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About Morning Oregonian. (Portland, Or.) 1861-1937 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 13, 1904)
s THE MORNING OREGONIAN, WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 13,, 190 Entered at the. Poetofflce at Portland. Oregon, as eecond-class mater. REVISED SUBSCRIPTION RATES. By mail (postage prepaid In advance) Ta!lr. with Sunday, ixrr month J0.S5 Dally. Sunday excepted, per year 7.50 jjauy, wita iuncay, per year..... ........ a.uu Sunday, per year -. 2.00 The "Weekly, per year 1-50 The "Weekly. 3 months 50 Xally, per week, delivered, Sunday excepted. 15c xiaity, per week, aeiivered, Sunday included . juc POSTAGE RATES. United States. Canada and Mexlrav- 10 to 14page paper .......... ...........lc in 10 3u-page paper ....zc 22 to 44 -page paper ..................3o Foreign rates double. News for discussion intended for publication In The Oreconlan should be addressed invari ably, "Editor The Oregonlan," not to the name vi any individual. Letters relating to adver Uaing. subscription, or to any business matter, should be addressed simply, "The Oreconlan." The Oregonian does not buy poems or stories Xrots individuals, and cannot undertake to return any manuscripts sent to it without so licitation. No stamps should be inclosed for this purpose. Eastern Business Office, 43, 44, 45, 47, 48, 49 Tribune Building.- New York City; 510-11-12 Tribune Building, Chicago; the S. C. Beckwith Special Agency, Eastern representative. For sale In New Tork City by 1 Jonas. & Co., news dealers, at the Astor Bouse. For sale In Saa Francisco by U E. Lee, Palace Hotel news stand; Goldsmith Bros., 230 Butter street; F. TV. Pitts, 100S Market street; 7. K. Cooper Co., 746 Market street, near the Palace Hotel; Foster & Orear, Ferry news tand; Frank Scott, 80 Ellis street, and N. Wheatley, 83 Stevenson st. For sale in Los Angeles by B. F. Gardner, 250 South Spring street, and Oliver & Haines, 205 South Spring street. For sale in St. Louis, Mo., by the "World's Fair News Company. For Ue in Kansas City, Mo., by Blckeecker Cigar Co., Ninth and "Walnut streets. 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YESTERDAY'S WEATHER Maximum tem perature, 5S: minimum temperature, 48; pre cipitation, .18 of an inch. TODAY'S TVEATHBR Occasional light rain; southerly winds. VORTLAND, WEDNESDAY, JAN. 13, 1304. LIGHT ON A MUDDLED BRAIN. The battle for the gold standard In 1SD6 was won as a moral Issue. The appeal to the National conscience for the National honor and fidelity to obli gations prevailed over the base appeal to class prejudice, the unworthy appeal for partial repudiation of obligations, the specious appeal to the desire to get something for nothing. The personification and apostle of these base appeals to the lowest mo tives which demagogy can play upon was one W. J. Bryan, unsuccessful actor, unsuccessful lawyer, unsuccess ful editor, unsuccessful candidate. Wherever he went he sought to array the unfortunate and propertyless against the thrifty and the provident. His complaint that the poor are not rich was Ingeniously pressed upon the farmers of Nebraska, the miners of Pennsylvania, the applegrowers of New York. He urged upon all the proposal to escape a portion of their debts by paying them in fifty-cent dollars. This Is the man who now comes home from dalliance tvlth the crowned heads of Europe to tell the American people; The only appeal that Is permanent In its Effectiveness and cnduring'In Its usefulness is the appeal to conscience, and, while it may seem weakness to the brutal and folly to the sordid, it arouses a response that Is at least Irresistible. There Is no need for Mr. Bryan, or for us, to enlarge upon this plain state ment of a truth that Is as old as his tory. In .himself and his rejection at two successive National elections may be seen the Incontrovertible evidence how irresistible is the appeal to the National conscience. The day that the American people forget their conscience long enough to be moved by Bryanic appeals to baser motives, that day they are ready for anarchy and then for des potism. PANAMA INTERVENTION JUSTIFIED. We desire to call the attention of the fruitgrowers, woolgrowers and stock men to a consideration which we fear has hitherto escaped their notice, rela tive to the Administration's policy on the Isthmus. They must all have been Struck with the air of mystery which has hung over the Administration's op erations in Panama. In spite of the President's recerft 14,000-Tvord message, there is still something lacking to give the average man complete satisfaction. What Is this mysterious consideration by which our leading statesmen have beensecretly animated? The explanation we have to offer Is suggested by the true and touching story of one Major Fltz Hugh Edwards, whose visit to the Isthmus, with Its In cidental blessings. Is the talk of the New York clubs. It seems that Ed wards was as bald as the American eagle. Somewhere on the Chagres River he met a band of Indians, who laughed him to scorn when lie removed his hat Having winning ways, Edwards soon made himself agreeable, and the chief of the tribe said in the native tongue: "We will give you cover for your naked ekull.'-'He remained there nearly a year and went back to New York with much better hair than he was born with. The Major assures us that as hair restorers the Colombians are par excellence, dif fering entirely from our North Amer ican Indians, who took all the hair they could scalp. Close Inspection of the published por traits of President Springer, of the Na tional Association; President Jesse Smith, of Utah; Secretary Nichols, of Washington, and Mr. Hagenbarth, of Salt Lake, embolden us to urge this Panama discovery upon our assembled guests as something deserving their ap proval and good will. It seems to us that the Administration deserves the loyal and affectionate support of every baldheaded man in the country; while those blessed with the flowing locks of Ferguson, of Idaho, or Professor Pln chot, not to mention the flowing whis kers of our own Belts and Wisdom, should be Impelled by Christian altru ism to espouse the cause of their less fortunate fellows. Ik is a happy thought that the open ing of this auspicious year of 1904 should hold out to a hitherto hapless and persecuted element In our popula tion the blessed hope of escape from their humiliation. Against the en yxachmenU of old Age, the handi capped entry In the race for love and fame may call Into requisition the dis coveries of science. He can formulate a winning smile by the aid of the dent-' 1st. Drugs will -restore the youthful color of the hair, tailors will rehabili tate the form and breakfast foods im part the invincible jocularity of "Sunny Jim." But for the smooth and shiny pate there has been heretofore no balm In Gllead or elsewhere. Welcome, Pan ama! Welcome, heaven-sent necro mancers of the Chagres wilds! No wonder Senator Hanna has become a convert to the canal! No wonder Sen ator Depew will take no chances on Co lombia's recovering the halr-ralslng and lyUr-restorlng Republic of Panama? FRANKLIN, ADAMS & CO. A few days ago we took occasion to comment, with reserve of sympathy, upon the severe case of mulligrubs de veloped by one George W. Franklin, of Chicago. The said Franklin, whose Identity and connections were studious ly withheld from knowledge, had been seized with alarm at the prospect of the Panama Canal as an actual canal In stead of a mere political and promoter's paradise. We exploited but declined to assuage his woe. It now appears that he has at least one companion In grief. We refer to one Thomas J. Adams, whose expression bears a most striking resemblance In tone and typewriting to that of Mr. Franklin's, and whose pes simism moves upon much the same lines, to-wlt: More than 1000 men, women and children were killed, and more than 50,000 persons made homeless, by disastrous, uncontrolled floods In the United States during the past year alone. . The property losses were more than $100,000,000. These appalling losses are suffered because the rivers and waterways within the United States are shamefully neg lected by the Government. "Why should the people of the United States be taxed for ex travagant improvements In a distant foreign country? Not a single Inhabitant of the United States will die for the want of the foreign and far-off Panama canal. TVhy should the United States bo neglected and become a secondary consideration? Although Mr. Adams speaks as one having authority as well as nerve, we are unable to find his name In the Chi cago directory for 1903. He affects to belong at 103 State street, but as this Is a large office building whence any propaganda might issue with small danger of detection, the responsibility of the author Is at least open to doubt It Is sad to contemplate two such bright minds as those of Mr. Franklin and Mr. Adams burled under the solemn pros pect of the Panama Canal and the equally dispiriting failure of the Gov ernment to open waterways to aid In the reduction of railway freight rates. As their handwriting Is exactly alike, It is not strange they have been simi larly affected by the sad intelligence that weighs them down; but Its bold and free outlines Justify the hope that their naturally buoyant and aggressive spirits will at length rise above the fit of nervous'prostratlon Into which they have been thrown. It is not Incredible that they may be known to each other, using as they do the same typewriter, penmanship and method of operation, and thus through mutual commisera tion and consolation mitigate their for lorn state. If Mr. Franklin or Mr. Adams, or both, of them, will use their influence with the railroads they are working for to facilitate the opening of the Columbia River at the dalles and thus reduce the freight rates between the Inland Em pire and the sea, they will operate to better purpose than in their effort to defeat the isthmian canal. The abandon of woe into which these two estimable worthies have been thrown Is not an unmitigated disaster; for the spectacle of transcontinental railroads grieving over Governmental neglect of water ways In competition with them is one to Illumine the darkest day with a smile of gayety. CO-OrERATIVE STOCKRAISING. Perhaps In no other of the great In dustries of the country Is the mutual aid system carried out so thoroughly and generously as It Is In the range cattle Industry of the Rocky Mountain States. It is by this system, judiciously managed, that cattlemen are able to make the most of the ranges In grazing time and segregate their herds for Win ter's feeding and shelter. The develop ment of the system was brought about by necessity. Cattlemen have been thrown upon their own resources for the protection and development of their business, and they have shown wonder ful adaptability to the situation and Its changes "during the score or more of years that have passed since the buffalo gave place to the flocks and herds of ranchers on the wide stretches of the continent known as the great plateau. President Roosevelt's experience In stockralslng In the Bad Lands, by which name vast areas of the Upper Missouri In Montana are known, as de tailed In his book, "Ranch Life and the Hunting Trail," published before his name was known to National politics, has been widely read. It deals, how ever, with a date In which the cattle Industry was, relatively speaking. In its beginnings. Little provision was made at that time for the Winter feed and care of cattle. The business was run upon the primitive range plan; the cowboys led a nomadic life during the Summer months, and when Winter came and blizzards, accompanied by bitter cold, heavy snow and cutting sleet, held high carnival over the ranges, the poor brutes sought what shelter the valleys afforded from the blasts and eked out a scanty subsist ence upon browse and the dry grass that was In patches swept bare by the wind or perished with hunger and cold, as the case might be From this point the development of the cattle industry, up to the introduc tion of the present co-operative system, as now carried on, bristles with hard facts and adventures; of great gains one year and of unexpected losses the next, over which and through which runs an unwritten tale of cruelty to animals that Is pitiful. Following the open-range period, wherein all the herds grazed and roamed at will In Summer and got through the Winter as best they could or perished In the attempt, came the settler, with his few head of cattle. Unable to stand the waste of a hard Winter, he dug Irrigation ditches and raised alfalfa, which was fed to the stock during severe weather. The fenc ing of adjacent pasture lands was tried. but this proved too expensive and really seemed useless when hundreds of thou sands of acres of Summer range lay just beyond. Then followed a combina tion of farmers and stockmen, by which the herds of a number In the Immediate vicinity were sent out of the settled portion of the valley as soon as the Spring opened ordinarily about the middle of April. These combined herds ranged in numbers from 400 to 2000 head, and were in charge of from one to four men. The mess wagon moved with the herd, and as soon as one local ity was grazed oft the camp outfit moved on and the stock was driven to a new range. The herds were run by practical cowmen, who were, of course, daring and practiced horsemen. The cattle were segregated and re turned to the owners in October, the caretakers receiving a stipulated sum of from 51 to ?L50 per head for those returned and forfeiting $5 for each head that was Io3t through careless handling or lack of vigilance. The surplus was shipped to the Chicago market and "the balance of the herd was wintered in the sheds at the home ranch. Finally, as the herds increased, a co-operative round-up association was formed and the cattle were turned over In the Spring to the care of Its cowboys. No attempt Is made to herd the stock ex cept that lines are ridden to prevent straying beyond the limits of a certain territory. The story of co-operative herding the branding, the round-up and the final disposal of the herds, that have been depleted by the Fall shipments, for the Winter is interesting. It shows in detail the methods by which all of these things are accomplished with sat isfaction and profit to all concerned. The stock business has adjusted Itself to Its environment The possibility of loss during the Winter has been greatly reduced. It is no longer considered a doubtful expedient to loan money on range stock. Small farmers and herds men are Increasing their herds. It can not now, as formerly, be said that there is no money in the business, for the small stockowner, since his privileges through the co-operative method are equal to those of the large owner, and the maximum cost of running stock under present conditions does not ex ceed $4.50 a year per head. The area of irrigated land Increases every year. This means, more alfalfa and further decrease In the Winter's losses. From early and crude beginnings the Indus try has grown Into a systematic busl-. ness, the details of which are simple and practical, the returns of which are widely distributed and In aggregate enormous, and the risk of which has been reduced to the minimum. GORDON AND CEDAR CREEK. The late Confederate General John B. Gordon was not a great strategist, but he was perhaps the most brilliant ex ecutive officer in Xree's army. Ample proof of his ability Is found In the fact that General Gordon was the successful executive of Early's brilliant surprise and defeat of Sheridan's army while under command of General Wright, Oc tober 19, 1S64. Sheridan had been sum moned to Washington on the 16th. His army was encamped on the left bank of Cedar Creek, a rapid, shallow stream, just above its junction with the Shen andoah, a little north of Three Top Mountain, of the Massanutten Range. Through the center of his position ran the valley pike, crossing Cedar Creek aboujt a mile above its mouth by a bridged Two miles down this pike is Mlddletown. Sheridan's line extended some four miles or more In an Irregu lar bow. Crook, with the Eighth Corps, was on the extreme left On the right of the turnpike the Nineteenth Corps, under Emory, held the center, along the brow of the creek. Farther- to the right was the Sixth Corps, Getty's division holding the rigfit of the corps and on the extreme right of the line were Cus ter's and Merrltt's cavalry divisions un der Torbert, numbering a force of nearly 10,000 veteran troopers. Sheridan's whole army could not have been much under 40,000, while Early's forces have been variously estimated from 18,000 to 25,000, but of these his cavalry were absolutely worthless. The Confederate signal station on Three Top Mountain overlooked the Union camps, and Early from this point saw his op portunity and planned a daring surprise which carne very near proving a com plete "scoop" of Sheridan's army, and the chosen executive of -Early's brilliant stroke was General Gordon. Early sent Gordon with three divisions In the night ofthe 18th through the woods around the base of Three Top Mountain, on the south side of the Shenandoah, and had him cross the river quietly below the mouth of Cedar Creek, where there were but few Union pickets, and strike the Union left flank and rear under Crook, while Early with two divisions and forty pieces of artillery pushed straight down the turnpike and struck the Union left and center in front at the same time that Gordon was rolling up its left flank. It was an admirable plan, and was most successfully exe cuted by Gordon, who "pulled the la boring oar" in the whole undertaking. Gordon for success required energy, secrecy and knowledge of the country, for the whole route of his march was little better than a narrow, blind path. A heavy fog favored Early, and the careless feeling of security In the Northern lines was fatal, so that Early In the gray of the morning about 5 o'clock ran right over the parapets of Crook's front, while Gordon at the same time rolled up its left flank, and within a very short time Crook's corps was completely dispersed, losing its camps, artillery, etc. The flight of the Eighth Corps uncovered the Nineteenth Corps, but with Gordon rolling up their flank there was nothing to do but to get out so the Nineteenth Corps was driven from its camps, lost Its guns and tem porarily disappeared from the field as an organization. Then Gordon .at tacked the third and first divisions of the Sixth Corps, flanked them and forced them back with heavy loss. Gen eral Getty now came up with the sec ond division of the Sixth Corps, and by his resistance to the onset of the enemy saved the army from complete ruin. At this time the Federals had lost twenty four guns and 1S00 prisoners, arid all of Wright's army left In the field as an organized fighting force was Getty's di vision, supported on Its left by the cav alry divisions of Merrltt and Custer. Getty stood off the Confederates and finally withdrew to a strong position west of Middletown, where he formed a new line behind stone walls, rail fences and In woods, and ordered the reorgan ized first and third divisions of his corps forward to this line, while Gen eral Wright exerted himself to reorgan ize the Nineteenth Corps on the same line. At this juncture Early had won a complete victory, and If he1had prompt ly withdrawn his army with the cap tured guns and property he would have robbed Sheridan of the right to place Cedar Creek on the list of his victories. Early desired to do this very thing, but he could not because his army had be come so depleted by the crowds of offi cers and soldiers who stopped to plun der the captured camps that neither Gordon nor Kershaw could organize their troops for advance or retreat The Confederates had suffered greatly from lock of clothing and food, and they could not be held in hand to utilize the fruits of victory. At about 10 A. M. Sheridan came up, reformed his lines. repulsed Early's last assault charged, in return, broke Earljs weak line, drove it into demoralized flight and wrested Early's brilliant victory from his grasp. There is such a thing' as luck in the affairs of peace, and there Is luck in war. Good luck saved Napoleon from terrible defeat at Marengo, and ill-luck, not Inefficiency, lost Early his victory at Cedar Creek. If his victorious troops had not recklessly left their lines to plunder the captured camps. Early could have retired with victory and all his spoils of war by noon. He deserved success If he did not attain It, and Gor don, the successful executive of Early's daring stroke, rightly regarded his sur prise of Sheridan's lines at Cedar Creek, as the brightest feather in his military plume. Gordon won such high reputa tion for his conduct on this occasion that General Lee selected him to com mand the famous sortie against Grant's lines before Petersburg, March 25, 1865. The point of attack was Fort Stedman, where the opposing lines were only 150 yards apart and the pickets but 50 yards apart General Gordon says that Lee placed at his disposal, in addition to his own corps, a portion of A. P. Hill's and a portion of Longstreet's, and a detach ment of cavalry, In all about one-half the army. This formidable sortie cap tured Fort Stedman, Batteries 10, 11 and 12, but the supporting troops didn't ar rive at the appointed hour and daylight found Gordon with 'his plan only half executed, so that he was driven back with a loss of 2000 men. In this under taking Gordon showed, however, lhat he was a fit leader for such a desperate enterprise, for the secrecy with which he prepared the attack and the energy and daring with which he captured the Federal intrenchments In his front show that if his supports had arrived when due, before daylight he might have succeeded In his purpose to disor ganize and destroy Grant's left wing before he could recover, and concentrate .his forces from the right Had he suc ceeded, as he deserved to succeed,- the war might have been prolonged an other campaign.. Charles J. Bonaparte, grand nephew of the great Napoleon, 1 In certain' lines, one of the most prominent mem bers of the United States bar- saga clous, relentless public prosecutor and withal a useful . citizen. Summing up the characteristics of this American. Bonaparte, a writer in Frank Leslie's Monthly says: He has fought for civil service reform and' a young man stin has lived to see many of his dreams come true. Personally, he takes life easily and does not grow excited. He Is a blue-blood' of the' blue-bloods, but he. never mingles In the poverty-stricken, ancestor-worshiping "society" of Baltimore. He Is a millionaire, but he does not bother about the stock market. He is the foremost lay Catholic In the Catholic capital of the western hemisphere, and the friend, adviser and. confidant of Cardinal Gibbons, but his' religion Is not obtrusive. His friends may be few, but they are friends worth having. His enemies are enemies that every decent man should be proud to have. President Roosevelt clearly knew his man when he chose Charles J. Bona parte to Investigate the Indian and postal frauds. He had known his man before, having i ought with" him years, ago the battles of civil service reform. Outwardly unlike, the President and the public prosecutor are governed by the same Ideas, Ideals, theories and mo tives. Americans can afford to forgive the bitter slight that the corrupt old Prince Jerome, his grandfather, put upon the lovely Betsy Patterson the first American Princess since out of this seeming misalliance there came In the second .generation a man who has boldly fought political corruption and uncovered official fraud In the high places of the Nation. The virtues of the Ben Davis apple are quickly enumerated. It is red, of fair size, and a good keeper. Beyond this nothing can be said In Its favor. It takes rank In deceptive appearance with the "pound pear," and outranks in tastelessness the great overgrown, pumpkin-like Gloria Mundi, which was a product of pioneer orchards when ap ples were apjsles in Oregon and no questions asked. It Is unlike the turnip in that it grows upon a tree, and unlike that most tasteless of all vegetables, the Summer squash, in that the latter, by cooking and liberal seasoning, can be made palatable. Let us hope that the voice of horticulture will prevail against it, and that the trees that produce It will be uprooted from our commercial orchards. An apple that Is not an ap ple, let the Ben Davis pass. It has held Its place In appledom by Its good looks and Its habit of drying up without de caying long enough. Every citizen, of Portland should in terest himself In the project of estab lishing at this city the packing-house with which the National Livestock As sociation proposes to fight the packers' trust The desirability of such an es tablishment here is known to all read ers of The Oregonlan's columns, wherein the subject has been actively agitated for years. The practice of shipping live weight East and hauling back the finished product has been so often explained that nothing more need be said on that score. It seems possi ble now to enlist outside aid In the project that has long Interested both consumers and producers here at home. We hope to see a lively Interest In this Important matter and the co-operation of every agency and Individual that is in a position to lend a hand. A Spokane lad "who could not live without her" settled the vexed question quite seasonably in his career by shoot ing himself. He was but 16 years old, and ifhe had lived a few years longer would no doubt have complicated mat ters by killing the object of his affec tions and then taking an Ineffective shot at himself. He showed a discre tion all too rare In cases of this kind, and, under the circumstances, should be commended rather than censured for the last act of his life. Reassuring Announcement. Kansas City Star. The announcement that the Burlington railway system In Nebraska will not op pose the nomination of Mr. Roosevelt for President Is distinctly interesting. While the public may not be exactly pre pared for the Government ownership of railroads. It Is certainly, reassuring to learn that the railroads do not as yet own the Government Motto for All Communities. Dallas (Tex.) News. The new year should open with one motto which can be very promptly ac cepted, the whole country over, by or derly and law-abiding citizens. "The mob and the thug must go." That is a good rule to begin with, and there are few states or cities In this country in which it Is not in order to sound the slogan. IS REMINISCENT VEIN. The passing of General John B. Gordon recalls an incident that occurred a number of years ago when the famous Confederate leader and myself were fellow-passengers on a train from Pensacola to Jacksonville, We were the only through passengers In the sleeper, and the occasional short-fare occupant of the car who came and went in the coarse of the forenoon never disturbed for a moment the discourse of the finest war-talker to whom I ever listened. See ing my G. A, R. button, he had given me the fraternal greeting of a soldier, and I, recognizing him at once by the furrows on his face that had been plowed in the field of battle, gladly accepted the honor of comradeship, and was delighted to become his seatmate for the trip. And so without further Introduction we had become ac quainted. Naturally the conversation was of the strife between the North and the South, the anti-slavery struggle, secession and the Civil War. Perhaps I have used the word Incorrectly, for I scarcely utered a word after the General entered upon his theme. It Beemed to me then and has seemed to me ever since when returning to it that it would have been a profana tion to have interrupted the story. It was an educational experience In statecraft In political history. In the measure of men, in the gauge of causes and the importance of effects; at once a privilege and an en tertainment But I think he excelled as a war-talker. Never at a campfire at State or National gathering of old soldiers have I ever heard anything which in pathos in description of battle scenes. In humorous incidents of march, of camp. In all the varying moods and phases of a soldier's life, equalled the vivid story pictured by General Gordon. But to the incident At the crossing of the Suwanee River we were delayed for several hours by a wreck, and as there was no dlnlng-car on the train and no house In sight at which to get a meal, the question of something to eat Intruded it self, and the General suggested that we start out on a foraging expedition. He said If I didn't mind a walk of a mile or so he had no doubt we could get a "snack" at a negro shanty. The General said that at that season of the year the negroes had a fashion of sending over to Pensacola for oysters by the barrel, and he thought without doubt we would be able to find a consignment of this kind. Corn pone was suggested, but the combi nation, was not. approved, and the oysters, if they could be had, were preferred "straight" At last we saw a cabin with a column of smoke rising straight and shapely among the tall pines until it mingled in the masses of gray moss clinging to the tufts of foliage, far above the broad throated stick chimney from which it poured. The cabin was of unhewed logs, with projecting ends at the corners on which hung bits of bright-colored rags, and the few simple implements with which an adjacent truck patch was cultivated. The door was of unplan'ed boards pinned to wooden hinges and was supplied with a stout latch, to which the proverbial latch string was attached. The roof of "shakes" of uneven lengths made ragged eaves over which morning-glories had woven festoons of bright colors and under which, on the side we approached, the lone window of the hut. consisting of a single pane of glass, peered out By the side of this win dow with its cornice of ine3 stood the barrel and the contents we were seeking. An old darky appeared and doffing the remnants of a hat bade us a gracious "Good mawnin'." We were delayed passengers on a wrecked train, would our friend be kind enough to oblige us with a bite to eat? "Oysters?" " 'Deed, suh, gemmen." "Crackers?" " Lt;- suh, jist brung 'em fum Pens colyi" "And pepper sauce?" "Yas, suh."- These several luxuries were produced as they were named and In addition salt and a chlseL And so we fell to. The host opened the shells, sprinkled a pinch of salt on the oys ter, a few drops of pepper sauce, and dex terously slid It on a cracker and presented it to the guest first to the General, who had conducted the negotiations and was, therefore, the responsible party, and then to me. In this way we were served "time about" until two dozen Gulf oysters had disappeared; so the host who had evident ly been keeping count stated. This seemed to amuse the General, who advised the man to send for another barrel at once. When we had disposed of another dozen or more the old fellow began to think It would be necessary to act on this advice. He even went so far as to remark the cost of the bivalves, which was "one dollah an two bits more for freight" "There's your dollar, my boy, and thanks besides you are a public benefactor,'" said General Gordon, tossing a bright silver dollar to the negro as we turned away. "No, suh- I ain't no public Democrat" said the old Senegambian in a towering passion. "A public what?" said the General with a burst of laughter, as he resumed his course toward the train. I tried to reason with the old negro; undertook to explain the meaning of the compliment that had been bestowed upon him; reminded him that he had. been paid five times over for the refreshments we had received, but all to no purpose until I told him that he owed an apology to General Gordon. "GIn'l Gawdon, suh?" "Yes, that gentleman is one of the best friends you colored people have In all the South." "Fo Gawd, suh, I'se powful sorry," and the old man wen on In a strain of self accusation that was as ridiculous as his misunderstanding, of General Gordon's re mark had been. When I overtook the General he asked with a twinkle in his eye: "Did you con vince your brother Republican of the error of his way?" That was all. He showed no feoling other than that of pity for the Ignorance of the poor creature who had abused his generosity. As we strolled through the piney woods on our way back to the train the General's fancy took a poetic turn, and he reminded me that we were " 'Way Down Upon the Suwanee River," amid scenes that had been made classic In song. Then he spoke of the love of the people for the songa of the rivers and the hills of their native land and of how this sentiment had laken deep root In the affections of the strongest men and women In all countries and had been a well-spring of patriotism and a bulwark of defense In time of war. He always went to hear the great singers when they came, but not for their selections from great operas, but rather for the songs of the people which were given at recalls. Thus he had endured the productions of the cel ebrated artists of the lyric stage, and thus he had been entranced with the popular songs which came as encores and which were received with thunderous applause. He always went to hear Pattl, and greatly enjoyed the range and sweetness of her voice, but never so much as in "The Last Rose of Summer," "Home, Sweet Home," and "'Way Down Upon the Suwanee River." And so saying his words were cut short by the call of "All aboard." for the track bad been cleared and the train was ready to go. JOE FLUFFER. 78,003 to Start With. Baltimore Sun. Perhaps some of his opponents have not considered the start that Mr. Roosevelt already has for the Presidency. A recent report shows that there are 78,000 post offices in the United States. The strenu ous candidate can, therefore, put down In his "flggerin-book" 78,003 votes to start with, including General Leonard Wood. Jacob L Rils and Dr. Cram. There would be 78,004, but Mrs. Minnie Cox, of In dlanola. Miss., unfortunately Is not able to cast a vote. THE HAPPY MARRIAGE. A Ballad London Punch. OA sensation has been, caused la Portland, Or., by the arrest of two ladles and. their hus bands for highway robbery. Evidence was brought to show that the ladles used to stand beside their husbands while the robberies were being; committed and help to rifle the victims.) When .Emerson K. "Washington met Sadie Q. Van Pott. i Her numerous attractions bowled him over on the spot; At first distinctly timid, gaining courage by ! degrees. He rushed Into her presence and addressed her on his knees: "Oh. Sadie Q., I worship you, and not as other men: My love had proved a worthy theme for Post Shakespeare's' pen: My groans and sighs excite surprise whene'er I pace the street; I really cannot sleep at all. And, worse, 1 cannot eat. "For ham and eggs (Virginia style) I've ceased to care a Jot; No strawberry shortcake tempts me now,, nor Boston beans, served hot The oyster-stew 1 wave aside; I cannot touch a clam; From these remarks you'll judge In what a wretched state I am. "So do decide to be my bride; oh, heed a lov er's prayers; Admit some sunshine to a lot, which now la dark with cares. But lest without refiecUon you are tempted to decline. Til picture what will happen should we form the said combine. "Most husbands treat their wives as dolls, and, sorrowful to state, Refuso to let them take a hand In things of any weight; Myself I mean to act upon a widely different plan: For Lovely Woman's duty lies. I hold, in help ing Man. "If you elect to marry me, my angel bird, you'll be As .partner In my business quite Invaluable to mt. And what that business Is, without preamble, I will tell: You see in mo a footpad. And I'm doing very well. "'"Way out in pleasant Oregon my humble trade I plyr Few highwaymen have got a larger clientele than I; Think not that these are Idle words. With truth my claims agree; You may have heard of Sand-Bag BUI'? Ex actly. I am he. "So, If my proffered heart and hand you'll but consent to take. You'll come with me on every expedition that I moke: Together, hand in hand, my love, at night we'll roam about. Entrap the guileless traveler, and briefly clean him out" His speech was scarcely finished, when quoth Sadie. "Wal. I vum! "What, marry you, my Emerson? I calculate! TVhy, some! Stray travelers In Oregon will soon be mighty sick; Ring up the parson on the 'phone, and get it oversllck." The parson put the service through without the least delay; And Emerson and Sadie Q. were wed that very day; Their happiness, I'm glad to say. Is wholly free from cares; I never knew so prosperous a married life as theirs. For every night when dinner's o'er, and spark ling shadows fall. They take their knuckle-dusters from the hat stand in the hall. And Emerson says. "Sadie, have you cart ridges, ray pet? Your Iron, is it clean and bright?" And Sadie says, "You bet!" .And then through quiet streets they prowl, through dim-lit squares they roam. They Intercept the passer-by, -aa he Is hurrying home; And- Emerson's destructive club upsets him- with a crash. While Sadie's nimble fingers gather In the needful cash. So on they go from day to day, as happy as can be. And In this simple tale. I think, a moral we may see: The married state can never be completely free from strife, Unless a man's profession also interests his wife. y . Condition of Our Railways. St Paul Pioneer Press. Railway earnings In 1903 were marked by a continued Increase In gross earnings over the previous year and also by an increase In net The gains In net were, however, very noticeably lower than the Increase In gross. This was owing to the high cost of material, and the increases In wages and other expenses of opera tion and maintenance. In fact while the increase in gross was very heavy, 70 per cent of It was absorbed by Increases In operating and maintenance expenses and only 30 per cent of It went to net earn ings. Of course, if there should be a falling off In gross earnings without a substantial reduction in expenses net earnings would be greatly reduced. But it seems that the railroads, as a whole, are not altogether without resources. For even If they could not reduce wages or get their materials at lower cost they can suspend betterments or cease to pay for them out of current expenses, charg ing them up to maintenance, as many of them have done. The physical condition of most properties is excellent; they are In a much better position to operate economically than they were prior to 1893 and they can afford to postpone Im provements. With this means at their command the possibility of suspending dividends In case of a setback Is much less likely than It would superficially appear. Gross Carelessness Evident. Cleveland Plain Dealer. The old year went out after a long series of disastrous railroad wrecks and the new year starts under much the same inauspicious omens. It Is idle to assert that the series of wrecks of the past few weeks would have happened If ordinary care had been exercised or that they could have happened In any other coun try than the United States. Only the grossest carelessness could have caused such a catalogue of horrors, and only through culpable indifference on the part of the. people does such carelessness be come accepted as a thing to be impotent ly deplored and not passionately resented. Furor Scrlbendi. Susie M. Best In Frank Leslie's Monthly. Mother's got the writing fever. Father's had it for a year. Sister's "daffy" on the subject Brother says the pen's his sphere Uncle's always planning essays. Aunt Is busy making rhymes. Grandma's writing "Recollections" My! but these are learned times! Niece Is editing a paper. Nephew's got the sporting page. Cousin's got the social column; Writing! "Writing's all the rage! Cook has quit to write up menus. Housemaid she skipped out today, Says that she can write a novel Just as good as Bertha. Clay. Coachman says he's sick and tired Holding reins for other folks. He's resigned he's found his mission Going to- write up funny Jokes. Seamstress left to write up fashions, "Washerwoman winks her eye: -Says that she can scribble poems While the clothes are getting dry. Teacher's writing nature sketches. Lawyer's making legal notes, Politician's filling volumes On tha crime of buying votes. , Everybody, everybody - Ramping after fame and pelf Gosh! I, too. have acght the spirit Going to turn a .scribe myself! 4 S0TE JLDCQiIMEiNT, "Come, My Corlnna, Come." As Jim Ham Lewis was slumbering In a Pullman berth, he was poked, in .the ribs with an umbrella by a woman who thought the berth was occupied by her sister, whom she wanted to "roust out" Kitty, my dear; come. Kitty, see here. If you don't soon be waking, I'll give you a shaking: It's time you were up and your breakfast a-talclng. Come. Kitty, ray pretty; It's surely a pity A girl should be choosing to be there a-snooz- ing. The beautlfulbeatlss of scenery losing. Wake up and be' Jolly, or with aid of my "brolly? - I'll poke at your ribs till you catch on your trolly. Hal now you are wriggling; no' loafing-or hig gling. But up Just as quick as a lamblet 'or pigling. So off with your nightie, my slug-a-bed god dess, Be as quick as you're flighty and on with your bodice. Oh, Kitty, you dear one; it's you are the' queer one; Are you starting a blaze with your torn-fooling ways? Or what is this glowing that's growing and showing Like a very pink hate to my wondering gaze? You're the friskiest .brisker of all frisky friskers. But angels above it's a T"i" with plnfe whiskers! A Punishment or Not.. Ex-Congressman Driggs was sentenced to one day In jail, and for all that Is told in the dispatches the day may have been a Sunday. Gin a body see the shoddy coming through the v dye, Gin a body's wearing shoddy, watch the glassy eye; Gin a body's dressed in shoddy he had better fly. For a' the lads they're wise to that a-comin'g through the dye. Mary had a little lamb. Its fleece was white as snow; It heard the cattlemen were here You should have seen it go! When is a steer not a steer? The only use some fellows have fo wool Is to pull ft over other fellows' eyes. Municipal action concerning slot ma chines Is almost as uncertain as the ma chines themselves. X Of all "rummy" strikes, surely that of the Peruvian pawnbrokers Is the rum miest The knights of the golden balls In hoc slgno apparently want a pledge from the government not content with those they get from the people. In the city health reports yesterday ap pears the name of little Miss Marquam. Hill, who Is unlucky enough to have the measles. It would be curious to learn whether or not there is a boy in the state bearing the name of Mount Hood. Bryan advocating better residences for our Ministers abroad is a strange sight Perhaps since prosperity has caused a painting of Nebraska barns', the change to the bleak legations proved too much for even Mr. Bryan's homespun faiths. Poolrooms In New Tork defied the efforts of the police. But the telegraph companies put their tolls up a couple ot notches and the poolrooms closed their doors. The gamblers felt that the com panies were kinder raising the juice. A painting of "Ousters' Last Stand" was presented to the Capitol at Topeka by a Brewing company. The antl-alcoholtcs were very indignant, and the name of th brewery was erased. Now a fair Kansas damsel has sliced the canvas into sec tipns as a slight token of disregard for brewers and their gifts. As the churches will 'not refuso money from a gambler, why should nondrlnkers refuse a painting from a brewer? Sir Herbert Maxwell, a Scottish sports man and essayist of note, says the word whisky means water and nothing else. The Gaelic name for whisky is ulsce bagh, which Is the exact equivalent of the French eau de vie. In the course of time the bagh was dropped, and ulsce. which means water, came to be the name of a drink which no self-respecting Mc Tavlsh It was aMcTavlsh that would have spoilt the flood by drinking up the water, "had it only been but one-half Glenlvet" would contaminate with water. WBX. J. "Pennsy," the Oldest University. Philadelphia Record. That the University of Pennsylvania Is the oldest university in America has een established by Charles W. Dulles, a grad uate of Pennsylvania. The university Is not the oldest college, though it was es tablished in 1740, but it was first to take steps toward the enlargement of the cur riculum by the addition of a separate de partment for graduate study the School of Medicine having been founded In 17C5. This was the first actual realization of the university idea in the colonies, but the idea of university was in the minds of the founders as early as ITco when the College of Philadelphia was given the power to grant "the usual university de gree." Both Harvard and Yale are con siderably older than Pennsylvania, the former dating back to 1636 and Yale to 1700, but neither established separate de partments for medicine and law until after the university had led the way. Fatal British Climate and Cooking London Truth. The climate of England kills half the population; the cooking kills the rest Throughout the world, wherever there Is the sun or a spring, there are English men and women- endeavoring to repair their constitutions. The medicine bill of the English people-together with Its ac companying expenses Is sufficiently large to support a second-rate Power, and does mainly support many largo and small towns on the Continent and elsewhere. OUT OF THE GINGER JAR. . "That Mr. Galley must be very poor." "TVhy?" "I asked him how he made his money and he said he earned It." New Yorker. Badger Come, tell me, do you ride an au tomobile because you like it? Cadger Part ly, but principally because other folks don't like it Boston Transcript "This seems to be the age," grumbled the housewife,, "where you are unable to get anything except something that 'Just as good as something else. " Chicago Post. Bargayne There's an agitation to reduce the price of theater seats. Mrs. Bargayne Oh, Henry, won't It be lovely when one can buy a matinee -ticket for $1.19! Town Top ics. Agent Welt did the preparation I sold your grandfather make him seem younger? Stubb Yes; we gave him an overdose and ever since he has been crying and playing with a rattle. Chicago News. Calvert Jr. What is your uncle doing now?. Baity Moore Sitting on Juries. Cal jrert, Jr. What! Why, I thought he was Judge. In one of the higher courts. Baity Moore He is. Baltimore American. "See here, butcher, this meat is half bone." "You are mistaken, sir; that is good meat- "Botheration! Do you suppose I don't know bone when I see it? I say this la bone!" "Yes; certainly that's bone. The bone Is bone, but tho meat Isn't You said that the meat was- half bone." Kansas City Journal.