THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, OCTOBER 29, 2018
FEATURES
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
Fluent in one language
Dear Annie: I’ve always been letter from “Put on the Back Burner,”
great at gift-giving. I enjoy giving who had been dating a man for three
others things that they will thor- months when he told her he needed to
oughly enjoy. But others are rarely focus on helping his 17-year-old son,
as good at getting gifts for me. I don’t who was having legal troubles. I said
think I should feel bad for being a that she shouldn’t wait for him and
little materialistic; I think everyone that she deserves better treatment, but
likes getting thoughtful pres-
many people felt I was too
DEAR
ents. I recently read “The 5
harsh on the man. Read on.
Love Languages,” which
TOO HARSH: Though
ANNIE
showed me that “receiving
I agree “Put on the Back
gifts” is a very valid desire.
Burner” shouldn’t wait for
the man she was dating, I
I know I can’t control other
feel you judged him way
people’s actions, but is there
too harshly.
some way I can make peace
They only dated for
with always being the more
thoughtful person in my
three months; then, obvi-
Lane
ously, something really bad
relationships? — Gift-Giv- Annie
Creators
Syndicate
Inc.
ing Guru
happened with his son. He
Dear Gift-Giving Guru:
needed to put all his energy
It’s not only about asking others to into dealing with that situation and
speak your love language; it’s about apparently felt it was too much to
learning to understand theirs. Just put on her so early in their relation-
because you enjoy giving thoughtful ship. When bad things happen, some-
gifts doesn’t mean your partner isn’t times good people have to make hard
equally thoughtful in other ways, choices.
such as the other four languages men-
Though he did not break up with
tioned in Gary Chapman’s book — her in the best way, at least he was
words of affirmation, quality time, honest with her. He didn’t ask her to
acts of service and physical touch. wait. No telling how long he’ll have
Encourage your partner to read the to focus on whatever happened. But
book, too, so you can share a better he isn’t a villain at all. He seems like
appreciation of each other’s commu- a good man, overwhelmed by bad
nication style.
circumstances — and a good father
Dear Readers: I recently printed a for focusing on his son when his son
5A
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
needs him. Thanks for listening.
LOYAL READER: I read your
column every day and enjoy it very
much. I almost always agree with
you. I’ve learned a lot from you.
Today you replied to “Put on the
Back Burner” that her boyfriend
was showing his “true colors” after
an issue with his teenage son. I feel
that you judged him too harshly with-
out knowing the full situation. First
of all, they had been dating for only
three months. His son got into some
kind of legal trouble and trouble at
school. No clue what the issue was.
Dad decided he must make the child
his priority for the time being. Kudos
to him! And he was honest with
his lady friend. He did not simply
“ghost” her. Stinks for her, for them,
for the relationship, but I’m guessing
the situation was pretty serious, need-
ing all his time, attention and emo-
tional energy.
She probably shouldn’t wait for
him. But at least he didn’t lead her
on or even give her much hope. Bet-
ter to find out in three months than in
three years.
Dear Loyal Reader: I received a
dozen or so other letters echoing your
sentiments. I concede that I may have
been too harsh on that man. At least
he was direct about his priorities.
Thank you all for writing.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). You may go into
a hibernation away from social interaction as
you process recent happenings in your life.
Nothing too heavy, but it’s important to you to get
emotionally organized, figuring out what to do
with the new stuff.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). The secret is to
be content with small gains or, better yet, to be
thrilled by them. Without small gains, there is not
a journey. Believe this: You are progressing, mov-
ing inch by inch toward your desired destination.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). The map should
enhance your journey, not restrict it. When you
have a clear map, you can relax, look around,
take in your surroundings without the distraction
of a worry that you may be lost.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). You made a move,
and now you’re not so sure it was the right one.
It’s too soon to tell. Sit with it awhile. Turn it over
in your mind, and look at all sides. Stay cool.
Wait to see what develops.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Get ready for a joyful
awareness of the best that’s inside you. This
won’t — and in fact cannot — come from some-
one’s telling you that you’ve done well. It can
come only from knowing yourself.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You want to feel as
though you belong to someone, but you don’t
want to feel controlled. You want to call someone
yours with the idea that you own some of the
relationship but not the person. Boundaries get
worked out.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). There are a lot of
things you could do, but why? That’s the ques-
tion to answer. Because someone is telling you
to do it is not a good enough reason today.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Some attitudes
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
are harder to muster up than others but so worth
the effort. Determination, tenacity and enthusi-
asm, for instance, may take some working up
to. Give yourself the right reasons and you’re
halfway there.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). People say
that starting is the hardest part, but often that’s
not the case. For instance, it was easy for you
to head into a recent project with high energy.
Handling the slump in the middle will be the real
test.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). If you’re going
too fast, it’s hard to keep things in control. But
this is nothing compared with how hard it is to
stay in control when you’re going too slowly.
That’s why it’s important to be around people
with a similar sense of pacing.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). How well a
person does a thing will be completely depen-
dent on attitude. Keep it in mind when you’re
choosing your team or deciding which group to
join. Sincere smiles will be a good test of sincere
people.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Advance confi-
dently. Luck is not on your side, but there are no
significant forces to oppose you. On a neutral
day such as this, a confident advance will tip the
scales of fortune your way.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Oct. 30). If your
soul could be photographed, it would be among
the great beauties, a top model of seraphim,
with a strength that radiates through all you do
this solar return. Honor the real you by saying
“no” to what’s not working and “yes” to possibility.
The first quarter of 2019 will require investment
and then a building period. Aries and Scorpio
adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 6, 30, 33,
39 and 14.