa'n't. She had too much
out at lat'rest for that, and as she didn't
go In for the light and frivolous she has
to have something to keep her busy. So
she starts out as a lady preventer. Get
tin' up societies to prevent things was
her fad. She splurges on 'em, from the
kind that wants to put mufflers on steam
boat whistles, to them that would like to
button legglns on the statues of G. Wash.
For all that, though, she thinks It's her
duty to marry soma man and train him,
and between her and Aunt Isabella they'd
picked out Purdy for the victim.
"While you'd gone and tagged some
pink and white, milk-lined Daiey May?"
says I.
"I hadn't thought about getting married
at all," says Purdy.
"Then you might's well quit squirmin',"
says I. "If you've got two of that kind
plannin' out your future, there ain't any
hope."
Then we gets down to Valentine, the
half-brother that has been cut loose. Just
as Purdy has given It to aunty straight
that he'd, rather drop out of two clubs and
have his allowance cut In half, than tie
up to any such tailor-made article as
Anastasla, and right in the middle of
Aunt Isabella's gettln' purple faced and
puffy eyed over It, along comes a lengthy
letter from Valentine.
It ain't any hard luck wheeze, either.
He's no hungry prod, Vally ain't. He's
been doin' some tall cllmbin', all " these
years that Purdy's been collectln' pearl
stickpins and gold cigarette cases, and
changln' his clothes four times a day.
Vally has Jumped from one Job to anoth
er, played things clear across the board
and the ends against the middle, chased
the pay envelope almost off the edge of
the map. and finished somewhere on the
east coast of Africa, where he bosses a
couple of hundred colored gentlemen In
the original package and makes easy
money by bein' agent for a big firm of
London lv'ry Importers. He'd been makln'
a trip to headquarters with a cargo, and
was on his way back to the lv'ry fields,
when the notion struck him to stop off In
New York and say howdy to Aunt Isa
bella and Brother Purd.
"And she hasn't talked about anything
but Valentine since," says Purdy.
"It's Vally's turn to be ft, eh?" says I.
for three years when It begins to spout,
but it has not erupted since 1S.SS. It has
an Immense crater filled with boiling
water. Into which people peer, hoping It
will start again. Another unique geyser
Is the Castle, so named from the immense
formation built around it. Wrhen this
erupts It spouts 200 feet straight toward
heaven. It makes a beautiful spectacle
when one Is far enough away to gaze
without danger of being burnt. All around
It are specimens of hydro-thermal activity,
little geysers, called the Lion, Beehive
and Cubs, whose pools are filling the air
with white vapor and making the region
seem enchanted.
In one of these geysers a Chinaman
washed his clothes until he was pre
vented by the authorities when he se
lected a defunct geyser and pitched his
tent over It, expecting to use the warm
water In the basin for a laundry. This
worked excellently until one night the
geyser erupted and the last seen of the
Chinaman was his pigtail going toward
heaven. It affords amusement to some
people to throw bits of soap Into the
geyser basins, for thewater bubbles tre
mendously, but this has lately been pro
hibited, for geysers are not to be treated
lightly and an immature eruption Is not
to be desired by the lookers-on.
Probably the best-known and most-beloved
geyser In the world is Old Faithful
In the Yellowstone Park. Sermons have
been preached about this manifestation of
nature, poems written upon It and per
sons have traveled many thousands of
miles just to see this pure white cloud
of vapor which rises every 20 minutes,
prompt to the clock, and ascends over a
hundred feet. For 20 years Old Faithful
has never been known to fall and it looks
down upon its erratic brother and sister
geysers with a benign air that seems to
say, "I will be faithful though others
fail."
Old Faithful.
For aeons Innumerable Old Faithful has
undoubtedly paid homage to the sun,
moon and stars, an immaculate, inspiring
and. restful sight. It Is great fun to
pick one's way across the little biscuits
or mounds of clay that stand in the rivu
lets of water felt on the ground after the
geyser erupts and look down Into the
crater until a rumbling sound announces
Old Faithful is about to erupt again. A
scramble then ensues to get out of danger.
There Is a story that a German savant
was so determined that Old Faithful was
a Yankee trick that after searching for
an underground passage that might con
tain electrical works and finding none he
Insisted on camping out near the geyser
until he was so severely burned that he
spent three weeks in bed as reward for
his curiosity.
Two or three facts are noticed about
all geysers. They seldom appear alone
that is, several are found together and
their basins range from a few Inches to
many feet In diameter. The eruptions
are preceded by a loud and continuous
noise, and often the loudest commotion
may come from one of the smallest
geysers. In New Zealand and the Yel
lowstone the spots so far best known In
connection with these phenomena have
strange lakes of many-hued waters, mud
"You'd think so If you could hear
them." says he. "Anastasla Is Just as en
thusiastic." , N
,"Y(5u ain't gettln' jealous, are you?"
says I.
Purdy unr'eefs the sickliest kind of a
grin you eversaw. "I was as pleased as
anyone." says he, "until I found out the
whole of Aunt Isabella's plan." .
And say. It was a grand right and left
that she'd framed up. Matin' Stashy up
with Valentine Instead of Purdy was only
part. Her Idea was to induce Vally to
settle down with her. and ship Purdy off
to look after the lv'ry Job.
"Only fancy!" says Purdy. "It's a .place
called Bombazoula! Why. you can't even
find it on the chart. I'd die If I had to
live In such a dreadful place."
"Is It too late to get busy and hand out
the hot air to Stashy?" says I. "Looks
to me like It was either her or Bomba
zoula for you."
"Don't!" says Purdy. and he shivers
like I'd slipped an Icicle down his back.
Honest, he wag takln' It so hard I didn't
have the heart to rub It in.
"Maybe Valentine'll renig who knows?'
says I. "He may be so stuck on Africa
that she can't call him off."
"Oh, Aunt Isabella has thought of that."
' ; 'if?
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He's one of these band box chappies.
says he. "She Is so provoked with me
that she will do everything to make him
want to stay; and If I remember Valen
tine, he'll be willing. Besides, who would
want to live in Africa when they could
stop In New York? But I do think she
might have sent some one else after those
snakes." -
"Oh, yes!" says I. "I'd clean forgot
about them. "Where do they figure In
this?"
"Decoration," says Purdy. "In my old
rooms, too!"
Seems that Stashy and aunty had been
reading up on Bombazoula. and they'd
got It down fine. Then they turns to
ritid lays themselves out to fix things up
for- Valentine so homelike and comfort
able that, even If he was ever so home
sick for the Jungle like- he wrote he was;
he wouldn't want to go any farther.
First they'd got a lot of big rubber
trees and palms and filled the rooms full
of 'em, with the floors covered with stage
grass, and half a dozen gray parrots to
pools showing bubbling mud and paint
pots.
Occasionally a geyser will crop out in
an unexpected place. There are two in
the Yellowstone Park that are noteworthy
in this respect. One Is by the side of a
river. When it spouts it forms an arch
over to the opposite bank and at sunset
the sun strikes It so It is a veritable rain
bow. The other queer geyser is In the
Yellowstone Lake. Near the edge of this
cold lake to a cone which rises above
the water. A hot spring fills this cone
and bo"s so close to the lake's edge that
one can stand on the side of the cone,
catch a fish in the lake, and without
removing it from the hook, swing It on
the line back of the catcher's head and
cook It In the boiling water. Who Is It
calls geysers "the sunburst of physical
glory?"" They undoubtedly are.
The Old Tillage Choir.
Benjamin F. Taylor.
I have fancied sometime the Bethel-bent
beam . ,
That trembled to earth in the Patriarch s
dream ... .
Was a ladder of loin In that wilderness rest
From the pillow of stone to the blue of the
And the angels descending to dwell with
us here.
"Old Hundred" and "Corinth" and "China
and Mear."
All the hearts ars not dead nor under the
sod .
That those breaths can blow open to Heaven
nd aod.
Ah I "Silver Street" flows by a bright, shin
ing road
Oh! not the hymns that in harmony floweu.
But the sweet human psalms of the old
fashioned choir
To th girl that sang alto, the girl that
sang air.
"Let us sin to God's pralss." the minister
said
All the psalm-books at once fluttered open
at "York."
Sunned their long dotted wings In the words
that he read.
While the leader leaped tnto the tune Just
ahead.
And politely picked up the keynote with a
And 'the vicious old viol went growling
At the0,heels of ths girls In the rear of
the song.
Oh' I need not a wing bid no genii come
With a wonderful web of Arabian loom.
. ) th river of Time.
1 o Dear me " " " - , V 7: :
When the world was in rhythm and life
was Its rhyme.
And the streams of the years flowed so
noiseless and narrow
That acron it there floated ths song of a
sparrow ;
For a spring of green caraway carries me
there. . '
To the old village church and the old vil
lage choir.
Where clear of the floor my feet slowly
swung, '
And timed the sweet puUe of the praise
that they sung.
Till the glory aslant from the afternoon sun
Beamed- the rafters of gold In God's temple
begun.
Tou may smile at the nasals of old Deacon
Brown,
Who followed by scent till he ran the tune
down.
And dear Sinter Green, with, more foojneii
than grace,
Rose and fell on the tunes as shs stood in
her place.
And where "Coronation" exultantly flows, -Tried
to reach the high notea on the tips
of her toes.
To the land of the leal they have gone with
their song.
Where the choir and the chorus together
belone;.
Oh! be lifted, ye gates. Let me hear them
aain.
Blessed song, blessed singers, forever, amen.
let loose. They'd even gone so far as to
try to hire a couple of fake Zulus from a
museum to come up and sing the moon
rise song; so's Vally wouldn't be bothered
about goln' to sleep nights. The snakes
twlnln' around the rubber trees was to
add the flnishln' touch. Course, they
wanted the harmless kind, -that's had
their stingers cut out; but snakea of some
sort they'd just got to have, or else they
knew it wouldn't seem like home to Val
entine. "Just as though I cared whether he Is
going to feel at home or not!" says
Purdv. real pettish. "By Jove. Shorty!
I've half a mind not to do It.; So there!"
"Gee!" says I. "I wouldn't have your
temper for anything. Shall we signal
the driver to do a pivot and head her
north?"
"N-n-n-o." says Purdy, reluctant.
And right there I gets a seventh son
view of Aunt Isabella crackln' the check
book at Purdy. and glvin' him the cold
spine now and then by threatenln" to tear
up the will. From that on I feels dif
ferent towards him. He'd got to a point
where It was either please Aunt Isabella
or get out and hustle; and how to get
hold of real money except by shovin'
pink slips at the payin' teller was part
of his education that had been left out.
He was up against It for fair.
"Say, Purdy," says I, "I don't want
to Interfere In any family matters: but
since you've put It up to me, let me
get this chunk of advice off ray mind:
Long's you've got to be nice to aunty or
go on a snowball diet, I'd do It, and do it
as cheerful as I could."
Purdy thinks that over for a minute or
so. Then he raps his cane on the rub
ber mat, straightens up his shoulders,
and says. "By Jove, I'll do it! Ill get
the snakes!"
That wa'n't so easy, though, as I'd
thought. Lefty White says he's sorry,
but he runs a mighty small stock of
snakes in Winter. He's got a fine line
of Spring goods on the way. though, and
If we'll Just leave our order "
"Ah. say. Lefty!" says I, "You give
me shootln' paln3. Here I goes and
cracks up your Joint as a first-class
snakery. and all you can show. Is a few
angleworms In bottles and a prospectus
of what you'll have next month."
"Stuffed ones wouldn't do, eh?" says
he.
"Why not?" says I.
Purdy wa'n't sure, but he thought
he'd take a chance on 'em; so we picked
out three of the biggest and spottedest
ones In the shop, and makes Lefty prom
ise to get 'em up there early next fore
noon, for Valentine was due to show up
by dinner time next night.
On the way back we talks It oyer some
more, and I tries to chirk Purdy up all
I could; for every time he thinks of
Bombazoula he has a shlverin' lit that
nearly knocks him out.
"I could never stand it to go there,"
says he "never!"
"Here, here! says I. "That's no way
to meet a thing like this. What you
Want to do is to chuck a bluff. Jump
right Into this reception business with
both feet and let on you're tickled to
death with the prospect. Aunty won't
take half the satisfaction In shunting
you off to the monkey woods if she
thinks you want to go."
Beats all what a little encouragement
will do for some folks. By the time
Purdy drops me at the studio he's feel
in' a whole lot better, and Is prepared
to give Vally the long lost brother grip
when he comes.
But I was sorry for Purdy just the
same. I could see him, over there at
Bombazoula, in a suit of lavender pa
jamas, tryin' to organize a cotillion with
a lot of heavy-weight brunettes, wearln'
brass rings in their noses and not much
else. And all next day I kept wonderln'
WHAT NEWSPAPER
Appearances Were Deceitful.
New York Times.
"One day'down In Texas," said a civil
engineer, "I was sitting on the porch
of my hotel with a fresh youngster from
the North. On his right sat a plain old
man smoking a cob pipe with the kernels
left on it.
" 'Ye gods,' said my friend, 'what do
you think of that for nerve. Sitting right
up against a gentleman and puffing his
old dope right in my face. Here, you,
clear out with that pipe. Move clear over
on the other side, so the smoke won't
blow this way. You are making a nui
sance of yourself." '
"'All right," said the old man, meekly.
Til move.'
"He did so., 'John,' said I, 'do you
know who that old gentleman is you
talked to like that.'
" 'Nope, don't know and don't care.'
" 'That Is the Governor of Texas.' It
really was." "
Faith In Oratory.
Judge.
- "I suppose, Uncle Jim, you remem
ber a good deal about the politics of
the early days?"
"Well, I never tuk much Int'rest In
pollytics, but I kin recollect when
John C. Fremont was 'lected Presi
dent." "Fremontl Why, Fremont was never
elected."
"He wun't? Well, now, that gits me.
I heerd a leadin' speaker talk the
night 'fore 'lection, an' he said if John
C. Fremont wun't 'lected the country
would fall to ruin an' everybody would
have to shut up shop. Course, I didn't
take the papers; but, notlcln' thet
things went on 'bout the same as be
fore, J calculated John won. So he
wun't 'lected? Well, b'Jinks! thet gits
me!"
A Real Surprise Party.
Everybody's Magazine.
"Where are you goin', ma?" asked the
youngest of the five children.
"I'm going to a surprise party, my
dear," answered the mother.
"Are we, all goln', too?"
"No, dear. You weren't Invited."
After a few moments' deep thought.
"8ay, ma. then don't you think they'd
be lots more surprised if you did take us
all?" -
Perfectly Lovely.
"Physical culture, father, is perfect
ly lovely. To develop the arms I grasp
this rod by one end and move it slow
ly from right to left."
"Well, well," exclaimed her father;
"what won't science discover? If that
rod had straw at the other end you'd
be sweeping."
Marrying a Shiftless JIan.
Atchison Globe.
Being married to a shiftless man,
or a politician seems to develop great
faculties for managing a woman.
The wives of men who fail In business
1f Aunt Isabella's scheme was really go
in' to pan. So. when Purdy rushes in
about 4 o'clock and wants me to come up
and take a look at the layout. I was
Just .about ripe for goln' to see the
show.
"But I hope we can shy aunty." says
I. "Sometimes I get along with J;hese
old battleaxes first rate, and then again
I don't; and what little reputation you
got left at home I don't want to queer."
f . ! I .
4 vtlrVul ':
it hmw
Ml iliWP
I ft i J y i
1 :JHiiiIZ
She begins to sour on the merry-merry
life. 1
"Oh, that will be "all right," cays
Purdy. "She has heard of you from
Pinkney.. and she knows about how you
helped me to get the snakes."
"Did they fit In?" says I.
"Come up and see," says Purdy.
And it was worth the trip. Just to get
a view of them rooms. Nobody but a
batty old woman would have ever
though up so many Jungle stunts for
the second floor of a brownstone front.
"There:"-.says Purdy. "Isn't that trop
ical enough?'.'
I took a long look. "Well, says I, "I've
never been farther south than Old Point,
but I've seen such things pictured out
before now, and If I'm any Judge, this
throws up a section of the cannibal belt
to the life."
It did. too. They had the dark shades
pulled down, and the light was kind of
dim: but you could see that the place was
chock full of ferns and palms and such.
The parrots were hoppin' around and
you could hear water runnln' some
wheres, and they'd trained them spot
ted snakes around the rubber trees Just
as natural as If they'd crawled up there
by themselves.
While we was . lookln' Aunt Isabella
comes puffin' up the stairs.
"Isn't it Just charming, Mr. McCabe?"
says she. holdtn' a hand up behind one
ear. "I can hardly wait for dear Val
entine to come, I'm so anxious to see
how pleased he'll be. He Just dotes on
jungle life. The dear boy! You must
come up and take tea with him some
afternoon. I ie's a very shy, diffident lit
tle chap; but "
At that the door bell starts rlngln'
like the house was afire, and bang! goes
some one's fist on the outside panel.
Course, we all chases down stairs to see
what's broke loose; but before we gets
to the front hall the butler has the door
oien. and In pushes a husky, red-whis
or run for office, become noted. If they
are given a chance, for their ability
and thrift in running things.
Ills Beautiful Dream.
Puck.
Hobo Durin' yer afternoon nap, Wil
lie, you wuz smilln' an' cooin' like a
t'ree-mont's-old baby.
His Pal No wonder! I wuz dreamin'
I had a job as demonstrator fer a brew,
'ry!
Before and After Taking.
Atchison Globe.
Talking with some men Is like read
ing a patent medicitie almanac: Thoy
make you think that everything is the
matter with you.
A Son All Kight.
Yonkers Statesman.
Bill Did you say that fellow is a
brawny son of toll?
Jill Yes; his father does the tolling.
It Was the Woman, Etc.
Atchison Globe.
Every man has at aome time In his
LAST OF KIT C ARSON'S TRAPPERS
(Continued
of our northern trapping expeditions he
fell in with the Crows, who were delighted
to have white men among them, for the
reason that a white man could shoot down
many buffaloes during a hunt, while
sometimes an Indian would shoot 20 ar
rows into one of the animals before bring
ing it to the ground.
"Beckwourth and the Crows became so
friendly that he stayed with them, and
became their chief. He was a great war
rior and led them to victory against
other tribes. He was virtually an Indian
for many years, and had three children
by a squaw. These children I saw on
one of my last northern trapping expe
ditions. Jim and Kit, two of the boys,
were with the Bannock Indians, and Pan
ther, the third, who was a perfect dare
devil, was a sub-chief of the Brule Sioux.
Beckwourth finally went back to civiliza
tion, and was poisoned a few years later
when he went back to visit the Crows.
The Indians had been having hard luck
since Beckwourth left them. They had
been decimated by smallpox, and had lost
many engagements with Cheyennes, Sioux
and Blackfeet, and they wanted Beck
wourth to come back and lead them to
victory again. But he refused, and,
rather than let him go back to the white
people, they poisoned him."
In 1856, while Mr. Wiggins was at Fort
Bridger, an Easterner named Johnson ar
rived at that outpost and said .he wanted
to l?arn how to trap. Brldger turned him
over to Wiggins. Accompanied by three
Delaware and two Shoshone Indians the
two white men struck south into Colorado,
then an unexplored country. They trapped
kered party, wearin' a cloth cap a belte4
ulster with four checks to the square
yard, and carryuV an extension leather
bag about the size of a small trunk, with
labels pasted all over it.
"It's a blawsted shyme. that's w at it
Is!" savs he "me p'yin' 'alf a bob for a
two shillin' drive! These cabbies of your
Is a set of bloomink 'lw'ymen!"
"What name, sir?" says the butlen
"Nlme!" roars the whiskered gent.
"I'm Valentine, that's who I am! Tak9
the luggage, you shiverln' pie face."
"Oh. Valentine!" squeals Aunt Isa
bella, makin' a rush at him with her
arms out.
"Sheer off. aunty!" says he. "Cut out
the bally tommyrot and let me 'ave a
wash. And. sye, send some begger for
the brandy and soda. Where's me
rooms?" . .
"I'll show you up, Valentine," chips in
Purdy.
"Ello! 'O's the little man?" says Vally.
"Blow me if It oln't Purdy! Trot along
up. Purdy, lad, and show me the digs.
Say. he was a bird. Vally was. Ha
talks like a Cockney, acts like a bounder
and looks 'em both. Aunt Isabella has
dropped on the hall seat, gaspln" for
breath, the butler Is leanln' against the
wall with his mouth open; so I grabs ths
bag and starts up after the half-brothers.
Just by the peachblow tint of
Vally's nose I got the Idea that maybe
the most entertalnln' part of this whole
programme was billed to take place on
the second floor.
"Here you are." says Purdy, swlngln'
open the door and shovin' him In. "Aunt
Isabella has fixed things up homelike for
you, you see."
"And here's your - trunk." ' says I.
"Make yourself to home," and I shuts
him in to enjoy himself In his new home.
It took Valentine just about 20 sec
onds to size up the interior decorations;
for Purdy'd turned on the Incandescents
so's to give him a good view, and rlist
had stirred up the parrots some. What
I was waltin' for was for him to dis
cover the spotted snakes. I didn't think
he could miss 'em, for they was mighty
prominent. Nor he didn't. It wasn't
only us heard it, but everyone else on
the block.
"Wow:'' says he. "Elp! Elp! Lemma
out! I'me bein' killed!"
That was Valentine, bellerln' enough
to take the roof off. and clawln'- around
for the doorknob on the Inside. He
comes out as If he'd been shot through
a chute, his eyes stlckln' out like a
couple of peeled onions, and a gray par
rot hang-In' to one ear.
"What's the trouble?" says Purdy.
"B-r-r!" says Valentine, like a clog
ged steam whistle. "Where's the neatest
'orspital? I'm a sick man! H-r-r-r!"
With that he starts down the stairs,
takln' three at a time, bolts through Hit
front door, and makes a dash down the
street, yellln' like a kid when a tire
breaks out.
Purdy and me didn't have any time to
watch how far he went, for Aunt Isa
bella had keeled over on the rug. and the
maid was havin" a At in the parlor, and
the butler was fannln' himself with the
'card tray. We had to use up all the al
cohol and smellln' salts In the house he
fore we could bring the bunch around.
When, aunty's so she can hold her head
up and open her eyes, she looks about
cautious and whispers:
"Has has he gone, Purdy, dear?"
Purdy says he has. ,
"Then." she says to me, "bolt that
door, and never mention his name to me
again."
Everything's lovely now. Purdy's back
to the downy, and Bombazoula'a wiped
off the map for good.
And say! If you're lookln' for a set of
jungle scenery and stnffed snakes. I
know where you can get a Job lot for the
askin'.
WITS SAY
life, tried to make a collection of old
coins, but had his career Interrupted
by his wife, who used to get at them
when she needed money.
AH the Same to Him.
Chicago News.
"Aren't you glad to see a change In
the weather?" queried the optimist.
"Oh, not necessarily," rejoined ths
pessimist "One might as well worry
about one kind of weather as another."
Life as a Railroad Train.
Atchison Globe.
Life mny be compared to traveling
on a railroad train and running the risk
of accidents. But If there are no acci
dents, you finally reach the station whers
all get off.
A 6hock.
Indianapolis News.
Once In a while it comes with M great
shock to a girl to find out that a man
never notices the difference between a
49-cent shirtwaist and one that cost
J27.85.
From Page 5)
along White River and followed that
stream to its source. Here they found
a beautiful lake, which Johnson wanted
to call Wiggins Lake, and which Wiggins
wanted to call Johnson Lake. So they
compromised and called it Trappers'
Lake, by which name it Is known today.
Here the party stayed two years, finding
all the small streams emptying Into ths
lake alive with beaver. Satisfied with
his experience, Johnson and the Shoshone?
returned to Fort Brldger, while Wlgnini
and the Delawares made their way over
the main range of the Rockies and came
out on the plains at the South Platte, the
site of the Denver of today. There was
no Indication of any settlement on the site
of Denver then, but Mr. Wiggins re-
' calls that the point was a favorite gath
ering place for all tribes. Here trie In
dians met and ran their horses and played
games. There was a saying that wher
ever the Indians met for such purpose a
great city would arise, and this prediction
was fulfilled in Denver's case.
Today Mr. Wiggins is tall and straight
as a pine tree. His lean, wiry frame
shows no sign of the tremendous hard
ships it has endured. Up to a few
months ago he was bailiff in a Denver
court, but the sudden failure of his eye
sight caused him to abandon active work.
He Is famed throughout the West as a
weather prophet, having learned many
of Nature's weather signals from the In
dians andfrom the creatures of the wild.
Gentle of "manner, refined of speech, and
retaining the straightforward simplicity
of the born frontiersman, this "last leaf"
speaks well for the breed of men of the
old trapping days.