8A
FEATURES
The stranger in my house
Dear Annie: I’m wondering when I look into a mirror directly to
whether you have a copy of a piece check on my appearance, suddenly
that I believe was in an Ann Landers she’s hogging the whole thing, com-
column. It featured a woman who pletely obliterating my gorgeous
felt that someone she did not know face and body. ... I’ve tried scream-
was living in her house, and it was ing at her to leave — but she just
about getting older. I thought it was screams back. ...
If she’s going to hang
very funny but have never
DEAR
around, the least she could
seen it again. — George H.
Dear George: I’m glad
do is offer to pay rent. But
ANNIE
you brought this piece to
no. Every once in a while
mind. It’s “The Stranger in
I do find a couple of dollar
My House,” by Rose Made-
bills on the kitchen counter,
line Mula — later released
or some loose change on my
with the title “The Stranger
bureau or on the floor, but
in My Mirror.” I’ve had to
that certainly isn’t enough.
abridge it slightly below;
In fact, though I don’t like
Lane
read it in full at http:// Annie
to jump to conclusions, I
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
seniorwomen.com, and find
think she steals money from
out more about the author at
me quite regularly. I go to
http://rosemadelinemula.com. (“The the ATM and withdraw a hundred
Stranger in My House,” by Rose dollars, and a few days later, it’s
Madeline Mula, copyright 1997.)
gone. I certainly don’t go through it
A very weird thing has hap- that fast, so I can only conclude that
pened. A strange old lady has the old lady pilfers it. ...
moved into my house. I have no
... For an old lady, she’s really
idea who she is, where she came quite childish. She also gets into
from, or how she got in. I certainly my closets when I’m not home and
didn’t invite her. All I know is that alters all my clothes. They’re getting
one day she wasn’t there, and the tighter every day.
next day she was.
Another thing: I wish she’d stop
She’s very clever. She manages messing with my files and the papers
to keep out of sight for the most on my desk. I can’t find a thing. ...
part; but whenever I pass a mirror,
She finds innumerable, imagina-
I catch a glimpse of her there; and tive ways to irritate me. She gets to
my newspapers, magazine and mail
before me and blurs all the print;
and she’s done something sinister
with the volume controls on my TV,
radio and phone. Now all I hear are
mumbles and whispers. She’s also
made my stairs steeper, my vac-
uum cleaner heavier, all my knobs
and faucets hard to turn, and my bed
higher and a real challenge to climb
into and out of.
Furthermore, she gets to my gro-
ceries as soon as I shelved them and
applies glue to the tops of every
jar and bottle so they’re just about
impossible to open. Is this any way
to repay my hospitality?
... She’s taken all the fun out
of clothes shopping. ... When I try
something on, she dons an identi-
cal outfit — which looks ridiculous
on her — and then stands directly in
front of me so I can’t see how great
it looks on me.
I thought she couldn’t get any
meaner than that; but yesterday she
proved me wrong. She had the nerve
to come with me when I went to have
some passport pictures taken, and
she actually stepped in front of the
camera just as the shutter clicked. ...
How can I go abroad now? No cus-
toms official is ever going to believe
that the crone scowling from my
passport is me.
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 2018
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). The end of this
quest will be the start of the next one. In this
light, there’s really no reason to rush to the
finish. In fact, you’d do well to slow down so
you can absorb the lessons in this stretch of
the road.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). No one seems
to want to say, “I don’t know” today, least of all
the clueless. Show up sponge-like. It really is
possible to learn through osmosis if you’re open
enough.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). When we were
children, more seemed possible. We had yet
to learn the limits, so it seemed that what we’d
later call “magic” was just another way that
things might happen. Can you return to that
mind today?
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Honor your flaws.
You wouldn’t be you without them. Besides,
you’re not going to live with them forever. Some
are dropping by the wayside as you read this.
You may as well appreciate them while you’re
waving goodbye.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Someone is helping
you behind the scenes. You can feel the good
will even if you don’t know who it is. You may
never know the secret angels who are on
your side, which speaks to the purity of their
generosity.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You may give
someone you love a little breathing room, but
you can’t help but check back perpetually, as
it seems written in your love clause. “I tried to
throw a yo-yo away; it was impossible.” — Mitch
Hedberg
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). They say you can’t
go back, because it’s never the same when you
do. If you physically return, you’ll find the old
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
place has been either updated or ravaged by
time. Go back in your mind instead and it’s just
as you left it.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Historians rarely
agree and can theorize endlessly about how
things really happened. You’ll be in a similar
quandary, with evidence that adds into quite a
different story than the one being told to you.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Stars smile
and wink at you as if to sanction your more
daring (possibly selfish?) choices. Then again,
why shouldn’t your own fun be a priority?
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Owning is
overrated. What you own, you have to find a
place for, organize, maintain ... and it’s a bit
much when all you want to do is move around
the world unfettered.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). The information
you’re given is incomplete. Ask for more. What’s
the plan? What’s the reason? What’s the back-
story? The more you know, the more powerful
you’ll be in the situation.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Your work hasn’t
received the deserved accolades. This might
take some time. What you’ve accomplished will
stand the test of time. If you need acknowledg-
ment sooner, just draw more attention to what
you’ve done.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Nov. 8). In the
past, you’ve chosen heroes and aspired to
great things. Would you believe that this year
you’ll be your own inspiration? Yes, you have
already overcome so much. Just list it and you’ll
see how your many accomplishments add up
to success that continues on and on. If you can’t
see this now, use a friend’s eyes. Aries and
Taurus adore you. Your lucky numbers: 7, 30,
22, 9 and 8.