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THE ASTORIAN • SATURDAY, DECEMBER 21, 2019
Husband’s economic abuse is abuse
Dear Annie: I’ve been married for
I don’t want to live like this anymore,
nearly 32 years to a fi nancially abusive but I’m afraid to leave. Any advice?
bully. For many years, whenever I took — Bullied
out money that I needed without fi rst
Dear Bullied: Your husband’s behav-
seeking his approval, he’d pun-
ior is indeed abusive. The
ish me. His method for doing
National Domestic Violence
DEAR
this was to ask me to go to the
Hotline describes economic
ANNIE
bank to get money out; when
abusers as achieving power over
I’d try to do so, the tellers would
their partners in some of the fol-
let me know that there was not
lowing ways: “preventing her
enough money in the account —
from getting a job; making her
because he’d withdrawn nearly
ask for money; giving her an
all of the money and opened his
allowance; taking her money;
own accounts without my name
not letting her know about or
on them! Seeing the tellers whis- ANNIE LANE have access to family income.”
Creators
per and snicker to each other was
To demean someone this way,
Syndicate Inc.
so embarrassing, and it was hurt-
to deliberately make them feel
ful that he’d deliberately humili-
small and powerless, is the oppo-
ate me that way.
site of love.
Some years ago, an attorney told
For your safety, it’s important to for-
him never to do this, and for the past mulate an exit strategy that includes the
fi ve years he has not. But to this day, if support of a counselor, legal adviser
I take money out of any account, even and at least one trusted friend. For fur-
for something important, his dirty looks, ther guidance, I’d encourage you to call
silent treatment and yelling and scream- the National Domestic Violence Hotline
ing are unbearable!
(1-800-799-7233), which is available
24/7, or visit their website (thehotline.
org). Hold fast to the knowledge that you
are worthy of so much more.
Dear Annie: About two years ago,
my husband had a relationship with
another woman. The only reason I found
out was that she called my home and told
me all the sordid details. He then admit-
ted it was all true. My question to you
now is: Should I trust him again or leave
him? — Tortured
Dear Tortured: Indeed, those are the
options — because you cannot stay with
him without trusting him. But you can’t
simply force yourself to trust him, either.
You’re going to need a lot of help to get
to that point.
Talk to your husband about seek-
ing out that help together through mar-
riage counseling. Know that counseling
doesn’t have to be an indefi nite, ongoing
thing; even a few sessions can help equip
you both with tools for repairing trust and
rebuilding your relationship. By doing
the work, you two can come out the other
side with a stronger foundation than ever.
ANSWER KEY
1. HYAMLC — “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”
2.TFNTADS — “The fi rst Noel, the angels did say”
3. JTTWTLIC — “Joy to the world, the Lord is come”
4. SBSBICTITC — “Silver bells, silver bells, it’s Christmas time in the
city”
5. SNHNAICAIB — “Silent night, holy night, all is calm, all is bright”
6. JBJBJBR — “Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock”
7. CROAOFJFNAYN — “Chestnuts roasting on an open fi re, Jack
Frost nipping at your nose”
8. JOSLYETW — “Jolly old St. Nickolas, lend your ear this way”
9.UOTHRPOJGOSC — “Up on the housetop reindeer paws, out
jumps good old Santa Claus”
10. OTFDOCMTLGTM — “On the fi rst day of Christmas my true
love gave to me”
11. ICUTMC — “It Came Upon the Midnight Clear”
12. AIAMNCFAB — “Away in a manger, no crib for a bed”
13. WCITWLTR — “What Child is This, Who, Laid to rest”
14. IDOAWCJLTOIUTK — “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, just
like the ones I used to know”
15. ISMKSCUTMLN — “I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus under-
neath the mistletoe last night”
16. WWYAMC — “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”
17. AIWFCIMTFT — “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth”
Holiday Worship
ASTORIA CHRISTIAN CHURCH
O UR S AVIOUR ’ S L UTHERAN C HURCH
Sunday, December 22
8:00 & 10:00am
Fourth Sunday in Advent
Christmas Services
Sunday Worship
10:50 am
Christmas Eve Services
December 24th • 6:00 pm
(503) 325-2591 • 1151 H arrison a ve ., a storia
Rejoice in Jesus’ Birth
Christmas Eve Candlelight Service • 10pm
Christmas Day Worship Service • 10am
AT
Tuesday, December 24
7:00pm
Family Christmas Eve
Candlelight Service
320 1 st Avenue (across from the Seaside Convention Center)
www.oslc-seaside.org
All are Welcome
Calvary Episcopal
Church
DECEMBER 24
8:30 pm - Carol Sing
9 pm - Holy Eucharist
DECEMBER 25
10 am - Holy Eucharist
Bethany Free Lutheran Church
451 34th Street • Astoria
(across from Safeway)
FOR MORE INFO CALL (503)325-2925
503 N. Holladay, Dr. • Seaside, OR
Join us for
Christmas Eve,
and Candlelight
services
Christian Church of Knappa
42417 Valley Creek Lane, Astoria, Oregon 97103
Service time 5:00 p.m.
Christian Church of Warrenton
1376 S.E. Anchor Ave, Warrenton, Oregon 97146
Office: (503)861-1714 Fax: (503)861-3392
Web: www.cconline.cc
Service times: 5:00 p.m. & 7:00 p.m.
Christmas Eve
Candlelighting Service at 7 pm
Special music provided by
Members of
the Congregation
Sermon:
“O Holy Night”
Peace
Lutheran
Church
Seaside United
Methodist Church
241 N. Holladay Dr. • Seaside • 503-738-7562
D ecember 24 th
Carols & Candlelight Service
7 pm
12 th & e xchange • a storia
First Baptist Church
A place where you feel like family...come home.
Christmas Eve
Candlelight
Service 6 PM
December 24 th
Sunday Advent
Worship Services
10:45am
7th & Commercial, Astoria • (503) 325-1761
Astoria
Church of Christ
“The real message of Christmas is,
God loves us and gave us his Son, an
indescribable gift. Let us enjoy the good
things of the season, but remember to give
thanks more often than once a year. He
is worthy of our adoration and greatest
devotion. May we allow Jesus, the Christ,
to be Lord of our lives.”
692 12 th Street Astoria, Oregon 97103
(503) 325-7398
Sundays: 10:30 am
A Christmas Service
of Lessons and Carols
Grace
Episcopal
Church
Lessons & Carols - Saturday, December 21 st , 4 PM
A festival of readings and music for the season
Followed by Wassail Reception
Tuesday
December 24 th
7 pm
First Presbyterian Church
1103 Grand Ave. · Astoria, Oregon
Christmas Eve Services - Tuesday, December 24 th
Family Worship - 4:30 PM
Hymn Sing- 10:30 PM
Midnight Mass with choir - 11 PM
Christmas Day - Wednesday, December 25 th
Eucharist Service - 10 AM
1545 Franklin, Astoria • (503) 325-4691
www.graceastoria.org