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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 7, 2018)
8A FEATURES The stranger in my house Dear Annie: I’m wondering when I look into a mirror directly to whether you have a copy of a piece check on my appearance, suddenly that I believe was in an Ann Landers she’s hogging the whole thing, com- column. It featured a woman who pletely obliterating my gorgeous felt that someone she did not know face and body. ... I’ve tried scream- was living in her house, and it was ing at her to leave — but she just about getting older. I thought it was screams back. ... If she’s going to hang very funny but have never DEAR around, the least she could seen it again. — George H. Dear George: I’m glad do is offer to pay rent. But ANNIE you brought this piece to no. Every once in a while mind. It’s “The Stranger in I do find a couple of dollar My House,” by Rose Made- bills on the kitchen counter, line Mula — later released or some loose change on my with the title “The Stranger bureau or on the floor, but in My Mirror.” I’ve had to that certainly isn’t enough. abridge it slightly below; In fact, though I don’t like Lane read it in full at http:// Annie to jump to conclusions, I Creators Syndicate Inc. seniorwomen.com, and find think she steals money from out more about the author at me quite regularly. I go to http://rosemadelinemula.com. (“The the ATM and withdraw a hundred Stranger in My House,” by Rose dollars, and a few days later, it’s Madeline Mula, copyright 1997.) gone. I certainly don’t go through it A very weird thing has hap- that fast, so I can only conclude that pened. A strange old lady has the old lady pilfers it. ... moved into my house. I have no ... For an old lady, she’s really idea who she is, where she came quite childish. She also gets into from, or how she got in. I certainly my closets when I’m not home and didn’t invite her. All I know is that alters all my clothes. They’re getting one day she wasn’t there, and the tighter every day. next day she was. Another thing: I wish she’d stop She’s very clever. She manages messing with my files and the papers to keep out of sight for the most on my desk. I can’t find a thing. ... part; but whenever I pass a mirror, She finds innumerable, imagina- I catch a glimpse of her there; and tive ways to irritate me. She gets to my newspapers, magazine and mail before me and blurs all the print; and she’s done something sinister with the volume controls on my TV, radio and phone. Now all I hear are mumbles and whispers. She’s also made my stairs steeper, my vac- uum cleaner heavier, all my knobs and faucets hard to turn, and my bed higher and a real challenge to climb into and out of. Furthermore, she gets to my gro- ceries as soon as I shelved them and applies glue to the tops of every jar and bottle so they’re just about impossible to open. Is this any way to repay my hospitality? ... She’s taken all the fun out of clothes shopping. ... When I try something on, she dons an identi- cal outfit — which looks ridiculous on her — and then stands directly in front of me so I can’t see how great it looks on me. I thought she couldn’t get any meaner than that; but yesterday she proved me wrong. She had the nerve to come with me when I went to have some passport pictures taken, and she actually stepped in front of the camera just as the shutter clicked. ... How can I go abroad now? No cus- toms official is ever going to believe that the crone scowling from my passport is me. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 2018 TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). The end of this quest will be the start of the next one. In this light, there’s really no reason to rush to the finish. In fact, you’d do well to slow down so you can absorb the lessons in this stretch of the road. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). No one seems to want to say, “I don’t know” today, least of all the clueless. Show up sponge-like. It really is possible to learn through osmosis if you’re open enough. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). When we were children, more seemed possible. We had yet to learn the limits, so it seemed that what we’d later call “magic” was just another way that things might happen. Can you return to that mind today? CANCER (June 22-July 22). Honor your flaws. You wouldn’t be you without them. Besides, you’re not going to live with them forever. Some are dropping by the wayside as you read this. You may as well appreciate them while you’re waving goodbye. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Someone is helping you behind the scenes. You can feel the good will even if you don’t know who it is. You may never know the secret angels who are on your side, which speaks to the purity of their generosity. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You may give someone you love a little breathing room, but you can’t help but check back perpetually, as it seems written in your love clause. “I tried to throw a yo-yo away; it was impossible.” — Mitch Hedberg LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). They say you can’t go back, because it’s never the same when you do. If you physically return, you’ll find the old FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE place has been either updated or ravaged by time. Go back in your mind instead and it’s just as you left it. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Historians rarely agree and can theorize endlessly about how things really happened. You’ll be in a similar quandary, with evidence that adds into quite a different story than the one being told to you. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Stars smile and wink at you as if to sanction your more daring (possibly selfish?) choices. Then again, why shouldn’t your own fun be a priority? CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Owning is overrated. What you own, you have to find a place for, organize, maintain ... and it’s a bit much when all you want to do is move around the world unfettered. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). The information you’re given is incomplete. Ask for more. What’s the plan? What’s the reason? What’s the back- story? The more you know, the more powerful you’ll be in the situation. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Your work hasn’t received the deserved accolades. This might take some time. What you’ve accomplished will stand the test of time. If you need acknowledg- ment sooner, just draw more attention to what you’ve done. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Nov. 8). In the past, you’ve chosen heroes and aspired to great things. Would you believe that this year you’ll be your own inspiration? Yes, you have already overcome so much. Just list it and you’ll see how your many accomplishments add up to success that continues on and on. If you can’t see this now, use a friend’s eyes. Aries and Taurus adore you. Your lucky numbers: 7, 30, 22, 9 and 8.