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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (May 21, 1905)
'48 THE SUNDAY OBEGONIAN,, PORTLAND, MAY 21, 1905. "TOMORROW THOU SHALT BE MISSED" SERMON BY DR. NEWELL D WIGHT HILLIS, PASTOR OF PLYMOUTH CHURCH, BROOKLYN Text: "Tomorrow thou halt be mlwd. be cause thy place shall be empty" Samuel, l:xx., whole' chapter. THESB words throw a sidelight upon tho friendship between David and Jonathan. David, the shepherd boy, had , everything to gain by tho new tie a friend at court, an open sesame to the palace, the favor of the King himself. Contrariwise, Jonathan had everything to lose; in lifting David Into eminence, the Tieir to tho throne risked his own future, and helped transform the people's cham pion into a popular idol. But Jonathan was as true as steel and as tender as a woman. Ho loved David as he loved his own soul. Because that love was -wonderful, passing the love of woman, their friendship, like that of Damon and Pythias, will ever be celebrated In song and story. But Saul, the King, was cold and calculating, prudent and far-sighted. He wished to sec his throne securely set tled upon his son and his own name and fame handed forward forever. He feared, too, lest the fame of David might eclipse the" name o Jonathan. Events soon proved that Saul was right. No sooner was David enthroned in the palace as the bosom friend of Jonathan, than this boy, with the sun In his hair and smile, won his way Into all hearts, gained the hand of the daughter of the palace and a seat at the King's table. Every day, also, -the people thought less and less of Jonathan, and more and more of David. Then an unexpected event brought on a catastrophe. One evening, when David was passing through the streets toward the palace, the people surrounded him and cheered him, saying that Saul had slain his thousands and David his tens of thousands. In a sudden outburst of en thusiasm the crowd lifted David to their shoulders and bore him with shoutings to the palace. It happened that Saul was standing on the balcony and, looking down upon the scene, his blow was black with anger. That night the jealous King cought the young man's life. Then, for Jonathan the whole structure of happi ness fell into ruins. David, his friend, prepared to flee under cover of darkness, but before he fled the two friends met for a final farewell. Each knew that the friendship was forever interrupted. To morrow hired assassins would be on David's track, and even if the boy es caped Jonathan felt that the inevitable hour named death would be postponed but for a brief time. "Whether his friend David died tomorrow, or not until ripe age, at best the end would come soon. Anticipating that end and forecasting the rounding out of his career, Jonathan ex claimed: "Tomorrow thou shalt be missed, ,for thy place shall be empty." Then the wo young me 4, tearing themselves asun .separata In the darkness, with the promlse.the me to the other,, to make ready if or the end, and to round out tho life 'career. Short f.he Longest Life. Since that far- jff scene, full 20 centuries have come an'd one. The tombs of David and Saul are dist, and the city itself is a ruin, but th? shortness of life is a fact that still ho6s this far-off generation. For swiftness our life isllkc the wea ver's shuttlg i!Ue the. bird's flight, like an arrow that rises only to fall again. The life, even of the strongest man. is a flame on the candle, that for a moment burns up brightly, then flickers, to die out forever It is this fact that makes a community or a congregation like unto a series of moving pictures. ye journey on from births to deaths, from weddings to funerals, the light and the dark being strangely Intermingled. Certain men are, indeed, so busy with their task as to be obliviou? to all that goes on around them. For that reason they do not realize what a dissolving phantasmagoria life is. These men think that their generation is moving slowly, inpcrceptlbly, towards the end, a movement not unlike that of the glaciers in Switzerland. When the sci entists investigate some Mer dc Glace, they fix their instruments of observation on the sides of the rocky valley. Then poles are fastened to the glaciers. Three months later the observer takes his ob servation afresh, sighting across, and finds the glacier has moved a few feet on the sides, and many feet In the middle. But, in Alaska, there is a sharp, wedge likc valley that runs straight into the top of a mountain many thousand Xect high. Swiftly the vast quantities of snow and ice come sliding down, and tho trav eler sees tho river, as it were, ever mov ing forward. Before men's eyes the river flows, huge blocks of Ice break off and sail away to return to that infinite sea Horn which they came. And for wonder ful men, not otherwise Is It with our gen eration, that moves forward with im perceptible swiftness, life dissolving be fore bur very eyes. A Mechanism Thut Soon Wears Out. But the brevity of life gets fresh meaning' when Ave consider it from the viewpoint of the scientist. In the German University is a man who meas ures the life force of each student. This scholar has made a study of tho human body as a piece of mechanism. .He tells us that a man of 150 pounds Is made up of 120 pounds of water, 23 pounds of carbon, 7 of lime,. 2 of gela tin, with 2 ounces of salt. These ele ments are so hold together by the vital spark that the physical engine will run 50 years, provided tho Arcs arc shut off early each night and the boiler run at gentle pressure and the engine never racked by rapidity. But under present economic conditions he thinks that -40 years of work is a lilgh average. He adds that all of the Sundays and at least 15 holidays must be added for cooling the bearings and guarding against fric tion. In his estimate lie figures that the youth of 20 years old has 40 years, of -300 working days each, or 12,000 days. The scholar insists that eight hours are all that the engine will stand, if it Is to run for 40 years. This gives 96,000 hours for one's Hfo work, for the founding of a home, the estab lishment of business, the building a bridge, the Invention of tho tool, the building of a good name, the acqulsl tion of a holy character. If you are 20 years old you have 96,000 hours left; If 30 years old. 72,000: if 40 years old. 4S.O0O hours; if SO, 24,000 hours; if 60, you will have 12,000 hours, If 70, you have a little handful of perhaps 500 hours. And what a beggar's handful it Is. How soon swallowed up by time, as snow flakes in a river. Such consider ations give us pause la retrospect they tell vs this Snraraar vacation has made permanent chasges la our gener atlon. FrlesfeMpc 0ave bees Inter rupted that "will never be renewed. Partnerships have been dissolved with out the partners understanding it. The book you have just read will never again be opened. Scats tomorrow will be empty that will never again be Ailed. Whatever you do must be done quick ly. The night come.th when no man can -work.' For tomorrow, or on the morrow's morrow, you will be missed, for your place shall be empts. Today Is Very Urgent. If wo stand afar off from life and view it in Its totality, we characterize It by threo phases the past controlled by memory, the present presided over by aspiration, the future governed by hope. But, strangely enough, the av erage man forgets his past, is un conscious of his present and lives only in the future the one part of his life that Is shadowy, uncertain and non existent. It has been wisely said that the shrin9 of memory represents a tem ple that Is always empty, but the tem ple where hope dwells Is always crowd ed with worshipers, and her forehead is a lays wreathed with flowers. It seems all but impossible for the youth to say that for him there is no tomor row, that the next grave digged In the waving grass will be his grave, or that , tomorrow ho shall be missed, because i his seat will be empty. Therefore, to-: morrow eclipses today with Its great- j ness. But life's greatest word Is now. Time is a relative thing and, strictly j speaking, the present alone is life. Op portunity Is not In yesterday. Oppor tunity is not In tomorrow. Opportunity is here, or nowhere. Every day be gins with the angel of opportunity j standing upon the horizon and blow ing the trumpet and saying: "What 1 thou docs, do quickly." For every hour is big with destiny, every moment is freighted with possibility. The hour may not be long, as the hand ticks off the golden drops named min- i utes, yet one hour was long enough for Warren Hastings to hear how his fath- j er lost an estate and long enough also to make plans for Its recovery. In the j Western forest the rainstorm drbve the farmer's boy into a cabin and for an hour tne rain fell in torrents, but in a chink between the logs was a copy of Aesop's Fables, and that hour was long enough for the youth to fill his mind with pictures, upon which he afterward patterned his stories and parables as martyred President. An hour is long enough for us to read a great chapter that will change the current of life, to make a holy resolve that will exalt the level of our activity. It is long enough to wipe -Gut an old enmity, to form a new friendship. The secret of failure Is drifting, delay, the dissipation of time, of thought, pf friendships and emotions. This is what Cervantes means when he says that most men dwell in a house named By-and-By, on a street called Never. Therefore, God bath appointed an antidote for all these errors and perils. He would sober life, steady it, lend It ballast and In time of storm anchor it by the reflection that tne career will soon be ended and our spiritual Waterloo either won or lost forever. It Is the part of wisdom and prudence, therefore, for each one of us to reflect today that tomorrow we shall be misscJ, because our place shall be empty. Warning for the Mature mid Old. Jonathan was a young man when this word of warning was crowded home upon him. But if it Is important for youth to remember that the days are few and brief, how much more important for those who have reached middle life. In view of the few days that are left, alas for him who postpones his tasks, puts off his duties, delays his plans and overcrowds his to morrow. One of the most striking Inci dents in the career of that great man, Abram Hewitt, was an incident that oc curred just before his death. One day a gentleman called upon Mr. Hewitt and expressed a desire to visit the Cooper Institute. It seemed that the merchant was forecasting the end of his life, and was making plans for some form of pub lic benefaction. Having a large property, he did not know whether to distribute It, to give it to a hospital, to a college or a church. But when the man left Mr. Hew itt he had apparently made up his mind. A few months passed, the merchant died, and the will was probated. But the man had done nothing. Then Mr. Hewitt said that during the past 23 years he had been approached by perhaps 50 men, who were bankers and manufacturers and mer chants, who had accumulated a largo property and were planning how they might invest it so as to make themselves unconsciously immortal. That being dead, they might still live and npeak and work and Influence their fellows. But tho old merchant added that these men almost without exception thought they had done enohgh when they talked about what they were going to do for society. For some reason, they could not believe that tomorrow their seat would be empty. For them the important word was the future. Tomorrow they would be generous, tomor row they would endow a school, tomorrow they would build a library. Tomorrow they would search out some poor youth and send him to college, tomorrow they would be generous to some poor family. Will they? No; theso things will never be done. He who docs not do his work today will never do It. If the resolve at the present moment is not strong enough to securo action, think you that when time has weakened the resolve, and halved it. that the decision will be reached? For the middle-aged, by way of pre-eminence. the great word Is NOW. Are you going to make a will? Make it today. Are you ever going to be generous? Be generous now. Are you going to insure your fam ily? Do it tomorrow morning. Have you harvested great wisdom as a merchant? Find some poor clerk and stamp your Ideals of business into his mind forever. Remember that the night cometh. "To morrow also thou ehalt be missed, for thy seat shall be empty." AVJsc "Word for Young Men. -But no man is so young but that he will be the better for remembering this counsel of David. Ton deem your treas ure, young men, to "be your youth, health and strength, and the power of recupera tion, all yours. Tours, too. the eager. hungry mind, tho plastic memory, yours the power of casting yourself with en thaslasm into some great cause of reform. or department of study. The young man is like a General with ten thousand sol diers or helpers beside him, standing for the ten thousand hours or opportunities. aj&i the eld bu U like the Grweral whose host Is reduced to a handful. But do not presume upon your youth and op portunities. Opportunity never comes twice. Once she opens her golden gates for you to pass through, but if you delay the doors swing to, and closing they close forever. Most young men are slain by overburdening their tomorrows. Today they enjoy, today they give themselves to games and pleasure; tonight thero will be the theater and dissipation; but, oh, in that golden temple named tomorrow, hopo whispers there will be a bag of gold lying at the altar. How many ducats will there bo in that bag? Not one, young man, unless you ccaso your present course of living. But another youth there Is, who at 50, standing in that temple, will And the bag overflowing with pieces of gold. And whence came these yellow disks? They came In this fashion. Every day being young, the youth saved up one golden circle through his economy and his spirit, and sent it forward, and his far off future of success was simply the point at which his many and noblo yesterdays emptied out their treasure. Tomorrow's wisdom and tho ripe honors that come to the scholar, with the wreaths of fame. represent yesterday's study, and each year in the past brought one leaf, and many years brought many leaves, and all the leaves were wrought into one laurel wreath of immortal fame. For It Is not enough that a young man should want to bo rich. Tomorrow he must open the furrow and sow the seed, and reap the harvest, and then old age will bo a granary where the sheaves are garnered. All this perchance goes rfght In the face of your present method of life, as a young man gay and frivolous, as a young man flitting from pleasure to pleasure, as a butterfly from flower to flower. But be not deceived; Nature and God are not mocked. Whatsoever you sow, that you shall reap; whatsoever you plant, that you shall pick. Whatsoever you mete out to Nature, that will life measure back to you again. To the frivolous, life will give vanity; to tho careless, forgctfulness; to those who live for the body, to gluttony and drunkenness, she will give the jaded palate and the racked nerve. For Nature never makes a mistake in her book keeping. What Is your life? If I were a painter and could sketch rapidly while I talk, I would paint a tree, growing in some garden where dead sea apples are ripening with fruit stuffed with ashes and soot. I would show you the tree covered with webs of caterpillars, answering to your evil thoughts; with aphides cutting at the heart of the bud and blossom, put ting decay In the young fruit. At the root, the gopher, cutting off the founda tions of food and succor, answering to the secret sins. Until the boughs are blasted and the leaves are shriveled and Honored With Nation's Vote of Thanks AVIIliam P. Lukes, an Oregon City Laborer, Received Eighteen Sword Cuts, Defending His Captain. OKiXiur city, or.. May 15. (Special Correspondence ot The Sunday Ore gonlan.) William F. Lukes, who wears the medal of honor and received the thanks of Congress for valor during the Corean outbreak in 1S7L is employed as a common laborer at an Oregon City paper-mill. Lukes has had a most eventful career. Ho was left to shift for himself when but 9 years old, and became a cook. He went to California when but 15 years old, and prospected all over tho Coast He was mining in Mexico when Maximilian's army started for the City ot Mexico. He and his companions enlisted as privates and he was made a Captain for conspicu ous gallantry at tho battle of Acapulco. He was captured soon after, released on parole, rejoined Maxmllian, was cap tured again, and with two companions sentenced to be shot the next day. That night they broke out the blockhouse, swam a river and escaped. After Maxmilian's capture, Lukes drift ed out to China, and was in Tientsin dur ing tho massacre of 1SK). He enlisted In tho U. 5. S. Colorado and sailed with the fleet under Admiral Rogers to attack the Corean forts in 1S7L Under the command of Lieutenant Magce, his company land ed and engaged tho Corcans. After two days of fighting, tho natives were driven into one of their numerous forts. Two unsuccessful attacks were made upon it, and in the third Lieutenant Magec was killed. The command fell to Lukes, who was a petty officer, and the fort was cap tured. Lukes looked for the body of the com mander, and found that the Corcans were The "Jottings of Old Lim Juckiin" Oplc Head's Philosopher Utters Some Quaint TJcmarks on the Subject of Funeral Sermons. T is a pretty risky matter to tell I the exact truth all the time," said ojd Llmuel to tho young preacher, the Rev. J. Abner Smlthson. They, wore sitting in front ot tho black smith's shop, beneath a dogwood tree In bloom. Within the shop tho smith was nailing Iron on the hoofs of the preacher's horse. The company was not large, but, of course, included old Brizlntine. Abner J. Smithson was cultivating,' In this the first six months of his circuit-riding, the pro priety of solemn expression. Ho had attuned his voice to melancholy, had mastered the necessary sadness of eye, and was now shaping his general at titude toward woe-begoncness. He had not yet reached tho happiness of the gos pel, that cheerful acceptance of Galilee, that most uplifting of all philosophy, tire "Sermon on the Mount." "I think that all the truth is due at all seasons and at all hours of the day and the night." he replied, casting a sorrowful look upon old Lim. "Well, with a certain amount of lee way," said Lim. "When they asked the Savior if he would pay tribute to Rome, he could have said yes or no, but he looked at the imago on the coin and said. 'Ren der unto Caesar the things that are Cae sar's. That was a sort of leeway. The most effective truth can he told by an Il lustration, and yet it would seem like a-dodgin of the truth. The apparent shift brings out the brightest colors of the truth. Now, Abner, suppose you were called on to preach the funeral of our old friend Brizlntine. Would you tell the truth?" j "What do you want to drag mo into It for?" Briz spoke up. "Do you always neei me to fetch out your p'Ints?" No, not always," said Lim. "You, ain't particularly useful in the illustratln' of a truth, but you are generally close afceut the tree itself gaunt and bare, when the Summer Is past. For all these outer sym bols portray those Inner vices that ate slowly destroying your character at Us center. What man Is not conscious of some error and mistake In "building his life? Time offers opportunity for correc tion, but the time is short for slaying the evil and planting the good. Turn away forever from your old life, burn all your bridges behind you, pledge fealty to a new career. The hour Is sublime with Its possible issues. Act quickly, for tomor row thou shalt be missed, for thy place shall be empty. No Man Hus Done Enough for So ciety. Wise and prudent men who wish to make the most of their gifts will find here Incitement to Increasing influence If tomorrow wo shall be gone, then today let us do one more good deed, speak one more kind word, recover one more prodi gal, plant one more vine of happiness, open one more fountain of well-being. Too often old men seek leisure, withdraw from active life. So far from wishing to die with the harness on, they Insist that they have dono enough for society, and that the time has come -for young men to do the work. Over in England there is a most Impressive spectacle. The great statesman of his day I had almost said England's only great statesman has Just resigned from the Cabinet. The man is nearly 70 years of age. Years ago he was called the Cabinet breaker, because he withdrew from Mr. Gladstone, for he be lieved that tho solid nation was an issue paramount to a great man named Mr. Gladstono (though many of us regretted his action). Ho has been one of the best hated men of his time, and now he has. by his resignation, brought down upon himself abuse, vituperation, hatred be yond all description. So far from seek ing retirement, he has stripped himself like an athlete and entered upon a task that asks for fullness of strength and 25 years of time. At bottom his position Is this that England Is to recover her supremacy only by forming closer ties with her colonics; that Canada and Aus tralia and South Africa arc now closer to England, through the new steamships, than the Islands of Orkney once were; that the time Is soon coming when the English-speaking people of - 300,000.000 will combine against the other 1.200,000.000 of the earth; that the time is not long enough for the new laws, the new trea ties of commerce, the new relations that must be developed between the English speaking people. -The statesman feels that the time is short; that the work is great; that the little petty discussions about 2 per cent tariffs are for those who j I William 1'. Luke. I I i i,--.-. ....... ........... .4 earning it off to the mountains. Calling for volunteers, but two men responded. They soon overtook the retreating. Co rcans and a desperate hand-to-hand fight took place When reinforcements arrived the marines found Lukes with IS sword wounds lying unconscious across the body of his commander and his companions and help us to fetch things home. Yes. and now, Abner, suppose Briz was dead and '' "I object," Brizlntine interposed. "Of course, you object," said Lirauel. "You've been objectln' a good many years, tryln to homestead as many days as pos sible, stakin' out the weeks and foreclosin on every month you can; but the time Is a-comin' when you " "Can't you talk about something Icctlc more cheerful, Llmuel?" Briz Insisted. "Oh. this is cheerful enough. Yes, Ab ner, suppose Briz was dead and you were called on, to preach his funeral. Would you. tell tho exact truth about him?" "I could And many good things to say in his behalf." the youth replied. "Yes, that's to be supposed. But would you tell the folks that the worst beatin I ever got In a horse swop I got 'from him, and on a Sunday at that? Would you tell 'em that him and mo had f)t roosters in a barn by the light of a tallow candle?" The young preacher sighed. His sigh was not as yet fully developed, but he was improving. He sighed and said: "I should not mention such foibles." "This here subject is like a hot potato, and T wish you'd drap It," said Briz. "What," Llmuel spoxe up. "don't you want to serve in the Interest ot truth? Jest keep quiet a. while. Foibles, eh. Abner? Well. now. life's putty much made up of foibles. That part of a human which is most human is a foible. Of course, Briz don't know what a foible Is he 'lows mebby it's somethln' to eat. but we'll let that go. No, sir, Abner, you'd git up there and rare- and snort over what a good church member Briz was, jest as if goln' to church and acknowl edging that the preacher had put forth a powerful effort was the sum total of lite. You'd say he loved his fellow man. when the fact Is he loves a hog better hogs jowl with mustard greens. And durin the time we would set there and agree with you, kaowia that we were all liars. Now. Briz he Is ail right putty much ay sort f a raant caseee wkea he feels. are young, but he will do the great thing, emphasize essentials, stand for principles that abide and let the secondary things go forever. This man of nearly 78 has undertaken an enormous task. It Is work . for a giant. It demands a score of years and the fullness of strength, when he has but a handful. But It Is a sight for the world to admire, that a man, when others seek leisure, rushes into the heart of the fray, covets tho hardest task, seeks to win one more great victory for uis coun try and to lift his people to new levels of prosperity and wealth. Time may dis-f provo his theory and discredit his judg--ment. but to the end of time men will admire the man who crowds his old age with new duties and toils-as one who re members that tomorrow "I shall be missed, because my seat shall be empty." Forecast of the End. In the closing hour of his career, when Jesus Christ rose, into the upper realm of Intellection, ho used only the most powerful forms of truth. At that time, when he was preparing his disciples and his generation for his departure, he gave them three parables on the shortness of life and the duty of rounding out one's work. He likened the soul, with all its treasures of sense, to a palaco or ances tral mansion, with noble halte and vast libraries and gallery, stored with per chance the portraits of one's ancestors, marbles, pictures, tapestries, ivories and bronzes, treasures from India, art curios from Egypt, wedges of gold and bars of silver. In the storehouso of the mansion are fruits and foods against the Winter, and In the strongbox the family plate. When the householder goes into a far country, he gives all In charge of a trust ed servant, and commits to him the key of the strong box. but no sooner is his master gone than the servant calls in his companions, who,- with him, enter upon a drunken orgy. Drunken, they consume the precious liquors; gluttons, they waste the food. They strip the prec ious tapestries from the walls and sleep on them as swine on the husks. Avari cious, they break into the strong box; careless, the smoke begrimes the wall. Suddenly, in the midst of their carous ing, the lord of that mission returns home. And Jesus tells us that so is the coming of the San ot Man. It is un expected, like the coming of a thief in the night; it is sudden, without any pre monition. He charges men, therefore, to live under the shadow of that over world. On the morrow you shall enter Into God's presence, and give an account of every Idle word and deed. This forecast, he says, should sober life, steady it, make proud men modest, make strong men humble, make the rich and pros perous remember the source of their pros perity, make the poor to reflect that their troubles were but for a day; tomorrow they will be over. The rain and the frlendlcssness are but for an hour. To morrow the door shall open into the father's house, and then, oh, all forgot ten, the ice and hail and the fire blast. Therefore watch, be ready. What thou doest, do quickly, "for tomorrow thou shalt be missed, for thy seat shall be empty." (Copyright, 1903, by McClure, Phillips & Co.) dead. Scattered 'around them were the bodies of 16 Corcans. The carbine which Lukes carried In that engagement is in the Museum at Washington. The steel barrel was cut half-way through by a great two-handed sword carried by one of tho Corcans. Magee's body was shipped to America for burial, while the man who rcscued.it lay 39 days unconscious from the 18 sword cut3 he had received on the head. Then he suffered from three or four epileptic fits a day. Surgeon-General Gilchrist op- crated on him at Yokohama, and then he was sent to the Brooklyn Naval Hos pital, where a number of other operations were performed. He was discharged from the Navy on account of his Infirmity, and soon after Inherited $1S,000, which he spent for treatment and operations at the hands of the greatest specialists both in this country and Europe without ob taining beneficial results. After his discharge he was given a vote of thanks by Congress, breveted a Cap tain, and received the medal of honor upon which Is engraved: "For valor. Will lam F. Lukes, landsman and a member of Company D, U. S. S. Colorado. Can ture of Corean Forts, Juno 11, 1S7L" He now receives a pension of "$30 per month under special act of Congress. This allow ance will be increased to 572 per month when he reaches the ago ot 60 years. Mr. Lukes Is now In his 59th year. He cialms tho distinction of being the only man living to wnom Congress voted Its thanks. Lukes speaks fluently the Scandinavian, Russian, German and English languages. anu Dciorc locating at Oregon City un sucessfully prospected In tho mining dis tiict in Southern Oregon. like it and a man that don't has got a Kooa aeai ot tne liyoercrlt In him; don't work on Sundav. It's trut fnn rnnt hanker after work at any time. Just a natural sort of a man and yit. if he was .10 aie yoaa mako him a saint. There nas been more lies told In prcachln' funerals than In makln' love and they wan't .half as necessary." The youth sighed. "All funeral orations are not lies," he said. "No. mebby not. And now I remember one mat was tne trutn. .Bin Henly used to live down the river owned nearly all that country. He was a great traveler anu a smart man. Well, one day he went to a preacher and says to him. says he: Parson, do you think you could preach a truiniui runeral sermon?' Without a moment's thought, the preacher said hn could. 'I think so, too.' replied Henly; 'that Is. after I give you the points. And 11 you onng em out just as I give em to you. why, I'll pay you what It Is worth. Now. listen and mark me. Nobody -In the neighborhood knows tho age of this man nor his name. So far as we know he never told his age, never uttered a He. never cheated, never talked about his ncignoors. never voted the wrong ticket never did a thing objectionable, so far a we know. He Is at my house. I have Invited a few friends. Come over and preach his funeral.' Well, the preacher went. A few people gathered under the trees In the yard. The coffin was placed on two chairs. The parson stepped for ward and looked at a hit nf Tvatvo nr. which he had taflen down all that Henly naa Baia. Then he began, and he stuck to his text for quite a while, but after a time he began to wander off. He towered in his praise of the deceased. He saw that Henly was pleased and he went fur ther. He took Inspiration from Henlv. countenance. He knew that this was some poor old stranger that Henly was buryin out ot charity. And when he got tnrougn wltn him Henly shook his hand ana saia: -uooa Duny. Tne parson wai sorter astonished. 'Do you want some thin' said at the grave?' he. Inquired. ""No said Henly. Tra not sola' to bury him just yet He's cost me so much Tm goln' to keep aim a while. Would you Seasonable Specials Our four-days' cut-price sale was remarkably successful. Throngs of busy buyers crowded our store from the opening to the closing hours. Many men saved a week's salary in making their purchases here. The people know that when we advertise a cut-price sale, the price is invariably and truly cut no fake advertising goes here. This week "we shall present specials in high-grade goods. N. B. Do not overlook our little balcony sales. $30 BUFFET $20 471. This is a handsome piece of furni ture that ordinarily sells for $30.00 and Is so priced in our salesroom but we are going to make it a special this week for only $20. But one will be sold at this price first to come the one to get the bargain. It is golden oak. hand poish. has heavy French plate mirror, 17x33 inches, top is 18x42 inches, handsome serpentine front, three drawers, two doors, -handsomely finished, heavy brass trimmings. The workmanship is thor ough in every detail. Inspection will convince you or tne rare bargain here offered. Call for No. 471 and take it at.... $15 Dressing Table hi ni No. 41. A very handsome little dress ing table, worthy of any home. Made of quarter-sawed oak, hand polished, has French plate glass, inches, top 18x23 Inches. IT -J -tf Always sold for 513.00; this 13 week it is cut down to r Go-Carts That Go They have been going all week at a pretty brisk pace, owing to the money-saving cut we have made in the price. There's a window full of them yet. and the sale continues a few days longer. These carts are the regular $3.00 kind: they have wood back, cloth seat, wicker dashboard, rubber tires, fold reclining or flat, and the mechanism is easily adjusted. You will need it this Sum mer on the Fair grounds. For (T 4 ir a few days longer a 53.00 IL fl folding go-cart for only A Little Special Balcony Sale In our store there is a little balcony that has never been of any service, and wc have determined to utilize it the coming week in a special sale of small articles, bric-a-brac, etc. It will pay you to keep your eye on that balcony. Changes made every day. Here's a sam ple: A $2.75 taborette for $1.75; a beautiful water set. 75c;- a 23c glass sugar shak.cr, with nickel top, 13c: a mahogany dressing-table thalr, regular $11 for $6.o0. Keep your eye on the balcony! I. GEVURTZ & SONS 173-175 First Street. 219-227 Yamhill like to look at the man you have talked so familiar about?" The parson 'lowed he would, and Henly took the lid oft the box. Inside there wag tho old fellow an Egyptian mummy. The folks they tittered and the preacher didn't like It. He said Henly had fooled him. 'No,' said Henly, '1 gave you the facts and you fooled yourself.' And Briz," old Lemuel added, "I should think the best way to preach our funerals would bo to wait about 5000 years after wc are dead. That length of time seems long to be llvin', Abner, but to the dead It ain't a minute. And It Julius Caesar should awake he'd say, 'Oh, no, I haven't been asleep Jest dozed off a little. The church Is im provin all tho time. Abner; sends fewer children to everlastln torment, but it hasn't reached a point yit when it can afford to tell the -truth at a funeral. To tell tho truth wouldn't be just to the liars that are left 'Irwin'. There Is one thing the preacher always thinks he can say of a deceased and tell the truth, and that Is to call him a- useful citizen. And the fact Is, after he's dead the neighborhood Improves." The youth sighed again- "Ah, Mr. Juckiin, since we have supposed the case In the er fictitious death of Mr. 'Brizln tine. let us be truly absurd "and suppose that you were to preach your own funeral oration. What would you say?" "He has got you now," laughed Briz. "Not necessarily," Lim replied. And after a moment he continued: "Why. Abner. I'd say somethln like this: 'Old Llmuel Juckiin lies here before you. He never claimed even to have shaken hands with a saint. If he didn't do the best he could, he tried to make himself believe he did. But the Lord is a better judge ot him than he was of hlmfelf. Amen." (Copyrighted. 1D03.) OPIE READ. RUSE OF BRIDE AND GROOM Host Railroad Tickets and Quarreled Over Them to Fool Passengers. "I have traveled as a Pullman conduc tor for 25 years and have seen hun dreds of newly married couples," said a man with a blue suit and bright brass buttons as a Santa Fe train came into the Union Depot at Kansas City the other day, "but not until this trip did I ever sea a bride and groom who could keep the public from knowing they were on a honeymoon trip. But- this couple about which I speak certainly did fool me to perfectlon- "A handsome young ssan and as blush $20 ParlorTables $12.50 You have never been offered such an opportunity to add a beautiful cen ter table to vour parlor as in this instance. The table is a handsome round top. 24 inches in diameter, piano-polished mahogany, well worth the original price. But it Is one ot our leaders, and all wo rqucst is that you call at the store and examine it. t-f fffk A $3.50 Rocker for $2.50 S53S A handsome Rocker with ma hogany finish, cobbler seat, high ly polished, very pleasing in de sign, easy and comfortable. Sells res- uiarly ror 53.50. It Is your own by asking for .$2.59 the above number and paying Desk Men Will find this store decidedly the proper place to come for Office Desks. Stools and Chairs. A largo stock and prices absolutely right and goods of first quality. Call when you need any thing In this line. Glad to show you our roll-top, flat-top, standing and com bination typewriter desks, whethcryou wish to buy or not. S-foot Desks $21.00 I 4- foot 27.00 5- foot - 33.03 . ing, beautiful girl got In my car at Chi cago as we started West. I noticed ..hat 'the man sat down very selfishly and im mediately began reading a newspaper, as if he didn't know a winsome little woman was sitting beside him. He had a 3ial and haughty air about him and I rather disliked him for his lack of courtesy. Pretty soon I went around to collect tickets and asked him for them. Without taking his eyes from his paper he said, 'Mary, give the man the tickets and went on reading. " 'You know I haven't the tickets, quickly replied the woman. 'Then you've lost them,'-retorted the angry husband, 'for I gave them to- you before wo got on the train.' ' " 'You didn't either,' his wife rerticao " T did " 'You didn't.' " 'I know I did.' " 'And I know you didn't. Do you mean to say I tell what isn't true?' " 'No, but I'm sure you've lost tho tickets.' Teplied the husband with a look of extreme disgust in his countenance. "I saw trouble was brewing and told them I would return later to get the tickets." continued the Pullman conduc tor as he told his story to a crowd around him. "When I went-back the man was reading and the woman was pouting-. Tho tickets were In a seat across from them, and I checked them up. Not a word was spoken as I returned -the tickets to the woman and left. "A fellow in the car asked mo If that was a newly married couple, and I in formed him it certainly wasn't, for both man and woman fussed too much for that. I offered to bet him they had beei married ten years. "Well, we finaly reached El Paso, Tex., where the man and woman were to get off the train. As the train slowed up the man called me to him and said: " 'Look here, old man. you've been rath er nice to us and we want to let ypu into a little secret. We were married i"st before getting on this train. That fuss about the tickets was all arranged be fore we started and I bought the news paper just to make the bluff good. Dpn t you think we behave well for bride and groon3? " Norwegians Longest Iilvcd. The Norwegians are longest lived of the European people, and the Span lards the shortest. The average dura tion of life in these foreign countries is as follows: Norway. 50: England, 45; Belgium. 44; Switzerland , 44; France. 43; Austria, 30; Germany, W; Italy, 33; Bavaria. 38. and Spain, 32. "
