Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (March 19, 1905)
THE SUNDAY, OREGONIAN, PORTLAND, MARCH 19, 1905.
Chauncey M. Depew on American Oratory
ESTIMATES OF PUBLIC MEN OF THE PAST GENERATION PRESENT-
DAY " SPELLBINDERS "
A GIEAT SPECIAL SALE
OP IRON AND BRASS BEDS
This week we expect two cars of Iron Beds from East. In order to close out
our present stock, especially those one of a kind, we offer some extraordinary
values. It will pay you to supply present and anticipate future wants at this great
price-saving sale. In addition we sell on easy terms $1 down, $1 per week.
UNITED STATES SENATOR CHAUNCEY MITCHELL DEPEW, the
Junior member from New York in the upper house of Congress, Is per
haps the most versatile man in that body of talented gentlemen. There
are many good lawyers, many good business men, many good speakers,
many profound thinkers and many gifted orators among them, but none
who combines all these qualifications to the same extent as Mr. Depew.
Beginning life as a lawyer, almost half a century ago, he took to
stump-speaking quite as naturally as a duck takes to water. From this to
after-dinner speaking was, to him, a perfectly natural 6tage In his career
as an orator. Then, when demands were made upon him to deliver the
opening addresses Upon great public happenings such as the opening of
the "World's Fair at Chicago, the dedication of the Statue of Liberty in New
York Harbor and the like, he rose to the -occasion. Nobody knows how
many speeches Mr. Depew has delivered during his 60 years of public
speaking, but It may he safely asserted that he holds the record; nor
can any other speaker be recalled who is equally efficient upon the stump,
on th'e rostrum, in the courts, in the halls of legislation and among the
good fellows who linger over post-prandlal coffee and cigars and enjoy the
brilliant sallies of wit and wisdom of the finished after-dinner talker.
As a business man his career is a lesson to the young. Beginning In
1866 as counsel for the "Vanderbilt interests, he held every position of respon
sibility In their gift, which required great executive and administrative
ability, displaying powers of concentration and application which -made
Wm Invaluable to his employers.
His political career is no less remarkable. At the age of 25 he was a
member of the Assembly of New York, then Secretary of State; next he
was made United States Minister to Japan, but declined. One office after
'another was proffered him during the ensuing 20 years, but he refused all
of them, making his re-entry Into political life In 1SSL when be was an un
successful candidate for the seat vacated by the sensational resignation of
Thomas C. Piatt, his present colleague. Pour years later the Senatorshlp
was formally tendered to him, but he declined. Then he received 69 votes
for the Presidential nomination at Chicago in the Republican National
Convention which chose Benjamin Harrison as its candidate, and was
largely instrumental in bringing- about that result. Finally, in 1S99, he
took his seat in the United States Senate, to which he was re-elected at
the present session of the Legislature of New York.
Hale and hearty to an extraordinary degree. Senator Depew, at the
age when most men think of retiring to private life, presents a truly
remarkable example of the benefits of hard work combined with proper care
in the matter of temperance both in food and drink. Although he is one
of the most frequent of attendants at banquets, dinners and the like and
has been or 50 years, he shows none of the signs so common to men who
thus indulge themselves, which is to be attributed to the fact that, upon
those occasions, he eats sparingly and looks upon the wine-cup more fre
quently tflan he looks Into It.
His acquaintance among the public men both of this and former gen
erations is widespread and intimate, especially in the case of speakers
of all kinds. His recollections of some of them and his opinions as to their
merits will, therefore, be of unusual Interest. They are embodied in the
following article, which he has kindly dictated by special request:
BY CltCCNCEY M. DEPEW.
iY maldeA speech to the public was
dellvereS in the town of Cartland,
Nov YcSk, almost 50 years ago
and was the result of an accident. A
recent graduate o Yale, where I had
Imbibed anti-slavery notions and opin
ions from tha lips of Phillips, Garrison
and others, I returned to the home of
any parents iu 1S5P to find that all, or
most of my relatives were staunch
Democrats and pro-slavery advocates.
Tills fact, however, did not prevent my
attending Republican mass-meetings upon
every possible occasion. At one of these,
thejone In Cortland. George 'William Cur
tis was scheduled to speak to an audience
composed of 10 per cent Republicans and
SO per cent Democrats. He failed to
keep his appointment, through an un
avoidable delay. The crowd called upon
me to address them, thinking doubtless,
because of my family and its known loan
ing towards democracy, that I would mak
a pro-slavery speech and turn the tables
on the abolitionists. At the end of the
hour's talk I had with them, or to them,
-they were undeceived and thus, at one
and the same time, I made my advent
into the Republican ranks and began my
career as a public speaker.
Since that time I have never missed a
campaign either state or National. It is
but natural that I should, during the
many years which have elapsed since
my debut, have met on the stump many
eminent speakers of both political par
ties, and I am asked to give my Impres
sion of some of them, and to say, whether
in my opinion, public speaking really
accomplishes much, if anything In the
way of affecting the results of political
Decline of Stump Speaking.
I am inclined to think that stump
speaking; except in isolated localities is
not as productive of results In the pres
ent era as it was 50 years, or even ten
years ago. "While It serves to awaken
enthusiasm and greatly helps to get out
the vote, the main part of the work of
educating and instructing the voters is
now done by the newspapers and by the
tons of documents sent through the mails
to be read at home when the voter has
ample time to digest them. Thl3 prac
tice has been steadily growing, especially
since the establishment of the system of
rural free delivery by the Postoffice de
partment has made It possible to reach
the farmers with almost the same fa
cility that wa3 formerly the case with the
residents of the great cities. It is true
that these documents consist, in great
part at least, of speeches which have
been wholly or partially delivered on the
floor of the Senate or of the House of
Representatives in "Washington, and
which are the result of days, perhaps
weeks of thought and careful study upon
ihe part of those by whom they are ut
tered, or who were granted leave to print
them in the Congressional Record. And
these differ from stump speeches in sev
eral important respects. A stump speech
must be more or less anecdotal If Its
maker expects to hold his audience, or
unlets he be an orator of exceptional
ability and, brilliance. Men will sit by
their firesides at home and read an argu
ment from end to end, even though it
takes an hour or two to do it, but they
are not willing, as a rule, to stand for
the same length of time in the cool night
air in front of a dimly lighted platform,
or to sit in the crowded uncomfortable
seats provided for them in the Town
Hall, and listen to- it, unless they are
meanwhile amused or entertained by a
humorous or Interesting anecdote inject
ed into it. For this reason. I am in
clined to believe that the documentary
arguments now sent to all parts of the
country in every national campaign, are,
to an extent at least, supplanting the
spell-binder" and limiting his usefulness.
The latter is still potent, however, as a
magnet with which to draw the voter
from his lethargy and to feet him think
ing, thus preparing the soli upon which
the fruit bearing seed may be sown
to a better . advantage by the printed
speeches and statistics which may there
after be sent to him.
"Lightning Change" Orators.
The art of stump-speaking has also un
dergone a radical change. Fifty years
ago the speaker was thought to have per
formed his full duty If ho spoke to three
audiences within a week. Now It is no
uncommon thing for a spell-hindor to
make as many as 20 speeches between the
rising and setting of the sun and even
higher records than that have been made.
All this is possible, first, because the
speeches are much shorter, those of the
sood old times being from three to four
hours in duration, while 15 minutes Is
shout the average nowadays for the
touring "spellbinder." and, second bc
n&u the railroads can 'haul a. man
hundreds of miles in the same number
-f hours that the stagecoach took to
iriuwport him a dozen. This latter fea
ture, which may be termed the "light
ning: change" part of the business, re
quires considerable powers of endur
ance and no small measure of mental
agility. The former Is requisite for
reasons which mu6t be at once appar
ent, while the latter is a prime essen
tial because of the necessity for local
izing; each address to fit the town or
hamlet In which it is delivered. For ex
ample, it would not do at all to deliver
a speech having for Its principal theme,
the prosperity of a community In which
the largest factory had recently closed
down for want of business.
My Initiation into the "lightning
change" artists' class took place in 1S96,
when the late President McKinley, then
at the head of the Republican National
ticket, sent for me to come to Canton
for a consultation. "When I arrived he
told me he wanted me to do something
to offset the enthusiasm and admira
tion Mr. Bryan was creating.
"He is making 17 speeches, and talk
ing five hours a day." declared Mr. Mc
Edna Edwards' Sidetalks
No. I Chances for Amateur Gamblers Review of Card Games
By Edna Edward.
DID you ever gamble? If so, why?
Had you any justifiable excuse?
Perhaps you "only shook for the
drinks." In that case, either you got a
drink for nothing and your friend wast
ed what would have done more good
elsewhere, or your friend obtained a
free libation and you were out .the prico
of n pair of socks. To be sure, if your
friend lost, you gave him his revenge,
and the dice rolled again. If the loser
of the first throw lost again, he Insisted
on another change to get something for
nothing, and if the winner lost it was
"horse and horse," and absolutely nec
esary to "shake off the tie" to see
"who was the best man," and three
pairs of socks were darned by some
body's wife in consequence.
Had you any excuse? You were
"passing the time away?" You may
see the day when you will want the time
to linger longer. There is never a min
ute in any man's life In which he can
not be laying up something for the pro
verbial rainy day either physical or
mental strength, or cash. You never
laid up any of these in a barroom, and
there was only one thing you ever took
out of one which you didn't have when
you -went in and you wouldn't have
cared to have your wife or girl friends
see you with it, either, no matter how
much It cost!
Checks Versus Wife's Pocketbook.
Perhaps you gambled because your
family needed more things than your,
limited salary would allow, and you are
In the habit of taking a fiver occasion
ally and Investing it in a stack of whites
with, which to woo fickle Dame Chance.
If so, let me tell you that five silver dol
lars in your wife's pocketbook will
bring you more peace and contentment
than enough checks to cover a faro lay
out. "Why? Because, leaving tho moral
side of the question out altogether, you
so seldom take the cash value of the
checks home with you- You sit there
like an Idiot and watch those checks
vanish. "Easy come, easy go," is a
saying that will always hold good.
And you know that you lose oftener
than you win. Expensive gambling es
tablishments are supported entirely by
amateur gamblers. The conditions of
the game are prescribed, not by you.
but by your opponents In other words,
by "the house.'1 and tho mere fact that
its proprietor treats you with such uni
form courtesy should be ample projof
that he has an ax to grind.
But perhaps you boast your prowess
in "the "great American game of poker."
Think you you ran beat this game more
Terhaps You Only Shook for the Drinks."
Kinley. "Now, although you are 25
years older than he is. I believe you can
do the same thing. At any rate, I am
going to ask you to Iry It. and have ar
ranged for a train which will leave to
morrow morning and go over the same
route and stop an equal time at thu
places in which Bryan spoke, and yon
are to make 17 speeches, covering flv
hours. "Will you do it?"
torn hira I would, and I did it. I
also spoke two additional hours that
night at a big meeting at the end of
the route, after which Mr. McKinley
wired me that I had broken the snell
woven by Mr. Bryan, and that I might
The records of the late President Har
rison. Colonel W. J. Bryan. Senator
Falrchlld and President Roosevelt as
"lightning-change" artists in the
stump-speaking line are too recently
made to require review at this time, but
that of James G. Blaine will admit of it.
Mr. Blaine was one of the most versa
tile orators I ever listened to. speaking
many times each day at a different
place, and he always had something
new' to say. He consulted the local re
ception committee carefully, and rarely,
if ever, made a mistake, although ho
might have had me born In Poughkeep
sie. instead of in Peeksklll. If It .bad
not been for a fortunate accident.
We were touring New York Stato
during the campaign of 1884. and 1 was
acting as master of ceremonies that is,
I was Introducing Mr. Blaine to his au
dience. After we left Sing Sing, he
asked me where we should next stop.
I told him Peekskill, adding that I was
"Why," said Mr. Blaine, "I always
thought you were born In Poughkeep
sle." Then, when we stopped five minutes
later, and I began to introduce him, he
"No. no, fellow-citizens." he said,
pushing me back, "let me do the intro
ducing here. As I have passed up and
down your noble Hudson, upon its un
equaled floating palaces, for the past
20 years. I have felt the inspiration of
its scenery made famous by the genius
of Irving, but the deepest and tenderest
emotions possessed me when the
steamer was opposite Peeksklll. for
there." he said, "was born my oldest
and best friend. Chauncey Depew."
It is quite likely that this would have
been said to the people of Poughkeepsle
shortly after. If I had not told him I
was born in Peekskill.
Wendell Phillips' Power.
The most successful and powerful
speaker I ever hard was "Wendell Phil
Hps. He possessed the rare faculty of
rousing his audiences to the most fran
tic pitch of hostility against himself
and the cause he advocated, and then
by his eloquence subduing, capturing
and turning them into shouting enthu
siasts. George "William Curtis was. upon the
other hand, a lecturer rather than an
orator, and won his audiences by his
logic rather than by his eloquence.
Tom Corwjn was perhaps the greatest
of our stump-speakers, and could cap
ture voters for others by the richness
and abundance of his humor. He failed
to get them for himself, however, and
never rose to ' the position his ability
merited, because people would not take
Garfield, who also possessed a rich fund ;
times than you lose at it? You may be
right in saying that this Is a game In
which skill may triumph over a bad run
of luck in the matter of hands held, but
do not lose sight of the hungry "kitty."
Do not forget that in a 25-cent ante
game the "rake off" frequently amounts
to $100 a day if the game be full and
lively. Did you ever sit In a game Jn
which seven players each lost from $5
Did Yoa Ever Get the Other Barrel?"
to $20. No? "Well, Just watch next
time. You are skillful Indeed If you
overcome this percentage. Neither must
you forget that in all of the games
where there is a "rake off" and you
will not find one without, unless you
start It yourself "the house" has from
one to four representatives. Of course
this fact is not advertised in the daily
papers, but they are there. These men
are satisfied merely to "break, even,"
each conscious of tho fact that in the
course of the night about $10 of bis
money goes into the "rake off" box.
They, as a rule, play close, and rarely
make large winnings. Tfiey are on a
salary, or play for a percentage of their
profits. They are "good fellows." and
are ready to stand for a drink at any
time and the more you drink the more
they are pleased. True hospitality!
They take advantage -of all your weak
nesses and of their wide experience.
How "A Pair" Beat One "Jack."
Did you ever sit between two men
and discover that every time you raised
the pot the man on your left gave a
back raise, and when it came to the
man on your right you "got the other
barrel?" Then you dropped out and the
other fellows got your money. If you
"stayed," there were two chances to
put draw you. even if you had the best
hand to go. They can beat you at this
game as surely as you can beat them in
matters which come up at your office In
the course of a day's business.
It may be that you prefer faro bank
because In that the percentage against
youIs less than in other games in
which you play agalnt the house.
Would that I could give you a column
to each of these games instead 'of
squeezing them all Into one short arti
cle. I shall some time. If you "play the
bank" you know that every time two
cards of the same value shows on the
same turn the dealer takes half of all
checks on that card, or else places
them all on the high card. In which event
you have an even chance to get them all
back or none, as the "turn" may Tesult.
He is always ready to do the lat
ter on account of the possibility of an
other Isplit." In which event It Is four
to one against your ever placing those
checks in your pile again. Can't you
see that you have the worst end of
even this game, and do you not know
tliat money you obtain In this way Is
of humor, never allowed . himself to
gratify his love for It on the stump, "be
cause he held to the theory that the
American people would never ully trust
a humorist with high public office.
John Van Buren also possessed a wit
as keen as that of Sidney Smith, but
rarely used it on the stump, contenting
himself with a few lightning flashes at
the end of a somewhat prosy speech,
usually of two hours' duration, but his
hearers always waited la patience to
hear those few flashes.
Horatio Seymour was the moat polished
man I ever saw upon the platform. In
apparel as well as in his language he was
far and away above the average of his
auditors, but he held them spell bound
for hours at a time and they revered
him as they might have done an oracle,
uttering the riddles of life and death.
Rcscoe 'Conkllng was a marvelous cam
paigner, who always prepared his
speeches with caro and committed them
to "memory. Although he never con
sulted a note he rarely omitted a word
from the original text, and It Is said of
him that he once delivered an address
fonr hours' long during which a news
paper man held a copy of his speech, as
serting afterward tat Mr. Conkling de
livered It ad verbatim, ad literatim et ad
"William H. Seward's speeches were
marvels of beauty and excellence. Dur
ing the canvass for Mr. Lincoln, he de
livered three each week, none less than
C000 words in length, and each absolutely
new and as finished as the essay of a
collegian at graduation.
Horace Greeley's famous series of
speeches during his memorable, but dis-'
astrous campaign for the Presidency,
are the only efforts I can recall to equal
those of Mr. Seward.
Fascination of Public Speaking.
There is a fascination about public
speaking which takes a firm hold upon
these who practice it, whether on the
stump or elsewhere. Like an actor the
public speaker finds the acme of pleasure
in noting the effect of his efforts upon the
faces of his audience. Their applause Is
quite as sweet and their disapproval fully
as bitter to him as It Is to the most
sensitive disciple of Thespls. but. like
the latter, he may be mistaken in his
estimate of that effect. The crowd which
applauds him most heartily Is often the
one upon which he has produced the least
Impression, while one whose apparent
dullness fills him with despair holds many
a convert to his theories.
It Is In this fact that we must look to
And the origin of the term "spell-binder."
Unless I am mistaken It originated in
1888. during the candidacy of ex-Presl-dent
Harrison, when by reason of the
fact that my name had been presented
to the National Convention by the New
York delegation and I had withdrawn It
in favor of Mr. Harrison for the Presi
dential nomination. I. felt obliged to take
a more active part In the fight than
usual. This brought me frequently to
the room of the National Committee,
where I heard each speaker report that
he had "held the audiences spell-bound."
At the termination of the campaign we
held a banquet of glorification, over which
I was called upon to preside. No more
appropriate name than the "Spell
binders' Banquet" suggested Itself to me
and I so christened it. Hence. I believe,
the term, which has become part of our
political vocabulary. (Copyright by
and Players' Chances.
either brought back later and lost, or
else you spend It on questionable
amusements rather than to explain to
your wife where it came from?
Walking Home "Broke" Isn't Funny.
Perhaps you enjoy the music made
by the dear, little, white ball as It
gaily trips the light fantastic 'round
and 'round the whirling roulette wheel,
and bounces Joyously over the red,
black and silver trimmings while you
watch it with bated breath knowing
that it Is now a question of winning
or walking home! By the way did you
ever walk home? Do you remember
what your thoughts were? Did you
think of what you would tell your wife
In the matter of the grocery bill which
she had promised to pay from the lost
salary? Did you recall that there would
be five men at your office the next day
to collect those long overdue accounts?
Did you remember the loan shark -who
had an order on your salary, and who
was likely to turn said order in at the
next payday, and thereby make neces
sary another explanation to the dear
little woman at home who had mended
the children's clothing until it was
past another such treatment? Ah, yes!
You thought of that and swore by all
that was holy that you would never do
it again. But you did it again, now
didn't you? Did you lie to her? And did
the He hold good? Or was Jt the last
straw that broke her faltli in you? Did
you get on your knees and pray God
to help you break the pernicious habit?
Others have done so and succeeded, and
some have lone so and failed. How
did you come out? During this walk
did you remember all at once that you
were several hundred dollars In debt,
and that it would take months of pri
vation for your family to lift you out
of the slough.
Fallacy of "Getting Even."
Did you go back to the gambling-house
next payday because the sum received
for one week's work was so small that It
was simply an aggravation? If you did.
"Suppose Your "Wife Gambled!"
look at the present situauon with me. If
you had. since the night of your walk
home, put all the money earned Into
househoud bills, and those "old debts,"
you would have been able to look the
world In the face today Instead of con
templating bankruptcy as you are doing!
Now. some of the streets of this city are
closed to you and you need a map In
order to navigate with safety. You eat
cheap lunches far removed from your place
of business because you owe all the neigh
boring lunchrooms more than you can
pay. and there Is only one untried laundry
in town! You are paying ca3h,at the gro
cery now. because your credit is exhaust-
Handsome Iron Bed like cut. heavy
brass chills and posts, center body
-finished all colors enamel. A pretty
bed. Regular $12.00. Special 99.30
51.00 down, 51.00 per week.
S1H.OO 1UU. IJEIJ
A beautiful bed like cut. stands 6
feet high, heavy brass work, beau-
tlfully chilled: all colors. Regular
$1S.03. Special SI3.50
$1.00 down, $1.00 per week.
SI.OO DOWN, S1.GO PER WEEK
SPECIAL BARGAINS IX CARPETS.
The largest stock of Carpets in
the city at cut prices.
I. GEVURTZ &
ed. and you find it hard to do this because
all your debts are overdue. Xext payday
you must either pay a claim equal to your
salary or suffer a garnishee, and to save
your position you starve your babies! If
you have not already patronized the 10
per cent a month loan shark you do so,
and then you are "all in," Indeed. It Is
the beginning of the end.
But to return to the roulette wheel.
There are SS places Into which the ball
may fall. If you put $1 on a certain num
ber and that number "comes," youa re
ceive $35 and your own $1 back. Isn't that,
great? In short. If 2S men each play $1
on a different number, one wins and the
house rakes In $37 and pars out $35. Can
you estimate how long the money of a
group of men will last at the rate of a
roll a minute with the house making $2
on each roll?
Philosophy of the "Crap" Game.
Perhaps you prefer "craps." The num
ber most likely to "come" when two dice
are thrown Is, of course seven, and you
think yourself favored when you are per
mitted to win when the charmed seven
shows up on the first throw. Do not lose
sight of the fact that although you win
on a seven or an eleven, you lose on a
two, three or twelve. This gives about
an even chance on the first roll, but it Is
after this first roll that you are "up
John L. Sullivan and King- Edward
Famous Bostonlan Tells of His Conversation With the Ruler of Great Britain.
Br John L. SaHIraa.
WHBX I met the present King Ed
ward VII. then Prince of4Wales.
In 1SS7, I shook his flipper and
wished him welL He struck me as a sport
of the right sort, and we chinned .one an
other for two hours.
'Tm sorry, air. Sullivan," said the King
(then Prince) "that your people ever left
Ireland. Tou would be a credit to the
British Empire as one of Her Majesty's
subjects, as you certainly are to the
American Republic, where I have many
"My people didn't want to leave-Ireland,
Tour Highness," said I, "but they couldn't
stay, not with, their appetites."
"L mean that if I lived In Ireland a year
there'd be another famine- there, that
there Isn't enough to feed the Sulllvans
in that country: that's why so many of
us had to vamoose the ranch."
"Tou Irish-Americans If that Is the
right way to say it are a fine blend, a
fine blend." said the Prince, smiling cor
dially. "You have caused us over here
some trouble which we would have been
better off without." f
"Yes. Tour Highness. It would have
been money In your pockets to have kept
the Irish Just plain Irish. As plain Irish
they don't want much. As Americans
they want everything in sight."
And we chatted as hall fellows well met.
I boxed at a private exhibition before the
Prince, there being about 250 persons pres
ent, and he. admitted that he'd got his
When He Didn't Punch(KIng Edward
After my return home to Boston I was
telling a few friends about my meeting
with the Prince. It was along about St.
Patrick's day time, when Irishmen feel
llko "doing" everything English, and one
of my friends, a fellow who believes that
some day England will be used as a
browsing place for Irish goats, got very
"Do ye mane to say yez were all thot
tolme wlddln arrum's reach of the bloody
tyrant?" he asked.
"Sure I was. DInny."
"Ob. melia murther, what a chanst! An
ye let It go by?"
"Let what go by?"
"Xhe chanst to land on him. And you
wld the pounch that could git square for.
slven hundred years of . starvation and
misery! O my! O my! Yez ought to be
ashamed to tell It If Ol'd been In ycr
place Fd given it till him so he'd be wil
lln to make Olreland free whin he klm
out av ut, th robbln" Invader."
My private opinion of the King Is that
If he had his way he'd give Ireland free
dom, for he Is a pretty good sort and
would rather make friends than enemies.
YOUR CREDIT IS GOOD
$12.00 IRON BED &50.
A very handsome bed with extended
brass rail on head and foot. 5 feet 9
inches high. Cheap at $12.00. Our sdo-
$1.00 down, $1.00 per week.
A very pretty up-to-date Iron Bed in
all-the new colors and effects, extra
heavy, chills and posts. A great spe-
clal at 315. OO
$1.00 down, $1.00 per week.
100 STYLES OF FOLDING GO
CARTS. Extra values, latest styles, easy run
ning and durable, up from. ..gS.SS
CARD TABLES AND FOLDING
against it." The chances of the mystic
"seven" are small compared with the ag
gregate chances of four, five. six. eight,
nine, and ten. and If you throw any of
these six "points" you must make it
again before the favored seven comes
in order to win. Otherwise you lose.
This game is nothing less than a day
Tou may play games other than the
ones here enumerated, but they belong
in the class with "chuck luck." and "the
wheel of fortune," and are even less "on
the square." Buying or selling wheat "on
a margin," or dealing In fictitious mining
stocks, which have no existence outside
of the "clock." which is "wound up"
the night before, are no different when
It comes to cold figures.
Suppose Your Wife Gambled.
What would you think of your wife
were she to show such poor business in
stinct as to venture some of' your hard
earned money in one of these games or
on the races, where the -percentages of
chances are made by the other fellow?
You would file a bill for divorce forth
with. Have you lost, and are you "gamely"
trying to get even? If -so, take all you
can spare for gambling and place It in a
good bank until you have accumulated a
sum equal to that of your losses. Take
the consequences of your acts and be
But he has to keep his job by doing what
he's told. If he tried to get gay with
things he woldn't last as long In the King
business as a ham sandwich at a Hebrew,
picnic. He's only a hired man.
John L.'s Marvelous Constitution.
As I sit here and tally the past I cannot
but wonder what a crackerjack of a con
stitution I must have had to stand up
under what rve been through. Talk about
crowded hours and strenuous living, why,
I've got the best of them skinned a mile.
A few years ago, when I was sick In New
York, to the hospital for mine. The doc
tors got out their dinky little saw3 and
things, and began to cut the bad all out
They put me down, and while I took
their count they found that I had a rup
ture of the bowels, and that I'd had it
from birth. I took their word for it.
They had to go back over my record to
be convinced that I'd lived so many years
"I never made any complaint at being
alive," I told them, "although some oth
They thought; It wonderful that I'd been
able to train and fight so long. I told
them that in 1SSS. some time after my
threo hours' fight with Mitchell In
France, during March of that year a se
vere Illness got me. and I was In my
nighty In bed for nine weeks, suffering
with typhoid fever, gastric fever. Inflam
mation of the bowels, liver complaint and
heart trouble all at the same time. This
sounds like some of the things you hear
members of Congress and skinny women
telling about In patent medicine adver
tisements, but It's sure enough truth.
When I was turned loose by the doc
tors in the hospital I was partly para
lyzed, my legs being on strike and re
fusing to work- With the use of crutches
I Was able to get around to meet the
boys and see If the supply of coffin var
nish was holding out. It was six weeks
before I gave the crutches the glad
It was in the latter part of December.
1SS3, that I chucked the crutches. Stick
a pin in this date, and then remember
that on July 8. 1S83, I fought Jake Kllraln
at RIchburg. Miss., that battle lasting 75
rounds. What do you think of that? And
I let that battle go 75 rounds n purpose
to show that I was able to go any dis
tance any living fighter could do. I'll tell
you In my next how I let Kllraln do all
that was In him in that fight, holding off
the knockout till - everybody was tired of
the battle, just to show that I was still
the champion, and the crutches didn't
show In the count.
I have brought out these facts at this
time to show that I can recover from
anything to good enough notch to put It
over the 20-ronnd ladybirds who are. today
doing vaudeville stunts and calling it
fighting. -I have, it In me to press the
button for the bert of them, and . they
can't talk down the facts of the past any
$o(XOO BKASS BED $30.00.
Handsomo Brass Bed, extra heavy
posts and rails, gold lacquered.
wnicn absolutely prevents tar
nishing. "Very special at $38.60
$1.00 down, $1.00 per week;
S90.00 BRASS BED
This swell bed. satin finished; one at
the prettiest brass beds in, the city,
6 feet high, 3-Inoh zilllars and -posts
A great special at 97G.C9
$5.00 down, $2.00 per week.
ECLIPSE COOK STOVES.
Guaranteed 15 years, up from. $18.08
$1.00 down, $1.00 per week.
CHAIRS FOR RENT
contented to work out slowly, but surely,
and profit by your valuable and costly
experience. If you. have not yet learned
your lesson you are a more storm-tossed
craft than is the drunkard confirmed la
Is gambling a habit which you cannot
break? Then yoa are a mouse not a
man, and the sooner your family loses
you the better. But you can stop, and
you know It, and you know you know It!
Putting a bad" habit behind one has never
yet proved fatal.
Friendly . Games Destroy Friendships
Perhaps you gamble with personal
friends where there Is no percentage
taken out for the benefit of those who
conduct the enterprise. Don't you suffer
just as much from loss of money in such
a case as in any other? On the other
hand, does It. give you pleasure to take
money from your friends without giving
anything in return? Is your friendship
strengthened by tha "little friendly
game?" Don't you know that the con
firmed amateur gambler Is the most un
happy man on earth, and that he cannot
do justice to his life's vocation if he al
lows himself to waste time, and suffer
worry over this form of speculation?
What? Tou don't gamble? Then you
are the men I most wish to reach. I'll tell
you a secret. There Is oiio way to beat
all the games. Stay awayt-
more than they can duck the dead-sure
thlng3 that I'm futuring for them.
I have a "front that makes my belt
wider thaxvlt ought to be, but Tm getting
that reduced every day. My neck Is the
same size it was in my best day. My
arms are the same size, and as hard, and
my legs tell the same pretty and com
Since I stored away Jack McCormlck at
Grand Rapids a few weeks ago all the
smart Alecks have been explaining it as
an accident! The Texan thinks it was al
most a fatal accident for him. But there
was just as much heft in the swipe that
made McCormlck forget the Alamo as
there was In -the one- that persuaded Joe
Goes in 18S0 that I was a comer. Here's
the reports from the Knockers' Associa
tion: Jeffries: "I won't fight John L because
it would be a case of assault and battery
on my. part."
FItzslmmons: "Sullivan is an odjua old
man, and I haven't time from my theat
Corbett: (Mostly bad language and a
swift run for shelter.)
They are making it appear that I ought
to be in some old ladles' home, and they
don't want to make some money anyway.
They are three of a kind, and they are
afraid to .see my "bluff," as they call It,
with my pair of dukes. Ain't they the
limit? Jeffries said the other day that
President Roosevelt was good enough
boxer to get into the ring with some of
the best of them today, yet tho President,
good scrapper that he is, and all honor
to him for it. is older than I am. Fltz is
43, nearly as old as I am, and he has the
gall to put 'em up. Jem Mace- at 40 and
Joe Goss at 43 did some good work And
John L. Is going to butt into the Knock
ers' Association, arid he's going to make
the motion to adjourn. They can't como
too fast for me, and they can't lose yours
truly. Say, this Osier must be a horse
doctor when he talks of 40 being the time
to dope out. Me and Lillian Russell are
going to make him raise his figures or
we'll, send him to some correspondence
school to . learn his lesson over again.
When a Man's Married, Etc., Etc.
Hazel Bend Corr. Tillamook Herald.
It Is currently reported that Oliver Mills
will soon return to dwell in our midst
and that he will not come alone, for he
has persuaded some fair Valley dame to
share his fortunes and misfortunes; In.
short, has taken unto himself a wife, so,
hoys, lay In a, good supply of cans, horns
and powder Jhat you may be able to give
him a good' sendoff on his wedded, career.
We wish him Joy by, the bushel and many
years of happiness.-