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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Oct. 29, 2018)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, OCTOBER 29, 2018 FEATURES TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE Fluent in one language Dear Annie: I’ve always been letter from “Put on the Back Burner,” great at gift-giving. I enjoy giving who had been dating a man for three others things that they will thor- months when he told her he needed to oughly enjoy. But others are rarely focus on helping his 17-year-old son, as good at getting gifts for me. I don’t who was having legal troubles. I said think I should feel bad for being a that she shouldn’t wait for him and little materialistic; I think everyone that she deserves better treatment, but likes getting thoughtful pres- many people felt I was too DEAR ents. I recently read “The 5 harsh on the man. Read on. Love Languages,” which TOO HARSH: Though ANNIE showed me that “receiving I agree “Put on the Back gifts” is a very valid desire. Burner” shouldn’t wait for the man she was dating, I I know I can’t control other feel you judged him way people’s actions, but is there too harshly. some way I can make peace They only dated for with always being the more thoughtful person in my three months; then, obvi- Lane ously, something really bad relationships? — Gift-Giv- Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. ing Guru happened with his son. He Dear Gift-Giving Guru: needed to put all his energy It’s not only about asking others to into dealing with that situation and speak your love language; it’s about apparently felt it was too much to learning to understand theirs. Just put on her so early in their relation- because you enjoy giving thoughtful ship. When bad things happen, some- gifts doesn’t mean your partner isn’t times good people have to make hard equally thoughtful in other ways, choices. such as the other four languages men- Though he did not break up with tioned in Gary Chapman’s book — her in the best way, at least he was words of affirmation, quality time, honest with her. He didn’t ask her to acts of service and physical touch. wait. No telling how long he’ll have Encourage your partner to read the to focus on whatever happened. But book, too, so you can share a better he isn’t a villain at all. He seems like appreciation of each other’s commu- a good man, overwhelmed by bad nication style. circumstances — and a good father Dear Readers: I recently printed a for focusing on his son when his son 5A By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. needs him. Thanks for listening. LOYAL READER: I read your column every day and enjoy it very much. I almost always agree with you. I’ve learned a lot from you. Today you replied to “Put on the Back Burner” that her boyfriend was showing his “true colors” after an issue with his teenage son. I feel that you judged him too harshly with- out knowing the full situation. First of all, they had been dating for only three months. His son got into some kind of legal trouble and trouble at school. No clue what the issue was. Dad decided he must make the child his priority for the time being. Kudos to him! And he was honest with his lady friend. He did not simply “ghost” her. Stinks for her, for them, for the relationship, but I’m guessing the situation was pretty serious, need- ing all his time, attention and emo- tional energy. She probably shouldn’t wait for him. But at least he didn’t lead her on or even give her much hope. Bet- ter to find out in three months than in three years. Dear Loyal Reader: I received a dozen or so other letters echoing your sentiments. I concede that I may have been too harsh on that man. At least he was direct about his priorities. Thank you all for writing. ARIES (March 21-April 19). You may go into a hibernation away from social interaction as you process recent happenings in your life. Nothing too heavy, but it’s important to you to get emotionally organized, figuring out what to do with the new stuff. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). The secret is to be content with small gains or, better yet, to be thrilled by them. Without small gains, there is not a journey. Believe this: You are progressing, mov- ing inch by inch toward your desired destination. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). The map should enhance your journey, not restrict it. When you have a clear map, you can relax, look around, take in your surroundings without the distraction of a worry that you may be lost. CANCER (June 22-July 22). You made a move, and now you’re not so sure it was the right one. It’s too soon to tell. Sit with it awhile. Turn it over in your mind, and look at all sides. Stay cool. Wait to see what develops. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Get ready for a joyful awareness of the best that’s inside you. This won’t — and in fact cannot — come from some- one’s telling you that you’ve done well. It can come only from knowing yourself. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You want to feel as though you belong to someone, but you don’t want to feel controlled. You want to call someone yours with the idea that you own some of the relationship but not the person. Boundaries get worked out. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). There are a lot of things you could do, but why? That’s the ques- tion to answer. Because someone is telling you to do it is not a good enough reason today. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Some attitudes FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE are harder to muster up than others but so worth the effort. Determination, tenacity and enthusi- asm, for instance, may take some working up to. Give yourself the right reasons and you’re halfway there. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). People say that starting is the hardest part, but often that’s not the case. For instance, it was easy for you to head into a recent project with high energy. Handling the slump in the middle will be the real test. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). If you’re going too fast, it’s hard to keep things in control. But this is nothing compared with how hard it is to stay in control when you’re going too slowly. That’s why it’s important to be around people with a similar sense of pacing. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). How well a person does a thing will be completely depen- dent on attitude. Keep it in mind when you’re choosing your team or deciding which group to join. Sincere smiles will be a good test of sincere people. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Advance confi- dently. Luck is not on your side, but there are no significant forces to oppose you. On a neutral day such as this, a confident advance will tip the scales of fortune your way. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Oct. 30). If your soul could be photographed, it would be among the great beauties, a top model of seraphim, with a strength that radiates through all you do this solar return. Honor the real you by saying “no” to what’s not working and “yes” to possibility. The first quarter of 2019 will require investment and then a building period. Aries and Scorpio adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 6, 30, 33, 39 and 14.
