Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 21, 2019)
B2 THE ASTORIAN • SATURDAY, DECEMBER 21, 2019 Husband’s economic abuse is abuse Dear Annie: I’ve been married for I don’t want to live like this anymore, nearly 32 years to a fi nancially abusive but I’m afraid to leave. Any advice? bully. For many years, whenever I took — Bullied out money that I needed without fi rst Dear Bullied: Your husband’s behav- seeking his approval, he’d pun- ior is indeed abusive. The ish me. His method for doing National Domestic Violence DEAR this was to ask me to go to the Hotline describes economic ANNIE bank to get money out; when abusers as achieving power over I’d try to do so, the tellers would their partners in some of the fol- let me know that there was not lowing ways: “preventing her enough money in the account — from getting a job; making her because he’d withdrawn nearly ask for money; giving her an all of the money and opened his allowance; taking her money; own accounts without my name not letting her know about or on them! Seeing the tellers whis- ANNIE LANE have access to family income.” Creators per and snicker to each other was To demean someone this way, Syndicate Inc. so embarrassing, and it was hurt- to deliberately make them feel ful that he’d deliberately humili- small and powerless, is the oppo- ate me that way. site of love. Some years ago, an attorney told For your safety, it’s important to for- him never to do this, and for the past mulate an exit strategy that includes the fi ve years he has not. But to this day, if support of a counselor, legal adviser I take money out of any account, even and at least one trusted friend. For fur- for something important, his dirty looks, ther guidance, I’d encourage you to call silent treatment and yelling and scream- the National Domestic Violence Hotline ing are unbearable! (1-800-799-7233), which is available 24/7, or visit their website (thehotline. org). Hold fast to the knowledge that you are worthy of so much more. Dear Annie: About two years ago, my husband had a relationship with another woman. The only reason I found out was that she called my home and told me all the sordid details. He then admit- ted it was all true. My question to you now is: Should I trust him again or leave him? — Tortured Dear Tortured: Indeed, those are the options — because you cannot stay with him without trusting him. But you can’t simply force yourself to trust him, either. You’re going to need a lot of help to get to that point. Talk to your husband about seek- ing out that help together through mar- riage counseling. Know that counseling doesn’t have to be an indefi nite, ongoing thing; even a few sessions can help equip you both with tools for repairing trust and rebuilding your relationship. By doing the work, you two can come out the other side with a stronger foundation than ever. ANSWER KEY 1. HYAMLC — “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” 2.TFNTADS — “The fi rst Noel, the angels did say” 3. JTTWTLIC — “Joy to the world, the Lord is come” 4. SBSBICTITC — “Silver bells, silver bells, it’s Christmas time in the city” 5. SNHNAICAIB — “Silent night, holy night, all is calm, all is bright” 6. JBJBJBR — “Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock” 7. CROAOFJFNAYN — “Chestnuts roasting on an open fi re, Jack Frost nipping at your nose” 8. JOSLYETW — “Jolly old St. Nickolas, lend your ear this way” 9.UOTHRPOJGOSC — “Up on the housetop reindeer paws, out jumps good old Santa Claus” 10. OTFDOCMTLGTM — “On the fi rst day of Christmas my true love gave to me” 11. ICUTMC — “It Came Upon the Midnight Clear” 12. AIAMNCFAB — “Away in a manger, no crib for a bed” 13. WCITWLTR — “What Child is This, Who, Laid to rest” 14. IDOAWCJLTOIUTK — “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the ones I used to know” 15. ISMKSCUTMLN — “I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus under- neath the mistletoe last night” 16. WWYAMC — “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” 17. AIWFCIMTFT — “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth” Holiday Worship ASTORIA CHRISTIAN CHURCH O UR S AVIOUR ’ S L UTHERAN C HURCH Sunday, December 22 8:00 & 10:00am Fourth Sunday in Advent Christmas Services Sunday Worship 10:50 am Christmas Eve Services December 24th • 6:00 pm (503) 325-2591 • 1151 H arrison a ve ., a storia Rejoice in Jesus’ Birth Christmas Eve Candlelight Service • 10pm Christmas Day Worship Service • 10am AT Tuesday, December 24 7:00pm Family Christmas Eve Candlelight Service 320 1 st Avenue (across from the Seaside Convention Center) www.oslc-seaside.org All are Welcome Calvary Episcopal Church DECEMBER 24 8:30 pm - Carol Sing 9 pm - Holy Eucharist DECEMBER 25 10 am - Holy Eucharist Bethany Free Lutheran Church 451 34th Street • Astoria (across from Safeway) FOR MORE INFO CALL (503)325-2925 503 N. Holladay, Dr. • Seaside, OR Join us for Christmas Eve, and Candlelight services Christian Church of Knappa 42417 Valley Creek Lane, Astoria, Oregon 97103 Service time 5:00 p.m. Christian Church of Warrenton 1376 S.E. Anchor Ave, Warrenton, Oregon 97146 Office: (503)861-1714 Fax: (503)861-3392 Web: www.cconline.cc Service times: 5:00 p.m. & 7:00 p.m. Christmas Eve Candlelighting Service at 7 pm Special music provided by Members of the Congregation Sermon: “O Holy Night” Peace Lutheran Church Seaside United Methodist Church 241 N. Holladay Dr. • Seaside • 503-738-7562 D ecember 24 th Carols & Candlelight Service 7 pm 12 th & e xchange • a storia First Baptist Church A place where you feel like family...come home. Christmas Eve Candlelight Service 6 PM December 24 th Sunday Advent Worship Services 10:45am 7th & Commercial, Astoria • (503) 325-1761 Astoria Church of Christ “The real message of Christmas is, God loves us and gave us his Son, an indescribable gift. Let us enjoy the good things of the season, but remember to give thanks more often than once a year. He is worthy of our adoration and greatest devotion. May we allow Jesus, the Christ, to be Lord of our lives.” 692 12 th Street Astoria, Oregon 97103 (503) 325-7398 Sundays: 10:30 am A Christmas Service of Lessons and Carols Grace Episcopal Church Lessons & Carols - Saturday, December 21 st , 4 PM A festival of readings and music for the season Followed by Wassail Reception Tuesday December 24 th 7 pm First Presbyterian Church 1103 Grand Ave. · Astoria, Oregon Christmas Eve Services - Tuesday, December 24 th Family Worship - 4:30 PM Hymn Sing- 10:30 PM Midnight Mass with choir - 11 PM Christmas Day - Wednesday, December 25 th Eucharist Service - 10 AM 1545 Franklin, Astoria • (503) 325-4691 www.graceastoria.org
