The Sunday Oregonian., July 12, 1908, Magazine Section, Page 7, Image 53

THE SUNDAY OREGOXIAX, PORTLAND, JULY 13, 190S.
IN" LONDON I met an American friend,
a busy New York man of letters.
"I come to London every season,"
said he, "for six week-ends. These
are spent at country-houses, and are
planned for a long time ahead."
At tirst, I wondered what he did be
tween the weed-ends, but I soon
learned that what with getting to and
from one country-place, and arranging
to go to and from another, the insig
nificant Wednesday or Thursday In be
tween is totally lost sight of.
Distance to a .week-end Mecca is
counted as nothing; and' so, when I
was Invited to a house party at a
villa some 12 miles out of Paris, I
prepared to go as casually as If my
destination were within the Dominions
of the Unsettlng Sun.
There seemed to be several routes
from Iondon to Paris, and each was
recommended to me as "the only pos-
Ihly way"; but I decided upon the
Dover-Calais route, and .left Victoria
station on the special train.
A friend who came to "see me off"
Insisted on providing me with a put-up
luncheon, saying the only preventive
of Channel bothers was to take a bite
before embarking.
So persistent was he, that I accept
ed his offer to put an end to his argu
ment, and waited in my compartment
while he ran for the "bite."
Tie returned, followed by a porter,
who wheeled on a truck a "put-up
luncheon"! It was in a hamper,
shaped like a large-sized wicker suit
case. Tills stupendous affair was
pushed under the seat, and before I
had time to remonstrate, my train
stnrtod.
Impelled alike by hunger and curi
OFlty, I finally opened the gigantic
lunch basket Inside were carefully
planned compartments containing sev
eral courses of a delicious cold lunch
eon. Ample provision of serviettes and
oiled paper protected the viands from
possible dust or eindcrs, and the array
of flat silver was bewildering. Plates
and cups fitted into their niches, and
the. whole collection was of a com
pleteness beyond compare. This is as
yet an untried field for American en
terprise, but I suppose It will come.
The disposition of the emptied ham
per was simply to restore it to its
plne under the seat, and leave it there.
.Apparently it had the instincts of a
homing pigeon.
Leaving Dover wag like backing
away from a picture post-card. 1
have sometimes thought lithographed
colors unnaturally orient, but the
preen and -white and blue of receding'
1 inver on a sunshiny day made aniline
dyes seem dull by comparison.
The crossing on the Channel steamer
was delightful, and I now know the
dreadful taies I have heard of this
BEJINGRROFESR SHORTY Mc CABES VERSION OF A
WI-IAT I was after was a souse
in the Sound; but say, I never
know just what's goln" to hap
pen to me when I gets to roamln' around
Westchester County!
I'd started out from Primrose Park to
hoof It over to a little beach a ways
down Bhore, when along comes Dom
lnlck with his blue dump cart. Now,
Domlnick's a friend of mine, and for a
foreigner he's the most entertain In' cuss
I ever met. I like talkln' with him. He
can make the English language sound
more like a lullaby than most of your
high-priced opera singers; and . as for
behV cheerful, why, he's got a pair of
eyes like sunny days.
Course, he wears rings in his ears, and
likely a seven-inch knife down the bark
of his neck. He ain't perfumed with
violets either, when you get right close
to: but the ash colleetin' business don't
call for peau d'Espagne, does it?
"Hallo!" says Dominlck. "You lika
ride?"
Well, I can't say I'm stuck on beln"
bounced around in an ash chariot; but I
knew Dominlck meant well, so in I gets.
We'd been Jolt In' along for about four
blocks. Fwappin' pigeon-toed conversa
tion, when there shows up on the road
behind us the fanciest rig I've seen out
side of a circus. In front, hitched up
tandem, was a couple of black and white
patchwork ponies that looked like they'd
broke out of a spoitln' print. Say. with
their shiny hoots and yeller harness, it
almost made your eyes ache to look at
em. But the buggy was part of the pic
ture, too. It was the dizziest ever Just
a couple of upholstered settees, balanced
back to back on a pair of rubber tired
wheels, with the whole Bhootln' match,
cushions and all. blazln' turkey red.
On the nigh side was a coachman, with
his bandy legs cased in white pants and
yeller topped boots; and on the other
well, say! you talk about your polka dot
symphonies! They was as big as quar
ters, and them in the parasol matched
the ones in her dress.
I'd been gawphv at the outfit a couple
of minutes before I could see anything
but the dots, and then all of a sudden
1 tumbles that it's Sadie Sullivan. She
finds me about the same time, and Jabs
her sunshade into the small of the driv
er's back, to make him pull up. I tells
IVimtnlck to haul in, too. but his old
skate is on hla hind legs, with his ears
pointed front, wakln' up for the first time
in five years, so X has to drop out over
the tall board.
"Well, what do you thing of the rig?"
says Sadie.
"I kuoss me and Domlnick's old crow
bait has about the same thoughts along
that line." says I. "Can you blame us?"
"U Is rather giddy, isn't it?" says
she.
"Most gave me the blind staggers,"
says 1. "You ought to distribute smoked
elnsses along the route of procession.
Dirt you buy It some dark night, or was
It msrte to order after somethin' you saw
in a dream?"
"The idea!" says Sadie. "This jaunt
ing car is one I had sent over from Paris
to help my ponies get a blue ribbon at
the Hlll'n'dale horse show. And that's
what It did. too."
"rslun ribbon!" says I. "The Judges
must have been color blind."
"Oh. I don't know." says Sadie, stlckln'
her tonRue out at me. "After that I've
a good notion to make you walk."
"1 don't know as I'd have nerve enough
to rtrte in that, anyway." says I. "Is it
a funeral you're goin' to?".
"Next thing to It." says Bhe. "But
come on. Shorty: get aboard and I'll tell
you all about It."
So I steps up alongside the spotted
silk, and the driver lets the ponies loose.
Say. it was Just like ridin" sideways in a
roller coaster.
Sadie said she was awful glad to see
me just then. She had a Job on hand
that she hated to do. and she needed
ome one to stand In her corner and
experience to be mere peevish ma
lignity. I sat on the deck of the dan
cing boat, and when the spray grew
mischievous, kind-hearted attendants
wrapped me In tarpaulin mackintoshes,
or whatever may be the French for
their queer raincoats.
I ruined my hat and feathers, but. In
the exhilaration of that mad dash
through the tumbling, rioting sea, who
could think of personal economy?
All too soon we reached Calais, and
here, again, a living, breathing picture
confronted me. Unlike Dover, the
harbor at Calais is like an exquisite
aquarelle. The high lights and half
tones are marvelous, and the composi
tion is a masterpiece. But (and here
I made my two rules that should be
invariably observed by the traveler
from London to Paris) there Is not a
more fearful wild-fowl living than your
French customs inspector.
Troubles of all sorts cropped up, and
the porters and officials talked such
strange French that they couldn't un
derstand mine!
But the troubles were all because of
my luggage, which they divided into
two classes. And hence my two rules:
First When crossing the English
Channel, on no account take with you
any luggage except hand-luggage.
Second On no account take any
hand-luggage.
These rules, carefully observed, will
insure a happy, peaceful journey, for
the accommodations for personal com
fort are admirable.
The railroad train from Calais to
Paris Is a clean marvel of light gray
upholstery, and white antimacassars
sized like a pillow-sham. The cars are
exceedingly comfortable and the whole
ride a delight.
I reached the Gare du Nord about 7
o'clock in the evening, and, after a mad
dening experience with criminally im
perturbable officials, I took a cab to my
hotel.
Accustomed, all my life, to the few
scattering cabs of New Tork City, I
had thought London possessed a great
many cabs; but Paris contains as many
as London and New York put together.
The French capital is paved with cabs.
and of such a cheapness of fare that I
soon discovered it was more economical
to stay in them than to get out.
I well knew J must fight against the
insistence of "first impressions"; but
after all It was Paris, and I had never
been tlire before, ard the ride from
the station to the Palace Vendome might
therefore be allowed to thrill me a little.
Some of th? Streets seemed rather
horrid, but after we swung into the
Boulevard and came at last to the Ven
dome Column, with a pale little French
moon just appearing above it. I was
ready to admit that Paris might go to
my head, even as London went to my
heart.
My chosen hotel, The Ritz.- was once
the old palace of the Castiglione, and
cheer her up while she tackled it. Seems
she'd got rash a few days before and
made a promise to lug the Duke and
Duchess of Kildee over to call on the
Wigghorns. Sadie'd been actln' as sort
of advance agent for Their Dukelets dur
In' their splurge over here, and Mrs.
Wigghoin had mesmerized her into mak
ln' a date for a call. This was the
day.
It would have gone through all right
if some one hadn't put the Duke wise to
what he was up against. Maybe you
know about the Wigghoms? Course,
they've got the goods, for about a dozen
years ago old Wigghorn choked a car
patent out of some poor inventor, and his
bank account's been pyramidln' so fast
ever since that now he's in the eight
figure class; but when it comes to bein'
in the monkey dinner crowd, they ain't
even counted as near silks.
"Why." says Sadie. "I've heard that
they have their champagne standing in
rows on the sideboard, and that they
serve charlotte russe for breakfast!"
"That's an awful -thing to repeat,"
says I. .
"Oh. well." says she, "'Mrs. Wigg-
horn's a good-natured soul, and I de
think the Duke might have stood her for
an afternoon. He wouldn't, though, and
now I've got to go there and call it off.
Just as she's got herself into her diamond
stomacher, probably, to receive them."
"You couldn't ring In a couple of
subs?" says I-
' For a minute Sadie's blue eyes lights
up like I'd passed her a plate of peach
ice cream. 'If I only could!" says she.
Then she shakes her head. "No," she
says, "I should hate to lie. And. any
way, there's no one within reach who
could play their parts."
Ain't they the wonders, these women?
"That " bein' the case," says I, "it
looks like you'd have to go ahead and
break the sad news. What do you want
e. - nx. 'i
i ; : , . . .!
still retains much of the palatial man
ner. Exquisite In the moddernness of its ap
pointments, it possesses an atmosphere
of historic France, and the combination
comes perilously near perfection. The
urbane proprietor, who looked like a hero
of a French play, and was solicitous for
my welfare in the best of English. From
my windows I could see al fresco diners
in a garden which looked like Marie An
toinette's idea of Luna Park.
Noble old trees rose as high as the
house, and from their brandies hung
great globes of vari-colored electric light.
Statuef. guarded a fountair. at one end.
flower-beds surrounded the place, and
at many tables gay humanity was toying
with chef d'aeuvres of French cooking.
The scene allured me. I hastily don
ned a dinner gown, and descended to take
my seat at an attractively-placed table.
As 1 was alone, this might in New
York have seemed indiscreet; in London,
at least indiscreet; but in Paris, being a
guest of the house and under the pro
tection of the august and benignant pro
prietor, it all seemed the most -natural
proceeding in the world.
ELEVATED
me to do hold a bucket for the tears?"
Sadie said all she expected of me was
to help her forget it afterwards; so we
rolls along towards Wigghorn Arms.
"We'd got within a mile of there when
we meets a Greek peddler with a bunch
of toy balloons on his shoulder, and in
less'n no time at all them crazy quilt
ponies was tryin' to do back somersaults
and other fool stunts. In the mix-up
one of 'em rips a shoe almost off, and
Mr. Coachman says he'll have to chase
back to a blacksmith shop and have It
glued on.
"Oh, bother! says Sadie. '"'Well, hur
ry up about It. We'll walk along as far
as Apawattuck Inn and wait there."
It wa'n't much of a walk. The Apa
wattuck's a place where they deal out
Imitation shore dinners to trolley excur
sionists, and fusel oil high bails to the
bubble trade. The name sounds well
enough, but that ain't satisfy in" when
you're real hungry. We were only killin
time, though,, so It didn't matter. We
strolled up just as fearless as though
their clam chowders was fit to eat.
And that's what fetched us up against
the Tortonis. They were well placed, at
a corner veranda table where no one
could miss seein' 'em; and, as they'd
Just finished a plate of chicken salad
and a pint of genuine San Jose claret,
they was lookin' real comfortable and
elegant.
Say, to see the droop-eyed way they
sized us up as we makes our entry, you'd
think they was so tired doin that sort
of thing that life was hardly worth
while. Tou'd never guess they'd been
livin' In a hall bedroom on crackers and
bologna ever since the season closed,
and that this was their first real feed of
the Summer, on the strength of just
I As-- J
The dinner was a dream; I mean, a
sort of comic opera dream, where lights
and flowers and gayety made a chimeri
cal effect of happiness.
Of course, this pause over night at the
hotel was part, of my journey to the
week-end party.
The next day my hostess would send
for me, but these vicissitudes of travel
were not at all unpleasant.
As I finished my dinner and saun
tered through the delicately-ornate
salons, callers' cards were brought me,
and I was delighted to welcome eome
English friends who were passing
through Paris on a motor tour.
"Come with us," they said; "our car
is at the door, and we will go out and
see 'Paris by night,' in our own way."
Incongruous this, for Emily Em
mins! But my adaptability claimed me for
its own, and, with what I fancied a
French shrug of my shoulders. I mis
pronounced a French phrase of acqui
escence and declared myself ready to
stalwart Englishmen, and the
dignified wife of one of them, might
T'A'
TO THE
havln' been booked for 50 performances.
He was wearin' one of them torrid suits
you'seeMn Max Blamstein's show win
dow, with a rainbow band on his straw
pancake and one of these new flannel
collar shirts that you button under the
chin with a brass safety pin. She was
spot-tin' a Peter Pan peekaboo that would
have made Comstock gasp. And neither
of 'em had seen a pay day for the last
two months.
But it was done good, though. They
had the tray Jugglers standin' around re
spectful, and the other guests wonderin'
how two such real House of .Mlrthers
should happen to stray in where the best
dishes on the card wa'n't more'n 60 cents
a double portion.
Course, I ain't never been real chum
my with Tortonl his boardln' house
name's Skinny Welch, you know but I've
seen him knockln' around the RIalto off'n
on for years; so as I goes by the next
table I lifts my lid and says, "Hello.
Skin. How goes It?" Say; wa'n't that
friendly enough? But what kind of a
come back do I get? He just humps his
eyebrows, as much as to say, "How bold
some of these common folks is gettin'
to be!" and then turns the other way.
Sadie and I look at each other and swap
grins.
"What happened?" says she.
"I had a 15-eent lump of Hygela passed
to me." says L "And with the ice trust
still on top, I calls it extravagant."
"Who are the personages?" says she.
"Well, the last reports I hajd of 'em,"
says I, "they were the Tortonis. waitln
to do a parlor sketch on. the bargain day
matinee circuit; but from the looks now
I guesses they're travelin' Incog for the
afternoon, anyway."
"How lovely!" says Sadie.
Our selzer lemonades came along Just
then, so there was business with the
straws. I'd Just fished out the last piece
of pineapple when Jeems shows up on the
drive with the spotted ponies and that
side saddle cart. I gave Sadie the nudge
to look at the Tortonis. They had their
eyes glued to that outfit, like a couple of
Hester-st. kids lookin' at a hoky poky
wagon.
And it wa'n't no common "Oh, I wish I
could swipe that" look, either. It was a
heap deeper"n that. The whole get up,
from the red wheels to the silver rosettes,
must have hit 'em hard, for they held
their breath most a minute, and never
moved. The girl was the first to break
away. She turns her face out toward the
sound and sighs. Say, it must be tough
to have ambitions like that, and never
get nearer to 'em than now and then a
ten-block hansom ride.
And then Jeems catches Sadie's eye,
and salutes with the whip.
"Did you get It fixed?" says she.
He says it's all done like new.
Signor Tortonl hadn't been losin' a
look nor a word, and the minute he ties
us up to them speckled ponieB he maps out
a change of act. Before I could call the
waiter and get my change Tortonl was
right on the ground.
"I beg pardon." says he, "but isn't this
my old friend. Professor McCabe?"
"You've sure got a comln' memory.
Skinny." says I.
"Why!" says he, gettin' a grip on my
paw, "how stupid of me! Really, pro
fessor, you've grown so distinguished
looking that I didn't place yW at all.
Why, this is a great pleasure, a very
great pleasure. Indeed!"
"Ye-e-es?" says L
But. say, I couldn't rub It in. He was
so dead anxious to connect himself with
that red cart before the crowd that I
just let him spiel away. Inside of two
minutes the honors had been done all
around, and Sadie was bein' as nice to
the girl as she knew how. And Sadie
knows, though! She'd heard that 'sigh,
Sadie had; and It didn't jar me a bit
when she gives them the invite to take
a little drive down the road with us.
Well, it was worth money. Just to
seem a strange party with which to
visit Montmartre by night; but it was
an Ideal way to go. In the motor-car
we could whiz from one ridiculous
"Cabaret Unique" to another. We could
look In at the absurd Illusions of "Le
Ciel." we could Jeer at the flimsy fool
ishness of "L'Enfer," and make fun of
Its attractions diabollques, yet all the
time we were seeing the heart of
Parisian Folly, and a very gay, good
humored, harmless little heart it is,
Evil there might be, but none was
observable, and the foolish young
French people sat around with much
the same air as that.of young Ameri
cans at coney island.
"The "Caoaret du Neant" la sup
posed to be a fearsome place, where
guestB sit around coffins and see
ghosts. But so like substantial tables
were the coffins and so sociable and
human the ghosta. that awe gave place
to amusement.
Home 'we" whizzed, through the poorly-lighted
streets, which are indeed an
anachronism in gay Paris by night.
Next day came the great touring car
of my week-end hostess, to take me to
PEERAGE.
watch Skinny Judgln'- up the house out
of the corner of his eye. I'll bet there
wa'n't one in the audience that he didn't
know Just how much of it they was
takin' in; and by the easy way he leaned
across the seat back and chinned to
Sadie, as we gat started, you'd thought
he'd been brought up in one of them
carts. The madam wa'n't any in the
rear, either. She was just as much to
home as if she'd been usin' up a green
transfer across Thirty-fourth. If the
style was new to her. or the motion gave
her a tingly feelin' down her back, she
never mentioned it.
They did lose their breath a few,
though, when we struck Wigghorn Arms.
It's a whackln' big place, all fenced in
with fancy Iron work and curlicue gates
fourteen feet high.
"I've just got to run In a minute and
say a word to Mrs. Wigghorn." says
Sadie. "I hope you don't mind waiting?"
Oh no, they didn't. They said so in
mm
chorus, and as we looped the loop
through the shrubbery and began to get
glimpses of window awnings and 'tiled
roof, I could tell by the way they acted
that they'd just as soon wait inside as
out.
Mrs. Wigghorn wasn't takin any
chances on havln Their Dukelets drive
up, leave their cards, and skldoo. She
waa right out front, hold in' down a big
porch rocker, with her eyes peeled up the
drive. And she was costumed for the
part. I don't know Just what it was
she had on. but I've seen plush parlor
Bults covered with stuff like that. She's
a sizable old girl anyway, but In that
rig, and with her store hair puffed out.
P
- v j. j -.r--i X ,r-1 -
her villa at St. Germaln-en-Laye.
The villa being a fascinating old
French mansion, self-furnished, the
house party being composed of most
delightful people, the host and hostess
past grand masters in the art of en
tertaining, the visit was, as might have
been expected, merely a kaleidoscope
of week-end delights.
One absorbing entertainment fol
lowed another, but perhaps the picture
that remains most clearly In my mem
ory Is the dinner on the terrace. A
French country-house terrace Is so
much more frivolous than an English
one. The outlook, over a formal gar
den, of modified formality; the splash
ing little fountain her and there; the
decorated table on the decorated ter
race; the shaded candles, flower, and
foreign service; the French moon, that
has such a sophisticated paleness; the
birds singing French songs In what are
doubtless Ilex trees all go to make a
peculiar charm that no- other country
may ever hope to attain.
The days were devoted to motoring
to Versailles, Fontainebleau, and
through Paris Itself, and by this subtle
method one could sightsee without
realizing it. To motor over to Chan
tllly, for the sole purpose of feeding
the carp, is a different matter from
seeing- "sights which should on no ac
count be omitted"; and to go with
one's host for a day's run among the
tiny French villages Is a personally-
conducted tour with the sting entirely
extracted.
The week-end over, I must needs
pause a day or two in Paris, to rest
myself on my journey back to London.
The shops offered wonderful attract
tlons in the way of souvenirs to take
to the dear ones- at home. For the
value of a foreign-bought "souvenir"
lies in the fact of Its non-existence in
American shops, and such are hard to
find, indeed. For the novelty In Lon
don today Is the "reduced goods" In
the New York department store tomor
row. Moreover, the shops contained femi
nine raiment of wonderful glory! Only
the fear of my "first Impressions" of
our American Custom-House officers
prevented my realizing my V wildest
dreams of extravagance.
Parisian clothes are marked by that
quality which the London salespeople
call "dynety" they having no more
idea of the meaning than of the pro
nunciation of the word."
But th Parisian woman,' from the
richest to the poorest, is first of all
dainty; after that correct, chic, modish
what you will.
And the French money Is so easy to
compute. My sovereign rule is to mul
tiply by two, shift a decimal point and
you have dollars. If centimes, multi
ply by two, decimal point again, and
you have cents.
This simple rule made Paris shop
Br1
UDEViLjLE
she loomed up like a bale of hay In a
door.
"Why, how do you do!" she squeals,
making a swoop at Sadie as soon as the
wheels stopped turnin". "And you did
bring them along, didn't you? Now,
don't say a word until I get Peter he's
just gone in to brush the cigar ashes off
his vest. He wanted to be presented
to the Duke and Duchess together, you
know. Peter! Peter!" she shouts, and
in through the front door she waddles,
yellin' for the old man.
And say, just by the look Sadie gave
me, I knew what was runnin' through
her head.
"Shorty,"
do it."
"Flag It,
says she, "I've a mind to
says I. "You ain't got
time." -But
there was no stoppln'- her. "Lis
ten," says she to the Tortonis. "Can't
you play Duke and Duchess of Kildee for
an hour or so?"
"What are the lines?" says Skinny.
"You've got to improvise as you go
along," sayB she. "Can you do it?"
siiiiaii
lllltl
"It's a pipe for me," says he. "Flossy,
do you come in on It?"
Did she? - Why Flossy was dlggin' up
her English accent while he was askin'
the question, and by the time Mrs. Wigg
horn got back, dragghV Peter by the lapel
of his dress coat, the Tortonis was fairly
oozln' aristocracy. It was "Chawmed,
don' cher know!" and "My word!" right
along from the drop of the hat.
I didn't follow 'em inside, and was just
as glad I didn't have to. SitthV out
there, expectin' to hear the lid blow off,
made me nervous enough. I wasn't
afraid either of 'em would go shy on
front; but when I remembered Flossy's
penciled eyebrows and Skinny 'a flannel
ping play. I had determined, as this time
Paris was a means and not an end.
being merely Incidental to my week-end
trip, I would not go Into the galleries,
and perhaps become unduly attached to
something I might find there.
A casual visit to the Louvre let me
go through several rooms of pictures
and statues unmoved, when suddenly
I met my Waterloo.
All unexpectedly I came upon the
Venus of Milo. It was a revelation.
The casts and photographs I had hith
erto seen of it I now discovered to be
no mors like the original statue than
the moon is like the sun.
The form perhaps, is not so Inade
quately represented, but the face, as
shown In case or picture, la a sadly
futile attempt at Imitation.
The real Venus has the most marvel
lous face In the world. There la an
Ineffable beauty of feature, and an ex
quisite repose of expression, that be
tokens no one affection, but the glori
fication of all that is great and beau
tiful. But the fascination Is unexplalnable,
I only know , that Into that wonderful
face I could gaze for hours; but nevei
again do I want to see a reproduction
of It, of any sort.
In the Louvre, too, I found the Mona
Lisa. Here again I had been misled
by photographs and "art prints." and
was all unprepared for the witchery
of that baffling, bewildering smile. By
a queer correlation of ideas, my mind
reverted to the Laughing Cavalier, and
I wondered If these two were smiling
at the same thought.
TJndeslrous of seeing more at this
time, I returned to my open, viotorla
like cab. Those foolish - Paris cabsl
They seem so exactly like the vehicle
In which Bella Wilfer elegantly Bat
when she begged her parent, "Loll, ma,
loll!"
But they are fine to see out of, and
a city like Paris, made for show,
should have cabs of wide outlook. '
Paris is an achievement. Its coher
ent, consequent clvio beauty ranks U
among the seven beauties of the world
It Is as systematically and methodlcall)
laid out as Philadelphia but with
difference!
It Is disceet and tactful, and evei
puts ite best foot foremost, the othei
probably being down at heel.
It is trim and tripping, where Lon
don is solidly lumbering but, give me
London!
Paris is adorable; London is lov
able. Paris Is bewitching; London is
satisfying.
Paris is to London as limelight unto
sunlight, and as absinthe unto wine.
But as the very essence of Paris is
ephemeral, so the nature of London
makes for perpetuity; and London is,
of all things, a place to go back to.
(The End.)
TEAM
collar. I says to myself, "That'll queei
'em as soon as they get In a good light
and there's time for the details to soali
In." And I didn't know what kind oi
trouble the Wigghoms might stir up foi
Sadie when they found out how bad
they'd been toasted. She might get all
they thought was comln' to her.
It was half an hour before Sadlt
showed up again, and she was lookin1
merry.
"What have they done with m," sayi
I, "dropped 'em down the well?"
Sadie snickered as she climbed In and
told Jeems to whip up the team. "Mr.
and Mrs. Wigghorn," says she, "hava
persuaded the Duke and Duchess to
spend the week's end at Wigghorn
Arms."
"Gee!" says I. "Can they run the bluff
that long?"
"It's running Itself," says Sadie. "The
Wigghoms are so overcome with the
honor that they hardly know whether
they're afoot or horseback; and as for
your friends, they're more British than
the real articles ever thought of being.
X stayed until they looked through the
suite of rooms they're to occupy, and
when I left they were being towed out
to the garage to pick out a touring car
that suited them. They deemed already
to be bored to death, too.
"Good!" says I. "Now maybe you'll
take me over to the beach and let me
get In a quarter's worth of swim."
"Can't you put it off. Shorty?" sayt
ahe. "I want you to take the next train
Into town and as an errand for me, go
to the landlady at this number, Baal
Fifteenth street, and tell her to send. Mr.
Tortoni's trunk by express."
Well, I did it. It took a ten to make
the landlady loosen up on the ward
robe, too; but conslderin the solid joy
I've had, thinkin' about Skinny and
Flossy eatin charlotte russe for break
fast, and all. that, I guess I'm gettin
a lot for my money. It ain't every day
you have a chance to elevate a vaude
ville team to the peerage. (Copyright
by the Associated Sunday Magazines,
Inc.)
As the Boss Thinks.
Judge.
"What! going to leave us so soon,
Thomas 7" ,
"Sorry, sir; but I must tell you as ow
I can't put up with the missus any
longer."
"But. Thomas (appealingly), think how
long I've put up with her!"
The Old-Time Songs.
Douglas Dobbins, In the Indianapolis Ft nr.
The old-time songs! The old-time songs I
How they echo through my soul!
Still for their rhythm my spirit longs I
How many faces they recall.
How many spells the senses 'thrall.
As on mine ear they roll!
Sometimes. like tones of pealing bells.
They sharply strike once more.
- And as each note distinctly swells,
I see again the distant spires.
Reflecting back the golden fires
From the red sun before 1
Sometimes, so softly sweet and clear
Their ringing words restore
My mother's face, and bring her near.
Resounding from the past remote
Her tender, pleading voice I note.
Km heard In days of yora.
Again, the scenes of "love's young dream
Come up before mine eyes;
I see a- beauteous maid and seem
To catch the love-light In her face.
Eager the tender thoughts to trace.
As In her mind they rise!
Oh, songs of yore, those olden strains!
Ye make me younger grow.
Ye give again the joys and pains.
Ye send the sunshine and the rains
In all your sweet, yet sad, refrains
That once my youth did know.
And when on distant strands I move.
And list the heavenly score,
Enraptured In my Father's love,
I hope to hear the radiant throng
Strike golden harps, and start in sonf
Those tender strains once