6A
FEATURES
Regretting having children
Dear Readers: Last month, I wish I had never had kids. I could
I posed a question to everyone: write quite a dissertation about what
“If you had to do it all over again, a pain in the rear my son and daugh-
would you have kids?” Thousands ter have been over the years, but I
won’t bore you with that. Let’s just
of you responded.
Two days ago, we heard from say they have screwed up my retire-
parents who would gladly have chil- ment years, and for that, I am bitter. I
dren if given a redo. (They
would just like some peace
DEAR
constituted 77 percent of
so my wife and I could
responses overall.) Yester-
enjoy what years we have
ANNIE
day’s column was dedi-
left. The only thing worse
cated to people who don’t
than being alone is wishing
regret not having children
you were alone.
(the second-most com-
Hurting: I had two
mon group, at 12 percent).
children. One died. My
Today we’ll hear from the
daughter, now an adult, has
third-most populous group
been a heartache over and
Lane
(9 percent): parents who, Annie
over. I wish I’d never had
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
if given the chance to start
a child. I have a niece and a
over, would opt not to have
nephew, and I make a great
children. I appreciate the vulnerabil- aunt. They love me with all of their
ity and honesty of these respondents, hearts. I wish I had stuck to that.
as it is obviously a difficult subject
Louisiana: Thirty years ago,
and calls up some raw emotions.
I was promiscuous and strug-
Read on, and check back tomor- gling with addiction. My plans did
row to hear from the final group: not include children. At age 25, I
people who regret not having became ill with what I thought was
children.
the flu. After seeing a doctor, I was
No Name, Please: Never! All told I was approaching my fourth
they do is grow up and hurt you. month of pregnancy. Talk about a
Take it from a mother whose grown game changer! I had to make a deci-
sion, because it was no longer about
son wants no contact.
In The South: Yes, but not the me. If it hadn’t been for that unex-
same ones.
pected pregnancy, I would have
Kentucky: I am 69 years old, and eventually died of a drug overdose
somewhere down the line. My son
was born healthy, and I raised him
the best way I knew how. I thank
God for my son, my only child. He is
the best thing I have ever done with
my life, and I thank him for saving
mine. But he is now 29 years old and
facing some of the same demons I
struggled with. So, if I could have
prevented his suffering, if I had to
do it all over again, I wouldn’t. But
no regrets.
On Second Thought: Though I
love my present two children, after
much thinking, I would prefer not to
have had any.
Disappointed: I most definitely
would not have children again. I
had two children, who are now mid-
dle-aged. My son has suffered from
mental illness, and life with him has
been a roller coaster. He is still pretty
much a child, and I have to handle all
his affairs. My daughter and grand-
son moved to the other side of the
country, and I haven’t seen them for
a few years. Neither of them seems
too interested in my welfare, listens
to suggestions or takes my advice. I
have always tried to be supportive
but have let them fail up to a point,
to avoid enabling their dysfunction.
BROKENHEARTED: I feel
like a bad person for even thinking
this, but I would say no.
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 10, 2018
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). You might be
surprised at what makes you super happy.
That’s why it’s so important to try new things.
Today, it’s lucky to do this with someone you
trust. Tackling fresh experiences together will
create a tight bond.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Self-absorption
is a state of fear. The trepidation may be mild
in variety, a low current of worry that the world
is not safe for us. Therefore it’s best to tend to
what is known. The self-absorbed will need
your compassion today.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Do you walk
around this fair thinking, “I’ve already ridden all
the rides I want to?” You’re missing something.
Either you ruled it out as too scary or too mild
when, in fact, there’s a thrill inside that’s just
your size.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). This is the cos-
mic opportunity of the day: If you did it once,
you can do it again. And if you haven’t done it,
you’re due. Believe it, and make your move.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). The highest form of
flattery is imitation. Remember that time you
followed someone just to make that person feel
good about his or her choice? It was big-heart-
ed, but you won’t need to go that far today to
make people feel good.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Don’t worry; you
will be something better than you were before.
And this mistake? It’s not a setback. It’s actually
the mechanism through which improvement is
made possible.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). To forward your
personal journey, you’ll have to ditch a lot of
the bad, or rather, the less-than-optimum. And
now you’ll get even stricter with yourself, only
because you want certain results that take
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
sacrifice. You’re ready.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Your role requires
you to live in your head more than you’d like to,
reviewing possibilities, playing out different sce-
narios, testing things mentally. Take frequent
breaks to stay fresh. This one is important.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). No one can
do what you do. Stop being so hard on your-
self. You’re losing perspective on how special
you are. To give yourself credit isn’t narcissistic;
in fact, it’s the spiritual generosity that helps
you be more kind today.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). To under-
stand others takes emotional wit, social clev-
erness and a better than average awareness.
To understand yourself takes these things plus
courage and acceptance.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Do you ever
wonder what sort of peace you’d experience
through a day without talking? Maybe you can’t
go the whole day, but things will change with
even a few quiet hours. Silence is a teacher.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). For primates,
the standard is to reject or, more likely, attack
anyone outside of the group. For humans,
inclusion is often the very reason the group
thrives. There’s much to absorb from those
who are different from us.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Oct. 11). If your
life were a town, this year would represent a
population boom. You’ll have more than the
usual amount of company, especially while
adventuring. Other highlights include: prime
tickets to an event, lots of inside jokes that add
richness to your group’s story and a new skill to
add to your bag. Taurus and Cancer adore you.
Your lucky numbers are: 14, 6, 22, 12 and 40.