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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Oct. 10, 2018)
6A FEATURES Regretting having children Dear Readers: Last month, I wish I had never had kids. I could I posed a question to everyone: write quite a dissertation about what “If you had to do it all over again, a pain in the rear my son and daugh- would you have kids?” Thousands ter have been over the years, but I won’t bore you with that. Let’s just of you responded. Two days ago, we heard from say they have screwed up my retire- parents who would gladly have chil- ment years, and for that, I am bitter. I dren if given a redo. (They would just like some peace DEAR constituted 77 percent of so my wife and I could responses overall.) Yester- enjoy what years we have ANNIE day’s column was dedi- left. The only thing worse cated to people who don’t than being alone is wishing regret not having children you were alone. (the second-most com- Hurting: I had two mon group, at 12 percent). children. One died. My Today we’ll hear from the daughter, now an adult, has third-most populous group been a heartache over and Lane (9 percent): parents who, Annie over. I wish I’d never had Creators Syndicate Inc. if given the chance to start a child. I have a niece and a over, would opt not to have nephew, and I make a great children. I appreciate the vulnerabil- aunt. They love me with all of their ity and honesty of these respondents, hearts. I wish I had stuck to that. as it is obviously a difficult subject Louisiana: Thirty years ago, and calls up some raw emotions. I was promiscuous and strug- Read on, and check back tomor- gling with addiction. My plans did row to hear from the final group: not include children. At age 25, I people who regret not having became ill with what I thought was children. the flu. After seeing a doctor, I was No Name, Please: Never! All told I was approaching my fourth they do is grow up and hurt you. month of pregnancy. Talk about a Take it from a mother whose grown game changer! I had to make a deci- sion, because it was no longer about son wants no contact. In The South: Yes, but not the me. If it hadn’t been for that unex- same ones. pected pregnancy, I would have Kentucky: I am 69 years old, and eventually died of a drug overdose somewhere down the line. My son was born healthy, and I raised him the best way I knew how. I thank God for my son, my only child. He is the best thing I have ever done with my life, and I thank him for saving mine. But he is now 29 years old and facing some of the same demons I struggled with. So, if I could have prevented his suffering, if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t. But no regrets. On Second Thought: Though I love my present two children, after much thinking, I would prefer not to have had any. Disappointed: I most definitely would not have children again. I had two children, who are now mid- dle-aged. My son has suffered from mental illness, and life with him has been a roller coaster. He is still pretty much a child, and I have to handle all his affairs. My daughter and grand- son moved to the other side of the country, and I haven’t seen them for a few years. Neither of them seems too interested in my welfare, listens to suggestions or takes my advice. I have always tried to be supportive but have let them fail up to a point, to avoid enabling their dysfunction. BROKENHEARTED: I feel like a bad person for even thinking this, but I would say no. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 10, 2018 TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). You might be surprised at what makes you super happy. That’s why it’s so important to try new things. Today, it’s lucky to do this with someone you trust. Tackling fresh experiences together will create a tight bond. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Self-absorption is a state of fear. The trepidation may be mild in variety, a low current of worry that the world is not safe for us. Therefore it’s best to tend to what is known. The self-absorbed will need your compassion today. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Do you walk around this fair thinking, “I’ve already ridden all the rides I want to?” You’re missing something. Either you ruled it out as too scary or too mild when, in fact, there’s a thrill inside that’s just your size. CANCER (June 22-July 22). This is the cos- mic opportunity of the day: If you did it once, you can do it again. And if you haven’t done it, you’re due. Believe it, and make your move. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). The highest form of flattery is imitation. Remember that time you followed someone just to make that person feel good about his or her choice? It was big-heart- ed, but you won’t need to go that far today to make people feel good. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Don’t worry; you will be something better than you were before. And this mistake? It’s not a setback. It’s actually the mechanism through which improvement is made possible. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). To forward your personal journey, you’ll have to ditch a lot of the bad, or rather, the less-than-optimum. And now you’ll get even stricter with yourself, only because you want certain results that take FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE sacrifice. You’re ready. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Your role requires you to live in your head more than you’d like to, reviewing possibilities, playing out different sce- narios, testing things mentally. Take frequent breaks to stay fresh. This one is important. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). No one can do what you do. Stop being so hard on your- self. You’re losing perspective on how special you are. To give yourself credit isn’t narcissistic; in fact, it’s the spiritual generosity that helps you be more kind today. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). To under- stand others takes emotional wit, social clev- erness and a better than average awareness. To understand yourself takes these things plus courage and acceptance. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Do you ever wonder what sort of peace you’d experience through a day without talking? Maybe you can’t go the whole day, but things will change with even a few quiet hours. Silence is a teacher. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). For primates, the standard is to reject or, more likely, attack anyone outside of the group. For humans, inclusion is often the very reason the group thrives. There’s much to absorb from those who are different from us. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Oct. 11). If your life were a town, this year would represent a population boom. You’ll have more than the usual amount of company, especially while adventuring. Other highlights include: prime tickets to an event, lots of inside jokes that add richness to your group’s story and a new skill to add to your bag. Taurus and Cancer adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 14, 6, 22, 12 and 40.
