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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 1, 2019)
A5 THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TuESDAY, JANuARY 1, 2019 Friend is being abused Dear Annie: I have a good how unhappy he is, sometimes friend who has been like a kid calling me for help, but later has brother to me. He has always gotten upset with me. The girl- been a very thoughtful, caring, friend is constantly harassing respectful man whom I’ve got- him over our friendship, so now ten along great with. This man he will not speak to me. I have has autism and bor- called adult protective DEAR derline intellectual services; I don’t know ANNIE functioning, so I have what else I can do. always explained I am heartbroken that things so that he can I have been cast off to better understand. I the side. I thought I was have had him over his friend, his sister. The for a meal on several worst part is knowing occasions; we enjoy that he is being abused playing board games, ANNIE LANE and suffering in silence. Creators and I have taken him I’ve tried to contact him, Syndicate Inc. on a few day trips. but he gets very upset We care deeply for over that. I feel as if I each other, not in a romantic have lost my best friend, my way but like siblings. Enter his brother, to a woman who treats on-again, off-again girlfriend, him horribly. — Missing My who is physically, verbally and Brother in Wisconsin financially abusive. She has Dear Missing: Calling adult had him in tears, left marks on protective services was the right him and broken his glasses. She thing to do, and you should con- isolates him. She is an alco- tinue to call to report incidents holic whose behavior gets very of abuse. I understand that you bizarre, as well as dangerous, feel hurt, but it’s important that when she is drunk. you not take this personally. He I have tried to get him to has not cast you aside; he has think for himself regarding her, become a victim of abuse. Be but I have also told him that careful not to try to force his he doesn’t deserve to be hit or behavior, e.g., issuing an ulti- called nasty names or ridiculed. matum that you can’t continue He has confided in me about being friends with him while TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. he dates her. That would only leave him feeling more isolated. So as hard as it is to watch him be subjected to this abuse, try to stay in the picture. You can help him make a safe escape plan when he’s ready. See the arti- cle “Supporting Someone Who Keeps Returning to an Abusive Relationship” on the National Domestic Violence Hotline website (https://www.theho- tline.org), or call the hotline (800-799-7233) for guidance. Dear Annie: Your expla- nation of EMDR psychother- apy was excellent, but beyond EMDR is a new alternative known as Havening Tech- niques. Many therapists have found this to be an effective alternative in helping peo- ple heal their wounds from past emotional traumas. You can learn more at https://www. havening.org. — Dr. Robert B. Nolan Jr. Dear Dr. Robert: Thank you for the tip. Though I can- not vouch for the efficacy of Havening Techniques person- ally, I’d encourage readers to learn more and talk to their counselors if they feel it might be a good treatment modality for them. ARIES (March 21-April 19). You might copy someone you admire, but it’s only a temporary thing to help you understand your own identity. Ulti- mately, you’d rather fail doing something that feels like you than succeed in trying to be someone else. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You’ve been known to communicate something much more important than what you’re talking about. In fact, today the topic and the words are just a costume that your real message is wearing. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You will spend hours as the Roman stoic philosopher Seneca suggested, toiling to “make yourself remarkable by some tal- ent or another,” all the while knowing that this is just icing on the cake. You are already enough. CANCER (June 22-July 22). If you’re facing familiar territory with all that’s needed to succeed, progress is certain. But if you don’t know what’s ahead, you might just be in for some greatness. No courageous move ever happened in the face of certainty. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). It is quite possible that when your efforts are counted in the future, it will be by an entirely different system of measurement than is used today. Your best bet will be to tend to the intangible aspects. For example, how does a thing feel? VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Ultimately, every- thing gets easier when you understand it better. But understanding comes in layers. The first few layers may seem to make things more complicated. Keep learning. You’ll get to a place where it all kicks in. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). As the sign of the scales, you are keenly aware of how too much of anything is toxic. Too much health is unhealthy. Too FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE much rest and leisure is exhausting. In all things, balance! SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Whether or not you enjoy politics, you will be dealing in political systems today, or at the very least in power dynamics, which are present in all groups whose numbers are greater than two. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). The tendency to blame yourself for things that aren’t your fault or credit yourself for things that aren’t your doing is universally human. To avoid it, eliminate blame and credit entirely. Put your head down and work. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Because you are walking around with your heart wide open, your encounters will tend toward the extraordinary and may include a random heartfelt conversation with a stranger. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Watching a child grow is a remarkable and layered experience that connects you with your own evolution and with humanity at large. Whatever giving you aim toward a youth will be extremely lucky today. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). The acceptable effort will be minimal. Show up and smile. Much more than that will be too much. So relax, enjoy and avoid accidentally making promises. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Jan. 2). The ful- fillment of wishes comes at a price, and it’s not the price you thought it would be. See, you’ve always been willing to put in the work, but what you didn’t realize is that feeling like you deserve it may be the hardest work of all. Love yourself. Credit yourself. Heal and change the beliefs that have kept you from feeling worthy. Libra and Scorpio adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 4, 25, 2, 28 and 18.
