Portland observer., February 11, 1982, Page 3, Image 3

Portland Observer, February 11,1962 Page 3
Love and the family
Grassrool News, N . IF .— T he sua-
tainin g force fo r a ll types o f love Is
the fa m ily . For a race o f people the
fa m ily can m ean the d ifferen ce be­
tween s u rvival and e x tin c tio n . In
Portland, the A d air fam ily exempli­
fies the qualities which m ake a fa m ­
ily s tro n g . O e n ia is a lib r a r ia n at
Jefferso n H ig h School and D o n n y
w orks in E m p lo y m e n t at E m a n u e l
H ospital. They met in 1969 on a col­
lege campus. O en ia recalls th eir in ­
tro d u c tio n . " D o n n y was a sum m er
counselor an d I was a student. H e
was frie n d ly and o pen , and was on
o f the few men who were not trying
to run a game or a line on m e ."
M r . A d a ir says that his line finally
w o rked " L ik e m ost young men I
was attracted to her physical beauty.
She was very in d e p e n d e n t, in te lli­
gent and we had good conversation.
Oenia is an attractive person and the
fact that student-counselor relation­
ships were ta b o o m ig h t have in ­
creased my desire.”
T h e desire was m u tu a l and th e ir
re la tio n s h ip began. D o n n y A d a ir
adds, " L ik e most m o d ern couples
we lived together fo r fiv e years.
S ho rtly a fte rw a rd we were m arried
and ran in to some d iffic u ltie s . W e
broke up fo r tw o years and now we
have been back to g eth er fo r fo u r
years. W e were not im mune to prob­
lems facing couples in to d ay’s soci­
e ty ."
O en ia A d a ir describes the love in
th e ir re la tio n s h ip as secure. " T h e
basis o f o u r re la tio n s h ip , w hether
we were together or ap art, is that we
c o m m u n ic a te d . T h e re has alw ays
been a lo t o f feedback and tru s t. I
know where D o n n y is com ing fro m
and I feel safe.”
D o n n y A d a ir defines his love fo r
O e n ia as excitin g . A ls o , " T r u s t is
the most im p o rta n t elem ent in our
m arriag e. I d o n ’ t mean trust in the
tra d itio n a l way o f her going out on
me. I f she did I know that she’d be
back. I'm a very c o n fid e n t person
and I k n o w I p ro vid e a lo t o f love
and security. Things that any w o m ­
Only one o f over 250 styles
o f Wedding A Engagement Rings
in stock...from *225.00
an w ould desire. I have no paranoia
ab o u t losing o u r re la tio n s h ip . I t ’ s
that fear that breaks couples up be­
cause you have th a t k in d o f m is­
trust.”
A t one period in their relationship
the A d a irs were not together. D o n ­
ny A d a ir explains, " O n a short-term
basis it was great. ’ w ouldn’t change
or do an yth in g d iffe re n tly . A t th at
tim e we needed that break. 1 was on
the radio four nights a week and had
a n o th e r 8-to-S jo b . I had p len ty
money and drove a new car.
" O v e r the lo n g -ru n you get tired
and you w an t to have m e a n in g fu l
co nversatio n w ith the same person
on a re g u la r basis. T h e nights you
didn’ t have a date can be extra lone­
ly. I was raised by grandparents and
m other, so I had a good strong fa m ­
ily b a c k g ro u n d . T h is m ade m e a
fam ily m a n .”
O e n ia had a d iffe re n t reaction to
their separation. " I t was lonely and
peacefu l. Y o u see, I ’ m a loner and
being by m yself d id n ’ t bother me. I
did miss having someone to ta lk to
w ho knew w here I was com ing
fro m . I went back to C a lifo r n ia . I
th in k m ost single w o m an w ho are
out th ere having fu n but still lo o k ­
ing fo r someone.”
D on n y talks about their relatio n ­
ship as it relates to the c h ild re n .
" M y three girls (T in a , 12, K ro n d a ,
10 and A ly c ia , 5) a ll have d iffe re n t
m o th ers. A n d G e n ia has alw ays
been ab le to accept m y ch ild ren
w ithout question and treats them as
her o w n . T h a t’ s a real strong point
in keeping the relationship together
I k n o w w om en w ho c a n ’ t do th a t.
Y o u have to be m an o r w om an
enough to accept other relationships
that have happened.”
G e n ia A d a ir says, " W h e n I had
my first child it caused a problem . I
was ju s t a baby and it was lik e my
new p la y to y . W e were still going to
school and having fin a n c ia l p ro b ­
lems and I kinda shut D onny o u t.”
Has economics ever affected their
relationship? " M o n e y problems can
A
d ia m o n d
for that
very special
lie T o
,4
statute in Oregon called the F am ily
Abuse P reven tio n A c t. It is not re­
stricted to people who are m arried.
W hat we see in domestic partnership
is that when someone moves out the
o th e r person is u n h a p p y and h a r­
asses the other party. W hen this oc­
curs yo u can get a re s tra in in g
o rd er.”
Is liv in g to g eth er re a lly the best
way to go? " T h a t ’s not a legal ques­
tio n . It 's a personal questio n . I ’ m
not sure I can answer th a t. It gets
dow n to w hat do you tell your c h il­
dren. T h a t you s h ou ldn ’ t live w ith
someone unless you are m arried or
you shouldn’t have sex until you are
m arried ? M o st o f us have lived in
the w orld long enough to know that
sex is n o t w h a t m a rria g e o r lo n g
term relationships are all a b o u t.”
W h e n th e re a re o ffs p r in g fro m
living w ith someone, w hat happens
to th e c h ild re n w hen th e p aren ts
m o ve a p a rt7 " T h e m o th e r w o u ld
have to go th ro u g h th e D . A . fo r
child su pp o rt. W h a t happens most
o f the tim e is th at the fa th e r wants
to have rights to the c h ild re n . T h e
answer is that he has to hire an a t­
torney. V isitation goes fine until one
or the other has a new partner. Then
all hell breaks loose.”
I t ’ s th e season to f i l l o u t ta x
forms. Should you file separately or
jointly? " O u r tax system still favor;
p C T S O fl.
!
k*
» 1 7 /4 7 7
1
&
JEWELERS & GOLDSMITHS
(.LO Y D C E N T E R 2 8 4 -2 1 0 1 • J A N T Z E N B EA C H
2 8 5 -9 2 2 6
SALEM 3 6 4 -2 2 2 4
P a ra c le te
W o o d P ro d u c ts
Genia and Donny Adair and their family.
a tfc c t y o u r love life . C o m m u n ic a ­
tio n is v e ry im p o rta n t w hen th a t
topic comes u p .”
Genia says, " W e ’ ve gone through
the p e rio d o f p ayin g fo r o ur past
m istakes. G e ttin g a d ivo rce cost a
lot o f m oney. I know th at there are
times w hen we d o n ’ t have lots o f
money but th a t’s just a goal that we
w ork to w ards.”
W h a t advice could they give to
couples? D onny advises, “ Know the
person you are w ith . G iv e them
some feedback on a reg u lar basis
I t ’s very hard to put traditional roles
and labels on to d a y ’ s w om an. Y ou
have to be open to the fact that
Q U A L IT Y H AN DC RA FTED
FUR NISHING S BY RON STAATS - M IK E PRATO
things v can
u n s happen.
ia p p .ll,
’ T h e m ain th in g is to keep your
fa m ily together. I w ant to tell these
young Black men to get y o u r kids
*u
u p put
u t u
w m
i in
n your
e. Y ro ou
u g got
ot
and
them
your nom
home.
no»» o
/vf f •t«*.»
to talre
take care
your children. *T
T *___
ry to
see them every d av.”
Public Notice
P W P P A R A C L E T E W O O D P R O D U C T S , IN C . o f 2921 NE Killinga-
w o rth , is n o w offering their com plete line o f products W H O L E S A L E to
the public. Quality for quality w e feature the lowest prices in the N orth ­
west direct to the consum er. This is n o t a o ne-tim e gim m ick to g et th e
custom er in th e d o o r .. .w e intend to stay in business by truly offering
high quality w o o d e n w a re fo r as m uch as 5 0 % o ff th e retail price you
would normally have to pay.
Genia A d air adds, "B la c k women
ought to th in k about Black men re­
a lis tic a lly . W hen you lo o k fo r a
mate you can’t look for a Black man
to be lik e some w h ite m an on T . V .
I f a brother has a jo b and is a good
person and he treats you right then
accept him fo r w hat he is and love
h im .”
Features:
Solid W ood Proaucts
W a te r Resistant Finish
Installation H ardw are Available
Store Front A t The Shop (w ith all prices visible)
Complete Bath Accès. Une
Kitchen Accessories
W hole House Decor Line
Great Gifts fo r All Occasions (with N ationw ide Shipping at Cost)
The financial considerations of love
G ra s s ro o l N ew s, N . W .— I t has
been re fe rre d to as s h a c k in g u p ,
common law marriage or a domestic
partnership. By any o f these terms
the arrangement o f man and woman
liv in g together w ith o u t the b en efit
o f a m a rria g e license is as m uch a
p a rt o f lo v e re la tio n s h ip s as t r a ­
ditional marriage.
A young m an and w o m an m eet.
T h e y began to see each o th e r and
are interested in m aking a relatio n ­
ship g ro w . T h ey each give up th eir
apartments and move in together. A
common law or living-with-a-person
kind o f arrangement begins.
She’ s 66. H e ’ s 69. T h e y ’ve known
each other fo r years. H e is ready to
m o ve to S alem an d w an ts to get
m arried . She finds out th at her so­
cial security would be reduced i f she
wants to rem arry. She moves to Sal­
em and (hey set up a household to­
gether, draw ing tw o separate S .S .I.
checks.
These are the people who live to­
gether for an infinite number o f rea­
sons. D o m e s tic re la tio n s a tto rn e y
Elizabeth W elch says that domestic
p a rtn e rs h ip s a re n ’ t a ll m ilk and
honey. " I f people live together long
enough an d a c q u ire ite m s , w hen
they decide not to be together any
longer they have to decide how to
divide th eir belongings. I have rep­
resented suits. T he Suprem e C o u rt
decided that the courts have author­
ity to d iv id e assets in a d o m e s tic
partnership. They are very interest­
in g . O n e P o r tla n d ju d g e to ld me
th a t, 'T h e s e are w orse th a n d i­
v o rc e s .’ T h e ju d g e is rig h t. T h e y
seem to be more bitter. People thought
th a t th e w ere a v o id in g th e d i f f i ­
cu lties o f p ro p e rty settlem ents by
not g ettin g m a rrie d . In fact it just
makes it m ore d iffic u lt because the
rules are harder to a p p ly .”
W hat legal redress would there be
if you were living with someone and
they m oved out w ith some o f your
belongings? " Y o u could sue the in ­
d iv id u a l on the basis th a t he stole
your p ro perty. I f you went to court
to defend yourself on the basis that
you fe lt you deserved the b elo n g ­
ings, this is when the problems pop
up. W h a t can be done is to have a
c o n tra c t d ra w n up sta tin g w h at is
m ine, is m ine. A n d what belongs to
you is y o u rs . N o w w h e th e r those
agreements hold up in court remains
to be seen.”
I f you were liv in g w ith someone
w ho was a b u s iv e , c o u ld you have
that individual arrested? " T h e re is a
io
Mnnlhlj Payment«
Check out o u r prices f i r s t . . . . W e know you will be backl Paying m ore
ang getting less is not good business! This week w e have the new Valen­
tine Heart M irror for $7 95 ea. These mirrors are collector's items (and no
calories).
m a rrie d p e o p le . So it w o u ld v a ry
from situation to situation. U n m a r­
ried people have filed tax returns to­
gether under H ead o f H o u s e h o ld .
So unm arried people who are living
together should check w ith l.R .S .”
PWP PARACLETE WOOD PRODUCTS. INC.
2929 N.E. Killlngsworth
Phone 288-6880
Hours 9 am-6 pm Daily
Closed Saturday
Get 3 great deals
on 3 new meals.
Now at Rustler's you get a timely savings on the 3 most
delicious meals in town, just by clipping the coupons
below
You start by getting a savings on the Westerner
Sandwich, a |uicy burger that s a meal m itself The
Westerner is served on a tasty roll with lettuce,
tomatoes, onions and fries!
the unique taste of Rustier s Srrtom T ips Dinner
Featuring a generous portion of (utcy Srdom Tips
smothered sauteed onions Regularly $4 19. this
tempting dinner is ow only $3 29
Now's the time to get 3 good deals on 3 great meats
So. come to the Rustier where you can eat cheaper!
essa
Your second special features a |uicy. cooked to order
Ribeye Steak, plus baked potato, roll and a helptn of
"the greenstuff from the Rustler Salad Corral*
Last, but not least, your third special introduces you to
E L IZ A B E T H W E L C H
!" Sirloin Tips [""Sirloin Tips- J
Westerner
Dinner
Dinner
Sandwich
$3.29
(P h o to by R ic h a rd J . B ro w n )
Feb. 3 thru Feb. 14th
D IM E N S IO N S O P L O V E
Coupon »and tor on* puren*»* 0» S r W Tip*
D n n » Denn» nctudM Stoom Tip* p * * * a p o n to
r o * * n d t » * d Oton» d o ** not meaxto 0 * » « *O*u>
a * * t * n C u iio rn » I"u*t p*» tppacaw * • « * • I * .
’ O " » »**a *o m r« e 1 thru7 * 6 i«tn Aootw nM o
The dimensions o f love cannot be measured
I t ’ s too big, too deep, and too wide
I t ’ s an un-explainable feeling
T hat originates from deep dow n inside.
I t ’s a rare and unique com m odity
T hat can neither be bought nor sold
It is " w a r m th ," and it’s "c a rin g for others’ ’—
I t ’ s far more precious than silver and gold.
It seems to come in such "s m a ll ratio ns".
Feb 4th thru
Feb 14th
’
Coupon »M d tor on* purona** or « W m ttr n » ____ 1
I
Coupon »taa tor o n* p u ren *** or S a to» T ip*
O ton» Oton» « a u t)* * SMoto Tip* Oakad potalo
re* ana u«»d Oton» a a * * not n o u d * 0 * » » * o * or
M « n C m to rti» muto p*» appacaOt* M M * to»
o n » ,*a d nom r * e » to ru » « » 1 4 » acooomno
»0 407
I
I
±
e«LJ
I
Rib Eye
Dinner
Rib Eye
Dinner
«3.29
Feb.
______ _ 3rd thru Feb. 14th
Feb. 3rd thru Feb. 14th
Coupon vaad tor o n* pure n aa* or o n * W O Ejra^Staa»
Mndwicn o n » OOM noi m oud* t » » » * p * a * * * » t a X m
T» ^ ¿ t o á t r ñ n i j i
o r a i * c a n * aarna O n » . - d l » ,
I ^ T s X , p îS to ^ S ÏÎ
tatti Account «ro »0-407
I pay ^ p a o a ß a S * « t « . O on»
tor e n * puren m pf o n* toe I y * Staa*
Oton» » aa n a y a a a g tou* ear* Oton » * toauP * top
«»•
e X a ì - m i a a » t o t * * e * » * M e ta p i
on» —p a r a * ' * t o
r*o taw
385BS& I
’1.59
Coupon » tap tor on* i purenaa* o* a
•andwten » t o r d o * *
» t l * cart* «am * » t o r »«aa l * C « » to ru Faa
I * to Aeeeunt top 50-407
1.59 I ’3.29
I
I
Love is much like a large endless river,
From which small, swift tributaries flow
In the forms o f kindness and thoughtfulness,
Leaving effects, wherever they may go.
$
Feb 4th thru
Feb. 14th
I Feb. 3 thru Feb. 14th
I
I
i'L_
Westerner
Sandwich
Love can cover a great m ultitude o f sins
A n d it can even exalt a nation
But, somehow, now, in this day and time.
$3.29
■47
i
BUSOS
Now Serving Breakfasts
Love, like b irth, can give meaning to " lif e ”
As it nourished and cultivates so,
L ike a budding rose, in the spring-time
It's beauty, now, bursts fo rth , all aglow.
Mon.-Fri. 6 am to 11 am • Sat.-Sun. 7 am to noon
PORTLAND
by M a ry Jean Berry
425 Northeast Oregon Street
(Between Unton end Grand)
■43 I