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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (May 10, 1908)
r THE SUXDAY OREGOXIAX. 'PORTLAND. 31 AY- 10, 1908. 9 "WHEN MILLIONAIRES BEGIN- TO TALICYOU WONDER HOW THEY GOT IT "$M5 THE HOTEL Offl ETJffF&Vs: CQS3 "J AIN'T seen lately where John D.'s been talking any," .said the House Detective of the Hotel St. Beck- Jess. "He ain't sick. Is he?" "I understand he's enjoying his usual good health, conservatively estimated to be J64 a minute," said the Hotel Clerk, "but I think ho suspended his conversa tioncs on advice." "Wuz It the advice of his doctor, d'ye s'pose?" asked the House Detective. "Well," said the Hotel Clerk, "I'm not what you could call In the deep confi dences of the Rockefeller family, but I have a shrewd suspicion that it was probably on the advice of his lawyer. I haven't heard of Uncle John D. indulging in many oratorical outpourings since that timo last Summer -when he mounted the witness chair out in Chicago and ex plained the innate and constitutional purity of Standard Oil so conclusively that tho Judgu only fined 'em $29,000,000. In fact, a dense and deafening wave of silence appears to have descended upon quite a number of our wealthiest gentle men who were lately talking extensively for tho public prints and also Harper's Weekly. A few short months ago a stranger entering Mr. Harriman's office would heaj- a loud twittering sound. It was only Mr. Harriman being inter viewed by all tlie lady special writers in town on tho 'Science of Train-Wrecking as an Inside Job,' or some other congenial topic, but it sounded like throwing a seed cooky into the canary CHge. Today, if you should put on a re porter's badge and drop in on him for the purpose of asking a few questions, you'd get the same result .as if you were serenading the laundry -windows of a deaf and dumb asylum at a quarter past 2 o'clock on a snowy morning early in January of a hard Winter. And that's the way it used to be, Larry, and that's the way It ought to be. I'm glad to see them getting buck to first principles once more. "You remember how it was a year or so back before this vocal madness de scended on our leading captains of finance. In those days, John D. Rocke feller thought as much of a reporter as he did of a process-server, and his regard for a process-server was only equaled by the love which the historic tarantula cherished for tho traditional tarantula. The only way a newspaper man could get within yelling distance of J. Plerpont Morgan was to disguise himself' as an old master and apply at the tradesman's door of the Morgan mansion, carry a Venus de Medicine or a Castor or Pol linaris or some other diety from the an cient Greek pharmacopoea. under his Arm. On being approached by a mem ber of tho press, Andrew Carnegie was about as conversational as a small saucer of cold oatmeal. K. H. Harrfman could engage In his favorite occupation of pull ing a railroad out and then pushing It in again, the same as a German performing on an accordion, for days at a time with out once expressing a desire to be seen by anybody from one of the daily publi cations. If a muckraker broke In on him unawares, he cuddled down behind his mustache and tried to pass for a set of military hair brushes. "All of a sudden there came a change. You never saw such a rush of capitalists all trying to turn out tbe -words and music simultaneously. H. H. Rogers liad his picture taken in 75 poses, and hired a press agent who'd done publictizing for some of the most prominent ingenues in the business. Rockefeller's Thursday af ternoons for reporters,, with malted milk and dipped toast. Baptist style, became a recognized institution. It's a mistake to think the moist and lingering soul kiss is a new thing, Larry. It really dates from tho time Mr. Rockefeller came back from that European tour of his, and was so glad to see so many reporters at the dock. He sent best reagrds to Link Steffens from the gang plank. After that, we used to read! In the newspapers that, passing through Illinois, he'd stop bis private car, the Idatarbella, to tell the editor of the Carbondale Tri-Weekly Independent-News-Democrat that any young man starting in life, as he'd done, with $30 in cash, and honesty, as his only assets, could succeed in business, and still keep the fifty. Reporters approach ing air. Harriman's residence on business, found Jhim lying across the doorway where the door mat is usually found, with the word "Welcome" embroidered on his shirt bosom in electric lights. "But on the whole I-don't think the experiment turned out a pronounced suc cess. Carnegie, down at Hempstead making armor plate while his Pinkerton's made orphans, was a, small silent man. Carnegie, conferring impromptu orations and libraries on the county at large, was no longer silent. But still just as small or even smaller, I couldn't see very much ground for hurling the hot house en coniums at Mr. Rockefeller's style of voice delivers-, either. It seemed to me I'd liked him better -when he was a human geological exhibit with a gleam in his eye dating back to the glacial period and a smile like a scam on some old red sandstone. As long as one of the ' Nothing - But - Brotherhood slides around saying nothing, and, making shore Ice, we fear him and we respect him be cause we do fear him. But when he opens his face so far that we can look down on him and observe that he has the same sort of interior decoration that a necktie salesman has, and when he be gins to pass out a choice line of raspberry shrub remarks, we may still fear him, but we lose some of the respect. Up until that time, we're been wondering why lie ever accumulated so muoh coin. After we hear him talk, we quit wonder ing why and - begin to wonder how. There's not a nlne-hundred-dollar-a-year county school superintendent in Indiana that can't talk forget-me-not borders around any multy-millionaire on earth. We never really begin to sihorten a man's measure until he opens up. That's where the Sphinx has it all over Mammoth Cave. One stands for mystery and in scrutable wisdom and Cook's tours up the Nile, and the other stands for a loud roaring sound and no privacy whatever. "Larry, there comes a time in the life of every man who's too rich when you have to watch him very closely. It's usually along about the time when he quits having emotions and begins to have symptoms. He's spent 40 or 50 years taking it away from the populace with one hand, and spiking It down with the other. Up until that time, his main re gret has been that he didn't' have as many arms as one of those spidery East Indian gods so's lie could take It away from 'em faster. Unexpectedly he wakes up some morning to a realization that he's not getting such a big run for his money. He probably has a son with one of those brain-proof skulls and a bright, expressive face, like a German carp most rich men have that kind and while he's been -wearing dollar undershirts. Young Hopeful's been making it possible for the dealers to handle pyjamas retail ing for $37.50, at a profit. He also finds he's got a lot of daughters that, matri monially Bpeaking, are chiefly useful for the European export trade. They have what the society editresses call interest ing faces. When you read, Larry, in the account of the marriage of a rich man's child to a foreign duke that the bride has an interesting face, you can rest assured that's what she's got, and not only Inter esting, but almost startling. I've noticed that most of the millionaires' daughters have that brand of face. I don't know why,- but they do. I think, maybe, It's the money breaking outf on them. "So, as I was saying, our poor rich man wakes up. He decides that he ought to jump right on the merry-go-round and begin to snntcli the brass rings. If he undertakes to eschew his customary streetcar, and go in for something fancy, the dealers sting him. His horses never are broke, and bis automobiles always are. If he falls to the lure of the steam yacht, he discovers as soon as he gets out of sight of lurid that he lost his sea legs about the time he parted from his shore hair and his inland teeth. The last tiling he ate gives the death-rattle in his throat, and they have to take him out on the back porch of the yacht and drape him over the rail and let him voice his sincere regrets to the vasty deep. 11c may decorate his wife with so much jew elry that she'll never have to wear heavy underclothes again, but she'll still have those same large, broad, common-sense feet, and even in her cut Jet and black velvet, the casual bystander will be able to tell that in her earlier days she must have known a good deal about stoking a kitchen range. "Or else he suddenly wants to talk for publication, and that's worse. He ought to stay consistent to the end. , If he hasn't been a spender, he oughtn't to try, because It takes practice to do it grace fully, and the same with handling the language. Ills descendants will Wk after those details for him 'after he's dead. If you don't believe it, I call your attention to the Goulds and the l'haws and a few others. "There's one old boy stopping here that fulfills my ideals of bow a confirmed coln-colleetor ought to round out his ca reer. Kven with his nightshirt orrr 1 11 bet you he still resembles 9 per cent and approved security. He has an eye like an undertaker's night bell, and a profile like a canopener. When he smiles, he makes you think of a man drawing a knife. There are little red and blue lines in his cheeks, like those you see In a new dollar bill. When he dies, noth ing'll grow on his grave except little long green flowers that bloom every 90 days like a promissory note. Any time he gave you something for nothing, and you tried to hoek it, you'd be charged storage by any self-respecting pawn broker. You can look at the back of his neck, and know that when a dollar gets into his custody, the eagle loses the need of Its wings forcvermore. "But I like him to be that way, Larry. He's a living picture of what money will do for you when you haven't got any thing els-:e. Every time I see him and re flect that Bradstreet gives him one of those XXX ratings, like a barrel of pat ent flour, I get more and more recon ciled-to being poor." "You couldn't take his money, I s'pose?" said the House Detective. "His money?" said the Hotel Clerk.' "Larry, you couldn't take his tempera- ture." WHERE CITY'S GIRLS ARE TAUGHT TO COOK Two Local Institutions Impart Knowledge in Most Useful Art of Housewifery pijuwiu'.jip imiii.i m P'V'--J'-"S" J' BY LILIAN TINGLE. YOIT will find very few people nowadays who do not assent in a general way to the proposition that every girl, no matter what her po sition In life, should know something of the principles of cooking and house keeping if ehe is to become a healthy, normal, useful member of society. The difficulty is, however, to secure Instruction In these matters; for In spite of some women who will assure you that they are "just natural born cooks," good cooking and housekeeping re not matters that "come by na ture," or can be "Just picked up." ! Careful training by the mother In the home is most desirable; but there are very many homes where this is not possible, and many mothers who lack either time or knowledge, or teaching' ability. There are two institutions in Port land where an attempt is being made to solv tills problem by practical cook ing classes for little girls. The long "waitinfr lists" of these classes, both at the People's Institute (Fourth and Rurnslde) and the Neighborhood Houee (427 First street) show that the work is helpful and appreciated by parents and pupils alike. The classes at each Institution are in charge of Mrs. E. R. Miller, the well known . domestic science teacher and clubwoman. At the institute, Mrs. Miller is assisted by Miss Mabel WeW ler. Miss Nella Wesslnger, Mrs. Page, Miss Hattie Jellison. Miss Louise Van Duser and Miss Leslie Knapp. On Saturdays, from 2 to 5, ' two courses are given, one for "juniors," the other for "seniors." ranging in age from 12 to 16. Careful records of work are kept and diplomas are granted at the end of the year to those who have none well. Each little cook has her own red bag containing her uniform of whito cap, apron and sleeves, and her neat, oilcloth-covered notebook. The lessons are arranged so that each forms a simple and inexpensive meal breakfast, luncheon or dinner. COOKING- SCHOOL, THEL TZ?0&ZJZ:S JVSTITCSTZL iui . wiu?r.g.r4i "lit; ,',' f i,-.-wr,.v ?Vl'Jk m '.up vHT II - -"U F K't I I" -I 1 ill ?. 3 t ?K as the ease may be, suitable for im mediate application In home practice. An important part of the lesson Is the neat and orderly setting of the table and service of these meals. Two mem bers of the class. In turn, wait upon the others, who thus test and enjoy what they have made. Most of these little girls do cooking at home. Sometimes they help a busy mother; sometimes the mother is ab sent at work and the young cook has the responsibility of all the family meals. In any case, she is learning not only valuable lessons about the right way of doing things, but also about the right attituiTe towards work of this kind. She is losing false and snobbish ideas about the "drudgery" and "degradation" of domestic work, and seeing that It may be not only useful, but enjoyable and uplifting. Any occupation may be "drudgery" if one makes it so. At the Neighborhood House the les sons are held on Thursday afternoon and are somewhat shorter, since the pupils cannot come until after school. For this reason, and owing to the small size of the room and the large size of the class (24 members) it is not found practicable to serve a complete meal on every occasion: but some very excellent work' Is accomplished. -Whlltf there is no restriction as to race or creed, this class is intended primarily for the children of orthodox Jewish parents, and care is taken in the les sons to conform in all respects to the dietary laws. Here, again, many of the pupils do the family cooking at home, and many parents have thanked the teacher and the institution for the useful instruc tion given. It Is hoped that in course of time both space and equipment can be considerably increased and thy scope of this particular "branch of the valuable activities of the Neighborhood Holism may be still further increased. The average age of this class is 12 years just the age when a girl seems to take most readily to domestic-occupations. Can't you recall many in stances where girls of 11, 12 or 13 have done marvels of housekeeping during the absence or sickness of the mother, usually doing far better than girls of 17, 18 or 19? The Neighborhood House class uni form consists of blue striped gingham cap, apron and sleeves, the result be ing quite picturesque. Omelets, for the Juniors, and sponge cake, for the seniors, were lesson topics the day I was there, and the products were most creditable in all cases. Miss Germaine .Samuel and Mrs. Colin assist Mrs. Miller in these very interesting classes. Dotty Dolly's Riddle. By May Delllng-. "Guess my riddle, Mr. Man." said little Dotty Dolly Drake. 'If brother Jack a flower was Tell what one he best would make. "A round and pink carnation. Because his cheeks are pink? A pretty poppy, 'cause they're red? I'm sure I cannot think! "Or is he like a tulip. Because two lipa has he? It isn't lady-slipper. For a lady he can't be. "Perhaps it's a sunflower. As he rises with tlie sun So he can play football enough Before the day Is done?" But little Dotty Dolly Drake (Just shook her curly head: "Oh. can't you Ruess. you stupid man!' And then she laughing- said: "I'll have to tell you. it's so "hard. My own cftii-nun-do-rum. Why. with his yellow foothall hair. He'd be a chryasthemum!"
