A5
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TuESDAY, JANuARY 1, 2019
Friend is being abused
Dear Annie: I have a good how unhappy he is, sometimes
friend who has been like a kid calling me for help, but later has
brother to me. He has always gotten upset with me. The girl-
been a very thoughtful, caring, friend is constantly harassing
respectful man whom I’ve got- him over our friendship, so now
ten along great with. This man he will not speak to me. I have
has autism and bor-
called adult protective
DEAR
derline
intellectual
services; I don’t know
ANNIE
functioning, so I have
what else I can do.
always
explained
I am heartbroken that
things so that he can
I have been cast off to
better understand. I
the side. I thought I was
have had him over
his friend, his sister. The
for a meal on several
worst part is knowing
occasions; we enjoy
that he is being abused
playing board games, ANNIE LANE and suffering in silence.
Creators
and I have taken him
I’ve tried to contact him,
Syndicate Inc.
on a few day trips.
but he gets very upset
We care deeply for
over that. I feel as if I
each other, not in a romantic have lost my best friend, my
way but like siblings. Enter his brother, to a woman who treats
on-again, off-again girlfriend, him horribly. — Missing My
who is physically, verbally and Brother in Wisconsin
financially abusive. She has
Dear Missing: Calling adult
had him in tears, left marks on protective services was the right
him and broken his glasses. She thing to do, and you should con-
isolates him. She is an alco- tinue to call to report incidents
holic whose behavior gets very of abuse. I understand that you
bizarre, as well as dangerous, feel hurt, but it’s important that
when she is drunk.
you not take this personally. He
I have tried to get him to has not cast you aside; he has
think for himself regarding her, become a victim of abuse. Be
but I have also told him that careful not to try to force his
he doesn’t deserve to be hit or behavior, e.g., issuing an ulti-
called nasty names or ridiculed. matum that you can’t continue
He has confided in me about being friends with him while
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
he dates her. That would only
leave him feeling more isolated.
So as hard as it is to watch him
be subjected to this abuse, try to
stay in the picture. You can help
him make a safe escape plan
when he’s ready. See the arti-
cle “Supporting Someone Who
Keeps Returning to an Abusive
Relationship” on the National
Domestic Violence Hotline
website (https://www.theho-
tline.org), or call the hotline
(800-799-7233) for guidance.
Dear Annie: Your expla-
nation of EMDR psychother-
apy was excellent, but beyond
EMDR is a new alternative
known as Havening Tech-
niques. Many therapists have
found this to be an effective
alternative in helping peo-
ple heal their wounds from
past emotional traumas. You
can learn more at https://www.
havening.org. — Dr. Robert B.
Nolan Jr.
Dear Dr. Robert: Thank
you for the tip. Though I can-
not vouch for the efficacy of
Havening Techniques person-
ally, I’d encourage readers to
learn more and talk to their
counselors if they feel it might
be a good treatment modality
for them.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). You might copy
someone you admire, but it’s only a temporary thing
to help you understand your own identity. Ulti-
mately, you’d rather fail doing something that feels
like you than succeed in trying to be someone else.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You’ve been known
to communicate something much more important
than what you’re talking about. In fact, today the
topic and the words are just a costume that your real
message is wearing.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You will spend hours
as the Roman stoic philosopher Seneca suggested,
toiling to “make yourself remarkable by some tal-
ent or another,” all the while knowing that this is just
icing on the cake. You are already enough.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). If you’re facing
familiar territory with all that’s needed to succeed,
progress is certain. But if you don’t know what’s
ahead, you might just be in for some greatness.
No courageous move ever happened in the face of
certainty.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). It is quite possible that
when your efforts are counted in the future, it will
be by an entirely different system of measurement
than is used today. Your best bet will be to tend to
the intangible aspects. For example, how does a
thing feel?
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Ultimately, every-
thing gets easier when you understand it better. But
understanding comes in layers. The first few layers
may seem to make things more complicated. Keep
learning. You’ll get to a place where it all kicks in.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). As the sign of the
scales, you are keenly aware of how too much of
anything is toxic. Too much health is unhealthy. Too
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
much rest and leisure is exhausting. In all things,
balance!
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Whether or not you
enjoy politics, you will be dealing in political systems
today, or at the very least in power dynamics, which
are present in all groups whose numbers are greater
than two.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). The tendency
to blame yourself for things that aren’t your fault or
credit yourself for things that aren’t your doing is
universally human. To avoid it, eliminate blame and
credit entirely. Put your head down and work.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Because you are
walking around with your heart wide open, your
encounters will tend toward the extraordinary and
may include a random heartfelt conversation with a
stranger.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Watching a child
grow is a remarkable and layered experience that
connects you with your own evolution and with
humanity at large. Whatever giving you aim toward
a youth will be extremely lucky today.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). The acceptable
effort will be minimal. Show up and smile. Much
more than that will be too much. So relax, enjoy and
avoid accidentally making promises.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Jan. 2). The ful-
fillment of wishes comes at a price, and it’s not the
price you thought it would be. See, you’ve always
been willing to put in the work, but what you didn’t
realize is that feeling like you deserve it may be the
hardest work of all. Love yourself. Credit yourself.
Heal and change the beliefs that have kept you from
feeling worthy. Libra and Scorpio adore you. Your
lucky numbers are: 4, 25, 2, 28 and 18.